


If Someone Cared Enough

by Aishling



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Parents, Aftermath of Violence, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bullying is abuse, Dumbldore's grade A teaching, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hogwarts staff in general, Hurt/Comfort, Lily does some growing up, Neglecting students' needs is abuse, OCs along for the ride, PTSD is real shit, Sexual Content, Snape needs a hug, people learning hard truths, some marauder bashing, the bystander effect, to be fair they're sort of dicks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 23:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 78
Words: 406,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10841898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishling/pseuds/Aishling
Summary: What if Snape had received some better guidance when he was young from people who cared enough to notice what he was going through and looked deeper than the surface?  What if there had been Slytherins who weren't aspiring Death Eaters?  Would their assistance be enough to help a few young and hot tempered teens?





	1. Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! This is my first Harry Potter fic so bear with me here.
> 
> Now I know the presence of an Oc or two might make some of you a little wary and that is understandable. But I swear, my oc's are just here to help the plot along, not steal the show. Just a little warning, this story will contain some adult themes such as child abuse, physical assault, PTSD, racism, and sexual assault. I will try to handle the subjects with the respect they deserve.
> 
> It always bothered me in the HP universe that basically all the Slytherins are bad people. Only Snape and Draco are redeemable and by the time either of them shows a good side, they have already done some pretty awful things. There needs to be someone in Slytherin with a conscience, otherwise Rowling's ending with Harry saying there is nothing wrong with his son possibly ending up in Slytherin comes off as half assed, as he was given very little to look kindly on Slytherin house for.
> 
> Now, I make no excuses for Snapes adult actions. Bullying children is awful, especially when it is a grown adult doing it. But I can't help but wonder if his behavior is in no small part a result of his own difficult life. Clearly we have someone who was vulnerable and easily led from a young age who refuses to admit weakness or victim-hood, while suffering greatly at the hands of his father and even his peers. I imagine some level of PTSD would have an effect on his outcome, much like how PTSD from my own childhood resulted in a rather nasty mean streak in my high school years, including saying terrible, unforgivable things, and physically fighting often when I felt scared. Seeing how the HP universe treats mental damage, it is doubtful he received any treatment for his issues that he very likely repressed. This story is to explore how things may have turned out if others had actually took a stand and helped him when he needed it.

The sun was reaching the highest point in the sky when the doors to Hogwarts burst open to release a slew of students onto its perfectly manicured and grassy grounds. Mentally exhausted and restless from being cooped up so long, the fifth years breathed a collective sigh of relief as they descended on the freedom of fresh air and sunlight that they so craved. Fifth year OWLs were proving to be as difficult as professors had promised and many students were beginning to regret forgoing one or two extra studying opportunities for Exploding Snap and Wizards Chess.

For just having survived a lengthy, frustratingly tough DADA exam, students couldn't be happier to bask in such perfect weather. The gentle blow of a light breeze offset the oncoming soon-to-be summer heat and the lush green rolling expanse of grass called invitingly to anyone who just so happened to fancy a lie in it. With the sky a robin's egg blue, hardly a single cloud hung in the sky and the Black Lake glittered magnificently in the sunlight, it's still surface broken only by the occasional ripples of bare teenage feet and the Giant Squid lazily waving one massive tentacle above the water.

...it should go without saying that a day so serene was due for some disruption.

" _ **Expelliarmus!"**_

The spell that broke the tranquil beginnings of what could have been a great afternoon came from

a young man not too far from the castle doors. Standing tall and proud—some would say arrogant and cocky to be a more apt description—James Potter had his wand drawn as his friend Sirius came up besides him. Both boys wore matching grins, but they weren't nice smiles. No, they were the sort that promised unpleasantness and more than a few hurt feelings when directed at someone. And at that precise moment those smiles were directed at one unfortunate target; the lanky, surly, and unpopular Severus Snape.

In no time at all a rather one sided fight had broken out, just as could be expected when it was two against one, and a crowd was beginning to gather. Many near the lake and on the outskirts of the school grounds turned to stare unabashedly at the spectacle.

The duel—if you could call it that—rapidly escalated past childish taunts as James threw a cleaning spell in Snape's direction. Bubbles frothed up from the greasy teen's mouth and spilled onto the ground as he sputtered and hacked. Unwillingly breathing in water and soap, Snape struggled for air.

"Leave him ALONE!" bellowed an angry voice as a mass of flaming red hair and the embodiment of indignation stormed across the lawn.

The nosy crowd of onlookers grew larger still as Lily Evans descended upon the scene. James naturally put on his most charming smile, running an hand through his hair as he greeting her as casually as if he wasn't currently tormenting someone. It really was a wonder how he actually thought he could woo her while simultaneously hexing her friend.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Snape lunged for his wand and managed to fire off a quick spell before being unceremoniously hung upside down in the air. As he struggled to right himself in the undignified position, his robes fell up over his head, revealing his underwear to a viciously amused crowd.

{page break}

A short distance away by a outcropping of rocks, a small group of students with their notes and books strewn out across their laps had been watching the commotion for some time. None of them found any amusement to be had in the sickening display of bullying.

Kohl rimmed eyes narrowed sharply, scrutinizing the fight with distaste, "Did Evans—?"

"She almost smiled!" cried another from the group, "I mean, it certainly looked like she was trying not to."

"Yes because a friend being humiliated is oh so amusing," was the not so amused response.

{page break}

Lily finally had the good sense to take her own wand out and brandished it angrily at James and Sirius. Students watched as Snape scrambled to his feet and righted his robes.

Then, just when it seemed the ordeal was over, a terrible word fell from Snape's lips and a stunned silence fell over the grounds of Hogwarts.

Lily took only a second to process what she just heard before she coldly dismissed her one time friend, with a not too kind dig at his underwear for good measure. James attempted to play the white knight, only to be angrily rebuffed as well and soon Lily was marching off across the grounds and back towards her own friends.

{page break}

"Alright," the girl with the kohl rimmed eyes stood up, brushing dirt off her robes, "I've seen just about enough of this."

"Sim, sit back down," a timid girl next to her friend whispered, tugging at her sleeve to pull her back, "Please, you know how you are when you're angry."

The girl gently pushed her friend's hand away, "I've been sitting here waiting for a prefect to do their damn job and so far, not a single one of them has done anything. One is just sitting there and now the other has up and ditched because she's offended. So I guess its up to me to put an end to this."

"They didn't listen much to Evans," a boy pointed out, "And Potter _likes_ her. What can you do?"

"You done with that copy of _History of Magic_?" the girl asked.

"Well...yes, I suppose we won't be needing this edition next year, but I don't see what that—"

" _ **Wingardium Leviosa!"**_

With a flick of her wand, the girl had her friends book hovering in the air. Another flick had it fast in flight across the grounds towards the group of boys just as James resumed his attack on Snape.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

" _ **Bombarda!"**_

The book burst apart in a shower of paper and leather bindings with enough force to knock Potter off his feet and onto the ground. As his wand rolled out of his hand, the spell on Snape lifted and the greasy haired teen came crashing to the ground.

The laughing group of spectators went silent, not sure of what to make of this sudden change of events. Even those who had been doing their best to ignore the initial scene were watching now.

"What the hell?" James cried, covered in bits of burnt paper.

"Hell is the least of what you deserve," someone came forward, the crowd around the Marauders and Snape parting like the Red Sea.

Coming to stand between Snape and Potter was a girl no older than sixteen. Her golden eyes with rimmed in heavy black kohl and an array of pastel shades of eye-shadow dusted across both eyelids. The makeup made a stark contrast to her rich mocha skin. Tall and regal, she could be called very attractive if she didn't have so vexing a look upon her aristocratic face. Draped over her shapely frame were Slytherin robes.

Simone Serapeum was born to a French heiress from Beauxbatons and a wealthy former Hufflepuff with a hand in the legal proceedings of the Wizengamot. This fine breeding had made Simone a well known socialite of high society long before she was even of Hogwarts age. Raised with the highest of expectations upon her shoulders, Simone was the epitome of decorum, at least until someone managed to catch her ire. Said to be cursed with her mother's temperament, she was fiercely protective of her friends and family. When pushed too far, Simone was like a powder keg igniting in a fireworks shop. This was demonstrated all too unfortunately in her first year in Hogwart's hallowed halls.

Cynthia Berget, a Ravenclaw third year and notorious bully, made the terrible mistake of insulting a first year within ear shot of Simone. This first year was Thea Mnemosyne, a girl with mousy hair and a personality to match. She also happened to be Simone's best friend. Simone descended on the startled third year in a flurry of hexes and swinging fists What followed could only be described as a pure, unadulterated cat fight that took several teachers to break up. When the girls were pulled apart, Simone was covered in substantially more scrapes and bruises as well as a set of walrus tusks courtesy of Cynthia, but had managed to come away with a large chunk of Cynthia's hair, which she refused to part with and hid thereafter.

Assuming herself the victor of the fight, Cynthia and her friends toted this win quite proudly, renewing her taunting and snide comments with glee. However, that triumph was short lived and whatever mirth she felt died when one morning at breakfast, Simone strode into the Great Hall wearing the now braided golden locks around her head like a crown. The smile on her face was described by those who saw it as 'sinister'. For the next few weeks, Simone spent much of her time in any shared spaces with Cynthia staring at her, or rather her hair, as though considering how the rest of it would look if ripped off and donned on her own head.

It came as no surprised to anyone when upon returning from Christmas break, Cynthia's friends were heard mentioning that Cynthia had transferred to Beaxbatons for 'personal reasons'.

From that day forward, Simone carried with her a reputation for her talents in intimidation and a sadism that was not to be invoked, earning her the respect of Sytherin house and the wary side eyes of the rest of the school. Since then, though, Simone never made a move against anyone, preferring to sit in the shadows, a silent observer whose very presence left many on their toes. It was her lack of action that kept people tense.

Aside from an odd bunch of Ravenclaws that always studied with her, everyone kept their distance, lest they gain her unfavorable...attentions.

 

And now she stood before Potter and his friends, fire blazing in her eyes.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Serapeum?" Sirius asked angrily, helping James to his feet.

"You, if you must know," Simone replied, tucking her wand away, "I've had about enough of this entire disgusting thing. And I'm not just talking about right here and now. You, your personality, the way you act, the fact that you're allowed to wander the halls without a leash, all of this," she gestured to James and Sirius in turn, "is frankly repulsive."

"This isn't any of your business," James snapped.

"Oh I think it is," Simone said, "It's my business because it is about time someone around here did the right thing instead of hiding away like a coward," she spared a glance towards Lupin, "so wrapped up in trying to be 'liked' that they forgo any sense of common decency, or a _hypocrite_!—" she yelled that out over her shoulder towards Lily and her friends, "who only acts when its convenient for them and gives up on being a good person the second their feelings get hurt. Even when people act like they have an conscience here they still fail at doing the right thing. What, cruelty suddenly is okay if you're pissed off at the victim?” she asked in a babying voice. She gave a gaping, red faced Lily a pleasant little smile.

 "And you," Simone turned to Peter, "Grow a fucking spine and while your at it, grow up. We all know that if you weren't kissing these two on the bum you'd be at the bottom of the food chain and let me just say you'd make an easy target for your appearance alone, not even factoring in your overall incompetence. It's pathetic to become a bully just to avoid being the victim."

"You leave Peter alone," James demanded.

"Oh, so if I take a cheap shot at Peter it's wrong, but I suppose this," she waved a hand over at Snape, being reluctantly helped to his feet by a nervous looking girl, "is all in good fun?"

"That's different," James insisted, "Snape has it coming."

"For what exactly? Oh that's right," Simone cocked her head to the side, fingers drumming her chin in mock thought, "Because he exist. That's what you said, right? Funny, you know who else goes after people simply for existing? You're probably read about them in the paper recently, they're giving Britain quite a scare.

"Don't you dare compare us to them," Sirius growled.

Simone smirked. "What, Death Eaters? Why not, Black? Last time I check, going out of one's way to see others suffer and finding enjoyment in it does not a hero make. You certainly seem to enjoy cruelty as much as You-Know-Who's little group. Just like the rest of your family."

Sirius marched up to Simone. "I am nothing like my family," he hissed, "I'm not dark like them. I'm trying to put dark wizards like them in their place. Starting with slimy snakes like Snape."

Simone took a step closer herself, standing nearly nose to nose with Black, "I don't give a damn what your piss poor reasoning is. I don't care what you think someone is, or what you think they will become. All I need to consider is the facts. And the fact here is this: you enjoy seeing Snape humiliated. You like seeing him suffer, seeing him hurt," her voice was like velvet, but it carried words as sharp as razor wire, "It makes you gleefully happy. You get off on it. That shows the sort of sick, twisted person you are. And that, Black, is why you are exactly like the family you claim to hate. Hurting others for a laugh; your mother would be proud if she knew."

With a snarl, Sirius whipped his wand out. "Take that back1" he roared, pointing his wand menacingly in Simone's face."

Simone didn't flinch. "Drawing your wand on an unarmed person, Black?" she asked, "Really just proving my point here. Why don't you put the wand down before you regret it?"

"Do as she says," a new voice demanded. The group Simone had been studying with had join the fray; three Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff. Each had their wands out. Even the timid girl by Snape had drawn hers, a fierce glint hidden emerging through the worry in her eyes.

James regarded the group carefully. It wasn't really four on one anymore. The crowd of his peers still appeared more interested in gawking than coming to his defense and he didn't like how little the odds were in his favor now. "Sirius," he began, "Let's just back off. You can't get so work up about this. Who cares what some Slytherin thinks?"

"You should care," Simone said, still unflinchingly staring down the end of Sirius' wand, "Because if the Slytherin is the one on the side _against_ cruelty, what side does that put you on?"

"You talk about cruelty and yet you blew up a book in my face," James pointed out.

Simone rolled her eyes and examined her perfectly manicured nails, conveying just how tiring she found any form of conversation with the Gryffindor, "Sort of pales in comparison to the things you do, don't you think?"

"Oh so that makes what you did okay?" James asked angrily.

Simone shrugged, "Not really. But it doesn't make my actions any worst than yours either. You're just a _Potter_ calling the kettle black."

Potter fixed her with his best glare, "As if I'm the bad guy here. Snivellus is a Slytherin; just another slimy, greasy snake and a Death Eater in training. If anything I'm giving him no more than he deserves."

A few people from the crowd nodded, some murmuring in agreement.

Simone silenced the onlookers with a single glance. "Last time I checked," she began, "It was innocent until proven guilty. Its in our Ministry's laws; the very laws the Aurors—the "good guys" you aspired to be—follow so closely. Since when does attacking a person for looking suspicious equal anything other than discrimination?"

"What is going on here?!"

Professor McGonagall came charging down the hill towards the hostile gathering.

"Of course," Simone drawled, "the second a Slytherin had the upper hand on Gryffindor's precious favorites, one of you _hypocrite_ _prefects_ —," she loudly empathized that little insult, "finally decide to go running to a teacher. How nice."

Remus sunk lower behind his book and even from a distance, it appeared as if Lily's ears were turning as red as her hair.

McGonagall was in full disciplinarian mode by the time she got to Simone and Potter, "What is the meaning of this? I was pulled from overseeing an exam to find fifth years—a few of my own, might I add—fighting like children. This is hardly the appropriate behavior for young adults. Now I demand an explanation this instance!"

James began his spiel before anyone else could say a thing, "It's not what it looks like, Professor. We were only playing around when these two," he gestured to Simone and Severus, "butted in and tried to start something with us."

Sirius jumped in enthusiastically, "That's right, Professor. Snape is always causing trouble for us and it looks like Serapeum has decided to take a page out of his book and come at us too."

Simone rolled her eyes again, this time so dramatically and hard that no one would have been surprised to see them rolled out of the girl's head.

McGonagall cocked an eyebrow at James, "Mr. Potter, I assure you that I am no fool. If you expect me to believe you and your friends didn't have a hand in this dispute at all then prepare to be sorely disappointed. Now how about someone try telling me the truth this time?"

"Potter and his cronies were just doing what they do best, Professor," Simone was all too glad to explain, "harassing someone two on one when they have their guard down, purely for kicks and giggles."

"That's not true!" James insisted.

"Yeah, she's lying," Peter simpered. It didn't go without notice that the portly young lad was trying to use James and Sirius as shields while he antagonized Simone; just in case she decided to direct her attentions to him.

Simone crossed her arms and looked away, shaking her head. The cowardly little worm wasn't even worthy of a response in her book.

McGonagall sighed. "Nevermind," she said in frustration, "The Headmaster will sort this out. Now, up to his office with the lot of you."

Simone stepped away from McGonagall, "With all do respect, Professor, it would be in Severus' best interest if he was looked over by Madam Pomfrey first. He did basically get dropped on his head." Simone moved to heft one of Snape's arms over her shoulder, silencing any protest he may have made with a harsh, stern glare.

"Thea and I will escort him and proceed to the Headmaster's office post haste," Simone continued as her shy friend came to gently place a guiding hand on Snape's other arm.

McGonagall mulled over the request, "I'm not sure..."

"I'll go with them if it makes you feel better, Professor," Offered a Hufflepuff prefect, one of the few prefects to have missed most of the fight and only just arrived on the scene.

"Well I suppose if a Prefect accompanies them, then it is alright," McGonagall relented before turning back to Simone, "Miss Serapeum, I suppose I cannot fault you for being concerned for a classmate's well being. Now off you go, and no funny business."

"It's my pleasure, Professor McGonagall," Simone replied politely, "After all, _someone_ should care about him."

By the lake, Lily kept her back to Simone, but her posture was rigid.

McGonagall appeared not to have noticed the implications of Simone's words or if she did she choose not to touch upon them in order to keep the whole debacle from continuing any longer, "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I trust the pair of you should know the way to the Headmaster's office by heart at this rate? Off with you."

James and Sirius headed up the hill towards the castle with their professor, giving their 'fans' some charming smiles as they went.

Trailing behind them at a more sedate pace, Simone all but dragged a stubborn Snape off the grounds with minimal help from Thea, the Hufflepuff prefect following them.

As they passed Remus, Simone paused. Without looking at him, she hissed in a low tone, "If you're so afraid your friends will abandon you if you don't let them get away with everything, then they're not very good friends, are they you coward?"

With that, Simone resumed dragging Snape inside, leaving behind her a few choice people very conflicted, and perhaps a little ashamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's chapter one down! I hope this is off to a good start.
> 
> Just want to let everyone know that if Jilly is your OTP, you'll probably be sorely disappointed. Sorry :(
> 
> I will be honest, I am not a fan of James Potter. The fact that his own friends admit he continued to hex Snape behind Lily's back to pretend he had changed means he won her heart under false pretenses. His lack of concern for her in school goes against all claims of him being a good person; he seemed to not care at all how harming her friend may harm her. Also, his refusal to take no for an answer and even telling her he would only stop attacking Snape if she dated him is behavior that in today's age would have surely gotten him a restraining order. 15 is old enough to respect a girl's choice to say no and to know better than to emotionally manipulate her or threaten her friends to make her say yes.
> 
> That being said, I will NOT be trashing him completely. He's flawed and a jerk with some worrisome tendencies, but it is clear he has a heart at least when it comes to his friends. So he deserves to not be destroyed character-wise. Instead I wish to give him a chance to do the maturing he clearly never did in canon.
> 
> Please do not spam me with hate reviews if you are a James fan/snape hater. If it isn't criticism on how to improve my writing, then the negativity you bring isn't welcome. The only good "It sucks" is a "it sucks and here's how to fix it".
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated. Reviews feed the plot bunny


	2. Pride and Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape is given some harsh words to think over and Simone gives Dumbledore a piece of her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! I'm back with the second chapter.
> 
> First of all, I would like to thank all my wonderful reviewers and those who have favorited my story. You are all so great and truly make me look forward to writing.
> 
> There are no real warnings for this chapter, so enjoy
> 
> It goes without saying that I do not own Harry Potter or its characters.

There weren't too many people cooped up inside on such a beautiful day, but any remaining stragglers in the halls made some rather hasty exits for the girl marching a petulant boy through the halls. It could have been due to the furious expression on the boy's face or fierce determined one on the girl's. It could have been the Slytherin colors they wore that instantly made people wary. Or it very well could be that no one wanted to mess with Simone when she was on a war path.

"I don't remember asking for your help," Severus said angrily, doing his best to drag his feet. Digging his heels into the stone floor as he was jerked along, he looked very much like a toddler being pulled off the playground by their mother.

Simone gave a humorless laugh, "Yes I suppose that with your little Prince Jr. about to be exposed to nearly everyone in school, you truly had things under control out there, didn't you?" She turned to look at the prefect accompanying them.

"Thank you so much for your assistance, Mr...?" Simone trailed off.

"Ambrosious," the Hufflepuff replied.

Simone nodded, "Ambrosious, thank you for your help, but we are more than capable of going the rest of the way ourselves. I wish to discuss some things privately with my friend here," she patted Snape's arm, "As it is, you probably have some very important exams to study for and I don't wish to keep you from that."

Ambrosious looked unsure, "Well..."

Simone gave him a gentle push on the shoulder with her free hand, turning him back the way he came, "If anyone questions you, you have my full permission to lie and say you were threatened. I'm already in trouble, so it will hardly make a difference."

"Okay," the Hufflepuff finally agreed, "But don't go causing any trouble once I'm gone, or they'll have my head for it."

"Understood, thank you," Simone gave the boy her most charming smile and sent him on his way.

Simone turned her attention back to Snape, who was still in a snit.

"I could have handle myself out there!" Severus snapped.

"Sure, right after you wandlessly defeated Potter and his goons," Simone replied sarcastically.

"For your information I am already on my way to mastering several wandless techniques. Regardless, I hardly see how it was any of your business to begin with," Severus bit out.

"Well they were being so mean," Thea said suddenly, reminding the other two of her presence.

Simone graced Thea with a kind smile, "Yes they were, but more importantly, it's about time someone did the right thing."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "The right thing? How moral of you."

Simone rolled her eyes, "I mean, we're supposed to stick together. This 'house pride' may be the stupidest idea to ever implement in a school—seriously, how do you expect us to get along with such rivalry—but if our Hogwarts house is to be our family, then we should act like it. You shouldn't have to deal with everything alone while those harming you keep being called mere "pranksters" instead of the bastards they are."

A passing ghost gasped loudly at Simone's crass language.

Simone sniffed, "Oh stop being so sensitive, you're dead! Lighten up a little."

The ghost frowned, insulted, and floated away in a huff.

Simone watched the ghost leave before continuing, "As I was saying, you need someone on your side because no one deserves to be alone."

"I assure you, I do not need anymore friends," Severus said curtly.

"Because your current selection of friends is so wonderful. I mean just look at how Mulciber and Avery came to help you today. Oh wait, they didn't." Simone said in return.

Snape glared venomously at her.

Simone was not deterred, "Face it, Snape, your choice of acquaintances can't even be called friends. As it is, the only true so called friend you had just walked out on you. Well, you sort of heped show her the door, but you see my point."

At the mention of Lily, Severus' glare melted away, quickly replaced by guilt. He hadn't meant to hurt her.

"So what you said back there, it just slipped out?" Simone asked quietly.

"I didn't mean it," Severus offered weakly.

Simone shook her head, unimpressed, "Doesn't matter. You shouldn't have said it. Never bite the hand that feeds you. Especially when you hardly get anyone worried over you."

"...she smiled," Severus said softly, "back there, I know she did."

"I know," Simone agreed, "And trust me that makes her all kinds of awful in my book but the point still stands: no matter how hurt you were you shouldn't have tried to hurt someone worse. If you know how much it hurts to feel like this, then you shouldn't be willing to subject others to the same. It makes you no better than those gits out there."

"Big talk for someone who once drove a girl to leave the school entirely," Severus pointed out.

Simone kept her eyes fixed ahead of her, "...I know. It's not something I'm proud of. Not anymore."

"Oh?" Snape inquired.

"Quite," Simone said, "Trust me when I say one should never strive to surpass their bullies, lest they become that which they loathed most...but this isn't about me. It's about you and the crowd you fell in with."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus asked tersely.

"It means you are going down a pretty dark path and trust me it is the last thing you want to do," Simone said simply, "Don't you think it a bad sign that words like that are just resting on the tip of your tongue, waiting to come out? Do you really think of her that way?"

"No!" Severus insisted, "Never her."

"But you think it about other muggleborns?" Simone asked, "That's a lot of hatred to direct at people you hardly know. More than half our school's population who you haven't said more than two words to if that and they've all managed to earn your hate."

"I didn't say I hate them," Severus said, "They're nothing to me, good or bad. I just...if I follow the right people then I can build a future for myself. I'll get out of this hell hole and make a name for myself. Then everyone will see I'm worth something."

"So you don't believe all this pure blood biased but you'll follow it if it gets you what you want," Simone deadpanned, "How nice."

"It's not like that!" Severus growled, "Look, you already know my mother's surname apparently. Prince. That's not my last name though is it? Snape isn't a wizarding name. I'm just a halfblood. Dumbledore and the Ministry can claim equality all they want but we all know the only peope that ever get anywhere are the ones who have connections or wealth. Even if I was pureblood, being born in the slums would mean I would stay in the slums."

"Purebloods don't need to care about grades or academics," Snape continued morosely, "Their futures are assured as long as the inheritance is big enough. Halfbloods and Muggleborns rely on their test scores because the better the do, the higher a chance of them getting a decent living out of it will be. But my grades mean nothing unless someone notices them enough to offer me an apprenticeship. That's how it works; the teachers see your hard work and get you in touch with the people who will make your future happen. No one is looking at the bottom tier of the Slytherin pecking order, though. Kindness and success like that is reserved for the halfblood Hufflepuffs and the muggleborn Gryffindors; the ones with Heads who will actually look out for them. What's Slughorn doing for people like me? I'm a nobody with nothing and he sees nothing in his favor from supporting me."

"That hardly excuses aligning yourself with people who want to make life for halfbloods like you that much harder. If you think making something of yourself is hard now, just wait until they start rallying for laws against the employment of halfbloods and muggleborns," Simone argued, "Sure, maybe you have it tough now, but that's because you had the misfortune of having a bastard for a father, and a failure for a head of house. Not to mention your prickly personality and being the biggest target of Potter, one of Dumbeldores favorites; you had the cards stacked against you from the get go. But that's not the norm. However, it will be if You-Know-Who succeeds. Do you honestly think your 'friends' will give you what you want?"

"What are you getting at, Serapeum?" Severus asked, a note of warning in his voice.

"Think about it," Simone pressed, "They're using you. They've always been using you. They copy your notes, right? You do their homework? You do all the work and they get credit and grades for things they did not earn. Do you think that is going to change? Would they really let the halfblood succeed while they're too stupid to even have below average intelligence between the two of them? They may have wealth to fall back on, but that's not what their after anymore is it? They want power, and I doubt they are going to be willing to split that power with some poverty-stricken halfblood when they can take it all for themselves."

Severus was silent.

"Hate will never make you happy, Snape. And it won't be the answer to your problems. You'll only lose what's important to you along the way and trust me, nothing will ever replace what you could lose. You need to follow what your heart feels is right and not what your head says is most profitable. Wealth and glory won't make you any less miserable." Simone said solemnly.

"What's makes you such an expert on this matter?" Severus sneered.

"I have excellent sources," was Simone's vague response, "Thea, would you be a dear and get the door for us?"

"Yes, Sim," Thea let go of Snape's arm and rushed over to open the Hospital wing doors.

Madam Pomfrey came bustling over as they entered, "Mr. Snape, what has happened to you now?!"

"Take a wild guess," Severus mumbled.

Madam Pomfrey's eyes narrowed disapprovingly, "I see, again, hm? Well get on the bed, lets take a look at you."

Sitting down on a bed, Snape attempted to shoo Simone and Thea off with a well practiced sneer, but it had zero affect.

"We don't leave until I say we do, Snape," Simone said firmly.

Behind her, Thea nodded merrily.

"Now," Madam Pomfrey began as she wandered over with a well worn chart with Snape's name on it, "Let's have a look, shall we?"

Running her wand up and down Severus' body, she did a thorough scan, her eyes narrowing further. "A few cuts and scrapes, nothing you aren't used to. You do have a slight sprain on your right wrist and bruising on you back, did you fall over at an odd angle?"

"More like had a rough landing," Simone supplied helpfully.

"Thank you, Ms. Serapeum, you may go now," Pomfrey said distractedly, looking over her notes, "I'll be back with some salve. You just wait right here, Mr. Snape. I better not find you sneaking out." She walked back towards her office, muttering to herself about things "going too far" and " _boys will be boys_ my foot!"

Simone waited until Pomfrey was out of earshot, "Listen, try and deny it all you want but there is only one thing—or should I say one person—who truly matters to you and you can't keep her and take the path you're aiming for. You know you can't. Just food for thought."

"What would you have me do? It's too late now," Snape said.

Simone shrugged, "It's only too late if you never try. For starters, try apologizing; sooner rather than later if I was you. Truthfully I can't figure out what you see in that girl, but if she is your sole reason for hesitating on joining you know who, I advise you hang on to her. She's the candle in your darness, I suppose; don't lose that. Second, really evaluate what it is you truly want in life. Though I'm loath to admit it, you're a brilliant wizard, Snape; you can get places without selling out to a bunch of bigots."

Severus said nothing.

"Just think on it," Simone said, "And believe me, we're not done with this discussion. You should never have said what you said. I'd wash your mouth out with soap, but I'm afraid someone just nearly killed you doing that out by the Lake."

Snape's glare return threefold.

Simone remained unimpressed, "Touchy subject, right? Being treated like that must have been awful for you, so I would expect you of all people to understand what it feels like to be hurt by others. You should have known better."

"I wasn't thinking," Snape mumbled.

Simone rolled her eyes, "That's hardly an excuse. Just try and give what I've said some real thought. Let's go, Thea."

"Yes Sim," Thea gave Snape's arm a friendly squeeze and waved as she followed Simone out the door, leaving Severus to his thoughts.

"We're going to the Headmaster's office now, right Sim?" Thea asked nervously, "He's not going to be happy with you."

"That he isn't," Simone agreed, "But I can hardly say I care what he thinks. It's his fault our housemates go down such bad roads anyway; if he cared half as much as he pretends he does, he'd had warn far more people off You-Know-Who's path by now. Instead we are falling through the cracks. But enough about him. It hardly concerns you anyway; _you're_ not coming with me."

Thea frowned, "I'm not?"

Simone shook her head, "No. As far as I am concerned, you weren't involved. I got myself into this, you were merely watching out for my well being from the sidelines. That doesn't make you a part of this."

"The Headmaster will hardly see it that way," Thea stammered worriedly.

"I don't care. He doesn't get to distort this however he sees fit. It doesn't change facts. Speaking of which, I need to take care of something." Simone looked around searchingly.

Thea cocked her head curiously, "Take care of what, Sim?"

Approaching a broom closet, Simone opened the door and gestured Thea inside, "Get in," was her simple command.

Thea went in without question, though she certainly had a few she would like to ask.

" _Lumos_ ," Simone's wand tip sparked to life, illuminating the dark, crowded space.

"What are we doing in here, Simone?" Thea asked.

"Getting a contingency plan," Simone said smugly, "Minks!"

A loud pop echoed off the walls and a small creature stood before them, clothed in a pristine satin pillowcase with a jeweled curtain sash around the middle.

"What can Minks be doing for the little Missus?" the house elf asked eagerly, blinking it's large golf ball sized eyes at Simone.

Crouching down to eye level with the elf, Simone's smug smirk got impossibly wider, "I need you to do something for me..."

{page break}

"They're expecting me," Simone said haughtily as she stormed towards the stone Gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office, barely pausing in her steps to let the enchanted statue spring out of the way in time.

McGonagall was already waiting in the office for her, along with Potter and Black who were trying, and failing miserably, to look contrite and shamed-faced when it was clear they fully expected to escape Scott-free as usual.

"Ah, Miss Serapeum," Dumbledore said merrily as Simone entered, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't be joining us."

"Sorry I wasn't here sooner, but I find no one is eager to be punished," Simone said briskly as she sat down besides Potter and Black, "That's like showing up early for my own execution."

McGonagall tutted disapprovingly at Simone's tone.

Simone refrained from rolling her eyes, she at least _liked_ McGonagall. "I was escorting Severus to the infirmary," she clarified.

"Ah yes, how is Mr. Snape?" Dumbledore asked.

Simone crossed her arms, "Are you asking out of concern or to ascertain when he will be well enough to serve detention for whatever skewed version of events these two have given you?" Simone jerked her thumb at the pair of boys besides her.

"Hey!" James cried.

"Miss Serapeum," McGonagall scolded, "I do not believe that tone is necessary. There isn't a professor in this school who doesn't care about the students' well being."

"Then I imagine this should be happening a lot less," Simone volleyed back, "How many times does this makes in a year alone? More than forty; that's at least four incidences a month. And that's only counting the ones that get reported. What about the times when a teacher isn't called? The number of times they've gone after Snape when their friends are covering their backs is enormous."

"There incidents do seem to be increasing rather than lowering, Albus," McGonagall added.

Simone gestured to the deputy headmistress approvingly, "There, you see? They're just going after him more and more."

"That's not true, headmaster," James interjected, "Snape starts it, I swear. Besides, he gives as good as he gets."

"So how did he instigate it today, Potter?" Simone asked, "By breathing? And while we're at it, if you mean to tell me that Snape all on his own is getting you back just as harshly as the two of you combined give him, then he's a far better duelist than I realized. Is that why you never go after him one-on-one? Afraid you'll lose?"

Sirius looked livid, "Why you—"

"That is quite enough," Dumbledore said calmly, "We're here to handle this civilly if I recall. Now Miss Serapeum, while your concern for Mr. Snape's well being is very noble, you did cast a spell at Mr. Potter that could have harmed him."

"I was defending a housemate. Last I checked self defense was an acceptable use of wands in school, as covered by the Ministry approved school charter," Simone said pointedly.

"But not excessive force," Dumbledore stated, "And Mr. Snape may not have instigated things, but he did use an unknown spell that could have caused serious harm. The nature of the spell seems to be far more dangerous in intent than the harmless spells Mr. Potter and Mr. Black were using."

James smirked triumphantly, turning his cheek towards Simone to ensure she saw the gash on his face.

"Furthermore, such spells as being hung upside down might be found amusing by the recipient if they posses good humor, whereas there appears to be no innocent intention behind the spell Mr. Snape used," Dumbledore continued.

Simone huffed, "It can be used to cutting fabric for sewing, or shredding paperwork if tuned properly, I bet. Besides, if Potter's injury was nearly as bad as he has clearly made it out to be, then he would have rushed to Madam Pomfrey instead of sitting here sipping tea and sucking on lemon drops as leisurely as you please," Simone pointed out.

James coughed and schooled his features.

Simone sighed, "Look, the point is this: Potter and Black are bullies. They belittle Snape for his appearance, his poverty, his intelligence and the house crest on his robes. That's discrimination; there's nothing lighthearted or harmless about it. The two privileged purebloods are picking on those they view their lessers. The Privileged attacking the disadvantaged, sound familiar? Now how is that any different to what we're reading about in the prophet right now about the treatment of muggleborn's by You-Know-Who's followers?"

"Stop comparing us to them!" Sirius growled.

"We're nothing like those lowlifes!" James agreed.

"Then stop acting like them!" Simone pushed on relentlessly, "Headmaster, please see reason. Bullying has an impact; words leave marks. Not only that but words and actions can influence us, especially when we're young. Humiliation does terrible things to a person's emotional state; it maes them bitter and only further isolates them."

"Now I'm sure that Mr. Potter and Mr. Black do not mean any harm by their actions," Dumbledore suggested, "They are young. The young do many things without understanding the consequences."

"You don't need to understand something to hurt somebody with it," Simone argued, "Bullying is harmful. It's degrading, dehumanizing. There's a reasons humiliation tactics are used in some of the worst interrogation techniques in various wars; to make a person feel less like a person and more worthless. So why keep dismissing it as "pranks" when we both know there is nothing innocent about it?"

"It seems this matters a great deal to you, Miss Serapeum," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling, "I wasn't aware you and Mr. Snape were even friends."

"We hardly know each other," Simone replied, "but that doesn't change that what he goes through is wrong and unfair. It changes people, Headmaster. What happens when these two finally go too far and he breaks? Them being boys instead of adults would make hardly a difference if the damage they do to Snape is permanent. Boys are quite capable of taking things too far; they're capable of torture."

A strange expression passed over Dumbledore's face at that moment. His bright blue eyes seemed to dim, lost in reminiscence. As quick as it appeared it was gone, replaced by the ever present twinkle he so often bestowed upon his students.

"There is a level of wisdom in your words, Miss Serapeum." Dumbledore said finally, "You're willingness to protect the less fortunate is certainly inspiring. I dare say I have never seen someone speak so passionately on behalf of a mere acquaintance."

Simone smiled, relief filling her face.

Dumbledore wasn't finished though, "Be that as it may Mr. Snape did use an unknown spell, which is not authorized and there must be consequences."

Simone did roll her eyes this time, "I figured you would say that."

Dumbledore chuckled, "If I am to treat this fairly, then surely you can see why I cannot condoned the testing of unknown spells on the rest of the student body. He also used a word which was inexcusable on school grounds or anywhere in polite society. Surely he needs to face repercussions for that."

"Now that I do agree on," Simone, "I assume there is also the matter of my punishment?"

Dumbledore nodded, still smiling; he must have thought things were going smoothly, "I believe you will understand if I find detention for the remaining few days left of term to be amendable for use of a strong spell against a fellow student as well as destroying a student's property?"

"My friend pretty much said I could blow it up, but if that's what you insist on," Simone agreed.

"Wonderful. I believe Madam Pomfrey has been in need of help cleaning the hospital wing recently. The House elves get rather busy with the end of the year cleaning so I'm sure some extra help would be much needed," Dumbledore said.

Simone nodded, but deep down she was suspicious. Dumbledore was giving her a rather light sentence. She had expected detention with Filch for her actions. What could she have said that would make her sentence _lighter_?

Simone inwardly shrugged, best to not look a gift horse in the mouth, "Fine, now if that is all, I have another exam to prepare for," she made to stand.

"Hey what about her friends? Aren't they going to be punished?" James asked.

"Yeah, they were in on this too! What about that quiet girl Simone is always hanging around with?" Sirius added.

"Thea has nothing to do with this," Simone said plainly, though a sharp edge had entered her voice, "Neither do any of the others."

"Oh? From what I understand of the tale Mr. Black and Mr. Potter told me before you arrived, your friends drew their wands on them as well," Dumbledore said.

Simone shook her head, exasperated, "Only in defense of me when Black threatened to hex me. My wand was already put away at that point and they were concerned for my safety. That's not a punishable offense and they didn't use any magic in the end, anyway. I told you; Black and Potter's version of events is skewed. Luckily I thought this would happen and planned ahead." She reached into her schoolbag and withdrew a vial.

Dumbledore examined the vial closely, intrigued, "A memory, Miss Serapeum?"

James and Sirius stared at the vial in dawning realization.

"My own," Simone elaborated, "I may have no skill in the mind arts, but my mother did teach me how to extract a memory. Or at the very least, make it easier for someone else to extract it. I had my house elf do it. You remember Minks, yes? You gave me permission for her to be called to the school."

"Yes, if I recall, it was intended for her to be called only at the beginning and end of every school year and holiday break," Dumbledore said, regarding Simone in amusement over the rim of his glasses.

"I guess it was never specified. You can't blame a girl for exploiting a loophole," Simone replied airily.

Dumbledore looked close to smiling, "I suppose not."

"Anyway I took the liberty of sending a vial of these memories to my father. I wouldn't want him thinking that I was doing anything truly awful in school, now would I?" Simone continued.

"So your parents have evidence of this event, is that what you're implying Miss Serapeum?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes still twinkling.

"I suppose you could put it that way. Regardless, I have all you need to know of the incident inside this vial and I believe it will do a fine job in showing you just how things occurred, as well as how harmful—not harmless—Potter and Black's actions are," Simone tapped the vial thoughtfully, "with this I hope a fair punishment for these two can be meted out?"

Potter and Black glared hatefully at Simone.

"After all," Simone continued, "I would think it prudent to make an example of these two in order to ensure no one thinks Gryffindor allows such cowardly acts as to attacked a fellow student when their guard is down. Two-on-one, no less. That certainly isn't the behavior befitting of a proper Gryffindor."

"It certainly isn't," McGonagall interjected, "Rest assured this is not the sort of behavior I teach my students. This tomfoolery has gone on long enough. Why, Professors Sprout and Flitwick rarely deal with such troubles from the students in their houses; I will not tolerate it in my own!"

Simone bit back a smile, happy to see McGongall had taken the bait. If Dumbledore was being too light on punishment with the boys, McGonagall wouldn't.

"But Professor," James protested.

McGonagall cut him off, "No buts, Mr. Potter. You know quite well how I feel about fighting. I believe Mr. Filch has some trophies in the trophy room that need polishing."

James blanched, "But—"

"Without magic," McGonagall added.

"Well then, it would seem everything has been sorted out," Dumbledore said merrily, putting his hands together, "would anyone care for a pecan sandie?" He gestured to a plate of sweets by his elbow.

Simone shook her head, taking the boys' aghast faces as her cue to leave, "Thank you, but I really should be going. I would like to get my studying down before my detentions this week." She headed for the door but paused as she reached it. "If I may say something, Headmaster."

"Miss Serapeum?" Dumbledore prompted, regarding Simone with a thoughtful eye.

Simone hesitated, "These years were suppose to be some of the best of our lives. We expect fun, we expect friends and new beginnings We all come here being told Hogwarts is going to help shape who we are and what we will become. But for Slytherins apparently everyone else already decided what we will become. Everyone judges us the second we are sorted. The acts of a single madman were enough to condemn each and every Slytherin thereon from the moment we step foot into this school. We were eleven! Mere children and even you judged us before you ever knew us. People see us as one thing and one thing only; a lost cause. Not even Professor Slughorn invests in his snakes unless he sees something he can get out of them."

"Miss Serapeum," Dumbledore interrupted, "I assure you it is no teacher's intention—,"

Simone cut him off, "I'm not finished. Is it really any wonder why some Slytherins make the wrong choices? I mean, no one else believes in us or sees any more to us than their own preconceptions, so why bother to be anything else? If it means spending the rest of your life with people assuming the good in you is all just an act, that you are just biding your time before you 'go dark', then what is the point of trying to prove others wrong?"

Sirius snorted, arms crossed over his chest while James rolled his eyes.

"There isn't much to prove in the lot of them," Sirius muttered.

"Do you know what it is like to have no one to turn to?" Simone continued, ignoring the boys, "The people that should guide you down the right path have already written you off and turned a blind eye to others' judgment, to the harassment. I'd imagine a madmen spewing promises would begin to sound like a safe haven. Now I couldn't care less about the insanity brewing just outside these hallowed halls, but for some of my classmates, I imagine they feel pretty lost and torn and the one offering to give them some comfort may be bad, but his empty words must be terribly tempting when you have nothing else. After all, he's the one promising them the only thing they probably ever wanted."

"And what is that, Miss Serapeum?" Dumbledore asked.

Simone's eyes softened, a hint of sadness in them, "A chance; acceptance."

Seeing nothing left to be said, Simone turned on her heel and left.

"One more thing," Simone's voice called back up the stairs, "Lupin is doing a terrible job as a prefect and I do believe his friends are taking advantage of his spinelessness. Food for thought."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand that's it for this chapter. Hope you're all still hanging with me here.
> 
> So this chapter touched upon the issue of bullying and why it is problematic at its root. While there wasn't much research yet done on the psychological impacts of verbal and emotional abuse during the seventies, I feel that even back then there must have been at least a few level headed people who could see why constantly treating someone like they are worthless would have a devastating effect on someone. Like Simone pointed out, humiliation is used in times of war and (though not mentioned here) sexual assault as a means of dehumanizing and demeaning a person, so why should it be acceptable when the one doing the humiliating is a teenager or the humiliation is bullying?
> 
> I'm trying to keep Dumbledore in character. In truth I felt he was sort of the WORST adult in the series with his manipulation. I mean he apparently knew everything going on in the school but did nothing because it was 'necessary' for his plans. Do you honestly expect me to believe he helped Lupin to attend school for any other reason than to have someone loyal and indebted to him who could enter Werewolf packs to try and recruit them for the order? And Hagrid! Dumbledore gives him a job and a home, but surely he knew about moaning Myrtle and how asking her about her death would have revealed it wasn't a spider that killed her. But if he had proved Hagrid's innocence and the man got to keep his wand, he wouldn't be grateful to Dumbledore for his 'generosity' and been a willing Order Member who could try and recruit giants. So of course Dumbledore would let Sirius get away with Murder at age 15. A pureblood who was desperate to rebel against his dark family makes an excellent soldier and still stands a chance at a hefty inheritance to fund the order. Snape was a future Death Eater and dirt poor so of course his life had little value to Dumbledore, hence why he made no attempts at fairness that night.
> 
> So yeah, I am not a huge Dumbledore fan. I appreciate his work for the greater good but not how he went about it and how he weighed people's lives by how much that life was worth to him. Here, I tried to keep him in character to that Headmaster who lets Gryffindor's get away with so much, but I want to give him room to grow and be reasoned with.
> 
> About the whole memory thing. House Elves seem capable of some form or imitation of nearly all the magic wizards can do, so it is not out of the realm off possibility that one could withdrawn a memory from a willing person. I doubt they could read minds like wizards, but withdrawn one memory at the forefront of a willing participant's mind seems easy by comparison. So that's my bullshit excuse. Simone is a Slytherin so of course she wouldn't go see Dumbledore unprepared.
> 
> Tune in next time!
> 
> Read and Review!


	3. Serendipitous Findings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus is taken into Simone's fold and Thea makes an unpleasant discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter.
> 
> Another big thank you to my faithful readers for taking the time to read this and review it. It really means a lot to me.
> 
> Now, this chapter will deal with fleshing out a few characters and showing their own interpretations and perspectives. While I am glad people have been happy with my input on Lily so far, keep in mind that from her own perspective, she was hurt by someone she trusted, so she isn't really considering how any of her own actions made her look. The same goes for Snape. As this story is to high light some of the key factors in his life that had a severe impact in what he came to be, I wish to unravel his reasoning for his poor choices. As a survivor of many unfortunate abuse incidences, I can greatly relate to the decisions he made to try and escape it. I see Snape actions similar to teenagers who deal with depression via hurting themselves or doing drugs, in that it is all self destructive. There is nothing stable or truly rational about Snape, a halfblood with no money, joining the death eaters (made up of mostly wealthy purebloods) and intending to somehow keep Lily in his life. That's no different than someone cutting or abusing substances in my opinion; you hear nonstop about the dangers of it, how bad it is for you, but you cling to it anyway because it has given you brief reprieve from a very difficult time in your life and you do not wish to think about the future consequences in the here and now. That's how I see Snape.
> 
> Blah, blah, blah, I do not own.

* * *

"Well that was a _lovely_ experience," Simone drawled sarcastically, wandering back from her first detentions in the hospital wing, "Really I was hoping to clean something a little less disgusting than a bedpan if I'm being honest."

"Most of them had already been lightly cleaned with a charm, Sim," Thea pointed out, scurrying to catch up with Simone's brisk stride, "And you got to wear gloves for scrubbing them. You got off easy considering what Filch would have had you do."

Simone hummed her ascent, "Yes, well I'm not sure Dumbledore is aware of how much Pomfrey likes me or else he'd hardly consider working with her to be a punishment. At least you were just in charge of organizing the salve cabinets." Simone gave Thea a sideways glance, "You know you didn't have to volunteer to clean in there just to keep me company. I made sure you wouldn't serve detention."

Thea smiled, her eyes crinkling at the sides in a manner that had endeared her to many of her friends, "I just thought you would prefer to have someone to talk to while you do all that work. Besides, it isn't as fun in the dorm without you."

"I do not doubt that; very few have my sparkling personality and incorrigible charms," Simone replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder dramatically.

Thea giggled, "So care to tell me why we are taking the long way back to the dungeons? We're several floors off."

"Don't think of it as the long way; think of it as...the scenic route," Simone offered, "I personally enjoy a like exercise and some sight seeing late at night. Also, I'd rather not run into Stevenson in the dormitory again before he goes to bed or I might be tempted to hex his testicles off."

"Still mad he sneezed on your toast this morning?" Thea asked.

"Livid," Simone replied.

"Well I'm sure he didn't mean it. He has allergies. I think—," Thea trailed off stopping mid stride.

Simone stopped, realizing Thea was no longer following, "Thea?"

Thea didn't answer, she just continued to stare ahead of her.

Simone turned, following Thea's line of sight, "What is it—oh..."

{page break}

"—you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

It felt like Severus' mind had shut down on him at that question. What could he say to that? That she was different because he loved her? Because she was the first friend he ever had? Because out of every muggleborn, halfblood, and pureblood in the school, she had once been the only person who didn't judge him for being poor, a half blood, Slytherin, or unattractive. Once; she had been that person once. At one time she was his everything, but in recent years she had began to pull away. More and more she fed into her other friends biased against anything even remotely dark. The idea of knowing dark magic to protect oneself from it was unheard of to them, sounded utterly absurd to their ears. His desire to be stronger came off as cruel and evil to them because they rarely had been the underdog as often as he had. And Lily was siding more and more with them, refusing to even hear him out. She saw what her friends wanted her to see, ignorant to the fact that there was more to the world than black and white.

Severus didn't want to be a Death Eater to harm innocent people, but was it so wrong to want to hurt those that had wronged him? Lily sided with 'the light' because she wanted to fight against those who wanted to hurt her, so why was he wrong for wanting to fight against those who wished him harm? Was it his fault that those who hurt him were hypocritically claiming to be a part of the light? Or were his very own father? And how could Dumbledore be on the rights side when he so casually weighed the value of his very students' lives and decided one's life matter more than the one who nearly lost theirs? Lily was so busy defending Potter as the lesser of two evils when compared to Slytherins, that it was apparent her stipulation for what made you a bad person wasn't about your cruelty, but rather who you were cruel to and if you used light magic to do it. Potter could flay Severus alive, but as long as he did it with a simple letter opening charming or a paper shredding spell, he would be 'better' than any of those Severus hung out with.

But...he thought about Simone's words from earlier. Was he really making the wrong choice? All he wanted was to belong; to be respected. Not loathed, not tolerated, and especially not pitied. As some low class half blood he didn't stand a chance of greatness; not when even Slughorn, a man who's connection had helped many go from nothing to something, barely even acknowledged his existence. Being a Death Eater would give him a fighting chance to make it in the world. But what if Simone was right? Would his pureblood friends actually let him outshine them with his natural abilities when they so profoundly lacked any skill? Was he pushing Lily away for empty promises?

Severus must have hesitated too long, because Lily's eyes grew harsh and unforgiving and she turned her back on him to leave.

"Lily," he called out, "Wait, please...I—"

"Goodbye, Severus," Lily said coldly. Without looking back, she climbed through the portrait hole and was gone.

Severus was left standing in the corridor by himself, hand still outstretched for the one true friend he ever had.

"You're different because you actually cared," Severus said quietly, letting his hand drop to his side. Slowly he slid to the floor where he stayed for several minutes.

Soft footsteps approached him from behind and a cold hand touched his shoulder.

"Come on, Snape," Simone said gently, "Let's go back."

Hardly listening, Snape stood up as if in a daze, his eyes sad and empty. He barely noticed as Simone draped an arm around his shoulders, did not feel Thea's hand in his own, never heard the portrait hole open a second time or the pained yelp that followed.

Others were with him, but he had never felt so alone.

{page break}

 

"Bloody bugger it all!" Sirius cursed loudly as he walked back to the fireplace.

Lily who was lingering by the window pensively, turned her head ever so discreetly in his direction but otherwise gave no indication to let the others know she was listening in.

"What now, Padfoot?" James asked in amusement, not even pretending to pay attention to his charms homework.

Sirius, frowned rubbing at the side of his face, "I heard Mary say that Snivellous was out there, so I thought I would go give him friendly little greeting."

Lily barely kept herself from flinching. She knew she shouldn't care about what happened to Severus anymore, but she couldn't help it. It really was low of Sirius to go bother Sev right after their friendship ended; she'd hate it if someone decided to have a go at her right now at least. And that awful name, didn't the boys ever get tired of it? Lily twitched...she's used that name too today, hadn't she? But...that wasn't her fault. She was mad and hurt, how could he call her that wretched word?

"What? Snape's out there?" James said with a start, rising to get out of the armchair, "Maybe I should go say 'hello' as well."

Remus frowned lowering his book, "Maybe you guys have done enough today..."

"Are you kidding? He's practically asking for it. Who does he think he is, showing his face around here after we trounced him?" James asked excitedly.

Lily grit her teeth. Couldn't James leave well enough alone?

Sirius shook his head, "Don't bother, mate. He's not alone out there now. See this?" He pointed to the angry red mark blossoming across his face, "That bitch Serapeum sent a pretty bad stinging hex at me before I had even stepped out the door. Talk about one nasty bird."

"What?" Lily's head snapped up. That girl was out there right now? Had she been spying on them?

Lily rushed to the portrait hole, ignoring James calling out for her in surprise.

Pushing the portrait open slowly, Lily peered cautiously around the frame.

There off down the hall, Severus was walking away being guided by two girls. The shorter of the two was hard to make out, but there was no mistaking that mocha skin and raven black hair on the other. It was the same Slytherin from the lake who had caused such a stir. Thinking on it now still rankled her. Lily was the one who had her feelings hurt so terribly, and yet _she_ was the wrong one in that girl's eyes? Who did this Simone girl think she was?

Almost as if she could hear her thoughts, Simone turned her head just so and made eye contact with Lily over Severus' shoulder. For a long moment neither of them blinked. Then a cold, flinty look overcame Simone, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing like she had a particularly unpleasant taste in her mouth. Directing as much venom and dislike as she could with her gaze, Simone finally broke their staring contest with a roll of her eyes, turning her head away and leading Severus further down the hall and out of sight.

{page break}

For the next few days, whenever the students weren't tearing their hair out over exams, the talk in the halls consisted of the dour Severus Snape and his unlikely new companions.

Wherever the unfriendly young man went, he was seen flanked by Simone and her timorous friend Thea. It was anyone's guess as to why the rich and standoffish pureblood was even bothering with a scowling nobody like Snape, but everywhere one was seen, so was the other. Walking together between exams, eating in the Great Hall with one another, even spotted sitting shoulder to shoulder on the steps outside reading tomes from the Library. Though it should probably be noted that all of the physical contact was on Simone's part. The normally reserved girl had taken to being particularly chummy with Snape, linking arms with him when they walked and flinging an arm over his shoulder when talking to him. At one point, she gave him a chaste hug, though it was obvious she had only done it for her own amusement at seeing Snape struggle out of her grip.

Yes, it would seem Simone had taken Snape under her wing. Any time not in exams was spent with her as Snape's ever present guard, Thea never far behind, though the quiet girl was more respectful of Severus' personal space. Simone not only served to keep the bullies away, but also Snape's other Slytherin acquaintances. Mulciber and Avery kept their distance from Snape whenever Simone was present, baffling much of the student body; what reason did too hulking and nefarious Slytherins have to be wary of Simone?

"You think she's shagging him?" Sirius proposed one morning at breakfast.

Several seats down, Lily nearly choked on her pumpkin juice.

"What ever would make you think that?" James asked aghast.

Sirius shrugged, "Well she's a pureblood, that means if she's anything like my 'perfect' little brother, she's got a betrothal arranged. It isn't unusual for some purebloods to pick a nobody to mess around with for a little fun before settling down. You know, someone worthless enough to be unable to challenged the betrothal, so there's no worry about commitment or angering mummy and daddy."

"Yeah but she could at least find a better nobody than Snape," James said, shuddering in disgust, "I mean, she's a right bint, but she's attractive enough to have her pick of some far better looking blokes."

"Maybe she's doing it on a dare. Can you come up with a better reason why she's suddenly attached at the hip with him?" Sirius asked.

James frowned, thinking about it, but coming up with nothing.

Remus rolled his eyes, stirring his porridge, "Do you really think Snape's sex life—or lack there of," he added when Sirius mock gagged into his eggs, "Is really any of our business?"

"I just think it would be a shame if she hooked up with a greaseball like Snivellous; that Serapuem girl is a bitch but she's got a nice pair, if you know what I mean," Sirius waggled his eyebrows.

"An idiot could pick up on your implications, Pads," Remus deadpanned.

James guffawed and Pettigrew snickered childishly while Sirius just gave a 'what can I say' shrug of his shoulders.

As the Marauders descended into a fit of rancous laughter, Lily aimlessly picked around at her breakfast, suddenly not hungry. Her eyes kept flitting over to the Slytherin table.

Sure enough, Simone and Thea were with Severus, sitting on either side of him chatting merrily. Severus himself didn't appear to have much to contribute to the conversation, barely acknowledging them, but Simone didn't seem to care too much. In fact, she was apparently quite amused by his lack of response, bouncing whatever she was saying off of him like a sounding board. Whenever Severus actually looked in her direction, Simone's smile would grow wider, pearly white teeth flashing.

Lily stared at them from across the hall. Was it really possible there was something between them that Lily didn't know about? Simone had never shown an interest in Severus before the day at the lake, but now she followed Severus everywhere. Or more like led him everywhere. Where Sev once trailed after Lily, now he allowed Simone to drag him wherever she pleased. She was even beginning to have some sort of influence on him. His face looked a little less greasy lately and his hair was shiny instead of stingy; Simone must have been providing him with some type of product. Was he really willing to go through all those changes for a girl he hardly knew? Had he really replaced Lily's friendship with some sort of illicit affair with a snobby pureblood like Serapuem?

At that precise moment, Simone happened to look up and catch Lily's gaze. Giving a mean, mocking smile full of teeth, she leaned over and pulled Snape into a side hug, resting her head on his shoulder affectionately as Severus tried to wriggle away.

Lily pushed her plate away from her on the table; suddenly she had lost her appetite.

{page break}

Simone sighed for the hundredth time. Kneeling under one of the beds in the hospital wing, she was trying unsuccessfully to charm away an off-color stain that had formed on the floor beneath. Pomfrey had assured her it was a spilled potion, but judging by the reddish tint that turned a sour yellowish brown around the edges, Simone wasn't about to rule out it being a far less pleasant fluid.

Simone gave her wand another flick, muttering yet another cleaning charm. Still the stain remained.

"This is ridiculous," she complained, straightening up, "Give me one of those muggle solvents, they clean things just fine. Heck, give me—what's that drink muggles like? Cola! Now _that_ cleans blood off the sidewalk, I hear."

Thea smiled from where she was turning the bed sheets down over by Pomfrey's office, "I thought that you would be happy she let us use magic to do this. After all, Potter and Black aren't allowed to at their detentions with Flich."

Simone sneered, "You mean _before_ Dumbledore ended their sentence?"

Simone couldn't say it really upset her; she knew the old coot would do it. If anything he proved her right, which she was quiet happy to gloat about to Thea in their spare time. Better yet, being overruled had served to piss McGonagall off. Dumbledore clearly saw some sort of benefit to keeping Potter and Black in his pocket with special treatment, but whatever it was, Simone hadn't a clue. Perhaps to have access to better funding when the boys inherited their families' fortunes? Either way, by choosing to overindulge them, Dumbledore only succeeded and isolating a friend and confidante. That meant a better chance of winning over some adults into actually _protecting_ Slytherins; once they saw how biased and inadequate their headmaster was at least.

"Anyway my point was that magic doesn't fix everything," Simone said, gesturing to the stain on the floor, "You can't always wave a mess away. Not even house elf magic can clean every mess; why do you think they still scrub and wash things by hand? I think this is an instance where some spit and polish would actually work better."

Thea giggled, "You just don't know any decent cleaning spells."

Simone shrugged, "I'm an heiress. Before Hogwarts I rarely even had to dress myself, let alone clean." She adjusted to a more comfortable position, ready to take a break, "So what do you think Severus is doing?"

Thea cocked her head thoughtfully, "Reading most likely."

Simone snorted, "You mean brooding. I swear, getting him to smile is like pulling teeth from a Hungarian Horntail, only more dangerous. Can you believe he used that Langlock spell on me?"

"Well he did ask you to be quiet," Thea pointed out.

"Still it was rude," Simone pouted.

At the sight of Simone's silly face, Thea broke out into a fresh fit of giggles.

Simone flashed Thea a cheeky grin then frowned, a thought occurring to her, "He better not be hanging around Mulciber and the others."

"He hasn't sought them out since that day by the lake," Thea mused, "Perhaps he's given your words some thought. I mean, you've practically beat him over the head with it every day since then."

Simone clicked her tongue, "I just want to get through to him. He's pushing away everyone and throwing away any good in his life for people who couldn't care less about him. You noticed none of them intervened on his behalf when Potter strung him upside down, right? They're only using him and they aren't good for him. That whole Movement is crazy."

Thea smiled softly, "It's nice that you care so much about him. Treating him kindly, giving him attention. No one should be lonely," she trailed off, eyes glazed and far away.

Simone's eyes softened, "Everyone deserves friends Thea. Hey," she called, getting Thea to look at her, "Everyone."

Thea took in a shaky breath, her eyes watery, "Y-yeah. Everyone." She fumbled with her wand awkwardly, "I should de-wrinkle the privacy curtains..."

"Oh for goodness sake!" Madam Pomfrey's voice broke the tension, "Now of all times?"

The matron came bustling out of her office, skirts billowing around her feet.

"Something wrong Ma'am?" Thea asked nervously.

Pomfrey huffed, "Just the usual nonsense. Some Ravenclaw fourth years decided to have an eating contest with the candies they got from Honeydukes and one of them ended up trying to eat Drooble's blowing gum by mistake. Now he's got his face stuck to his mattress; don't ask me how because I haven't the foggiest idea!"

"Sounds like your average school night," Simone murmured, standing up.

Pomfrey nodded, "Yes, only I just found ran into some trouble with a Doxy in my office. I took out the blighter, but I've still got hundreds of eggs to get rid of before they hatch, and who knows how soon that will be?"

"We can do it," Thea offered, always the helpful one.

Simone nodded, "We have some time left before curfew, and it isn't like the eggs can bite you like the parents. Let us handle it while you handle bubble boy."

Madam Pomfrey hesitated, "Well I suppose that falls under cleaning the wing. And it's true the eggs are relatively harmless. Fine," she relented, "Take the spray on my desk; doxycide kills the eggs too. I'll take care of whatever you didn't finished when I get back. Just be careful."

"We always are," Simone drawled, brushing off her robes.

Giving the girls a quick thank you, Pomfrey swept out of the hospital wing, the doors closing loudly behind her.

Simone turned to Thea, gesturing to Pomfrey's office, "Shall we?"

When they entered the office, Simone pointed to separate corners of the room, "You start at that end and I'll start over here. We'll search every corner and meet up in the middle."

Thea nodded, "Right."

They spread out and began searching, spraying any cracks and corners eggs were found stuck to. There were also a few clumps stuck to the bottom of Pomfrey's chair and underneath her desk and under the tea table off to the side. The job became monotonous and dull, but it was better than fighting off hatched Doxies at least.

"It looks like there are some over by that filing cases," Simone said after some time had passed.

"On it," Thea replied. Going over to the cases, she noticed some of the eggs seemed to be wedged into the drawer itself. They appeared half crushed, probably folding in on themselves as the eggs grew bigger in such an enclosed space. Still, there was the chance that the Doxies inside would still survive and they couldn't have that happening.

Trying to figure out the best way to remove the eggs, Thea prodded the cluster with her wand tip carefully. While she expected to be unsuccessful in removing them, she didn't expect what happened next. She must have prodded too hard or given her a wand a bit of a shake, for it sparked suddenly and with a crack the drawer burst open, spewing files all over the floor.

"Thea!" Simone cried concerned from all the noise.

"I'm fine," Thea assured her friend, "The drawer just popped off. My wand must have countered the spelling locking it; there must be a fracture in my wand core or something. I'll pick this up, you focus on the eggs."

Kneeling down, Thea began picking up the spilled files and arranging them back in alphabetical order. She tried not to pry and avoided looking at the names on the files, though she did spot a few familiar names here and there anyway. However, when she reached down for the remaining files on the floor, she was dismayed to find one of them open. It laid face down on the floor and when she picked it up, there was what appeared to be a page from different file stuck in it, probably having slid out of it's own file as it hit the floor. Thea went to pull the page from the file to put it in its rightful place only to find a very familiar face was staring sullenly back at her from a moving black and white photo.

Severus Snape was written in bold at the top of the file in Pomfrey's handwriting. The name of the folder it was peeking out of; Remus Lupin.

Now, there was something one should know about Theadosia Mnemosyne. Timid and sweet though she may be, her family had inherited a rather worrisome reputation in high class pureblood society for a very unique gift they had. Rumored to have been intended as a curse bestowed upon their ancestors which backfired, it was referred to as the gift of "Serendipitous Findings". Whatever the origin behind this unexplained ability, the fact was this: Thea's family had an astounding knack for accidentally and unintentionally stumbling upon, coming across, or just plain dredging up information on others; information often unknown or forgotten or that the person wanted to forget. This consisted of scandalous affairs, bank records for fraud, hidden lovechild's and the like. Basically in the Mnemosyne's presence, secrets didn't stay secrets for long.

When first beset with this interesting enchantment, Thea's family had treated the gift with care, it was a gift befitting the many Hufflepuffs scattered across the family tree. Gradually Huffflepuff loyalty waned as Slytherin ambition took over. But alas, as many family members thirst for power grew, the more temptation set in and the ability was used for espionage and blackmail. Ambition turned to greed, and greed to malice. Thea's family embraced the gift with relish, choosing to utilize their unexpected findings to run a cut throat campaign through high society to keep friends in line and enemies on edge. It ensure them seats on the Wizengamot, favors from outstanding families, and protection from retaliation, many fearing they would unearth something unsavory and use it as revenge. All pureblood families warned their children of it, especially Slytherins. Mulciber and Avery actually avoided Snape the past week because of _Thea_ , not Simone.

Thea herself had no love for her ability, finding it invasive and mean, but that didn't mean she could prevent it from happening. Which is why she found herself in such a pickle at that moment, looking down at her new friend's very personal medical file.

Thea moved to close the file, knowing she had no right to look through something so private. Pomfrey could sort the mixed pages out later. But...there was something about the file in her hands. It almost felt like it was fate, like something _wanted_ her to read it. A hesitant glance at the papers again and a name jumped out at her from several places in both Remus' file and Snape's.

_Whomping Willow._

Thea swallowed thickly. She had heard about the incident a few months prior, the one where James Potter had reportedly saved Severus' life at the Willow. Everyone assumed that Snape had foolishly gotten himself attacked by the tree—Potter's bragging recollection of events always conveniently left out what he had actually saved Severus from, but something always seemed off to her. Why would Severus go to the Willow knowing the branches would attack him? When rumors fist started it was clear it had enraged Severus to be accused of putting himself in danger like that, but he never offered a different version to counter the claims. Why couldn't he speak out in his own defense? Was it something to do with the Potter? Or the headmaster? As far as she knew, Lupin's name never came up in the Willow story, but here he was in the medical records regarding the event.

Another quick glance at the pages. Yes, both boys records mentioned that tree.

Against her better judgment, Thea began to read.

"No..."Thea murmured, her face paling, "This...this can't be right...this can't be..." Thea flipped through the pages, "No...it's all here. It's all true...and Potter calls himself a hero?!"

"Thea?" Simone asked, finished with her side of the room, "What's wrong?"

Simone's eyes fell upon the files in Thea's shaking hands, her fingers clenched so tightly around the paper her knuckles were turning white, "Thea, what is that?"

From outside the office, the doors to the hospital wing opened and the clicking of Pomfrey's heels could be heard.

Panicking and with more than an irrational amount of rashness, Thea hastily waved her wand over the files in her hands and duplicated them. Shrinking the copies down and stowing them in her robes, she shoved the originals back into cabinet with the rest of the gathered files and spelled it shut again.

Simone watched on in shock and bemusement at her friend's uncharacteristically Slytherin sneakiness, "Thea, what on earth has gotten into you?"

"Shh!" Thea hissed, turning around nervously as Pomfrey walked into the office.

"Well, that's been taken care of," Pomfrey said wearily, "I swear I don't understand how students can get into so much trouble. So were you able to get the office cleared of eggs?"

"Mostly, Ma'am," Simone replied, casting a curious glance at Thea from the corner of her eye.

"No matter, I'll get the rest of it. Thank you very much for your help, girls. Now, I do believe it is just about curfew; you best be heading off to your dormitory," Pomfrey looked over at Thea, "Are you alright dear? You seem a bit peaky."

"I'm fine," Thea said quietly, "I guess I just worked myself up worrying about if one of the eggs hatched while we were here."

Pomfrey nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer, "Well then, off to bed with you both."

Both girls scurried out of the wing.

 _'Good thing Thea's naturally twitchy,'_ Simone thought.

{page break}

"Sorry you had to do round with me, Remus," Lily said, "Alice ended up with a terrible migraine from all this exam madness. She couldn't even bear a flicker of a candle without feeling sick; we sent her to bed and turned out every light."

Remus and Lily were on patrol through the lower floors of the castle. As prefects, it was their job to ensure no students were lingering about the halls after curfew or sneaking out.

"It's fine, Lily," Remus replied amiably, "I was free tonight anyway, so you weren't pulling me away from anything important. Besides, it wasn't like I would be getting any studying done with all the fuss being made in the common room."

"The younger kids are still celebrating that their tests are done, huh?" Lily asked, amused.

Remus rolled his eyes, "They have no idea how lucky they are. Tests were so much simpler before we reached fifth year. Exams are much harder now. And does there have to be so many of them?" He threw his hands up dramatically, causing Lily to laugh at his antics.

Sobering, Remus turned to Lily, "So how have you been doing?"

Knowing what Remus was referring to, Lily looked down, "I'm alright. Hurt, I suppose. I guess I shouldn't really be surprised though, not with the friends he keeps."

"They really are a bad bunch," Remus said.

"Yes," Lily agreed, "They are. Really, this was all for the best; he was changing and I couldn't hang onto what we had knowing that. It's toxic."

"But letting go is easier said than done," Remus pointed out, giving Lily a knowing look, "Am I right?"

Lily looked away, "I miss him," she admitted, "But I never thought he would ever say that to me. It hurts. I need to move on."

Remus bit his lip, hesitant, "Look, Lily, I'm not one to sing Snape's praises, but I don't think he meant to say what he did."

Lily whirled around to face Remus, aghast, "Are you defending him? What he did was awful!"

"He was under a lot of pressure at the time," Remus admitted, "My friends weren't exactly helping matters."

"What they did had nothing to do with me, and yet it was ME he lashed out at. I was trying to help him!"

Remus held his hands up placating, "I wasn't saying what he did was okay. Just that...well emotions were high at the time..."

"That's no excuse," Lily insisted.

"Just one little peek!" a voice traveled down the hall to them, causing Lily and Remus to look up in surprise.

Coming down the hall to them were a pair of Slytherins, seemingly lost in a rather serious conversation.

"Seriously, Thea, why won't you let me look?" Simone asked, trying to reach an arm around her friend to snatch the file.

"No, Sim," Thea said, holding the file out of reach. She had already removed Snape's page and stowed it out of reach of Simone's grasping hands, "It isn't mine to share; I shouldn't have even done this...I don't know what came over me."

"I just want to see what it is that has you so upset. I rarely see you so hot under the collar," Simone said.

"Like I said, it isn't mine to share!" Thea repeated.

The arguing pair finally realized they weren't alone, a bit startled to find two prefects staring at them.

"What are you two doing here?" Lily asked.

Simone crossed her arms, looking down her nose at the redhead, "Not that it is any concern of yours but we just left Madam Pomfrey's and are headed to bed; the dungeons are this way. Or have you forgotten?"

Thea said nothing, her eyes locked on Remus with an unreadable expression on her face.

Lily flushed slightly, "Well then what's that you have there?" she gestured to the file in Thea's hands, "It doesn't sound like you're supposed to have it."

Simone stepped in front of Thea, hiding her from Lily's gaze, "That, Evans, is officially none of your business and I would do well to keep my nose out of other peoples' business if I were you. I won't have you two of all people trying to boss me around."

At those words, Remus stepped forward, "Hey now, you can't go around talking to a prefect like that. We do have authority over you. Now if that folder isn't something you should have, then you should probably hand it over."

"Oh so now you care about rules," came an icy voice.

Thea glared at Remus, lightening flashing in her normally kind and peaceful eyes.

"Thea?" Simone questioned.

"You have the gall to pull the prefect routine now, after all the times you have skimped on the job at the cost of others' safety and feelings?" Thea stormed past Simone, striding right up to Remus until they were standing nose to nose, Thea standing on her toes to look the taller student in the eyes.

"How many times have you turned a blind eye to what awful things you're friends were doing, huh?" Thea asked, "How many times did you let them get away with things, simply because you were too cowardly to do the right thing? Is it that you feel indebted to them? Do you think you owe them your compliance in their actions. Don't answer that—I already know," She waved the folder in Remus' face.

Remus caught sight of the name on the file and paled, realizing what the documents were.

"After all they have done, after what they did to him, you _still_ stand by them? Tell me, were you in on that prank? Did you think it was funny, nearly getting him killed? And then you just sat back while Potter walked around with his inflated ego playing at being the hero? Have you no shame?!"

"I didn't...I mean..." Remus stuttered.

Thea wasn't done with him yet, "You know, normally I would have felt bad for someone with your condition, lord knows you can't help it, but to think you let someone use it to do something so heinous and still sit back while they torment that poor boy after all the injustice he already faced. No wonder he hangs around such bad eggs; why would he side with the light when the bloody good guys are attempted killers?!"

"You are terrible," Thea continued, "It's not your condition that makes a monster, but how you behave. You of all people should know what it is like to suffer and yet you watched someone else be subjected to pain, humiliation, and isolation day after day for the last five years and did nothing about it; even found it funny occasionally, I'm sure. Are you that bitter that you found it cathartic to see someone else getting the mickey taken out of them instead of you?" She shoved the folder into Remus's hands, "Take the bloody file, you know what's in it anyway."

With one last harsh look at the boy, Thea pushed past him and walked away.

"And since, unlike you, I am a nice person," Thea yelled over her shoulder, "Your secret is safe with me!" She continued to stomp away.

"But Thea, I never got a chance to see it!" Simone called racing after her, "What did it say?"

"It isn't your business, Sim," Thea called back.

"Oh come on!" Simone pleaded as the pair disappeared around the corner.

Remus stood there shell shocked, clutching the documents tightly in his hands.

"Remus," Lily asked softly, "What was she talking about," she glanced down at the papers, "Are these your medical files? What was she doing with them?"

Remus stared down at the file, dazed, "Sirius did warn me to avoid her. She's got a strange habit, an ability, of finding out things you don't want her to. I guess it was just a matter of time before she found this out..."

"What is it?" Lily asked, impatient, "Remus what was she talking about. She said someone almost got killed; Remus..." her friend did not respond, "Remus, what did you do?!"

Remus stared down at Lily, conflicted, "I-I didn't mean to...I...it wasn't me who did it..."

Eyes softening, Lily placed a hand on Remus arm, "Remus, you can tell me. What happened?"

Standing in the flickering torch lights, Remus took a deep breath.

"I may have made some bad choices over the years," Remus admitted, "Lily...there's something you should know..."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens. *strokes a tweedly mustache*
> 
> I hope no one minds the unique little ability I gave Thea. To be fair, it can't make her much of a special snowflake as she has no control over it at all. And yes, her family was once a family of Hufflepuffs; in fact Thea almost was one, but she managed to convince the hat...somehow *shifty eyes* So it makes sense that a family of "particularly good finders" would be 'cursed' with so odd a gift.
> 
> Fun fact: Thea's last name is the personification of memory in Greek myth. Thea's ability allows her to (unwillingly) find out secrets people would rather not reveal or remember.
> 
> Tune in for the next chapter!
> 
> Read and review please. Your reviews keep me warm at night.


	4. And the Rose Color Fades Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily confronts Simone and gets more than she bargained for/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello luvies!
> 
> I'm thrilled you've all come back for more. It does my heart good to see the story is enjoyable.
> 
> I would like to yet again thank my faithful reviewers. Some of you gave great feedback and your own interpretations of the HP world that were lovely to hear.
> 
> This chapter deals with something that truly bugs me about those who defend Sirius and James; their willingness to essentially throw Remus away. hat 'prank' would have ruined Remus life and not only does James forgive Sirius for willingly using their friend as a weapon to be thrown away, but Sirius to the day he died viewed the incident as a prank and still maintained it was what Snape deserved...so by that logic Snape deserved for Remus to nearly be outed as a werewolf and his life ruined so that Sirius could settle a petty school rivalry. Also, murder isn't a prank and people in this fandom need to stop viewing it as such. 15 is plenty old enough to understand that trying to kill someone is wrong, just as it is old enough to commit rape and other heinous acts; lets stop acting like being a kid means you automatically "don't know any better" when it comes to subjects like life and death.

* * *

 

Lily sat at breakfast, picking feebly at her bangers and mash. She spent the night before tossing and turning in bed and now she could barely keep her eyes open. With so much on her mind, she could barely sort her thoughts out, let alone her feelings.

 _Werewolf_.

Remus was a _Werewolf_. The thought would not leave Lily be.

Of course, she oftentimes wondered about her friend's many absences from class, but she never paid much attention to the lunar cycle to take note of them matching up before. Even when Severus finally pointed it out to her, she refused to believe it. It was less about stubbornness or even her wanting to think the best of Remus; it had everything to do with her once steadfast belief that no teacher or Headmaster would break so blatant a rule and jeopardize the rest of the students with such a secret.

That in itself bothered her; the Headmaster was supposed to uphold the rules in order to protect the students and yet he had taken such a careless risk. Yes, she could see why it was done out of the goodness of his heart—poor Remus—but clearly the headmaster picked the wrong way to go about it. Dumbledore had brought Remus to Hogwarts in secret. If students had no idea something or someone posed a threat to them, no matter how unintentionally, then they had no idea what measures to take to avoid getting hurt.

Lily huffed; now that she thought of it, this was just like the vague warning they got each year to stay out of the forbidden forest. By not specifying why such places were off limits, it only piqued foolhardy curiosity in students and made them want to go looking. It was only through many afternoon teas with Hagrid that Lily herself had learned the forest had territorial Centaurs and man-eating giant spiders in it. Otherwise, even she might have been tempting to go inside, at least to catch a peek of the Unicorns rumored to be just beyond the forest's edge.

All it would take was some daredevil student to get it into their heads they could take on the Whomping Willow and next thing you know the secret tunnel reveals itself. What if they went in on a full moon? What if some student thought the Shack would make a great secret clubhouse and began hanging around there, unaware of the full moon ever approaching faster to their demise?

Lily could not understand it; how could Dumbledore have been so naive? Not only had the Headmaster put students at risk, but Remus as well. As beacon of hope and a respected member of Wizarding society, Dumbledore would only get a slap on the wrist for breaking the law. Most likely he would lose his influence over the Ministry and be removed from Hogwarts. That was nothing compared to what would happen to Remus if anyone found out. He'd be tried for breaking the law, just another werewolf to be persecuted. He could serve time in Azkaban for that alone; she could only imagine what they would do to him if he had bitten someone or worse.

Lily shuddered, her mind drifting to another unpleasant revelation. Remus _had_ almost killed someone. He couldn't help it, mind you, but it didn't change that he almost had. Severus very nearly died that night and Lily was none the wiser for so long; unknowing of how someone dear to her could have perished. Dumbledore had kept the incident quiet—a fact that still infuriated Lily—so who could say if he would have hushed up a death at school? Would they have written off Severus' demise as an unknown accident leaving Lily to mourn without even knowing the truth?

So many times Lily defended Dumbledore's decisions, the way he served detention for Severus and the Marauders fights, and yet he weighed one student's worth against the other, protecting Remus while swearing Sev to silence and denying him justice.

Guilt churned in the pit of Lily's stomach, warring with her resolve to wipe her hands of Snape for good. He tried to tell her, hadn't he? Lily had brushed him off, told him he was overreacting. He was unable outright say it, but he tried to explain it to her, he tried to tell her the truth; that James Potter was no hero that day. At least not a real one.

Lily fumed; bragging about saving someone from certain death while hiding the fact that your friend had been the cause of the danger in the first place, despicable. To make matters worse, he continued to harass Severus after! And Lily implied Severus should be grateful to James for saving him…she could only imagine how that must have made him feel.

Lily shook her head. She couldn't dwell on Snape anymore. Wronged or not, he still was heading down a terrible path she could not follow him on. She would not let guilt compel her to return to their unstable friendship.

A commotion from the front of the Great Hall drew her attention away from her plate.

Staggering in draped over Jame's shoulder, Sirius skulked into the Hall sporting a rather impressive bloody nose and the beginnings of a black eye.

Lily's blood boiled just looking at that git. She couldn't so much as think of Sirius without wanting to scratch his eyes out; she most certainly didn't want to look at him. He tried to kill Sev!

' _No Lily,'_ she chided herself, _'Don't think about him anymore.'_

That didn't cool her rage at Sirius. What could possess someone to think attempted murder was okay? It didn't matter who the target was, murder was wrong. A prank he apparently considered it; there was nothing funny about trying to end someone's life. He even willingly used Remus as a pawn and murder weapon. How could he call himself a friend?

That precise matter was the reason Lily sat as far from Remus as possible for the last two days. Her heart went out to him for his condition, it really did and she assured him she thought no less of him for it, but he chose to stay friends with Sirius. He stayed friends with someone who not only tried to cause others serious harm (or even death), but who had also used Remus' own illness as a means to do it, willingly risking Remus' exposure, imprisonment and possible execution. Yet Remus defended the little creep. Hell, he had even tried to brush the whole ordeal off as a "regrettable prank gone wrong". Attempted Murder was not a prank!

Sirius dropped into a seat by Remus and Peter, James sitting down on his right. It was clear Remus had not told the others that he let Lily in on his secret, otherwise James would be doing a fantastic job at looking sincerely shamefaced. Case in point, James eyes darted to Lily and he smiled what he no doubt thought was a dashing smile, mussing his hair a little.

Lily turned away to keep herself from hexing the food on his plate to explode on him; how dare he look at her like that while keeping such a terrible secret. While she wanted to think highly of him befriending Remus despite his illness, she couldn't let go of how even he was willing to let Sirius slide for what he did. Did Remus' life mean so little to him that he could forgive someone who nearly ruined it?

Lily picked at her food, straining to hear what the boys were saying. The table had clear out just enough that there were few people sitting between her and them now.

"Stupid bint," Sirius muttered.

"You look awful, Sirius," Peter simpered, "what happened?"

"Don't tell me," Remus deadpanned, "It was—,"

"That rotten slimy she-snake!" Sirius declared angrily, pointing towards the entrance.

Striding imperiously through the doors with her arms around Thea and Snape, Simone didn't spare the Gyffindor table even a glance as she sat down and prepared a plate for herself.

Remus sighed, "What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything to her," Sirius insisted.

James nodded eagerly besides him, "It's true, we weren't bothering her at all. You see, we had just spotted Snivellous, and—,"

"Why do you guys have to keep pestering him?" Remus asked, clearly upset, "Hasn't this little feud gone on long enough?"

"Little feud? Remus, he's a Slytherin; he's eyes deep in dark magic. If anything he deserves it," James cried.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Sirius pried, "Don't tell me you're still thinking about what Serapeum said by the Lake?"

"Among other things," Remus discreetly shot a glance at Lily, their eyes meeting briefly. It was clear that Thea's words the other night in the hallway were weighing heavily on him. Lily hated to admit it, but she hoped so.

"Remus don't waste a single thought on her, mate" Sirius said, "You're one of the good guys. So what if you don't stop us from fighting Snivellous? It's in the name of good."

Peter nodded so hard his head look ready to fly off with all the flapping his oversized ears were doing, "They're right, Moony."

"Shh, careful with the codenames," James hissed.

' _Moony, huh? Well now that ridiculous nickname makes sense,_ ' Lily thought, _'What about the other nicknames? How do they fit in?'_

"Just tell us what happened," Remus said wearily, defeated. Obviously he wasn't going to get anywhere with his friends today.

Sirius took a gulp of pumpkin juice before beginning, "Okay, so it was like this: we see Snivellous wandering along, big greasy nose of his in a book, and his guard dog nowhere in sight for once; just the little one this time. No clue were the bitch was, but hey, Snivellous was vulnerable."

"So we thought we would go over and give him a nice, 'friendly' hello," James picked up, twiddling his wand in his hand.

"Just hex him a bit, nothing that would get us caught." Sirius continued.

"And we may have said a few things about his usual flaws. His hair, his nose," James added.

"Some things about his mum," Sirius tacked on.

"Sirius, that's low. You don't even know his mother," Remus scolded disapprovingly.

"We told that Thea girl to bugger off to some slimy crevice with the rest of the serpents too," Sirius bragged, ignoring Remus' huff.

"Sirius!" Remus reprimanded.

James waved him off, "Shh, he's getting to the good part."

Sirius graciously narrated onward, "So I was hitting him with this hex that makes you hair change colors. Pink and all that; he looked like a giant greasy pompom."

"It was great," James chuckled.

Down the table, Lily was cutting her meat so furiously it was a wonder she did not saw clean through her plate.

"But then next thing I know, BLAM! I've got a fist swinging me right in the face out of nowhere!" Sirius swung his fist for dramatic effect.

"Knocked him clean off his feet," James explained.

Sirius scowled, "I stumbled, I didn't fall."

James shook his head, cramming a forkful of eggs into his mouth, "No, mate, you fell. You bled and you fell."

Peter snickered into his hand and even Remus looked slightly pleased.

Sirius huffed, "Hey! A girl shouldn't even know how to throw a proper punch."

"Just keep telling yourself that, Siri," Remus smirked into his mug of hot chocolate.

Sirius glared at him, " _Anyway_ , next thing I know that crazy bird is straddling my chest and lands another blow, this time right to my eye. I'm telling you, if she wasn't a girl I would have clobbered her."

' _Sexist git,'_ thought Lily.

"How chivalrous," Remus muttered.

"The point is, she went off on me, alright?" Sirius went on, "I mean, who the hell does she think she is, touching this beautiful face?" He crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

James picked up where Sirius left off, "Her little friend pulled her off. Good thing too, I was going to hex her off Sirius if I had to. She was like a mad wet cat. Spitting and hissing insults at him."

"She told us to stay away if we know what's good for us," Sirius sneered, "Stay away from Snape? Fat chance of that happening."

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it and shook his head.

"So I told her to keep her greasy friend Snivellous away from Evans," James continued, "After what he did he better not even look in her direction. The same goes for Serapeum."

Lily frowned, _'I can take care of myself, you bloody idiot.'_ Honestly, was everything in her life James' business?

"And you know what she said?" James was saying, affronted.

"What?" Peter asked, hanging on James' every word as usual.

"She said Evans wasn't even worth it," Sirius snickered.

Lily froze with her fork halfway to her mouth.

"Not worth it?" Remus repeated, "What does she mean by that?"

James snarled, tearing into his sausage viciously, "What do you think it means? She was insulting Lily. Not worth it? Evans is worth a hundred of her!"

Despite her best efforts to stay mad at him, Lily couldn't help flushing at the compliment.

"Clearly she doesn't think much of Evans," Sirius said smugly. While Sirius never quite disliked Lily, he wouldn't say he _liked_ her either. Oftentimes she was just some nagging harpy, spoiling their fun and handing out lectures as if they were Cauldron Cakes. What a mother hen.

"But Evans has never done anything to her," James whined.

"Maybe it has nothing to do with what she's done. Maybe it's because she's muggleborn," Sirius offered, "You know how Slytherins are."

As the boys bickered back and forth on Sirius' reasoning, Lily looked over at the Slytherin table.

Lily watched as Simone said something to Snape, barely caring that he wasn't engaging in the conversation. Although she had just gotten out of a fight with Sirius, not a hair was out of place. She appeared to be in good spirits, smiling warmly at Thea and chatting with a few younger students near her. She even occasionally called out to friends at the Ravenclaw table, a taller boy looking over his shoulder to give her a wave.

At one point, Simone stopped in her merrymaking and turned to Snape to pluck the book out of his hand. Tutting, she pushed his plate towards him and served him a few more eggs and sausage, smiling all the while. She then produced a black ribbon from her robes and gently and carefully pulled Snapes' hair out of his face. When she was finished, she patted him on the back.

Lily couldn't help but feel that Simone's hand lingered a little too long.

Feeling eyes on her, Simone looked up and gold met emerald. For a long minute neither of them did anything other than stare at each other, but after a few moments, Simone rolled her eyes and turned away, a clear dismissal if there ever was one.

Ire rose in Lily like a potion threatening to boil over the side of a cauldron. Ripping her napkin from where it lay splayed on her lap and slapping it down next to her plate, she primly rose and stalked off from the table. Ignoring her friends questioning stares and Potter calling for her attention, she cast one more disdainful glance at the Slytherin table and strode from the room, her head held high.

She'd be damn if she let that bloody annoying cow get to her. It was time she gave that girl a piece of her mind.

 

{page break}

 

It was well past lunch before Lily had a free period to confront Simone. All day she had waited restlessly for fourth period study break to come, anger simmering just below the surface of her calm facade.

Rather than cool her off, the prolonged time before she saw Simone next only serve to vex her the more she thought of that girl. Rude, judgmental, not to mention a complete snob, when it came to obnoxious purebloods, Simone was the full package.

Well, Lily would just have to show that ruddy, haughty socialite that you can't put Lily Evans down.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Mary asked, struggling to keep up with Lily's hurried pace. When she learned of Lily's intention, the curvy brunette had steadfastly insisted on accompanying Lily. After all, no Gryffindor should ever face a Slytherin alone.

"I am, Mary," Lily confirmed, "And if you don't feel comfortable, I won't force you to come with me. I can do this alone."

"I'm just concerned. Simone's reputation proceeds her; nothing good will come from starting a fight with her," Mary explained.

"I'm not fighting with her, I just have something I need to say," Lily replied.

"Yes, but you do have a habit of getting a little…heated sometimes," Mary tried suggesting, "It wouldn't be wise to jump into this with wands waving, so to speak."

"Mary, I said it already; you don't have to come with me," Lily repeated, "…there she is."

Standing by one of the windows looking into the courtyard, Simone stood in all her proud glory in the midst of a heated discussion with Snape.

"Seriously, Snape," Simone was saying, "I told you it isn't wise to walk alone with those hooligans running loose. Just wait for me to come get you."

Snape glared at her, hair still pulled back by the ribbon Simone loaned him, "I told you I do not need an escort. Last thing I want is to be stuck listening to your inane chatter more than I already do."

Simone smirked, "Oh come now, Severus," she purred, "You know you love me."

Lily's stomach lurched unpleasantly; had her former best friend stooped so low that he would have feelings for someone as awful as Simone Serapeum?

Snape sputtered indignantly, "That is utterly absurd!"

"No its not," Simone sang, "You love meeeee."

"I most certainly do not!"

Trying to cover up how awkward she felt, Lily cleared her throat loudly, "Excuse me."

Snape flinched as if lightning struck him. Turning to face Lily, his pale features seemed even more so as he gazed at her in an odd mixture of wariness and hope, "Lily—,"

"May we help you?" Simone drawled.

"Yes actually," Lily said, straightening to her full height, "I was hoping I might have a word with you, Serapeum. A moment of your time."

It was unnoticeable to most, but Lily couldn't help but note that Snape deflated a little bit, what softness was in his eyes dimming to be replaced by disappointment.

Lily swallowed her guilt; she wasn't here for him.

Simone cocked an eyebrow at Lily, "Really now? Well, normally I'm booked solid with more worthwhile pastimes, but I suppose I could squeeze you in. I happen to know of a classroom that is available right now. Snape," she turned to the sullen young man, "I believe you have an exam to get to?"

"What happened to me needing an escort?" Snape bite out sarcastically.

"You still do," Simone observed, "But I'm not the only one who could do it."

"Yeah, Snape," came a cold, sneering voice from behind them, "I can make sure you get to class all safe and sound."

Avery sauntered up to the group, casting a derisive glare in Lily and Mary's direction, "Why don't you go with me? It's been ages since your little girlfriend here let you out to play." He jerked a thumb at Simone.

Simone stepped forward threateningly, "Shove off, Avery. We aren't looking for conversationalists who only know monosyllables. Or was even that to complicated a sentence for you to understand. Let me make it clearer: we don't have time for fool. Now, _leave_."

Avery sneered, hands held up in a placating gesture, "Now, now Simone. You know it is unbecoming of a pureblood to lose their temper in front of their…" he regarded Lily and Mary, "Lessers…"

Mary flushed angrily and Lily grit her teeth.

Amused by their reactions, Avery turned back to Simone, "Anyway, Snape's a big boy. He can make his own choices."

"And if he made good ones, I'd let him," Simone snarled. She halted Snape's protest with a piercing glare, "You'll do well to remember what we talked about."

Snape scowled but said nothing.

Lily observed the exchange curiously. What was that all about?

"Get lost, Avery," Simone repeated, "It hasn't escaped my notice that you only show your ugly mug when Thea isn't around. Afraid she might learn something you want to keep hidden?"

Avery looked around cautiously, "I'm not scared of her. But I have places to be...I guess we'll talk another time, Snape," he shrugged, stepping back into the crowd, "When you managed to ditch that nagging anchor hanging around your neck." He waved mockingly at them and left.

Simone breathed deeply through her nose, mentally counting to ten, "Anyway, to the matter of your exam…Davis will take you." With reflexes faster than a striking snake, Simone reached into the traffic of students and pulled out the tall Ravenclaw she was waving to at breakfast.

"Davis, be a lamb and keep Potter and his ilk away from our friend here, won't you," Simone asked, saccharine sweet.

By the awkward look Davis gave Snape it was clear 'friend' wasn't precisely the word he would use, even if he didn't have anything against Snape, "I suppose…" he said finally.

Simone clapped her hands together, "Perfect. Now I'll see you later Sevvy," she mimed blowing a kiss at him, "Be good for Davis. Us girls need to have a little talk."

Davis moved to join the throng of students again but Snape hung back. Gazing at Simone, a little staring contest passed between the pair. Subtly, Snape's eyes drifted to Lily and then back to Simone, a warning clear in those obsidian orbs.

Breaking eye contact, Simone sighed, "I'll behave," she promised with a roll of her eyes.

Snape stared at her a moment more, then reluctantly followed Davis down the hall.

Simone turned back to Mary and Lily, "Shall we?" she asked, eyebrow arched.

The two Gryffindors followed Simone down the hall in silence. Around them, students whispered excitedly among themselves. Two Gryffs with a notorious Slytherin? Now that was just juicy gossip.

Reaching an unused classroom, Simone turned to the pair.

"After you," she said with a dramatic sweep of her hand.

Lily walked past Simone with her head held high while Mary followed her at a more sedate pace.

Just as Simone was about to close the door, a brown little blur slipped in under her outstretched arm.

"Thea," Simone chided, a frown set heavily on her face, "I could have closed that on your head. What are you doing here?"

Thea shuffled her feet nervously, giving a small shrug, "There was talk in the halls."

Simone smiled despite herself, "You always know where to find me, don't you?"

Thea gave a sheepish smile in return, blushing in embarrassment.

"Seriously though, I need to put a bell on you so I hear you coming," Simone added, "Take a seat, I shouldn't be long."

Everyone took their place at opposing sides of the room. Lily and Mary on one side, Simone and Thea on the other.

Simone gestured for Lily to speak, "Now, what can I do for you?"

Looking at Mary, Lily received an encouraging thumbs up from her friend.

"Well," Lily began.

"Ah, just a second," With an elegant swish of her wand, Simone locked the door.

"So we won't be disturbed," she said.

Eyeing Simone's wand warily, Lily mustered up all her dignity and bravado, "I heard you think I'm worthless."

"I beg your pardon?" Simone questioned blankly.

"Worthless," Lily repeated, "You said I wasn't worth your time. Is that what you think; that I am less than you or something?"

"I haven't the foggiest clue what you're prattling on about," Simone replied.

Lily scoffed, "Yeah sure you don't. I suppose you expect to hurt me with your disdain, but I couldn't care less what you think of my blood. If anything, it just spurs me on seeing that I can get under your skin so much."

Mary nodded supportively from her corner.

"Under my skin?" Simone laughed, "My dear you're not even a blemish on my backside, let alone under my skin. I care very little that you're muggleborn. I've said it before; blood politics mean very, _very_ little to me."

"But you're a Slytherin," Mary pointed out.

"And I happen to be more than a stereotype," Simone drawled, "Hush now; this is between me and your friend."

She turned back to Lily, "As I was saying, where you come from has no place in this conversation as it doesn't concern me. Even if it did, you'd hardly be of any interest to me. Hate to break it to you, dearie, but girls like you are a Knut a dozen."

"Girls like me?" Lily questioned hotly, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Simone straightened, looking Lily up and down, "You know, vapid, one dimensional, single minded to the point of obliviousness."

"Vapid?" Lily balked, _"One dimensional?"_

"Lily isn't anything of those things," Mary cried.

Simone walked around Lily, examining her with a cold eye, "Let me guess, you grew up in a happy little home where mummy and daddy praised you for being special; thought you could do no wrong; add magic and the pedestal you were on rose even higher. People adored you in school, pretty and scholarly so all the teachers loved you and all the students wanted to be your friend. You thrived on the compliments so you made it a habit to mold yourself to their ideals to get more praise, caring more about what others thought of you than what you thought of yourself."

Simone paused, "How am I doing so far?"

Lily glared at her furiously, "How dare you—," she began, but she was cut off by Simone.

"Then you come here and manage to show up enough purebloods in academics that the professors make you their prized pupil, bolstering your ego with accolades about how 'brilliant' you are and soon you're back to being miss popular. Boys wanted to date you, girls wanted to be like you; you probably even got off on how hard Snape fought to stay your best friend all these years; after all he had so many contenders vying for that spot."

"I never—," Lily cried only for Simone to cut her off yet again.

"To top it off the most pompous ass in the school sets his sights on you and does whatever it takes to win your affections. You say you don't like it but secretly you preen under all that attention he gives you. The boy all your similarly insipid, giggling friends would kill to date and he wants _you_."

Lily flushed up to the roots of her hair. Behind her, Mary was gaping like a fish.

Simone was enjoying herself thoroughly, "The rude, crude Master of Harassment belittles and demeans people in your presence all so that you will notice him. You then proceed to degrade our entire gender by being _flattered_ he would go to such lengths just to win you like some damn trophy. I've seen your type before, luv, and you're hardly as interesting or unique as you hope yourself to be," Simone finished with a smirk.

Closing her eyes, Simone leaned casually against a desk, "You know looking back it all makes sense now why you were so ineffective at defending Snape. Anyone else would have just cast a spell and taken Potter down a peg or two and it would be written off as defending a friend; maybe one detention at best."

She cracked a single eye open, peering at Lily, "But you, you call yourself a witch and yet the best defense you could come up with for you friend was some catty banter? Of course you would; you're so obsessed with your good girl image you would never risk getting in trouble, even for a friend. You probably thought an impassioned speech would win you brownie points with your admirers as a crusader for justice. Meanwhile Snape continues to suffer at the hands of your classmates."

"He gives as good as he gets," Lily defended.

Simone looked thoroughly unimpressed with Lily's response, "Yes, in a four on one fight, oftentimes instigated by Potter when Snape's back is turned. The fact that Snape gets in some good hits while fending them off is hardly relevant; the point is they are maliciously targeting him when he is outnumbered and yet they get portrayed as the heroes. Tell me; would you be arguing your point if Snape was a girl? Or a Gyffindor? If some Gyffindor girl was harassed by a group of Slytherins, would you be arguing that she deserves no consideration or defending simply because she held her own against them? I doubt you would."

Simone rolled her shoulders, leaning back on a desk to stretch out, "There's too many double standards here. You have a million excuses for not siding with Snape more because he's a boy, because he's a Slytherin, because you hate his acquaintances, because he's competent. It seems in your mind, victims are people that don't stand up for themselves and those that do should share blame with their attackers for 'retaliating.' Would it be better if Snape suffered in silence every day and was a doormat to the abuse? Then would you see how seriously the offenses against him are?"

Lily made no response, unable to meet Simone's eyes.

"Then there's the fact that you were yet again secretly swooning over Potter's so called charm. You probably found what happened to Snape funny. And you think you're a decent person." Simone's smile was positively dripping in poison.

"I didn't think it was funny!" Lily denied vehemently.

"Oh yea?" Simone asked, walking over to Lily and leaning way into her personal space, "Then why did you smile?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap! Lily didn't see that coming.
> 
> I'm looking forward to what is coming next, I hope you are all too.
> 
> Read and review, and hey, tell your friends :)


	5. Unpleasant Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon hits Lily with some hard facts to swallow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back for more? Glad to hear it!
> 
> So, forewarning, this chapter will be dealing with many tough subjects. The sexualization of women and girls of color and how systemic racism normalized certain types of discrimination will be brought up by Simone. This chapter will also include mentions of child abuse.
> 
> This chapter touches upon the issue of discrimination in Harry Potter. Muggleborns is treated as the big bad thing to be bigoted against and the main focus of the series conflict. But, what about other things were already discriminated against for, like you know...racism. That didn't disappear just because Voldy made an issue of blood status. 
> 
> That isn't to say that discrimination against Muggleborns isn't a big deal in the HP universe. I'm just trying to say that people come down hard on Snape for his prejudices--despite them being the results of neglect and abuse--while there was plenty of other bigotry being ignored in the series. All sorts of bigotry occurred regularly in the series. Class-ism was a big one. Snape was picked on for being poor and of lower class (all the insults about his appearance, hygiene, and clothes are things related to his lack of money to afford clothes, etc), something he can help no more than Lily can help what level of magic her blood is. Ron's family was discriminated against by wealthier wizards. 
> 
> Basically, this chapter is about bringing to light some glaring issues ignored in the series.

* * *

The room fell so deadly silent a wizard could hear a pin drop.

"What?" Lily asked her face paling.

Simone's mean smile only grew, "That's right. You thought no one saw it, didn't you? Well unfortunately for you, me and all my friends did. And I bet we're not the only ones. You smiled, and I can probably figure out why."

Taking Lily's shocked silence as a signal to continue, Simone was more than happy to oblige.

"Who would have thought the kind and noble Lily Evans would find amusement in someone's torment? Really, it is a surprise. Now let's see...why _did_ you smile?"

Simone tapped her chin thoughtfully, "I think you find it flattering that Potter goes so far to impress you. You see how crazy he gets whenever you are around and a part of you likes that you can drive a boy wild to such extremes. In a twisted way, you think 'Wow, he must really like me if he's willing to do _this_ for me.' You must be preening under his attentions. That's why you didn't hex him, that's why you didn't even disarm him."

"That's not true!" Lily stammered.

"Oh I think it is," Simone disagreed, "You love being the center of attention. Don't deny it. A muggleborn girl being constantly praised by her teachers as being smarter than all the purebloods and then a wealthy pureblood vies for your attention. Just like when you first found out you had magic you must feel oh so special. Potter makes you feel like the very earth revolves around and the sun shines out of your arse. And you like that. Sure when he was bothering Snape just for the fun of it, you were mad, but once he started using Snape to bargain for a date with you, you must have felt pretty special. 'Oh this isn't about just hating my friends; it's about me!' News flash, dear: a person giving you an ultimatum to date them or they'll continue harming your friend isn't charming; it's sick."

"I wasn't smiling because of that." Lily insisted angrily. Yes, she found it rather nice to have an admirer, but she didn't want people hurt because of her. She certainly didn't want James to harm anyone just to get her attention. But...she could have just used a spell to stop him like Simone said. Instead she had just stood there throwing around angry words like that would have made a difference to someone as thick headed as Potter.

Lily cringed inwardly with shame. She could have hex him, but she chose not to. The truth was that deep down she had come to enjoy their little back and forth. Potter was so infuriating but yelling at him was sort of...fun. It wasn't like she was flirting with him or anything.

Well maybe she had flirted a little…

 _'Oh god,'_ Lily thought, _' Does James think that means I like when he bullies others?'_

Simone cocked an eyebrow, "Well then what was it? Oh! Could it be that you were happy Snape was being picked on? I heard you two would argue a lot. Or rather, you tell him everything that's wrong with him and make demands. Were you really so mad at him for some petty little dispute that you would enjoy seeing him treated like that? Are you that upset about his choices that you think he deserves to be treated so badly? That's rather petty if you ask me."

"That's not it at all," Lily denied. Inside, her innards were squirming in guilt. She _had_ been upset with Snape that day. He refused to see reason whenever she spoke with him. She had been sick of the excuses, the flimsy reasons for why he hung out with Avery and his lot, for why he never batted an eye when they said anything about muggleborns. She was just so...fed up with it all. Seeing him hang upside down like that, his underwear on display, he looked so absurd. Gone was the self-assured boy who remained stubborn and stone faced to her pleas, in his place was someone who looked...well...rather gobsmacked. It was...humorous.

"I didn't think he deserved it or anything," Lily explained feebly, "I just...well his underwear was showing. That's a little silly. So I smiled."

Simone crossed her arms over her chest, "Really, that was funny to you? Someone essentially had part of their body shown to others—without their _consent_ —and it's funny? I believe you mean its completely despicable."

"It was just his underpants," Lily defended.

"So would it have been funny if it was say...you?" Simone questioned. She fingered her wand contemplatively, "So if I petrified you, dragged you out into the hall right now, flip you upside down and showed off your knickers, you'd be fine with the chuckle everyone got out of it?"

Simone took a threatening step forward.

"Hey!" Mary moved to intervene, but a flick of Simone's wand had her disarmed and stuck to her chair.

Panicking, Lily went for her wand, but another flick and Simone had disarmed her as well. Lily made a run for the door.

" _Petrificus Totalus,"_ Simone said smoothly.

Lily went ramrod straight, unable to move.

"Thea," Simone called, "Would you be a peach and get the door?"

Obediently, Thea went over to the door, her wand drawn to undo the locking spell.

"Now, let's go give the school a show," Simone said sinisterly.

Lily remained frozen, only her wide, horrified eyes able to move.

Suddenly, Simone stepped away from her, "Kidding," Simone grinned, "Public humiliation doesn't sit right with me. Never has."

With a wave of her wand, Simone released the two girls.

"I believe I've made my point," she said.

Lily bawked, "Your point? What point is that?"

Mary pointed at Thea, "And you! Why did you go along with that?"

Thea pocketed her wand and tucked her hands behind her back. "I knew she wasn't going to go through with it," she said confidently, "That's not the kind of person she is."

"And your faith in me is appreciated," Simone stated with a gentle smile before turning her attention back to Lily, "Anyway, my point was this: If it isn't how you wanted to be treated then it isn't how anyone should be treated. You can't have this double standard. It shouldn't matter whether it is a boy or a girl. Being stripped in public is wrong, not funny. The only one who should ever get a say in what part of his body is shown is him. Consent isn't just about what goes on in the bedroom, sweetie; it's about everything to do with your personal autonomy. It's different if a friend pulls your pants down when you are alone; that's just two friend's goofing around the the slight embarrassment stays between you two. Plus, you can openly discuss with them at lengths if it bothered you to ensure it never happens again, But being forced to show something so personal to everyone? How do you think Snape must have felt? I mean, have you even apologized to him for finding it funny? He apologized to you."

"After calling me that horrible name!" Lily pointed out.

"I wondered why," Simone drawled, "Imagine being hung up by your ankles, your undergarments on display and the blood pounding in your ears. Almost everyone you know is there—everyone you hate, everyone who hates you—laughing and pointing, all so hungry for your suffering. Now imagine searching your friend out in the crowd, embarrassed most of all that they had to see you like this. You're hoping maybe they missed it. You hoped that they don't think less of you for being so pathetic, for having practically the whole school hate you. You were unable to stop it, it's your moment of weakness and you hope your friend will be the one friendly face out there, someone upset on your behalf maybe. Imagine how it must feel, Lily, to instead see them smiling, trying not to laugh, as you hang there surrounded by people who despise you."

Simone walked towards Lily, each step punctuated by the sharp staccato of her voice, "How. Would. You. Feel?"

Lily looked away, unable to meet Simone's eyes, "I…I would be hurt." She hadn't really considered all the factors put together. Her focus had been on Potter and Severus. The rest of the crowd just faded away, bystanders she had no thought for other than disgust that they had not intervened. But how must it feel to be someone like Severus and to know that that many people disliked you and actually treated your humiliation like an entertaining show?

Granted Snape wasn't the kindest or most social person, but he barely interacted with the majority of the school. The most anyone usually got from him was a scowl or a short clipped response, maybe a sarcastic remark, but that was it. Snape often times kept to himself; Slytherins were smart enough to not pick fights they couldn't finish and so Snape chose to go under the radar with most students.

Lily hated to say it, but chances are even if Severus didn't hang out with the likes of Avery, he would probably still be picked on and disliked. Because he was Slytherin. He was poor, he was dirty…and Potter had painted a target on his back and people adored the resident Quidditch star.

"I would be very hurt," Lily admitted quietly, "But I didn't mean to smile. It just happened. And I came to his help."

"Your defense means little because you failed to help him in the end. What good is your effort if you weren't giving it your all anyway? Should Snape be grateful you chose to talk Potter into submission? Especially when if the roles had been reversed, he probably would have hex someone from here to Durmstang to defend you?" Simone stated, "If you couldn't help smiling at a friend being devastatingly shamed, then why is it so hard to believe what he said just 'slipped out' by accident?"

"Words like that shouldn't be used so often that they can 'just slip out'," Lily countered.

Simone nodded, "You're right. They shouldn't be. Trust me, I don't approve of Snape's actions any more than you do. But it's just a word. There's far worse things one can go through."

Lily scowled, "We're talking about discrimination here. None of it is acceptable."

Simone shrugged, "Yes, but it's discrimination in the smallest form. Let's be honest, Evans, you're hardly a victim."

"We're muggleborn," Mary cried, incensed.

"You are also blind apparently," was Simone clipped response.

"I beg your pardon?" Lily asked, angry as well.

Simone rolled her eyes, "Face it, Evans, you aren't a minority; there are so many muggles on earth that the rate of muggleborn witches and wizards is always on the rise. There are probably more muggleborns by now than purebloods. Muggles are the majority. I don't just mean in sheer numbers either, but in power too. Think about it, muggles run the world. Wizards don't have the pure destructive force muggles do. Machine guns, Atom bombs…a wizard can kill one person with one spell or maybe poison a little village with a potion—perhaps if they somehow got hold of a Nundu they could take out little over a hundred—but we lack the means to do what muggles do. If muggles wanted to wipe us out, they probably could."

She cracked her neck and stretched before continuing, "Then there's muggleborns in the wizard world. Sure you get called some bad names, maybe get dirty looks, but are you denied jobs? Not with the ministry doing its best to counteract You-Know-Who's anti-muggle sentiments. Do you get denied a proper education? Not at all; in fact schools go out of their way to cater to you. If you haven't noticed we're celebrating Christmas and Halloween instead of Yule and Samhain. Parts of our own wizard heritage is covered up just so that you can leave out cookies for Santa. Places even overturned the archaic marriage laws saying Muggles couldn't marry Wizards. That's a right you have now too. And don't get me started on the laws. Magic in front of a muggle can land someone in Azkaban. We're so terrified of being discovered by muggles with their tanks and missiles that we punish or expel students for accidental magic!"

"That doesn't mean that I should just be okay with being treated unkindly for something I can't even help," Lily pointed out.

Simone raised a hand in placation, "I wasn't saying you should. I'd be a hypocrite—or at the very least, a fool—to try and claim that a person shouldn't be upset about their mistreatment simply because someone else might have it worse. You have every right to be upset. But have some perspective. You get called names, but people will always be there for you. Snape doesn't get that and he can't help being poor or Slytherin anymore than you can help being born to muggle parents. He's discriminated against too; and far more violently than you have been."

"So yes it is awful you get called names or made fun of. It's terrible people try to tell you that you don't belong, but for every bigot you meet, you always have ten more people in this school come out of the woodwork to defend you. You hardly can say you are fighting this alone; you have support. But others do not; Snape doesn't. You don't know what it is like to fight discrimination with so few people in your corner," Simone finished.

She walked over to the window, gazing out over the school grounds, "But I do."

Lily and Mary exchanged a look, utterly baffled.

Simone stared at her reflection, lost in thought, "Borne to a black French debutante, and a white nobleman. Mother raised in France by wealthy merchants, father raised in Wales…born in Jamestown, South Africa. Most of his family is still there."

"Wizard or muggle, color is still an issue everywhere. You probably never noticed. I bet you were raised by open-minded parents, but in a predominantly white neighborhood. You also came to Hogwarts at eleven so most of your childhood has been a sheltered existence when it comes to real prejudice. You're the privileged white girl, unaware of what you take for granted, never witnessing true hatred so you believe it doesn't exist. But me…" Simone paused shaking her head, "White and Black isn't supposed to mix where my father comes from. My parents' marriage was legal in Paris. But no one would willingly acknowledge it in my father's hometown, let alone his country. It took an entire legal battle to ensure they didn't invalidate the marriage under South African Law; my father may not have grown up in South Africa, but he was born there and citizens cannot have interracial marriages, even ones contracted in other countries."

Thea came up besides Simone and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly.

Simone looked at Thea with sad eyes, "It didn't matter how nice my mother dressed when she visited her in-laws, everywhere people thought she was some sort of maid or servant. 'Oh, you must be the hostess. Please show us to a table by the window.' 'I'm sorry miss, but the employee entrance is around back.' People made it clear that they thought she didn't belong. My father tried so hard to push for her inclusion, for fair treatment, but more often than not it fell on deaf ears and eventually, we stopped visiting."

Simone turned to Lily, "My relatives are obligated to keep me in the will to carry on their bloodline, giving us all the legal power we need, but that didn't mean they protected me from their world. And their world was cruel. My relatives' neighbors would tell me I needed to go back where I came from. A local boy rubbed mud on his face and said he was dressing as me for Halloween. My cousins told me I would be pretty if only my skin was lighter. Girls on the street used to pet my hair like I was an animal."

Simone turned to Lily, her eyes stormy, "An old man once pulled me onto his lap in the guise of a hug and said I had some nice plump hips for an _ten year old_ ; that black girls 'sure fill out nice'. Told me to come back and visit him sometime. None of my relatives reprimanded him. They claimed he was just being friendly. In truth, they were disgusted that I existed, because I was a reminder that my father married a black woman and had me. My uncle said that it was like if someone had, and I quote, 'had sex with a horse'!"

Lily was at a loss for words, her mind racing and her heart reaching out to the last person for whom she ever thought she would feel sympathy.

"One time someone set fire to the inn we were staying at. Authorities looked for a culprit but ultimately dismissed it as a random act of arson; the fact that the only two black people were inside that inn didn't mean it was a racially charged attack in their opinion. But the fire was started outside the door to our room," Simone revealed. "Do you get the difference between you and me? You-Know-Who is dangerous, and his followers are vile, but they are held up by society as an example of what not to be. Even if it is just an act by the ministry to promote a positive image, they still enforce laws to protect you, enlists Aurors to fight for you, hand out punishments in schools for discriminatory language. But racism, that's normal, even in the Wizarding World. There are laws in various places of the world banning marriages like my parents'. Laws that keep my mother and me separate from whites and feeling as if we're garbage. In Diagon Alley, I had an Auror who didn't know my family demand that I provide a receipt for my wand because he thought I must have stolen something so pricy!"

Lily stared at Simone unabashedly, "I...I didn't realize..."

Simone shrugged, "Maybe I would feel more sympathy to you if you were a black muggleborn. Then your oppression would be systemic, not some outdated medieval fad revived by a crazy fanatic. Face it Evans, you're from a protected and empowered class regards of how much or how little magic is in your blood."

"I hadn't considered any of that," Lily admitted. She felt awful hearing what Simone had gone through. Growing up at Hogwarts, it hurt whenever someone tried to imply she didn't belong, when a hurtful name was thrown her way, but a teacher was never far off to hand out a detention or let her cry on their shoulder. She was upset and ashamed when she would hear 'Mudblood' being thrown her way, but she never felt unsafe, never truly felt worthless. When the professors were available for career advice, never had they given her limitations in what she could be. She was fighting a war of her own with discrimination, but she was fighting it from the winning side. Simone didn't have that. "I'm sorry," she said finally.

Simone waved her off, "I didn't tell you that to have your pity. Rest assured if you go around spreading that information you will be facing me in the last duel of your life."

Swallowing nervously, Lily nodded.

"The same goes for you," Simone told Mary.

Mary raised her hands in surrender, "Hey, I don't go sharing other people's business. I'm not a gossip."

Simone gave them a curt nod, discreetly pushing her wand back into her pocket, "I appreciate that. And you know it isn't like I can't see where you're coming from. The bigotry you have faced may be small by comparison, but that doesn't mean it isn't something that should be stopped. No one should be made to feel less than a person. So yes, I can see why that name hurts you. I've been called some terrible things in my life too. Maybe I was a little hypocritical in saying it was 'just a word'. So yes, you do have a right to be angry," Simone rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, "I may have gotten a little heated there. It's just...well everyone is so out of sorts for the whole You-Know-Who issue that people are acting like it is the only oppression and discrimination being thrown around here, meanwhile racism has been going on forever and I'm over here just...you know."

Lily took a cautious step forward, "I'm sorry you have to go through things like that, Simone. You're right, no one should be made to feel like they are nothing."

Simone looked away, " Well I suppose I was a bit short with you; don't deserve to be treated badly either. But you know Evans, while I admire your stance on muggleborn equality, I have to say that it sort of comes off as hypocritical."

"Excuse me?" Lily floundered, "How?"

"Because you are only fighting for this cause because it is one that affects _you_. Because it is something that could potentially cause _you_ problems, you got involved. That's not the same as fighting for something purely because you know in your heart that it's the right thing to do," Simone explained.

"I'm not doing this for me," Lily insisted, "I'm doing it because no one should be mistreated."

Simone arched a delicate brow, "Really? Then why aren't you fighting for any other group."

Lily faltered, "What?"

Simone sighed, "In case it has escaped your notice, there are those in the Wizarding World who face worse injustices than muggleborns. In fact, the ministry's failing to help them is the reason they will probably be tricked into fighting on the wrong side of this war."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Werewolves are not allowed to attend school, nor can they hold most jobs. There is no law in place to prevent employers from firing them for their condition," Simone replied, "Half giants and half goblins are also at risk of being fired from positions for being 'half breeds'. Hell, I'm pretty sure half giant usually aren't even allowed to attend school or teach; my mother said her headmistress was very adamant she was just 'big boned' to avoid anyone finding out her heritage and sacking her."

Simone paced the room as she spoke, "Centaurs have lost most of their land because wizards deemed the ownership of forests to be something you can only claim if you have money, not centuries of your tribe born and raised there. There are no real protocols in place for peacekeeping with angry Giants other than to just wipe them out because they are deemed as too unintelligent to be reasoned with. Goblins are seen as money grubbing, greedy monsters and it is allowed in our very own school for a professor to teach biased and inaccurate accounts of the Goblin Wars, even though our curriculum was supposed to be covering the Bestiary Classification Act this year! And do _not_ get me started on House Elves."

Mary and Lily were stunned at Simone's outburst.

"You're really very passionate about this," Mary observed.

"As I should be," Simone threw back, "No one should be made to feel inadequate or worthless. House Elves are slaves with no escape and we have yet to find a way to free them of the mindset of servitude. I care about my House Elves; they're like family to me. How any child can be raised by such kind creatures and not grow to care about them as people instead of objects is beyond me. And we would barely survive at school if it wasn't for House Elves. Who do you think has your favorite meal on the table in the Great Hall when you're missing home, finds your familiar when the furry bastards gotten lose, fixed the doll you broke and didn't know how to mend? That's all them; they do it because they care about us."

"I didn't realize they did so much for us." Lily stated. Though it did make sense. Once in her first year at Hogwarts, Lily received her first and only reply from Petunia. It had been so hurtful and cruel that she had shredded it instantly in a fit of tears. It was only after she had calmed down that she was dismayed to realize she had destroyed her parents' letter with it, their kind and comforting words strewn across the floor. She went to bed in tears that night. In the morning however, she was shocked to find the letter whole again, sitting innocently on her nightstand with a warm cup of tea and biscuits besides it. She never learned who did it. "They really do all that?"

Simone nodded, "They do."

"If this cause is so important to you, than why don't you do more about it?" Mary asked.

"I do," Simone said, pulling a small square out of her pocket. Enlarging it, she held it out to Lily, "My club's flyer. It's by invite only because unfortunately some people would only come to cause trouble if they knew a Slytherin was running it."

Lily took the flyer and examined it. On it, there was a picture of a long fingered, knobby knuckled arm shaking hands with a hand covered in fur. Emblazoned across the picture was the words "Creature United Citizens Union: Fight for equality now!" Every now and then the picture would change to a hoofed foot with a shackle on it; the shackle breaking apart the next moment.

"It kills me that no real progress is being made on any of these matters," Simone lamented, taking the flyer back and shrinking it down again, "With so little options for them in the Wizarding World, I'm sure many magical beings will be seduced by any cheap promise You-Know-Who will give them. We'll lose valuable allies simply because we are too stuck in age old prejudices to give magical creatures a chance. Not even Dumbledore is doing anything."

"That's not true," Lily interjected, "What about—"

Next to Simone, Thea shook her head frantically.

Lily stopped, "You didn't tell her?" she asked, eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. Thea didn't blab about Remus?

"Tell who what?" Mary questioned.

Thea shook her head, "It isn't my secret to tell."

"if it is about whatever was in that file Thea found, she won't tell me a thing. And I can respect that," Simone said.

Lily graced Thea with a genuine smile, "Thank you."

"Lily, what are you talking about," Mary asked, her voice starting to take on the slight whine it always got when friends left her out of something.

Lily shared a glance with Thea.

"It isn't my secret to tell," she replied, echoing Thea's words.

"Oh come on!" Mary pouted, crossing her arms.

Lily giggled at her friends antics. After a minute, she turned to Simone, a frown crossing her face, "Listen…I may have judged you too quickly. You actually are a pretty nice person under all that snark. I never realized because—"

"Because I was Slytherin," Simone offered.

Lily bit her lip, "It's not that. I mean…"

Simone held up a hand, "Relax, it doesn't surprise me. Look, I know you try very hard to tell yourself that House doesn't matter, but the truth is we've all had it drilled into our heads since we first came to Hogwarts. Sometimes it is hard to tune out. To a degree we get influenced by our Houses if we aren't careful."

Lily nodded, relieved Simone understood, "Right. So do you think we can start over?"

"Don't misunderstand, I'm not looking to make a friend. Frankly I think our personalities may...clash a bit," Simone said.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Fine, not friends. Could we at least agree to not to antagonize each other anymore?"

"Oh, but it's so much fun," Simone cooed.

"Please," Lily groaned out.

Simone considered this, "Fine. Can you do me a favor first?"

"Sure. Anything," Lily replied.

Simone put both her hands firmly on Lily's shoulders and looked her square in the eye, "I really think you should reconsider you decision to cut Snape out of your life."

Lily blinked, she hadn't been expecting that. "Why?"

"Because you mean more to him than you can ever imagine," Simone told her.

Lily shrugged off Simone's hands, uncomfortable with where this conversation was going, "Look, I get it now that Severus was under a lot of stress when he said what he said, but there's more to it than that. It's not just the word that bothers me."

"You don't like the direction he's heading in," Simone guessed.

Lily nodded, "Severus told me blood didn't matter, but each year the boy that told me that disappears a little bit more. I hardly recognize him anymore. He brandies that insult so casually with his friends, defends their worst actions. H-he practices Dark Magic."

Simone tilted her head, watching Lily thoughtfully, " Is that so bad? To understand Dark Magic is to prepare yourself against it. Not every bit of the dark arts can be fought with light spells. Even I can see the appeal in Dark Arts at least from an academic standpoint. Many dark spells were the acts of desperate eras and empires, last resorts for protection and conquest. I imagine for someone mistreated as often as Snape, there is an appeal there; something he can relate to his own plight that draws him in.

"That spell he used on Potter to cut him was awful!"

"But Potter and Black nearly drowned him with that cleaning charm," Thea pointed out, coming to Snape's defense.

"That's different," Lily claimed, "That's light magic."

"What's light or dark really depends on the intention of the user, if you ask me," Simone told Lily, "Potter wanted to hurt Snape, what spell he used isn't important."

Lily frowned, "But the law clearly states—"

Simone cut her off, "The law isn't perfect. Did you know there was a case back in the 50's involving a witch who drowned her children on dry land?"

Lily paled, "What?"

Simone hummed, "It was tragic. She planned to run away with her lover, so she used Scourgify to flood their mouths with water and bubbles. They died in their beds."

"Why are you telling me this?" Lily asked, turning a sickly shade of green.

Simone's eyes were hard, "Because she wasn't nearly as vilified as a woman who used Avada Kervada to give her child a mercy killing after both of them were brutally beaten to near death by the woman's boyfriend. The mother killed her child to spare her from the pain, then took her own life and she was declared post humorously a murderer." Simone gestured in front of her, hands open in a pleading gesture, "Do you see what I mean; one mother acted in malice, the other in mercy, but the one who killed for selfish reasons was viewed in a better light by the media because she used light magic. Any spell can be dark; it's all about intentions. Throughout history people have resorted to desperate, even dark measures to ensure the safety of themselves and those they love most. Things aren't black and white Evans. Maybe instead of condemning Snape right off the bat, you should consider why he does what he does."

Lily eyed Simone warily, "Snape hangs out with those rotten friends of his because he wants respect, power. Anyone can see that."

"Yes, but why does he want that?" Simone asked, "Is it so unusual for the powerless to want power when it is offered to them? Why is it so important that Snape, the halfblood, be in the good graces of Avery, a notorious blood purist?"

"Snape's a halfblood?" an utterly stunned Mary asked.

"Yes and it puts Snape in a very precarious position in Slytherin House," Simone explained.

Confusion colored Lily's face, "They don't care that he's a halfblood because he's Slytherin."

Simone sighed, "No, they tolerate his blood because he's Slytherin; they don't torment him because he does whatever they say. Snape pretends to be pureblood to keep up appearances, but Avery has probably been schooled on family bloodlines since he was a child; I doubt his parents wanted him accidentally befriending someone who didn't have the noblest of family trees. Snape isn't a wizard surname; Avery would have sniffed that out on day one. Malfoy, that old prefect we had would have known too. How safe do you think Snape would have been in a dormitory of blood purist who have inklings to join You-Know-Who?"

"Severus told me Slytherins look out for their own," Lily offered weakly. A sickening feeling was beginning in her stomach.

Simone shook her head, "In public, they do. Don't get me wrong, most of the Slytherins are lovely people if you get to know them, but behind close doors, the strongest and most ruthless rule. I heard it wasn't always like this; from how Slughorn talks, Slytherin was once pretty normal like any of the other Houses. But sometime before You-Know-Who came about, sentiments turned. Now the most bigoted tend to be the most vocal and controlling. If you aren't a pureblood, you better find one who can protect you. That's what Snape did. And even then that doesn't protect him from his own friends."

Lily felt sick, "They hurt him?"

"From what I've seen, Avery likes to practice curses on friend and foe alike. I believe he's even put Mulciber in the hospital wing before. They later blamed it on Potter and his friends to cover their tracks," Thea piped up softly, her innocent doe-like eyes making the words falling from her mouth so out of place.

Lily's face was turning green again.

"That's sick!" Mary cried, "I mean, I don't care what happens to Mulciber, but Avery doing that to everyone else? What about the younger kids?"

Simone shrugged, "If they make strong connections and stay out of his way they can mainly avoid his wrath. The trick is to stay under the radar. Unfortunately Snape attracted attention to himself by showcasing his skills from the beginning; there was no way he could have stayed hidden from Avery's gaze."

"But he wants to be like them!" Lily protested, "He thinks just as badly of muggleborns as they do. I've heard what he says with his friends and how he laughs at their awful jokes and pranks."

"Snape wants power," Simone countered, "and frankly I can see why. He's been the underdog for so long, in a misguided way his thirst for power and notoriety is a way of protecting himself. In his mind, if he grows strong enough, he'll be untouchable; he'll be safe. He's a bitter kid who's sick of being kicked around and with not enough adults actually sticking their necks out for him, he's recklessly going about it his own way."

"Look," Simone continued, "I don't blame you for being uncomfortable with who he hangs out with. The thing I hate most is bullies; they're just future criminals in my opinion. I wouldn't want a friend to hang around white supremacists. But you can't just demand he cut ties with them. It's too dangerous. I saw you at the portrait hole, you felt that he needed to stop hanging around Avery if he truly wanted to win you back. You want Snape to stand up and openly declare his support of muggleborns like a Gryffindor would. But doing that when you sleep in the same room as a cruel sociopath just isn't possible, let alone sane."

"Okay so you have a point there, but he still hates muggles and muggleborns," Lily persisted. ' _Even though he told me blood didn't matter'_. Severus would never know just how much she took those words to heart and how shattered she was to know he lied.

"Well think about the muggleborns he's met here," Simone suggested. He's in a predominantly pureblood house—those who are halfblood or muggleborn keep it to themselves—and most of the muggleborns are in the other houses...the houses that all carry the same belief that Slytherins are evil. They were probably already thinking badly of him the moment he was sorted and then James comes along, in the 'brave and noble' house of Godric himself and goes after Snape for the house he's in. Most of the school goes along with it because they are being fed the same 'Slytherins are evil' nonsense as everyone else. If most of the school is laughing at his misery, than statistically, a number of them are muggleborns. People that should side with the halfblood over the pureblood but don't. Snape's going to warp that in his mind the more bitter he becomes. He's not been given many examples of good muggleborns and I doubt he's met many nice muggles, has he?"

"I don't know. He never spoke of any muggle he knew back home," Lily admitted.

"Evans, how much do you know of Snape's home life?" Simone asked out of the blue.

Lily blinked, "Well I...I mean he said his family doesn't get along well. I know it isn't the best of circumstances."

Simone frowned, disappointed, "That all you've got? Because what I see when I look at Snape is this: a boy in secondhand robes, so he must be poor. A boy who cares little for his hygiene; he's neglected and not used to taking care of appearances, a boy who flinches if you approach him too fast, who tenses when you touch him and who's guard was up before Potter and Black ever started going after him...with a non-magical surname his father must be a muggle...how does _he_ feel about magic?"

"Um...I suppose he doesn't like it very much. That's what Sev said at least," Lily replied hesitantly.

Simone placed a finger to her lips, thinking, "So a man living in poverty married to a witch when he dislikes or hates magic and a magical son who is wary of touch and always on guard of an attack...what does that tell you?"

Lily laughed, disbelieving, "You can't mean..." she faltered, "I mean there's just no way...I" she paused, staring at Simone in horror, "You're saying that he...?"

Simone watched Lily pityingly, "It all adds up. Tell me I'm wrong."

Fretting, Lily ran a hand through her hair, the disheveled way it fell giving her a rather manic appearance, "But Sev never told me!"

"Not everyone can talk about terrible things like that," Simone admitted sadly, "Not everyone's parents are kind, Evans."

Mary couldn't keep silent any longer, "Hang on, are you saying Snape's dad beats him?"

"Or at the very least mistreats him. It's still pretty common for kids to be severely mistreated under the guise of 'discipline', I'm afraid," Simone stated, "Why else would Snape have such a hatred of muggles when he himself is half one? Plenty of prejudices stem from someone generalizing a group based on a bad experience with one or two individuals. It would have shaped how he views muggles as a whole. He's a young man who has been shown a lot of hate from an early age and worse yet from someone he should be able to trust. He took that hate and gave it back in turn. It's all he knows how to respond with anymore. Does any other muggle give him trouble back home?"

Lily bit her lip, "Well...my sister calls him awful things all the time because he's a wizard...and poor."

"So he has two prominent muggles in his life who treat him badly because he has magic; that would make him easy pickings for the propaganda You-Know-Who and his lot are preaching. It turns that bitterness and abuse into a desire for revenge. Snape's alone in this world as far as the adults are concerned and Snape himself thinks so too. He told me he believes there are no future prospects for him due to his poverty and blood status. With anyone else, I'd call that a load of crap, but with Snape...I don't see any professors sticking their necks out for him to help him get a prestigious job. He's talented but it will all go to waste because he's a nobody as far as society is concerned. Now he has Avery and his goons promising him that You-Know-Who will give him the power to get vengeance on his enemies and protect himself from anyone else that wants to hurt him, as well as give him all the opportunities he thought he would never get. Of course he's going to latch onto that chance. And it's doubtful Snape even knows he's getting played."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"They're using him, Evans. Snape is just a pawn for them to exploit. His knowledge, his skill. They'll promise him anything in exchange for that. He's practically a prodigy. I know some of them have him doing their homework. Once they get all they want from him, he'll probably be thrown away or handed over to You-Know-Who as low level canon fodder to die in pointless raids and attacks while he keeps his pureblood higher ranked followers close. In their eyes he's a pitiful and desperate halfblood," Simone said simply, "If Snape sticks with them, he's going to wind up dead. And they won't mourn him."

"They're awful," Lily said, her lip trembling, "They knew what was happening to him and instead of helping him they're taking advantage of him. They practiced curses on him, used him to get good grades and they've just been laughing behind his back; knowing what he's been through!"

"And none of them came to his aid with Potter by the lake," Simone added, "Don't you get it Evans, you were the only real friend he had. And probably the only one who can truly get through to him. But you can't do it by making demands or belittling his choices."

"So what do you propose I do?" Lily asked.

"Talk to him," Simone pleaded, "Really talk to him and this time, listen. Inside Snape is a boy who needs to be heard. Even if he is wrong, even if the choices he's made and the conclusions he has drawn are not right, he still deserves to be heard. That's the whole reason he started spiraling out of control to begin with; because no one would listen except the people who told him what he wanted to hear. If the professors aren't going to be there for him, then we need to. So...will you talk to him?"

Lily bit her lip, "I don't know...this is all so much to take in. I-I need some time. Can I think about it?"

Simone shrugged her shoulders, heading for the door, "It's your choice. But don't take too long; we leave here in two days."

Simone looked deep into Lily's eyes, "Before I leave, know this: You mean more to Snape than anyone in the world. If there is anyone who could pull him off this path, it would be you," she shouldered her book bag, "I'm sorry if that puts undue pressure on you, but it's the truth." She made her way to the door, Thea in tow.

"It just so hard to believe your really this caring underneath," Lily mused aloud, "I mean, your reputation...what you did to that girl...you scared her right out of the school."

Simone paused, her back to Lily, "You act like that's something I'm proud of."

Turning her head, she looked back at Lily, "I've been told I have a bit of a temper," she admitted.

"A bit?" Mary snorted.

Simone chose to ignore her, "Look I know what I did was taking it too far, but she just made me so mad. I don't like bullies, so I acted...trouble is once I was done, everyone was looking at me like I was the bully. Sort of like I had beheaded the Scylla, but then ended up as one of the heads that grew back in it's place. It wasn't my proudest moment. Maybe she wasn't so bad; for all I know she could have had some reason for being so mean. Guess I'll never find out, now. But I'd do it again; no one messes with those I care about."

"You do realize that sort of makes _you_ a hypocrite, right?" Mary pointed out.

Simone waved her off, "That's a matter of perspective," she insisted stubbornly.

"It's really not..." Mary muttered.

"So then why let the rumors about you persists?" Lily asked, "Why not just be nice and show people you aren't some monster like they think you are?"

Simone flashed a wry grin, "Because I'm a Slytherin, my dear. I must use whatever I can to my advantage. The mystery around me gives me some level of anonymity. I'm unpredictable so I'm untouchable and that means I'll be left alone. I'd be a fool to pass up that when so many of my house have to be targeted and ridiculed daily for having a green tie."

Simone unlocked the door and stepped out into the hall.

"Give my words some thought, alright?" she asked of Lily. Then she left, Thea by her side.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter down. Huzzah!
> 
> It always bothered me how the biggest discrimination issue in Harry Potter seems to be all about muggles and muggleborns. This was the 70's people, when we still had rampant racism in many places all over the world. Yes by the 70's America at least was repealing old laws and making changes, but racism was still treated more as something that "just happened" and people expected rather than something to be abhorred. But the HP universe...it's like that doesn't even exist and everyone is crying over how big and bad voldy is for his discrimination. I have even heard people refer to the word Mudblood as a racial slur...Being magical isn't racial! If anything, magic being something some people have and others do not even when their families are or are not magical is closer to an analogy of being gay; your parents might be straight, but you might not be. And yes discrimination is wrong in all forms, but it does sort of bug me that in a Universe where goblins, house elves, werewolves, and giants are treated as sub humans that struggle to find work or lack laws protecting them, we freak out over anti-muggle sentiments the most. When muggles (and presumably muggleborns) outnumber everyone else and live in a society where laws are in place protecting them. I mean, the Ministry openly decried Voldermort's actions.
> 
> I hope this chapter and its themes did not offended or make anyone uncomfortable. I regret to confess that some examples of racism, particularly the horse comment, were taken from a racist family member or two of mine, in regards to their own stepchild. Needless to say, I do not speak to my Uncle. I hope my readers can see why I felt it necessary to add this to my story; in a series about fighting someone and their bigotry, it seemed strange that more focus on current issues of that time regarding discrimination outside of magic wasn't discussed. Please share with me your thoughts.
> 
> Next chapter, we see how Lily processes all the info she just had dropped on her and we'll be fleshing Mary out.
> 
> Read and Review please


	6. The Wool is Lifted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily has some thinking to do, and Mary offers a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back everybody! Anyone glad to see me? *waits patiently as only crickets are heard*
> 
> ...Anyway! Here is the next chapter of our saga.
> 
> I wanted to flesh out Mary some. Many writers portray Mary as a bitchy, mean spirited girl who worships the ground the Marauders walk on and advises Lily away from trusting Snape, but when I read canon that description just doesn't sit right with me.
> 
> Mary told Lily that Snape was outside the portrait hole and refusing to leave. She didn't have to do that. She could have easily left him there, not told Lily he was outside and sicced Potter and pals on him if she wanted to. She could have left him sitting out there all night if she wanted, with Lily none the wiser that he was there. But instead she told Lily he wasn't going to leave until she spoke to him. The way I see it, Mary sounds like a girl considerate enough not to actively hurt Severus and while not a fan of him, as Lily references her friends do not like Snape, she has the sense to know it wasn't really her place to be telling Lily what choices to make, instead respecting Lily's ability to decide for herself, enough so that she would inform her of Severus being outside so that Lily can choose for herself whether to mend or break the friendship.
> 
> Something other people seem to forget with Mary is that she is a victim of severe bullying herself, in that an unknown dark spell was used on her by Mulciber. She has good reason to dislike Snape because he defends what happened, much like how Snape was infuriated about Lily defending Potter. And still Mary chose not to be spiteful that night outside the portrait hole.
> 
> We never learn what the spell was that was used on Mary but presumably it was not worthy of an expulsion as Mulciber was still very much in school after the attack. So it was something cruel, but excusable, probably something treatable that therefore was deemed an unfortunate accident that Mulciber could explain away as having not known the consequences of. But given the vicious streak of many Death Eaters, combined with what usually happens to women of minority groups during hate crimes, I imagine Mary was expecting something far more sinister from Mulciber and that such fears greatly impacted her actual reaction to the attack, thus shaping her own opinion of Slytherins and in part shaping Lily's own anger.

* * *

 

The school grounds were flowing with life and activity that late sunny afternoon. Another round of exams and finals done with, the students were sprawled across various warm patches of the grassy knoll, just soaking in the remaining sunlight and trying to forget the arduous undertaking they had just endured locked inside the testing halls.

Here and there, students chased each other or played Exploding Snap, the winners taking home quite impressive hauls of left over Honeydukes candy from the last Hogsmeade visit. Others had hiked up their robes and waded knee deep into the lake, skipping stones and splashing one another. A few more daring of their classmates had shucked off their outer layers and were swimming, carefree and unconcerned that a professor may catch them,

Underneath a willow tree, Lily sat staring vacantly out across the water, her mind a million minds away.

Sitting next to her, Mary fiddled aimlessly with a loose string on her book bag.

"Well today has certainly been eventful," Mary said finally when it seemed Lily wasn't going to break the tension.

Lily did not respond, her eyes looking but not seeing as she gazed upon the ripples fanning out across the placid surface of the lake.

Mary stretched awkwardly, loudly sucking in air between her teeth and humming out a nonsensical tune to fill the silence, "That stuff about Snape, huh? I never would have guessed. Well, I mean I suppose it makes some sense, you know? Should have really expected it after how skinny and pale he looks when he comes back to school each year."

Still Lily did not reply.

Mary looked around them, decidedly uncomfortable, "Remember the year he had that huge lump on his nose? It looked broken. I figure he had just walked into a wall while reading or something since he always has his head in a book. But now...a-and he's always wearing long sleeves, even at the beginning of the year when it's still so warm," She laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head, "I guess maybe the signs should have been obvious, huh?"

"Mary...am I a bad friend?" Lily asked quietly.

Mary blinked, "What?"

"With Snape," Lily clarified, "Have I been a bad friend?"

Mary stared at Lily, unsure what to say.

"I've known Severus for years," Lily went on, "We grew up together. I knew his home life wasn't the best. His parents were always arguing; about money, about magic. He didn't like to talk about it much, but I knew he wasn't fond of his father. But...I never thought it would be this bad. It never crossed my mind that there was more than he was letting on."

Mary listened quietly, a hand on her friend's shoulder.

Playing with a blade of grass, Lily continued, "You know, sometimes he would come by the park with bruises. He always told me he got into a fight with some local kids; and I always believed him too. I also thought it was strange that he wore jackets during the summer no matter how hot it got, but he told me he was fine. I used to try to invite him to the beach with me and my family too. He'd refuse, tell me he didn't have any trunks. But if I offered to let him borrow some of my dad's he's get so mad, told me he wasn't a charity case. I know he hated being pitied and given handouts, but I never saw him get as upset as those times...he didn't want me to see what was under his clothes; that's why he got so defensive. I know that now."

Lily turned to Mary, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, "Mary, how could I have never noticed? The signs were all there and I ignored them because it was unpleasant and I didn't want to think about it. I'm a terrible person!"

"No you're not," Mary said, "You were a kid; you could barely understand what was going on. It shouldn't be on you or Snape to fix this. The police or his neighbors, even his mother, any of them should have stepped in long ago and stopped this."

"Why didn't he tell me, though?" Lily asked brokenly, "I could have done something. I could have told my parents."

"And they would have gone to the authorities who would have been told by Snape's dad that everything was just peachy and they'd leave it at that," Mary replied, "And then he probably would have gone after Snape for telling someone."

"How do you know that?" Lily asked.

"Because I've seen it happen," Mary admitted, "Back home, abusive spouses or parents weren't unheard of. People just didn't bring it up in polite conversation; people kept it to themselves. They'd turn a blind eye to what was happening next door, tell themselves there was more to the story than the side they were seeing. And victims never asked for help."

"But why wouldn't they?" Lily inquired, frustrated.

"Because they didn't think they would be believed. Worse they thought they deserved it. Look, I had this neighbor named Mrs. Rigby. She was a friend of my mum's...her husband used to beat on her pretty bad. She would cover it up with makeup or wear long sleeves and high collars and sunglasses. She'd tell my mum she had brought it on herself; she burnt the roast or bothered him during the big game. She honestly believed she deserved it and I bet that bastard told her that she did all the time. She was also worried about their kids; she thought if he hurt her, he'd leave the kids alone."

"That's awful," Lily said.

Mary nodded, "Tell me about it. Her and mum used to talk about it all the time when they thought I was out of earshot, but they never went to the police. It wouldn't have done them any good. She tried once and they didn't believe her after questioning her husband. He was a charmer. Most of the neighborhood saw an upstanding citizen, the perfect gentleman."

"What happened to her?" Lily asked.

Mary shrugged, "She and her family moved away the year before I entered Hogwarts. I remember my mum crying when they left; we never heard from Mrs. Rigby again. She said she would write to us, but she never did," Mary sighed sadly, "Wherever she is, I hope she's wearing short sleeves."

Lily sniffled, "So...Severus thinks he deserves it?"

Mary shook her head, "I doubt it; Snape strikes me as the kind who gets really bitter about the lot he's dealt and how he _doesn't_ deserve it. Just look at him with Potter; even when Snape does actually instigate something, he never thinks he deserves what James does in retaliation. No, I think Snape hates what he goes through but thinks he has no choice. We can't use magic outside of school unless it's for self-defense, and what kid wants others to know he had defend himself from his own father? Maybe he even is used to this; if it's gone on since he was little, he could just have grown accustom to telling himself it wasn't a big deal and believing his own denial. Maybe Simone is right and he just started telling himself that this was how muggles are. Chances are he never would have told you."

"But why is that?" Lily persisted, "He should know he can trust me."

"You said it yourself; he hates pity," Mary said, "I bet Snape thinks that asking for help would be like admitting some sort of shameful weakness."

"But he's not weak," Lily protested, "There's nothing shameful about being mistreated. If anything, the one who should be ashamed is his father!"

"I know that, and you know that, but who knows what could be going on inside Snape's head," Mary offered.

Lily pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them, "I used to know what went on in his head," she lamented, "Or I thought I did. We've drifted apart so much over the years. There was a time I really thought I understood him, but everything keeps changing. I never thought he would ever call me a mudblood...I never thought I would ever call him that awful name Potter came up with...we both let each other down..." she sighed, "I just wish he would have told me about this. At the very least I would have been there for him."

"I know you would have," Mary soothed, "You care about him."

Lily huffed, "I have a funny way of showing it. I have spent the last year yelling at him or ignoring him for not agreeing with me. I never asked why he was hanging around those jerks in his House; I just berated him for it. I thought that he hung around them because he shared their beliefs, that he had lied to me when he said blood didn't matter, but I never realized that he might have seen siding with them because it meant some manner of safety, that they were preying on his fears and anger and using him."

Lily buried her face in her hands, "I didn't even bother trying to understand what he had against muggles. Hell, my own sister spent years making fun of him for his magic, for how he looked and how poor he was. Is it really any wonder he doesn't have much good to see in muggles? I know he's stubborn. He's easily set in his ways and he's one to hold a grudge. It's why we got along and why we didn't; we're so much alike. But I expected him to see my side of things without ever stopping to see his."

Mary watched her friend sadly, "Don't beat yourself up too badly. I know you want to sort things out with Snape, but keep in mind, he did say something pretty awful to you. I get he was going through a lot right then and emotions were high, but you can't outright forgive him for that. Make he understand how it hurt you. He needs to understand that he can't just refrain from saying it around you; he shouldn't say it at all, about anyone. Hang ups with muggles aside, he can't treat others like they are lesser when he himself hates it when people do it to him. He's got to work on this."

Lily nodded, eyes set in determination, "You're right. I need him to listen to me on at least that. I don't want to be a special circumstance with him; if he is going to promise never to say it to me again, he needs to be willing to not say it about anyone else. I just hope he is willing to listen to me. I'm not sure how well he will respond to me when I've been so hypocritical."

Mary tilted her head, "How do you mean?"

"I defended Potter," Lily responded, her eyes red rimmed and watery, "I hated what Potter did, but I still defended it as being better than what Avery or Mulciber would do. I told him it was different when Potter did it, that what magic he used mattered when in truth all that should have mattered was that he wanted to hurt someone just the same as Avery and his friends did. I should have stood by Severus' side. But I always listened to everyone else' side of the story. Even Lupin has said that Snape gives as good as he gets, but how much of that is true and how much of it is just a friend covering for a friend? It seems so out of character for Severus to attack when he is outnumbered; especially when he knows Sirius fights dirty. I have no doubt he has gone after James or Sirius when they are on their own, but the other times...I'm not so sure now. But when he needed me to believe him I sided with everyone else because there version sounded more convincing. And that's where everything went wrong. Every time I pulled away he just fell a little farther back into Avery's clutches. They pretended they cared and he turned to them when he had no one else. I'm so stupid."

Mary patted Lily's back, "You're not stupid. You aren't the only one who has made mistakes like that."

Lily dabbed at her eyes, "Oh yeah? Who else has done something like this?"

"Most of the school actually. Remember what Mulciber did to me? Everyone was up in arms about the spell and not the crime itself," Mary said softly.

That made Lily pause, "Mary?" she turned to look at her friend.

Mary's expression was blank, closed off, the fringe of her bangs creating a shadow that hid her eyes from Lily under the shade of the tree. Looking out to the horizon, Mary shifted uncomfortably, "Mulciber's curse was one meant to work like a really bad allergic reaction. From what I've heard it was in style years ago for the purpose of killing off rivals and making it look like an accident. Everyone would just assume the person got stung by a bee or something. Madam Pomfrey said the swelling to my tongue was so severe that instead of choking to death, my tongue could have very well burst and I would have bled to death if she hadn't treated me in time. If a prefect hadn't come along and found me in the hallway..."

She shuddered, shaking the thought away, "Afterwards all anyone could talk about was that it was dark magic he had used on me. That's what everyone was upset about. Not that he attacked me, not that he hurt me, but that he did it with the dark arts. It just became another piece of Hogwarts 'Slytherins are evil' campaign. 'This proves it, this makes them evil!' Lily, I was left scared and crying—suffocating—in that hallway and everyone was more worked up over the spell than that I was targeted at all."

Mary took a deep breath, rubbing at her eyes furiously before continuing, "It shouldn't matter what they did to me, Lily. They could have done anything to me and it would have been wrong regardless. Do you know what they _could_ have done to me? What I thought they were going to do? I was a girl alone in a hall with three boys. Worst things could have happened to me! Things I would probably never be able to get over. And they wouldn't have even needed magic to do it. It still would have been wrong, dark magic or not. It shouldn't matter whether they hexed me or held me down and shaved my hair off or worse. They attacked me; that should be the focus."

"Oh Mary," Lily pulled her friend into a hug, one that was eagerly accepted, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I didn't mean to act like the spell mattered more than you."

Mary hiccuped, "I know you didn't. I get that you were on the outs with Snape over his friends pranks already and it probably struck a cord with you that they did something to prove you right, but it hurts, you know? I felt alone and it would have been nice to have some more focus on me than on the culprits. In a way, it felt like giving them all that attention was just giving them more power. They want to be dark wizards, I imagine everyone freaking out about how evil they are probably did great for their egos."

"I'm really sorry," Lily repeated, "You're right; you should have come first. It was you who mattered most there, not your attackers. You still matter more than them and what happened to you is still terrible and undeserved. I swear I would have been angry about it even if they had just hexed your hair green," she added impassioned.

Mary managed a weak smile, "I know you would. I'm still mad at everyone else though."

"That's understandable," Lily agreed. She dug around in her bag and offered Mary a handkerchief.

Mary took it with a quiet 'thank you' and wiped her eyes, "I began to wonder if they had used light magic instead...would anyone had been outraged then? Or would it had been brushed off as 'just a laugh' the way everyone does when Potter hexes someone?"

"Of course not," Lily protested, but she was cut off by Mary.

"That night Snape threatened to sleep outside the portrait hole all night unless you talked to him...I could have just gone to bed without telling you. I could have just let him stay out there all night. And I was tempted to; he would have deserved it after what he called you and to be honest I was mad that he was even associated with Mulciber. It would have served him right. But..."

"But?" Lily prompted.

"But I kept thinking to back by the lake...how everyone was pointing and laughing at him...like it was entertaining somehow to see him like that. I don't know, maybe before I was attacked I would have laughed too, but now I just think about how I felt with those Slytherins laughing at me as I choked. I was crying, terrified and they found it hilarious. Under all that fear I was mad. How could they think treating a person like that was funny? Before he left, Mulciber said that if I died, it would be what I deserved because I was a mudblood. Because I existed...James said something similar about Snape when he had him strung up by the lake. He said Snape deserved it because he existed."

_'And that was after the time his rotten friend Sirius nearly killed Severus,'_ Lily thought bitterly.

Mary's voice recaptured her attention, "When Snape showed up at the portrait whole, I wondered how he must have felt to have so many eyes on him, laughing at him as if he were worthless. I still hear Mulciber laughing in my nightmares sometimes; I wonder if Snape hears James' or Sirius' laughter when he goes to sleep."

Lily's eyes filled with tears yet again, caught between sympathy for Mary and her pain, and grief at realizing all the torment Severus must have been through emotionally all these years. "Oh, Mary," she whimpered, holding Mary tightly, as much for her friend's comfort as for her own.

"So you're not a bad person, Lily" Marry assured the redhead, "We're all guilty of turning a blind eye to what goes on around this school. We've all let our own prejudices color our opinions and it has sort of gotten in the way of seeing the full story. Petty things like house rivalry clouds everyone's judgment at one point or another and in truth it prevents us from doing the right thing. But what do you expect? We're teenagers, we make mistakes. You'll find that hormones and emotions make us do spectacularly stupid things," she joked.

Lily choked out a laugh, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But I still feel awful," she leaned against Mary, her head on the brunette girl's shoulder, "When Severus called me a mudblood, I was shocked, but more than that I was hurt. He intentionally used the very thing he knew would cause me the most pain. He knows how much it hurts me to know there are others who believe I don't belong. He knows why it bothers me; because I already am lost to the world I was born in. I'll never truly fit in with muggles and people like my sister have ensured I'll never forget it. So the wizarding world is supposed to be where I can truly belong. And then a bunch of purebloods come along and tell me I shouldn't be here either, that I don't deserve to wield a wand."

Lily looked at Mary, "I knew Severus didn't mean what he said, but somehow that makes it more hurtful; that he would be willing to use the one thing that would hurt me, not because he meant it, but simply because he could. It would be like…if…" she sighed, "It would be like me calling him Snivellous and making fun of his underpants when I know very well he can't afford new ones,' She groaned, burying her face in her hands, "this is all so screwed up,"

"Sounds like you both let your tempers get the best of you," Mary observed keenly.

Lily nodded, "While I'm still mad at him, I think I get why he lashed out at me. It's the same reason I lashed out at him; because the opinion of those you care for matters the most. Severus must have hated everyone taunting him, but imagine how he felt when he saw me trying not to smile. I'm supposed to be his best friend and there I was acting like I was condoning Potter's behavior, like I agreed with him that Severus deserved it. It's why it hurt when he called me that name; I can take the purebloods mocking me and calling my blood dirty, but my best friend is supposed to tell me they're wrong and that my blood makes no difference. We both went too far that day; I guess I was too upset to see that."

"Sounds like Simone was right; we Gryffindors see too much in black and white," Mary teased.

"More like reds and greens," Lily shot back with a small smile, "But I hate that's she's right. I can see now she isn't so bad once you get to know her but…ugh! She still just rubs me the wrong way. So rude and sarcastic."

"She sounds a lot like Snape, if you ask me," Mary mused.

Lily shook her head, "No, they're completely different. Severus is sarcastic as a defense; it's how he protects himself. It's his snark that comes natural. But Simone is sarcastic because she knows it gets under people's skin and that they know she knows there's nothing they can do about it. She's smug."

"And nothing ticks you off like smugness," Mary stated, "That's why Potter gets you so mad."

Lily huffed, "I can't stand arrogance. Being wealthy or popular doesn't give you the right to trample all over peoples' feelings, nor does it mean life should be handed to you just because you're you. I swear if he wasn't so self-absorbed and smug he'd be tolerable."

Mary hummed, "If only Potter realized that ditching his most annoying traits would mean he had a chance with you."

"Mary!" Lily cried, slapping her friend's shoulder.

"So are you saying you don't like him?" Mary asked.

Lily turned away, blush high on her cheeks, "I don't know…I guess it is nice how much he cares about his friends. And he is quick to defend any Gryffindor from the other houses. And he's not unattractive…But…he can be downright awful sometimes and he doesn't seem willing to acknowledge it. He has a million excuses for why it's okay for him to bully people, he doesn't even want to admit it's bullying. He claims he is putting bad people in their place, but what right does he have to judge someone from the moment they are sorted?"

"If he stopped, would you date him?" Mary inquired.

"Why do you want to know all of a sudden?" Lily asked, embarrassed.

Mary shrugged, "The girls in our dorm won't stop bugging me for answers. Some of them are in a little Lily/James fanclub and I think others just want to know if they can try and win James away from you."

"Well they can have him!" Lily harrumphed, crossing her arms over her chest and putting her nose in the air, "He'll never grow up. Do you know what he said to me recently?"

Mary tilted her head, intrigued, "What?"

"It was after the falling out with Severus by the lake," Lily began, "He came up to me a day or two later and apologized to me; said he was very sorry I was called that. He told me he was going to try harder, to be better and leave people alone."

"Well that sounds nice of him," Mary said.

"It's an angle," was Lily's clipped reply.

"Beg pardon?"

"He's working an angle," Lily explained, "This is all just another plot to win me over. I don't know, maybe Simone has me being cynical now. I mean, I was sort of flattered when he said it, but now, looking back on it, it's clear this has a hidden agenda."

Mary leaned forward, "What do you mean?"

Lily looked around to ensure they weren't overheard, "Think about it: he harasses me and Severus for years without any hint of remorse, and now that the very person he had problems with me hanging around with is out of the way, that's when he decides to straighten up and fly right? It doesn't add up. I mean, does this mean if Severus and I hadn't had a falling out, his behavior would have just continued? It's only now that he thinks he's gotten what he wants—an end to my friendship with Snape—that he's going to stop being a bully. I don't think so; he's just trying to trick me into thinking he's changed."

"And even if he did actually stop, it would still say a lot about how little he cares about your actual feelings," Mary pointed out, "he never stopped to consider how much it hurt you to see Snape get hurt, so he cared less about your feelings and opinions and more about his own opinion on the matter. He only decided to do as you asked and 'stop' because he finally got what he wanted. What, did he think you would just fall at his feet, declaring he was right all along about Snape and then you'd beg him to date you?"

Lily snorted, "Fat chance. He has no right to ignore my feelings all these years when it came to my friends, then turn around, and pretend he cares now. He's glad Severus lashed out at me, because now he thinks he has a chance at me. Maybe that's why he hated Severus so much; because he worried Severus would see through his acts."

Mary cocked an eyebrow, "So just so we're clear, that's a no on dating him?"

Lily's shoulders slumped, a sigh leaving her lips, "It's a no. Even if he did change his ways—and he hasn't; I overheard him in the great Hall recently and he's still bullying Severus—it wouldn't be fair to Severus. He'd never forgive me and honestly, I can't say I'd blame him. I know more about what he's gone through at Potter's hands than anybody, things that aren't mine to share, but I know they aren't something Severus could get over even if James suddenly decided to be a decent person. I know I would hate it if Severus suddenly up and dated one of the Slytherin girls who call me names and ridicule me from being muggleborn. "

"It must have been maddening for you with all those rumors flying around of Simone dating Severus, huh?" Mary pried.

"Well to be fair, Simone doesn't pick on me for my blood and she hasn't really said much to me at all until today. As it is, what she did pick at when it came to me were…pretty valid accusations about my hypocrisy. So it isn't like Severus dating her would be some big betrayal to my feelings. Why?" she looked up at Mary, "You don't really think they're dating, do you?"

Mary chuckled, "Nah, I don't think Severus can stand her much in large doses. But why would it bother you if he did?"

"It doesn't," Lily insisted, "Well I mean…huh…why does it bother me?"

Mary smiled knowingly, but didn't answer. Standing up she brushed dirt off her robes, then held a hand out to help Lily up, "Perhaps that is a question for another day. It's time for dinner and I want to get some of the Yorkshire Pudding before it is all gone. I swear the boys in our dorms can really put it away."

Lily turned to observe the setting sun, "Oh right…I didn't realize it was getting so late. Yeah, let's head in."

"So are you going to talk to Severus tomorrow," Mary asked as they walked across the grounds.

Lily frowned, "I'm not sure. I need some time to organize my thoughts. Simone is right, if I am going to talk some sense into him, I need to do it without flying off the handle or acting like I think he's stupid for what he's done. I need to be willing to hear him out if I expect him to hear me out as well."

"So what will you do?" Mary prodded.

"I think I might wait until we get home," Lily confessed, "It's time we had a very important heart to heart and it wouldn't go over well to try it at school with all this interference. I really would hate for one of my friends to see us together and then try and 'talk some sense into me' about how I should avoid him. By the way," she bumped shoulders with Mary, "Thanks for being so supportive in all this and not telling me what to do."

Mary smiled broadly, "Hey, that's what good girl friend's do."

"And I'm sorry if I acted like what Mulciber did to you matter more than you actually being attacked. I guess I was so caught up in the whole 'dark arts are evil' hype," Lily added.

Mary slung an arm around Lily, "Apology accepted. I know you weren't trying to trivialize what happened. You had a lot on your mind with Snape and his ever growing list of bad decisions. I know you cared about me."

"And I always will," Lily agreed with a smile of her own.

Really, what would she do without Mary?

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks! For now at least.
> 
> On the stories Lily shared here. I imagine that childhood abuse would not be invisible, but easily explained away, especially when the victim is a boy and people can excuse it by making the "boys will be boys" claim to dismiss it as rough housing. Much like an abuser tries to create the illusion that their victim is clumsy, they may also lead others to assume that in the case of a child victim, the child just "plays rough" or gets into fights. It would make bruises easy to avoid calling attention to and in a society where people would rather pretend everything is peachy rather than expose the unpleasant truth, a lie would be easy to swallow. So that's why Lily never put two and two together when she was young; it was a believable excuse and as a girl growing up in a more idyllic childhood, she had no reason to assume a parent would be willfully harming their child.
> 
> As for Mary's explanation of domestic violence and abuse, this is me drawing on my own family's experiences again. My mom was raised in an abusive childhood and when she was a girl, it was the common practice for abuse to just not be talked about, even when you know who in your neighborhood was doing it o suffering from it. It was considered a 'private matter'...even when a scared little girl is sitting on her front steps with her hands clasped over her little sister's ears so that she won't hear their father beating the hell out of her step mother and his girlfriend...yeah, the bystander effect was strong in old neighborhoods; everyone expecting someone else was going to step up and do the right thing. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. You're feedback is very important to me :)
> 
> Next up, the train ride home!


	7. Escalations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our students begin the journey home, but something--or someone--sinister lurks among the train...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with yet another exciting chapter. And boy is this one a doozy. 
> 
> A big, gracious thankful to my wonderful readers and reviewers.
> 
> Trigger warning for those who are sensitive, have PTSD, or have difficulties with traumatic events: this chapter will contain acts of violence, as well as attempted sexual assault and implications of spousal abuse and spousal rape briefly alluded to. You have been warned. I advise my readers to approach these subject maturely and delicately. These are serious subjects and not to be taken lightly.

* * *

"Hurry up everyone!" Hagrid called out as he lumbered past the first few train cars, "Bes' be gettin yer luggage on the train before the las' whistle blows. Firs' years need help liftin their bags; come on now, prefects."

Lily took one last look at the castle looming in the distance and sighed. Another year—another hectic, tiring and emotionally draining year—down and she was going home. Home to be doted on by her overprotective parents and either insulted or ignored by one very foul tempered and petty sister. A part of Lily debated whether staying for even more teenage drama would be preferable to Petunia glaring at her over toast and jams every morning. She could picture it now, her sister's long neck tucked down between her bony shoulders, thin lips pursed into a tight line while she sniffed derisively as though the way Lily stirred her tea was somehow offended the Queen herself.

As if reading her thoughts, Mary laughed, her eyes following Lily's gaze up towards the castle, "I think it is too late to ask if you could stay for the summer, Lily."

Lily sighed heavily once more, "I know. I guess I'll just have to resign myself to a very dull and unpleasant summer of no magic and all the sisterly scorn a girl could ask for."

"Any hope she's possibly come around to the idea of magic since last summer?" Mary asked, somewhat joking, somewhat hopeful.

Lily shook her head, "Doubtful; she hasn't changed in the time I was gone any other year, so why should now be any different? Still, would it kill her to write even a single letter? I would even take a sarcastic 'Dear Lily, try not to get eaten by a dragon this year.' At least then I could say she cared. But nope! Every summer I come home and every summer she locks herself in her room or looks down her nose at me while telling her snobby friends that I go to some sort of…reform school for delinquents!"

Mary patted Lily's back, "That's got to be rough."

Lily worried her lip between her teeth, "I hadn't really thought of it before now, but Petunia is probably going to make things with Severus more complicated too. How am I supposed to talk to him with her hanging around waiting with a cutting remark about his clothes or his looks? She seems to take pleasure in pointing out just how poor he is. I can't exactly clear the air with her insulting us from the other room. And as for tackling his issue with muggles; good luck! If anything, Tuney will just further push him into that mindset and I'll never get through to him."

"Don't you two have some sort of special hang out place?" Mary questioned, "Yeah…that place by the water, right? Covered by that big tree you like to sit under."

Lily nodded, "We do, but we haven't sat under it together in a year or two," she admitted, "Things were already getting a little strained between us before this year. We kept arguing more and more. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to bring him there before we have some things worked out."

"How do you mean?" Mary asked, putting the last of her luggage onto the train storage compartment.

"I don't want to repeat any of our old routines because I don't want to give Severus the impression that we can just let things go 'back to normal'. This isn't like one of our usual fights where we forgive each other and just move on and bury all the issues we were having. I don't want him thinking things can return to how they were like always. If I bring him to the tree and we sit there together like old times, I'm worried history will repeat itself and it will be just like all the other times we have fought," Lily looked searchingly at her friend, "You know what I mean?"

"You don't want Snape to think things haven't changed," Mary stated understandingly.

Lily snapped a finger, pointing at Mary eagerly, "Exactly! If we treat this like nothing's changed, he'll shut me out like he always does. I don't want him to close up again. Then things will never get better. We have to clear the air. I need to treat this like a new experience for both of us, something we've never done before. Then maybe he'll see that this time things are different." Lily side stepped a few younger students playing in the corridor as she entered the train.

"Want me to come over?" Mary joked, "Then it really won't be like any fight you two have had before."

Lily snorted, "Because that would go over so well. Merlin's soggy left nut, this is hard."

"Lily!" Mary gasped with false shock.

"Well it is," Lily insisted, "I had this whole thing planned out in my head, but now that we actually going home and I can put it into action, I have no idea where to actually start. I mean, what if he doesn't even want to talk to me now? I've ignored him for days and I used that name on him just like everyone else. What if he thinks I'm on Potter's side now or something?"

"Considering how much you've avoided Potter since he pants Snape, I highly doubt it Snape is going to think you've gone all 'team Potter'," Mary drawled, "You saw him when you left to talk with Simone; he misses you. Hell, he's dying for a chance to talk to you now," Mary jerked her head at something behind Lily, prompting the redhead to turn around.

About a train car away, Snape stood among the chattering masses. Every so often he would glance Lily and Mary's way before ducking his head back down, as if he wanted to catch Lily's eye but was afraid to be caught staring.

When he looked back up, Lily met his gaze dead on. Giving him a halfhearted smile, she mouthed 'later' at him. She pointed to her trunk and mouthed 'at home'.

Surprise lit up Snape's features for a moment, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline. Something like hope flittered across his face for the briefest of moments and then it was gone, his expression closing off once more. Giving Lily barest nod of his head, he turned and headed off to find a compartment, followed not by Mulciber or Avery surprisingly, but rather Simone's friends from Ravenclaw.

Mary smirked proudly, "See, I was right. He's _dying_ to see you."

"Yeah," Lily mused, "and it looks like Simone has people on escort duty in her absence again," she gestured to the departing Ravenclaws.

Mary watched the students leave down the train corridor, "You're right. Where is she anyway?"

"Oh, from what I've heard, Simone and Thea never take the train," Lily explained, "A house elf picks them up the school gates so they don't have to take such long travel."

Lily recalled seeing Simone when she and Mary where first getting into the carriages to head to Hogsmeade station. Simone had been traipsing across the lawn with Thea in tow, both clad in regular wizard wear instead of their school robes. Simone's robe had a sort of translucent lace like quality to the bottom and Lily had glimpsed a pair of fine dragon hide boots with pointy heels peeking through the thin material, prompting her to wonder how anyone could walk in those things. Both girls' hair piled high on their heads with lace shawls draped over their shoulders, they looked more like they had stepped out of the fashion section of Witches Weekly than two students returning home for the summer.

"That girl has to do everything differently, doesn't she?" Mary muttered, "What's wrong with taking the train? It's the last hurrah with friends before summer break."

"I think Simone and Thea can afford to travel and visit all their friends over the break," Lily pointed out as they weaved in and out of the crowd of students in order to find a compartment for themselves.

Mary pouted, "Lucky, wealthy jerk," she pressed her face against the window of one compartment's door, hands cupped around her eyes to peer inside the foggy, dirty glass, "This one looks empty."

"Good," Lily breathed a sigh of relief, heading inside and getting situated. While most of her luggage had been stored elsewhere on the train, her remaining trunk carrying her change of clothes for home was going up into the compartments overhead luggage rack, Lily grunting a little as she hefted it up.

Just as Mary was about to shut the door, a hand shot into the compartment and blocked her.

"Ladies," Sirius said smoothly, pushing the door open to allow for him and James to fit through, "What a lovely surprise, me and James were just looking for a place to sit."

Behind Sirius, Remus and Peter were standing around looking unsure of themselves.

James mussed up his hair, turning to Lily with a grin, "So Evans, I was hoping we could stay in touch this summer." He made to sit down.

Mary stood in the center of the compartment, her hands firmly on her hips, "Oh no. No, no, no. This place is taken, Potter. Go find somewhere else to strut around like a prized peacock." She pushed James away from the seat he was moving towards and steered him to the door.

"Oh come on, Macdonald!" Sirius said casually, "There's plenty of room to share. Plus don't deny you love me." He gave her a cheeky grin, already sprawling across a seat.

"We just thought we'd make some friendly conversation," James added, "Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"More like you're here to flirt," Mary huffed.

"And that would be a problem because...?" James asked teasingly, looking over at Lily to flash her a charming smile and a wink.

Lily took a deep breath and stood up, brushing imaginary dust off her skirt as she went, "James, I really would rather it just be me and Mary right now."

James' smile faltered, "But I thought you and me could talk," he said, "You know, really get to know each other."

"Why, because Snape's out of the way now?" Lily asked, "Potter, I've made it perfectly clear before that I do not like your behavior, so what makes you think I would be eager to be friends with you after what happened by the lake."

"But...I told you I'm going to change," James sputtered, "And I had nothing to do with what Snape said to you."

 _'Well you did a wonderful job antagonizing him,'_ Lily thought, "I'm not blaming you for his actions, but that doesn't make yours any better. If you really are going to change, I would like to see evidence first before you try and cozy up to me. Really James, trying to move in on me while I'm upset is sort of like taking advantage, don't you think?"

James blanched, "T-that's not what I was trying to do."

"James if you really care about me, you'd give some thought to my feelings. I lost a friend, I'm hurt. This is the worst time to try and come in acting charming and trying to win me over. It's insensitive, especially when I can see how gleeful it makes you to have Snape out of the picture," Lily stated firmly.

"What's the big deal," Sirius asked with a yawn, "It's just Snivellous; you should just get over him already."

Lily glared at Sirius, "Just because we had a falling out, doesn't mean that I suddenly find that name funny, Black," she said harshly, "It's infantile and petty and I won't put up with it."

Sirius rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Whatever."

"Now, I believe I've made my point quite clear," Lily went on, "Mary and I would just like to be alone for now, alright?"

"But Evans," James began.

"No buts, James. If you really wish to be my friend, then please give me some time to deal with some things and prove to me you can change," Lily insisted.

"Right, you heard her," Mary said, "Out with you all," she grabbed Sirius by the ear, dragging him up from the seat.

"Ow, ow ow!" Sirius cried, trying to pry Mary's vice like grip off his ear, "Let go!"

"Out," Mary repeated, dragging Sirius to the door and pushing him out.

Mary then turned to James, "Well?"

James held his hands up in surrender, backing out the door and being careful to stay out of Mary's reach, "I'm going, I'm going. I'll...see you around, Evans."

Once the boys were outside the door, Mary shut it with a satisfying thump. "Now, how about a game of Exploding Snap?" she asked with grin.

 

{page break}

 

The girls played and talked for the first half of the trip, giggling and teasing one another. When the trolley came by, they helped themselves to ice mice and chocolate frogs. Mary also got herself some licorice wands, which Lily absolutely abhorred the taste of.

The train was nearing home—only an hour or so left of a ride—when their compartment door swung open unceremoniously.

"Black, we're still not interested in hanging out with you," Mary growled, going to slam the door shut.

"Well good thing we ain't Black then, ain't it?" Was the unpleasant reply.

Mulciber stood ominously in the doorway a smirk plastered across his face.

"What do you want?" Lily demanded, standing up quickly. Under her robes, she clutched tightly to her wand.

Mulciber shrugged, "Just thought I'd come by and see how my favorite Mudblood was doing," he said. He leered at Mary, "Alright there, Macdonald?"

Mary glared at him, swallowing her disgust, "Piss off, Mulciber."

"Oh, and here I thought you and I had become such good friends," Mulciber joked, "Guess we'll have to do some more bonding," he reached into his robes.

Thinking fast, Lily drew her wand and went to point it at Mulciber, _"Stupefy—,"_

" _Expelliarmus."_

Lily's wand was torn from her grip and sent spiraling into the air.

Lily could only watch in horror as her wand landed in the hand of the one who disarmed her.

"Now that's not very nice," Avery drawled, leaning against the door frame. He twiddled Lily's wand between his fingers, "didn't your filthy muggle mum ever teach you any manners?"

Lily grit her teeth, "Didn't your mother teach you not to pick on people?"

Avery smirked, "As a matter of fact, no. She didn't really have a problem with how I treated my lessers."

"What a lovely person she is," Lily snarled, her teeth bared.

Mulciber laughed loudly, "She's a far better woman than you muggle lot." He had accioed Mary's wand during Lily and Avery's exchange of words. A firm grip around Mary's forearm, the burly boy sneered down at the girls, "Now, I do believe we were going to get better acquainted."

Avery nodded, "That's right. We've been dying to have some fun." Stepping fully into the compartment, he closed the door and spelled it shut. Pulling down the blinds on the windows, he waved his wand and a dull humming filled the room, the outside noises in the corridor falling eerily silent.

He grinned nastily, "Just so we won't be overheard. Nicking that spell from Snape's book was the best thing I ever did."

"So it's not just his homework you steal, but his spellwork too," Lily fumed, "He does everything for you and you steal from him? Some friends."

Avery shrugged, "It isn't a balanced relationship, but it suits me just fine. Besides, whoever said we were friends? Snape's just...convenient. Now...what can we do to you two? A hex? A curse? I'm sure you'd both look just wonderful puking up slugs."

"That's too juvenile," Mulciber said, "Make maggots crawl under their skin. Or better yet, make their blood boil."

Lily glared up at Avery, "You two really are foul excuses for human beings, aren't you. Picking people, tormenting them. You're complete creeps."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Avery replied, "Besides, there's no one to stop us."

"Severus would," Lily insisted, "He'd be downright furious if he knew you were bothering me."

Avery smirked, "Snape's no longer got use for you, my dear. Remember? He cut you loose and has finally accepted how worthless your blood makes you."

Lily shook her head, "You're wrong."

"Oh, and how do you figure that?" Avery taunted.

It was Lily's turn to sneer, "You think you know Severus, but you don't. He only lets you see what he wants you to see. As if he would show you the real him. You're just stepping stones in his own goals. You took advantage of him so that he would do things for you and you think you'll take credit for his hard work. But he'd never let you do that. He's not giving you any of his real secrets. You're just getting the scraps; the skills and secrets he thinks insignificant enough to toss you."

Avery's face twisted, "Watch what you say, Mudblood."

Mulciber laughed, "Looks like the cat's got claws."

"Shut it!" Aavery snapped at his cohort.

Lily wasn't through with Avery, "You think you're using him, but he's using you too. He's smarter than you and twice as talented and you can bet he's going to recognized for it. No one would ever believe someone like you to be that brilliant. And that's why you keep him under your thumb; because you know he could actually be somebody someday, while you would be no better than a vagrant in the real world if you didn't have your family name to fall back on. Without that, you'd be nothing and it eats away at you to know a halfblood is twice the wizard you ever were."

Avery's face warped with rage, "You..."

Mulciber guffawed loudly, "Turns out the bitch can bite too."

"YOU SHUT IT," Avery roared, flushing scarlet, "How dare you talk to me like that, you little bitch."

Lily held her head up proudly, trying to hide her fear as the boy bore menacingly down upon her, "I'm only stating what you already know."

Mulciber continued to laugh, "She told you what for, didn't she?"

"We don't need to put up with the likes of you," Lily stated, "I'm asking you to leave."

Avery smirked, "What if we don't want to?"

Lily narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. Reaching for one of her bags, she turned to Mary, "Come on, Mary. We'll find another place to sit."

"Who said you could go anywhere," Avery began, grabbing a hold of Lily's bag, "We're not done here—"

Avery never got to finish his sentence.

Without warning, Lily whirled around and slapped Avery clean in the face, "Don't touch me or my things!"

"Why you little!" Avery lunged forward. Getting an arm around Lily's waist, the pair tussled in the cramped compartment.

"Lily!" Mary cried in alarm. She would have come to her friend's aid but a hand closed painfully around her wrist.

"Now, now," Mulciber chided, waving his wand at her, "We wouldn't want to get in the middle of that, would we?"

Avery attempted to grab a hold of Lily's hands, but Lily was having none of it. Flailing around like an angry cat, she threw elbows and punches at whatever part of Avery she could reach. One well placed hit managed to connect with Avery's eye painfully, causing the boy to recoil on instinct.

With Avery's hold on her loosening, Lily took her chance and landed a good blow to the bully's nose.

"Shit!" Avery cursed, holding his bleeding nose.

Mucilber was practically in stitches from laughing so hard, "Who knew a mudblood was a better fighter than you, eh, Avery? And a girl at that!"

Avery's snarled, his lip curling back like a wild animal, "That's it. I've had enough of this little tart." He lifted his wand, eyeing Lily carefully. A strange look passed over his face and he leered at her, "It's time she did something useful..."

Lily's eyes widened, "What are you...?"

Avery took a step towards her, his wand raised as he looked her up and down, appraising her.

Realization hit Lily like a ton of bricks. "Mary, run!" she cried, making a break for the exit.

" _Petrificus Totalus,"_ Avery's spell hit Lily full force, sending her toppling to the ground, still as a statue.

"Lily!" Mary yelled. She struggled furiously in Mulciber's grip.

Mulciber grunted as his captive got him in the stomach with a well placed elbow, "Stupid chit, _Imperio!_ "

Mary went slack in his grip, her eyes glazed over and blank.

Avery raised a brow, "Really, William?"

Mulciber shrugged, "What? We're already taking it this far, why not use an unforgivable?"

"Well if you must, but personally I find taking hold of the persons mind like that robs you of the pleasure of them suffering through every moment," Avery replied, talking like he was speaking to a slow child, a tired distaste in his tone.

"Nah, I like it better this way. She much more cooperative this way. I could make her do anything if I wanted," Mulciber explained, looking at the pliant girl in his arms with glee.

Avery tsked, "Do what you want," He nudged Lily onto her back with his toe, "It won't make much difference I suppose; we're just going to obliviate them anyways."

Lily could do nothing but watch in silent horror as Avery leaned down and picked her up, his hands straying to her backside as he took on her weight.

Propping her up against the seats, Avery grinned, wide and threatening, "I'm going to enjoy this."

As Lily looked on in terror, Avery grabbed hold of her robe and wrenched it open.

"Nice," Avery said approvingly, taking in Lily's shape beneath her blouse, "You can never see shit with these robes. You've got a nice figure. Let's see how nice." He reached for her shirt and tore it open, buttons flying away with the force.

Lily tried to scream but it was to no avail. She couldn't open her mouth, so the sound was too soft. Even if she could scream, the spell Avery used on the compartment would ensure nobody heard her.

Across from her, Mulciber was pulling Mary into his lap. With a perverse chuckle, he fondled her backside and tugged her skirt, licking the side of her face lecherously.

"Nice," Avery said, dragging Lily back to her nightmare, "Very nice," He cupped one of her breasts in his hand, squeezing harshly.

"Tacky bra, though," he went on, "Cheap. You think that lace will cover up what a classless bint you are, Muddy?" He brought up his other hand and held her breasts firmly, bouncing them slightly, weighing them in his hands as though he was comparing produce at a fruit stand.

Lily shrieked, but it was too muffled to make much noise.

"Now, now, no need to be shy," Avery chided mockingly. He tugged her bra down and cupped her bare breasts, "These are some fine ones you've got here. Nice and plump; they fill the hand quite nicely."

Tears burned Lily's eyes. Every part of her was screaming to run, to thrash, to do anything, but she was helpless. She bit back a whimper as the tears finally spilled over and ran down her face.

"You've got quite the body hidden under those stuffy robes, Evans," Avery was saying. He leaned in close, his breath fanning across Lily's face as he gave her a cruel, cold smile, "Why don't we see what's under here?" he asked, reaching under her skirt and sticking a hand between her legs.

Lily let out what would have been a near inhuman screech if it weren't for the spell on her. Instead it was a distorted gargle of muted sound.

It was like watching a horror movie, but she was the victim in the film instead of part of the audience. Her body had become a cage, trapping her in one long drawn out moment of terror and violation.

Her eyes darted to Mary, her dazed friend sitting with Mulciber, her shirt open and her skirt tugged up, unaware of her surroundings.

Lily sobbed, her eyes burning with tears as she felt Avery's fingers pull at her knickers.

And that's when the compartment door opened...

 

{page break}

 

Snape wandered the train searchingly.

After a few hours of hanging out with Davis and the other Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs in their compartment, Snape was taking some much needed time to himself.

It wasn't that he disliked Davis or his friends. In fact, the studious bunch appeared to have quite a bit in common with him when it came to an avarice for learning. Their hunger for knowledge rivaled his own, which was unsurprising. In the past Snape had avoided Ravenclaws because while their thirst for knowledge was admirable, they tended to be better at memorizing the knowledge than applying it. They knew the facts but not how to use them. Snape preferred his companions capable of thinking things out critically on top of their knowledge. After all, knowledge was knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom was knowing that it still didn't belong in a fruit salad.

Davis and his friends though were different. Ever exploring and questioning, the group asked _how_ and _why_ , rather than just taking a fact at face value. They wanted to know how something worked and what's more, what else it could do that hadn't yet been done. Their inventiveness was a breath of fresh air for Snape, who had spent most of his school years being scolded for his risky potion experiments or shunned for the spellwork he created.

Still, as much as he appreciated their company, Snape was an introvert at heart and there was only so much socializing he could take in a day. So when his ….friends?...had nodded off one by one, he took his chance to sneak away.

Now he roamed the halls enjoying the relative silence. Most students were in their compartments, resting or relaxing for the remainder of the ride. The few who did loiter in the halls were younger kids who were easily scared off with a well practiced glare.

Snape scanned the compartment windows as he passed, looking for familiar faces. Without Simone around, he would have the freedom to talk with Avery and he knew the boy had been looking for him lately. Simone kept Snape in the common room until Avery went to sleep back when they were at school and she was glued to him during the day so he had been effectively banned from all contact with the older Slytherin. Now she was gone and he could seek the other boy out.

He knew he would need to make a decision soon. Avery said that sixth year was when _he_ really started looking for new recruits and he didn't like to be kept waiting.

Snape felt a little guilty. Simone would be right pissed to hear he was still thinking about it. He knew Simone believed nothing good would come from joining _his_ side, but it wasn't like she really knew what the cause was all about, right? She wasn't close to those in the know, the ones who had met _him_ , so what if she was wrong?

And what other choice did he had? A nobody halfblood from a poor muggle hovel, no connections, no favors to call in. He even had a life debt hanging over his head thanks to that damn Potter. He would never make it in the cut throat reality outside of Hogwarts unless he put his lot in with those of power. What future would he have otherwise? No one on the light side was going to stick their neck out to give him a leg up in the world.

He peered into another few windows. Still no Avery. Where could that lummox be?

In truth, he had enjoyed the space from Avery and his friends. The group was all very simple minded. Their ideas were few and most thoughts unoriginal. They were lazy and had no value for hard work or ingenuity and if he was frank, their startling lack of intellect was infuriating when combined with their empty headed, obnoxiously loud laughter. Mulciber was like a braying donkey!

Still, he needed them if he was going to make it in life. When he first came to Hogwarts, he had initially hung out with them because of his lack of friends and a need for protection from the ruthless older years; Bellatrix and her propensity for curses coming to mind. But then, the pair had proven useful, their promise of a place among the Dark Lord's chosen few was too tempting to pass up for a unnoticed, unpopular boy that the would spit up and chewed out.

Still, Simone wouldn't approve if she knew he was out here looking for them. She had been so adamant that all he would find was misery if he continued on down this path. But what did she know? She was wealthy, acknowledged, and—from what he could tell of her mentions of her parents—loved and cared for. She had everything, whereas he had nothing. What did he have to lose when he already had lost what mattered most to him.

Or did he?

Snape paused, uncaring of the first years who had to skirt around him nervously to get to the other end of the hall.

Lily had smiled at him today. Really smiled at him. It was strained and small compared to her usual beaming grins, but the warmth in it had been real. She had barely spared him a glance in days. But today she had looked at him, really looked at him. She'd sought out his eyes and held his gaze, piercing right down into the depths of his soul as only she could. Whatever she found there, he did not know, but it must have been worth something to her, as she had smiled at him and sent him a wordless message; they would talk once they were in Cokeworth.

If Snape was honest with himself, he had been quite convinced Lily would never speak to him again. What he had done was unforgivable and it would not be fixed like when they fought in their younger years. with a few days of her cold shoulder and then some enchanted paper flying like birds sent to charm her into forgiveness wouldn't work this time. He knew how much that word bothered Lily, he couldn't fault her for it. It was appalling to think anyone would accuse Lily of not belonging at Hogwarts. Her talent was indisputable, unquestionable. She excelled at anything she put her mind to, and woe to anyone who questioned it in his presence. Even among the Slytherins it was well known; Lily was off limits.

Snape frowned, Avery had been ecstatic when he heard about Snape's falling out with Lily. For years the brutish boy had insisted Snape would grow tired of Lily and her...ill breeding, but Snape had always ignored him or just rolled his eyes and played along. Let Avery think the friendship would end after Hogwarts; so long as he didn't bother or pressure Snape to drop her now. He'd think of a way to convince them Lily belonged in his life once he graduated.

But Avery had been over the moon. So much so that he had foregone his usual 'curse practice' on the younger Slytherins the day he heard about the Lake incident. If Snape reconciled with Lily now, it was doubtful Avery would take it well.

Snape shook his head, continuing on his way.

What could he do? He couldn't bare the thought of not having Lily in his life, but Avery had made it clear there was no room for her in whatever sort of future was promised to him for his services. What could he possibly do? It came down to a choice and it was one agonizing for Snape to make. Could he really give up everything for Lily? A girl who would likely never see him as anything more than a friend?

On the other hand, would he be able to live his life, no matter how successful it might turn out, without Lily in it?

Before he could deliberate on the matter more fully, something caught his attention. The section of the hall he had wandered into was empty, devoid of the usual student hustle and bustle, but there was a noise lingering in the air. A sort of buzzing sound, a low sort of din reminiscent of a bee or the hum of a lamp.

Snape knew this sound. It was one of his own spells at work. But who was using it? Snape growled; it better not be Potter again. After the scene by the lake, Snape had vowed to keep his things better hidden, but with how easily Potter and his lackeys always found him, who knew what sort of trickery they had at their disposal to uncover his secrets?

Curiously, Snape followed the sound, listening carefully..

He traced the noise to its source, a closed up compartment with its shades drawn where the humming was at its loudest. Reaching for the handle, he wasn't surprised to find it locked; anyone using his spell most likely didn't want to be discovered.

Drawing his wand, Snape muttered one of the more complex unlocking spells, very sure that anyone willing enough to steal his spell wouldn't use just any enchantment to lock the door. It unlocked with an almost inaudible 'click' and Snape reached for the handle again, prepared to face the culprit and give them a well deserved thrashing for daring to use his spells.

Canceling the muffliato, Severus yanked open the door and stepped inside without a second thought, wand at the ready.

The scene that greeted him inside was not what he expected to find.

 

{page break}

 

For a moment, everything was still. It was silent save for Lily's quiet hiccups.

Avery had been caught off guard, so like a deer in the headlights, he stood there not moving, hands frozen on Lily.

Mulciber blinked stupidly at Snape, not sure what to do. In his arms, Mary's head lolled sideways, her curly brunette locks falling over her face.

Severus stood rigid in the doorway. Unsure how to process what he was seeing, he looked at Lily. He took in her torn shirt, her white pale breasts standing out sharply in contrast to her black robes. He took in Avery's hands and where they lingered on Lily's skin. He took in Lily's wide watery eyes, so filled with fear and anxiety, tear tracks streaking down her cheeks.

As if he was a child again, Snape found himself standing in an open doorway, looking on in shock at his crying disheveled mother as father clutched her by the hair, one fist raised above his head.

Suddenly all Snape could see was red.

" _Exeplliarmus!"_ he shouted.

"The hell, Snape?" Avery narrowly ducked out of the way, "Have you gone mad?"

"How dare you," Snape growled, "How dare you!" he fired another spell, which Avery barely managed to get out of the way of.

"What's the big deal," Mulciber said, drawing his wand and coming to Avery's aid, "She's just a mudbloo—,"

"DON'T CALL HER THAT!" Severus roared, spittle flying from his mouth. He made a vicious slash in the air with his wand, and Avery bit back a hiss, his arm sporting a large gash.

"You bastard. Who's side are you on?" Avery snarled.

The trio began an all out duel right there in the compartment. Hexes flew left and right, deflected to ricochet off walls and bounce off the ceiling. Snape unleashed a barrage of curses at the pair of larger boys, yelling and screaming obscenities at them. Practically foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, he unloaded as much fury as he could with each and every slash of his wand.

"You," he swung a curse at Avery, "Will," he sent a volley of hexes as Mulciber, Never," he parried one of Avery's curses, "Touch her," another cutting hex at Avery, "AGAIN!"

At this point, it was more Snape dueling and Avery and Mulciber barely managing to block them. Beating Snape in a duel was hard on a regular basis; fighting him when he was out of his mind with rage was something they had never encountered before.

As the boys fought, Lily finally felt the effects of the spell on her wear off. Huddling against the seats, Lily reached shakily for her wand which Mulciber had managed to lose track of in the fight. Pointing it at Mary, she managed to choke out a weak ' _Finite_ _Incantatem,'_ at her friend.

Mary slumped backwards against the wall, the glassiness of her eyes melting away.

"What...?" Mary mumbled, "What's going on?"

Above her, a hex zoom over Avery's head, leaving a deep scorch mark in the wall.

"Shit!" Mary cried, crawling on her hands and knees to huddle besides Lily and escape the burning wallpaper fluttering to the ground.

" _Confringo!"_ Snape shouted, aiming at the pair of Sytherins.

" _Protego,"_ Mulciber began.

" _Langlock!"_ Snape fired back before he could finish moving his wand.

Mulciber's spell died on his tongue, the muscle literally stuck to the roof of his mouth.

" _Expulso!"_ Snape cried.

The curse connected head on with Avery's shield. Lacking the added strength of Mulciber's shield, the boy was thrown backwards against the wall, hitting it with a thunderous crash, falling down to collapse in a heap on the ground.

" _Expelliarmus,"_ Snape aimed the disarming spell at Mulciber, who was waving his wand and mouthing ineffectively.

The lumbering oaf of a boy took the full force of the blow, crashing into the window and landing on the ground, dazed.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself, staring at Severus in shock. She had never seen him this way before. It should have been frightening, it should have been absolutely terrifying, but all she feel was a deep seated sense of relief welling up inside her. _'You came for me...'_

Breathing heavily, Snape stared down at Avery and Mulciber's prone forms. Hesitantly he took a step forward, and then another, wary that one of them may get back up. He kept his wand raised, trained on the two as he approached.

Hate filled his senses, so strong it was almost unrecognizable. It took over his thoughts, polluted them, the cloying stench of it clinging to him like an inescapable cloak.

He should end them, he thought. It would be all too easy. No way they could be allowed to walk free from this. Not after what they had done.

He raised his wand.

"Sev..."

The plaintive cry behind him pulled him away from his spiraling thoughts.

"Lily," he turned towards her, his eyes falling on her shivering form. She clung to the tattered remains of her shirt, having managed to tuck her breasts back into her bra. She looked so small there on the floor, her face red and blotchy, eyes bloodshot and lost.

Hastily, Severus shrugged out of his robe. "Here," he said, holding it awkwardly out to the redhead.

He turned to Mary, unsure.

"I'm good," Mary said softly, her eyes glassy. She pulled her robe from off the floor and wrapped it around herself, hugging it like a blanket.

Snape turned back to Lily, his robe still held out to her, "Lily?"

Lily looked down at the robe. Slowly, she reached for it only to pause.

"Take it," Severus implored, "You need to—."

In the next second Lily flung herself into Severus' arms.

"Sev," Lily whimpered, "Oh Sev!"

Her shoulders shook and Severus realized that Lily was crying. Cautiously, he wound his arms around her. Unsure what to do with his hands, he chose to place them on the back of her head, petting her hair. He was out of his element here. He recalled old movies his father used to leave on where people comforting someone would shush them, soft and whisper-like, but it didn't seem appropriate to him. He doubted the last thing Lily needed right now was to be silenced.

"Sev," Lily sobbed again. She repeated his name, over and over like a mantra anchoring her to reality, grounding her to the fact that she was no longer trapped, that worst was over.

Mary got to her feet on wobbly legs. She stepped towards Snape, seeking comfort in closeness, but not sure if his offer to Lily applied to her as well.

Severus looked up and met Mary's eyes over Lily's head, "Macdonald..." he began.

" _Sectumsempra!"_

Everything seemed to slow down. Snape pulled back from Lily's grip like he had been pushed. Shock overtaking his features, he fell backwards, hand going to his neck as blood spurted from underneath his fingers, a red streak arcing through the air. It seemed to take him forever to fall to the ground.

Avery stood by the window, wand still raised, a triumphant and wicked grin on his face.

"SEV!" Lily shrieked. She fell to her knees besides her friend. Reaching for his neck, she clamped her hands over it, crying and screaming futility.

"Shit," Mulciber said, stumbling to his feet.

"We need to go," he told Avery, "We don't want to be here when the train pulls into station. We'll go to Azkaban for this. You can't obliviate killing someone as easily as you can for touching a few girls."

"No but we can try," Avery sneered, pointing his wand at Lily.

He was just about to utter the spell when a commotion came down from the other end of the train car.

"Lily!" came Remus' frantic voice, "Lily, is that you? Are you alright?"

"Shit," Avery echoed Mulciber's previous statement, "Time to go."

The two Slytherins sprinted out of the compartment, just as Remus and his friends reached it.

"Hey," James said, "What are they doing here—oh Merlin!" His eyes fell upon the sight just beyond the doorway of the compartment.

"Please, help me," Lily begged, "I-I need to stop the bleeding...there's too much, i-it won't stop," she dissolved into a fresh wave of sobs.

Behind her, Mary was collapsed on the floor white as a sheet, tears falling silently down her face.

James eyes raked over Lily's ragged appearance, "...Are you okay? What happened?"

Lily only cried harder.

"Lily..." Remus said shakily, trying to remain calm, "You need to calm down. We'll help you," he turned to James and Sirius, "We need potions, fast."

"I-I'm on it," Sirius said beyond bewildered, he took off down the hall.

"And go get help!" Remus called after him.

"Got it!" Sirius shouted back.

Remus knelt down besides Lily, "Lily, my mom's a nurse...let me see what I can do..." he carefully pulled Lily's hands away and replaced them with his own.

"We need to keep pressure on the wound," he said, "We can't stop the bleeding fully until we get the artery closed."

"But he's lost so much blood," Lily cried.

"Is there anything we can do for that, Remus," James asked worriedly.

"Oh," Mary gasped, "I-I have something." She crawled towards her bag, producing a dainty little purse from inside. Frazzled and half scared out of her wits, she struggled to open it until Peter came over and assisted her.

"I've got blood replenisher," Mary explained, holding up a small vial, "For emergencies." When she had first packed it, never did she think she would need it for something like this.

James took the proffered vial, turning to Remus for guidance.

"Open his mouth and pour it in," Remus instructed, "Slowly."

James did as he was told.

A few seconds went by agonizingly slowly.

"It's not helping," Lily fretted.

"It will," Remus assured her, "It just needs time. Where is Sirius with those potions?!"

"I'll go check," James offered. He took off like a bolt of lightning down the hall.

By now, all the shouting and screaming had called quite a bit of attention. Students poked their heads out of other compartments, some confused, others curious. They converged upon the scene quickly, students in the back straining to see what was going on.

Lily clutched tightly to Severus' shirt, "Sev...Sev, you've got to hang on. Can you hear me? Hang on!" She peered into his eyes and was dismayed to find them blurry and unfocused. She became alarmed when they began to flutter closed.

"Sev?" she called, lightly patting his face, "Sev?!"

"Where is Sirius?" Remus shouted in frustration.

Lily shook Severus frantically as his eyes fell closed.

" _SEV!"_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This given some of my own personal history, this was not an easy chapter to write. I hope that my readers were not caused too much distress by this chapter. If so, I apologize.
> 
> It was very important to me before writing this story that I give great thought to this particular scene and how I wished to proceed with the aftermath. Rest assured this attack on Lily and Mary will be brought up in later chapters, addressing the impact it has on them and those around them. It will NOT be used as a cheap ploy to get views and then dropped as soon as possible. It will NOT result in Lily and Severus being physically intimate in the near future under the cliche guise of the victim trying to heal by seeking physical comforts with her love interests. I HATE, HATE HATE when writers do that. One chapter a character is raped or nearly raped and the very next chapter, they have sex with the love interest because the writer felt it would be 'good' writing. Sexual assault is a very serious subject and should never be written in for shock value and thrown out once it achieves the desired effect. You must follow through with the subject, how it affects the victims, how they recover, what lingering affects it left. Treat. It. SERIOUSLY!
> 
> I decided to include the implications with Severus parents because it is a common trait of abusers to sexually assault their spouse or SO without it being acknowledged as such. Society, especially during the time of this story, was under the impression that if you are married to someone, consent is automatically given permanently and can never be retracted, so abused spouses often times go along with sex when they do not want it because they believe it is expected of them and something they just have to do.
> 
> I hope my viewers stick with me through the following chapters. You all make my days so much brighter :)
> 
> Read and Review.


	8. Hospitable Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus finds himself awakening in St. Mungos. And who's there for him when he awakes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I'm back to regale you with more of this exciting story. At least I hope it is exciting.
> 
> Once again, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed. It honestly gives me the needed pick me up after every long week.
> 
> A few of you sent me humorous messages full of support and much fist shaking "Don't let him die!" exclamations. Never fear, my faithful viewers, I would never kill someone in such an early stage of the story.
> 
> ...Did that sound ominous? I get the feeling that sounded ominous and that wasn't my intention.
> 
> Anyway, onward!

* * *

 

When Severus awoke, he couldn't feel anything below his head. It was a truly odd and unsettling sensation. Albeit for the slightest prickling around his neck—that came and went at random—he felt essentially like a floating head. He couldn't feel his toes, he couldn't find his fingers. He was lying down, so he must be on some form of bedding, but for the life of him, he couldn't feel what was below him so he just sort of…floated there. A head without a body.

Another prickling hot sting emanated from his neck and he groaned.

"Sev?" a feminine voice called softly. It sounded familiar. Familiar, but worried.

"Sev?" the voice called again, "Sev, can you hear me?"

Severus wanted to nod, but he couldn't find the muscles required to do so. He wanted to speak but his throat felt like sandpaper and his tongue dry as parchment. He settled for another groan, stronger this time.

He desperately wanted to open his eyes, but his lids refused to cooperate with him. He managed to clench his eyes tightly, and then relax them, then clench them again, but when he tried to open his eyes, he only managed to do so the tiniest amount, just a sliver of daylight slipping passed his stubborn lids to pierce the darkness he was in.

"He's awake! Mum, he-he's awake!" the familiar voice cried frantically, "Oh Sev!"

There was a rustling of sheets near him, the sound of fabric being mussed. Whatever he was on shook just a bit.

"Careful dear," another voice warned. It was gentle, maternal, "You don't want to jostle him."

"Right, mum. Sorry" the first voice said, chagrined.

Snape wanted to assure that voice that he didn't mind at all, but the ability to talk still evaded him. For some reason, he wanted that voice happy again; he didn't like hearing the hurt lingering there.

"I'll go get a healer," the second voice said. Footsteps echoed across the room and then faded out of earshot.

"Sev," the first voiced spoke again. It was getting a little easier to place that voice. In fact, he was even beginning to form a face to fit it. Something with red…? "Severus, it's me. It's Lily. Can you open your eyes for me?"

As though controlled by some force or emotion hidden deep inside himself, Severus fought with all his being to obey that request. Grunting at the sharp light that greeted him, Severus pried his eyes open, setting his gaze blearily on a red blur sitting next to him.

A few second passed and slowly, Lily came into focus.

Her hair was mussed and stringy, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Circles under her eyes told a tale of days lost without sleep, tear tracks streaked across her cheeks.

"Hi," Lily said softly. Her voice was weak and when she spoke again, it cracked slightly, "How are you feeling?"

"I—" Severus broke off into a fit of coughs before he could utter another word.

"Oh! Here, let me help," Lily held a glass out to him, one hand reaching behind Severus to lift him towards the cup, "Little sips."

Normally Severus would be mortified being treated like a weak invalid, but considering he pretty much was one now, he swallowed his pride and brought his lips to the cup. Trying not to focus much on Lily's presence so close to him—her skin radiated heat from beneath her shirt as she leaned over him—he took slow, languid sips, the taste of water a godsend on his tongue.

When he was set back down against what he now realized were pillows, Severus tried again, "I don't feel much of anything right now," he admitted honestly.

Lily laughed; a choked, relieved little giggle that brought a smile to Severus' face.

"I don't suppose you would," Lily said, "Not with the potions they have you on."

"Where…?" Severus' gaze wandered around the room. White walls looked back at him, the ceiling a mottled creamy plaster overhead. Several portraits of pastel colored flower fields covered the walls, each enchanted to sway invitingly with imaginary wind. The wall nearest to him had a poster on it that read "Has your child been checked for Dragon Pox? Spot the signs early" with a healer wagging her finger in admonishment.

"We're at St. Mungos," Lily offered knowingly, "You've been here for four days."

She gestured to the far side of the room where two chairs sat with jackets draped over them and several take-out containers littered a small table in a disorganized mess. There were several pages of newspaper sticking off the edge of the table and a pair of reading glasses hung precariously from the ledge.

"My family has been here ever since the ministry alerted them," Lily told Severus.

"Your family," Severus began confusedly, "Alerted them…I don't understand. Alerted them to what? What happened?"

"A nicked Carotid artery," answered a woman with salt and pepper hair, walking into the room with a clipboard in hand. On her robes was a nametag reading "Healer Parish".

Behind her, an auburn haired woman with kind hazel eyes peeked into the room, her eyes lightly up when they landed on Severus, "So good to see you awake, Severus dear." The smile she gave him was dazzling, chasing away the worn and weary lines of her face that must have formed in the last few days of worry and doubt.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans," Severus greeted awkwardly. Lily's parent's had always been an enigma to him; rarely did anyone, apart from Lily, act so genuinely happy to see him. Most of the muggles in Lily's neighborhood looked down on the dirty boy from Spinner's End who came round in worn sneakers and mismatched clothing, but Lily's parents always welcomed him in with a friendly smile and an offering of a home cooked meal. Of course, with Lily's sister constantly around, the number of times he had visited the Evans' home could be counted on one hand, but each time they treated him kindly, chattering about how Lily's letter's home told them all about him.

At Severus' greeting, Mrs. Evans smile was near blinding, "Oh, sweetie, call me Willow," she insisted.

"Yes, Ma'am," Severus replied.

Willow chuckled, bemused.

The stout, broad shouldered form of Mr. Evans chose that moment to poke into the room.

"Is he up?" Mr. Evans asked. Eyes falling on Severus, he grinned in relief, white teeth peeking out beneath a bushy, graying mustache, "He is! How are you, my boy?"

Severus managed a curt nod, trying to sit up straight in bed, "Fine, Sir," he answered respectfully.

Mr. Evans laughed as he marched into the room, "None of that now, call me Hank."

Petunia trailed awkwardly behind her father, glancing around the room suspiciously as though anything might leap out and bite her at any minute.

"Glad to have you back, Severus," Mr. Evans said, patting the injured boy lightly on the shoulder.

"…Thank you, sir" Severus said warily. Something was definitely odd here. Yes the Evans had always been kind to him, but it seemed to be born more out of pity for his sorry life; as evident by the number of times they 'just happened' to have a spare set of brand new pants or shoes that conveniently didn't fit them but fit him perfectly. They felt bad for his circumstances and so they always treated him gently. But today they were looking at him as if the sun shone out of his arse.

Healer Parish cleared her throat, "If we're all settled, I believe someone would like some answers," she said primly. Turning to Severus, she gave him a polite nod.

"Now, Mr. Snape, as I was saying, you suffered damage to your Carotid artery," Parish turned her clipboard towards Severus, tapping a diagram of the human head and neck. A touch of her finger and the illustration sprang to life, black ink smearing across the neck in a gruesome gash, "Nasty business that is. Now the damage was mostly to the external tissue—it barely penetrated past the muscle—but even the tiniest prick of the artery and all that blood pressure underneath makes it just spurt like a geysers," Parish waved her hand in pantomime of an explosion, oblivious to the horrified and green looking expressions on Petunia and Willow's faces respectively.

"If you were a muggle, you would have died, Sev," Lily said quietly. She shakenly gripped Severus' hand tightly between both of her own and though he couldn't feel it, Severus basked in her attention.

Parish nodded, "That's right. For all the gadgets and medicine Muggles have, they can't stem blood flow from such a severe injury unless they can get the patient to a facility quickly. Without blood to replace what's being lost, the sudden drop in blood pressure is too much for the body; a muggle would bleed out in under a minute from such a wound. You need blood replenishers—and lots of them. And if you don't close the wound, it's all over."

"But we were on the train," Severus trailed off, everything coming back to him, "How could you close the wound it was…" he sat up with a gasp, body moving on muscle memory alone, "It was Avery! He used—" _'He used my own spell against me.'_ Severus thought in dawning horror.

"Sev, careful!" Lily cried, pushing him back down.

Parish tutted, "Easy now, Mr. Snape. You wouldn't want to open that cut back up, would you?" She transfigured his empty water glass into a mirror and held it out for him to see, "We're still waiting for the skin to fully fuse itself back together."

Severus peered into the mirror with trepidation, unsure what he would see. A strip of bandaging wrapped around his neck, several strips of gauze peeking out from beneath the cheesecloth. There were smears of jade green salve around the gauze, a garish sight against the paleness of his complexion.

"It would seem one of your classmates tried to kill you," Parish said bluntly, "Or at the very least, maim you severely. I'll admit the spell used was foreign territory to me and my team. If it wasn't for your friends, you probably wouldn't be here right now."

Severus shook his head, "I don't understand. How could you close the wound? That spell is…" he looked at Lily, "What happened."

Lily's eyes glistened. She brought Severus hand up to her face and nuzzled it, as if to assure herself he was really there.

"When Avery hexed you," she croaked, her voice tight with emotion, "I didn't know what to do…"

 

(page break)

 

_Lily leaned over Severus' prone form, her fingers clenched in his shirt, "Wake up, Severus. Please wake up."_

" _Here," Mary thrust her arm forward, another bottle of blood replenisher in her hand, "He needs more."_

" _Tilt his head back, Lily," Remus instructed, "Pour it down his throat and massage his neck just under the adam's apple—but careful of the wound."_

_Lily did as she was told, her hands lightly tipping Snape's head back and pouring the potion into his mouth. She rubbed careful at his neck, willing him to swallow, quivering with fear and revulsion as her blood covered hands left smears across her friend's pale skin._

_Remus nodded encouragingly, "Good. Now put your hands here," he lifted his hands from the wound and quickly stuffed his scarf into Lily's hands before guiding her to cover Snape's neck, "Keep applying pressure."_

_Lily followed mindlessly, her eyes transfixed on the blood still bubbling up between her fingers._

_The train stuttered to a halt, jostling the group huddled on the floor._

" _James must have gotten the Conductor to stop the train," Peter observed._

_Remus drew his wand, "I'm going to try and close the wound. It won't last long, but it will buy us time."_

_Lily nodded, "Just do it."_

_Remus waved his wand, reciting a spell he recalled all too well from Pomfrey all those mornings he spent after a transformation. It should have mended most wounds and he had acquired quite a number of them over the years. Having seen Pomfrey do it so many times, he practically knew the wand work for it by heart._

_However, this time it had no effect._

_Remus frowned, waving his wand again. Still, blood seeped through the now soaked scarf and coated Lily's fingers._

" _Something's wrong," he muttered, "I can't close it."_

" _What do you mean, you can't close it?" Mary cried, taking it upon herself to give Snape her remaining blood replenisher, "he's bleeding out and you can't close it?"_

" _It's different than other cuts," Remus protested, "I don't know what's wrong with this one but it won't close with spells."_

" _Well think of something quick, because I'm out of potion," Mary yelled._

" _The conductor sent word to Hogwarts," James cried, running back down the corridor._

" _He's calling the Aurors too," James went on when he got to them, falling forward to brace his hands on his knees, panting heavily, "And some healers."_

" _We need more blood replenishers," Remus told James, "We're all out."_

" _Does anyone else have one?" Peter asked nervously, eyes scanning the growing crowd._

" _Dunno," James replied. He turned to the crowd, "Oi! Unless one of you has a blood replenisher on you, get back in your compartments or help us! You're blocking the hall and healers will be coming soon."_

_Several students fled back into their train compartments, frantically searching for any potions they may have smuggled in their suitcases._

" _Sev would have some," Lily said quietly, her voice hoarse from screaming._

" _What?" Remus asked._

" _The potion," Lily elaborated, "He's got loads of them, always had. He'd know what to do…"_

_Remus frowned, "Lily, Snape's the one unconscious. We can't ask him for help."_

" _Sev would know what to do," Lilly repeatedly hollowly, "He knows this spell; he'd know what to do."_

" _Lily," Remus reached out and grabbed Lily's shoulders, trying to look her in the eyes, "Lily, did Snape ever tell you the counterspell? Lily?" he gave her a shake, fingers digging into the robe she wore; Sev's robe. "Lily!"_

" _It's in his trunk," Lily whimpered, "it would be with his books. He writes everything down."_

_James whipped his wand out, "Accio Snape's trunk!"_

_Nothing happened._

" _Accio Snape's—"_

" _James there's no way Snape would allow his trunk to be so easily summoned," Remus yelled over James, "It's got to be warded."_

" _Accio—"_

" _Accio, Severus' trunk!" Lily cried._

_She honestly hadn't expected it to work. In all the panic and desperation, she had simply acted in order to have something to do. She felt so helpless and was frankly about ready to try anything._

_Shattering glass was heard from farther down the train, followed by a canopy of screams. The noise grew louder as more voices of confusion and bewilderment filled the train. Suddenly, a very worn and scraped trunk burst through the nearest window, showering the group in a rain of glass and sending the remaining onlookers scurrying frantically back into their compartments._

_Remus stared, mystified, "That shouldn't have worked…"_

_Sirius burst into the train car, his eyes wild, "You guys won't believe it! Someone's trunk just shot out of a compartment and right out the window!" he took in the scene before him, his eyes on the growing pool of blood, "Bloody hell! Just how bad is it?! I didn't even know a person had that much blood in them."_

" _Not helping, Sirius," Remus reprimanded. He held out his hand for the potion Sirius had returned with, pouring it into Snape's mouth._

_Lily was stunned, her eyes resting on the trunk that landed a mere few inches away from her. As if drawn to it, Lily reached for the trunk._

_Click!_

_The second Lily's fingers had even grazed the lid; the lock popped open and fell to the floor with a dull thud._

" _How did you do that?" Mary asked in amazement._

_Lily stared on in astonishment, "I-I don't know…I…"_

" _No time for that," Remus cut in, "Lily, what are we looking for?"_

" _Oh," Lily gasped, her hands going back to join Mary's on Snape's neck, "Right. Um…his potions book! That should have it. It's where all his other spells are."_

_Remus dove into the trunk, shoving old clothes and ratty sneakers out of the way, sorting through stacks of notes and hand-me-down books that had seen better days. After some searching, he pulled out a weathered, green book, the spine of it worn away so there was no title on the side, "Here it is! What is the spell called?"_

" _It was Sepra-something," Mary tried to recall, "Sepra...Secta..."_

" _Sectumsempra," Lily said, her eyes on Severus. Severus' breath was growing shallower by the second and it terrified her._

" _Found it," Remus exclaimed, he examined the familiar cramped handwriting, noticing with a frown the added 'For enemies' in the margin. 'He probably wasn't expecting friendly fire on such a level,' Remus thought. He flipped a few more pages before pausing. Maybe Snape did plan for that._

" _I've got something," Remus called out, "It looks like some sort of counter-curse."_

" _That must be it," Lily replied, craning her neck to look at the page._

_Remus put the book on the ground between them, picking up his wand, "We need to make sure we get this right," he began. Pointing his wand at Snape's neck, he started reciting the counter-curse. It was melodic in a way, almost a song. When he finished the spell, he lowered his wand, gesturing for Lily and Mary to moved their hands away from the wound._

_Lily pulled back the ruined scarf. The wound had shrunk the tiniest amount, but had not closed, "It didn't work!"_

_Remus shook his head, baffled, "I don't understand, '_ _Vulnera Sanentur' means 'healed wounds', it should be the right spell. Did I say it wrong?" He repeated the spell again._

" _Look," Mary pointed at Snape's neck._

_The wound had closed a fraction of an inch that time._

" _It must be a chant," Lily cried, grabbing her wand, "Let's do it again."_

_Together the pair repeated the chant over and over again, their voices intermingling in a somber song of Ancient Latin._

_Slowly but surely, the gash on Snape's neck shrunk smaller and smaller until it was a mere seam of fused skin across his throat._

" _We did it," Lily wept openly, hands falling to Severus' face, uncaring of the dried blood on her hands, "Sev, hang in there, please. You're going to be okay," she whispered, her forehead pressed to his._

_Loud cracks were heard just outside the train._

" _They're here," Remus breathed, slumping against the wall in relief._

_The train car's door opened and several wizards poured onto the scene, wands drawn and shouting orders..._

 

{page break}

 

Lily ended her tale with a watery smile, "And that's what happened. Our chanting was a little weak, I guess, so the skin didn't heal all the way, but we did what we could. If the others hadn't helped me, you could have..." she broke off, unable to finished that sentence.

"You're very fortunate to be alive, Mr. Snape," Parish added, looking over her notes.

Severus nodded absently, dumbfounded.

Lily squeezed Severus' hand, "Sev?...why did your trunk open for me?"

Snape blink, "I didn't ward it against you," he explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I trust you."

Lily grinned, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Carefully she leaned forward and enveloped Severus in her arms, "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered.

Snape froze, stunned. Lily had always been an affectionate friend, he had never truly been comfortable with hugs, unused to them. Over time, her touch came less and less, just as Snape began to mature and crave it.

Severus wished he could move his arms to hold her back, but his body was numb dead weight. Instead he settled for tucking his head into the crook of her neck, relishing in the scent of her hair. Even unwashed it smelled like fresh air and apples.

"What happened to Avery and Mulciber?" Severus asked after a minute.

Lily pulled back—Severus was saddened by the loss of contact—and her smile grew broader.

"The Aurors caught them trying to apparate from the train," she explained, "Mulciber couldn't even get himself to move an inch and Avery splinched himself, making it only three feet."

"So they've been arrested?" Snape asked.

Lily nodded, "No clue when they will stand trial, but they're locked away for now."

"As they should be!" Hank Evans exclaimed angrily, "After the things those boys did, I say they lock them up and throw away the key!"

"Which is why we really can't thank you enough, Severus," Willow added, coming over to clasp Severus hand within her own, "Thank you so much for protecting Lily," she pulled Severus into her arms, hugging him tightly.

"You have no idea how grateful we are," she whispered.

Severus glanced at Lily over Willow's shoulder. Her eyes were wet and bright, but there was a haunted look lingering just below the surface.

It all made sense now why the Evans were acting even friendlier than usual. The gratitude they felt for having someone saving their daughter must be enormous. Still, Severus couldn't help wonder just how much of the attack Lily had divulged to them.

Seeing Severus' questioning gaze, Lily shook her head and smiled sadly. It would seem what happened with Avery wasn't a subject she was ready to approach yet; not even with her parents.

Parish clearing her throat called everyone back to the topic at hand.

"So, I've put you on a steady supply of pain potion for the time being, Mr. Snape," the healer said, "A strong one too. You won't feel a thing from the neck down for the next few days. Until then, we'll be keeping you on a strong regimen of fluids; no solid foods."

She transfigured the mirror back into a glass and with a flick of her wand, it filled with water.

"Well, I best be off for now. There's still some details we'll need to go over later, but for now, just try and get some rest. One more thing; your parents have been contacted. You're mother informed us she would try and come see you if possible, but apparently she is dealing with some health problems at home." With a courteous nod to the Evans family, Healer Parish left.

 _'That doesn't surprise me,'_ Severus thought acidly, _'I doubt the bastard would let her leave.'_

"Is there anything we can get for you, Severus," Willow asked kindly, fluffing Snape's pillow.

Severus tried to shrug before remembering he couldn't, "Not really..."

"Surely there must be something," Willow insisted, adjusting his blankets before reaching forward to lovingly smooth Severus' hair away from his face, "You haven't eaten in days, you must be positively famished. How does some nice soup sound?"

"I suppose I could eat," Severus admitted begrudgingly, "A little."

Willow smiled, "There, you see? I'm sure this place has a cafeteria or something. We'll go fetch you some soup."

"I know what his favorite is," Lily exclaimed, jumping up from her chair, "I'll get it for you, Severus."

"I could use a bite myself," Hank added, "Perhaps they have some sandwiches."

"We'll be right back, Sev," Lily called, leading her parents out the door.

Once they were gone, Severus slumped back against his bed, sinking comfortably into the pillows with a sigh. Though it had apparently been days since the confrontation on the train, for Snape it felt like everything had just happened, so much time he had missed. It was a lot to take in all at once.

"She's not telling us everything," came a soft voice from the far side of the room.

Severus turned his head ever so slightly, as much as he could managed, to see his remaining guest.

Petunia stood in the corner leaning up against the wall with her arms crossed. She had been so quiet all this time that honestly Snape had forgotten she was there.

"Lily," Petunia elaborated, "She said they tried to hurt her, but that's not the full story. The authorities gave us some idea while she was being checked over. So how bad was it?"

"If Lily hasn't said anything to you then it isn't my place to speak for her," Snape replied tersely.

"You don't need to, that way you're acting says it all," Petunia stated.

Severus had no response for that.

Petunia looked away, an unreadable expression on her face, "He was trying to...he was going to...she could have been—" she swallowed, turning to look back at Snape, "Tell me I'm wrong."

Severus said nothing.

"You stopped him," Petunia went on. It wasn't a question.

"I thrashed him," Snape said, his eyes hard.

Petunia got up and headed for the door.

"She's still my sister," she whispered quietly, pausing in the doorway. She gave Snape one final look, "Thank you."

It sounded like it killed her to say it, but still the gratitude was there.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it folks, the arrival of Petunia!
> 
> It has always been my impression that Petunia never hated her sister, so much as all she represented: a magical experience Petunia could never have, praise for being special that Petunia would never receive, a reminder that Petunia would always be the exact opposite of her sister from looks to abilities. By the time she reached an adult, it was too late for her to fix the years of resentment she had built up. But I always felt that there was hope for her when she was young. This incident has provided Petunia with the reminder that Lily is still her sister and that even in her fantastical world of magic there are still dangerous and that life isn't as perfect for Lily as she thought.
> 
> I don't think it unreasonable to assume that the healers of St. Mungos would know medical terms for the body even when using magic instead of surgery to heal it. They would need to know what those parts are called even if they can fix them with a wave of their wand. Otherwise it would be like "Hand me a potion, so I can fix that...that gushy, stringy thing next to the heart."
> 
> SO this is another chapter down and once again, I encourage you to read and review. I greatly appreciate the feedback


	9. Can of Worms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus does some deep thinking and Lily does some deep talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thanks for sticking with me so far. It has been a real treat writing for you.
> 
> I'mm stoked by all the reviews I received for te previous two chapters. You've all been so invested in Severus's wellbeing.
> 
> This chapter brings back my OCs, but they're really just there to provide a sounding board for Severus to bounce his thoughts off of in the beginning.

* * *

 

"So, it looks like they patched you up fairly well," Simone said, fiddling with a puzzle cube from Davis.

Two days after waking up, the healers deemed Snape well enough to have visitors. Before he regained consciousness, the only people allowed in had been Lily and her family.

The invitation was extended to his own parents naturally, but Snape's mother had sent word that Tobias was too ill to visit and she would try to stop by only if she wasn't too busy looking after him. It was an obvious lie; Tobias had most likely simply refused to set foot in a wizard hospital or let his wife do the same. It was in their absence that the Healers allowed for Lily's family to sit vigil by Severus' bedside, twisting and exploiting a few legal loopholes to let them stand in as a pseudo family for their patient in the meantime.

Now that Snape could actually have visits from friends, he was surprised to see a number of well-wishers come in the form of his new acquaintances from Hogwarts. All the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs Snape had spent his final weeks at Hogwarts studying with sent a slew of cards and various gifts.

An assortment of sweets came in from the Hufflepuffs, while there were a number of books, journals, and brainteasers from the Ravenclaws, presumably to ensure his mind did not go dull in the meantime.

Davis and a Hufflepuff girl by the name of Nesme—with whom Snape had played chess with several times—came in person to deliver the gifts, each bringing their own tidings of 'get well soon' and apologies for not having been with Severus when the fight occurred.

"If I had been with you, I would have hexed that rotten Avery's bollocks off!" Nesme had declared quite hotly. She had quickly smothered Severus in a not so appreciated hug and bestowed upon him a knitted neck warmer. The gesture was kind, but unnecessary given the warm summer weather, but clearly, the girl felt Snape needed extra protection and coverage around his throat now.

The allowance for visitors meant Simone and Thea made their way to Severus' side as well. Bringing a high quality leather bound book on rare potion ingredients and pricy ink in a platinum rimmed inkwell, the pair descended upon the bed ridden boy with their usual brand of affections. Thea busied herself with tidying and organizing the gifts as she made quiet inquiries of Snape's health, while Simone loudly berated the boy for taking on two wizards at once in close quarters, interrupting her own tirade repeatedly to inspect Snape's gifts and comment on the quality of the room.

"Did you honestly expect them to fight fair?" Simone practically shouted, "Those louts know when they're bested on skill alone—what is this? It's so colorful and the pieces move. What do I do with this?—of  _course_  Avery would play dirty! Thinking he wouldn't is like assuming a dragon won't set you on fire and eat you once you're nice and crispy—this room is appallingly small. Is it just me? It must just be me—it's  _suicide_ , Snape! Don't be so rash next time—seriously, am I supposed to solve this thing or something?" She shook the rubric cube from Davis, calling for Severus' attention.

Snape rolled his eyes, "You match all the colors up by rotating the different rows. In the end you should have all yellow on one side, all blue on another, etc, etc."

"The novelty of it," Simone marveled, holding the cube above her head to examine.

"So is there another reason you are here aside to give me a lecture?" Severus asked, annoyed.

"Quite," Simone hopped down from the windowsill and approached Severus' bedside. Without a word of warning, she leaned down and gave him the briefest of hugs.

"I'm glad you're alright," she said simply when she stood back up. She kept her head high, refusing to look at him, "I suppose it would be a shame if you died before you graduated."

"Right, because I would be so well missed at school," Snape drawled.

Simone gestured to the pile of presents Thea had arranged on the table, "I can think of a few people who might shed a tear," was all she said.

Snape eyed the pile suspiciously, "I honestly didn't expect them to be so worried about me."

Simone shrugged, "Why wouldn't they be? You've become a rather common presence in their lives. I imagine you dying would be quite unsettling for some of them." She watched Snape out of the corner of her eye, "It would seem you've made a decision."

Snape quirked an eyebrow, "On what?"

"On them. The Death Eaters," Simone clarified, "You just managed to send two of his future followers to a potentially life long stay at Azkaban. And all to protect a muggleborn. I doubt he's going to welcome you with open arms now."

Snape sighed, "No…I suppose not."

"You weren't still hoping to join him, were you?" Simone questioned.

Severus thought about it a minute, mulling the question over in his head. Eventually he shook his head, "No. Not anymore. I don't think I could bring myself to be one at this point. What Avery and Mulciber did…it was nothing like the ideals they taught us while trying to recruit us. It was nothing like  _his_  teachings. But…" Snape shook his head, "looking into Avery's eyes, I saw such…conviction. Like he truly believed in what he was doing, like it put him in the right somehow."

Snape turned to Simone, his eyes haunted, "Avery talks big at school but deep down he's a follower. Whether it is Malfoy's instructions or someone higher, Avery's just carrying out another's will. He did what he did because he believe someone would either approve. Someone gave him the impression that it was justified. I don't know who, but they're on  _his_  side…and I don't think I can be a part of something like that…not after what happened."

"Wise words," Simone stated, "Though I can't say you severed your ties with them too cleanly; this incident is bond to attract  _his_  attention and not in the good way."

"I know," Severus admitted.

"Are you going home after this?" Thea asked timidly, coming to stand by Snape's bedside, a glass of water in hand, "When you're released, I mean. Will you be going home or will the Evans be taking you in?"

Snape looked at her, "Why would they take me in?" he asked, utterly baffled, "I've got a house to go back to."

"Not a very good one," Simone muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Severus asked dangerously.

Simone raised her hands, "Nothing, nothing…ooh look! Red hair!" she pointed to the left side of Snape's bed, "What have you been up to, Snape?"

Severus followed her gaze to his pillow. There on the linen lay a few strands of long red hair. They mushed into the rumpled pillowcase, curving this way and that along the grooves in the fabric, as though someone's head had been resting there not too long ago.

"I didn't notice," Snape began, confused. Since he woke up, he had come to find the sensation of numbness below his head had limited his movements to simply looking left and right. He couldn't lift his arms or legs and his torso stayed glued to the mattress unless someone lifted him into a sitting position. This was not just limited to his waking hours either. According to a very short and clipped explanation from Petunia he had 'slept like the dead' during his impromptu coma, never moving a muscle, much to the concern of the healers.

This meant his bed had gone relatively undisturbed as he lay still, the covers untouched around him from a lack of tossing and turning. But now that he thought about it, before the nurse came in to make his bed the morning he woke up, the left side had been ruffled slightly, the blankets moved around and turned up like someone had been under them at some point. The nurse hadn't touched the pillow and the red hairs still remained.

" _Lily?"_  Severus wondered.

"Isn't this an interesting development?" Simone teased.

"There is no development," Severus insisted, "I was asleep. Nothing happened."

"Oh, and here I thought I needed to be worried someone was stealing you from me," Simone smirked.

"They can't steal from you what you never had," Severus sneered.

Simone pouted, "Pity."

Throwing her arms up over her head, Simone leaned back in a stretch, "Well Thea and I should be going now. We have reservations for lunch in at that new café in Diagon Alley. You've probably heard of it; the  _Golden Bridle_? It is a classy joint and it's rumored the chef puts Unicorn milk in his dishes. Very interesting."

Simone beckoned to Thea and the pair headed for the door. On the way out, they bumped into Lily, returning from grabbing Severus some lunch.

"Oh!" Lily gasped, righting herself before she spilled Severus' stew, "Leaving so soon?"

Simone nodded, "We hate to cut it short, but my parents are expecting us."

Thea smiled warmly at Lily, "It was lovely to see you."

Lily smiled in return, "And you as well," she replied kindly.

"Well, we mustn't dawdle," Simone said, linking her arm with Thea's, "Say goodbye, Thea."

"Goodbye Severus," Thea called, already being ushered out the door, "Get well soon!"

Left alone, Lily and Severus stared at each other awkwardly, not sure what to do or say.

"Um," Lily began, "Oh, I brought you something to eat." She approached the bed and placed the tray on the side table, pushing it closer for Severus.

"Thank," Severus asked, not yet moving it try the stew, "Where are your parents?"

"Talking to the doctor—the healer—right now," Lily explained, "I'm still getting used to that, I'm used to muggle hospitals. Anyway, my parents should be along in a minute, but Petunia went home. She…um…she doesn't feel very comfortable here."

Severus nodded, "Right, the whole magic thing."

"Exactly," Lily said in return. They sat in silence for a moment or two before Lily spoke again, "The stew is going to get cold if you don't eat it soon."

Severus allowed Lily to lift the spoon to his mouth without complaint, though he greatly would have loved to tell Lily he was old enough to eat when he wanted to. As with all hospital food, the stew was bland, not foul tasting or anything, but not very flavorful. The broth was weak and needed more salt and pepper and the meat was a tad more chewy than tender while the potatoes had been overcooked and mushed too easily into mash. Still it was better than the nutrient potions the healers had been plying him with all morning. At this point, anything was a blessing if it would get the taste of the last vial out of his mouth.

"Hey Sev?" Lily said after a few minutes of silence.

Severus tilted his head in acknowledgment, his mouth still full.

"I never got to thank you for what you did back there on the train," Lily said quietly, "It really means a lot to me that you would stand up for me to your friends like that."

Swallowing, Severus attempted to roll a little on his back, prompting Lily to assist him until he was leaning on his side facing her.

"They aren't my friends, Lily," he said, "I don't think I ever saw them as friends either."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"They were convenient for me," Severus went on, "People to hide behind so I wouldn't get picked on in Slytherin, purebloods to make me feel important. But I never liked them. Sometimes when they said things about people I hated—like Potter or Black—it was funny and I could get a laugh or two, but for the most part being around them was a chore. They had no interest in learning, no appreciation for what they had or what they could become. So used to having everything handed to them that they never had to work for it…like I did. In a way, being around them just constantly reminded me of how they were everything I hated in a person. But I kept them close because—"

"Because they said they could help you," Lily finished understandingly, "Simone told me they wanted to use you."

Severus let out a humorless laugh, "She said the same to me. Lousy girl, sticking her nose into everything," Severus closed his eyes, "I hate it when she's right."

"I'm glad she was," Lily admitted, "I'm glad she was right about them, about you."

"Me?" Severus asked, bewildered.

"You chose me, Sev," Lily said her voice choked with emotion, "I was so scared and…and you came for me. You could have just turned your back on the whole thing, like I did to you and yet you didn't," she buried her face in her hands, "And I'm so happy that you didn't."

"Chose you? Lily it wasn't a choice at all," Severus wished he could reach out to Lily, to wrap his arms around her or just touch her hair, "It always would have been you."

"But, what I said," Lily stammered, "How I acted…I turned my back on you."

"And nothing you could have said or done would have meant you deserved what happened," Snape said with finality, "Lily, no matter what you say or do to me, I will always come for you."

Lily peered at Snape from the top of her hands, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Can I tell you something?" Severus asked.

Lily hiccupped then nodded.

"I was looking for Avery back on the train," Snape confessed, "I knew he had wanted to see me and that I wouldn't be able to speak with him once we arrived home. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. I had plans to join for quite some time, but lately I was so unsure of everything. Simone got in my head; she kept making me question everything I thought I knew. If Avery asked me to choose between you and them…I wouldn't be able to respond. I wanted both, Lily; I thought I could have both. But…the further I went down the train the more I kept thinking of you," he looked at Lily, held her gaze for as long as he could," when you looked at me that day, it was the first time in days since I had seen you smile at me. When I saw you smile, I could breathe again. It was like I had been suffocating all this time and didn't even realize until the breath came back."

"…I loved that feeling," Snape said quietly, "I never felt like that with anything else. Nothing Avery promised me ever felt as good as seeing you smile like that. I wanted to hold unto that moment, to lock it away and keep it for myself. I kept thinking about what life would be like if I never felt like that again…if I never saw you smile for me again. Lily…I don't think I could ever give that up."

He flushed and looked away, embarrassed that he had said too much.

"When I found you on the train," he continued, "There was no choice. It had to be you. I could never choose anything or anyone else. I know that now."

"Sev…" Lily whimpered, her tears spilling over as if a dam had broken. She reached out to her friend and pulled him into a hug. Pushing the tray aside, she scooted onto the edge of the bed, drawing her legs up and curling into Severus' side as she held him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Severus leaned into her embrace, relishing the warmth she radiated, the sweet scent of her hair as it brushed his face. "I'm so sorry," he whispered back.

 

{page break}

 

Neither of them knew how long they stayed like that, just holding each other, but neither of them really cared. They took solace in the comfort each offered the other, both trying to reassure themselves the other was there, safe and out of harms way.

After some time just enjoying each others presence, Lily pulled back so that she could look at Severus properly, "There's a lot we need to talk about," she began.

Before she could continue, the pair was interrupted by a sound in the hall. It sounded like whispering, but the voices were too angry to do a better job at keeping their voices down.

"I don't care what anyone says, Hank," Mrs. Evans was saying, "he needs to come home with us. I will not send him back there."

"Now, now, Willow, the authorities said it needs to be his choice," Mr. Evans soothed.

"You heard those doctors!" Willow replied shrilly, "Some of the marks they found were years old. Years! Not even the bend in his nose is natural; it's been broken and healed wrong several times. I'm telling you, he cannot go back to that house!"

Lily felt Severus stiffen besides her, "Sev?" she shook his shoulder lightly, "Sev, I know you don't like to talk about it, but if you ever need to, I'm—"

"It's fine, Lily," Snape insisted, "There's nothing to talk about."

"But that's not true, you're—" a knocking at the door cut Lily off.

Mr. Evans stood in the doorway, accompanied by a rather stern looking man, "Sorry to bother you Severus, but this gentleman here would like a word with you."

Not waiting for an invite in, the man strode into the room, leaving Lily's parents to gawk in the doorway.

He was a tall thin man, almost inhumanely so, with gangly arms and sharp elbows. His graying hair was slick and combed back on his head into a short, straight ponytail. His glasses sat on the far too thin bridge of his nose, riding down slightly so that when he looked over them at a person, there was a distinct air of condescension.

"Mr. Snape," he said, in a lofty baritone, "I'm Alabast Wrence, from the child welfare office of the ministry."

"Hello," Snape replied, not at all welcoming.

"I've been called here today on the grounds of some concerns had by your healers," Wrence stated, pulling out a quill and some parchment from his robes. Pulling out an ink well from seemingly vast hidden pockets, he set it down next to Snape's half eaten lunch and placed the parchment on his lap over his folded knee, "Do you suppose I could talk to you about the matter?" he asked.

Sensing this was going to be a rather tense discussion, Lily slid off the bed and gave the pair some space.

"I'm afraid you'll half to elaborate more," Snape drawled, "I have no idea what concerns you are referring to."

Wrence was unperturbed, making a note on his parchment.

"It says here they have noted a history of physical injuries," Wrence explained, reading a list of notes, "Including a few internal abnormalities which could be contributed to physical damage," He leveled Severus with a questioning look, "Care to explain?"

Severus tried to shrug, before remembering he couldn't, "I'm bullied often in school," was his clipped reply, "boys tend to get rough. You know how it is."

"Ah, yes," Wrence said disinterestedly, "The old 'boys with be boys' defense. Well Mr. Snape, that would be all well and good if it wasn't for the fact that some of these injuries can be traced to having taken place… oh I'd say roughly about twelve or fourteen years ago."

"I'm clumsy," was Severus' response.

"Really?" Wrence replied, looking thoroughly unconvinced.

"Most children are," Snape said.

"Yes, but that is an awful lot of 'clumsiness' to be accounted for, what with the hairline fractures, broken ribs, sprains and contusions," Wrence shot back, writing more on his parchment. He regarded Severus with a critical eye.

"I was exceptionally clumsy," Severus insisted woodenly.

"What would you say your home life is like?" Wrence asked. How predictable it was that the conversation would lead there.

"Average," Snape answered.

Wrence hummed, making a few notes on his parchment, "Really? No complaints?"

"You'd be hard press to find a teenage who didn't have complaints about home," Severus stated moodily.

Wrence snorted, "Yes, of course, but we both know I'm not really asking about typical teenage complaints, now am I?"

Snape did not answer.

Wrence made another note and then flipped to another parchment, "And, am I to understand your parents have not been to see you, Mr. Snape?"

"They're busy," Snape said, growing more and more agitated by the second.

"Too busy to visit their son who almost died of blood loss?" Wrence challenged.

Snape grit his teeth, "My father is sick."

"Of course," Wrence drawled.

Lily watch the exchange with wide eyes.

' _What's he doing,'_  she wondered, staring at Severus,  _'Just tell him the truth, Sev!'_

Behind her, Lily's parents exchanged worried glances.

"Mr. Snape, are you sure there is nothing you wish to tell me?" Mr. Wrence questioned.

"Positive," Snape said.

"There's no reason to be so tight lipped," Mr. Wrence stated in a patronizing tone, addressing Severus as if he was a child, "You can tell me."

"I said there is nothing to tell," Severus stayed firm, refusing to look at Wrence anymore.

Wrence frowned, "I see. Well, if that is your answer," he stood up, gathering his things and tucking them away in his robes, "That's all I wished to discuss. A good day Mr. Snape."

"To you as well," Severus replied insincerely.

"That's it?" Willow hissed as she and her husband followed Wrence out into the hallway, "You're done just like that?"

"Ma'am, in order to corroborate the healers' claims of abuse, I need the victim to admit that there was any abuse," Wrence drawled, checking his pocket watch, "Unless he is willing to cooperate or someone catches the abuser in the act, essentially my hands are tied."

"But surely there must be something you can do?" Mrs. Evans pleaded.

Wrence shrugged, "That's the way the law works ma'am; evidence or a confession. I can't act on speculation alone. Right now, there are two differing accounts of how he got those injuries and I can't prove which one is true short of using Veritaserum."

He rolled his eyes at their blank looks. "Truth potion," he explained with much exasperation.

"Then use some," Willow insisted.

"Against the law," Wrence said simply, "unless the higher ups authorize it, you won't see me with a bottle of the stuff."

"So we can do nothing?" Mr. Evans asked.

Wrence sighed and dug through his robes. Pulling out a shiny, silver card, he held it out to them.

"If you get any more information, contact this office via owl or Floo call," Wrence said, "Aside from that, there's nothing more I can do for you or him." With a swish of his robes, he strode away.

Lingering in the doorway, Lily frowned. She turned back to Severus, her eyes narrowing.

"Why didn't you tell him?" she demanded.

"Tell him what?" Severus asked, feigning innocence.

Lily stomped angrily over to him, "You know darn well what! Why didn't you tell him where those injuries really came from?"

"I did," Severus tried to lie.

"Oh no you didn't," Lily cut him off, "Your father gave them to you."

Severus glared at her, "I don't know where you get your information, but frankly what goes on in my house is  _none_  of your business or Wrence's."

"The hell it isn't!" Lily shrilled.

"Lily," her father called warningly.

Lily turned to look at her parents and then looked back at Snape. He was staring at a fixed point on the wall in front of him, refusing to look at her.

Sending Severus another harsh glare, Lily threw her hands up "You are so stubborn!" She marched over to her parents, fuming.

Mrs. Evans placed a hand on Lily's shoulder, "Lily, yelling at Severus isn't going to help matters."

"But he's lying," Lily insisted adamantly.

"We know, sweetie, but cornering him and demanding answers won't get you anywhere," Mr. Evans told her, "In fact, it may make him clam up more."

"But," Lily began searchingly, "But…" deflating, she sighed.

"He needs help," she said quietly. Casting a glance back at Severus, still trying to ignore her.

Willow wrapped her arms around her daughter, "I know dear, and we want to help him. We just need to convince him—gently—to talk to us about it—and only if he wants to," she added, seeing the determined look on Lily's face.

"He needs to know he can trust us and that we won't pressure him," Hank threw in.

"So what do I do for now?" Lily asked, completely at a loss.

"Be there for him," Mr. Evans suggested, patting Lily's shoulder, "Like a good friend. He's going to need you in the days ahead."

"So he's going back to his parents?" Lily fretted.

"For now, but we're going to do what we can to help him," Willow said firmly, her mind made up, "We'll get him out of there, you'll see."

Lily looked over her shoulder at Severus, her eyes sad, "I'll try not to pester him…"

"Atta girl," Mr. Evans said.

Lily approached Severus once more.

"Sev?" she tried.

He didn't answer her.

"Sev, I'm sorry I yelled at you," Lily tried again, "You're right, I shouldn't have pried. I just want you to know that if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here for you." She place her hand on his arm, wondering if he could feel it through the numbness in his limbs.

"I care about you, Sev," Lily said softly.

Severus did not move his head, but his eyes flickered over to Lily. Eyeing her silently he took in her downtrodden expression. Letting out a breath, he slowly turned and met her gaze head on.

"I suppose I may have been a little defensive," he admitted offhandedly, "I would just prefer to keep my private life private."

Lily nodded, "Of course," she agreed, though she had no intention of letting the matter lie forever. She'd get the truth out of Severus eventually. Someday he would open up to her.

Lily's parents watched on quietly, fond smiles on their faces. Giving the pair some privacy to just be themselves without an audience, they headed off down the hall to speak with the healers and see if there was perhaps a phone somewhere to check up on Petunia.

Against his will, Severus yawned.

"Are you tired?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded, fighting the heaviness in his eyes, "These potions really drain you of your energy. I feel like the day has barely started and already I'm exhausted."

"Well it's been an exhausting few days," Lily stated, bags still hanging under her own eyes.

"I might doze off for a few," Severus told her. He waited for Lily to leave the room so he could sleep, but she didn't.

"Hey Sev?" Lily asked.

"Hm?"

"Do you suppose I could stay here with you?" Lily suggested, "I mean, I'm a little tired myself, you know? And the chair isn't too comfortable." She fiddled with some of the bed spread between her fingers.

"You mean," Severus' eyes widened, catching her meaning, "You mean, like right here?"

Lily nodded, her wide and imploring.

Severus looked around warily. They  _were_  alone.

"I suppose that would be fine," he said awkwardly.

"Thanks," Lily said gratefully with a radiant smile. Quickly she climbed onto the bed, dragging one of the blankets from the foot of the bed up to cover her.

Snuggling into the pillows, she grabbed Severus hand in her own, "I'm really glad you're okay, Sev," she said sweetly.

"Me too," Snape said, "I'm glad you're alright too. And that we're friends again." He paused, "Lily…we  _are_  friends again, aren't we?"

Lily nodded happily, her eyes already closed, "We may have some things to hash out but…definitely."

For the first time in days, Severus felt something; a warmth in his body that spread from his chest down to his toes and the tips of his ears.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, another chapter down.
> 
> Some of you may be wondering about Severus's stubbornness. You're probably thinking he should be jumping at the chance to be saved from his father, but Severus, and child abuse, is a complicated matter. Like many children, Severus faces the dilemma of having one parent he loves trapped in a dangerous situation and not being willing to leave. If Severus leaves, he will worry about her being alone in that situation. Many kids feel an obligation to the parent they love to stay and tough it out with them.
> 
> Severus also can't help but be a little skeptical of the sort of help he could get from those offering it. If he is removed from his home, where would he go? That's an unknown variable for him whereas his home is familiar, no matter how unpleasant. What he sees in Wrence is the potential to be displaced and put somewhere unknown to him, where he has little to no control over the situation. At least at home, he feels some element of control, in that he chooses to engage with his father, even if it leads to pain.
> 
> Once again, read and review please. Oh, and tell your friends if they are Potter fans


	10. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus returns home and it is far from a happy reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! So another chapter is here. Trigger warning: this one contains domestic violence, spousal abuse, and child abuse. 
> 
> Not much else to say in forewarning here. 
> 
> I wish to thank my readers and reviewers once again. You are all wonderful for your feedbaack :)

* * *

 

"Are you sure you don't need help?' Mrs. Evans asked for the hundredth time.

Gathered with her family in the hospital room, she hovered worriedly over Severus as he worked at getting a simple green t-shirt on.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Evans," Severus assured her. He was slowly becoming used to moving around again, as the numbness in his limbs faded after the healer's finally stopped administering the pain potions. Now stiff and still a tad sore, he could do basic tasks like dress and feed himself without assistance. However, he still swayed if he stood in place too long and wobbled when he walked, which was why Lily's family was so wary.

Lily stood by Severus's side, a gentle guiding hand on his elbow, "He's got this, mum." She toed Severus' shoes over to him, allowing him to step into them on his own, something she knew he appreciated.

"I can't believe they're releasing you already," Mrs. Evans continued to fret, "You nearly had your throat cut out just days ago."

"To be fair the skin has closed up, mum," Lily pointed out, "It doesn't take as long as muggle stitches do. Now there's only a scar."

It was true, where there once was a open, bleeding cut, now all that remained was a jagged scar running horizontal across Severus' throat.

"As long as I take it easy and stick to soft foods for week more, I should be fine while the inside of my throat heals up," Severus explained, accepting the small bag of get well cards that Lily had gathered up from the room for him. It was an unspoken agreement by Lily's family that Severus not strain himself carrying anything too heavy, so he was being put in charge of the cards sent by his friends.

Severus didn't want to tell them that he would probably get very little rest at home. His father was a steadfast believer that only the worthless took it easy and that bed rest was a term invented by lazy people to take the day off while hard working folks like himself pulled twice the work. Of course it was a hypocritical mindset as Tobias spent much of his free time not working around the house but rather drinking away the family food budget. Still, he made it very clear on more than one occasion that no son of his would ever be caught in bed resting from a cold or an illness when there was work to be done. So it was doubtful he'd go easy on his son now that Severus was injured.

As for steering clear of heavy lifting; Severus didn't have the heart to tell Lily that he would be dragging his school trunk up the stairs himself when he arrived home.

Speaking of which, "Lily what happened to my things from the train?" Severus asked. He recalled Lily saying the trunk had come to her in the train compartment, but at the time he hadn't thought to ask what was done with it when the authorities arrived to help. He could only hope his things hadn't been confiscated by some grabby hand Auror for investigation.

"We have it all," Lily informed him.

Mr. Evans nodded, "We had it at our place since the day you arrived here. I just put it in car before we came over today. It's all ready to go home with you."

Inwardly, Severus breathed a sigh of relief, "Good."

Heading down the hall, careful of Severus and his uneasy steps, the group approached one of the desks to check out. They were not surprised to find Healer Parish waiting for them.

"Ah, ready to go?" Parish asked, looking up from her notes.

"More than ready," Severus muttered.

"Hm," Parish handed her clipboard off to a lower ranking healer—what muggles would consider a nurse—advising him to continue salve treatments on a different patient, "Well, I must say, you have made a rather fantastic recovery considering the state you were brought in here."

She walked up to Severus, handing him two small vials with stoppers in them, "Take a teaspoon of the blue one every morning until the bottle runs out to treat any lingering anemia. As for the green one, rub a dollop to the scar once in the morning and once at night for the next week and a half."

"Thank you," Severus said, examining the vials.

"Try not to lose them. These mixtures aren't cheap so replacing them is costly. Considering you won't be needing them for long, I talked my supervisor into letting me give you these trial bottles. Normally we use them on the go for any emergency Healers are called to, but we made an exception."

"That's so nice!" Lily beamed.

"Yeah...nice," Severus grumbled. He hated to be pitied.

"Thanks..." he said again, pocketing the bottles.

Parish smiled, "Think nothing of it, I swear the prices for salves these days are practically roadside robbery." Giving the family a friendly wave and biding Severus to take care, Parish returned to her papers.

 

{page break}

 

The car ride to Spinners End was spent in easy silence with some light conversation. Lily's parents asked the teens about their school work, how they thought exams went and the like, interspersed with small talk about the traffic and the weather.

Lily was all too happy to fill her parents in on hers and Severus' school lives, but Severus stayed quiet whenever a question wasn't directly posed to him. Instead, he looked out the window at the houses and town cars passing by. The houses in many of the neighborhoods were scenic, lovely little places, fit to be in paintings or made into puzzles that grandmums would build with their grandkids on lazy Sunday afternoons. They radiated cozy, warm thoughts and welcome, a stark contrast to the neighborhood Severus himself had grown up in.

Severus wasn't looking forward to returning home, but then again he never was. Every summer was noting but yelling and screaming, harsh words and hard fists. Accusations were thrown around just as often as dinner plates and the remains of his mother's wedding china. The only things that made his time at home bearable was all the time he spent with Lily.

As the picturesque cottages gave way to uniform houses with peeling paint and factory smoke on the horizon, a familiar unpleasant churning grew in Snape's stomach.

Lily watched Severus carefully. "Sev," she began, "are you sure this is what you want?"

Severus nodded, "I just need some rest and I'll be back to normal in no time."

Lily shook her head, "That's not what I'm talking about, Sev. Look...it's not too late to stay with us."

"I don't need charity, Lily," Severus replied, not looking at her.

"It's not!" Lily insisted, keeping her voice down so her parents wouldn't hear, "I'm just worried about you. Don't think I don't know what goes on in there."

Severus grit his teeth, "I don't know where you get your information, but I'm fine."

Lily grabbed a hold of Severus's hands, "You're not—"

"We're here!"

Mrs. Evans beamed back at the pair, "Glad to be home, Severus?"

Severus nodded, "Yes ma'am." He gently pried his hands out of Lily's grip.

"Sev," Lily called, following Severus out of the car.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, Lily," Severus told him, circling round to the back of the car for his things.

"But, Sev..."

"Here we go," Mr. Evans pulled Severus' trunk out of the car, "No worries, my boy, I've got this."

"I really must insist," Severus began.

Mr. Evans laughed, "Nonsense, I can carry this. You're in recovery after all."

"Sev, please talk to me," Lily pleaded as she walked with him up the stairs, Mr. and Mrs. Evans following behind them.

"There's nothing to talk about," Severus said firmly.

Lily huffed. Why did Severus have to make things so difficult? Couldn't he see she was trying to help?

As they reached Snape's house, the front door creaked open slowly. Someone peered out at them for a moment or two before the door shut. The sound of several latches being undone was heard and then door swung open to reveal the thin, bony frame of Severus's mother.

Eileen Snape was not someone people could say was ever pretty in her youth, though she was never ugly. Plain faced and lacking in curves, she was a slim and straight as a broomstick, her stringy hair just as brittle as a broom in her later years. Her eyes were dull and did not sparkle nor shine, but could fix you with a beady stare that would leave a grown man feeling like a properly chastised child. Her colorless lips were always pressed into a hard, firm line and the only reason she had so little wrinkles on her face was because she had hardly any skin hanging on her tiny frame.

She stared down at the group crowding her doorstep, her disdainful gaze a ghost of reminiscence from her noble heritage. Only when her eyes fell on Severus did her stern face soften a little.

"Severus," she said in a high, raspy voice. She reached a bony, knobby fingered hand out to him but stopped short. Clearing her throat she brought her hands back down, wiping off her dingy apron, "You're home," she observed.

"Obviously," Snape drawled.

Eileen's eyes narrowed, "Watch your mouth boy," she looked back over her son's companions, "I thought they would send word to me when they were releasing you."

"And how would they do that? An owl?" Severus scoffed, "Da would sooner stuff the thing and mount it on our door as a grisly reminder to any other owls."

Eileen took a step towards her son, her mouth pulled back in a sneer, "You best watch how you talk to me."

The Evans family stepped back warily, Lily's hand wrapped in a fistful of Severus sleeve. Even frail and next to nothing in weight, Eileen made for quite the intimidating picture when she was mad.

Eileen stared her son down, her eyes narrow slits.

Severus stared back unblinkingly, an unimpressed eyebrow raised.

After a moment, Eileen smirked. Chuckling she stepped back into the house, "If you're in the mood to piss me off, you must be better. Well, come on, get inside. You'll let a draft in if you linger."

Mr. Evans set Severus' trunk down inside the entryway, "Where do you want this?"

"Just leave there, we'll deal with it later," Eileen ordered crisply, making no move to invite the Evanses in. It was clear she had no intention of bringing them into her house.

"Sev," Lily caught Severus' arm as he went to step inside.

"Lily?" Severus raised a brow questioningly.

Lily bit her lip, casting a careful glance at Mrs. Snape watching them from the hallway, "Listen, if you need anything, call me okay?"

Severus didn't respond, an internal struggling warring on his face.

"Hurry up, boy," his mother called out, "You're father will be home soon and I want to have dinner ready before he gets here," she started heading for the kitchen, "now that you're here I have to make dinner stretch twice as far."

"Let's hang out tomorrow," Lily continued, "we'll get ice cream or something. Or read at my house. Just say you'll come see me."

"I will," Severus agree.

"Boy!" His mother called shrilly.

As Severus went to pull his hands away, Lily brought her arm up and caught him around the neck, pulling him into a hug.

"If you need anything, call," she repeated.

Stepping back, she went to join her parents who were waiting by the car.

"Bye, Severus," Mrs. Evans called, waving at the dour young man.

Lily waved as well, climbing into the car and peering out the window at him as they drove away. She continued to watch Severus until the car turned and she was out of sight.

Taking a deep breath, Severus went into his house closing the door behind him.

"Wipe your feet," his mother scolded harshly from the kitchen.

"Yes, mum," Severus replied, doing as he was told.

Eileen reappeared in the hallway, a ladle in hand.

"Well hurry up," she said, pointing the ladle at Severus' trunk, "Get that thing upstairs before your father sees it and gives me hell for it."

Severus sighed, grabbing the trunk to begin his long trek upstairs.

It was going to be a long summer.

 

{page break}

 

"Get up, boy!" The thunderous voice of Tobias Snape carried up the stairs, "I ain't calling yew twice."

Giving up on tidying his room—the place had not seen a broom or dust rag since he left at the end of last summer—Severus sighed and left his room. Carefully making his way downstairs, he was greeted by the sight of his father slumped back in one of the chairs at the kitchen table while his mother busied herself with dinner.

Already fisting a bottle of piss warm beer since their ice box was on the fritz, the Snape family patriarch was a tall man wrapped in olive colored skin weathered the consistency of burlap. He had cold piercing eyes peering out from a face of sharp edges and sunken features. The lines of his face were deep set with bitterness and disappointment and he had a perpetually five O clock shadow full of razor burns for lack of a decent razor and using water instead of shaving cream.

"Yew've spent enough time lazing about yewr room all day," Tobias said, pointing his bottle at Severus.

"I'd hardly call recovery 'lazing about'," Severus said sardonically.

Tobias looked close to throwing his bottle, but decided against it, not wanting to waste his beer, "That's enough lip out of yew. After suppa, yew can get to putting the house to rights. Yewr Mum's lousy at it."

"Well excuse me for not having time to do  _everything_  around here!" Eileen snapped angrily, "Maybe you could help out some; it isn't like you are doing much at work anyway."

This time the bottle did fly out of Tobias hand, hitting the wall over Eileen's head, causing her to yelp.

"Shut it yew!" Tobias shouted.

"Look at yew," he continued, "what are yew good fer? Nothing! Yew can't cook no decent meal, can't keep this place looking nice, all you do is run yewr mouth. Yewr lucky the boy came home when he did. Another week of this stye and I might have up and left yew. Now at least between the two of yew maybe things will get done."

Eileen sent a baleful glance at her son, but Severus didn't let it bother him. The cycle had begun again; same old story.

Tobias stumbled to the counter, reaching under the sink for a new bottle. On his way out the door to the living room he called out "Get me when suppa's ready. Don't go giving it to me cold."

Eileen swept up the broken glass, beer dripping from her hair and onto the floor. Picking up the dustpan, she passed Severus with a contemptible glare. When she had thrown away the broken pieces, she turned to Severus, her eyes hard, "If you're so good at cleaning, why don't you make yourself useful and set the table?" she snapped, turning her back on him to tend to dinner.

Severus did as he was told, not in the least bit phased. It had been years since things at home phased him. It was always the same routine. His father would have a go at one of both of them, his mother would end up getting the brunt of it because of her need to yell back, and when all as said and done, she'd take it out on him. It had been like that for years.

There was a time when Severus honestly hoped for his mother to stand by his side and maybe defend him from his father, but those days were long past as youthful daydreams and wishful thinking. He learned long ago that his mother would not fight for him. If anything, she blamed him. She'd blame him for Tobias' anger or, when Tobias was mad at her instead, taking her resentment out on her son with biting words and cold, reserved distance.

Severus recalled a time as a small child when he fell very ill. His mother had insisted on him taking cod liver oil for it. Severus had protested very strongly but he was forced to take the oil anyway. However, rather than help him, the stuff only caused him to vomit. Eileen tried to make him take more, much to Severus' protests and tears. It went on for so long that Tobias, in one of his only defenses of his son, took the bottle from Eileen and smashed it against the nearest wall, shouting about how she wasn't going to give 'the boy' anything that would make him sicker. He then proceeded to yell at Eileen for two hours, while Severus lay upstairs in bed with a fever.

Later that night, after Tobias had passed out, Eileen had come up to her son's room, with red, puffy eyes and a red mark across her cheek. In a hoarse whisper she told Severus she didn't want to hear any more sick talk from him ever again.

From that day on, Severus hid every illness he ever got.

So on and so forth did life go for Severus in his home. His father would take out his anger on his wife, who in turn would take it out on her son as a means of having some semblance of control in her life. Severus knew he should be upset with his mother but frankly he could only pity her. So far had a once proud witch fallen to be constantly demeaned and overpowered by her pitiful muggle husband, a man who was three sheets to the wind most days.

The times when she turned on Severus were the times he could see the pureblood his mother used to be. It was the way she carried herself when she ordered him around. When she would belittle his efforts in cleaning or turn up her nose at him when handing out criticism. Clearly she was a woman who grew up used to reminding her lessers that they were as such. There was a layer of hypocrisy in it as well; how she would pick at Severus for his appearance when she was one of the parents failing to provide him with soap or proper clothes.

Her vindictiveness was that of a purebloods as well. When Severus was ten, he got into a particularly nasty yelling match with her over some nonsense he could no longer recall. It wasn't that unusual for he and his mother to bicker; his whole family fought regularly. But on this particular day Severus had apparently struck a chord of some sort within his mother, for her eyes had narrowed into tiny little slits and she uttered something that made Severus heart fall to his stomach, ice cold.

"You're just like your father, you ungrateful brat."

Severus had been stunned. He didn't know what to say to that. Instead he just stood there staring at his mother in open mouthed shock. He can still recall to this day how her mouth twitched in somewhat of a triumphant smirk before she turned on her heel and strode from the room.

They didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day.

Severus thought the matter was over and done with as most arguments were, but the next day, Eileen had called him into the bathroom. What followed would forever be seared into Severus' mind for the rest of his life. His mother took a pair of scissors and cut his hair short. So unmercifully short. She had started off saying she only wanted to give him a trim, but as each strand was snipped, Eileen claimed something was off or uneven and would clip even more. Pretty soon, Severus was sitting among the scattered clippings of hair looking into the mirror to find a very unpleasantly familiar face looking back at him.

She had cut his hair eerily reminiscent of his father's.

Eileen said nothing as she patted his head and sent him on his way, but on that day, Severus knew this about his mother: she was a proud woman who would do anything to have control in her life, and she was willing to take any bit of control where she could get it, even at the cost of her own son.

That wasn't to say Severus hated or even disliked his mother. On the contrary, the feelings he held for her were the polar opposite of the frigid cold he felt for Tobias. No, he didn't hate Eileen. He recalled times of lullabies and bedtime stories. Of tales of years at Hogwarts long since past, promises late at night of what a wonderful world he would be a part of once he came of age. He remembered sitting on his mother's lap while she would regale him in secret about the prestige of being a wizard, of being magical.

Eileen had introduced Severus to the magical world and open his eyes to an escape from his life, a way out of being the mere son of a drunk in a house that constantly fell down around them. For that he would always love his mother. Those memories were precious to him and nothing she did now could take them away. For in those memories of early childhood, Severus saw the woman his mother could have been, all that she was and had lost. He saw the kind, loving mother she had the potential to be, if her bastard of a husband hadn't stripped it all away from her.

Severus glanced at his mother as he put down one of the plates at the table. Standing with her back to him, the frail figure stirred listlessly at a pot of stew, a far cry from the potioneering she once performed. Hair falling out of her bun and hanging limply in front of her face, Eileen was a shadow of the mother he once knew, the one who's smile was so vibrant and warm, who laugh filled the afternoons of his early life.

In truth, Severus blamed his father for everything. He made Eileen into the bitter, sharp-tongued woman she was now. Tobias took her pride and broke her spirit, and left in its place a woman too afraid to lift a wand in defense of herself or her own child and yet capable of bullying her son in order to feel powerful again.

Sometimes Severus would hear his mother crying at night, Tobias hissing something at her, low and menacing. Severus wasn't naive, he knew what went on in there at night, how Tobias was after he got good and drunk, but Eileen never seemed to resist him, no matter how obvious it was that she wanted to.

The one time Severus attempted to intervene earned him nothing but some bruised ribs, belt blows to his back and is mother later scolding him for getting involved. She told him a boy had no business sticking his nose into adult matters and that it was a woman's duty to serve her husband. She claimed that by butting in, Severus had only made things worse for both of them that night and he should learn to mind his own damn business.

And so Severus took on a new strategy: complacency. By keeping his head low and his nose clean, Severus managed to keep his father's ire at bay, for the most part at least. His summer breaks were spent cleaning and doing chores whenever he wasn't with Lily or doing his summer schoolwork. He took the insults in stride, kept his head down and eyes to the floor when a bottle was thrown at him, answered questions when asked and above all, tried to curb his tongue. It wasn't easy to not talk back to his father, hence his earlier slip up, but he did try. By being obedient, though it went against everything in him, Severus managed to stave off most beatings for he and his mother.

A pot clinking down onto the table pulled Severus from his musings.

"Get your father," Eileen ordered tersely without looking at her son.

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes, heading for the living room. When he spied his father slumped over on the sofa with a beer in hand, eyes fixed blearily on a futbol game on the tv, he sighed. The man was truly a sorry sight.

"Who's winning?" Severus asked casually.

"Eh?" Tobias sat up with a start, "What?" he squinted at the screen, "Dunno. The ruddy announcer can't tell me a bloody thing. He's a right Tosser, I tell yew! Dinner ready?"

Severus nodded.

Staggering to his feet, Tobias fixed his son with a bloodshot glare, "Yewr mum better have made something decent tonight. I ain't slaving at the mill all day just to come home and eat slop."

Severus made no comment, keeping to himself the fact that Tobias slacked off most days in a menial job only to spend his paycheck at the pub. He drank so often that he left them with barely enough to afford what it takes to make a passable dish.

Following his father out into the kitchen, Severus joined his parents at the rickety table that held most of their hostile, silent meals.

"How are things at the mill?" Eileen asked her husband as she began to ladle stew into their mismatched china bowls.

"Same as always," was Tobias gruff replied, digging into his food. He tore himself off a hunk of stale bread from the basket in the middle of the table and dipped it in the stew, "The foreman is going on about making some changes to 'increase productivity' again. Fat lot of good that is going to do; nothing will make that job any better."

"Maybe he should consider hiring some better quality workers," Eileen suggested snidely.

Severus gave his mother a look of exasperation; why must she always antagonize him?

Tobias scowled, "What are yew trying to say, woman?"

"Nothing dear," Eileen replied sweetly, sipping the broth from her spoon delicately.

"It better be nothing," Tobias mumbled.

Severus breathed a quiet sigh of relief; dodged that bullet.

The family sat in semi-comfortable silence for a bit, the only sounds being the clinking of dishes and slurping.

"So," Tobias said after a moment, "Am I going to get to hear just what it was yew did to piss someone off enough they'd tried to kill yew?"

"Tobias," Eileen warned.

Tobias cut her off, "Yew be quiet. I'm talking to the boy," he pointed his spoon at Severus, "So what's yew do, eh? Being a smartass again? Mouthing off to someone and they decided to clean yewr clock? Good on them."

"That's not what happened," Eileen tried futilely to explain.

"I thought I told yew to be quiet, woman," Tobias snapped, "Don't yew go making excuses for this one here. He's always been a smart mouth; about time someone put 'im in his place."

"I was trying to protect a friend," Severus said tightly.

"Oh yeah, I bet I know which friend it was," Tobias smirked, "That pretty redheaded one that yewr always running around with. Am I right? What happened, someone flip her skirt or something?"

"Not quite," Severus bit out through gritted teeth.

"Hell, I'd do it," the elder Snape admitted with a leer, "She's growing up into a fine looking bird, isn't she?"

Severus dug his nails into his palms.

"Tobias!" Eileen cried shrilly.

"What? I ain't allowed to admire a fine pair of legs when I see them?" Tobias challenged.

"Just stop talking," Severus said softly.

"What was that?" Tobias growled.

"I said that you don't know what you're talking about so  _stop talking!"_ Severus shouted, slamming his fist down on the table as he stood up.

Tobias snarled, "Why yew little..." he leaped up and grabbed Severus by the collar of his shirt, "Talk to me like that will yew? I'll show yew!" He struck Severus in the face, "Think yewr so tough now?"

Severus said nothing, he only glared defiantly at his father.

Tobias slammed Severus against the wall, his son's head colliding with the wall to make a satisfying thunk, "Answer me!"

"Tobias, put him down!" Eileen cried, trying to wrestle her husband away from him, "He just got out of the hospital, for goodness sake!"

"Well maybe I should send him back," Tobias threatened, giving Severus a shake. "Let go of me, yew bitch!" Tobias threw off Eileen's grip and backhanded her, his wife falling against the cupboards with a cry.

"Mum!" Severus cried, struggling out of his father's grip.

"See what yew've gone and done now?" Tobias spat, circlng the table to round on Eileen, "I told yew this was between me and the boy." He dragged Eileen up by her arm, "Why can't you just stay out of it?"

"Leave her alone," Severus ordered, coming between his parents.

"Ah, shove off," Tobias growled, giving his son one good push.

Because he was still shaky on his feet, Severus fell over like a bag of hammers, crashing to the floor with a clattered.

"Yew all aren't worth it," Tobias said spitefully, glaring down at his family hatefully, "I'm heading to the pub." He gave Eileen a good slap before releasing her and storming from the kitchen, the front door slamming shut moments later.

Eileen kneeled whimpering on the floor, a hand to her cheek.

"Mum," Severus called softly, crawling over to her. He reached out and titled her head up to him, forcing her to meet his gaze, "Mum?"

Eileen looked at her son sadly, placing her hand over his own on her cheek. Something soft passed across her eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came. Gaze hardening, she jerked away from Severus.

"Make yourself useful and clean up the dishes," she bit out harshly, getting to her feet. Without looking at Severus she left the room, arms wrapped tightly around herself.

Severus sat on the floor watching after her as she left. He listened to her footsteps across the floor, creaking up the stairs before the door to his parent's room shut softly.

Sighing, Severus sat back down at the table and finished eating, grimacing as his stew had gone cold.

At least he had seeing Lily to look forward to tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that writing perpetually drunk Tobias is not easy XD
> 
> Well there you have it, another chapter down. 
> 
> Now, about Eileen's behavior here. In many stories I read she is portrayed as one of two ways: the first, a victim through and through with no courage and completely beaten down by her husband. The other, a woman bitter and just as abusive as her husband. I wanted to cover a third common behavior of abuse victims, one based off of my own step grandmother. My grandfather beat her mercilessly and in turn, to feel powerful again, she beat her step child, my mother. She physically, emotionally and psychologically abused my mother in order to regain some sense of power and control in her own life. She was both a victim and an abuser and in ways she did more harm to my mom long term than her father (who abused EVERYONE).
> 
> The way I see it, Eileen is both bitter about her lot and life and fearful of letting severus grow up to be like his father, so she tries to stifle his potential to stand up to her early. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Don't forget to review!


	11. Clear the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily have a much needed talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again for another chapter, folks!
> 
> First things first, have you guys ever been to a Russian teahouse? Those places are AMAZING! 
> 
> No warning's for this chapter, but I would like to touch upon last week's chapter and the content implied. There is brief mentioning in that chapter of spousal rape. I felt it important to bring back up here in the author's note because while it was implied it was not discussed in depth. Something I would like to make clear since it is a subject often not discussed in conversations about consent and society in general: you can be sexually assaulted by your spouse or significant other. Let me be clear for my readers, agreeing to a relationship does not mean you have put consent permanently on the table; you can retract it at any time and anyone you are married to or dating that does not respect that is violating your consent and the rights to your body. Know your right, people. You are not obligated to sleep with someone simply because you are in a relationship with them.
> 
> Now in regards to my previous chapter, spousal rape is all too common in domestic abuse, but rarely discusses or justice received for the victim. This is because the victim, like many people in any relationship, believe that they are just supposed to sleep with their partner. Wanting to say no but not realizing you have the option is a common misconception for many people in a relationship. In abusive relationships, the victim may fear violence and so agree simply to avoid getting hurt. Coerced consent is not true consent; do not let anyone ever tell you that you do not have rights simple because you agreed out of a fear of being harmed.
> 
> Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, let's move on to some levity and get on with the chapter.

* * *

 

Severus' first true days of summer since his release were mercifully mild in weather. Despite what Lily had assured him was a sheer scorcher of a week while he was unconscious, the weather had evened out to a manageable, pleasant warmth with a pleasing cool breeze sweeping through the town.

Of course, none of this lovely weather would make much of a difference to Severus inside his stuffy, poorly ventilated home.

Thankfully, nearly all of Severus' time since his return had been spent outside with Lily. She had made it her job to call Severus daily—forcing him to use that confusing muggle contraption his father insisted they have—to invite him out for strolls through the park or reading in her mother's garden out back beneath the prized magnolia tree.

One place they had yet to visit was their spot down by the river, and that Severus felt was odd. It used to be their favorite place, but lately Lily avoided all mention of it. Instead she insisted on various other places to spend their time.

There was little Severus could do to refuse Lily if he wanted too—which he didn't—because Lily had all but threatened to march down to his house and retrieve him if he didn't come. The last thing Severus needed was for one of his parents to answer the door to find a pretty, upstanding member of  _polite_  society standing on their stoop. Eileen would take it as a personal affront to herself to see someone better and lovelier than her and Tobias would most likely be…well himself. Severus certainly couldn't have that.

Today's venture brought Severus to a place he was becoming all too familiar with recently. At the corner of downtown Main Street rested an old Russian tea house which Lily favored considerably. Set up long before their time, the little building had miraculously survived the tension and hostility brought on by the start of the cold war, seemingly grandfathered into the neighborhood so no one cared to belabor its presence or demand its foreclosure.

Run by an aging woman and her three grandsons, the Piroshki Tea House was a charming place with a cottage-like interior, no doubt designed to resemble a grandmother's warm and cozy home. It exuded a quaint air of welcome with fine oak tables decorated in flowered tablecloths and decked with doily placemats as well as old china plates and teacups. In the center of the room stood a circular bar behind which the grandsons prepared Kvass and strong coffees and teas the 'old fashioned way', an assortment of steel and brass urn-like objects known as Samovars placed across the bar top, emitting steam and rattling softly.

Ever the daring one, Lily tended to try something new every time they came, from a fried meat filled pastry called Chebureki, to the blini, or pancake, made with buckwheat flour and topped with sour cream and honey.

Severus, being quite wary of new foods, chose a cabbage dish shaped inside dumpling-like wraps called vareniki his first time there and got it every time thereafter. Lily found his stubbornness quite amusing.

Lily had seen to it that she and Severus became a set of 'regulars' to the establishment, preferring to take lunch there whenever possible. Normally, Severus would object to such a luxury as he couldn't afford to eat a meal out once a month, let alone once a day, but such protests had been quelled long before he could make them this time.

Apparently out of gratitude for Severus protecting their daughter, Mary's parents had sent a hefty sum of money to Severus in thanks. Not knowing where he lived or how to reach his family, the money had been sent straight to St. Mungos and had been awaiting Severus among the pile of get well cards when he woke.

It still weighed on Severus's mind and so today was no different.

"I can't believe they paid me," Severus said between bites.

Lily looked up from her cheese pie—or vatrushka as the proprietor Albina had taught them to say—and frowned, wiping crumbs from her mouth.

"It isn't payment," Lily explained for the umpteenth time, "It's a thank you. They are grateful you saved Mary."

"I didn't even know she was in the compartment until halfway through," Severus exclaimed, "I was focused on helping you."

"And by helping me, you helped her," Lily said simply, "And that's what their thankful for. And anyway, they meant it as a means of covering your medical bills, considering you did get hurt on mine and Mary's behalf."

"Yeah, so I heard," Severus grumbled, remembering the circumstances surrounding that. Severus intended to use the money to make his payment when he left St. Mungos, but when he spoke with the receptionist, he was declined. Apparently, an 'unknown source' had paid the fee in full, leaving Severus with more money in his pocket than he knew what to do with.

He tried giving his money in private to his mother when he got home. His mother did what she always had done whenever they came across a spare bit of coin; she hid it. Though Tobias didn't know it, there was a hollowed out block of wood designed to blend in with the back of the bookshelf. Eileen would place any money she got hold of inside it to avoid it being drank away at the pub. Then she placed it back behind their worn out copy of the Holy Bible, a book Tobias had insisted they have to ward off their 'heathen, unnatural ways' but he was too much of a hypocrite to ever read.

To Severus's surprise though, this time Eileen gave some of the money back to Severus.

"The less you're here," She had said, "The less trouble you'll be in with  _him_."

"Mary brought the money over herself," Lily said, breaking Severus out of his thoughts.

"What?" Severus sat up with a start, "When?"

Lily sipped delicately at her juice, "When she came to visit you, your second day there."

"Why didn't you mention this before?" Severus asked.

Lily shrugged, looking away uncomfortably, "Well, Mary wasn't really sure if she should come or not, so I didn't know if I should tell you. You two weren't really friends before this. Plus…well she and I haven't really talked much with anyone about the whole incident, so I didn't want to bring it up."

Severus let that sink in, watching Lily carefully. They avoided the topic normally, but Severus knew it weighed heavily on Lily's mind. Even now, he could see the hint of dark circles under her eyes and the wisp of fatigue drawing down on her normally bright and vibrant face.

"So how are you doing?" he asked after a moment.

Lily turned away, glancing off to the side, a distant look in her eyes, "I don't know…upset I guess."

"I can imagine so," Severus said.

Lily ran a hand through her hair, huffing in frustration, "I mean,  _yes_  I'm upset.  _Of course_  I am, but I'm also…like…numb, I guess. And maybe…I don't know, worried?"

Severus tilted his head, "About what?"

"Nothing, it's stupid," Lily waved him off.

"It can't be if it is bothering you so much," Severus said wisely.

Lily leaned forward, resting her forehead in her cupped hands, elbows on the table. If Petunia could see her now, she would be squawking about poor table manners.

Lily glanced around them warily. The place was usually empty until dinner hours, the only other patrons at the moment being an elderly couple splitting some dumplings and a middle aged man dozing over a cup of tea.

It took Lily some time to gather her thoughts, "Back before they told me they caught Avery and Mulciber, I was worried they would get away. I thought 'what if no one catches them? A-and, they just are out there somewhere? What then?' I was wondering if it would be safe to go outside my own door without looking over my shoulder."

Lily raised her head, staring at Severus with tired eyes, "Even now with him locked away, I still worry about him getting loose. What if the Ministry throws the case out?"

"They won't," Severus assured her, "You told me Potter and his gang saw them leaving the compartment and at least one of their wands has an unforgiveable recorded on it as a recent spell. Even if they try to disputes the charges for what they did to you, they will be unable to deny the imperio or nearly killing me."

' _The ministry will at least take a near death incident more seriously than Dumbledore,'_  Severus added mentally.

Lily stared into her glass, lost in thought.

"Lily…" Severus murmured.

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore," Lily admitted, shaking her head.

"Understandable," Severus agreed.

The pair slipped into an awkward silence, both staring at the table or their hands folded in front of them. Severus cleared his throat softly, looking around them. Lily lightly nibbled on a pastry.

"You know Severus…" Lily began, watching the condensation bead on her glass and pool on the table, "I actually wanted to discuss something with you today."

"I don't want to talk about my parents, Lily," Severus stated firmly.

"But Severus…"

"No," Severus refused to back down.

"But Sev, I shared something that wasn't easy; the least you could do is be more open with me!" Lily blurted out, regening on her own promise not to push. She just couldn't stand her friend acting like everything was fine while she was worried sick every minute he stayed at that house.

Severus put his glass down on the table with an exasperated sigh, "That's not how this works, Lily! It's not a matter of sharing things to make it fair."

Lily slumped in her seat, suitably chided, "…I know…"

Severus stared at Lily in quiet contemplation, "…but I suppose it was nice of you to trust me enough to be so open with me…"

Lily looked up at Severus, her eyes questioning and hopeful.

Severus sighed, leaning forward on his elbows, his voice low and quiet, "It's not as bad as whatever Simone has led you to believe."

"Are you being honest?" Lily questioned, "Don't think it has escaped my notice that you never let me meet you at your house before we come out here."

"That's because I don't want you to see what a dump it is," Severus supplied quickly, "Really things are fine at home. They just argue a lot."

"You know I don't believe that," Lily countered, "You're mother looked fit to beat you that day we dropped you off. Is she hitting you too?"

"My mother is  _fine_ ," Severus bit out, "And I would appreciate if you didn't drag her into this."

"So I'm supposed to just ignore that look in her eyes?" Lily asked challengingly.

Severus stared Lily down, stubbornness warring with frustration, " _Fine!_  My father smacks me around some," he admitted, hoping to change the subject from his mother, "Happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy! Sev, what he's doing is awful!" Lily cried, outraged.

"Plenty of father's discipline their kids, Lily," Severus said dismissively.

"Yes, but a spanking, not a beating," Lily shouted.

"Keep your voice down," Severus hissed, glancing warily around them. The elderly couple three booths away remained absorbed in enjoying their meal.

Lily leaned forward on the table, her voice hushed, "Sev, you can't pretend what your father does to you is normal. The healers said he's broken ribs before."

"They said I  _had_  broken ribs before, not that they knew who broke 'em," Severus replied through a mouthful of vareniki, eating just for lack of a better thing to do.

"And you look me in the eye and tell me he isn't the one who did it," Lily ordered.

Severus flopped his head to one shoulder dramatically, letting out yet another put upon sigh.

"Come on, then," Lily prompted.

Severus looked Lily in the eye, obsidian meeting emerald. For a moment, he simply stared into those gem-like orbs, marveling at their color. It was almost hard to believe that not too long ago; he had been firmly convinced he would never look into these eyes again.

Lily cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

Collecting himself, Severus coughed awkwardly, patting his chest unconvincingly. "Right. Well…" he held Lily's gaze, "He didn't…" he paused, loosing himself in those beautiful searching eyes.

"He didn't what?" Lily asked knowingly.

"He didn't…" Severus mouth felt dry, full of cotton as he gazed at his friend. Curse those eyes of hers. She always looked at him with such unyielding confidence and trust, like she could see all his untruths in his eyes.

Finally Severus looked away, breaking the connection between them, "He was drunk. He didn't mean to."

"And how many times has he 'not meant to', Sev," Lily asked cautiously.

Severus looked down at his hands. He looked at the slight lump protruding by his wrist, from where the bone never set right and a fragment healed out of place. He knew under his sleeves there would be a series of scars from when he didn't dodge a bottle in time, a patch of mottled skin that once held a birthmark before it was burned away from being struck with a kettle fresh off the stove.

He knew that behind his hair, the back of one of his ears was misshapen from when his father struck him too high with his belt and tore open the lobe. His mother hastily stitched it up later, all the while scolding Severus for spilling his father's beer and giving her more to clean up, hiding her black eye behind a curtain of hair.

Above all, Severus knew that for every beating he didn't get, there had been a myriad of insults and threats in its place. There were jabs at his appearance, at his lack of worth, reminders that he was lucky his father let him live at all when he could have 'drowned him when he had a chance', as Tobias so often loved to say.

"More times than I can count," Severus admitted softly.

He couldn't look at Lily now, not when he knew exactly what he would see. Lily's eyes swimming in pain and heartbreak, so unendingly kind and compassionate, so pitying and desperate. He didn't want her pity. It was bad enough he couldn't defend against his father without magic, he didn't need her feeling sorry for him on top of it.

Severus started when he felt a gentle caressed on his hand. Looking up, he saw Lily's fingers curling around his own, holding his hand tightly. Her sun-kissed skin was a sharp contrast against his pale, washed out complexion.

"That's why you hate muggles, isn't it?" Lily asked sympathetically.

Severus groaned, falling back in his seat, eyes closed, "Lily, that's neither here nor there."

Lily squeezed Severus' hand pleadingly, "Isn't it though?"

"Lily, why are we here anyway," Severus asked, changing the subject, "We've come here every day for lunch since we got home. Why not go to our spot?"

"Because things aren't back to normal with us yet and I don't want to do what we used to do until we fix things between us," Lily explained.

"Fixed what between us?" Severus asked bewildered, "I thought you forgave me."

"But you still called me that awful name," Lily replied.

"But I apologized!" Severus exclaimed.

"You apologized for hurting me, not for what you said," Lily stated.

Severus floundered helplessly, "I never meant to call you that. I  _am_  sorry for saying it!"

Lily pulled her hand away, smoothing her skirt out primly. Taking a sip of her drink, she regarded Severus sternly over the rim of her glass, "What I mean is that you are only sorry you used that word on  _me_. If it had been anyone else, you wouldn't think twice about using that word and that's the problem. I can't be the exception to your rule, Severus."

"You're not," Severus insisted futilely.

"But I am," Lily replied, "Don't try to deny it. In your eyes, everyone else can be treated like dirt for all you care, but I somehow you think I'm different; that I'm better than them. The problem is I'm not better than anyone else. I'm just Lily. If you don't think I deserve to be treated that way, then no other muggleborn should be either."

"I can't help it if they aren't as brilliant or clever as you," Severus insisted stubbornly.

"Grades aren't everything," Lily informed him, flushing at the compliment, "As it is, plenty of muggleborns are intelligent. You would know this if you actually spoke to some instead of writing them off simply because Avery told you to."

Severus sneered, hackles rising at the mention of Avery's name, "I wasn't just doing what he told me."

Lily smiled sadly, "I know. You hated muggleborns because they did just as little to help you as anyone else, right?"

"There's more to it than that," Severus replied.

"And that's something you need to work on," Lily told him, "You once told me that blood doesn't matter, and years ago, I think you meant it. I want you to mean it again, Sev, but you first need to work through this prejudice. Not all muggles are bad."

Severus snorted.

Lily rolled her eyes, "I'm serious. Haven't you had a fun time with your new friends from Ravenclaw? And what about Hufflepuff? I'm sure not all of them are purebloods."

"Their minds more than make up for anything one could find undesirable about them," Severus answered vaguely, arms crossed in front of him.

"Oh come off it! You like their company and what their bloodline is couldn't matter less to you," Lily said hotly.

"Okay, so they're alright," Severus relented, "So what? They're magical. It isn't the same as hanging out with muggles."

Lily nodded, "You're right. It certainly isn't. With muggle you have to hide a whole big secret with most of them, locking a part of yourself away out of obligation and with the muggles who do know the real you, there's still aspects of our world they can't grasp. But that doesn't make them bad."

"Tell that to my father," Severus snapped, "Or your sister."

Lily huffed, "Your father is a rare case, Sev. Good people don't beat their children and let's face it, with how much he drinks, he probably would be an unfit husband and father even if you weren't a wizard. Tell me I'm wrong."

Severus opened his mouth, but found he couldn't think of a retort. He pictured his father; a man with a superiority complex a mile wide coupled with low self esteem and little to boast of in the way of skill or charm. He thought of the man with a bottle always in his fist and few to call friends except a repugnant bunch of bar trash. Try as he might, Severus couldn't picture Tobias being any different even if he never married Eileen.

Lily ventured on, "As for Tuney, well she's…Tuney. She's a tough nut to crack. I wish I could make her like magic, but I don't see how I could. But even you can admit she's been a little better recently."

Now that Severus couldn't dispute. Ever since their brief exchange in the hospital, a sort of understanding had passed between Severus and Petunia. They had gone from frosty looks and offensive barbs, to silent nods and no words exchanged. Like two ships passing in the harbor late at night, they barely acknowledged each other's presence other than to stay out of one another's way. It was…nice.

"Yes, she acting different, but for how long?" Severus queried.

Lily shrugged, "I don't know, but I bet if you keep up your end of the civility, you can drag this out a long while. She's even stopped insulting me! Granted, we don't talk that much, but still it's better than it was before."

Lily shook her head, chiding herself for getting off track, "Anyway, my point is that not all muggles are mean or hateful. Most of them are just as nice as most wizards."

"Not the best example," Severus said with a raised brow.

"Oh…right," Lily flushed, recalling how most of the school was either indifferent or antagonistic towards Severus, "Well…what about my parents? You like them, don't you?"

"Very much," Severus admitted freely, "They're very kind to me."

Lily nodded, "Well plenty of muggles are just like them. If you got out of Spinner's End during the summer and hung around the parts of town NOT dripping in crime and alcohol, you'd get to meet them and see I'm right."

"Gee tell me how you really feel," Severus said snarkily, a bit of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lily pursed her lips, "Oh you know what I mean. Look, I really want you to work on this with me. Muggles aren't all bad. Don't let your father ruin life for you by making you hateful."

"My father isn't making me do anything," Severus said warningly, "I don't let that man control me. And he isn't making me hateful; I'm not like him."

Lily's eyes softened compassionately. Reaching out, she took Severus hands between her own again, "I know you aren't. After all you've been through, the last thing you want to do is make others feel the way you've felt, right?"

Severus stared down at Lily's hands, mesmerized by her thumbs gentle caressing his skin back and forth.

"Well…not unless they deserve it," he offered up quietly.

"But that's still too much anger in you, Sev," Lily said beseechingly, "You don't really want others to hurt like you do, do you? Not after knowing what that's like?"

Severus thought about it, chewing some skin on his chapped lips, "I don't know…" he hated what was done to him, hated how it felt, how others laughed, how no one helped him. Did it really make him any better to wish that on someone else? "I guess I just want people to leave me alone."

"And they should," Lily agreed readily.

Albina coming by to refill their glasses interrupted the pair.

"You two such precious couple," she said in her thick accent.

Severus turned a splotchy red up to his ears and Lily jumped back, startled.

"We're not together," Severus said quickly, detangling Lily's hands from his own.

Albina merely laughed, the many beaded necklaces around her neck clacking together. Winking at them, she wandered back off to the counter.

Lily watched the friendly matron walked away, feeling suddenly very aware of how her and Severus must look, coming here together every day. Shaking the thought from her head, she cleared her throat, calling Severus' attention back to her, "Listen you aren't the only one who has some things to work on," Lily stared down at her hands, "Or apologize for."

Severus looked at Lily questioningly.

"I'm sorry I smiled," Lily said after a pregnant pause, "Down by the lake. I'm sorry."

Severus was stunned, "Lily…"

Lily pushed on, determined to get this off her chest, "I never should have smiled. I guess…I was mad. We were fighting so often and I felt like you couldn't understand how it felt for me when your friends—those other Slytherin," she corrected hastily at Snape's frown, "when they put people like me down. It hurts, you know? And I felt you were okay with it, like you couldn't understand how they hurt me even when the comments weren't directed at me; they still hurt."

Severus listened patiently. Lily had never gone this far into her feelings on Pureblood rhetoric before.

Lily took a deep breath, "When Potter came after you at the lake…I thought maybe you were finally getting a chance to feel how I felt, how embarrassed and ashamed I feel when someone comments on my blood, as though I should hide myself away so as not to embarrass myself."

"Lily," Severus wanted to reach out to Lily, to give her some reassurance, but after Albina's interruption, he felt too self-conscious.

"I say it doesn't bother me, but it does, Sev," Lily admitted, "It's like being constantly told I have this sign on my face that says "doesn't belong" and everyone can see it. I feel humiliated and I guess I wanted you to feel the same…only I guess what you deal with on a daily basis is far worse than anything I go through."

Severus went to say something, anything to comfort her, but Lily raised a hand, silencing him, "I also want to apologize for not taking things with Potter seriously. You're right, it shouldn't matter what magic he uses to bother you. It's still bullying, it's still harmful," she looked Severus dead in the eyes, "And it's still wrong. Severus, you don't deserve what he does to you because you exist, no matter what he says. What's he's doing is just as bad as someone going after a muggleborn for existing; it isn't right. I'm sorry I wasn't listening to you."

"N-no, Lily," Severus stammered, lost for words, "No...it's alright, really…I'm sorry I try to tell you what to think all the time. I can't tell you who to hang out with."

"You wouldn't be doing anything that I wasn't doing," Lily pointed out sadly, "I was demanding you pick me over your house. And I'm sorry for getting so caught up in the whole Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry. I tried to act like I wasn't judging Slytherin as a whole, but I was and I'm so ashamed of that." She buried her face in her hands.

"I was doing the same," Severus volleyed back, "I was acting like everyone in Gryffindor was just as bad as Potter. I shouldn't tell you how to feel. I just…I just wanted you to understand that Potter wasn't what he made himself out to be."

Lily hummed, musingly, "I see that now. While I'm grateful that they helped us on the train, it doesn't change what they've done in the past and they have a lot to make up for," she turned to Severus, her eyes full of understanding and knowing, "A lot more than I ever realized."

Severus frowned, "What do you…?"

"I know about the Whomping Willow," Lily stated, "About what really happened."

Severus gaped at her, "How?"

"Simone," Lily elaborated, "I don't know how she did it, but her and Thea got hold of his records from the Hospital wing. Needless to say, neither of them think to highly of Potter or his friends right now."

"As they shouldn't," Severus said with surety, "Those bastards are rotten to the core."

"Can't say I find it in myself to disagree with you at the moment," Lily revealed.

"Oh?"

Lily looked up at Severus, a scowl firmly fixed in place, "You nearly died and they still kept coming after you. They go on and on about right and wrong, good and evil, and yet they don't see the injustice in you almost dying and them getting off with hardly a punishment?"

Lily took a vicious bite of her pastry, finishing off the remainder in two bites and wiping furiously at her hands with her napkin. Slapping her napkin down on the table, she took a calming breath, "Potter had us all thinking he had done some noble thing, rescuing you, but if he really had done it out of the kindness of his heart, then he wouldn't continue to mistreat you after you've been wronged not only by them but by Dumbledore."

"This really bothers you," Severus observed.

"Of course it does," Lily cried, "I almost lost you and I wouldn't have even been given the honest truth as to how or why. It would have been covered up and Potter would probably  _still_  play the hero for trying to save you."

Severus smiled faintly, truly touched.

"I'm glad you know," he said.

Lily gave him a kind smile, "Me too. I'm still so…furious with Dumbledore, though. How could he swear you to silence while letting them go off without a real punishment? Black should have been expelled; suspended at the very least."

"No arguments here," Severus said contentedly.

"And how can Black say he's different from his family when he thinks siccing a werewolf on you is a prank?!" Lily went on, "And he used a friend as a tool to do it, no less.  _A friend!"_

"Let's not go feeling bad for Lupin now," Severus cautioned, his mood turning sour.

"Sev, his own friend was willing to risk him being exposed and even executed all for fun. Don't you feel the tiniest bit outraged by that?" Lily asked.

Severus snorted, "Given that nothing Black does surprises me, not at all; I knew he would turn on someone as soon as help them."

"Yes, but this was his  _friend_ ," Lily pushed.

"Well Lupin should pick better friends then," Severus said snidely.

"Maybe he thinks bad friends are all he deserves," Lily pondered quietly, "Like someone else I know…"

Severus scowled, glaring at Lily.

Lily held his gaze with ease, "Sev…I don't think I could handle the life Remus lives. To know that you have no life, no future, because society won't let you exist in peace. To become something that terrifies you every month and worry you'll hurt everyone you care for. Severus, I don't think I could go on. Could you?"

Severus thought about it, face pinched in displeasure, "I already know what it's like to be an outcast Lily," he told her, "And it isn't like I have much of a future either."

"It's not the same, Sev," Lily argued, "Remus probably hates himself, fears what he is. Isn't that sad?"

"If you're asking if I feel sorry for the wolf, then no," Severus said obstinately.

Now it was Lily's turn to glare.

Sucking in air through her teeth, Lily tried again, "Severus, it is like turning into the thing you dread the most. You can't control it and you can't keep it from hurting people. It's like," she paused an idea coming to mind, "It's like if once a month a curse turned you into your father."

Severus' head snapped up, horror and shock in his eyes.

"Wouldn't you hate yourself, Sev," Lily whispered.

"I am  _nothing_  like that man," Severus hissed.

"But what if you couldn't help it," Lily ventured, "What if a spell or something made you do it every month. Wouldn't that be terrible? Wouldn't you be scared…would you be afraid I might judge you for something you couldn't help?"

Severus stared horrorstruck at Lily. For several agonizing minutes, neither spoke.

Finally, Severus slumped back against his seat with a growl, arms folded over his chest.

"Fine," he bit out, "I suppose Lupin has my pity. Happy?"

Lily smiled, "It's a start."

"That still doesn't change that he has terrible taste in friends," Severus pointed out, "And that he lets them do as they please."

"That's why you hate him, isn't?" Lily asked, realization dawning, "He knows what it's like to be mistreated and bullied for who he is and yet he does nothing to stop it."

"He's a coward," Severus said, nose in the air.

"Maybe so, but like I said, perhaps he thinks Potter and his gang are the best he can do for friends," Lily suggested, "They know his secret and still want to hang out with him; maybe he thinks he owes them?"

"That or he's afraid they'll out him if they don't get their way," Severus theorized darkly.

Lily shook her head, "No, that can't be it; Remus went a while without talking to either of them after the Willow incident—never knew why before, now that I think about it. Now it makes so much sense why he would be mad at them. Anyway, Potter and Black didn't out him then and he had essentially severed ties with them."

"Maybe it is debt, then," Severus said.

"It must be; they're his first real friends and so he thinks he owes it to them for 'putting up with him' or something."

"Some friends he's got," Severus snorted, "Surely they must know he feels like he can't do any better than them. Clearly they're taking advantage."

"Now I'm mad again," Lily declare, smacking her hand on the table, "They're jerks to you and jerks to him, and you're both the most brilliant minds I've ever known. They should be sucking up to you both, praising you for your accomplishments, not walking around like  _they're_  Merlin's gift to Wizardkind."

Severus flushed, "Lily…"

"I'm serious!" Lily vented, "Both of you have been some of the nicest people I could ever know and you're so smart and inventive and-and it's like the whole world couldn't be bothered to notice because Potter and Black are so busy stealing the show," Lily sighed, "You both deserve so much better."

"Well," Severus coughed, hiding his blush, "It's nice of you to think that way…" he awkwardly returned to the remains of his meal.

"He stood up for you, you know?" Lily said suddenly.

"What?" Severus asked, confused, "Who?"

"Remus," Lily explained, "He questioned me on my decision to end our friendship. Wanted to know if I really wanted to go through with it. I think he blamed himself for what happened."

"Well he certainly didn't help matters," Severus griped. Seeing Lily's glare, he sighed, "…but he didn't make me say it…"

"No, but he blames himself for you being humiliated. He knows he should have intervened and he thinks we wouldn't have had a falling out if he had," Lily replied.

"If he wants to blame anyone, then blame his friends," Severus said angrily, pointing his fork at Lily, "Kick them to the curb if he wants to do the right thing."

"It shouldn't even be his job to babysit them," Lily stated, "Dumbledore should be the one handling them, not one of their friends."

"Now that's something we can agree on," Severus said with a smirk.

"Glad to hear it," Lily replied. She glanced down at Severus plate, "You finished?"

Severus nodded, setting down his fork, "Yes, I'm afraid all this talk about Potter has ruined my appetite."

"Of course it did," Lily laughed, rolling her eyes.

Leaving their money on the table, they nodded to Albina on their way out the door, the elderly matron smiling merrily at them as they left.

The pair walked along the sidewalk together, enjoying the rare glimpse of sunlight peering through the smoke from the mill.

"So, do you want to come by my house?" Lily asked, "I'm sure there's a book in my dad's study that you haven't read yet."

"Maybe for a little while," Severus said, "But I can't be out too late, my da' wants me to clean out the attic."

"You're supposed to be taking it easy," Lily gasped.

Severus shrugged, "No such thing at my house."

"Sev, I really wish you didn't have to go back to that place," Lily said sadly, "You should have told that man from the Ministry the truth."

"And what good would it have done, Lily?" Severus asked.

Lily stared at him blankly, "What do you mean?"

Severus huffed exasperatedly, "I mean, what would it have fixed? They can't make my father treat me better and if he is arrested, how will mum and I survive? Mum doesn't work, Lily. She never has a day in her life. And she was disowned so there is no chance of money coming from there."

"The ministry could…" Lily began weakly.

Severus shook his head, "The ministry doesn't help with finances. They hardly have a decent department set up for abuse, let alone funding the victims after they escape the abuser. The best they could maybe do for me is take me out of that house, and where would I go? I have no extended family who could take me."

"Maybe a friend could take you," Lily suggested.

"That's a big burden for someone to take on themselves," Severus pointed out "That's an extra person to care for and feed."

Lily knew Severus had a point. Her own mother had been grasping at straws and suggested taking Sev in, but after a lengthy conversation with Lily's father they concluded that they didn't have the funds for it. They wouldn't feel right taking Severus in and not giving him all the essentials like good food, clothes, and luxuries that they had. But all those things costed money they couldn't provide at the moment.

"What about Simone?" Lily asked.

Severus blanched, "I'd rather kiss a Dementor."

"Don't be so dramatic," Lily chided, "So fine, we don't go to the ministry for now. But on one condition."

"Name it," Severus prompted.

"If anything and I mean  _anything_  bad happens in that house, you call me," Lily ordered, "I mean it, if he lays a hand on you and its more than a pat on the back, you call my house straight away and we'll come get you."

"Things haven't been as bad as they used to be," Severus assured Lily, but it was useless for all the good it did.

Lily stayed firm, "I'm serious. If you are in danger I want you to have the common sense to get help, you hear me?" She took a step towards Severus, "Well, do you?"

Severus put his hands up in surrender, "I hear you, I do."

"Well?" Lily asked expectantly.

Severus sighed, "Alright…I'll call you if things get bad."

"Promise?" Lily held her pinky out.

It was such an insignificant, childish gesture, one that usually held no real binding of trust, but it had been so many years since Lily had requested a pinky promise that Severus couldn't help but feel there was something far stronger being wound around this promise.

"I promise," Severus conceded, linking his pinky around Lily's.

Lily smiled, her face lighting up, "And you're going to work on this whole muggle issue."

Severus raised a brow, "I am?"

Lily nodded, "Uh-huh. We're going to show you not all muggles are bad. First step: spending more time with my parents." With that she got behind Severus and began to push him the rest of the way to her house.

"Do I get a say in this?" Severus asked.

"Nope!" Was Lily's chipper response, "You'll be spending lots of time at my house, mister."

And really, Severus wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down, huzzah!
> 
> So this chapter covers a few things that Lily and Severus really needed to hash out. As dramatic as the big heroic rescue and near death experience was, it doesn't fix the issues they need to resolve. They can't move forward until these things are address.
> 
> This chapter also touches on something I think people who vilify Lily forget about canon; she wasn't upset at being called Mudblood, so much as the knowledge that it was just further evidence of Severus going down a bad path. Even if he had never called her it, they're relationship was still on a fast track to failure, because while Severus didn't think of Lily as a Mudblood, he thought it about other muggleborns, or at least condoned their mistreatment. Lily doesn't want to be the one person Severus never treats that way; she wants to put an end to all mistreatment. And unless Severus could come to terms with that and work on his bitterness and distrust towards muggles, their friendship would always be on the course for failure.
> 
> Now Lily isn't without flaw either. She fights for what she believes in, but she sees things in limited perspectives. She trivialized what Severus went through because it was at the hands of people she viewed as the lesser of two evils. To a degree, she probably even thinks the words thrown around at her by wanna be death eaters to be worse than the constant bullying Severus endured because, from her perspective, he's being prank by "silly boys" and she is being insulted by future dark wizards. In this Lily was also dooming her friendship with Severus. Both of them have things they need to work on and hopefully now they can.
> 
> As always read and review (and please share this story around, I love gaining new readers)


	12. Chance Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain muggle makes some very special acquaintances...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back my faithful readers! Not much to say about this chapter, it's just a chapter some of you have been waiting for; development for a certain character.
> 
> On with the show!

* * *

 

"And here we have the average middle aged male, in his natural habitat: a job," Simone said in a faux voice of unbridled wonder and excitement, much like a documentarian.

Sitting on a bench at a park overlooking a local business office, Thea observed her longtime friend in bemusement.

On a daytime excursion, the pair had gotten hopelessly turned around without the aid of a map and had come upon this lovely park. Tired and frustrated—not that Simone would ever admit it—the pair had picked a bench on the outskirts of the park where Simone quickly took up one of her favorite past times; people watching.

"Let's call this man Tim," Simone went on, hands cupped around her eyes like a pair of binoculars, "Tim is a fine specimen; stout, balding, he's got a bit of a paunch so we know he is a well fed male among his herd. Notice the dull, vacant stare; that indicates he has recently eaten and is well sated. He's has broken free from the herd at the local watering hole and is now engaging in the ritualistic past time of smoking. Experts say specimens like these believe it gives them power and increases virility."

"Simone can't you just watch people quietly like a normal person," Thea pleaded, secretly amused at her friend's antics.

"People watching is far more fun the way I do it," was Simone's clipped reply, "Oh-oh dear, he's spotted me…yes he's spotted me…huh?..that can't be a polite gesture…Tim's a bit of a twat…" Simone put her hands down, watching the now very flustered, angry muggle storm back into the building, "Well there goes my entertainment. Now what?"

"Well we could always ask for directions," Thea suggested.

Simone pushed her lips together, making a raspberry sound, waving Thea's comment off with a flick of her hand, "Nonsense, we don't need help. I bet I can figure out where Severus lives in no time. I saw it once on the tag for his trunk early this year; I'll remember it."

"You've been saying that for quite some time now," Thea pointed out.

Simone brushed her off, "It'll come to me. Besides, aren't you having fun? The muggle world is so fascinating. All these bells and whistles they've got; I swear cars will never cease to amaze me. And they build practically everything by hand. Such industrious people. Even in most Wizarding trades, the craft is aided by magic; we don't even make ice cream without the use of a wand!"

"It is pretty impressive," Thea agreed, watching another car go speeding by them.

"Yes it is," Simone declared. She stood up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her clothes, "Well that's enough rest, I'd say. Let's keep going."

"Going where?" Thea asked, "We still haven't figured out where we are, let alone where to head."

Simone waggled a finger at her friend, "And there lies the adventure. Come now, when have I ever led you wrong."

Thea opened her mouth.

"Don't answer that," Simone said quickly, shushing Thea before she could speak, "Anyway, I distinctively remember that street," she pointed to a nearby sign, "in the directions. Onward!"

"What makes you so sure you'll find the place this time?" Thea inquired.

"My father was a Hufflepuff," Simone replied, "So, logic dictates that I'm a good finder."

Thea sighed, following her prideful friend on yet another wild goose chase.

 

{page break}

 

Petunia worried her lip between her teeth.

The girl before her quirked an fine, blonde eyebrow imperiously, "Well Petunia? Are you going to answer? I asked you why you missed my party?" She flipped her curly golden locks over her shoulder with a flick of a manicured hand, "You better have a good excuse."

"Yeah," piped up her pinched faced friend, her expression eerily reminiscent to that of someone who had just swallowed a lemon, "It isn't polite to turn down someone's invite."

"Even worse when someone just stands us up," added the third, a thick necked girl with a nose too small for her face, her lips caked in heavy pink lacquer.

Petunia wrung her hands, "I told you, Cynthia, I was with my family."

"And I told you that answer wasn't good enough," Cynthia said, "I want to know where you were."

"We've been in an out of the hospital," Petunia explained, "I told you that my sister's friend was hurt protecting her."

"Ah yes, that sister of yours," Cynthia sniffed.

"Does she still go to that school for delinquents?" Peggy, the pinched faced one asked nastily.

"She...still goes to the same school, yes," Petunia answered hesitantly.

"Nothing but a troublemaker," said Delilah, the third girl, shaking her head.

Cynthia gave a put upon sigh, "I trust you at least remembered to get a present for me?"

Petunia looked down at her shoes, "Well...no. We've been so busy."

"Visiting a injured Ne'er do well?" asked Delilah skeptically.

Petunia shook her head, not liking where this conversation was going, "It was serious. He really got hurt saving Lily from some bad people. Really bad. The police got involved and everything."  _'Wizard police, anyway.'_

"What happen? Your sister fall in with a bad crowd?" Cynthia teased, "It's to be expected. She's no good, Petunia." She smirked, "She probably brought it on herself; probably deserved whatever it was."

"That's not true!" Petunia blurted out. She quickly snapped her mouth shut, horrified.

Cynthia went deathly still, "What was that?"

Petunia shook her head, mouth clamped shut. She had always tried to stay on Cynthia's good side. She was one of the popular girls, the 'proper' girls. From a family with more money than Petunia's own, she toted grace and sophistication, all prim and exuding class. She even laughed with her hand hiding her mouth like the women in the movies did. In short she was everything there was to respectable,  _normal_  society.

Cynthia took a menacing step closer to Petunia, "Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"I..." Petunia stammered timidly, "I just meant that Lily didn't do anything...they just came after her."

Petunia's mind wandered back to her sister when the train pulled into the station; covered in blood that wasn't her own, wrapped in a borrowed robe to hide her ripped shirt. With nail marks on her face and bruising around her face and wrist, Lily had looked so small and lost like a little girl again. This was Petunia's baby sister, the one who's scraped knees she used to bandaged and kiss when Lily was five. And she stood before them with a split lip and the healers that met them at the station talking about needing to treat bite marks in places they should never be. Petunia felt just as sick thinking about it.

"They were the ones in the wrong," Petunia said with a bit more conviction, "Lily did nothing."

"But she's just a freak," Peggy said nasally.

"Don't call her that!" Petunia snapped.

"What's your damage, Petunia?" Cynthia asked angrily, hands on her hips, "Lately you've been all 'my family this,' and 'my sister that'. You couldn't stand any of them before. You used to jump at any chance to insult that weirdo sister of yours. What's changed now?"

"Don't tell us you actually like her now?" Delilah gasped, disgusted, "Her and her freaky friend."

Cynthia leaned forward, "Or don't tell me...you're a freak too now?"

"I-I'm not," Petunia stated hotly.

"Oh but I think you are," Cynthia said cruelly, circling Petunia like a shark, her grin just as predatory, "I think you've been hanging out too much with your freak sister and her freaky friends and now you're just as much a freak as she is."

"I said I am not!" Petunia shouted.

"Freak! Freak!" Peggy and Delilah cackled.

The girls continued to taunt her, delighting in Petunia's face turning redder and redder, her cheeks growing hot and tears stinging her eyes.

"Childish name-calling?" came a low voice from behind them, prompting the girls to whirl around.

Before them stood a pair of girls around their own age, one with skin like porcelain, the other with skin as rich as espresso. They were certainly a pretty pair, but they looked terribly out of place. Dressed straight out of the Victorian era history book, they wore high-waisted skirts that clinched as a corset under the bosom, cut short at the knee to reveal knee high, button up boots. Short sleeved white blouses buttoned all the way up their necks with ruffled cravats hanging from them. Both of them had their hair styled in tight braided buns with perfect curls hanging down from them.

The dark skinned one raised one aristocratic eyebrow at the scene before her, "Is this what pass for maturity around here?"

"And you are?" Cynthia asked rudely once she had gotten her wits about her again.

"Apparently in the presence of six year olds," Simone replied sardonically, "I think you should leave the poor girl alone."

Cynthia huffed, "Not that it is any of your business, but Petunia is our friend. She knows we're just teasing. Right?" she added sharply, looking over her shoulder at Petunia.

Petunia gulped and nodded weakly.

"If that's how you treat friends, I can't help but pity your enemies," Simone observed, "Anyway, I'm making it my business. Leave the girl alone. You're obviously upsetting her."

Cynthia narrowed her eyes into angry slits, hands on her hips.

"Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?" She asked, her two snobby friends flanking her.

"Someone who could teach you better manners," Simone drawled.

Cynthia laughed, loud and obnoxious, "You? Someone like you teach me manners?" She looked Simone up and down, a sneer forming on her face, "I've never seen one of your type hanging around this neighborhood before."

Thea stiffened, while Simone remained unphased, "Oh please, continue speaking elusively as though I can't tell what 'type' you're referring to."

Cynthia would not back down, "I'm just saying, we hardly see your kind in Cokeworth. I mean...unless you're working."

"Yeah, what are you one of the housekeeper's kids?" Peggy chortled.

Delilah snickered, "Here to apply for a cleaning job yourself?"

Glancing at Thea from the corner of her eye, Simone gave the slightest of smiles, "Now you've done it..." Her quiet friend's eyes had narrowed into pin pricks in anger.

In a series of odd events, Peggy's purse burst open at the bottom, all her items spilling out across the side walk. Something shiny rolled out among the mess, catching Peggy's attention and sending her lurching forward after it. Before she could reach it, however, a wind suddenly sprang up, sending bits of paper and random odds and ends flying up into the girl's face. Unable to intercept the pursued object, it rolled across the sidewalk to rest at Thea's feet.

Gingerly, Thea bent down and picked it up.

"I believe this is yours?" Thea questioned, holding the item out to Peggy.

Peggy hastily made a grab for the thing before anyone could get a good look at it, but she was too slow.

"Is that...William's watch?" Cynthia asked, snatching the watch from Thea's hands, "It is! The very one I gave him for his birthday. What are you doing with it, Peggy?!"

"I-I don't know," Peggy lied.

"Perhaps he forgot it while visiting you?" Simone theorized, thoroughly enjoying the exchange.

From the look on Peggy's face, Simone hit the nail on the head.

"What's  _my_  William doing visiting you, Peggy?!" Cynthia shrieked, "What's going on?"

"N-nothing," Peggy fibbed, hands raised in surrender.

"Oh like I believe that," Cynthia snarled.

"Cynthia, calm down..."

"Shut up, Delilah!" Cynthia snapped.

Simone chuckled, "Oh this is rich...your definition of friendship is truly entertaining. I mean, back stabbing, fighting, really this is a grand performance." She clapped for good measure.

Cynthia turned on Simone with a growl, "You think this is funny?"

"Hilarious," Simone replied.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" Cynthia demanded to know.

"Hm..."Simon approached Cynthia encroaching on her personal space. Quick as a whip she lashed out and produced a card, "Cynthia Dukes, student of the local private school," she observed, looking over the ID.

Cynthia bawked, completely aghast, "How did you?"

Simone smirked, tucking the ID back into Cynthia's purse, "I'm a good finder. Now let's sum up the playing field: You know nothing about me. I on the other hand, know your name, your school, and your two closest 'friends'—and I use that term lightly. That's a decent amount of info for me to do some serious snooping if I so wished. Now, you've already had one unpleasant little scandal revealed; I suggest you three saunter off before I find out which of your fathers has a mistress or something."

Cynthia opened and closed her mouth a few times, her friends gaping like fish. Recovering, she glared hatefully at Simone.

"Whatever," She said, turning on her heel and marching off, leaving her friends behind.

"Cynthia, wait!" Peggy called out, hurrying after the girl with Delilah on her heels, "I can explain!"

Simone watched them go, grinning broadly.

"I love that little trick of yours," She chuckled.

Thea flushed, embarrassed, "It's not a good thing, Sim. I don't like what it does with my emotions."

"Well it came in handy," Simone noted.

"That changes nothing," Thea insisted, "We aren't supposed to be doing anything of the sort in front of-"

Simone put a finger to her lips, "Shhh, present company," she pointed at Petunia.

Petunia stood staring between the too, seemingly lost for words.

Simone clapped her hands together, a friendly smile sliding over her face, "Well, wasn't that all an unusual coincidence? Are you alright, dear?"

"I.." Petunia began, finding her tongue, "I..." she shook her head, "Don't play games with me! I know what that was." she pointed a finger at Simone and Thea.

Simone cocked an eyebrow. "Beg Pardon," she asked innocently.

"That," Petunia elaborated, pointing at where Peggy's things were still strewn on the ground, "Magic. That purse is brand new Corinthian Leather, there's no way it would break. You used magic!"

"And by your lack of surprise, I'd say you've met one of us before, then, hm?" Simone hazard a guess.

"Do you go to that school too?" Petunia demanded.

"You mean Hogwarts?" Thea asked.

"So you  _do_  go there!" Petunia declared triumphantly.

"Indeed. Now why so hostile towards magic? It did just chase away your little problem," Simone inquired.

Petunia scowled, pursing her lips, "It's not normal," she insisted, "Unnatural."

Simone craned her head to the side, "That's a matter of perspective. You know...what with my whole family being born with magic? It's pretty normal to me."

Petunia sniffed, "I suppose that's true..."

"So who do you know with magic?" Thea asked politely.

"My sister," Petunia admitted reluctantly.

"So you hate her for being 'unnatural' I presume?" Simone questioned.

Petunia's head snapped up at that, alarmed, "I don't hate her!" Her mind kept taking her back to that scene by the train station, Lily pale and teary eyed while the authorities explained to their horrified parents what had happened, "I don't hate her. I couldn't."

"But you don't get along?" Thea inquired, "Because you aren't fond of magic?"

Petunia looked away, uncomfortable, "Well...it's complicated..."

Simone studied Petunia thoroughly, eyes narrowed in thought. Suddenly her eyes went wide with understanding, "Wait a minute...A sister in Cokeworth. She's a witch...does she have a friend with magic in around here?"

Petunia frowned, "Yeah...but we don't exactly get along well either."

"A friend you hate! You're sister is Lily," Simone cried triumphantly.

Petunia nodded.

"I don't hate him," she grumbled, "...not anymore...he's not so bad..."

Simone tilted her head thoughtfully, "So you don't call him a freak anymore?"

Petunia flushed in embarrassment, "Lily told you about that?"

Simone nodded, "Briefly, I was sort of in the middle of tearing her world asunder verbally, but yes, it was mentioned. So, can I assume this goes beyond simple sibling rivalry? Or does magic freak you out that much?"

Petunia glared at Simone, not liking where the conversation was going, "I really don't know you enough for us to be having this sort of conversation."

Simone slapped a hand to her chest, feigning shock, "Oh where are my manners? You're right of course, that was quite rude of me," she gave a small bow with an elegant sweep of her hand, "I'm Simone, and this is Theadosia."

"Pleased to meet you," Thea said with a curtsy.

"You can call her Thea," Simone added, "Now, think you can give us some insight into your dislike of magic? It's the first time I have ever really interacted with a muggle who knew about it yet didn't like it. Most families are thrilled when they find out."

Petunia rolled her eyes, "Oh trust me, my parents are thrilled. Lily is so special to them, she gets to be a part of some big special secret world, how wonderful," she waved her hands in mock celebration, "why don't we all praise Lily for being so special with her powers."

"Sounds like someone is jealous," Simone observed.

"I am not!" Petunia denied, flushing angrily, "What do I care that she gets to go off to a castle every year and make flowers bloom with a touch of her hands or see unicorns and dragons and fly through the air...it's weird. She can keep her weird little magic world. It's not like I'm a part of it anyway."

"Well, why aren't you?" Simone asked.

"What?"

"Why aren't you a part of it?" Simone repeated.

Petunia blinked, "...because I don't have magic..."

"Yes, but you  _know_  about magic," Simone pointed out, "One of your family member's has magic. So why aren't you roaming Diagon Alley or riding the Knight Bus out to Hogsmede with your sister during the summer? It's not barred to you if you're one of the muggles permitted to know about wizards."

"W-well because I told you...it's abnormal," Petunia stammered.

"You're upset it isn't you with magic, aren't you?" Simone summed up, "You're telling me you've never had a magical adventure since you found out it exists?"

Petunia shook her head.

"Well then you're in luck!" Simone exclaimed, throwing an arm around Petunia's shoulders, "You're going on one now!"

"N-now?" Petunia squawked.

"Yup," Simone declared happily.

"Sim, what about Severus?" Thea questioned, "Weren't we here to check up on him?"

"Oh that's right," Simone remembered. She turned to Petunia, "Any idea where he is?"

"He's with Lily," Petunia answered.

"Then he's in good hands for now," Simone decided, "As long as he's out of that house.

Taking Petunia by the arm, Simone dragged the muggle girl away from her average, unmagical world.

 

{page break}

 

Simone and Thea ended up bringing Petunia to Hogsmede, a place she had overheard Lily speak about often but had never seen. They led her into the priciest boutiques, having her try on robes and silk shawls woven from the finest Acromantula thread.

"I'm not sure about this," Petunia said nervously as fabric and measuring tape floated around her head.

"Nonsense, dearie," the seamstress said, "This color really brings out your eyes."

"Let the witch work, Pet," Simone told her, grinning at her petname for the girl, "She's going to make you look fabulous."

"Let's pull your hair up," the seamstress said, flicking her wand.

Petunia's hair arranged itself into an updo, fastened by a silken ribbon.

"Oh, now that's lovely," Simone said, turning Petunia towards the mirrors.

Petunia gasped. The reflection staring back at her was nothing like she had ever seen before.

Clad in a lavender robe, Petunia was encased in a high collar of intricate lace that fanned out over her shoulders before merging with the silk. Several lace stripes trailed down over her chest and widened out around the bottom of the floor length skirt and the bell sleeves ended in a lace trim.

With her hair pulled up in a bun, Petunia looked down right regal. In such expensive and fine material she had the appearance of someone far wealthier. She looked sophisticated, she looked beautiful...she looked magical.

"It suits you," Thea said kindly.

"Its...beautiful," Petunia whispered, touching the delicate lace embroidery.

"Well, enjoy it, because it's yours," Simone said, handing a sum of money to the Seamstress.

"What?" Petunia balked as the Seamstress too the robe off her and prepared to package it, "I can't take something so expensive."

"That's a shame because it's already paid for, and I'm not asking for a refund. Whatever would I do with a robe that isn't my size?"

"B-but," Petunia stammered. Floundering she looked to Thea for support, but the quiet girl just shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

"Not my size either," Thea said.

Petunia looked back and forth between the two girls with wide eyes. Seeing no way out she sighed. "Fine," she said wearily, "I'll take it."

"Wonderful!" Simone said, clapping her hands as Thea took the packaged robe from the store clerk, "Now let's go buy some matching jewelry."

The rest their time was spent in a jewelry shop, Petunia marveling over rings that truly did tell you actual mood, lockets that protected the wearer from minor harm, and necklaces that looked and smelled like actual flowers, but were as strong as steel.

When Petunia was finally dropped off back home, she walked up to her room in a daze, barely saying hello to her parents. Entering her room, she stared down in wonderment at the purchases Simone made for her. Had today really happened?

The front door opened downstairs and the sound of Lily's voice filtered up the stairs. She was probably coming home with new stories of her time with Snape, new adventures, new secrets.

Petunia looked down at the packages in her hands. Carefully, she hid them under her bed. They'd be fun to take out an wear when she was alone, but it was best to forget about magic. She wasn't a part of that world. Besides, she'd probably never see those two again; they seemed to be friends or acquaintances with Snape so it was unlikely they'd seek someone like her out anymore.

{page break}

 

A few days later Petunia was on her way to the store when she opened up the front door to find two witches on her doorstep.

"Simone!" Petunia gasped, "Thea! What are you doing here?"

"We were in the neighborhood—annoying Snape by standing outside his house and calling to him until he threatened to call the police—and we thought we stop by and visit."

"I don't understand...what do you want?" Petunia asked, flummoxed.

Simone shrugged nonchalantly, examining her nails, "I thought today was a good time for another outing. Have you eaten yet, Pet?"

"I did have a small bite to eat," Petunia said, confused.

Then there's nothing saying you can't have a snack," Simone said assuredly, "And I know just the place."

 

{page break}

 

"So what do you think?" Simone asked, "You know, now that you've had some time to let it soak in."

Seated in a velvet cushion chair in a choice spot by the window, Petunia looked around her. The café they were in was richly furnished, silken draperies and gold-inlaid trimmings on the wall moldings. Crystal chandeliers hung over every silk covered table, the lighting provided by orb-shaped globes designed to look like crystal balls. The glasses were fancy goblets with glass flowers and vines formed around bottoms and all the plates and teacups bore images of unicorns and fairies frolicking in meadows.

The place would almost pass for a fancy restaurant that Cynthia and her friends would pick, if it weren't for the fact that the crystal balls on the chandeliers were  _floating_  instead of chained to the lighting fixture. Also, the pictures on all the plates and teacups  _moved_.

"It certainly is nothing like I've ever seen before," Petunia admitted.

"Do you like it?" Simone prodded.

Petunia thought a minute, "It's growing on me, I suppose."

Simone smiled, "Excellent. I thought we'd start with something small, so as not to overwhelm you," She steepled her fingers, "Now, tell me why magic is such a touchy subject for you?"

Petunia frowned, "Well…"

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Thea told her sympathetically.

"But talking might help," Simone threw in, feigning innocence in the face of the scolding glare Thea threw her way.

Petunia traced her finger around the rim of her glass, gathering her thoughts, "When we were little, Lily could do all these amazing things; fly from a swing set make things float or glow, have flowers bloom in the palm of her hand. It was just like the fairytales we read about and Lily was like a real, live princess."

"What did your family think about all this?" Simone asked, sipping her tea.

"Mom and dad knew right away that Lily wasn't normal, so they tried extra hard to make sure she didn't feel like an oddball or anything. They encouraged it, told her it made her special instead of different. The only trouble was in making her feel extraordinary…they were making me feel…"

"Less than ordinary," Simone surmised, "Average."

Petunia looked down at the table, "Mom loves to gush over Lily's accomplishments like we're living with a celebrity and it makes everything I do seem so insignificant. 'Oh, Lily! You got top marks in your exams. That's wonderful! And they must be sooo much harder than regular exams'...meanwhile I'm sitting there having just gotten great marks on those 'regular exams'. It's like she doesn't even realize she's doing it."

"Have you tried telling her this?" Thea asked.

Petunia sighed, "Oh, I've tried. But they always trivialize their actions. 'I know you worked hard, sweetie, but magic must be so difficult; unlike anything we can imagine. I can't even fathom what their exams are like!' Mom and dad always assume I don't need any assuring because I'm normal so I fit in just fine, but maybe I didn't want to be normal."

"You wanted magic too, didn't you?" Thea asked quietly.

Petunia fell silent for a moment, staring down at the prancing unicorn on her plate, an imaginary wind blowing its mane majestically, "…I tried so hard to do what Lily could do, but nothing ever happened. It didn't matter how hard I wished, how much I believed in it, a seed remained a seed…it never bloomed…and nothing ever floated or glowed around me. Lily was the main character in a fairytale story, and I was the plainer, older sister, someone to stay in the background while she had her adventure."

"But you can have your own adventure," Simone assured her, "You don't need magic to be a part of the magical world and all it has to offer. Just look at Squibs."

"Squibs?"

Simone nodded, "They're non magic people born into all magic families. They can't make things fly or blossoms or anything and this is still as much their world as it is ours."

"Tell that to some of our classmates," Thea grumbled moodily, "Or my parents."

Simone rolled her eyes, "Yes, some purebloods have a stick up their bums when it comes to who belongs and blood purity, but really it's all bunk. Truth is, purebloods aren't even pure. Last I checked, plenty of us wizards descended from the Fae."

"The Fae?" Petunia questioned, "You mean like fairies," she looked down at the image on her plate.

Simone waved her hand flippantly at the picture, "Not like those, the real, ancient kind. Like ethereal human-like beings. They're where we got this superiority complex from; they were always dividing into groups. Most magic folk come from them. The natural born witches and wizards of our time usually married Fae folk in order to ensure they wouldn't lose the rare gift they were mysteriously born with. Fae magic is strong enough to pass on generations after any Fae existed."

"Eventually the Fae withdrew from this plane of existence, but their legacy lives on," Thea picked up where Simone left off, "Almost all purebloods are descended from them. It's believed that even muggleborns carry Fae in their bloodline; why else would magic that is normally inherited appear in a non magical family?"

"So you're saying I could have fairies in my bloodline?" Petunia asked, amazed.

Thea nodded, "Quite possibly."

Simone hummed in agreement, "So really all these pureblood fanatics are kidding themselves. Not a single one of them can say for sure that their bloodline is one hundred percent wizard and not mixed with anything else."

"The boys who attacked Lily were like that," Petunia said, "Fanatics. I never realized Lily had to deal with that at school."

"It was never this bad before," Simone admitted, "Even I was caught off guard when I heard. But I shouldn't be surprised; hate is a monstrous thing and it shows itself in many evil ways. And don't call them boys; there's nothing boyish about what they did. They'll be tried as men and they best get the toughest punishment."

"Here, here," Thea agreed.

"They better be," Petunia growled.

"I take it by your tone that recent events have softened your bitterness towards your sister?" Simone inquired.

"Yeah…" Petunia conceded after a short pause, "I didn't realize there were people like that at her school. I always thought she was living out some grand dream I didn't get to be a part of."

"But you are a part of it," Simone pointed out, "You're a part of a secret most muggles aren't. You can see and experience things most of them can only dream of. Could that girl who was picking on you today come to a place like this, eat biscuit softer and light than a cloud?"

"You're right," Petunia said, a bit of wind returning to her sails as that thought dawned on her, "She couldn't."

"In fact…come with me," Simone said suddenly, delicately placing her napkin down on the table with payment for their food and drink.

"Where are we going?" Petunia asked.

Simone took Petunia by the arm and guided her through the café, "To see something you've probably seen in your dreams."

Simone, Thea, and Petunia wandered up to Hostess where Simone requested to see the owner. The Hostess nodded and scurried away hurriedly.

The owner, a stout man in a much too tight set of dress robes, waddled over to them, eager to please.

"Is there something you need, Miss Serapeum?" He asked anxiously.

"The food was excellent as always, Munssen," Simone praised kindly.

"Oh Miss, you do flatter me," Munssen gushed with a bow.

"Now this is something I wanted to ask you," Simone continued.

Munssen nodded, his oily mustache flapping, "Anything, my dear."

Simone leaned forward and whispered something in the man's ear.

Munssen's eyes widened. Pulling back, he looked at Petunia then back at Simone before his face split into a smile, "Why yes of course. Right this way!"

Munssen headed towards the back of the café and Simone beckoned Petunia and Thea to follow.

"I rarely get to show muggles," Munssen said over his shoulder as they walked through the kitchen, "It's always a treat to see their faces light up. Like a child in a candy store!"

"Or Headmaster Dumbledore in one," Quipped Simone.

Munssen laughed, "Quite right, quite right. Here we are," he led them to a door at the back of the kitchen, pulling it open for them, "Right this way, ladies."

Stepping out the door, Petunia found herself outside in a small paddock fenced in by sanded wooden posts. The grass was green and dewy and the sky was a lovely blue. In the distance, she could see a pond twinkling in the sunlight.

"The door's enchanted," Simone explained, "If you walk around the back of the building, this paddock won't be there. You have to walk through that door to end up here."

"But why are we here," Petunia queried.

Simone smiled, looking ahead of them, "See for yourself."

Petunia followed Simone's gaze and felt all the air leave her lungs, her eyes growing as wide as saucers.

A beautiful white unicorn was walking out from the stable. Mane cascading done her neck and back like a silver waterfall, her coat shined white as snow and almost luminescent. Her horn was a masterpiece of spiraled bone, ending in a fine point and sparkled as the light bounced off it in the sun.

"Petunia, meet Radiance," Thea introduced.

"Is this adventurous enough for you?" Simone asked with a smirk, her arms crossed over her chest as she stood proudly.

Simply dumbfounded, Petunia could only nod mouth agape, lost for words.

Cautiously she took a step forward, and then another.

A twig snapped under her foot and the unicorn looked up, making Petunia gasp.

"Easy," Simone soothed, holding Petunia's shoulders to keep her steady, "Easy now. Just watch."

Radiance stared at them, a chewing disinterestedly on some grass. Her lavender eyes landed on Petunia and she paused.

"Keep still," Simone coached.

Radiance stared at Petunia for a bit, her head cocked to the side. Slowly, the magnificent creature began to move, carefully and gracefully moving across the grass as if she were floating.

Petunia could only stand there stunned as Radiance came to a stop mere inches from her, staring deeply into the gob smacked girl's eyes.

Radiance huffed out a puff of air and lowered her head.

"You can pet her," Simone whispered excitedly.

With some encouragement, Petunia reached out a trembling hand. Holding it above Radiance's head, she hovered there for a moment before a nudged from Simone prompted her to place it on the creature's muzzle.

Petunia let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Wow," she breathed, her fingers sifting through the soft fur beneath her skin.

"You know how it is said that Unicorns would only appear to pure, young maidens? Well in reality, they usually only approach muggle girls," Simone stated in a whisper.

"Why's that?" Petunia asked in a daze.

Simone squeezed Petunia's shoulders in a friendly gesture. "Unicorns are proud beings; they bask in the glory that is themselves and wish others to do the same. For centuries, unicorns have been commonplace for Wizards; rare, but well known. Respected, but expected. Muggles, however…Unicorns take your very breath away…"

Petunia stroked Radiance's head, mystified and entranced as the gentle giant nuzzled her palm.

"Welcome to the wizarding world, Pet," Simone said quietly, "We're going to have lots more adventures."

Petunia turned to her, her hand not ceasing it's movements, "We are?"

"I like you, Pet," Simone stated with a smile, "You've got class, you're proper…and under all that is a feisty little attitude. I like it."

"Congratulations, Petunia," Thea said warmly, "You've got magical friends."

Petunia stared at them in shock. Slowly her face pulled into a soft smile, "I do, don't I?"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter as you can probably tell.
> 
> Petunia as a teen was a complex character in my opinion. She's overshadowed by her magical sister with parents who don't realize they are essentially making her feel less than average by trivializing muggle things in order to make their magical daughter feel special instead of different.
> 
> So I hope you loved this chapter.
> 
> Read and review! :)


	13. The Summons and the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus receives some important information and a bad situation comes to a head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack!
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely reviews. They were heartwarming, encouraging, and some of them asked or brought up interesting thoughts and questions about Petunia, Severus and my OCs. Never fear, many things will be explained in time, I assure you, and I thank you for the constructive advice :)
> 
> It was pointed out by one of you that while Petunia can see the world of magic, she will never truly be a part of it because she isn't a witch. I want to thank you for sharing your opinion and assure you that that is not entirely true. Almost all of the magical world is something Petunia can experience AND participate in. Keep in mind, wand work is only a small piece of the magical world. All the creatures, the enchanted items, the environments, that requires no wand. Hell, there are even some potions that do not require a wand at all. Petunia, with an enchantment or two placed on her can do just about everything a witch can do, aside from casting spells. This CAN be her world as much as it is Lily's. She may not be able to go to Hogwarts, but she can still have the wizarding experience.
> 
> Now on with the show!
> 
> Warnings for violence in this chapter.

* * *

 

' _Over…under…pull it through…'_  Lily carefully wove the stems of the wildflowers together, paying particular attention to the process so as not to strangle the flowers or break off any parts. Once she had succeeded in adding two more stems to her link of flowers, she selected two more from the meticulously chosen pile besides her, this time a set of lavender and white hues to compliment the violet and robin's egg blues of the previous pair.

Smiling, she cast a glance at her silent companion, glancing from her crown in progress to him.

As if sensing her gaze, Severus cracked one eye open and peered at Lily, not bothering to get up from where he was reclining back in the grass.

"If that crown is for me, you're going to be sorely disappointed to find I won't be wearing it," he said lazily.

Lily giggled, tying off two new additions to her chain, "You'll find I can be very persuasive."

"Oh, of that I have no doubt," Severus agreed, "But you see, one must never underestimate my ability to be stubborn. I won't wear it."

"Even if I ask nicely," Lily asked, batting her eyes at him.

Severus closed his eyes, refusing to budge, "Even then."

"What about a puppy-dog pout?" Lily asked.

Severus opened his eyes slightly to find Lily giving him her best doe eyes, her lip stuck out and trembling ever so slightly.

"Impressive," he praised, "quite the convincing act. But not convincing enough, I'm afraid."

"Drat."

"Why don't you wear it?" Severus switched tactics, "It would looked fine on you."

Lily frowned, staring at the completed flower crown in her hands, "The colors don't really work with red hair," she admitted, "It would clash terribly."

"Nonsense," Severus replied, sitting up to pluck the crown from his friend's hands. Settling it gently atop Lily's head, he smiled at his handy work, "There, you look lovely."

Blushing, Lily reached up to touch the crown, her fingers lightly brushing the petals thoughtfully.

"Fine," she said, "I'll wear it."

Severus's smiled turned into a full blown smirk, pleased things had gone his way.

Lily adjusted the crown, humming to herself while Severus fiddled with blades of grass. It was a beautiful summer day, one not often seen in rainy London, and the pair had decided to enjoy it out in the deserted sports field by the remains of the old elementary school. Ever since the building had closed in favor of opening a better one a neighborhood over, the field besides it once used for kickball had gone abandoned and become overgrown. It was the place for the two friends to relax.

"So what's with you today, anyway?" Lily asked eventually, "You're not very talkative most days, but today it feels like your miles away. What's on your mind?"

Severus sighed; it was obvious he expected this conversation to come up eventually.

"Trouble at home?" Lily went to hazard a guess.

"No," Severus replied, shaking his head, "Nothing like that."

Lily kept quiet, but she knew even if home life wasn't what was on his mind currently, Severus's home still was a problem. He had managed to stick to his plan so far of staying under the radar and it allowed him to scrape by with little altercations, but occasionally Severus still crossed paths with his father and Lily would find him bearing bruise or nursing a split lip.

At the very least, Severus no longer hid the injuries from Lily, but he was still dismissive of them. "My dad got a hit in," he'd say nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

However, even his words were becoming suspect. Lily didn't want to call Severus a liar, but sometimes, the injuries just didn't add up. From what she'd heard from the healers at St. Mungos, Severus dad—well they didn't say his dad but they had their suspicions—had the power to do some significant damage; twist a wrist, break some bones. But sometimes, Severus bore bruises that were small, less deep in hue, like the blow had been weak. One time, Lily even swore she spied fingernail marks on his arm, and it was doubtful someone as slovenly as Tobias Snape would grow out his nails so effeminately.

"Ooookay," Lily said slowly, "If it isn't your home that's the trouble, what's got you so preoccupied?"

Severus stared as Lily, a silent debate playing out across his face. Finally, he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, "This came for me by owl today."

Lily took the offered note, "By owl? I thought you had told the hospital your family didn't accept mail that way,"  _'Because your father is a magic-hating bigot,'_  was understood.

"It isn't from St. Mungos," Severus said, pointing to the broken wax seal on the outside of the envelope.

Lily peered at the seal, a gasp escaping her, "It's from the Wizengamot!"

Severus nodded, "Good thing I was outside weeding the garden when it came. I doubt my father would appreciate an owl disturbing his post binge drinking nap."

"What does it say?" Lily asked, not even waiting for a response as she opened the envelope to read its contents.

"It's a summons for questioning," Severus explained as Lily's eyes frantically scanned the parchment, "After questioning Avery, it has come to their knowledge that the spell he used was one of my own invention."

Lily looked up from the letter, worry evident on her face, "Are they going to arrest you too?"

Severus shook his head, "They can't arrest me for being the victim of my own spell. However, I did make a defensive 'dueling' spell without the proper permits and underage to boot. There could be a fine for it."

Lily frowned, "Dueling spell?"

Severus snorted, "I'm as surprised as you are. Given the nature of the spell and the fact that I'm sure Avery has told them all about what a wonderful recruit for You-Know-Who I am in order to save his own skin, I would have thought they would charge me with making Dark Magic."

"Well it all depends on how the spell is used," Lily offered, recalling Simone's words, "Technically, your spell could be used for cutting various things, not just people. It's all a matter of intent. It could have a common use in more innocent daily routines, right?"

Severus stared at Lily, bemused and defeated, "You mean like for cutting wood or shredding papers? Lily, I appreciate your support, but there is no arguing the potential for harm that spell has. We even witness the dangers of it on the train. I invented it as the ultimate defense against others."

"Well then you invented it for protection," Lily challeneged, "Look, I'm not going to say I approve of the spell or like that you made it, but it isn't like you woke up one day and said 'I think I'll make a deadly spell today.' That's something those two housemates of yours would do, but not you. You made it to defend yourself, not use for malicious fun."

"But even my defense was malicious," Severus argued, shamefaced, "Lily, do you honestly think it would have mattered to me if Potter had simply hexed me with a stinging hex? I would have still fought back with all I've got."

Lily bit her lip. He did have a point there, "That doesn't make you a bad person. Just misguided."

Severus stared at Lily for a moment. After a second, he chuckled, shaking his head, "How did the roles get reversed? It used to be you telling me I was in the wrong and me defending myself."

Lily flushed, uncomfortable, "I was missing some facts before. I judged you too quickly. Severus, even if that spell can be dangerous, that doesn't make it evil. There's some potential in it for good. Think of what the Aurors could do with that spell for defense against the Death Eaters."

Severus cocked a brow, "You're abdicating for that being used on the Death Eaters? I thought you would be against violence."

Lily's face darkened, her thoughts a jumble of images from that day on the train, "I've realized that you can't talk sense into everyone. Some people can't change, Sev. Anyway, it isn't like I want them dead. The Aurors could heal them afterwards with the countercurse if you teach it to them."

"You're acting like they're summoning me for a demonstration," Severus mused in good humor, "I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be a teaching experience."

"No, but surely someone is impressed with you," Lily pushed, "You invented a powerful spell all on your own. At fifteen!"

Severus preened under the praise; it was clear by the kneazle-got-the-canary smirk he wore. "I won't deny it was hard work, but I doubt that it going to matter much to the Wizengamot. As it is, I'm curious who had the pull to keep this from being a charge against the creation of Dark Magic."

Lily tilted her head speculatively, "You think someone pulled some strings for you?"

Severus nodded, "Without a doubt. I'm just a nobody from Slytherin; under normal circumstances, the ministry would be chomping at the bit to throw me in Azkaban alongside Mulciber and Avery, just to ensure they were narrowing down the potential recruits for You-Know-Who's side. They're getting more paranoid and knowing whatever Avery's admitted about himself under veritaserum, they know he's recruiting from the schools now."

Lily pondered the situation, tapping a finger to her lips, "So who would help downplay your spell to keep you out of trouble?"

Severus shrugged, "Whoever it is, I just hope they aren't doing it for some ulterior motive."

And afternoon breeze swept across the field, ruffling their hair and sending several flowers from Lily's crown skyward.

 

{Page Break}

 

Lily let out a groan of relief as she slipped her shoes off when she got home. Placing them by the front door, she headed to the kitchen for a drink so that she could curl up with it and a good book in the living room window seat and rest her sore feet. Those slip ons she bought were pretty, but they weren't the best for arch support.

The air smelled sweet and tasty; Lily's mom must have been baking cookies.

"Mom," she called, "I'm home."

It wasn't her mother Lily found in the kitchen, though, but a much more peculiar scene.

The kitchen was almost as immaculate as when Lily left that morning, except that the corner by the mixer looked like it had been hit by a sudden snow storm of flour. Various measuring cups and bowls sat spread out in the space dripping in batter. A few cookie cutters and a rolling pin lay on some rumpled wax paper and the empty bottle of vanilla extract was on its side, leaking the precious few drops that remained onto the counter.

Besides the mess, just beginning to tidying things up was Petunia and two unexpected guests.

"Hi, Lily," Thea greeted happily, gathering up some of the measuring cups.

"Hey," Simone said, without looking up from her place in front of the oven, staring into the window on the front in fascination.

"Lily," Petunia greeted merrily, wiping her hands off on her apron, "You're just in time, the cookies are almost done."

Lily stood there flummoxed, barely comprehending the scene in front of her, "What….what's going on?"

Petunia wet a cloth to wipe down the counter with, "What? Oh, you mean this. You've been so busy lately that I forgot to mention. These are my new friends." She gestured happily to Simone and Thea, "I believe you know them from school?"

"Yes, we've talked a few times," Lily answered, still stunned.

"I met them a few days ago," Petunia explained, far more chipper than Lily had ever seen her, "And we've been spending time together ever since."

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" Lily asked.

Petunia laughed, but not one of her fake, prim and proper laugh, but a real one, "Oh, Lily. Stop being ridiculous."

Watching her sister warily, Lily reached for a glass and grabbed an apple.

"Lily, wash that fruit before you eat it," Petunia scolded lightly.

 _'There's the sister I remember,'_ Lily thought.

Simone leaned forward in front of the stove, her face almost touching the glass.

"It's remarkable," she said, a dusting of flour covering her head and shoulders, "it was just goo minutes ago and now it's a cookie. It's like watching a mountain form or something."

"They love baking," Petunia whispered giddily, "Can you believe they've never done it before?"

Unsure what to say, Lily just shook her head.

"You should have seen how they reacted to the tv," Petunia giggled, "I'm pretty sure they love Doctor Who now."

"Sim, come help clean up," Thea chided, turning to giving her friend a stern look.

Simone waved her off, transfixed by the oven, "Hang on; the cookies have two more minutes left on them."

Frowning, Thea flicked a piece of dried batter at her.

"Petunia," Simone whined dramatically, "Thea's making a mess!"

"Really mature, Sim," Thea said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

Petunia laughed, her whole face lighting up like it never had before, "Simone the cookies bake faster if you don't look at them."

Simone turned to Petunia, her eyes wide.

"They do?" she asked in amazement.

Petunia nodded, "It's a proven fact."

Simone got up off the floor and took the rag Thea offered her. Chancing one last glance at the oven, she went about drying off the dishes Thea had washed.

"So Evans," Simone began casually, "How's Severus?"

Lily blinked, "He's fine. Sort of, at least. He's been summoned for questioning on the spell her created."

Simone paused turning slightly to look over her shoulder at Lily, "Summoned? He's in trouble?"

"We're not sure," Lily admitted, "Apparently the issue is that he developed a spell of his own without permission and while underage."

"Doesn't sound like an arrest," Simone mused, "Would you like me to send my father with him on the day he goes?"

"You would do that?" Lily asked.

Simone shrugged, "Of course. He is my classmate, and he nearly died doing something quite noble. It was be like spitting in his face if they brought him up on charges after all he's been through."

"Besides, he's our friend," Thea added.

"That to, I suppose," Simone conceded, stacking the now dry bowls on the counter, "My father does have some influence that could prove useful for Snape. If anything, having a wealthy pureblood without any ties to blood purity ideals represent a Slytherin could give them a better impression of Snape, show he's capable of making connections with more wholesome people."

"Thank you, Simone," Lily said, quite touched, "That would be great."

Simone gave a curt nod of her head, "Just tell Pet when the date of his summons is and she tell me so I can relay it to my father."

"Pet?" Lily asked.

"That's her nickname for me," Petunia smiled.

At that moment, the timer on the oven dinged.

"Cookies are done," Petunia exclaimed.

"They  _did_  cook faster!" Simone said, astonished.

Thea just shook her head.

"They say a watched pot never boils," she said quietly, a soft, fond smile on her face.

 

{page break}

 

"So Simone said to just relay her the date and time and her father will accompany you," Lily explained on the phone that evening, "This way you have someone respected to vouch for you. Isn't that great, Sev?"

Severus cradled the phone to his ear, still none too fond of the muggle contraption, "Well it certainly would help my case. So...Petunia is friends with witches now?"

"I know!" Lily exclaimed, "Isn't it weird? I never thought I'd see the day."

"Still, if there was any witch who could win over Petunia, it would be Simone," Severus mused, "She has that level of propriety and poise Petunia always tries to exude. They must be very similar personality-wise."

"Ugh, do not say Petunia and Simone are alike," Lily groaned, "I may have just gotten my sister back, the last thing I need is to find Simone's mannerisms in everything she does."

"I take it Simone will never be your favorite person?" Severus inquired.

"I'd sooner befriend a Cornish Pixie; they're less infuriating," Lily replied, "So how are things with you?"

Severus sighed, glancing down the hall before answering, "Okay, I guess. Tobias is sleeping and Mum is doing whatever it is she does when he's not up and about to bother her. I try not to concern myself too much at this point."

"Did you manage to get your chores done?" Lily asked. By the displeasure in her voice it was evident how she felt about Severus having to do so much work just to avoid being screamed at.

"Yes, thankfully, but who knows if it will be good enough for him," Severus answered, "for someone so used to being filthy, he loves to make me clean."

"He just wants to push you around," Lily stated, clearly upset.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Severus drawled.

"Don't be a pip," Lily scolded, but even through the phone, Severus could tell she was fighting a smile.

"Me?" he asked in false shock, "Why, whatever do you mean?"

Lily giggled.

The sound of voices came down the hallway, faint but angry. Severus sighed.

"What's wrong," Lily asked.

"Guess who's up?" Severus groused.

"Are they fighting?" Lily asked, concerned.

"When aren't they?" was Severus dry response.

"What are you going to do?" Lily fretted.

"Things should be fine," Severus assured her, "He never has much energy at this time of night to really get into it with her. The most he'll do is yell a bit and go back to bed. As long as I stay out of his way he'll leave me alone."

"It's terrible that you have to put up with this so often," Lily lamented, "That's hardly a decent way to live."

"Better than being homeless, right?" Severus joked half heartedly.

"Sometimes I wonder," Lily grumbled.

"Lily..."

"No, Sev, it isn't right that you live in such conditions!" Lily persisted, "Limited food, no showers, a house falling down around you and on top of all that you've got a tyrant for a father." She paused, catching herself, "I'm sorry, that was rude of me...he's your dad."

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true," Severus muttered.

The sound of shattering glass caught Severus off guard, making him freeze.

"Severus," Lily called, "Sev, what was that?"

"Where is he?!" Tobias roared from down the hall, "Where is that little bastard?"

"Shit," Severus cursed.

"Sev, what's happening?" Lily asked, alarmed.

"He's coming for me," Severus whispered, trying to keep his father from hearing him. He could hear Tobias stomping up the stairs clumsily, doors being slammed as he searched the bedrooms.

"Sev, call the police," Lily implored.

"What good would that do?" Severus snapped.

"Severus please!" Lily begged.

"Lily, I'm fine—"

"There yew are!"

Tobias fisted the back of Severus's shirt, pulling up sharply and nearly choking him.

 _'How did he sneak up on me?'_  Severus wondered,  _'he must have snuck down the back stairwell.'_

"Sev?" Lily cried, worry clear in her voice, "Sev are you okay?"

"Yew little shit, hiding from me," Tobias sneered. He slammed Severus into the wall, causing him to drop the phone.

"Sev?!" came the frantic cry from the phone.

Tobias jerked Severus back by his shirt, twisting Severus around to face him.

"Yew thought yew could hide from me, yew little bastard," he said angrily, "But I found yew, didn't I?"

"Tobias leave him alone," Eileen yelled, coming down the hall, a bruise on her cheek.

"Shut up, woman!" Tobias shouted, "This will teach yew to talk back to me."

It made sense to Severus then. This had nothing to do with him at all, Tobias just wanted to punish Eileen where it hurt; her son.

Tobias slapped Severus across the face, "Look at me! Yew think yew're so special, with yewr wand and yewr magic? Well I've got news for yew; yew ain't nothing!" He struck Severus again.

"Tobias, please!" Eileen cried.

"Stay where yew are, or I'll realy give it to him, woman," Tobias threatened.

"C-coward," Severus managed to get out, straining against the strangling hold Tobias still had on his shirt.

"What was that?" Tobias asked dangerously.

"Coward," Severus tried again, "Picking on your wife and child. Think it makes you a big man?"

"Yew bastard!" Tobias snarled. He slammed Severus against the wall again, then again.

Pain blossomed across the back of Severus's skull and his vision swam.

"Stop it!" Eileen begged, throwing herself at her husband.

"I said stay out of this!" Tobias yelled, dropping Severus like a bag of dead cats.

Seeing his chance, Severus took off down the hall, heading for the living room.

"Oh no yew don't," Tobias shouted, "Get back here!" He shoved Eileen away and took off after his son.

Severus sprinted for the stairs, his father hot on his heels.

 _'I've got to get to my room,'_ Severus thought frantically as he started up the stairs,  _'I need my wand.'_

Severus was almost to the landing when a rough hand closed around his ankle and tugged. Hard.

Flailing for a grip that wasn't there, Severus tumbled down the stairs past his father to the sound of his mother's horrified screams.

Severus toppled head over heels, landing painfully on his ribs as he hit the bottom landing.

"Are you  _mental_?" Eileen shrieked.

"I thought I told yew to shut up," Tobias growled, taking a picture frame off the wall and hurling it at his wife.

Eileen wasn't fast enough to dodge in time and yelped as it struck her in the shoulder.

Tobias stomped down the stairs and kicked Severus onto his back, "What do yew have to say for yewrself?"

Severus coughed, spitting out a mouthful of blood from biting his tongue during the fall, "You're a coward," he sneered through a face full of blood and spit, the slaps from earlier already blooming into bruises across his face, "You pick on your family because you know you're stronger than us. But what does that make you if the only people you fight are weaker than you? You tell me that I'm nothing, but what are you? A worthless drunk with no life who beats his wife and child. Pathetic."

Tobias face twisted in rage, his skin turning an ugly mottled red.

"Yew bastard!" he roared, dragging Severus to his feet and pining him against the wall. His hands closed around Severus throat, "How dare yew talk that way to me. I'm yewr father!"

To Severus horror, his father began to squeeze.

"I brought yew into this world, and I can damn well take yew out of it!" Tobias said menacingly, his grip getting tighter.

Severus clawed at his father's hands to no avail. He kicked his feet and struggled uselessly, but his father did not relent.

"Tobias, stop it!" Eileen beat on her husband's back feebly, "You'll kill him!"

Severus could feel his head going fuzzy as he was deprived on air, his vision going black as his struggling lessened.

He didn't hear the front door being slammed open. He didn't here the raised voices in the hall.

What he did recall, was a brown haired blur slamming into his father and landing a blow to the side of his head.

Severus gasped for air as he was released, massaging his neck. Trying to gather his sense, he looked up at his rescuer.

Hank Evans stood over Tobias, his portly yet hulking frame seeming to tower over the man on the floor.

"Don't you ever," he jabbed a finger into Tobias chest, "Ever, touch that boy again, or you'll be taking all your meals through a straw. And that's if you're lucky."

"Are you alright, sweetie," Willow Evans asked Severus, kneeling down to him.

Severus nodded, too stunned to respond, the room still spinning from before.

"We're leaving, Severus," Mr. Evans said with finality, "Willow, help him to the car."

"Now just see here," Tobias began, struggling to his feet, "Who do yew think yew are to take my boy anywhere."

Hank whirled around on Tobias, piercing him with a deathly look, "Do not test me. I fought in the war. Do you think I can't lay a lousy drunk out flat?"

"Come on, dear," Willow helped a dazed Severus to up, guiding him to the door.

"You should come with us," Hank offered to Eileen.

Eileen wrung her hands fretfully. Glancing at her husband, she shook her head.

Hank frowned. "The police will be coming here," he said on his way out the door.

In a fog, Severus allowed himself to be led to the Evan's car. Head throbbing and vision going black around the edges, he let Willow put him in the back seat and guide his head onto her lap while her husband got behind the wheel in the front seat.

"Everything's going to be okay," Willow cooed, stroking his hair gently, "We're taking you away from that place."

Hank started the car and without a backwards glance, he drove off.

"I don't care what the added expenses are, Hank," Willow declared, "He's staying with us. I will not send him back to that house."

"I could probably ask the University if there is anyone I can tutor for extra money," Hank pondered.

"I could start working again," Willow suggested, "I'll teach piano."

"At least we have our evidence now," Hank stated, "We'd better contact Mr. Wrence."

"You're alright, Severus," Willow said softly, petting his hair as the boy began to drift off, "You're home now."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should have put on a warning for Tobias's manner of speak as well. I'm sure some of you got a headache reading how he talks.
> 
> So when I was writing this chapter, it was very important to me from the start that Lily's parents get involved directly with the abuse. As the first muggle people Severus ever met to show him true kindness and acceptance (at least in my works), they represent Severus's chance to overcome his distrust and bitterness towards muggles. They also represent redemption in the form of a model for proper parents whom he can learn better behavior from while experiencing the security and parental love he never got at home. It is my personal belief that had Severus had a proper upbringing or better influences, he may have overcome his traumatic childhood and become a less bitter, reckless, and angry person. Don't get me wrong, he would still be sarcastic and dour, you can't take the snark out of the Snape.
> 
> Sorry you guys had to suffer through Severus's suffering, but the catalyst needed to come eventually. Unfortunately, there was a time for abuse survivors when help only came once things reached their worst. Nowadays, a person can call and report abuse and potentially be removed from the place for their own safety while an investigation was conducted, but back then, a police tended not to act until the problem grew so big that it could not be ignored, usually circulating in the worst cases of domestic violence that not even neighbors could turn a blind eye to. Severus was not going to get help until things reached a climax of massive proportions.
> 
> Read and review, tell your friends :)


	14. Coinciding Convergence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus needs help and it comes from several places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again, folks (FYI, I'm running out of greetings to put at the openings of these author's notes. I may need to start recycling them)
> 
> So last chapter was pretty dramatic huh?
> 
> ...Seriously, I want to know. Was it dramatic for you? Did it stir up the feels?
> 
> Now we get to the aftermath and the beginning of Severus journey out of that hell hole of a home.

* * *

 

"I knew we should have never let them send him back there!" Willow cried, wringing her hands, "That place is no home for a child."

"Calm down, dear, the worst is over now," Hank placated, "We got him out of there and I'll be damn if he goes back."

Lily sat on the couch with Severus's head in her lap, her longtime childhood friend fighting to stay conscious through what would probably turn out to be a concussion. Holding an ice pack to his head, it was all Lily could do to not burst into tears at the sight of him.

The Evanses had been quite clear when Lily came downstairs crying about the distressing phone call she had with Sev; she was not to come with them when they left. Hank was concerned as to just what sort of state Tobias would be in and didn't trust the drunkard to not go after Lily or Willow.

Unfortunately, nothing he could say could shake Willow's resolve to come with him. Even as he argued and pleaded with her over Lily's protests of being left behind, Willow had already settled herself in the passenger seat of the car.

After seeing the scene he walked into, Hank was glad at least Lily had stayed home, grateful Petunia was away with friends for the evening. To see a grown man strangling a fifteen year old was horrifying enough, but knowing it was Mr. Snape's own flesh and blood was worst. Spying Eileen, bruised and battered trying in her weakened state to free her son was heartbreaking in and of itself.

Hank honestly didn't know how he got from the front door to the other side of the living room so fast. It was as if he blinked and there he was, throttling a man a foot taller than he was. An almost primal surge of protectiveness swept through him for the boy collapsed in a heap on the floor.

If he hadn't managed to collect his wits, Hank was sure he would be in the back of a police car himself tonight; he was just that outraged at what he saw. What sort of man does that to their own family?

By the time Hank and Willow assisted Severus into the house, Lily was besides herself with worry. The sight of Severus didn't help matters; bruised face, bloodied lips, an alarming set of hand prints around his throat.

"How can his mother stay with that man?" Willow asked.

"She must be afraid of him, Willow," Hank guessed, "Who knows how many years he's been beating them?"

"She hits Severus too," Lily admitted suddenly, causing her parents to turn to her in shock, "Not this bad…I think she loves Sev, he says she does anyway…but she's got a bad temper herself. I've seen some marks…" Lily trailed off, biting her lip.

Willow turned to Hank, a fire burning in her eyes, "He is never setting foot inside that house  _again_ ," she declared, "I don't care what we have to do, we'll make this work."

"Calm down, dear," Hank pleaded gently.

"No!" Willow cried, tears filling her eyes, "I said he should live there and I was right. I don't care if it's an extra mouth to feed. I-I'll cut coupons, I'll go bargain shopping. We…we can grow our own vegetables, a-and Martha down the street has chickens; we'll buy eggs cheaper from her. Whatever it takes, Hank, I'll do it."

Hank shushed his wife softly, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, "You'd be hard pressed to find me in disagreement, love," Hank assured her.

Willow smiled faintly, sniffling and dabbing her eyes.

Hank walked over to the living room window, looking down the road towards Spinners End.

"The police should be there by now," he mused, looking for the glow of blue and red lights.

"They better lock that beast up," Willow growled. Turning to the two teens on the couch, Willow walked over and smoothed a strand of hair back behind Severus's ear, "I'll get a compress for those bruises," she said. Cupping Lily's face in her hands, she kissed her daughter on the forehead, gazing at her with tenderness before leaving the room.

"Is Sev staying with us now, Dad?" Lily asked hopefully.

Hank nodded tiredly, "Yes, dear. I would sooner cut off a toe than let government services take him. We'll make room," he added, "We'll…we'll convert the study back into a bedroom, just like it was when we moved in. I can move my study to the work shed. There's room enough for books and tools in there."

Lily wiped her eyes, a watery smile on her face, "Thanks, daddy."

"Think nothing of it, flower."

Lily glanced back down at Severus, barely aware of his surroundings, "I wish the doctor would hurry up. How long does it take to answer a house call?"

Hank drew back from the window, a weary look on his face, "He might have had other calls, Lily. Be patient."

"But Severus needs him now!" Lily insisted.

The front door opening caused them both to jump.

Giggling filled the hall.

"That was a great concert," Petunia exclaimed, "I've never heard of that band before."

"Of course not, they're magic!" Simone cried, and the girls went into another fit of giggles.

"I should have known better than to drink something called 'giggle water'!" Petunia said, "You rotten girl, tricking me like that."

"Hey, Thea thought you would get a real kick out of it," Simone protested, as Thea's snorting snickers carried on.

The laughter came to an abrupt end as the trio rounded the doorway into the living room.

"What in Mab's green Earth happened?" Simone asked in shock.

Without waiting for a response, Simone rushed forward, leaving Petunia and Thea stunned with horror in the doorway.

Reaching the couch, Simone dropped to Lily's side, carefully touching Severus's face.

"That rotten blighter did this, didn't he?" she asked, positively furious.

Sniffling, Lily could only nod.

"Oh, Little Red," Simone said softly, giving Lily's shoulder a squeeze, "We'll fix this, don't worry. Minks!" she cried.

The was a loud pop and Minks stood before them, causing Willow to shriek in alarm as she came back into the room, dropping the compress she carried.

"That is still taking some getting used to," Petunia admitted, trying not to stare at the creature's bizarre features.

"What can Minks be doing for the Missus?" Minks asked eagerly.

Simone took Minks' hand in her own, "Minks, sweetie, please go fetch a healer right away, would you? It's very important."

Minks nodded, her oversized ears flapping, "Oh course, Minks would be happy to."

"Oh, and get an Auror or two, alright?" Simone added, "They need to deal with Severus's father."

Again, Minks nodded, "Right away," she cast a glance at Severus, "Poor Mister Severus," she said sadly before disappearing with a pop.

"W-what was that?" Willow asked shakily, half crouching on the floor. .

"A house elf, mother," Petunia explained, helping her mother up, "You'll get used to it. Eventually."

Thea came over to sit next to Lily, lifting Severus's legs to sit under them and rest them across her knees.

Petunia approached her sister, "Lily, you're shaking," she observed, placing a hand on her sister's forehead, "I-I'll get some tea."

Lily managed a weak smile, "That would be lovely."

A rare moment of understanding passed between the two girls, before Petunia turned and headed for the kitchen. In a rare glimpse into Severus's life, Petunia was seeing the horrors the boy had faced all his life; the secret terror he suffered for years while she was spewing hateful words at him and judging him unfairly.

"That doctor should be here any minute now," Hank said. It was a statement more to himself than anyone else, just a way of keeping himself calm."

"Try and keep Severus awake," Thea suggested, lightly tapping Snape's face as he blinked blearily at them.

"A common misconception," came a wise old voice from the doorway, "It's fine for someone concussed to sleep, but you must rouse them regularly."

Everyone turned with a start. Standing in the doorway in magenta robes with teal moons on them, was Albus Dumbledore, accompanied by McGonagall. Minks peered around their legs apologetically.

"Every two hours should be fine," Dumbledore added.

 

{page break}

 

As Willow and Hank carried their youngest daughter's beloved friend into their house, on the other side of the England an old man was sitting down for a late dinner at the Leaky Cauldron, his long white beard almost spilling onto his plate.

Accompanying this old man was a rather stern faced woman with her hair in a stiff bun and a frown creasing her mouth.

"Minerva, you do realize beef and potatoes taste much better when eaten while hot," Dumbledore reminded her, gesturing to McGonagall's untouched food.

"Albus, I hardly called you out here so that we could titter over dinner," McGonagall snapped.

"Considering the time of night, I didn't think we'd be having dinner at all, if I'm being honest," Dumbledore confessed, "Fortunately I missed dinner while stargazing and Tom makes a rather delectable meat pie." He scooped another forkful into his mouth with a smile.

"Albus, I called to discuss something very important with you," McGonagall stated.

"Oh? And what matter would that be?" Dumbledore asked.

McGonagall huffed, straightening up to her full, seated height, "The matter of Severus Snape."

Dumbledore put his fork down, the maddening twinkle in his eye magnifying, "Ah yes, young Severus. He has certainly surprised me. To think he would turn his back on his companions to defend a muggleborn; one he cares for deeply. It is quite an inspiring tale. I am pleased to see he wasn't too entrenched in his dark desires to be pulled out. Tell me, what news has the ministry brought you?"

McGonagall's frown deepen, "I have been outside the ministry every day and let me tell you, some of those people do not understand the meaning of confidential."

"And let us be glad of that," Dumbledore said merrily, "Otherwise they might not be so inclined to discuss the case of Avery and Severus in such proximity to an innocent-looking cat."

At the mention of her animagus form, McGonagall bristled, "Well, if they would only send us updates like they said they would, I wouldn't have to resort to skulking in the shadows." She leaned in closer, "They're very concerned about the spell that was used. They're saying Mr. Snape invented it."

"Are they now?" Dumbledore marveled, "My, what a skillful lad. It would seem he is quite gifted."

"This is serious," hissed Minerva, "Albus, they're talking about bringing him in for illegal spell creation."

"Rest assured, the charges are minor," Dumbledore assured, "After all, can they really hold it against a boy for experimenting to give himself an edge while dueling?"

"Dueling?! That spell nearly killed him! They could say it was dark—" McGonagall cut herself off, her eyes narrowing, "You did something, didn't you?"

Dumbledore smiled serenely, "Merely put in a good word for a boy who came to his friend's rescue. Should he really be persecuted for having his own spellwork exploited by a classmate? I was simply lending a little assistance, much like I did with his bill at St. Mungos."

"And you don't think that Avery's barrister will use that defense to excuse the boy's use of the spell?" McGonagall asked warily.

Dumbledore's expression sobered, "No. I'm afraid Avery's fleeing of the scene and what he was caught doing prior indicate too strongly a willingness to do harm. He was also complicit to Mr. Mulciber's use of an Unforgivable. His defense class also attest to a certain level of proficiency with a wand; aiming for the neck shows he intended the blow to be fatal."

"So he'll be found guilty?" McGonagall pushed.

Dumbledore nodded, "It is very unlikely he'll be able to avoid at least some time in Azkaban. It would seem Alastor oversaw his questioning. During the investigation it was somehow let slip that Avery and his companion have been in contact with someone the ministry has been most eager to incarcerate."

McGonagall's eyes grew wide, "You mean…"

"He's recruiting the students, Minerva," Dumbledore answered, "At younger and younger ages it would seem. He's asking mere children to be his soldiers."

"Those who want to join him don't have the minds of children, Albus; they have the minds of killers," McGonagall pointed out.

"Some do, like Mr. Avery, but some do not," Dumbledore said sagely, "Some are merely led to believe it is what they want without ever knowing the consequences. I should have acted sooner. Perhaps Miss Serapeum's words have some truth to them."

McGonagall groaned, having no patience for Dumbledore's cryptic musings, "I don't have time to debate this with you tonight. It wasn't the ministry I wished to discuss anyway. It's Mr. Snape's home."

"His home?" Dumbledore questioned, "What have you found there?"

"More than I would like," McGonagall admitted, "I have an acquaintance at St. Mungo's who may have…shared some concerns with me from her examinations of Mr. Snape."

"Oh? Minerva I do believe that is against St. Mungos' policies," Dumbledore stated with a smile.

McGonagall scowled, "As if you care about policies! Anyway, according to her results, Severus has received quite the unusually high amount of injuries over the years. This was long before he entered Hogwarts, so don't try and tell me this is a matter of boys rough housing," she added sending a glare the Headmaster's way, "Albus, she's saying he has had his bones brokenly—deliberately—as early as the age of four!"

Dumbledore's gaze turned serious, "Your friend is certain of this?"

"Positive, but Severus won't admit it. She said though…she said she heard Miss Evans mentioning to her parents that Severus's father  _hates_  magic. She—my friend—she thinks Severus father may be trying to… _beat_  the magic out of him."

Dumbledore's expression darkened, the twinkle absent, "And there's no possible way your friend could be mistaken about this?"

McGonagall frowned, "Well, it is possible, but with all the documented injuries…"

POP!

"Headmaster Dumbledore!"

A well-groomed house elf stood beside the table suddenly, her eyes wide with worry.

"Yes, little one?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

"You needs to be coming with me to the Evanses house right away," Minks insisted, "Mister Severus is in a right bad state and is needing help." Minks wrung her hands, "Minks was sent to fetch a healer for him and Aurors to deal with his bad, nasty father, but Minks thought Headmaster should know. Dumbledore strongest wizard Minks knows! Minks shouldn't have disobeyed Missus Simone though," she gave herself a slap on the wrist, "Bad, Minks!"

Dumbledore stood up, placing a napkin over his plate, "It would seem we are needed elsewhere, Minerva," he stated, pulling out his wand, with an elaborate swish, a silvery phoenix burst from the tip.

"Send word to St. Mungos that we'll need a healer immediately. And an Auror," he told the patronus, "Make sure to lead them to us."

The glowing apparition flew away.

"Tom, put this on my tab," Dumbledore called, indicating his and Minerva's meals. Wasting not a moment more, the two professors and house elf apparated away.

 

{page break}

 

"-And so we came right away," Dumbledore finished.

Petunia came in with several more cups of tea on a tea tray, regarding the fabled Headmaster of Hogwarts warily.

"Thank you my dear," Dumbledore said graciously, accepting a cup.

"You're welcome," Petunia said respectfully. Offering a cup to McGonagall and Minks, who declined—"it is I who's to be serving you, Miss Petunia"—Petunia sat down in one of the armchairs McGonagall had transfigured from the piano bench, a lamp, and an ottoman.

Hank took another peek out the window, "If you are looking for the doctor, you'll not find him, Mr. Evans," Dumbledore told the muggle, "I dare say he was on his way here when he remembered a prior arrangement he had this evening. Most peculiar."

"You confounded him," Simone guessed, sharing a seat with Thea.

Dumbledore nodded, "I felt this matter would be better handled by a healer. I also sent the police on their way; the Aurors should be converging on Mr. Snape's home at this very moment."

"Why can't the police handle it?" Willow asked curiously.

"Because Snape's a wizard," McGonagall answered for everyone, "If muggle child services and authorities get involved in this, they will be wondering just where it is the ward under their care goes every year for schooling, and we can't exactly tell them that."

Dumbledore hummed in agreement, "Quite right."

"I trust then that a healer is on there way to hep us like I wanted?" Simone asked.

Dumlbedore nodded, "That's right. I'm pleased to see you are still so close to Mr. Snape," he peered over the top of his glasses at her, his eyes twinkling, "It would seem Thea's abilities have you showing up just when you are needed."

Thea blushed and looked away.

Simone shrugged half heartedly, "I've been observing him since his third year. I was waiting for someone to intervene or his situation to improve; it's just a shame it came to late, both here and at school."

Dumbledore had the decency to looked a tad ashamed, "Alas, I have let many things slip pass my notice in recent years. I dare say, Severus is lucky you are watching over him."

Simone shrugged nonchalantly, looking away embarrassed.

Dumbledore turned back to the Evanes, "Now, as for the matter at hand, Severus is a magical child being mistreated for having magic. As I would want any muggleborn witch or wizard to have the full support of the Ministry in attacks against them for their muggle ancestry, I too would wish to see Severus get the justice he deserves for any slights against his magical heritage. It's only fair that the Ministry deal with the proceedings regarding his father and any punishment."

"But you can't send a muggle to Azkaban," Petunia interjected, "Can you?"

Dumbledore shook his head, "No, but the Ministry can…persuade the muggle courts to place him in prison…they just may not remember why he's in there," he smiled merrily.

Lily blinked, "That's…"

"Morally ambiguous?" Simone suggested, "Ethically unsound? Contemptibly questionable? I'd be bothered if I actually cared what happens to Snape's father, but the jerk can rot for what he's done."

Dumbledore smiled pleasantly, "I might have worded it the wrong way. The police will know they jailed a man for attacking his wife, they just won't recall that he had a magical son being abused as well. That way, they will never look into the son's well being over the year and find he isn't attending a muggle school."

Simone frowned, "I suppose that a little less unethical. Slightly. However, I'm surprised that you are getting personally involved in this at all. You rarely take an interest in someone from Slytherin."

McGonagall took that opportunity to speak, "We've made some regrettable mistakes in the past, Miss Serapeum, and we're not proud of it. Certain students clearly have needed more care and attention than we realized and it is evident that had we done so, we'd have noticed Mr. Snape's dire situation much sooner."

"Yes," Dumbledore said with a sad smile, "It cannot be denied that our quick judgments and poor decisions led to Severus' own bad choices in the past. Had I been more attentive, perhaps many things could have been prevented. I'm only glad that he had such good friends to show him the way when I did not," he nodded at Lily.

Lily looked down, unused to having the Headmaster scrutinizing her.

"It brings to questions how many others could have and can still be led away from You-Know-Who's ranks," Dumbledore added, "There was more hope for Severus than many of us gave him credit for; there might still be some hope for others."

"So we're in agreement that school rivalry is stupid and divides us," Simone stated more than asked.

Dumbledore chuckled, "I suppose that is one way of looking at it. I would hate to eliminate the House Cup altogether, but it is clear changes need to be made."

Simone snorted, "Start with reevaluating who you make a prefect."

"Wait," Lily interrupted, "Let's try and stay focused, we're talking about Sev right now."

Willow nodded in agreement, "Yes, what about him? He can't go home."

Dumbledore thought about it for a minute, "Would it be safe to assume you have opened your house to young Mr. Snape?"

Willow nodded again, "I won't let him become a ward of the government, magical or otherwise. He needs a real home."

McGonagall tapped her chin in thought, "You'll need to be approved by the Ministry, but provided his mother offers no real complaint, it should be acceptable."

Willow's eyes burned with determination, "You leave his mother to me. I'll talk to her."

Dumbledore seemed quite pleased with the events unfolding around him, "I think it would do Severus well to have such a caring family looking out for him."

A thought occurred to Lily, "Wait, what about Sev's mum? She no longer has connections in the Wizarding world. She lives off of her husband's paycheck; what will she do without him?"

Dumbledore considered it, "There may be something I can do about her late parent's vault in Gringotts. In the meantime, there is no reason funds could not be provided for her from an...anonymous source until she gets back on her feet."

There came a knock at the door at that moment, prompting Hank to go answer it. After a few seconds of hushed conversation in the entryway, Hank reappeared with Healer Parish and Mr. Wrence.

"I came as soon as I heard," Parish told them, "Where is he?" Spying Severus asleep in Lily's lap, she hurried over, wand out and ready to run diagnostics.

"Don't do anything until I have documented it, Parish," Wrence warned, pulling out a camera, "We need evidence."

"I can at least check to see what's damaged," Parish snapped, already waving her wand across Severus's still form.

Wrence raised his nose at Parish's attitude, "Just stay out of the camera's shot." Gesturing for Parish to lift Severus into a sitting position, they very carefully turned the boy this way and that as the camera hovered around them, snapping pictures in rapid succession.

Wrence tutted under his breath as he made note of each injury in his notebook as Parish listed them off.

Looking to Hank and Willow, Wrence asked, "Did either of your witness any of the assault?"

"Yes, his father was strangling him," Hank answered gravely.

"Where did this occur?" Wrence prodded, "Their house?"

Hank nodded, "Yes, in the living room. Right by the stairs."

"The stairs…" Wrence muttered, making another note, "That could explain the fractured collarbone…"

Lily warred with herself quietly before finally speaking up, "He's got nail marks on him from a week ago. I think his mom did it."

Wrence raised an eyebrow, "So  _both_  parents could possibly be unfit," he made note of that.

"We'll need to regrow the missing tooth," Parish observed, examining Severus's mouth, "Are you done so that I may treat my patient?"

Wrence sniffed, pocketing his notebook, "Quite. As it is, I mustn't linger. The sooner this is filed, the sooner we can remove Severus from his parent's and find a suitable home."

"You'll find there is already a lovely family ready to take him in," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the Evanses.

Wrence observed the family carefully, "Really? Well, you were the ones overseeing his care in place of his parents at St. Mungos; safe to say you made great strides to ensure his wellbeing. I'll need to run this by my superiors, mind you. There's protocol. We have to have a hearing."

"But in the meantime..." Willow prompted.

"In the meantime I see no reason he couldn't stay here," Wrence stated, "Provided he does not need to be taken back to St. Mungos. Parish?"

"Nothing broken, he just needs some potions, salves, and plenty of rest," Parish replied.

Wrence nodded. Turning to Hank and Willow he offered his hand, "Thank you for contacting me," he said stiffly, "I doubt I need to tell you this, but you did the right thing. It is imperative that he be removed from that house."

"You're welcome," Hank said awkwardly at the same time Willow gave an unsure, "Thank you."

"Well I best be off. This must be filed right away," Wrence said, heading for the door, "Mr. Evans, if you could come with me, I'd like to get a full report."

"I would have thought your shift ended hours ago at the Ministry," Parish questioned.

Wrence drew himself to his full height. Looking down his nose at Parish he said in a lofty voice, "Some of us take our jobs seriously enough that we are  _always_  on the clock." Turning his nose up at her, he stormed out, Hank following behind him.

Parish watched him leave in annoyance, "Well isn't he pleasant."

Turning back to the couch, she gently placed Severus's head back in Lily's lap, "I would like to get some potions in him right away and clean up this blood around his mouth. Do you have a bed for him tonight?"

"We have a cot," Willow said embarrassedly, "The spare bed is in the attic…"

"He can have my bed for now," Lily offered.

"And just where will you sleep, young lady," Willow asked sternly. Her tone was clear,  _'Not with a boy.'_

"She can share my bed," Petunia said, jumping to her sister's rescue.

Parish seemed pleased enough. Vanishing the blood with her wand, she turned to Lily, "Show me to your room, please."

Levitating Severus, Parish followed Lily out of the room and up the stairs.

"We should probably be going," Thea suggested to Simone, "Our parents are probably beside themselves with worry."

Simone sighed, standing up, "Yes I suppose they are." She went over to Petunia and gave her a hug, "See you around, Pet." Once Thea had said her goodbyes, she and Simone took Minks by the hands and the three of them disappeared with a pop.

Dumbledore rose to his feet, "I do believe things are in order here, so we best be on our way as well. We'll be in touch." He shook Willow's hand cordially.

McGonagall followed him to the door, "Please tell Lily that she and Severus may have an extra week and a half to complete their summer assignments," she told Willow, "I believe this has been a very busy summer for them and will continue to be for some time."

The professors left with a polite farewell, leaving the Evanses to begin planning their new living arrangements with Severus.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, things may be looking up for Severus.
> 
> I hope this chapter has answered some curiosities some of you had about Simone's habit of being around at the right time and why she has such an easy time deducing Severus's problems. For years she just watched from the shadows, hoping for someone, a teacher, anyone, to step up and intervene when things got bad at school but the longer she waited, the more apparent it became that it wasn't going to happen. So she decided to take matters into her own hands. And Thea, well she tends to just feel drawn to places unknowing that they are going to reveal something to her. Simone is along for the ride, of course.
> 
> Hope you all liked the chapter.
> 
> Read and Review please :)


	15. A Series of Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus begins preparations for his new life with the Evans family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back yet again!
> 
> Can I just say I am thrilled so many of you love my story? Seriously, this had been a huuuuge self esteem booster for me. I wrote this story because I needed to get it out of my head, but to know others actually enjoy it makes me feel incredible.
> 
> Sorry if I don't respond to too many reviews. As you have probably gathered from the amount of times I have had to drawn from personal experiences to write some of the darker aspects of this story, my home life is...less than ideal. It gets hectic and I often times have a lot of work on my plate. One of those responsibilities is caring for a disabled family member and that takes a lot out of me. So if I ever forget to respond to your review, it isn't because I don't care, but because I am just so tired.
> 
> On with the show!

* * *

 

The next few days were a jumble of activity in the Evans' household. In order to make room for their long-term house guest, Hank moved his desk and any books necessary for his work at the University out to his tool shed. He left the remainder of his books, dozens of volumes of fiction and non-fiction, science journals and historical anthologies lining two walls of the room. With Severus being such a studious lad, Hank had no doubt the boy wouldn't mind a small library in his bedroom.

Of course, with Hank now intending to do his grading and research in the shed, Willow insisted it get cleaned top to bottom. They swept the floor and put down some cheap, inexpensive tile on the cement, the fair price courtesy of a neighbor working the local flooring store. They dusted and shined the worktable, all the tools placed on the wall above it, secured by nails hammered into the wall to act as hooks.

They sorted the junk and dented toolboxes that Hank had accumulated over the years into 'useable' and 'rubbish' piles and dealt with them accordingly. The space that cleared up allowed Hank to put his desk in the far corner and hang up some shelves above it for his books and journals. Willow polished and scrubbed the windows on the shed until the grim was gone and light shined through. The final touches were an area rug under Hank's desk and an antic Tiffany glass light fixture to go over the lightbulb in the ceiling, the fixture pulled from the attic, a former wedding gift for which they never had much use.

Willow put up an ad in the paper for her piano lessons and was able to get word to spread around with the help of the usual troop of gossipy housewives in the neighborhood. With several students already lined up for weekly lessons and Hank taking up tutoring University students on the side, there would be an added source of income to at least make the food budget manageable.

With Hank situated in the shed there was now a space for Severus to call his own. They brought the spare mattress down from storage and aired it out for a day or two. They then treated it to a good spritzing with a fabric spray; Petunia swore by the stuff for getting rid of the 'musty' odor on furniture and often used it on the living room sofa. The spray gave the mattress a fairly pleasant linen scent and Severus had no qualms about sleeping on it. The Evanses didn't have an extra bedframe anymore, but an old box spring beneath his mattress suited him just fine.

Lily quickly descended upon the room with some grey bedsheets and a forest green quilt and pillow shams once the bed was set in place. Knowing full well Severus's lack of interest in sports and finding band posters 'juvenile', she opted for digging through Severus's things and framing several pictures of famed potioneers, torn long ago from old copies of Withes Weekly and signed by the potioneers themselves in elegant, curly font.

Acquiring Severus things had proven an easier task than expected, but no less awkward. With an Auror present, Severus and Hank had ventured back into his childhood home and collected all of his personal belongings. Hank did an admirable job of not letting his shock and dismay show when he entered Severus' dismal excuse for a room. A mattress full of holes on the floor and a lone desk and chair were all that made up the sorry abode, everything else of value stuffed into Severus' trunk and shoved into the far corner of the room. They left the mattress and took the trunk and desk, figuring the latter could be useful.

Eileen was there when they came for Severus's things—Tobias having being hauled away while Eileen was left with strict instructions to appear for the hearing—but she hung back in the shadows, twisting her apron in her hands and worrying away at the skin around her fingernails. She barely made eye contact with her son, instead opting to stare at the floor whenever he went by. Severus tried not to let it bother him; he didn't wish to have a heart to heart with his mum where the Ministry could hear.

Prior to his Arrival, Willow had come for a personal one on one with Eileen. She had marched up the steps to that rickety house on Spinners End with a steely look of determination in her eyes. It was unknown what words passed between them, but when Willow reemerged, Eileen was crying softly and shaking her hand, nodding along to Willow's hushed whispers.

The Ministry wasted little time in giving the Evanses temporary custody of Severus when they got the report. A halfblood beaten by his magic hating muggle father was the last thing they needed a spotlight on while trying to reassure the Wizarding public that You-Know-Who's words against the 'threat' and 'danger' or muggles was just propaganda. Officials scheduled a hearing for the end of the week to make the setup permanent, in part to establish whether the Evanses were fit to take Severus in, and to cast sentencing on Eileen for her own complicity in the years of abuse.

Severus had protested such actions against his mother, a protest that ended in a rather heated row between him and Mr. Wrence. While Severus insisted his mother was a victim just as much as he was, Wrence argued that Eileen's own occasional acts of aggression on her child made her just as much an abuser as a victim. Severus was outraged and if Lily had not intervened—wrapping her arms around him and holding him until he calmed down—he might have leaped upon Wrence and throttled him.

Wrence did have some good news though; the hearing for Eileen was less a trial and more an intervention. If things went according to Wrence's plans, Eileen would be ruled an unfit mother and required to go to classes to regain custody. In doing so, the Ministry would see to it that Eileen work with a ministry-assigned agent to address her anger and in doing so, her own trauma at the hands of Tobias, the ordeal being cited as the motivation for her actions. While it was unlikely the court would see Tobias as ever being fit to go near his family again, it was possible to reason with Eileen to get the help and treatment she needed, maybe even reintegrate her into Wizard society. At least, that was how Wrence saw it.

Severus wasn't pleased with the situation, but at least he didn't have to worry about his mother being criminally charged alongside his father. He suspected some of the leniency towards Eileen was because of her pureblood status, disowned or not, but Severus couldn't prove it. If a pureblood former heiress wasn't treated kindly after her mistreatment at the hands of a muggle, it would be handing You-Know-Who the evidence he needed for his claims of a corrupt Ministry and a dangerous future terrorized by muggles. So the ministry had a tricky job ahead of itself; discreetly handling the harm caused by a muggle, while ensuring society saw a Ministry capable of serving justice without jeopardizing it's pureblood citizens with a pro-muggle biased. There had to be a healthy balance between muggleborns and purebloods in Ministry dealings; no side could be favored over the other. Severus being halfblood probably gave them a middle ground to work with.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" Lily's question jolted Severus out of his musings.

Severus shook himself, leaning back on his bed, "Just thinking," he answered. He cocked an eye at Lily.

"A sickle?" he asked, "I thought the phrase started with 'a penny'. Don't tell me those purebloods are rubbing off on you."

Lily laughed, coming over to sit next to him, "It's a thing Mary started doing back in second year. She got so sick of James and his friends acting smug about knowing wizards sayings and leaving us in the dark that she started mixing in wizard words with muggle phrases. It was really just to piss Black off; the sayings would  _sound_  like ones he should know, but the meanings would be lost on him."

"Clever," Severus said admirably, "I would have loved to see his face while he tried to puzzle it out."

Lily grinned, "It was priceless. He looks constipated when he thinks too hard." She jutted her jaw out and sucked in her upper lip, crossing her eyes.

Severus snorted and covered it with a cough, "That is…quite the spectacle."

"So…" Lily prompted, bumping shoulder with Severus, "What are you thinking about?"

Severus shrugged, "Just the hearing. This is a potentially big deal. A halfblood wizard nearly killed by his muggle father? The press will have a field day with it if they find out."

"Then we best hope they don't find out," Lily said.

Severus raked a hand through his hair, "This is one big mess. My mother is getting leniency…she's a pureblood…my dad hated magic and I'm half and half. Add what happened on the train and this is the recipe for the sort of scandal politicians love." He sighed, "I just don't want my family's personal lives dragged into the public for either side of this war."

Lily rested her head on Severus shoulder, rubbing his back sympathetically. She was glad he had finally grown used to her touch.

"I know what you mean," she said after a time, "The last thing I want is to have my status as a muggleborn to be the focal point of the trial with Avery. What he did was wrong no matter who he is or who I am. I don't need people arguing that it's wrong because I'm some poor muggleborn, or okay because I'm lesser than purebloods…I just want everyone to simply admit that the act itself was wrong and I deserve justice no matter my blood or the blood of my attacker…you know what I mean?"

Severus nodded, "Yeah, I do. I doubt it would be fair to any other girl who has been in your shoes if the ruling for the trial comes down to it being wrong simply because of the Ministry having a pro-muggle biased. The action should be condemned, not the target of the action."

"Exactly," Lily agreed, "I would hate to win the case only to hear some other girl Avery might have done this to wasn't taken seriously because there wasn't a political angle that people could roll with. 'A pureblood attacked another pureblood; that's hardly news'. What if someone actually said that? How would a girl feel going through that?"

"It's a messed up world, isn't it," Severus observed, "We're the victims and yet everyone has something to gain from the outcomes of our cases. No one should matter but us, and yet whatever ruling is made, someone else out there is going to come out on top for some political stance."

Lily rested her elbows on her knees, head in her hands, "It's screwy, alright. Nice to know our heritage matters more than us."

"At least you aren't from the Prince line," Severus pointed out. "What a headline that will be. 'Disowned heiress of Prince fortune beaten by muggle husband; halfblood son nearly killed.' That would sell papers."

"What about 'Halfblood Prince saves muggleborn; his life hangs in the balance'? I'm surprised that one didn't come out in the papers while you were recovering," Lily teased.

"You were in more danger than I was," Severus argued.

Lily's smile disappeared, her expression sobering, "That's really a matter of perspective." She bumped shoulders with him again, "I'm still glad you came for me."

Severus bumped back, "Every time."

They locked eyes for a minute, unblinking as the seconds ticked by.

Catching himself, Severus looked away, clearing his throat, "Well now…"

Lily shook herself, blushing, "Yes…well…"

"Did you come up here to talk about something?" Severus asked.

"What?" Lily blinked, "Oh, yes. That's right. We both got letters," she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small stack of letters wrapped in twine.

"You got one from Nesme and Davis. Apparently you never told them where you live or even the town, so they just sent them to Simon," Lily explained, handing Severus his letters.

"Oh, thank you," Severus said, baffled. Aside from the few letters he received over the years from Lucius working on recruiting him or Avery demanding he do his summer reading work in exchange for protection, Severus never got mail during the summer.

"And this is from Mary," Lily added, handing him a third envelope.

Now Severus truly was confused, "Mary?"

"She wrote to me too," Lily said, showing her own envelope, "She probably just wants to see how we're both doing."

"I see," Severus said, staring at the letter like it would explode at any second.

Lily rolled her eyes, "It's not going to bite! Mary probably just wants to thank you and see how you're doing. She was really concerned in the letter she sent me." She nudged Severus with her elbow, "Go on, open it."

Severus broke the envelope's wax seal and tugged the letter out. Unfolding the parchment, he scanned the letter carefully, taking in the neat, curvy handwriting.

' _Severus,_

_First, I would like to say that I hope this letter finds you well. Last time I saw you, you were still in dire straits at St. Mungos and they didn't have a clue as to when (or if) you would wake up._

_I was scared for you, if I am honest with myself. You risked your life for Lily and me—for which I am deeply grateful—but it almost killed you. When Lily wrote to me that you had woken up I was so relieved!_

_Secondly, it goes without saying that I am thankful you came to my rescue. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You had no reason to stick your neck out for anyone after how the school has treated you over the years and yet you did. And I can never thank you enough._

_Third, I feel it is only right that I give you my sincerest apologies. Truth be told, very few people have been very nice to you, myself included. We could have been far kinder to you. The way you were treated was greatly undeserved and I am sorry I let house biased influence me like that. I judged you before I knew you and it is high time I acknowledge how unjustified that was and how wrong I have been._

_I understand if you never wish to forgive me, but my apology still stands. I'm really and truly sorry. You're a good, brave man, Severus and I never should have stood back while others hurt you. That isn't how I was raised and I never should have stood for it._

_Lastly, I would like to extend an invitation to you this summer for tea. You see, my parents are quite adamant they meet you so that they may thank you in person. I myself, would greatly like to do so as well, seeing as last I saw you, you were unconscious._

_Lily is welcome to come if you would like, I understand you and I have had very little interaction over the years and you may not wish to meet one on one just yet._

_Should you say yes, owl me and I shall set up a date and time._

_I really would like to thank you in person, Severus. Please consider it._

_Sincerely,_

_Mary.'_

"Huh, she's a lot more formal in yours," Lily observed, reading over Severus's shoulder, "She must have been unsure how to talk with you. Still she really is glad you're okay."

"I take it from her lack of mention that you didn't tell her about what happened with my dad recently," Severus guessed.

"No, I felt that was something you should tell people, should you choose to," Lily said.

Severus nodded, "Thanks. I'm not exactly ready to be spreading it around."

"Mary may have an idea, thanks to Simone, but she doesn't know how bad it is," Lily admitted.

Severus groaned, "Serapeum and her big mouth."

"Would it make you feel better if I told you she only brought it up because she was giving me the business for ignoring you?" Lily offered.

Severus mulled that over, "…Maybe…but not because I think you deserve it," he back pedaled, "I was just…well it hurt when you started avoiding me. I can see why you did."

Lily gave Severus a lopsided smile, "I knew what you meant."

"So…Mary wishes me to visit at some point," Severus said, changing the subject.

"I think you should go," Lily told him, "You need to socialize more and it probably would do Mary some good to see for herself that you're alright. I mean, seeing you on the train was pretty…" she shuddered, "Horrifying."

"Her parents want to speak with me," Severus stated, looking at the letter again, "I'm not really all that great at meeting people."

"You did alright with all your new friends at school," Lily reminded him.

"That was against my will," Severus snarked.

"You still like them," Lily teased, "They're your friends now; deal with it."

Severus gave a very put upon sigh, "If I must. Anyway, I'll read Davis and Nesme's letter later; I imagine they'll have sent me a novel."

Lily laughed, "I'll bet they have. Nesme sure seems talkative. And I'm sure that your other new friends have included their well wishes in there too."

"Probably. Well, that's it for my letters; what's that last one?" Severus asked, gesturing to the remaining letter in Lily's lap.

Lily grimaced, "Well it's mostly from Remus—which is nice, he was really worried about us—but…" she opened the letter and pulled out two separate pieces of parchment, "It would seem James managed to sneak one of his own letters in before Remus sent it."

"How do you know Lupin didn't just simply agree to send it?" Severus asked suspiciously.

Lily tapped her finger on James' letter, "Because James asks me not to tell Remus in his. Remus promised me he wouldn't tell James where I live."

Severus raised a brow, "That is certainly…out of character for him. He normally does whatever those hooligans want."

Lily gave Severus a light shove, smiling playfully, "Be nice, Sev. He may not always stand up for himself, but he at least respects a girl's right to privacy. He knows that if I wanted James to have my address I would have told him already."

"So Lupin was at least taught how to be a gentleman," Severus surmised, biting back a smirk as Lily shoved him again, "So what does Potter have to say?"

Lily frowned, "It's just his usual antics, trying to flatter me, telling me he never wants to see tears shining in my "perfect eyes" again, that he would face a hundred Slytherins to protect me. It just goes on and on. He asks how I am which is sweet, I suppose, but he doesn't even mention you! I mean, Remus had the foresight to ask over your wellbeing—he recommends eating food with lots of iron, by the way, for the anemia—but James just keeps running his mouth."

Lily sighed, dropping her hands into her lap, "I appreciate that he is concerned for me, I really do. But after what you went through, the least he could do is ask after you. He knows how much you mean to me, so surely he can try to keep in mind what's important to me if he supposedly cares so much. And all the compliments? After what I've been through, romance isn't exactly on my mind."

"To be fair, you've been very tight lipped about what happened so maybe he doesn't know," Severus suggested. It put a bad taste in his mouth to defend Potter, but he couldn't really deny things had been quite chaotic in the aftermath of Avery's attack.

"He saw enough to piece together what happened," Lily said uncomfortably, "My robes were torn…I was wearing yours. I looked a fright. He has to have figured out what went on. And still he tries to woo me. I'm sure he means nothing by it but…"

Lily groaned, falling back on the bed, "Even when he is being nice, it's all for some ulterior motive. He's asking how I am as 'Lily; the girl he cares about because he wants to date her,' not 'Lily the person he cares about because it's basic human decency.' I just can't help but feel that while he's sincere, deep down he does it while hoping to win me over."

Lily righted herself, looking at Severus, "It's like he got his dating advice from one of those romance novels Mary reads. The girl is nearly ravished," she made a face of disgust, not really considering what Avery did to be 'ravishing' in any form, "and she's saved at the last minute, and then she jumps into the arms of the knight in shining armor and rides off into the sunset with him. Is that what he expected?"

"Possibly," Severus replied.

"Well I've got news for him: real life doesn't work that way. There is nothing romantic about being flirted with after something like that. And for the record, he is a far cry from a knight in that scenario. I mean, you rescued me," Lily looked at Severus, appreciation once again shining in her eyes.

Severus flushed, "I was just doing the right thing," he offered in explanation.

"And it means the world to me," Lily told him, "Really, you've been just wonderful since this all happened. You've been so patient with me; you listen and you don't press me for answers, and you've been doing your best not to snap at anything. Even right now, I know you don't like that James wrote to me, but you haven't been rude or moody, and aren't trying to convince me he's scum or anything. You're holding back for me and I really appreciate it."

"You've been through a lot," Severus admitted, "It wouldn't really be fair to go off on you for Potter sending a letter without your knowledge. Besides I think we both realize nothing good comes from us telling each other who we can associate with."

Lily nodded, "Yeah, it just causes more trouble for us. But listen, for what it is worth, I am sorry for what James and his friend put you through. It was unfair and it wasn't right. And if I'm nice to James, it isn't because I am choosing his friendship over yours. Frankly after learning of some of the things he and his friends have done to you, I don't really think friends is the word for it anyway. Maybe just housemates. Still, if you see me being pleasant to him, it isn't because I have taken his side. I just live with the toerag most of the year; turning him from acquaintance to enemy would be asking for him to make my life miserable."

"Like things would be for me if I had told my dormmates to sod off," Severus agreed, "Yes I suppose that makes sense. Though now I  _have_  effectively told them to sod off…"

Lily frowned, "That's right. You did do that. I mean, after the showdown with Avery and Mulciber, you can't exactly deny where you stand in all this. Are your remaining dormmates going to make trouble for you?"

Severus thought about it, "I don't believe so. I mean, Wilkes and Black's brother might, but they're the only vocal few. Stebbins and Parkison might be most distant and condescending, but they know not to make a fuss. As it is, Serapeum will keep people at bay if there is discord."

"Ah, that's right," Lily remembered, "The whole Pureblood protection thing Simone was talking about. At least now you have a decent person to look out for you."

"I don't need someone to protect me," Severus said moodily, "I do quite fine on my own."

"Let's just pray Avery didn't teach anyone that spell of yours before we left school," Lily said softly.

The pair sat in worried silence for a long time after that, neither speaking until Willow called them down for dinner.

 

{page break}

 

"Sev?" came a timid whisper from the doorway, "Are you awake?"

Severus rolled over, squinting through the darkness to make out a figure peeking around his door, "Lily?"

Lily pushed the door open a little more. Casting one last glance into the hallway, she tiptoed into Severus's room and closed the door behind her.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asked cautiously.

Sitting up, Severus turned on the lamp on his side table, "No, I hadn't fallen asleep yet. What's wrong?"

Lily fidgeted with her fingers, not meeting Severus's gaze.

"I was wondering," she began nervously, "Do you suppose I could stay here tonight?"

Severus sat up a little straighter, "What?"

Lily waved her hands frantically, "It's not what you think. I didn't mean it like that. I just…I'm having trouble sleeping and well…"

Severus took the time to look at Lily; to really take her in this time.

Though the pale, shaky visage she had been on the train and the few days after had faded, Lily still was a little peaky. Most days Severus spent with her after being released from the hospital, Lily had looked fine, but now that Severus thought about it, he could recall the faintest hint of make-up smeared by her eye or under her chin.

Now in the faint light of his lamp, Lily seemed almost as pale as he did, her skin pallid and a far cry from the rosy cheeked girl he grew up with. Looking closer, Severus could just make out deep circles under her eyes.

"How long have you been having nightmares?" Severus asked.

Lily rubbed her arm, looking away, "Honestly? Most nights. Almost every night since it happened. When I shared a bed with Tuney the night we brought you home, things were okay, but…alone…" she looked up at Severus, her eyes pleading, "Just tonight, Sev, I promise. Please?"

Severus took in Lily's tired eyes and fragile stance, standing there clad in a tank top and a pair of sleep pants.

Severus took a deep breath. It was innocent enough. And she had already slept next to him at the hospital, right?

Gathering his resolve, Severus nodded.

"Get in," he ordered quietly, pulling back the covers and scooting over.

Relief lit up Lily's face like a lumos spell. Quickly crossing the room, she all but dove into the bed.

"You're sure you're alright with this?" she asked, wiggling under the blankets to get comfortable.

Severus hummed noncommittally, "We've done this before. I'm just concerned what your parents would say."

Lily rolled over on her side, facing Severus, "Mum lets us wake up on our own, so you don't have to worry about her coming to the door. We're fine," she rested her head on the pillow, smiling contentedly. She stared at Severus, a grin on her face, "Thanks, Sev."

Severus coughed, "It's no big deal. Just two friends sleeping, right?"

Lily nodded, closing her eyes as she snuggled into the blankets happily, "Right."

Severus attempted to relax. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on clearing his mind and going to sleep, when he was startled by the feeling of something pressing against him.

Lily curled up besides him, their shoulders touching and their faces inches away from each other on the pillow.

"Night Sev," Lily said sleepily, already drifting off into slumber.

"…-n-night," Severus said. Taking a shaky breath, he composed himself.

"It's no big deal, it's no big deal," he chanted over and over.

Risking a glance at Lily he watched her sleep, her face relaxed and peaceful, her breath stirring some strands of hair hanging over her face.

Severus stared at her, not sure what to do. She seemed so happy with him.

Looking around, Severus carefully moved closer. Ever so carefully, he wrapped his arm around Lily, bringing her closer.

Lily cuddled into his side with a contented sigh, her hand coming up to grip his nightshirt tightly in her sleep.

For a long time, Severus just lay there. He soaked in the warmth of Lily's embrace, the subtle fragrance of her hair. He marveled at the comforting way her head tucked below his chin, her delicate frame fitting so nicely against his own.

As Lily's soft breathing lulled him to sleep, Severus knew that if Lily asked to do this again, he would say yes in a heartbeat.

And he did say yes when she came back the next night.

And the next night.

And the next.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some interesting new developments have arisen, haven't they?
> 
> I told you I wouldn't be glossing over Lily's ordeal. This is only the beginning and I plan to further hash out some of the fall out emotionally as time goes on.
> 
> This chapter has Lily discussing much of what I found to be wrong with James' character in canon. I have already made it known that I disapprove of him winning Lily under false pretenses by pretending to have changed his bullying ways. However, even if he HAD changed it would still bother me due to the reasons for this change. James wouldn't have stopped because he became a better person but because he saw doing so would get him something--or someone--he wanted. In order to get Lily, he stopped bullying. That's not as noble as stopping his bullying because he honestly saw it as wrong. James does everything because he is working an angle, at least where Lily is concerned. This shows his lack of regard for others as well as her; he wouldn't be changing because he cares about how it makes her feel, he would be changing because he saw it as the perfect way to win her over. THAT'S what I dislike about James.
> 
> Not much to say here since the chapter focused mostly on one scene and is straight forward. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Read and review, my lovelies!


	16. The Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Severus guardianship hearing arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned!
> 
> So we're moving on along in this story.
> 
> I have very little idea how normal trials or hearings go in the Wizengamot since we've only really seen and read about Harry's in his fifth year and Karkaroff from a memory. There is the short snippet of the blood purity hearing Umbridge held in the Seventh book, but given that this was after the ministry was taken over, I doubt they followed the same proceedings for trials or hearings as they would only be prosecuting innocent people they intended to rule as guilty no matter what.
> 
> So I had to invent some proceedings based lightly on how American muggle courts are done. Very, loosely based. Very loosely.

* * *

 

The day of Severus's guardianship hearing started with the Evans family and Severus gathered around the breakfast nook table in a mutual subdued mood. No one knew just how the hearing would turn out. While Wrence was positive he had built up a solid case against Severus's return to his own family, that didn't guarantee he would be place long term with the Evanses.

Some members of the Wizengamot were old fashioned and conservative, so while they may publicly speak in favor of muggleborn children doing things such as attending school and having wizarding jobs, when it came to wizard children of pureblood parents—or just parent—they tended to have rather archaic values. They may feel a child of pureblood heritage would do better placed in a pureblood family. The fact that his muggle father caused the housing displacement to begin with, some of the court officials may not be wary of leaving Severus in the hands of a muggle family.

Wrence warned the Evanses of a rather nasty piece of work who may try to impede them. He wasn't allowed to give names—sworn on oath as a ministry agent not to create bias against any official—but he described her as a short, squat little woman. Using her false cheerfulness and ruthless backhanded tactics to climb to a seat on the Wizengamot, the upstart was known for narrowmindedness that borderlines supremacy, masked by her smiling demeanor and the ever present claim that it was for 'the good of the children.'

"She claims to like muggles but she never goes in favor of them during any voting on trial outcomes," Wrence had told Severus, "Your barrister will really need to drive home the importance of you living with a family you trust in order to outvote people like her."

Waking to Severus's alarm clock in time to get back to her own room before her family awoke; Lily sat beside Severus at the table, both stoically eating their eggs with little enthusiasm. Next to Lily, Petunia nibbled on a piece of jam-covered toast, avoiding anyone's eyes and studying the patterns in the tablecloth. Willow and Hank sat in uncomfortable silence, nervously swallowing down food around the lumps in their throats and valiantly trying to read the paper.

"Simone's father should be here soon," Hank said, breaking the silence.

Willow wiped her mouth, "Yes, her letter said he would arrive at nine-thirty."

Reaching under the table, Lily took Severus's hand in her own, giving it a squeeze, "It will be alright, Sev."

"Simone's very confident in her father's capabilities," Petunia stated, "she doesn't think the Wizengamot would disagree with him."

"You heard Wrence; some of them might," Severus mumbled, "This all rides on getting enough of them to our side."

"And he will," Lily said, feeling less confident than she sounded, "They'd have to be crazy to put you with strangers over a family that cares about you."

Severus sighed. He wanted to believe Lily's words, but it was difficult. Wizarding society had let him down so many in his life; failing to protect him, to understand him. How was he supposed to put his faith in it now?

"It was a lovely meal, Mrs. Evans, but I don't think I can eat anymore," Severus said politely, putting down his fork.

Willow nodded, "I don't think I could either. If everyone is finished, why don't you all head to the sitting room? I'll clean up here."

"I'll help, mum," Petunia offered.

Severus and Lily followed Hank into the living room, neither saying a word. It was as if a dark cloud hung over their heads.

Sitting on the sofa together, Lily picked up a nearby periodical Hank had left out and flipped aimlessly through it while Severus drummed his fingers on the armrest.

After a short while, Petunia and Willow join them and the family of four plus a fifth sat in anxious, worried silence.

A reprieve from the tension came in the form of a knock at the door.

"That's probably Simone's father," Petunia said, getting up from her chair to answer the door.

A moment later, she returned, followed by a man in a gray suit with thin purple pinstripes on it.

There was nothing remarkable about the man at first glance. He was on the short side, probably only a hair taller than Severus, with short blonde hair going snow white at the roots, atop of which sat a gentleman's derby hat. His light skin had the tiniest hint of a tan and his stomach protruded out in front of him. Overall, he looked like an unassuming, plump little man.

He smiled, showing off a set of brilliant white teeth, "Good morning," he said in a loud, jolly voice, "I'm Ashwin Serapeum. I believe you were expecting me?"

"Yes," Hank got up from his seat, coming over to shake the man's hand, "It is wonderful to meet you. Forgive me for this, but I am afraid we're still a little confused by how all this will go."

Willow came over to join her husband, "Yes, we never got to meet you before today. How will you be able to properly represent Severus?"

Ashwin laughed, his belly shaking under his suit, "I imagine you would find that strange. You see, I felt that with Severus going through so many changes in such a short time, it might be better if I didn't visit. He doesn't need another stranger coming round here, prodding him for answers after all he's no doubt been through with Wrence. No, I felt correspondence through owl would do just fine."

"But will that be enough to prepare you both for today," Hank asked.

Another laugh from Ashwin, "Not to worry, my fine man, I've got plenty of tricks up my sleeve to sway minds and melt hearts. Don't you worry."

Ashwin turned to survey the room, "I already know the lovely Petunia," he said, smiling at the shy wave the oldest Evans sister gave him, "So this must be Lily."

Ashwin walked over to the sofa and offered Lily his hand, "Lovely to meet you, my dear," he said kindly.

"Lovely to me you too," Lily replied shaking his hand.

Ashwin turned to Severus, "Well young man, there's no guessing who you are," He offered his hand to Severus, "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Severus."

Severus gave the man's hand a good shake, "You as well, sir."

Ashwin beamed, "Now then, if things are settled here, we should head out. Mr. Evans, I believe we may take your car into London."

Hank frowned, "But it's far too small for all of us," he said, gazing around the room.

Ashwin grinned, "You forget, my good man," he pulled out his wand, "We have magic."

 

{page break}

 

Getting into the Ministry of Magic proved to be just as fascinating as riding in an interior enlarged car for the Evanses. After cramming themselves into the phone booth, they were whisked away into the mysterious Ministry, hidden in a space beyond time and reason. It was quite the experience. Ashwin had explained that it was the most common visitor's entrance; Petunia was horrified to learn that employee entrances involved stepping into a toilet bowl.

The Ministry itself was a grand spectacle. From the papers flying to different locations, to the grand fountain in the center of the main lobby, it was truly a sight to behold. The ceiling seemed miles above them, giving the place a cavernous feel. Windows lined sections of the lobby floor to ceiling, a slew of activity happening behind each one. Large rod iron lamp posts stood at every corner illuminating their every step to the main desk.

After having his wand processed and a nametag affixed to his shirt as well as each of the Evanses, Severus was ready to proceed to the hearing. Boarding a golden elevator that seemed to move side to side as well as forward and back, they rode the lift down to the dungeon, where the hearing would take place.

"Why is it in the dungeons?" Petunia whispered nervously.

"Hearings like this are rare," Ashwin explained, "The Wizengamot usually sits in on criminal trials, so the court is within walking distance of the holding cells. Wouldn't want a dangerous wizard to have an opportunity to escape during the transport."

"Why don't they do many custody hearings?" Willow asked curiously.

"Unfortunately, much of our Child Services department relies on gathering confessions and reports from people; and as I am sure you are now aware, most children harmed do not come forward for many reasons," Ashwin side eyed Severus, "so unless the department gets reports deemed valid by the ministry to investigate the claims, there isn't much they can do with their suspicions. Many Purebloods rarely report undue actions against family due to a wish to resolve matters themselves and muggleborns typically have the muggle authorities to handle such matters."

"A lot of goof they do," Severus muttered, "if my mom claimed her black eye was from walking into a door, they let the matter drop."

Ashwin smiled sadly, "Both the muggle and wizard world have a lot to improve upon when it comes to helping others, I'm afraid."

Walking into a large circular room lined with seating, Ashwin directed the Evanses to a row of seats to their left.

Ushering Severus further into the room, Ashwin and Severus sat down at a table clearly brought out for such unique occasions. In the dead center of the room stood a tall back, intimidating looking chair with thick arms.

Severus had never been in court before, but he had a good idea what the purpose of that chair was for.

Soon people began to trickle in. Ministry officials enter in standard black robes, taking seats to the farthest sides of the room. Following them were the Aurors from the investigation launched after Wrence and Dumbledore had contacted the ministry over Tobias's actions.

Wrence and Parish entered together, though the former made no effort to acknowledge Parish, walking in with his eyes forward, all business, and striding over to a seat up front, not far from Severus and Ashwin. At being snubbed, Parish sought out Severus's gaze and rolled her eyes with a half smile. Taking a seat near Wrence, Parish turned and waved to the Evanses.

The next person to enter, led in by a Auror, had Severus's full and undivided attention.

Eileen looked so small next to the Auror guiding her in. She walked in a stiff almost ginger manner, as though she were a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. Hands clasped together and trembling she made minute glances at the room around her, switching between that and staring at the floor. Her hair clean for once and donned in her best dress, she still never looked worst for wear. It was her eyes that did it. The scared, wide eyed, hopeless gaze she gave tore through Severus and left him gutted.

The Wizengamot are the last to arrive. Clad in plum robes and wearing hats reminiscent to judges in France, they marched in single file and in an almost choreographed move, separated into neat even lines to divide to the own rows of seating, the scribe taking a position up front and to the right.

"The Wizengamot will now oversee the hearing of Severus Snape, Minister of Magic Harold Minchum and Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore presiding," said one of the judges.

Harold Minchum was a wizened, prune faced man with wiry hair and little neck. Known for enforcing Dementor based security at Azkaban, he was what one would call a hard-liner, rigid and inflexible when it came to his ideals, ones he would stick to above all else.

Dumbledore emerged from a the same door Severus and the Evans family had come through, a bit unorthodox for a high ranking official, but not unsurprising given Dumbledore's whimsical and odd behavior.

Wearing his usual flamboyant attire, magenta robes with what appeared to be either crescent moons or bananas on them, the headmaster was his usual cheerful and composed self. As he passed Severus, he gave the boy a kind smile before proceeding to the front.

Sitting besides the Minister, Dumbledore nods to Minchum, granting him the floor.

"The Ministry acknowledges Severus Snape and the matter of his custody," Minchum began in an uncharacteristically high baritone, "Is Mr. Snape's legal authority present?"

"I am, Minister," Ashwin replied, the jovial tone absent from his voice to be replaced with a stern, cold one, "Ashwin Serapeum of the Jamestown Serapeums, acting as barrister for Severus Snape."

Minchum nodded, "And the manager for this case?"

Wrence stepped forward, "That would be me, Minister. Melonious Wrence, agent for the department of child welfare." He tapped approached the podium Minchum sat behind and held up his papers, straining to reach the minister.

Taking the proffered papers, Minchum reviewed the case and Wrence's authorization with a grim approval, "Yes, yes, that appears to be in order. Now, is the British Youth representative here?"

"Present!" Came an loud reply from the lower seats of the Wizengamot. A tall boy no more than seventeen stood in regular robes over by the scribe. With a head of straight, brown hair and a bright smile, Severus couldn't help be think the boy seemed awfully familiar.

"Frank Longbottom, sir," the boy said with confidence, "Auror trainee serving as active representative of British youth, sir."

"Well all seems to be in order," Minchum said, looking to Dumbledore for confirmation, "Lord Serapeum, you may begin."

Ashwin smoothed out his suit and strode forward with all the authority and confidence of a king and the strictness of a drill sergeant, "Your Honors, we are here today because of a great injustice committed upon one of our precious youths. A boy, a young man not yet legally able to live on his own, was harmed severely by his own father. His father, Your Honors, a man who should cherish and protect him. Someone who should never have taken advantage of his child's trust and vulnerability, but did so irrevocably. I stand before you today to prove that his household is unfit for children and to urge you to place young Severus in the care of a responsible and loving family, the Evanses."

"I would like to call my first witness forward, if you please," Ashwin continued, gesturing to Parish.

Parish approached the center of the room. Having not been ordered to sit in the intimidating chair in the middle, she remained standing.

"And you are," Minchum asked scrutinizing the woman.

Parish held her head high as she responded, "Healer Caroline Parish. I oversaw Severus's care in St. Mungos after his attack on the Hogwarts train."

"Let the record show that the aforementioned case is to be reviewed at a later date and will not be discussed at any length in today's proceedings," Minchum interrupted, "Healer Parish, the relevance of this statement?"

"It was during treating him that several physical abnormalities were noticed; ones indicative of injuries healing improperly," Parish replied, "Further investigation revealed a variety of injuries inflicted over the course of the past ten years or so, diagnostic spells dating the earliest to be around four or three years of age."

"And what led you to believe these injuries were sustained through abuse," Minchum prodded.

Parish already had her answers lined up, "Many of the injuries noted would take great physical force to inflict, not conducive with the average childhood bruises and scrapes. For example, a set of broken ribs when he was seven would have taken more than falling off a swing set to accomplish. The lack of treatment sought to heal any of these injuries further validated the suspicion that they were purposely inflicted and not an accident."

"And you reported these suspicions?" Minchum asked.

"I did sir. Unfortunately Severus was not willing to discuss matters with Mr. Wrence," Parrish told him.

"Mr. Wrence?" Minchum prompted.

"Sir," Wrence nodded, reaching for his notebook, "Mr. Snape's behavior the day of questioning matched that of cases studied in the past with victims, demonstrating obvious signs of distrust and discomfort, anxiety and heightened stress levels," Wrence produced his wand, "Diagnostics picked up on a change in heart rate whenever he answered a question denying claims of abuse, indicating the possibility of lying."

 _'He was using his wand on me that day?'_  Severus thought, outraged.

The hearing went on in much of the same way for some time. Wrence and Parish continued to divulge information about Severus's health and life than he felt comfortable with, while Ashwin interspersed their dialogue with calls for the Wizengamot's outrage at such heinous treatment.

The aurors who had arrested Tobias were asked to step forward and share their version of events, citing Tobias as belligerent and uncooperative with them. They made note of Eileen's state at the time of the report, reciting the list of injuries found on her and treated by healers once Tobias was hauled away.

People came and went with their own recollections, each talking about Severus as though he wasn't in the room.

Parish went into detail of Severus's injuries on the night he was rescued by the Evanses, bringing up that many of them were conclusive of falling down the stairs and the level of bruising on his neck as well as the damage to his windpipe. Wrence provided pictures that were passed among the officials, much to Severus's mortification.

Ashwin gave a very moving speech about the inhumanity of Tobias's actions and how terrifying it must have been to have one's own father try to literally choke the life out of them.

"And what was Mr. Snape's state of being after the attack?" a judged asked.

"He was unconscious for the next 16 hours," Parish informed the judge, "aside from waking him up ever two hours, the Evanses, noted no change in his condition until the potions had kicked in. The injuries were quite severe, sir."

"I believe it would be best to hear from Mr. and Mrs. Evans," Dumbledore said suddenly, making his first contribution to the hearing since it started, "They did after all witness the event."

Minchum thought it over, "Very well," he gestured for Willow and Hank to come forward.

Exchanging nervous looks, Willow and Hank approached the center and stood awkwardly before the court.

"Can you describe the night in question?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

Hank looked at Willow, taking her hand in his, "Well...We had been read in the sitting room when Lily—our daughter—came running into the room. She was crying, you see, and she told us she had just been on the phone with Severus when a big commotion came up on his end and he stopped responding."

"What sort of commotion?" Asked another judge.

"Screaming," Hank answered, "A lot of yelling; Severus told Lily his father was looking for him, that the man was in a right bad mood. Lily told him to call the authorities, but...before he could do anything, his father was there. Lily said there was more yelling and then the phone sounded like it hit something and suddenly Severus wasn't answering her."

Willow took over from there, "We had heard about Parish's suspicions back at the hospital, so we already were wary of Severus's father. The man sounded dangerous. So when Lily came to us, we went right over there."

"And what did you see when you arrived?" Dumbledore inquired with an encouraging nod.

Hank shifted uncomfortably, "No one answered the door; they couldn't hear us over all the screaming. But the screaming was getting louder and no one was letting us in. We could hear Severus's father and his mother but we couldn't hear him and that...well it's worried us. So I...I kicked the door in."

"He was strangling him," Willow burst out, horror and pain filling her face, "That man was strangling Severus; choking him. His own son! Severus was covered was struggling and his movements kept getting more frantic and that man didn't seem to care. It was awful."

Severus shifted uncomfortably under the pitying stares he received from the judges.

From his seat, Frank was staring at Severus in shock, his eyes traveling to the bruised on Severus's neck.

Hank put an arm around his wife, "Tobias was ranting about putting an end to Severus. He was out of his mind. He never even saw me come at him."

One of the judged leaned forward curiously, "What do you mean by that?"

Hank shrugged, "I hit him...I don't know what came over me. I saw a kid in danger, a child I knew. I'd seen Severus grow up and then I see him failing at the end of his father's grip and I just sort of...reacted. I was scared he'd kill Severus."

"You see, Your Honors," Ashwin interjected, "Loving parents saw a boy they cared for being harmed and leaped into action. If Hank Evans had not intervened on that night, Severus would very likely be dead."

A quiet sob came from Severus mother, her face in her hands. Severus's heart ached.

"I brought Severus out of the house and had Hank drive us home," Willow explained, "The poor boy was barely able to stay conscious."

Willow wiped her eyes, sniffling slightly, "I knew we should have never let them send him back to that place. I just knew it. That isn't a home; a place like that is not fit for children."

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans, Mr. Evans," Minchum said, "You may sit down now."

Ashwin waited until the Evanses were seated to speak, "If it please the Wizengamot, I believe it would be prudent to hear from Severus himself on his experiences at home and whom he wishes to live with."

Looking to Dumbledore for his approval, Minchum gestured his assent with a wave of his hand, "We'll allow it."

Ashwin touched Severus's shoulder encouragingly, "The floor is all yours, son."

Severus took a deep breath and stood up.

"Mr. Snape, how would you describe your relationship with your father?" Minchum asked.

"Poor," Severus answered immediately, "Very poor."

Minchum waved him onward, "Do you care to elaborate?"

Severus was all too happy to oblige, "For one, he was always drinking. He drinks away ever cent he makes and leaves us with hardly enough to get by on. He's a sorry excuse for a human being. Flat out drunk every day before noon; pathetic. When he drinks he gets angry; everything pisses him off. Especially me."

"And your father was violent with you?" a judge asked.

Severus cast a wary glance around the room; everyone was watching him, casting their own judgements about him. They were drawing their own opinions about him and what he had been through. Did they pity him? Think him weak and pathetic? He look over at Longbottom; the boy sat there staring at him with the saddest expression on his face, like he was looking at a kicked puppy.

"Mr. Snape?" the judge prompted, "Can you answer the question for us?"

Severus looked over his shoulder at the Evans family.

Lily's eyes met his and she smiled warmly at him.

Severus soaked in that warmth and let it give him strength.

"Yes...my father hit me often," Severus admitted, "It seemed like he was just making up excuses to hit me after a while."

"Mr. Snape, do you fear for your safety in your father's presence?" Minchum asked.

Severus swallowed, his mouth feeling dry, "...yes."

His mother could be heard sniffling from her side of the room.

"And what about your mother?" Minchum prodded further.

Severus hesitated, "...my mother cares about me very much. She usually tries to protect me. I'm not afraid of her."

"And what of the Evanses, how do you feel about them?" Minchum asked.

Severus looked back at Lily when he answered, "I've known them for years, I trust them. They've always looked after me. I know I would be safe with them." He shifted awkwardly, "May I sit down now?"

"You may," Minchum permitted.

Severus returned to his chair, smiling weakly when Ashwin patted him on the shoulder.

"Mrs. Snape, would you please come forward?" Minchum asked waving her closer.

Eileen warily walked to the middle of the room, the Auror who brought her in following. He directed Eileen to sit in the chair and when she did, the Auror drew his wand.

"Restraints will not be necessary," Ashwin stated firmly before Eileen could be magically bound to the chair, "Eileen comes here of her own free will. She is not a prisoner."

Minchum nodded, "Very well. Mrs. Snape, how would you describe your husbands temperament?"

Eileen wrung her hands, staring at the floor, "Well, he's an...unpleasant man."

"And how does he feel about magic?" Minchum inquired.

Eileen bit her lip, shrugging, "He...doesn't like it much, I suppose."

Minchum scrutinized Eileen sternly, "And would you say he is a violent man?"

Eileen didn't answer straight away, staring at her hands, "...I...I wouldn't say he is violent—"

"Mrs. Snape, may I remind you that you are under oath?" one judge interjected.

Eileen flinched at their tone. Chancing a glance at Severus, he son stared back at her pleadingly, willing her to tell the truth.

"He can be rather rough with us," Eileen said finally.

"Can you name some examples," asked the judge who scolded her.

Eileen shrugged again, "He yells...and throws things. He...sometimes hits me..."

Minchum watched her carefully, "And his son?"

Eileen nodded, "Yes...he hits Severus too."

Minchum looked over his papers, "And Mrs. Snape is it also true that  _you_  have laid your hands on your son as well?"

Severus stiffened, going rigid in his chair. He turned accusingly to Wrence, but the man just held up a finger him.  _'Wait. Just wait.'_

Eileen paused. Looking guiltily at Severus, she chewed her lip nervously, hands fidgeting.

"Yes..." she answered, her head down so that her hair hid her face.

"Why is that?' Minchum asked.

Eileen kept her head down, "I was upset...he made Toby mad."

"So you lashed out at your son," Minchum surmised.

"I didn't mean to," Eileen insisted, "I was upset."

Minchum raised an eyebrow, "That's hardly an excuse."

Eileen bowed her head in shame.

Minchum pushed on, "Mrs. Snape, would you care to verify the series of events the Evanses described on the night in question."

"They...it..." Eileen stammered. Struggling for an excuse, she gave up with a sigh, "Everything they said is true..."

"And where were you at the time of the incident?" Minchum pressed her for an answer.

"I tried to stop Toby," Eileen replied, "but he wouldn't listen to me; he wouldn't stop. He-he shoved me away."

"Do you feel your husband was a significant danger to your son that night?" Minchum asked.

"Yes," Eileen admitted.

Minchum looked at the other judges to see their reactions before moving on, "Do you feel your husband is unsafe for your son to be around?"

Sad, defeated, Eileen nodded, "...yes."

"And are  _you_  too dangerous for your son to be around?" Minchum asked.

Wrence chose that moment to intervene, "Minister, if you don't mind me saying, Mrs. Snape has some minor issues to address in managing her anger, but it could be corrected. I suggest she attend sessions with a specialist from my department to be reformed. If at a later date she is deemed fit to care for a child, we can revisit the case to see if her son may be returned to her."

Minchum thought this over, "I suppose that could be a possibility." He looked to Dumbledore to see if the suggestion met their Chief Warlocks approval. Seeing Dumbledore nod his assent, Minchum addressed the judges, "All in favor of Mrs. Snape attending behavioral correction sessions?"

A number of hands rose in the air.

Minchum himself had his and raised. Carefully he took count, "All opposed?"

Many hands went up. Minchum counted them off.

Severus took count in his head as well. With a sign of relief, he was glad to see many voted more for the sessions than against it.

"We rule in favor," he concluded, "Mrs. Snape, you are to report to the ministry once a week for the next year. If, at the end of that time, you are deemed fit to have your son back, we may revisit the case. You may go now."

Trembling, Eileen got up from the chair and followed the Auror. She was quietly given the choice to return to her seat, but instead chose to leave the room entirely, sending one last fleeting look towards her son before she was gone.

Severus tried not to let her speedy retreat bother him.

Minchum cleared his throat, "I believe we have heard all the evidence we need. At this time, we shall discuss the matter of Severus guardianship."

"He should go to his grandparents," one judge said.

Another judged snorted, "Need I remind you that the Princes disowned Eileen and her son?"

A third judge shook their head, "It doesn't matter if they did or didn't, the Evanses want the boy, let them take him."

"If I may speak," came a syrupy sweet voice.

Sitting among the judges was a young woman. Squat and full faced, she had a toad-like quality to her, with a bulging eyes and no neck to speak of. Sitting atop her head was a matching plum bow to go with her robes, the over sized accessory giving her a rather childish, immature appearance.

She flashed a wide, toothy smile at the Minister.

"Sir, not to belabor a point, but it was a muggle who inflicted such harm on the poor boy. Would it not be traumatic to place him with muggles after all he's been through?"

"Objection," Ashwin said, "Severus is perfectly comfortable with the Evanses family. He stated so himself."

The woman continued as if he hadn't spoken, "He favors his mother, who is a pureblood. Surely he feels more comfortable with wizards and witches. I just think...perhaps the boy would be better off raised with a pureblood family given the circumstances."

"Ms. Umbridge," Dumbledore spoke up, "As well meaning as your intentions were, it would seem the Evanses family is more than capable of taking Severus in. As it is, should we rule against placing Severus with them, we would need to come up with a pureblood family willing to take him."

Umbridge smiled wider, "But I already have a family for him."

The doors behind Severus opened, prompting Severus to turn around. When his gaze fell on who stood in the doorway, his eyes went wide and the color drained from his face.

Abraxas Malfoy strode into the room. Ever the figure of grace, he moved regally and with authority.

"Mr. Malfoy has so kindly offered his home to Mr. Snape," Umbridge said sweetly.

Mr. Malfoy nodded, "My son was a former classmate of Mr. Snape's before graduating and he took Severus under his wing. When we got word what had happened, Lucius was very adamant that we take the boy in, so that he may have a quality upbringing."

Severus looked over his shoulder at Lily, catching her eye. She stared back just as startled and surprised as he was.

 _'This is a plot,'_  Severus thought,  _'You-Know-Who told Lucius to do this.'_

Ashwin regarded Abraxas with a critical eye, no trace of warmth in his gaze.

"Your Honors," Ashwin said coldly, "While Lord Malfoy's offer is generous, the Evanses have shown more than enough love, and compassion and effort in looking after Severus. Lucius Malfoy has been out of Hogwarts for years; his acquaintance with Severus has long since waned. Evanses know Severus, very well in fact. They are readily available to be the family this young man needs."

"So are the Malfoys," Umbridged said pleasantly, "They have more than enough financial security to keep Severus living in relative comfort."

"Money isn't everything, Dolores," Ashwin said stiffly.

Umbridged narrowed her eyes but her smile never left her face, "But after the squalid life he has led, wouldn't it be nice if poor Severus was well provided for?"

"His every need would certainly be met," Abraxas added smugly.

"If expensive things were the key to raising children I would think some of us here would have turned out better, wouldn't you say, Abraxas?" Ashwin challenged cooly.

Abraxas raised a brow imperiously, but said nothing.

"C-can I say something?" Lily asked timidly.

Lily flushed as all eyes landed on her.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore said kindly, prompting her to speak.

Looking at Severus, Lily took a deep breath,"I've known Severus since I was seven. We grew up in the same town. We've gone everywhere together and done everything together for years. In the time I have known him, the only true time Severus has ever truly been happy is away from his house...when we were together. My parents have treated him like their own since the day they met him. They've fed him, given him clothes, put band-aids on cuts and scratches and hugged him when they thought he needed it. We care about him. We love him. We're already a family to him...please...let him come home with us."

Lily sat back down, her eyes swimming with tears. Next to her, Petunia patted her shoulder comfortingly.

Minchum thought over everything carefully, "It would seem a vote is in order." He turned to the judges, "All in favor of Mr. Snape being released into Lord Malfoy's custody?"

Hands went up, Umbridge among them, a large smile on her face.

"All in favor of the Evanses?"

Rapidly, an overwhleming amount of hands shot into the air.

Severus felt a smile threatening to creep across his face.

"Well I think we have our verdict," Dumbledore stated, "Mr. Snape's guardianship will be assigned to the Evans family until a time he is deemed able to return home."

Behind Severus, the Evans family breathed sighs of relief, Lily letting out a little cheer and Severus felt a grin fight it's way to his mouth.

Umbridge, meanwhile, looked like she had just swallowed a nasty tasting fly, her face as sour as old milk.

The Wizengamot was dismissed and filed out of the room one by one. As they left, Umbridge hurried to the Minister's side, whispering furiously to him, most likely trying to talk him out of the ruling.

When everyone but Dumbledore, Severus, and his group were gone, Severus turned to Lily with a big grin.

Lily was positively beaming at him. Leaping from her seat, she rushed forward and flung her arms around him.

"You get to stay," she declared happily, "I told you things would get better if you just let us help."

For once in his life, Severus was actually glad someone proved him wrong.

Hank lightly clapped Severus on the back, "Welcome to the family, my boy."

Willow came over and kissed Severus on the cheek, "We're so glad things turned out for the best," turning to Ashwin, she smiled, "Thank you, Mr. Serapeum."

The hearing over, Ashwin was back to his jolly, happy self.

"Think nothing of it," Ashwin said, removing his hat to reveal a shiny bald head, the hair merely a wig attached to his hat. He gave a sweeping bow, "It was my pleasure."

"Things went exactly as I predicted," Wrence said proudly as he approached, "I told you that you were worried for nothing."

"Yes, how foolish of us to be worried about what an indecisive and unpredictable group of old farts might decide on the fate of a defenseless teenager," Parish said sarcastically, coming to stand next to Wrence, "Truly we should always put our faith in you."

Wrence sniffed, "Some of us have the utmost confidence in our abilities. I have a perfect record; I doubt you can boast the same." He turned on a heel and left.

Parish glared after him as he left. Waving to the Evanses and Severus, she wished the boy a fond congratulations and left as well, needed back at work.

With the distractions gone, Lily turned back to Severus, holding his hands in hers, "I'm so happy, Sev. You're safe, at long last." She pulled him into her arms once more and hugged him tightly.

Petunia stood besides them, her arms crossed, "I guess I will have to get used to a boy living under our roof," she said, trying to act aloof.

"As if it will be that bad, Tuney," Lily teased, still wrapped around Severus.

"Well...Mr. Snape, I suppose congratulations are in order," came a cold voice from behind them all.

Abraxas Malfoy strode up to the group, his emerald topped cane echoing a loud clack across the floor with every step.

"It truly is a pity though," he said, "My son was most...eager to see you."

Hank and Willow stood protectively by their family, regarding the man before them suspiciously, "Yes, well Severus will be quite fine in our care," said Hank.

"Yes, thank you for your concern, but he'll be fine," added Willow.

Abraxas looked down his nose at the pair, "I see," he said coldly, "well Severus, if you ever are in need of...more appropriate accommodations, you know who to contact."

He turned to Ashwin, "Lord Serapeum."

Ashwin nodded his head minutely, "Lord Malfoy."

Abraxas turned and left with his head high, his robes swishing behind him dramatically.

Dumbledore came down from the rows of chairs and approached the happy group, "I'd say things turned out for the best, wouldn't you?"

"Better than they could have gone," Severus replied, "Abraxas wasn't acting on his own, nor on Lucius' behalf. You know this."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, it would seem You-Know-Who is trying to make contact with you. For what reason is yet to be seen."

"He's mad I turned my back on him," Severus said, "I put two of his recruits in ministry custody."

"That very well may be," Dumbledore agreed, "I believe we must be very cautious for now. That aside...I'd say you have a very pleasant summer ahead of you." He gestured to the Evanses, where Lily was excitedly talking with her mother.

Severus allowed himself a small smile, "Yes...I believe I do."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, Severus can stay with the Evanses.
> 
> I hope no one minded that Tobias was not brought to trial. Considering that the Ministry doesn't seem to have any legal powers over muggles, the whole arrest of him and conviction had to be done under the table and without much fanfare through muggle law, with some behind the scenes help from magic to unsure he was convicted.
> 
> We have now met Ashwin, Simone's father. I had fun creating him and his eccentric appearance. I pictured a portly, jolly man of above average height for the former hufflepuff. You will all meet his wife eventually.
> 
> Read and review! :) All your wonderful reviews have really brightened my spirits lately. <3


	17. The Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus learns to enjoy the little pleasures in life, now that he actually has them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great to be back folks!
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely reviews. They were wonderful as always. I looked forward to your feedback each and every week.
> 
> After the heaviness of the last chapter, I figured we could do with some cheer, so here it is! Enjoy

* * *

 

Severus woke with the sun as he did every morning, never failing to beat his alarm clock. He didn't know if it was just his internal clock that woke him or the sound of the birds chirping outside that did it, but he always woke up with about fifteen minutes to spare.

Typically those fifteen minutes were spent lazing in bed, relishing the feel of a soft mattress beneath him instead of loose springs stabbing him in the back, of fresh smelling linen's to embrace him instead of threadbare blankets stolen from a neighbor's trash can. He enjoyed the sight of blue skies outside his window with ivy scaling the sides of the house, thankful he no longer stare out grim caked windowpanes at a dead tree with its branches looming dangerously close to piercing the glass. Even the sight of a ceiling without cracks in the plaster or spider webs in the corners was a welcome change.

A quiet sigh by his shoulder reminded him of another gift he was lucky to enjoy every morning, turning his head to gaze down upon the beauty nestled at his side.

Ever since the she first requested it, Lily returned night after night to sleep beside Severus. As soon as everyone had tucked into bed, things got quiet, and the house was still, Lily would creep out of her room and covertly sneak into Severus's bed to snuggle up with him. She would tiptoe across the floor and lightly tap Severus shoulder, a soft smile playing on her face as he would make room for her.

Lily thought Severus was asleep most nights when she would come knocking, but in truth, Severus would lie awake at night waiting for the sound of her door creaking open and her soft steps down the hall.

At first, the pair would simply lie side by side, maybe facing each other, maybe one facing away. But as days turned into weeks, the routine gradually shifted. Severus would wrap his arm around Lily and draw her close. Then Lily started to slip her arms around Severus in her sleep as if he were a big teddy bear, one arm around his neck, the other over his waist. Soon Severus began curling around Lily, squeezing her to him so tight. Eventually, Lily took to throwing her leg over Severus' hip and so became their routine. It became second nature for the two of them to intertwine, Lily's head tucked up under Sev's chin, his nose buried in her hair, pressed against one another from head to knee.

Lily cuddled against Severus as he watched her, the girl's eyes fluttering under her lids and a peaceful expression gracing her face. She sighed yet again in contentment, stretching slightly in her sleep and nuzzling closer. Her fingers behind's Severus had twitched occasionally and her other hand gripped his nightshirt the way a child would her favorite blanket.

Severus cherished these moments before Lily would wake. It was the rare occasion he had her all to himself. In her waking moments, Lily was headstrong, quick witted and concerned for everyone and everything. She possessed a fierce determination and pride that warred with her stubbornness and steadfast ideals. Asleep she was angelic, almost ethereal in a way, slumber melting down any worry that may crease her face, easing the tension away to a pristine, smooth canvas of skin, as if someone had sculpted her with the finest precision. No one else saw this side of Lily; not her friends, not her family, not strangers on the street, and certainly—though Severus was ashamed of the tiny, childish part of himself that crooned in victory—not James Potter.

Immature as it was, Severus couldn't help but gloat to himself that Potter had never managed to get this close to Lily, no matter how hard he had tried. A part of Severus wonder what Potter's reaction would be if he could see Lily now, wrapped in Severus's arms.

Of course, it was a silly thought; one selfish and born of boyish competition, Severus chided himself. Lily had come to him in a time of need and wanted comfort, security. To turn something so innocent into another tally mark in the battle against Potter would be beyond insensitive. After all, she had been the victim of someone treating her like a goal, a prize or trophy only too recently that summer. Lily had made it clear; romance was the last thing on her mind after all that.

Lily was no prize to be won and certainly, no object to miserly covet in greed. Severus wasn't in love with an object, but a person, a living breathing person who listened to him, whose eyes lit up when she discovered something new, whose smile warmed the depths of his heart when she put all her focus on him. She would never stand for him treating their time together like some triumph in a petty rivalry. She was an independent girl—a woman now—one that made her own choices and would not stand to hear others decide her fate for her. No, she was not a prize for him or Potter.

Lily muttered something in her sleep, grumbling nonsensically. Severus made out a word or two of a colorful dream, something about 'Baked apples' and 'Mr. Turkey'. He tried not to laugh, but couldn't help letting out a chuckle, biting his lip to keep silent as Lily's brow furrowed. Grumbling again, Lily flopped over onto her side, leg tossed carelessly over Severus's hip as she wiggled to get closer.

Suddenly Severus was biting his lip for a different reason.

This was the one issue with their little arrangement. As innocent as Lily's nightly visits were, there was one little factor that tainted that innocence. Severus was a hot-blooded, abled-bodied young man, one with hormones and urges and desires he couldn't ignore. While he could control his actions, that didn't mean he could control his thoughts, and his mind did wander often with Lily pressed so close to him.

Lily squirmed again, and Severus bit back a groan. Clearly, Lily had no idea what she did to him.

Times like these, Severus couldn't help but feel guilty. Lily had been through a traumatic experience, the very reason she could no longer sleep alone, and here he was fighting back hormonal teenage urges. Last thing Lily needed was to wake up to… _that_  poking her. She'd probably be mortified. Maybe even afraid of him.

That really worried Severus. Never would he want Lily to look at him with the fear in her eyes that she had for Avery. How would she react to knowing Severus had some less than wholesome fantasies on him mind every now and then? She didn't need her best friend lusting over her.

Lily let out a quite moan in her sleep, causing Severus to curse his treacherous body as his blood rushed south.

' _Think of something, anything,'_ Severus thought frantically,  _'Dumbledore doing a strip tease…McGonagall bursting out of a cake at a stag party…that…that Umbridge woman in a thong!...that did it…'_

Severus breathed a sigh of relief, as his morning 'problem' died a horrible death, though he did worry if he may have left himself impotent for life with that awful image.

It was all for the best, he supposed, as his alarm clock chose that moment to go off.

Lily shifted again, rolling slightly on her back and pulling away from Severus. Stretching her arms out—and nearly smacking Severus in the nose—she opened her eyes a fraction. Her gaze falling on Severus, she smiled sleepily at him, let out a hum.

"G'morning," she mumbled.

"Morning," Severus greeted, propping himself up on an elbow.

Lily sat up, rubbing sleep from her eyes, "Have you been up long?" she asked with a yawn.

"Just a minute or two," Severus lied as he did every morning, "Time for you to head back, isn't it?"

Lily flopped on her back with a groan, "Ugh, I don't want to move," she whined, tugging the blankets up to her chin, "I'm so comfy right now."

"If you don't hurry, your parents might see you leaving," Severus reminded her.

Lily pouted up at him.

"Or Petunia might catch you," Severus added.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine," she relented, "Tuney would never let me live it down." Just because Petunia had mellowed out about magic, it didn't mean she had lightened up at all with her rules about proper etiquette or manners. Sneaking out of a boy's room would send her through the roof.

Wriggling out of bed, Lily gave Severus a quick hug before creeping to the door. Listening for any sound on the other side, she flashed Severus a thumbs up, letting him know it was all clear. Opening the door just enough to slip out; she scurried back to her room.

Severus sighed deeply. Getting out of bed, he stretched languidly before heading into the hall, grabbing his bathrobe off the back of his door as he passed. Having three women in the house with miles of long, back length hair, it was always a good idea to shower first thing in the morning, before anyone else woke up.

Since moving into with Lily's family, showers had become a luxury Severus enjoyed daily, as was brushing his teeth. Back home, there was never much hot water and cleaning products were in a bare minimum, and toothpaste rarely bought. Tobias saw such things as frivolous and insisted on them buying cheap bars of soap to use on both their body and hair. It left the skin dry and itchy and the hair limp and greasy, but as far as Tobias was concerned, it got the job done.

"You're just need to rinse off dirt, not smell like a poofter," Tobias would say.

Severus turned on the shower and undressed. While he waited for the water to heat up, he looked around the bathroom. It was a nice place, with coral-colored walls and white flower tiled floors. Matching fancy towels that they never used hung on a rack, flowers embroidered on them, a petunia on one and a lily on the other. The shower curtain had a lavender cloth outside pulled back while a plastic white curtain hung down for privacy.

Severus looked at the sink and smiled. Lined up on the counter were the Evanses toothbrushes; red for Hank, yellow for Willow, purple for Petunia, and green for Lily. At the end of the line was a dark blue toothbrush, Severus new toothbrush. And in the shower on one of the two little built in shelves, there was a set of shampoos and soaps Willow picked out especially for him, placed right next to Hank's things.

At school Severus took showers only rarely. Even within the privacy of his dorm's bathroom, Severus had to be wary of letting his guard down. A halfblood with pureblood allies was still a halfblood and even if he wasn't attacked in the dorm, that didn't mean there wouldn't be a nasty little prank waiting for him if he wasn't careful. On more than one occasion, people had stolen his robes, forcing him to leave the shower naked.

Once steam began fogging up the mirror, Severus stepped into the shower. Standing under the hot spray, he just luxuriated in the blissful sensation for a moment. Picking up his body wash, he poured a dollop into his hand and allowed the warm scent of cinnamon and nutmeg wash over him.

He could get used to this.

 

{page break}

 

By the time Severus was clean and wearing fresh clothes, breakfast was already in the making. Petunia bustled about the kitchen humming to herself while she made cheese quiches that would make any gourmet chef green with envy. Always trying to outdo herself, Petunia took pride in preparing staggeringly opulent meals for the family to try. Originally preparing meals was a chore assigned to the girls that rotated weekly, but Petunia had soon taken over the task completely, finding joy in cooking and cleaning.

Severus supposed it had to do with her desire to be the perfect housewife; classy, sophisticated and skilled around the house in ways that others were lacking. Being around Simone and witnesses a reserved, dignified lifestyle of garden parties and afternoon teas must have appealed greatly to her; he could see why the pair became friends. Petunia was enthusiastic to learn from the house elves at the Serapeum estate. Trained from young ages to serve wizards to the utmost perfection, Minks and the other elves knew all kinds of confectionary tricks and cooking methods that Petunia lapped up eagerly during her visits.

When Severus thought about it, even if Petunia had been born with magic, she would likely still have chosen a life of housework and gardening over potion brewing or dragon taming. She enjoyed the simple, the orderly. Managing a household gave her joy the way only magic did for Severus. If she were a part of the wizard world, she would be content as a very proper housewife, governing a household and raising children.

"Did you wash your hands?" Petunia asked as Severus passed her in the kitchen on his way to the breakfast nook.

"I just got out of the shower," Severus answered.

"That's not what I asked," Petunia said primly. She pointed the spatula to the sink, "Wash your hands."

Severus sighed; Petunia was  _definitely_  destined to be a mother.

As Severus washed up, a red blur blew into the kitchen, snagging an apple it passed.

"Uh-uh-uh!" Petunia tutted, catching her sister by the arm. She plucked the apple from her sister's mouth and put it on the counter.

"You'll spoil your appetite," Petunia scolded. She pointed Lily towards the sink, "Breakfast is almost ready. Wash up."

"Yes, Mom," Lily said sarcastically, stomping to the sink.

Petunia sniffed at them and turned back to the fruit she was chopping up.

Severus smirked as Lily sidled up next to him.

Lily snickered and shoved Severus lightly with her shoulder, submerging her hands in the soapy water, "She got you to, huh?"

"She always does," Severus replied.

"Do you two want any tea?" Petunia called from the counter.

"I do," Lily answered.

"Coffee, please," Severus said.

"You're too young for it," Petunia said without looking at him, same response as every morning.

Severus rolled his eyes, "I think I'm old enough."

"You're not an adult, yet," Petunia reminded him, placing the quiches on individual plates.

"I'm old enough to put up with you," Severus muttered under his breath, causing Lily to giggle.

"Be nice," Lily chided, bumping shoulders with Severus.

Severus grinned. "Make me," he challenged, drying his hands off.

Lily flicked water at him.

"I saw that," Petunia scolded, "don't go making a mess of the kitchen."

Severus's grin widen as Lily pouted and stuck her tongue out at her sister's back.

'You wait…' Lily mouthed at Severus.

Severus raised a brow, 'Bring it on,' his eyes said.

Petunia assembled the food on the plates and hung up her apron.

"Head out to the table, now," she said. She poured Lily a cup of tea and sent her sister on her way, "Food will be out there in a minute." She laden a tray up with three plates and set about pouring some juice.

At the table, Hank was reclined leisurely back in his chair with the morning paper, perusing the police reports and wedding announcements for the secret thrill of seeing if it was anyone he knew. Willow sat with a cup of coffee filling out the crossword section while simultaneously puzzling out a word scramble.

"Good morning, you two," Hank greeted from over his paper.

"Morning dad," Lily said, kissing her parents each on the cheek, "Morning mum."

"Good morning Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans," Severus said formally.

Willow sighed good naturedly, "Good morning, Severus. Did you sleep alright?"

Severus nodded, shooting Lily a discreet look, "Quite well, thank you."

Petunia bustled into the room with a tray heaped with food.

"Chair legs on the floor, daddy," Petunia reminded her father, stepping on the chair rung and being the front legs of her father's seat back to the ground.

Hank had the grace to look properly scolded and muttered an apology, disappearing behind his paper.

With the skill of a veteran server, Petunia balanced the tray on one hand and set down the plates from it with the other hand, "Cheese quiche with assorted fruit cups, blood sausage, and apple turnovers. Enjoy."

"Petunia, you've outdone yourself," Hank praised, folding away his paper, "This looks marvelous!"

Petunia beamed with pride.

Willow waved everyone to his or her seats, "Sit down, sit down. We wouldn't want this fine meal to go cold, now would we?"

Lily slipped into the seat next to her father with Severus coming to sit on her other side, right next to Willow. As Severus sat down, Willow poured him a cup of coffee and slid him the cream, unaware of her eldest daughter's disapproving stare or Severus's shit-eating grin. Since staying with Lily's family, Severus grew quite amused with the silly routine. Willow remained completely unaware it was even a subject of debate between Severus and Petunia; she simply gave him coffee because it was what he was accustom to at home.

Severus took on an air of nonchalance, maintaining eye contact with Petunia as he slowly brought the coffee cup to his lips and took a sip. Savoring the bitter taste, he licked his lips and let out a small 'ah' as he put the cup down, trying to keep a blank, innocent face.

Petunia just huffed and shook her head, "Git," she mouthed.

"So, girls, Severus, what do you all have planned for today?" Hank asked, cutting up his sausage.

"I was thinking of going to that new café on Main Street and seeing if they were hiring," Petunia offered up, "Then I thought I would finish up on that skirt I've been hemming."

"What a lovely idea," Willow praised, "what are you hoping to apply for, dear?"

Petunia shrugged, "Waitressing, probably. Just so that I can have a bit of spare change for myself. I don't want Simone and Thea to be forced to pay for everything whenever I visit."

"You should apply for a cooking position," Severus suggested between bites of quiche, quickly devouring the tasty morsel.

Lily nodded enthusiastically, "He's right, Tuney! Your cooking is incredible. They would have to be barmy to not want you cooking for them."

Petunia blushed, looking down at her plate, "I have a few more years at Uni before I'm qualified as a chef."

"Stick to your guns and it won't be long before that school gives you a scholarship to one of the finest culinary colleges in France," Hank said proudly, "Just imagine it, our daughter in Paris!"

Petunia smiled inwardly to herself; the appreciation was nice.

Severus hid a grin. Something about meeting Simone and Thea had brought out an entirely new side to Petunia. A warmer, more vibrant side that had a contagious positivity to it. It allowed her parents to see her in a new light and suddenly, everything their once cross daughter said and did seemed fascinating and interesting. The way Petunia seemed to glow instead of withdraw from the world drew people near her now and made her the life of the party. Now more than ever, one could see the similarities between the Evans daughters; both light up a room with a laugh and a smile.

"What about you two?" Willow asked, taking a bite of some fruit, "any plans today?"

Lily thought about it, "Well I know Severus is all done with his summer coursework, but I still have Ancient Runes to finish. After that I might take a walk around the park and pick wildflowers." She turned to her friend, "Sev, do you want to join me?"

Severus swallowed a mouthful of turnover and took a sip of coffee before answering, "Can't say I want to pick flowers, but a walk would be nice. Maybe I can find some potions ingredients growing in the field."

Lily rolled her eyes and playfully nudged him, "Of course you're thinking about potions. Well as long as you come along, I'm happy."

"It sounds like you all have a nice day planned out," Willow observed, "I'll be teaching piano to the Winthrop girl at noon. Then I have to go to market."

Hank wiped some crumbs from his mustache, "Yes, and I have one class to teach today."

"People really go to school during the summer, daddy?" Lily asked, amused.

"Yes, it is a perfect time to fit in extra courses you had no room for during fall or spring semesters," Hank explained.

"Surprised you haven't tried to do that," Lily teased Severus.

Severus took a long gulp of coffee. Dabbing at his mouth with his napkin, he meticulously cut up his sausage into equal sized pieces.

Looking at Lily, he gave her a wry smile, "I asked; Hogwarts doesn't offer summer sessions."

Everyone at the table laughed.

As everyone was finishing up breakfast there was a tapping at the window.

"Morning mail's here," Petunia said excitedly. Getting up from the table, she opened the window and a little Morning Dove landed on her outstretched hand, a small letter clasped in its beak.

"Thank you Dewdrop," Petunia said, taking the letter from the bird.

Close behind the dove, a large, tawny brown owl swooped up onto the windowsill. It dropped the letter in its beak and hooted softly.

Petunia gave the owl wide breadth as she reached for the letter.

"Thank you…," she said nervously. While Petunia was adapting well to the magical world, owls were a bit too intimidating for her to get used to with their large sharp beaks and stern eyes. It was why Simone sent her mother's Morning Dove to deliver letters whenever possible.

Dewdrop hopped down from Petunia's hand and onto the sill next to the owl, both birds taking little sips from the water dish placed there and savoring a few treats left out in a cup by Lily.

Petunia examined the letter from the owl, "This one is to you, Lily."

"Oh," taking the letter, Lily flipped it over and studied the writing.

"It's from Remus," she said, breaking the seal.

"What's it say, dear?" Willow asked politely.

Lily browsed through the contents of the letter, "It says here that Remus would like me to come visit sometime this month. After the full moon…because he's busy before that," she added hastily to her parents.

"Yeah, busy," Severus snorted.

Lily stamped on his foot, "Be nice."

"That sounds lovely, sweetie," Willow said, "When do you suppose you'll go?"

Lily frowned down at the letter, "I'm not sure…I mean, I may be busy this summer, what with visiting Mary and getting school work done. Plus Severus and Remus don't exactly get along and I would hate to have to leave Sev alone."

"You don't have to stay here on my account," Severus told Lily. Though he wasn't thrilled at the prospect of her spending time with that wolf, he wasn't going to resort to old behavior and horde her away for himself, "A day by myself won't kill me."

"Still…I'm going to be awful busy…I may have to think about it," Lily said hesitantly.

Severus cocked an eye at her, giving Lily an odd look.

' _What's up with you?'_  he questioned with his eyes.

Lily caught his look and shook her head before looking down at her plate.

"Ooh!" Petunia squealed, calling everyone's attention to herself, "Simone says her folks are heading off to Rome for the weekend and that I am welcome to stay with her and Thea while they're gone."

"That's wonderful, dear," Hank said, "I must say, Simone's folks sound like lovely people. Her father was certainly nice. Now, what are Thea's parents like? I don't believe we've met them yet."

Petunia paused thoughtfully, "You know, I don't think I've ever met them either. Thea doesn't really talk about them much…strange." She shrugged and went back to babbling with her mother about what outfits she should bring.

After breakfast, Lily dragged Severus upstairs to help her with her Runes. Sitting together against the headboard of her bed, Lily had Severus quiz her on what each Rune meant while they snacked on a bag of crisps. A Beatles record played in the background from the record player by her desk.

"Remus letter included another missive from James," Lily admitted about thirty minutes into their study session.

Severus raised a brow, "Oh?"

"Yeah…he wants to know why I haven't written him back," Lily told her friend.

Severus turned to look at Lily, "Are you going to write him back?"

Lily shrugged, "To be honest, I'd rather not. I don't want to give him the wrong impression."

"And what wrong impression is that?" Severus asked.

"That I am encouraging him," Lily replied. Closing her Runes notebook, she spread out on the bed, stretching her arms over her head, "I don't know…I guess I am sort of flattered that he likes me so much…and he can be rather charming sometimes, when he isn't being a git and all. Honestly, there's a part of me that sort of likes him, but…"

"But?" Severus prodded, his heart beating painfully loud in his ears. He always suspected Lily had some feelings for Potter, but hearing her say it allowed was like carving a gaping hole in his chest.

"But I don't think it would ever work out," Lily confessed finally, "Sure we have some similar interests and we get along when he isn't causing trouble…we actually have had some fun in each other's presence before and its…nice. But, there's one thing that can't work."

Severus held his breath.

"It's you," Lily said, turning to look at Severus, "You two will never get along and frankly after all I have learned this year, I don't blame you for that. But James, he would never 'make nice' with you and I'm sure he would always be waiting for me to change my mind and end our friendship for good. He'd probably pick at every little thing you do, just waiting for the moment he can sneak in and push you out of my life…and I don't want you out of my life, Sev."

Severus stared at Lily, his eyes wide.

Lily smiled sadly, "You've been there through every important moment in my life and I…I honestly can't see myself moving forward without you. It's just too painful. Just a week or two without you hurt more than anything I ever thought could. Dating James isn't worth losing you."

Severus was speechless.

"I.." he stammered, "I-I don't want you to feel like you can't date because of m-me, Lily," he offered feebly.

Lily laughed, "It's no big deal, Sev. It's just a little crush if anything. I mean, so I think he's cute, that doesn't mean I would overlook everything else. He's not the one for me. Someday I'll find the one, but I don't think it's going to be James Potter." She rolled onto her side and poked Severus playfully, "It's some silly little attraction; I'll get over it."

Severus didn't want to show it, but inside he was crowing with victory.  _'I'm more important!'_ he thought, his mind racing,  _'Take_ _ **that**_ _, Potter!'_

"I wouldn't want to lose you either, Lily," Severus said, "You're the most important person in my life."

Lily smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners, "I'm glad. I was worried Simone had replaced me."

Severus snorted, "Fat chance of that happening."

Lily giggled, "She's not that bad."

"She's insufferable," Severus insisted.

Lily giggled louder.

"So is that why you don't want to visit Lupin?" Severus asked, "Because Potter might be there?"

Lily looked away, askance, "Not really. It's complicated."

Severus cocked his head, "What is it?"

Lily sighed, sitting up and resting her arms on her knees, "Well it's like this: Remus is nice, right? But he's also a boy, you know? And well…I just don't know if I feel comfortable alone with him."

Now Severus was confused, "Why? Outside of the full moon, Lupin is harmless. Useless, but harmless."

"Be nice," Lily scolded, "I don't know…it's sort of like…things feel weird with guys now, you know?"

Severus shook his head, "Not really."

Lily groaned, "Okay it's like…I thought I knew Avery, right? I mean, I didn't  _know him_ , know him, but I at least thought I knew him well enough that he wouldn't try something like…that. I didn't think anyone would. But he did…and now guys just sort of feel like this big unknown to me somehow…I mean, I  _know_  I can trust Remus, but still there's this part of me that just…doesn't want to risk it." She slumped forward, "It's not just Remus; I don't think I want to be around any guy at school."

"But you're around me all the time," Severus pointed out.

"That's different," Lily insisted, "With you I just…know I'm safe. Like, you'd never do that to me and I feel it with every fiber of my being. I don't know, maybe it's because you saved me, but I don't look at you and think…you're this unpredictable…something, you know?"

Severus shook his head, perplexed, "I…"

Lily groaned, burying her face in her arms, "I told you it was complicated. I don't even want to think how it is going to be being in the same room as Avery for the trial."

Severus put a hand under Lily's chin, lifting her head so she would look at him, "Lily, it's okay to be a little wary after what you went through. You can get through this."

"You think so?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Of course," Severus assured, "You said it was understandable for me to be cautious around muggles after dealing with my father, didn't you?"

Lily nodded, "That's because what he did to you was terrible. It would make anyone nervous."

"What you went through was just as bad, if not worse," Severus pointed out, "And if you think there is hope for me, then there is hope for you. But until then, it is perfectly fine if you want some time apart from boys for a while. No one is going to force you. I'm certainly not."

Lily leaned her head on Severus's shoulder, "Thanks, Sev. That means a lot to me. I just don't know what I'm going to do."

"Neither of us do, Lily," Severus admitted, "and that's okay. We don't have to have the answer to everything."

"But not having the answer must be driving you crazy," Lily teased halfheartedly.

Severus gave a put upon sigh, "I suppose it does put me out of my element."

Lily giggled, "Thanks, Sev."

Severus blinked, "For what?"

Lily shrugged, "For everything, I guess. You've been a real help to me. This wasn't exactly something I wanted to check off my list of life experiences, but I'm glad I have you here for me to help me get through it."

Severus rested his head on top of Lily's, "You know, I think it helps to have you here for me too. Who knows how things would have turned out if I didn't have you? I…I might have made some pretty bad choices, I think."

"You don't know that, Sev," Lily reasoned.

"No, I do," Severus reaffirmed, "Lily, I was heading down a very dark path. I wanted to. I was mad and so obsessed with getting even with people. I had stopped caring about how it might affect others and was hung up on myself. I think if things hadn't gone the way they did, I might have become completely wrapped up in my own victim complex. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have escaped my father; I wouldn't have broken away from Avery and his friends." He looked down at Lily, "I know I don't say this enough, but I'm very lucky to have you in my life, Lily."

Lily flushed under Severus's intense gaze, "Come on, you're making it sound like I'm so much better than I am."

"You're much better than you realize," Severus stated factually.

Lily tilted her head and gazed at Severus, "I have probably said this so many times now, but I'm really," she pressed their foreheads together, " _really_  glad we made up."

Severus closed his eyes and smiled, "Me too."

Lily pulled away, "What's say we finish my homework down by our spot?"

Severus's smile broaden, "Nothing would make me happier."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down, many more to go.
> 
> I decided to touch upon my feelings over the Lily/James pairing in this chapter.
> 
> The one thing I always had against their relationship is that Lily essentially throws away all the knowledge what James had done out the window because he "matured"...which he hadn't since he actually was just hiding his harassment of Snape from then on. I know people can change and people can grow up, but frankly there is a difference between letting go of the past and saying "fuck what you did to my friend; you're hot and we should date!". It seems like the ultimate betrayal on Lily's part. Yes, I know you can't help who you have feelings for, but it just feels like any justification Lily could have come up with would fall flat considering how much pain Potter caused Snape. She is basically saying that how ever much she once cared for Snape was a lie by dating and marrying the one person who so utterly destroyed his self esteem and self worth on a regular basis. It would be like me hooking up with the guy who nearly drove my friend to suicide (long story) because he 'changed' later on; his new personality doesn't change the impact he had on my friend's life. Lily no longer being friends with Snape should not mean she should disregard all he suffered and went through.
> 
> Okay, rant over.
> 
> Read and review, my lovelies!


	18. Strange Developments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily begins to notice some usual quirks in Severus...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's good to be back again.
> 
> I would like to start off this chapter with a warning that it will be covering some PTSD content, at the very least some behaviors brought on by it. So...trigger warning, I guess *shrug*
> 
> Writing about PTSD is tricky, mainly because it is a tough subject for me due to personal reasons. I had to draw from both mine and my mother's experiences dealing with it.
> 
> Well now that you have been prepared, let's move on :)

* * *

Something wasn't right, of that Lily was certain.

It was the small things at first, a twitch of the hand, a jerk of the shoulder. Certain things Severus did should have been innocent or innocuous enough, but they always felt a little unusual or out of place.

No one else in the house seemed to notice, but Severus would stand a little straighter if someone suddenly raised his or her voice. They could be gathered in the living room, reading while Lily's father watched the news and then her dad would laugh loudly at something the weatherman said, boisterously mocking the man's weather prediction, and Severus would sit an inch or two higher on the love seat. One time, Lily and Severus were relaxing in the garden and Petunia had come out to tell them dinner was ready; when her yell broke the silence, Severus was like a deer in headlights.

There were other odd things. While Lily had never paid much attention to Severus hands growing up—he was always busying himself in a flurry of motion over potions or something else—now she couldn't help but take note of the tore and ripped skin around the nails, as if he was chewing away at is fingers.

When Severus accidentally dropped a cup and it spilled tea on the floor, by the time Lily came running, tripping over furniture in her haste and making an awful clatter, Severus was clear on the other side of the room away from the spill standing rigid as a statue.

One time Lil's mom broke a plate and Severus, who had been with Lily in the foyer, nearly dropped the groceries they were carrying as he went stock still, eyes trained on the kitchen.

Lily would like to say Severus just didn't like loud noises after growing up in a house where everyone yelled, but Severus wasn't bothered by the most usual or rambunctious clamor. If Lily's parents were watching the game and everyone was shouting at the referee, Severus would be sitting in the corner reading, rolling his eyes and smiling to himself at their antics. If a discussion got particularly heated at dinner, Severus would gladly take a side and join in the noisy debate.

He wasn't even bothered by the fights Lily and Petunia still occasionally got into, yelling and shrieking at each other or the most silly, sisterly thing. He'd simply do what their father did; raise his hands in the air and walk away, letting the women 'sort it out'.

No, Severus didn't hate the noise, if anything he was quite used to it from all the hustle and bustle at Hogwarts. A school full of children was nothing but noise; it never bothered Severus then.

But…there were some incidences.

Once in Divination in their third year, they had been crystal gazing at the professor's instruction. Everyone staring listlessly into their glass orbs, the class had fallen into a near comatose stupor or silence. Some had even fallen asleep in their seats.

The meditative quiet was broken by one loud, unexpected bang from the back of the class.

Sirius had apparently thought it quiet humorous to transfigure his crystal ball into a balloon and pop it. The classroom being nothing but a stone tower served as the perfect acoustical environment to make the pop as loud and echoing as possible.

Most of the class had jumped; a few of the girls had screamed, Lily included. But Severus…Severus had not made the slightest sound. Instead, he went deathly quiet, face paler and blank. The only real action he made was to jump straight out of his seat and stand there, as if waiting for something.

Being the only one to get up, Severus became the target of Sirius taunting for the rest of class, accusations being thrown that he had been so scared he tried to run away. By the end of the day, the whole school was talking about the greasy little third year Slytherin who ran away from a balloon.

Severus had a thing about certain movements too. You'd think someone who was hit a lot would cower at every little thing, like a dog that was kicked too much. But Lily had witnessed Severus get slaps on the back from Slytherin's bigger and rougher than him without the slightest flinch, be pushed by Potter and not bat an eye—well except to snarl at him, which was to be expected. But people roughing him up seemed to barely dent his carefully constructed wall of indifference.

Yet, when they sat alone together, dozing off in the sunlight, he'd jump if Lily put her head on his shoulder. She saw him flinch when Simone once rushed forward and hugged him in jest. You couldn't come up to him and tap him on the shoulder, even if you announced yourself first, without him whirling around like he'd been shocked.

There was something about breaking the stillness, interrupting the deafening quiet he enjoyed, that put Severus on edge and frankly, it was baffling to Lily. Shouldn't  _all_  loud noise bother him if he grew up around screaming? Shouldn't  _any_  touch make him uncomfortable if it was a tad too hard?

"I just don't know what to make of it, Tuney," Lily told her sister one afternoon while Severus was helping her mother in the garden, "Should I owl Wrence?"

"I don't know, Lily, perhaps you should stay out of it," Petunia said, handing her sister another wet dish to dry and putting away, "I mean, if something is on his mind, shouldn't you let him come to you when he's ready."

"But what if he never is ready?" Lily asked, placing one of the plates down in the stack none to gently, "What if he keeps this to himself forever? Getting things out of him is like pulling teeth; you know that."

Petunia put her hand over Lily's still her movements, "Careful," she chided, "I get that you're frustrated, but that's no reason to take it out on the dishes. Now, let's say something is wrong and you aren't just imagining things: what would going behind his back and contacting someone accomplish?"

Lily thought about it, "…he'd probably get really mad at me."

Petunia stuck her hands back in the sudsy water, "Right. And then he might not trust you anymore, especially if it turns out you made a big deal out of nothing."

Lily bit her lip, "I don't want that…"

Petunia sighed, "Look, how about you try talking to him first? Ask if there is anything he wants to get off his chest. At least that way, you give him the choice to be honest with you instead of taking the choice from him and dragging someone else into this."

"But that never works," Lily insisted, "He'll just deny anything is wrong."

"Then don't word it like something's wrong," Petunia said, "Leave out the accusations; don't say 'you've been acting weird,' say 'here is how I feel'. Heaping this all on him and what  _he's_  doing is going to make him defensive. Lead with how  _you_  are feeling unsure, that you feel there is something  _you_  could do to help."

"That could work," Lily pondered. She tilted her head, "How'd you get to be so smart?"

Petunia shrugged, "Thea wants to be something called a Mind Healer when she graduates Hogwarts."

Lily wrinkled her nose, "A mind healer? What's that?"

Petunia took a moment to scrub Alfredo sauce off a fork before answering, "Like a doctor you or I would go to and talk about a bad event in our life."

Lily ignored the pointed look Petunia gave her.

Petunia continued as if nothing had happened, "Thea wants to work with those who have been affected by tragedy and help them move on with their lives. She told me that helping someone is all about giving them the control to help themselves. Most people just want to be heard and choose their own solution, not be talked at and told how to fix it. A lot of us have the answers and strength inside ourselves, we just need to be given the chance to drag it out from where bad thoughts and trauma hid it away."

"That's beautiful, Tuney," Lily said admiringly.

Petunia shrugged again, "Thea's words, not mine. Anyway, I'd definitely try talking with him. Maybe he wouldn't mind sharing with you for once."

"I guess I could try," Lily agreed.

Petunia smiled, satisfied. Handing Lily the final dish, she rinsed off her hands, "Just be patient."

"You know, this time last year I had all but given up hope that you and me would ever act like," Lily paused, waving her hands in a searching manner, "well...like sisters. The fact that I am standing her with you now, coming to you for advice is nothing I ever thought possible. It's hard to believe that having magical friends was all it would take to fix things between us."

"Well it's not so simple," Petunia pointed out, "This isn't like meeting your friends and hitting it off with them. I wanted my own friends; I think that made the difference. They're mine, not just people I know through you while they're actually your friends."

Lily nodded, "I suppose that makes sense. You wanted people you could experience magic with that weren't there just because of me."

"There's more to it than that," Petunia admitted, "Yes, it is nice to be a part of the magical world, but I mean, just knowing about it didn't exactly change that I wasn't magical. It was hard for me to deal with all those years; like something extraordinary had passed me by." She looked at Lily, a sad smile on her face, "I didn't want to be a spectator to your adventure, Lily. I wanted my own adventure and for a long time I honestly thought I couldn't have one."

"What changed?" Lily inquired.

With an absolutely beaming smile, Petunia reached into the neck of her shirt. Grasping onto a delicate, golden chain, she pulled out a necklace with a small vial hanging on it.

"Simone taught me how to brew," Petunia said proudly, "Turns out not all potions require wands during brewing. It's a simple cheer potion," Petunia explained, tapping the vial. A pretty sunflower yellow liquid glimmered inside it, "Simone said it is sort of like a liquid 'cheering charm', whatever that is...but I brewed it, Lily," Petunia's eyes were sparkling with delight and pride, "I did magic; that's what this is."

It might have been such a small and simple accomplishment, but seeing the joy in her sister's face made it all the more incredible to Lily.

 

{page break}

 

"So this is a muggle camera," Simone said, turning the device in her hands, "It looks a lot like a wizard one, if you ask me."

Thea leaned over Simone's shoulder to look at the camera, "Yes but turn it over; there's all these extra parts inside. I think that's how it processes film manually instead of magically."

Petunia looked on fondly as her friends oohed and ahhed over the camera she'd brought.

Meanwhile, Severus was looking through a brochure, squinting at a poorly render map of the fairground's layout, "How do they expect anyone to read this thing? I can't tell one booth from another."

Lily took the map from his hands, "I think we want this booth here; I think this is the one selling the gemstone jewelry that mom was talking about." She traced her finger over the lines on the paper, "Let's see…we're here and the map says it's over…there by the pottery barn."

It had been a few days since that talk with Petunia in the kitchen and so far, Lily had yet to successfully talk with Severus about his odd behavior. She had been patient, she had been placating, but it had all been for naught. She tried casually asking Severus if there was anything on his mind, she tried explaining her feeling that something was off. She had even played up her own feelings of helplessness, hoping to coax him into giving her a glimpse into his head, but Severus had remained tight lipped. Every time, he simply told her things were fine and that she was reading too much into it.

Severus clearly wasn't comfortable talking about it. If anything, the more she pressed, the deeper he hid the truth from her. So no more questioning for now. Until Severus was ready, Lily could only stay by his side and wait.

"Now muggles call this a craft fair, yes?" Simone asked as they started to walk. Her and Thea had donned rather casual muggle wear for the day, wearing t-shirts and jeans at Petunia's suggestion. Oh course, the shirts bore sayings like 'Nifflers are nifty', but the muggles didn't seem to notice,"It's an awful lot like a traveler's caravan. Or a goblin marketplace."

"Plenty of aspiring artist make extra money by selling at fairs like these," Petunia explained, "It's a good way for them to get their work out there and maybe get noticed. If someone likes their work enough to invest in them, they could open their own store."

"You don't see many Purebloods pedaling in the streets back home," Simone stated, "Outside of traveler communities, if a wizard wants to make enchanted trinkets, they must get an apprenticeship, study with a master and then open up their own shop on a loan through Gringotts."

"Some Purebloods believe only beggars sell from the streets," Thea admitted sadly.

"A right shame too, since this is so much fun," Simone commented, paying for some fried dough with the muggle money she brought, "Try some Thea. I swear these things taste best when made by hand instead of magic!"

Thea tore off a piece for Petunia and the trio savored the delightful confection.

"A street fair, what a novel idea!" Simone said happily.

"I'm glad we chose such a good day for this," Lily said, linking arms with Severus as they walked.

Severus hummed in agreement, "There isn't a cloud in the sky. I guess we don't have to worry about being rained out."

"I'm really glad you agreed to come with me," Lily told Severus.

Severus shrugged, "It isn't my thing, but I didn't see any harm in me coming along anyway. As is, this gives me a chance to buy some crystals cheap, as the muggles don't realize their value here. How much farther to the booth?"

Lily looked down at the map, "Only a little bit more. You know Severus, I'm surprised you wanted to come out at all. Ever since the hearing I thought you would be weary of being unguarded with people like Malfoy possibly lurking about…I admit I almost didn't want to go out," Lily added quietly.

Severus pulled Lily a little closer, "We'll be fine in a group. And we've all got our wands. Plus your sister has a pretty mean swing with that purse of hers," he teased.

Lily laughed, "That's true."

"I heard that!" Petunia called after them while Simone and Thea laughed.

"It's not like you lot are own your own anyway," Simone threw in, "Look over there."

Not too far from where they were, a tall dark skinned man stood next to a metal working display. He was dressed plainly in a navy blue jacket and black jeans, a hat pulled low over his head.

"Dad told me about him," Simone whispered, "He's an Auror. Dumbledore must have folks in high places watching out for you."

"Of course," Severus sighed, "So we're fine. Monitored…but fine. Let's just try and enjoy our day."

Simone and Thea spent the afternoon snapping various pictures of booths and displays and art. Since the pictures would not be capable of movement, Simone had seen to it that as many snapshots were taken of them in ridiculous poses as possible to better 'capture the moment.'

There were shots of Lily and Thea standing next to an abstract art piece pretending they broke it and that it wasn't supposed to look like that. Severus was caught in a photo making faces at a mime—he demanded Simone destroy the camera and never develop that photo. Petunia and her two friends had a grand time posing with various statues around the area, Simone doing one shot of her jumping midair in front of a statue with its foot stuck out to make it look like it booted her clean off the ground.

"Are you feeling okay today, Sev?" Lily asked while Petunia was slipping the collar of her shirt into the hand of a pointing policeman statue so that it looked like she was being interrogated.

"I'm fine, Lily," Severus replied, "why do you ask?"

Lily took a moment to gather her thoughts, "Listen, I'm not going to pry anymore, but I want you to know that if there is ever anything you want about, I'll be here."

"I mean it," she added, grabbing Severus's chin and making him look at her, "You have been more than supportive of me and you have stood by me even as I work out my feelings on this whole...Avery thing. Even if you don't fully know what I'm going through, you have at least supported my decisions and wishes. I want to do the same for you. So if something bothers you; a sound, someone yelling I promise I will do whatever it takes to help you feel more comfortable."

Severus's gaze softened as he stared into Lily's pleading face. Pulling her hand away from his face, he held it in his own, "I appreciate that Lily. Really, I do." He looked around, making sure Simone and the others were occupied before pulling Lily a little off to the side.

"Listen," he began, "Nothing is wrong. I've just got a lot of things on my mind right now. It's a big adjustment; leaving home, my dad trying to...you know, kill me? I'm still sorting things out. I promise that if anything is wrong, I'll come to you. A lot of people are startled by loud noises, it's no big deal."

 _'Yeah, but no one reacts like you do,'_  is what Lily wanted to say, but instead she bite her tongue.

"If you say so," Lily said instead, "Just know that I'm here." She scratched at her arm absentmindedly, at a loss of what to do.

Severus graced her with a genuine smile, "Thanks. Same to you. You know, with this whole wariness around men...thing."

Lily sighed, "I really hoped that gets better before school starts."

The pair were soon after swept away by Petunia and Simone's enthusiasm as they dragged Severus, Lily, and Thea off to booth after booth. Plenty of tables set up at the fair featured demonstrations or 'do it yourself' interactive displays and the girl's were excited to try them all.

Simone roped Thea into making friendship bracelets with her and Petunia—and she even forced one on Severus; a red and gold one out of spite. Simone spent at least five minutes chasing her underclassman around the fairgrounds in order to fasten it on him. She triple knotted it too, so Severus was unable to pull it off.

Throughout the day, there were little hints of Severus and Lily's problems, but they tried to ignore it. Severus jumped nearly a foot in the air when a balloon popped; he almost struck a man that had grabbed him by the back of the shoulder to tell him he dropped a coin. A particularly enthusiastic street performer had reached out and tried to take Lily by the hand in the middle of a song and she had to resist throwing herself behind Sev for shelter. If the others noticed their behavior, they had the good grace not to bring it up. No doubt Petunia had spoken with Simone and Thea at length the past few weeks about Lily and Severus's struggles with their past. Instead Simone kept everyone distracted with booths and festivities.

All four girls had a blast at the gemstone booth. For a small fee they were able to make their own necklaces, guided by Thea's knowledge of the magical properties of gemstones. With her help, they picked out stones that suited their own needs. Thea made a keychain out of Obsidian that she sipped into her back pocket. Simone made a headpiece that hung down onto the forehead made with a Sugalite stone. Petunia made a head piece with a Citrine. Lily made a necklace with Lepidolite.

Severus purchased several quartz and rose quartz stones that he planned to add to the crystals he had at home, but Thea also insisted on him and Lily getting Garnet necklaces that would hang by their hearts.

"It'll help," she assured them.

They stopped off across the street at a sandwich shop for a quick bite to eat. Sitting around a table by the window, they chatted amicably about their purchases thus far and Simone regaled them with tales of her childhood, traveling to exotic places with her parents and seeing dragons. Petunia was very enthralled by it.

"Did you ride any of them?" she asked with wonder.

Simone laughed, shaking her head, "they're too dangerous for civilians to ride; only trained professional can and that's typically only the handlers who personally raised them. Handlers are left to care for a clutch of eggs alongside the mother and it gets the babies familiar with that wizard from a young age. That way the handler can control them for the most part. I did get to pet one though."

"Really?" Petunia breathed in amazement.

Simone nodded, "Yeah, but only because the handler was close by to keep it from freaking out. It was one of the tamer breeders anyway; the Swedish Short-Snout."

Petunia turned to Lily, excitement burning in her eyes, "Dragons, Lily. Real dragons!"

Lily smiled happily at her sister. Years ago she never thought she would see such a look on her sister's face when it came to magic; now the pair of them were bonding each and every day over all the wonder the wizarding world had to offer. Now she could tell her sister about Hogwarts and watch as her face lit up like a magic candle.

After eating, Simone eventually led the way to a wax hand booth, where one could pose their hand a certain way of their choice and then repeatedly dip it in colorful wax until it hardened into a wax sculpture they could take home and display. Simone saw it as an awesome way to display some of her rings and thus decided they must try it.

"This certainly has been fun," Lily said as she waited her turn in line to dip again, her hand posed in a cupping position so that she could place things in it's palm later.

"More than I expected," Severus agreed through clenched teeth, attempting to chew off the friendship bracelet Simone forced on him. His other hand was closed into a loose fist, so that he could prop it upright on his desk and put his quill in it. He tugged furiously at the red and gold bracelet.

"I swear she spelled this," he grunted.

Lily giggled, "Oh come on! It's cute. Don't wreck it."

Severus rolled his eyes, "Cute is a matter of opinion, one I do not share. I'm getting this thing off one way or another."

Lily pouted, "Oh, leave it on. Please?"

"Give me one reason I should wear this ridiculous thing," Severus challenged.

Lily gave Severus a cheeky little grin, "I thought it would be cute if we had a set," from her pocket she pulled a silver and green friendship bracelet.

Severus blinked, "When did you make that?"

"While Simone was chasing you," Lily explained, tying the bracelet around the wrist of her wax covered hand, pulling the ties tight with her teeth, "Our friendship cuts across the lines drawn by House rivalries. Don't you want something to symbolize that?"

Severus sighed, exasperated, "Lily, they're just bracelets made of string."

"They're more than that to me," Lily insisted, "Tell you what, I'll undo those knots for you so that it isn't stuck on you forever and in exchange you keep the bracelet on you. You can wear it under your robes."

Severus thought about it.

"Please?" Lily asked.

Unable to say no to such a pleading face, Severus sighed wearily.

"Fine," he said reluctantly.

"Yay!" Lily threw her arms up and cheered, "As soon as we're done here, I'll untie it."

It took them another ten minutes to finally have the wax layered enough and hardened to be removed by the man running the booth.

"This is so neat," Simone cried, "I never saw something like this at Hogsmede. Muggles truly do some fascinating things."

Stowing his wax hand in a bag, Severus turned to Lily.

"Do you mind?" he asked, holding out his arm.

Untying all the knots in the bracelet, Lily tied the ends into a bow instead, grinning merrily at Severus as she did so.

"Don't lose it," Lily told Severus sternly.

Severus rolled his eyes, "Yes, ma'am."

Lily was going to retort, but Petunia cut them off.

"Come on you two, there's a band playing over by the candy apples stand. Let's check it out," Petunia linked arms with her sister and headed off, Simone and Thea right behind her.

Severus followed at a more sedate pace, his eyes wandering aimlessly.

The place was packed with people, all milling around and bustling about, the shouts and laughter of happy fair goers filling the air. Children ran between the crowds, holding onto balloons and eating cotton candy. Women laughed and gossiped in small groups, exchanging recipes and admiring each others' outfits. Several men were discussing some sport with great enthusiasm and laughing uproariously at off-color jokes.

Severus followed Lily and the others up to a small gathering of people grouped together in a half circle. In front of them were several musicians with violins and guitars, playing an Irish tune.

Lily clapped her hands to the beat. Smiling at Severus, she began swaying and dancing with the crowd, steadily losing herself to the upbeat music.

Simone and Thea led Petunia into a little jig, the trio giggling madly and tripping all over themselves as the crowd grew more silly and rowdy.

Severus grunted as he was jostled about, trying to avoid elbows and stomping feet. Being pushed to the middle of the crowd, he struggled to fight his way back to the edge to no avail.

Severus cursed, it was getting stuffy and hot where he was among the mass of bodies.

"Stupid muggles," he grumbled, "It's just a song, why get so worked up?"

Standing on his tip toes, he tried to see over everyone, but was dismayed to find he was too far into the crowd now to get out.

The music seemed to grow louder and everyone laughed and hooted with joy, people tripping and bumping into each other as they danced. Hopped up on sugar and beer, many of them were too hyper to really care how rambunctious they were acting.

"Come on, Sev," Lily called, waving to Severus, "Dance with me." She hadn't drifted too far away, hesitant to be out of his sight with so many men around.

Severus looked around at the bodies closing in on him. The noise was growing louder and everyone was getting closer. It was chaotic.

"Sev?" Lily called again, this time with worry.

The crowd jostled Severus about, shoving him to and fro. Looking up he realized he had been moved away from his friends, their presence separated by a throng of people.

"Sev?" Lily called. There was alarm in her voice, though whether it was for him or because she didn't like being separated, Severus did not know.

"Sev?"

A child was screaming somewhere. Elsewhere people were arguing, shouting at each other.

Lily pushed her way through the crowd, spotting him.

"Severus," she said in relief.

The world was spinning, going faster and faster—

A huge boom split the air and people screamed ducking for cover.

"What idiot brought fireworks?!" One of the musicians asked in annoyance.

Lily came over to Severus, concern painting her face, "Sev, are you okay?"

Severus stood in silence, his face pale and eyes blown wide. Swaying a bit on his feet, his breathing picked up, getting faster and faster until he was taking in rapid, shallow gulps of air. Without warning he dropped to his knees, Lily barely managing to catch him.

"Sev!" Lily cried.

Her cries drew the attention of other people as those around them stopped and turned.

"Out of the way!" Simone shouted, pushing her way towards her friends. Kneeling down besides Severus, she pushed his hair out of his face.

"He's having a panic attack," she told Lily. She turned to glare at the crowd, "Everyone give him some air!"

"We should get him somewhere less crowded," Thea suggested.

"Good idea," Simone agreed.

"Move, please," came a deep voice from the back of the crowd.

The tall Auror from early came striding forward.

"My name is Kingsley," he introduced himself, "Your headmaster asked me to keep an eye on you. Do you think you could stand for me?"

Severus tried to nod, but he was shaking too much, panting like a dog.

Kingsley put his hands on Severus's shoulder, "Mr Snape, you need to find peace. Close your eyes," he instructed, "and take deep even breaths in time with me pressing on your chest, okay? In...and out...In...and out. That's it."

Severus did as he was told, taking in deep but shaky breaths. Slowly, eventually, he managed to get his breathing under control, but his body still trembled.

"Sev?" Lily questioned worriedly.

Severus merely shook his head, tears in his eyes.

"We should move now," Kingsley said, "Help me get him up."

Thea and Lily gripped Severus under the arms and pulled him to his feet with care.

As they were lifting him, Thea's hand slipped on his jacket and something clattered to the ground. Turning to see what it was, Thea watched in dawning horror as Severus's wand rolled across the ground and came to rest at a man's feet.

Curious, the man picked up the wand and examined it, looking over at Thea.

Thea's stared back at him, wide eyed, her face paling.

"We're going," Kingsley said with authority, leading them away.

"But..." Thea stammered, "B-but..."

"Let's go," the Auror barked.

Simone grabbed hold of Thea's hand and tugged her away.

"What's got you all in a twist?" Simone asked as they walked away.

Thea gripped Simone's arm fearfully, "I think my power's just revealed magic to a muggle!"

"What?!" Simone shrieked.

"Wait!" called someone from behind them, "Please wait!"

"It's the muggle that grabbed Severus's wand!" Thea cried fretfully.

At those words, Kingsley whirled around, his wand drawn. He pointed it at the muggle chasing them, "Not another step."

"Stand back, children," he warned, "Just stay calm."

The man raised his hands in surrender, "Please, I mean no harm. I-I know what you are."

"Hand over the wand, sir," Kingsley ordered, "And we'll deal with what you know."

"You don't understand," the man insisted, "I...I know about magic. My cousin, he has it. Look, you're friend has some emotional trauma, right?" He held out Severus's wand and a business card, "That's why you panic, isn't it? I'd recognize a panic attack anywhere. I think I can help."

On the card were the words, 'Marcus Jeffers: Therapist.'

"I don't think this is really your place," Kingsley began.

The man cut him off, 'No, wait. Hear me out. Your friend is a part of a world he can't talk about with non-magic people, right? And from what my cousin said there isn't exactly a ton of therapists running around your world. Well I'm a therapist, I know about magic. Just give me a chance to help him."

Lily kept her arms wrapped tightly around Severus, warily eyeing the muggle. Cautiously, she held her hand out.

"We'll think about it," she said, taking both Severus's wand and the card.

"I think you should come with me," Kingsley told Marcus, "I needed to verify if your cousin story checks out." He turned to the teenagers, "Do you kids think you can take things from here?"

Simone nodded, "We'll take him somewhere to get some water; let him calm down."

Kingsley nodded in approval, "See to it that you do. Take care." The Auror guided Marcus away to be questioned

"Well that was all very...exciting," Simone said.

"Not the word I would have used," Lily replied. Turning to Severus, she rubbed his shoulder soothingly, "I told you something was wrong, Severus. Can you please talk to me?"

Severus took a deep breath, nodding, "Not now," he panted, "Later. Tonight."

Lily pulled Severus close, making him rest his head on her shoulder.

"I'm here," she said softly, "Everything's going to be okay."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of these behaviors come from me and my mother specifically and what PTSD has done to us. The reaction Severus had to the unexpected firework at the fair was inspired by my mother's own reactions once at work when someone slammed a door too hard and it knocked a light panel right out of the ceiling. When asked by a coworker if she was okay, she burst into tears. Growing up in an abusive home, my mother often times dealt with everyday, monotonous things being disruptive by loud, harsh noises preceding violence. It taught her to fear sudden noises; it made silence that much more frightening. I myself tend to shut down in response to the sound of raised voices. Both of us have struggled with PTSD for years.
> 
> One of the behaviors described her isn't technically a direct symptom of PTSD, but rather an anxiety disorder. Severus chewing on his fingers enough to leave noticeable damage to them is taken directly from my own OCD disorder known as Dermatophagia, a compulsion to gnaw at and/or eat your skin, oftentimes around the fingers. My PTSD resulted in severe anxiety disorders that came with their ow list of problems, this being one of them along with the complusion to pick at my skin, dermatillomania.
> 
> True story, sufferers of dermatophagia are often referred to as 'Wolf biters' in medical lingo...why would you give such a cool sounding name to such a serious condition?!
> 
> I hope this chapter didn't make anyone too uncomfortable. I wanted to approach child abuse seriously and it seems unlikely that Severus's troubles would be over the minute he was removed from an abusive household. For many of us, the scars in our mind last much longer than the physical abuse ever did.
> 
> You should start to notice how the stress of the attack on the train is starting to affect Lily as well.
> 
> Read and review, my friends. :)


	19. What's the Prognosis, Doc?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus attends his first therapy session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi-dee-ho I'm back again!
> 
> A big thanks to all my reviews out there, especially my good friend iheartmwpp for all her reviews this week as she caught up with my story. You were very encouraging and I love your support, girl! 
> 
> A shout out to LokiGodOfMischief for there lengthy comments these past few weeks. I enjoy each and every one of them ;)
> 
> This chapter was relatively easy for me to write, drawing on my experiences in therapy for PTSD and the aftermath of abuse. Some moments and symptoms that Severus will describe in this chapter are actually altered tales of mine and my mother's own PTSD induced breakdowns. I hope knowing that these examples are based in reality does not make anyone too uncomfortable, but rather gives them clarity to just how PTSD can hurt and even hinder one's life. 
> 
> With that being said, I humbly ask you to read this chapter.

* * *

 

Severus's initial thoughts of Marcus's office were that it was nothing remarkable. It contained the standard fair for a doctors office, the diploma's on the wall, a mahogany desk with knick-knacks like the clanging balls on a wire, some chairs and a fairly nice rug on the floor. The curtains were thick navy blue and went to the floor, collecting dust at the hem and bookcases lined the walls containing various theories and discoveries about the mind and emotions.

There were only three things worthy of any notice in the room as far as Severus was concerned: a large antique grandfather clock instead of the stand wall clock, a pot of greenish sand upon the fireplace mantel, and a large painting of a garden on the wall behind the chair clients typically sat in. What was peculiar about this particular painting was it seemed like the flowers were out of focus, as though there should be something in the forefront of the painting to draw the viewer's eye…yet the garden was devoid of any person.

"I'm glad you decided to take me up on my offer, Severus," Marcus stated with a smile.

Severus shifted in his seat, "It wasn't really much of a choice. Lily has been relentless about me needing to open up. At least here I can speak where things will remain confidential."

"Lily's that redheaded girl that was with you at the fair, yes?" Marcus asked, "Do you mind if I ask what she is to you?"

Severus snorted, "We're jumping right into this then, I see. Lily is my friend. My best friend. We've known each other for years."

"She's very important to you," Marcus noted.

Severus nodded, "She's the first person I ever met who was like me. I mean…I know my mother is a witch, but she uses magic so little and she's an adult anyway. When I met Lily, it was my first time meeting someone in the same position as me; new to magic, just discovering all the power at my fingertips," Severus gazed down at his hands, "She was the one who really understood what it was like. I felt that…connected us somehow."

"Lily's played a very important role in your life then," Marcus said, "She's been there for some of your most important moments in life."

Severus allowed himself a small smile, "She has. When we got our letters to Hogwarts, we hid down by the creek and read them together. We didn't want anyone else seeing them yet; not even our families. We were special and we finally had the evidence right there in our hands."

Marcus nodded, scribbling a few notes, "You live near one another?"

"We used to," Severus said, "But after the incident with my father, I've been living with Lily and her family."

"What incident was that?" Marcus inquired, an eyebrow raised.

Severus shifted uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at the therapist, "…I was removed from my parent's custody…after my father tried to kill me."

Marcus's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, "I see."

"He was just choking me," Severus brushed it off casually, "but he was talking about killing me so…well that's what we figured he was going for."

Marcus tapped his pen against his notepad, regarding Severus with a critical eye, "You said 'just choking you'…I wasn't aware that choking someone was a mild action. It isn't often I hear someone trivialize such a thing."

Severus grimaced, "He could have done worst. It wouldn't have been the first time."

"So him inflicting harm on you was a common occurrence in your home," Marcus stated more than asked.

Severus shrugged, "You could say that. Just about everything pissed him off and mum and I always got the worst of his bad mood. His drinking didn't help anything."

"What set him off the night of the incident?" Marcus asked.

"He and mum were fighting again, I guess. I was on the phone with Lily so I missed most of it. But then he came after me…with how he was talking, it seemed his goal was to punish mum, through me," Severus explained.

Marcus made a mote of that, "Did he do that often?"

Severus searched his memory, "Not really…? Usually I would get dragged into their fights because I said something or tried to intervene. He rarely hurt one of us to get back at the other; I didn't think a liquor soaked brain like his could come up with an idea like that."

"It's safe to say your father's relationship with both you and your mother was a hostile one," Marcus observed, "How severe would the abuse get?"

Severus leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, "Pretty rough, I suppose. He wasn't the type to care about hiding the marks; not that anyone in my side of the neighborhood cared enough to notice. He always aimed for the face, smacked us around some when he was drunk…he liked to drag us by our hair. It's all been the same song and dance since I was little. He'd come home drunk and pissed, I'd get in his way, he'd lay into me good. Rise and repeat."

"Get in his way," Marcus repeated, "You sound as though you are blaming yourself for being there."

"I'm not," Severus denied, "I'm just saying that he'd be mad if I crossed his path when he was in that sort of mood."

"But you're still putting emphasis on your own actions. 'Crossed his path', you're pointing out your own actions as though they have correlation between them and what your father did."

Severus blinked, "Well…that's because they did. He'd get mad and when he saw me he'd beat me."

"See, that's a better statement," Marcus pointed out, "You're putting all the emphasis on your father's actions now. What you do should have no bearing on what he does."

"But no, you see it did," Severus insisted, growing frustrated, "Everything I did upset him. All I had to do was say the wrong thing or look at him funny and I'd get hit for it."

"Severus, your father made the decision to resort to violence all on his own," Marcus said firmly, "You didn't push him to it. Nothing you did really matter; he would have found any reason to take out his anger on you or your mother."

"I know that," Severus snapped, "Don't take me for a fool. I didn't make him do a thing. But I could have prevented it. I could have avoided the house longer into the evening, until he fell asleep, or snuck in the back door while he was on the couch. I'm just saying that there were ways I could have gone to avoid getting caught but sometimes I was careless."

"But careless or not, you're father hitting you wasn't a result of anything you did or failed to do," Marcus said, "Surely there were times when you did everything right and he sought you out instead, right? You shouldn't have to feel like it is your job to avoid bearing the brunt of your father's anger."

Severus frowned, "Well at the very least I could have done a better job defending myself. That man is like, what, one hundred and thirty pounds when wet? I should have been able to put up a better fight."

"All this blame you are putting on yourself, it sounds an awful lot like self-loathing," Marcus said.

Severus glared at him, "It does not. I don't hate myself if that's what you're saying."

Marcus held his hands up, "I never said you hate yourself only that it comes off that way regardless of your intentions. Severus, I am not here to tell you what to feel or tell you what it is you are feeling. I make no accusations here. But I do think it prudent to inform you how your words and behaviors are perceived from an outside perspective. You place blame on yourself for what happened; I only wish to know why you feel this way and why responsibility for your father's actions should fall on anyone aside from him."

"Of course he's responsible for what he did!" Severus snapped, standing up so fast his chair nearly fell backwards, "I'm not so stupid as to think I somehow brought it on myself. I don't deserve what he did to me; if anything he deserves to rot in jail for doing it!" Severus stood there panting, glaring angrily down at Marcus. When all Marcus did was stared thoughtfully back at him, it only served to irritate Severus further.

"I'm just saying that I  _should_  have been able to defend myself. I have in the past. If things ever really got out of hand, I got away, sometimes I even got a hit in myself. That night should have been the same. But I couldn't protect myself. I failed. I was weak," Severus slumped into his chair, scrubbing a hand over his face, "I couldn't even defend my mother, let alone myself. He was drunk enough a gust of wind could have knocked him over and he overpowered me. That wasn't supposed to happen. I could have stopped it; I know I could. But I fucked up. Let my guard down."

"And what about the other times, Severus," Marcus prompted, "Do you feel you messed up then too? When your father would do some real damage?"

"I usually could hear him coming," Severus said softly, "could see the look in his eye. Normally I knew how to stay out of the way and avoid the whole thing. But sometimes, I'd slip up, leave my door open a crack so he'd end up remembering I was in there, let my temper get the best of me and say something when I could have just sneaked by and have him not notice me. Whenever he got hold of me, it was because I wasn't fast enough, or forgot to lay low."

"As it is," Severus went on, "All of this would have ended long ago if I had just used magic on him. A flick of my wand and I could have him begging for mercy, too afraid to ever raise a hand to me again. Instead, I clung to that stupid age restriction rule year after year, hit after hit. I wouldn't have even had to use the bloody thing; I could just point my wand at him and make him cower if I wanted to. And I wanted to...But I never did. I could have stopped all of this, but I was too chicken shit to do it, afraid I'd be expelled and forced to live with that pathetic lump in that sorry little hovel with no reprieve."

"Severus," Marcus began, "Do you honestly believe that by not stopping the abuse you were somehow condoning it?"

"Well what would you call it?" Severus said with a flippant wave of his hand.

"Wrong!" Marcus blurted out, horrified, "I'd call it wrong! Severus, no matter what you do or don't do, your father never should have laid a hand on you or your mother. That rests entirely on his shoulders and nothing you could have done would contribute to or encourage it. You could have been a model son and student, quiet as a church mouse and keeping that house spotless and he  _still_  would have beat you. That's how abusers work. They don't find reasons to hurt someone, they aren't presented with reasons, they invent reasons! If you had done nothing to piss him off, he just would have found a reason why that in and of itself upset him. Think hard about this, about all you know of your father, can you honestly think of a circumstance where he  _wouldn't_  be a cruel person?"

Severus thought long and hard on that, using his imagination. Yet, no matter how creative he tried to be in making a different life—nice house, lots of money, his mother a glowing model of a housewife with fine meals on the table and a string of pearls around her neck—he still saw his father standing there, stained shirt, bottle in his fist and a scowl on his face.

"No," Severus said after a while, "I see your point."

Marcus sighed, relieved, "And I'm glad of that. Severus, fighting back would have solved nothing. Sure in the moment you'd escape the attack, but he'd only come back harder next time, anticipating resistance. He wouldn't see it as a sign you were not to be messed with. Not even magic would convince him of that. An abuser twists and distorts reality to justify the abuse. In his mind he is 'in the right' for hurting you because he sees the things he's mad about as being perfectly reasonable excuses to get violent. He may even see himself as the victim here; that is how screwy an abuser can think. 'Woe is me; I'm living with a witch and a wizard!' If you fought back or threatened him with magic, all he would see is vindication for his own actions, his own warped 'proof' that he is in the right and you are the bad guy."

Severus grimaced, "I hadn't thought of that. You really think he doesn't see what he does as wrong? He can't see that it's sick and twisted to beat on a defenseless woman and child?"

"Oh I'm sure some part of him knows it isn't right," Marcus stated, "after all, he knows there are laws against violence, he knows society would be against his actions if the police found out. But honestly, no, I don't believe he sees it as wrong. He's aware that others would perceive it as such, but in his mind, he is merely doing what you 'drove him to', that you were somehow 'asking for it'. No, Severus, you wouldn't be able to reason with your father. If anything he'd deflect, blame it on you, focus on your faults to avoid acknowledging his own."

Severus slumped further in his chair, "So I would have been well and truly fucked either way…pardon me."

Marcus waved his hands, "Hey, feel free to cuss however much you like. The point of these session is to liberate you, give you the freedom to express yourself. If swearing helps you unload, then do it."

Severus smirked, "Duly noted."

Marcus decided to divert the conversation to ease Severus back into some level of comfort since the current subject was so touchy.

Asked about his school life, Severus told Marcus about his troubles with Potter and his gang, about falling in with the wrong crowd and nearly losing Lily to that decision. He talked about being nearly tricked into joining a group led by You-Know-Who and how he had been led to believe the group would be about freeing wizards from secrecy instead of hiding from muggles.

Marcus occasionally asked questions or delved deeper into a topic, but for the most part he listened intently, writing down anything he felt noteworthy.

"Let's move on shall we?" Marcus suggested, "Let's talk about…oh, let's talk about that day at the fair, alright?"

Severus looked away, "Do I have a choice?"

Marcus laughed, "Of course you do. I'm not going to force you to discuss anything you do not wish to. I'm asking for your permission to discuss this, Severus; you don't have to say yes."

Severus thought about it, side-eyeing Marcus, "What did you want to discuss."

Taking that as a cue to continue, Marcus smiled, relieved, "What happened that day? In your own words."

Severus thought back to the fair, absent-mindedly fiddling with the hem of his shirt, "Everything was fine at first. I was actually having fun. I don't usually like big crowds or events, but there were some things that caught my interest for once and Lily was so happy to have me there and…" he trailed off, a hint of a smile on his face, "She had begged me to come, said it wouldn't be the same without me."

"That must have meant a lot to you," Marcus said knowingly.

"It did," agreed Severus, "Anyway, we decided to see some musicians by the stage. The music was nice so we thought we'd see them up close. But the crowd was bigger than I thought. Normally…crowds don't really bother me any, they just annoy me really. But I got pushed into the thick of it and everyone was bumping into each other." Severus sighed, "I couldn't really see over anyone with their hands all in the air and no one could hear me telling them to 'back off'. I was getting….I don't know, frustrated? I couldn't hear my own voice with all the noise. Noise normally isn't a problem but…things started to get fuzzy, like everything was slowing down and speeding up at the same time. I felt…wrong somehow. I wasn't able to do anything to get out and it made things worse."

"You didn't have control," Marcus pointed out.

Severus nodded, "I guess. After a while, the noise sort of started to fade out, like it was muffled or something. I almost felt like I wasn't in my own body, you know?" He raked a hand through his hair, "It's hard to explained."

"I understand, Severus," Marcus told him, "It was like you were disconnecting from it."

Severus nodded eagerly, "Exactly like that! It was like I was shutting down or something…or shutting it out, maybe? I felt almost better…then those fireworks went off and people screamed. I felt..."

"What did you feel?" Marcus prompted.

Severus looked down, "Like there was a hole in my stomach…or the bottom of my stomach had dropped out. I felt tense, sick even, like something bad was going to happen."

"Did that feeling seem familiar?" Marcus asked, a strange, knowing look in his eye.

Slowly Severus nodded, "…sometimes…when I was little, I spent more time in the house instead of outside. Without Tobias in the house, it would be peaceful and quiet. But when he got home…sometimes the front door would slam open real loud or I'd hear something crash…and I'd know it was going to be one of those nights. I felt the same feeling in my stomach at the fair."

Marcus rubbed his chin, nodding, "Have you ever had similar experiences of panic?"

Severus started to shake his head, but thought better of it, "Nothing that big...but sometimes," he fidgeted in place, the chair creaking, "Sometimes, being touched at random startles me. Well, more than startle really. It isn't the same as a friend jumping out at you for fun; you yell, you catch your breath, then you laugh about it. But this is different, I feel...wronged somehow, like violated. It seems silly, but I feel rather upset and...indignant I guess, that someone would be in my space."

"You're mad they touched you?" Marcus asked.

Severus shook his head, "Not mad just...rattled? Most times I don't even react that way to contact, but sometimes," he swept a hand across his brow, "it can be a touch too firm, too unexpected, maybe it lingers too long and I feel like I'm...transported back to my house with Tobias smacking me around. It makes no sense! I mean, Tobias hit me, beat me; someone grabbing my shoulder shouldn't affect me."

"Severus, much of your life has been you lacking control over the simplest things," Marcus said, "even something as small as telling people not to touch you was a right you had stripped away at a young age. Your father had no right to hit you and subconsciously, you know this. So your body has started setting up it's own boundaries instinctively; mentally you are setting up defenses for yourself and you feel those boundaries have been crossed when someone touches you."

Severus sighed, "Wonderful. I already am known as the creepy, twitchy kid in school, let's add a fear of being touched to that."

"Surely that's not how you think of yourself?" Marcus questioned.

"That's how others think of me," Severus replied, "The kids at school."

"Does that bother you?" Marcus inquired.

Severus shrugged, "Not really. Most of them are dunderheads anyway. It isn't like their opinions matter to me. Most of them will not amount to anything in their lives, lets be honest."

Marcus looked amused, "You're not a people person, are you, Severus?"

"I find most social experiences exhausting," Severus drawled.

"Would you say that is because you are an introvert? Or is it social anxiety?" Marcus queried.

Severus sneered, "Oh, so now wanting to spend time to oneself is a syptom of something greater?"

It was Marcus's turn to shrug, "Not necessarily. You could just be an introvert. The thing you need to find out is if you want to be alone because you enjoy the privacy and quiet...or because the company and activity unsettles you? Which is it?"

Severus mulled that over, unsure how to respond, "I'm...not sure. I've never thought about it before..."

Marcus held up his hands, "We don't need an answer now; it's just food for thought. How about we come back to that a different day? Any other difficulties you've been having?"

Severus ran his tongue across his lips, wetting the dry chapped skin. Staring at his hands, he made another confession, "I don't do well with yelling."

Marcus leaned back, eyebrows raised, "What would you call not handling it well?"

"I can't be around it," Severus explained, "I-I take off. I usually sneak away at school when people start yelling. Cling to the wall, slide out without anyone's notice. I'm not sure why, but once people start raising their voices, I just can't be around them. It didn't happen too often at school, but no it seems to be a regular occurrence. I could understand if someone was yelling at me and it upset me, but two complete strangers could be shouting it out and I just need to get away. If I can't I just sort of...what's the word you used?"

"Disconnect?" Marcus offered.

Severus nodded, "Yes, that."

"Now you said earlier that you are bullied a lot at school," Marcus brought up, "How did you feel when those confrontations happened?"

Severus frowned angrily, "Not like running away, if that's what you are asking. Those rotters piss me off; I would never run away from them if there was a chance I could let them have it."

"Was there a lot of yelling or physical violence during those fights?" Marcus asked curiously.

"No, just a of of taunting and hexes usually. If they ever did yell, I yelled back anyway. That always felt satisfying," Severus said honestly.

"But for the most part things were just spell work and name calling," Marcus summarized, writing this down, "It would seem that yelling or screaming has a different effect on you, no doubt because you connect it to the fighting in your home that usually ended with violence against you or at the very least your mother, whom you care dearly about. For that reason is triggers your fight or flight response more so than fighting your bullies."

"Is that common?" Severus asked warily, "With abuse victims?"

"Oh yes," Marcus affirmed, "Especially for what you're going through. All these symptoms, these knee jerk reactions of yours, their all the sort of thing I'd see in disaster survivors, returning soldiers from the war, etc. Trauma manifests itself in many ways in survivors; defensiveness, anger or aggression...that chewing you been doing around your fingers," he gestured to Severus's hands, "Developing certain habits, some self destructive even, are quite common here. They're basically coping mechanisms and they each have their own functions for a victim; causing pain releases endorphin, repetitive habits give a person a sense of control, erratic mood swings allow a person to express things they usually repress. In any other case, we'd call it PTSD. And I think it is safe to say it applies here."

"PTSD?" Severus asked, confused.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," Marcus explained, "It's had other names over the years; Gross Stress Reaction, Battle Fatigue, Combat Stress Reaction, and so on. It's still a relatively new diagnosis. In fact, it hasn't even been labeled as an official mental disorder yet by various Psychiatric Associations; though personally I believe it should be."

Marcus took off his glasses and wiped the lenses, "Now, this disorder has been applied mostly to soldiers, but it is my belief—as well as the belief of many other medical professionals the world over—that any traumatic event can trigger such symptoms in a person, be it war, or surviving a natural disaster, or…even severe abuse."

Severus frowned, "So what are you saying?"

Marcus smiled at Severus, "I'm saying that what you are going through is understandable. You aren't the only one in the world who has processed trauma like this, Severus, not by a long shot. Tell me, can you think of anyone else who's acted similarly?"

Severus was silent for a long time, lost in his thoughts. Finally, he answered, "My mother."

Marcus nodded, leaning back in his chair and steepling his hands together, "Would you feel comfortable sharing with me?"

Severus shrugged, "There's not much to tell. It was only this one time, really—when I was little. My grandmother on my fa—on Tobias's side was still alive. One year, Tobias was arrested for fighting at a bar. Not sure what he did, but he had to serve some time locked up for it, more than he ever got for hitting us. My mum and me…we lived off his pay from the mill. We were of out of money without him, so we were sent to live with his mother." Severus smiled fondly at the memory, "She was nice; mum had gotten sort of quiet when the abuse from Tobias first started so she never really played with me anymore. But my grandmum, she would bake cookies and sing me songs and listen to me talk for hours, looking at me like I was the most precious thing in the world."

"You must have loved that," Marcus mused.

Severus nodded, "I did. I never got that sort of attention from Tobias, not after I started showing signs of magic. I don't know if my grandmother ever knew I was a wizard, but while she was alive she loved me and that was all that mattered."

"And what about the incident with your mother?" Marcus inquired.

Severus frowned, "Gran lived on the top floor of this little building, there was this long staircase up to her flat that would echo when you walked on it. We stayed there for over a month while dad was locked up. One time, Mum was actually talking to me, telling me stories about Hogwarts—I think my grandmother thought they were just fairytales. Anyway, it had been all quiet and peaceful and then, there' was this loud slam at the foot of the stairwell and someone pounding up the stairs. The door flung open and Grandmother's neighbor burst in. He had come to tell her that his daughter had just been born, it wasn't anything bad…but my mother…"

Marcus gestured for Severus to continued, "Take your time, Severus."

Severus looked down, picking at the skin on his fingers, "Mum had jumped up and gotten to the other side of the room in a matter of seconds. Plastered herself against the wall; she didn't even remember moving. Gran yelled at her neighbor for scaring mum, sent him on his way. I think she knew deep down what was going on at home, but…it's just how some families are, I guess, so she never intervened, like it was mum and Tobias' job to work things out. She asked my mum if she was okay…and mum just broke down crying. Never said a word; she just cried."

"She eventually left the room, locked herself up in the bathroom," Severus continued, "She was gone a long while. When she came back, she acted as if nothing had happened. They both did."

"That was PTSD, Severus," Marcus stated, "It's part of the human condition—an instinct, if you will—to sometimes process severe risks or events threatening extreme harm and then develop reactionary triggers in order to best assure our safety in the future. As humans, we do this naturally. Centuries ago, almost everyone would have behaved as such solely as a means to survive. The problem is surviving like this sometimes comes at the cost of living; it hinders you, Severus."

Severus looked away, "Like at the fair."

Marcus nodded, "Exactly."

"Great, so I'm just going to spend my life missing out on things that matter to me or ruining them because I can't control this?" Severus asked.

Marcus patted Severus's shoulder sympathetically, "No, not necessarily. You see, Severus, as logic and reason began to develop in humankind, we learned how to control emotional responses better, to avoid being restricted by fears and superstitions. We can assess how we feel and why we feel it to come up with more appropriate and logical responses to it. Some fear and caution is good; they're the instincts we carry with us to help us remember basic dangers, like how fire is hot, and how some things are poisonous."

He fixed Severus with a meaningful stare, "It's when we stop living our lives out of these fears that it becomes necessary to treat the problem at its core and limit the hold fear has over us. That's what I want to help you do."

"I'm not afraid of my father," Severus insisted stubbornly.

"Maybe fear wasn't the right word," Marcus agreed, "Let's go with...anxiety? Apprehension? Immense dislike? Pick any of them; my point is that you are instinctively distancing yourself from certain possibilities you think pose a risk to you. You are subconsciously avoiding that which could hurt you. That's all understandable; no one likes to be hurt."

"I  _hate_  my father," Severus said dourly.

"And you  _hate_  being hurt," Marcus said, pointing his pen at Severus, "But aside from a few hiccups here and there, you haven't had much of a problem at school with PTSD symptoms. It's now that you are back in Cokeworth and staying with Lily's family that the symptoms have kicked up a notch."

"What are you getting at?" Severus asked.

"You aren't bothered by wizards, Severus," Marcus pointed out, "You seem quite confident you can handle them. The only abuse you couldn't defend yourself from was at the hands of your father...Severus, how do you feel about non-magical people?"

Severus froze up, sitting up straight in his chair, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, your biggest trauma comes from abuse from someone lacking magic—you call them muggles, right? My cousin said you call us muggles. Anyway, it wouldn't be unusual for those experiences with someone unlike you to shape your opinions of others of that same category. You're a wizard, your father is a muggle. Does his abuse of you have an effect on how you view other muggles?"

Severus looked away, unable to meet Marcus's earnest stare.

After a few moments of tense silence—for Severus at least—Severus spoke, "I guess I don't think too highly of many of them," he shifted slightly, crossing one leg over the other, "most of them."

"You don't like them, or you don't trust them?" Marcus inquired.

"Both, really," Severus admitted, "The ones around my neighborhood were all drunks and liars, thieves and criminals like my dad. The whole lot of them were worthless. And the ones around the rest of town aren't much better; all high and mighty, looking down their noses at me as though I chose to dress in ragged clothes too big for me that don't match. They pull their kids away from me when I walk around town, acting like I'm no good..." Severus fiddled with his shirt, "They all look at me like they expect me to turn out like my father."

"Which understandably upsets you," Marcus summed up.

Severus nodded.

"So did you know the group your classmates were recruiting for had plans to hurt muggles?" Marcus asked.

Severus shrugged, scuffing his feet on the floor, "There were rumors, but I thought it was all talk; propaganda by people like the Gryffindors who are fine with hiding magic away to keep the peace. The Slytherins, Avery and Mulciber and his ilk, they said the real goal was to bring wizards out of the shadows, so that we didn't have to hide our magic like we are ashamed of it."

Severus looked up at Marcus embarrassed, "It sounded so appealing; I hated not being able to do magic in Cokeworth during the summers. I feel like I'm not able to be myself. Every other kid in town gets to go around showing off what makes them special, but I can't? It isn't exactly what I call fair."

"You were promised a chance to be proud of who you were and have others recognize it," Marcus said, "I can see how that would be tempting for someone who has been under appreciated most of his life. And from what I understand you are an exceptional student and wizard; it must be frustrating to not be able to have anyone see that."

Severus nodded eagerly, "It is."

"So your classmates never made mention of hurting people?" Marcus prodded, "Like muggles?"

Severus paused, lips pursed in discomfort, "They did say some people might get hurt—but only those who deserved it! They told me people like my father would finally get what they deserved; Potter and his friends too. I mean, so what if Tobias or the people in my neighborhood got hurt; they were just stupid muggles—no offense," he added, a red flush spreading across his face at his slip.

Marcus waved him off, "None taken, I got what you meant."

Severus tried not to let it show how ashamed he was of himself, "I swear, I had no idea they wanted to hurt innocent people. I never thought they wanted to hurt people like Lily." Severus looked ashamed, "I know they don't like muggleborns, but I thought it was the way I didn't like them. Muggles and most of my classmates annoy me, bother me, but I never wanted to torture one of them. Just...tell them to piss off. But my father...I really,  _really_  wanted to hurt him..."

"Your classmates preyed upon your circumstances in order to get you on their side," Marcus stated, "They played on your anger and desire for acknowledgment because they knew it was what you wanted to hear. Did anyone ever try to get through to you?"

"Lily tried," Severus replied, "Dozens of times. But she was telling me what to do more than talking to me and I hate being talked down to. It just made me dig in my heels even more if I'm being honest. It didn't help that she was ranting about how Avery and them were bad to the core for hurting others and yet willing to see some good in Potter despite his willingness to hurt me."

"So you refused to see her side because she refused to see yours," Marcus said.

"Yes," Severus said, "I know that seems childish, but it was hard to be expected to see her side of things when she was never willing to see mine. She comes from such a nice family in a nice neighborhood and everyone likes her; she doesn't understand what it is like to come from nothing, to have nothing and then have people come along who not only promise you can be something, but tell you that you're special, that you're important."

"So what made you change your mind?" Marcus asked.

"Lily," was Severus's reply, "They attacked her and when they saw me they honestly expected me to be okay with it. As if our friendship ending somehow meant she no longer deserved to be treated like a person. I...it made me think of my mum, how Tobias treats her. She thinks I don't understand what goes on after I go to bed, but I do. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to, he would make her do it. I walked in on them once, when I was little. That day on the train, I saw my mum in how Lily was looking at me, like she was praying I wouldn't see it but hoping I would save her."

Marcus nodded, "And that's when you turned against them."

Severus shrugged, "I suppose that's exactly what I did. They stopped pretending and ended up showing me exactly what they thought of muggleborns and it wasn't something I could go along with. That was the biggest reason, but there were others too. Simone was talking with me quite a bit leading up to that day, ever since the falling out with Lily. She really made me think. It helped that she wasn't just flinging accusations at me and demanding I agree with her. She actually just stated her opinion and asked me to mull it over. I had actually been thinking about what she said when I walked into that compartment on the train."

The pair sat in silence for a while, just letting the quiet seep in. The ticking of the grandfather clock and the traffic rolling by outside were the only sounds.

Marcus lightly slapped his palms down on his knees, "Well Severus, this may be a heavy discussion for you, but I have good news: you're already on your way to treating your PTSD."

Severus looked up, confused, "I am?"

Marcus nodded, "Given everything you've been through, it would be easy for you to hate all muggles, to wish them harm for what your father has done to you and your mother. But you're not letting that hate consume you. It may influence your feelings towards muggles, but only a little bit. You haven't let it turn you into the monster your classmates have become; you can put your trauma aside enough to recognize that muggles aren't responsible for what your father did and that they don't deserve to suffer. That's a big step; much of the prejudice of the world stems from a person letting one or two interactions with one individual shape their perceptions on a whole group. You're not letting your experiences change you like that."

"I almost did," Severus said, ashamed.

"But you changed your path before it got to that," Marcus pointed out, "And that's a big deal. I think it's wonderful you have someone like Lily in your life if she means that much to you to step away from monumental mistakes like that."

Severus smiled, "Yeah, I'm really lucky to have her as a friend."

"So is there any chance you to could be more than friends?" Marcus asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Severus flushed crimson, "That's not something I want to discuss."

Marcus laughed, "I'm only teasing. Don't let me rattle you. Actually, our session is up for today. I think we've established some good starting points here. Now we know were to go from here and where we need to focus."

Marcus stood up and held out a hand, "I'm glad you came to join me today, Severus. I really feel this will help you in the long run."

Severus shook Marcus's hand firmly, "I hope so. I trust my record will be kept private, especially given the more...magical elements of it?"

Marcus grinned sneakily, "Oh, I have a special place for the more 'private' files."

Gesturing Severus to follow him, Marcus led Severus over to the grandfather clock. Shooting Severus a crafty grin, he open the front of the clock and wound the long hand three times counterclockwise and then the little hand once clockwise. Before their eyes, the twelve changed to a 13. There was a moments pause, and then the lower front part of the grandfather clock where the etchings were seemingly melted away, revealing a small safe.

"My cousin got this for me when I said I wanted to help wizards as well as muggles," Marcus explained, "He said that hiding magical files was best done with magic. Makes sense, right?"

Marcus placed his notes and Severus's file in the safe. Bringing both hands of the clock up from opposite directions, he aligned them so they pointed at the number thirteen. The front of the clock materialized back into place and the hands moved of their own accord back to the correct time.

"That should keep things safe," Marcus said, satisfied, "And the hands only work when I touch them; anyone else messing with this is just winding the clock wrong. Isn't that neat?"

Severus smiled wryly, "It certainly is."

"Well I think we've made some lovely progress here," Marcus said, leading Severus to the door, "I hope to see you the same time next week."

"Oh and Severus," Marcus called as Severus headed out the door, "Do say hi to Lily for me."

With a laugh at Severus red face, Marcus waved merrily and returned to his office.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be my first ever chapter that stays solely on one scene all throughout. Woo!
> 
> So like I warned you, this chapter dealt with some heavy stuff, much of which drawn from my own experiences. Marcus briefly eludes to one of my own conditions, Dermatophagia, the compulsion to gnaw and eat ones own skin, particularly around the fingers. I don't believe the condition was recognized as an actual condition on its own during Severus's youth, but it was being noted as a symptom of other underlying problems and prominent in overly anxious and stressed people and those with OCD.
> 
> I won't lie, being able to convey some form of what I've been through is very cathartic. I relate to and resonate with Severus Snape very much, given that our lives were shape by abuse and neglect and a lack of help from authority who should have protected us (in my case it was the limited resources and services for the mentally ill allowing my abuser to constantly sign themselves out of the hospital and return to the cycle of abuse). Had I not had the help of some tried and true friends, I probably would have gone down the tempting path of self destruction; believe me I say giving into hate and bitterness is very, VERY tempting. 
> 
> So this story has been very important to me as it allows me to unpack all that I feel makes up the tragic character that is Severus Snape while looking for ways he could have been helped, often times using my own experiences seeking help as the plot. 
> 
> As usual I thank you all for reading and graciously ask you to review.


	20. Visiting Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus finally takes Mary up on her invitation for tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poof! In a puff of smoke I appear!
> 
> Big thanks to my readers and reviewers as always.
> 
> There's been some changes in my life recently. I was hired as a substitute teacher for a daycare, which means more money and more financial stability!
> 
> Huzzah for another chapter! This one is going to be pretty mild and mundane for the most part.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

Sunlight shined down on the Evans home on peaceful morning, peering through the curtains of Lily's window and bathing her in a warm glow. Squinting as the light hurt her eyes; Lily rolled over and put her back to the window, adjusting her book to continue reading.

Lily couldn't exactly say she was typically a morning person, but she loved the quiet early morning brought. Normally a deep and late sleeper back at Hogwarts, she hadn't realized how nice the peaceful still was of a house before everyone awoke for the day. There was no thumping in the halls, no telly showing the morning news, no one laughing at the comics in the paper. The kitchen was empty so the clatter and clamor of dishes and pans was nonexistent at this hour. Without Petunia making breakfast and their mother cleaning the house, the silence was almost a meditative one, even reverent.

Lily had come to enjoy these early morning retrospectives ever since she began cuddling in Severus's bed each night. Every morning before anyone else woke up, Lily would rise to Severus's alarm clock and creep back to her own bed, the sheets slightly chilled from being uninhabited through the night. To ensure no one stumbled upon their nightly ritual and got the wrong impression, this had become their routine.

And misunderstand they would; if the girls at school knew she was sharing a bed with a boy, they would certainly jump to the wrong conclusion. Her dormmates were notoriously boy crazy since they hit their teens so it was safe to say they would instantly assume something scandalous was afoot.

If McGonagall knew where she spent her nights—Talk about being scandalized.

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles.

Being a late sleeper for as long as she could remember, one would think Lily would prefer to snuggle into her blankets and return to the land of slumber she left when she snuck out of Severus's room. Normally, they would be right; how tempting it was to cozy up and sleep in another hour or two before breakfast. However, recent events had, unfortunately robbed Lily of such a privilege.

Side by side with Severus, Lily slept like the dead usually. Limbs thrown akimbo around Severus's taller frame, she'd sprawl limp and dead weight in her sleep, her slumber dreamless or at the very least devoid of nightmares. The scent of Severus's hair, the warmth of his body, and the security of his embrace all combined to make for the most delightful sleep she'd had in years.

But alone…

In her own bed, Lily wasn't cradled in the gentle embrace of a dreamless slumber. No sandman came to her window and sprinkled soothing golden dust over her head to aid her in wonderful dreams of enchantment. No, instead, what went on in her resting mind was much, much more unsettling.

She was often running, running from something she could not see but somehow knew was there. Trapped in a narrow hallway, she'd weaved in between faceless bodies that stood rooted to the spot and cared not for her plight or could not see nor feel her as she shoved her way past. She always found the doors lining the hall locked, unyielding to her frantic tugs. The doors all had windows, but when she banged on them, the faceless beings sitting on the other side did not react, did not come to her aid.

And when the thing that pursued her finally caught up…one shudders to dwell on what always happened next.

Therefore, Lily no longer answered the beckoning call of sleep when she returned to her own bed; she dared not risk it.

Instead, she would busy her time enjoying relaxing activities, reading a book or reviewing her summer homework. She'd doodle little drawings in an old sketch book her Great Aunt had bought her or watch the birds. A finch had made its home in the birch tree right outside her window and tended to stand on her windowsill peering in inquisitively like a feathery little voyeur. Of course, the second she approached, the tiny thing would let out a tweet of panic and fly off to chirp angrily at her from the safety of its nest.

Bird antics aside, reading was really Lily's favorite thing to do in the morning. Ever since she started Hogwarts as a first year, most of her time with books had to do with research or classwork, thick heavy tomes laden with information she needed to sniff out and turn into practical work or lengthy essays.

It wasn't like Lily had a problem with this though, goodness no. She loved to learn and sucked up any new tidbit of knowledge like a sponge. However, with all the books available to her in Hogwarts library being of the educational persuasion, oftentimes Lily neglected the fictional tales she once loved.

At home, Lily's shelves were full of fairytales and folk stories her parents had taught her as a young child. Tales of princesses in faraway places and creatures living in enchanted castles once filled her head and her afternoons. Epic adventures carried out by knights in shining armor or wayward children finding houses made of candy gave new life to her imagination and sat at the forefront of her dreams.

Of course, Lily was all but living a fantasy now as a witch going to school in a castle, but that didn't mean she no longer cared for her stories. They brought with them a nostalgic feeling of home and love, of late nights curled beside her mother, as she read to her daughters in that kind, loving voice.

Stories tended to be more free-spirited and carefree, if Lily was being honest. She may travel to a fantastic castle and turn teacups into mice, but being a part of the wizard world brought with it a whole new slew of responsibilities and unpleasantness she once shied away from by burying her nose in a good storybook. Amidst worrying some and exhausting exams every year and the risk of getting oneself blown up by a cauldron or ill-cast spell, there also resides the sinister underbelly of old world magic.

People stooped in age-old traditions founded on bigotry still lurked in just about every corner of the magical world. They were anti-muggle fascist groups razing quiet country sides in a wave of curses and intimidation. They were the ministry's very own politicians, signing in new laws to strip rights away from werewolves or goblins, all under the guise of 'protecting' children or society. Centaurs never did recover from what old Greek myths did to their reputation; now cast as lustful, vicious beasts that would steal away with terrified women in the night.

Lily almost preferred her storybooks now. In them, the evil was obvious and upfront and people never questioned their actions as being harmless or beneficial. There was no debate on whether that evil brought up 'valid points', on whether they were simply trying to protect the old ways. Everyone recognized the harm the villain caused and all but leaped with joy when a brave hero came along to slay it.

In stories, the hero vanquished the evil on an epic journey. It left the hero with new friends, new skills, and a lifetime of happiness and good fortunes…in real life, if the fight against You-Know-Who ended up going the way her friends were predicting, then it would only end after both sides had suffered insurmountable losses, grueling battles, and countless deaths.

The sound of a door opening pulled Lily from her thoughts. It was quiet in the halls, then a door closed again and feet could be heard padding down the carpeted hallway, the door to the bathroom closing shortly after. After a moment, the shower turned on. Sev was officially up for the day.

Lily rolled onto her back and listened to the gentle hum of the shower spray coming from across the hall. She was lucky things had worked out with Sev, she thought. The very idea that she could have been spending this summer alone, not once seeing him smile or hearing his rarely heard laugh caused a hollow sensation in the pit of her stomach.

Lily thought back to their final weeks of school. She had been so hell bent on never forgiving him, on finally listening to her friends and cutting ties. Partially, it was due to her growing concern for Severus's so called friends and their influence on him, but she could admit to herself that much of it had been her just seeking an excuse to appease her other friends and end their constant nagging.

For years she put up with the nonstop stream of advice, them always questioning her reasoning and filling her head with countless stories of the evils of Slytherin. It was unnatural, they said, for anyone to love the Dark Arts as much as Severus did. He was creepy, he was weird, he was unkind; all these reasons and more they threw at her on a regular basis. A part of her had grown sick of it all and, though she was ashamed to admit it, a larger part of her craved their approval, their recognition of her strengths and talents. It matter to her so much that their constant questioning of her sanity when it came to her ties to Severus had become so weary and tiresome she was desperate to shut them up. So when the opportunity to rose to walk away from a friend she no longer could recognize as the boy she met all those years ago, she jumped on it.

Lily shifted in bed, a guilty grimace overtaking her face. Absentmindedly, she picked at a blemish on her arm.

It had hurt to turn Severus away. Truly, it had. For days afterwards she had been a ghost of her former self, putting on a convincing yet fake smile for her friends and carrying around Severus's absence at her side like a phantom limb. To comfort herself, she clung to her friend's congratulations, their praises of her for having 'wised up'. She practically preened under their renewed attention to her strengths instead of her flaws.

Now that she thought on it, perhaps it was a good thing she didn't typically make many female friends. They seemed to have an influence on her that only heightened her vanity and weakened her convictions, too caught up in their gossip and pettiness. In truth, if they were as good friends as Lily thought they were, they would have respected her choices, picked at her less for it, and certainly wouldn't have spent the evening after the lake incident celebrating while doling out insincere apologies as she mourned the loss of a friend.

Mary was really the only girl she truly called a friend. The others, they were friends in that they were people she could tolerate and share the occasional laugh with. Associating with them meant belonging and a sense of oneness with others, but she didn't really see them as the sort of people she would go out of her way to spend time with outside of school. Alice had been a close and true friend, but being older than Lily, she graduated shortly after they established a true connection, though the Auror in training still did write. So that left her with Mary as the only girl she was actually and honestly friends with at school.

Mary never judged Lily's choices in friends or anything else. Though it was apparent she never approved of Severus, she kept her opinions to herself. Mary had one of those "you're a big girl; sort out your own life' sort of attitude and she tended to avoid sticking her nose in the business of others. Calm and collected, Mary let Lily vent to her when Severus and she had a row, and Mary never offered anything more than a simply sorry for things not going right. Never did Mary take advantage of Lily's anger to try to convince her to ditch Sev, as the other girls had. When Lily would reason out why she was friends with Sev and point out all the good in him, Mary would be her soundboard, listening quietly and telling Lily that she shouldn't fret over what others think of her choices.

She wasn't necessarily nice to Sev, but she was never cruel. Mary was more…indifferent to Severus than anything. Yes, she avoided insulting him when others got on Lily's case listing his faults, but she also ignored the attacks he suffered at the hands of the Marauders. She ignored the good and bad when it came to Severus, but she at least she was never actively tried to hurt him.

Even when Mulciber's attack left Mary with an anger and dislike of nearly anything Slytherin, she never used her experience as a ploy to manipulate Lily into leaving Severus. She didn't belittle or berate Lily for associating with a Slytherin. Instead, she warily but quietly regarded the odd friendship with an air of caution, like she was hoping that by some chance Sev would not show himself to be just as bad as the others.

Now that Sev had effectively swooped in and saved Lily and Mary both, Mary was all too willing to give him her stamp of approval. Whether he had known Mary was there or not, he protected her just as much as he had Lily when he rushed in and distracted Mulciber and Avery. Now Mary was less concerned about Lily's friendship with Sev and more concerned with Severus returning to a dorm room full of possible enemies, if her last letter was anything to go by.

At least now, Lily had Mary to back her up at school when the other girls got back on her case about Severus, as they were sure to do. Yes, by the time they returned it would most likely be all over school that Severus had saved her from his housemates, but teens could be fickle. It wouldn't surprise Lily if some students clung to their own beliefs about Slytherins and Severus or invented some elaborate story about how Severus had somehow planned the attack in order to get back on her good side. It certainly seemed like something James or Sirius would do. Unlike those two, Lily trusted Sev; the look of pure horror in his eyes had been evidence enough for her when he walked into that train compartment.

Now Lily had Mary on her side with her full support, so anyone who tried to question her renewed friendship with Sev was going to hear where they could stick their opinion straight away.

Lily and Sev were actually due to visit Mary that very afternoon. Coerced into accepting the Macdonald's invitation, Severus had made it clear to Lily that she had to accompany him; he would not be the sole focus of attention with his piss poor ability to socialize.

Lily giggled, imagining Sev attempting a casual conversation with Mary's mother.  _'The weather's lovely, isn't it?' 'Oh yes, Mrs. Macdonald. Very…fresh…'_ She could just picture Sev, sitting there awkwardly. Moreover, heaven forbid Mary's father ask Severus about any sport!

Lily smiled, stretching her arms out over her head and arching her back to get the kinks out. Yes, today should be a fun day.

 

{page break}

 

"How's your tea, Severus dear," Miriam, Mary's mother asked kindly.

"Fine, ma'am," Severus replied quietly.

"Are you sure you don't need me to warm it back up for you?" Miriam asked.

"No, ma'am, it's quite fine," Severus assured her.

They had been at the Macdonald's home for around an hour and a half so far and it appeared to be going rather well. They had welcomed Severus into their home with much enthusiasm, Miriam going so far as to pull Severus into a hug when he first arrived. The look on his face made it all the more difficult for Lily and Mary to contain they laughter.

Miriam was a plump woman of average height with short, brown hair that curled around her chin. Rosy cheeked and dimpled, she had a warm, motherly smile and often smelled of butterscotch or any other assortment of sweets, most likely from her line of homemade baked good scented candles.

Mary's father, Walter Macdonald was a hulking, muscular man with broad shoulders and arms thicker than a person's head, which made for a ridiculous spectacle in the array of sweater vests Walter favored wearing. His blond hair was cut close to his scalp and thick, bushy mustache sat above his upper lip. Never without a tie, the accountant managed to pull off an air of professionalism despite how the bulging muscles rippling under his shirt gave him a dumb jock appearance.

All in all the pair were a lovely, pleasant couple. Laughter came easy for them and their friendliness was always genuine, never feigned. Most eager to meet their daughter's rescuer, they must have asked Mary to send at least a dozen letters over the summer, insisting Severus visit at a moment's convenience.

Not particularly used to making nice with strangers, Severus managed to pull it off rather well. He said please and thank you, smiled politely at all the right times and made some modest attempts at small talk. It was thankful the Macdonalds had so many questions about school, as that was where Severus shined and he slipped back into his old self easily, describing his favorite courses and the complexities of potion brewing. The fact that the very muggle Macdonalds were outright fascinated by anything magical made them a perfect audience.

They thanked Severus profusely for coming to their daughter's aid and inquired on his and Lily's health, but for the most part they steered clear of actual discussions of the attack. Lily suspected it was because they wished avoiding upsetting Mary.

Mary seemed to be doing okay overall, but Lily knew better than to assume things were alright or that they could go back to how things were. Mary's eyes spoke of nightmares much as Lily's and she seemed to have lost a bit a weight. Nevertheless, whatever demons she faced over the attack, it would seem Mary was making a valiant fight to overcome them. Her eyes still sparkled when she smiled and contained the fire burning in them that had endeared Lily to her in the first place. Though she was pale and thinner these days, she was still full of life. Clearly, Mary would be damned if she let Mulciber ruin her life. Lily admired her for that.

Lily's heart went out to Mary for what she endured. The imperious curse was a complex spell and its affects still not fully understood due to the number of conflicting reports by those under its influence. Some victims claimed to remember nothing of their ordeal while under the spell, coming to only after it had been lifted and having no knowledge of how they got there or what they had been doing. Others claimed to be aware the entire time, recalling their fruitless fight to resist every command and the anguish they felt at the futility of it.

Then there were those who described feeling half asleep, a foggy sensation coming over them. They could recall being given commands or directions and complying, but having a vague sense that the direction made no sense. They'd ask themselves why they would be doing such a thing, but ultimately finding no explanation their minds would go blank again and the task would resume.

In the one letter where Mary did discuss the attack, she fell into the latter category. She could only scarcely remember what happened and to be frank she wished not to have anyone fill in the blanks she was still missing. She described it to Lily as feeling like everything had gone fuzzy, like a broken television set, a weird humming noise providing too much distraction for her to focus much on anything. She couldn't exactly feel or see what was going on around her, but she knew something was happening. She was able to grasp that at one point before the fuzziness, she had been scared and she questioned why then she was just sitting there doing nothing. However, no matter how much she thought she  _should_  do something her body remained unresponsive. Then the weird feelings had cleared and she found herself sitting in the compartment with her robes and blouse undone and a flurry of curses flying over her head.

That was all Mary knew and that was all she wanted to know. The Aurors that arrived at the train station requested a statement from Mary shortly after Lily left with Severus to treat his wound at St. Mungos. Mary was able to give them a decent play by play of the events leading up to the actual attack, including Mulciber pointing his wand at her and uttering the curse. To truly hold Mulciber accountable for his actions before the Wizengamot, Lily was asked to provide a memory of the event to compound with Mary's statements. It was all but guaranteed that Mulciber would face lengthy jail time for the confirmed use of an unforgivable; a batty Auror missing part of his nose had said the trial was more formality than anything since they had proof, including what they found when checking the last few spells Mulciber cast.

Avery was the one they had to worry about in the upcoming trial. While his actions were deplorable, the ministry tended to focus more on the spells performed by a wizard more than the actions taken by said wizard with the use of those spells. Avery used less offensive magic to accomplish a very offensive act; Lily worried his barrister would successfully be able to argue leniency for him on those grounds.

"So Mary tells us to two of you are part of the 'Slug Club'," Walter said, shaking Lily from her thoughts, "Is that some sort of club for discussion on potion ingredients or something? You did say animal parts are used in potions."

Severus sighed, "I  _wish_  it was about potions," he huffed.

Lily laughed, bringing up a hand to smother her mirth, "Our professor for potions started the club to build connections with those he thinks are 'destine' for fame and glory. It is really just a chance for him to make connections with future celebrities and invite old alumni to the school to show off the famous people he knows who give him special privileges. His name is Professor Slughorn, so hence the Slug Club."

Mary snickered into her teacup, "Severus Snape having to pretend he finds some old wind bags' accomplishments interesting; how terrible that must be."

"I'll have you know it is the utmost torture," Severus deadpanned.

Mary snorted, tea splashing over the rim of her cup, "Oh, hell!"

"Mary, language," Miriam scolded, looking positively mortified.

"It's okay mum, I think Severus and Lily have heard worst words before," Mary said with a roll of her eyes, "You know, going to a school full of teenagers and all?"

Miriam huffed, "Still, that's no way to talk at the table."

"The…tea table, mum?" Mary asked with a raised brow, her eyes sweeping over the small table on the patio they were sitting at.

"Any table," Miriam insisted firmly, "Now, what's this…Slug club like? You two must be terribly talented to be selected for it."

"Lily and Severus get top marks in just about every class," Mary answered for them, "They're like a dream team in potions."

"Ah, and are the two of you thinking of brewing as a career?" Walter asked good naturedly, "You could open up a nice little shop together," he waggled his eyebrows.

Lily and Severus flushed.

"We're not," Lily stammered.

"It's not like that…" Severus mumbled.

"Oh, quit teasing them, dear," Miriam slapped her husband playfully on the arm, "Mary, why don't you show them around the garden, hm? I'm sure they would love that."

"I'd be more than happy to," Mary said enthusiastically, all too eager to escape her embarrassing parents. As her parents began bringing dishes and cups back into the house, Mary led Severus and Lily across the lawn to her mother's garden.

"We're thinking of having a little water feature go over there, but we haven't plotted it out yet," Mary said, pointing to a half dug segment of dirt, "And over here are mum's favorite flowers. She even put a few seats and an umbrella here so she can sit and enjoy the view."

The trio sat down among clusters of flowers in pinwheel whites and purples. A small rod iron table that was more ornamental than functional sat off to the side just under the umbrella. Overhead, birds chirped from the Magnolia trees and a flock of starlings flew by.

"It's lovely out here, Mary," Lily complimented.

"Thank you," Mary replied, "Say, what'd you do to your arm?" she asked, gesturing to a reddening mark on Lily's forearm.

Lily looked at her arm in puzzlement, "You know, I actually have no clue. Probably scratched an itch too hard."

"We have some cream for that inside," Mary offered. She glanced at Severus nervously, "Um…how do you like the garden, Severus?"

Severus glanced around the garden observantly. Lily knew that flowers and gardens weren't really Severus's thing unless they grew potion ingredients, but she hoped he would mind his words.

"It's…peaceful," Severus concluded eventually, causing Lily to let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding, "The flowers are nice."

Mary smiled, relieved, "Thanks, I helped plant most of them. Mum thinks it's peaceful here too; she always comes out here when she needs to get away from all the chaos. Of course, I grew up used to it, but I suppose an only child like mum misses the days when there wasn't seven of us under one roof."

Severus cocked an eyebrow, "You have siblings?"

Mary nodded, "Four of them, all boys. Mom's just glad that her fifth and final try she got me."

"I've never heard of any other Macdonalds at our school in recent years," Severus pointed out, intrigued, "None of them are magical?"

Mary shook her head, "Nope. Not that they particularly mind. The egos on those four; you'd think they were famous or something," she counted off on her fingers, "Sports pro, science wiz, aspiring actor, they think their professions are far better than 'twiddling a wand' because they work hard for it." Mary snorted, "As if I don't slave over my grades."

"Oh I wouldn't say none of your siblings are magical," Lily said with a cat-like grin.

Mary's face mirrored Lily's, "Oh yes, one of them has certainly found his calling. And dare I say it is of a…mystical persuasion."

Severus eyed the girls, clearly baffled, "Am I going to be let in on this joke or…"

Mary laughed, her voice ringing like gentle bell, "My second eldest brother, Walt is what you could call a charlatan. He's a muggle magician, but he…may have picked up some products each year when my family took me shopping in Diagon Alley."

Severus smirked, "Really?"

Mary smiled cheekily, "Just a few things, nothing big. Teacups that refill themselves, a dustpan and hand broom that sweep the floor for you, a box that makes things temporarily disappear. They're all minor things that just make his act look more convincing to the average muggle."

Lily nodded eagerly, joining in, "Yeah, I've seen his act, it's all very believable if you didn't know about real magic. He drinks from the cup and it refills constantly throughout the show. When he makes confetti or something come out of his sleeves, the dustpan magically cleans it up. But my favorite is his  _Book of Spells_ ," she said the last part dramatically in a low ominous voice.

Besides her, Mary was having a fit of giggles.

"Dare I ask?" Severus inquired.

Mary jumped to his aid, "Walt bought a book that absorbs the ink and hides it from anyone but the owner. So it shows what he's written when  _he's_  holding it, but when he hands it to someone else, the pages all become blank."

"He wrote a lot of Latin phrases in calligraphy all over it," Lily added, "Every page, and he makes a big showing of flashing the pages at his audience. Then he asks a volunteer to come up and he hands them the book and asks them to show it to everyone. The ink fades away faster than anyone can read it. It leaves people amazed."

"So I take it your brother was thrilled when you got your Hogwarts letter?" Severus queried.

Mary shrugged, "Honestly, he and the others thought it was some big joke when mum and dad first told them. I think they were expecting us all to jump up and shout 'gotcha' at some point. They kept telling me it was all fake, right up until we went through the wall at platform 9 ¾."

"I bet they didn't know what to make of that," Severus said.

"They were positively gob smacked," Mary replied, "They recovered pretty quickly, but I think they are under the impression that magic is like it is in fairy tales. They're endlessly teasing me about how I'm going to marry a wizard like from the story books. You know; long robes, huge beard, some old guy."

"Dumbledore?" Severus said.

Mary choked on a laugh, "Good one! But yeah, they're pretty cool with the whole magic thing, though they still think what they do is harder and therefore more impressive."

"I wish Petunia had taken that attitude from the start," Lily complained.

"That's right, your sister didn't take it well," Mary recalled, "How are things? You said in your letters that she's gotten better about magic."

Lily thought about it, "Well she talks to me now without any insults, which is nice. And I honestly feel like I have a sister again," she smiled for a moment, but then it dropped into a pout, "Unfortunately I think Simone's hoity-toity attitude is rubbing off on her. She's suddenly acting all posh. Oh, and she's still bossy."

"That she is," Severus agreed.

Mary laughed, "Well a tiger can't change all its stripes, right? Anyway it must be nice having her around to share in all the fun now."

Lily smiled, "Yeah, it is. She even does the big sister advice thing now. I can come to her with questions and she actually listens to me!"

"Progress!" Mary cheered, "So Severus...how...how are things at your house?"

Severus inwardly cringed; he was hoping to avoid this topic.

"No point in pretending you don't know about my home life," Severus said with a sigh, "It's being...dealt with. Lily's family has been helping me."

"Oh, so the authorities are doing something about it," Mary asked hopefully.

"Pretty much," Severus lied. He didn't feel it prudent to tell Mary about his father's attempt on his life or his new living arrangements. He wasn't ready to open up to Mary just yet.

Mary smiled warmly, "I'm glad. I was really worried." The subject dropped after that, for which Severus was thankful.

The trio spent much of the afternoon going back and forth with various levels of teasing and sarcasm—the latter mostly from Severus—and sharing their own news about how their summers were going. Lily and Severus made no mention of now living together; it would raise too many questions and Severus truly didn't know Mary enough to feel comfortable revealing his trouble family just yet.

It wasn't long before the conversation shifted to Severus favorite past time, mocking James Potter.

"Really?" Mary asked, astonished, "Potter is  _still_  writing to you?"

Lily nodded, "He keeps sending me letters, hidden away in the ones Remus sent. Simone thinks he's got his house elves doing it; they can unseal the envelope and sneak his inside and reseal it before Remus mails it."

"You think the lack of response would tip him off that you don't want to talk with him," Mary said, frowning.

"That's Potter for you," Severus sneered, "Thickheaded to the bitter end. I just think it's pretty underhanded what he's pulling with Lupin. Lupin tells him to respect Lily's privacy, so Potter goes behind his friends back and manages to send his letter through Lupin anyway. I thought he was supposed to be the 'good guy' as he so often claims." It was obvious James was still a sore spot for him, not that Lily could blame him.

Lily sighed, "James doesn't seem to get that there are boundaries he shouldn't be crossing. I mean, the only boundaries he ever seems to recognize are the big ones, like muggleborns being targeted by dark wizards. But violating someone's privacy and sending a slew of letters to harass a girl; barely even a blip on his radar when it comes to morals."

It was true, James certainly did rewrite the rules on right and wrong when it came to what he and his friends did. If a Slytherin hexed a first year it was an outrage, but if Potter and his friends ganged up on and bombarded an unarmed Slytherin that was just them 'putting a snake in their place'. They couldn't seem to grasp that the actions of a few Slytherin didn't negate the actions they took against  _every_  Slytherin. Only Lupin understood it was wrong, but he was too cowed by his friends to do anything.

Mary mulled the whole thing over in her head.

"Maybe you should write back to Potter," she suggested, "tell him to stop writing."

Lily had already thought of that, "I doubt it would work. Even if I tell him to leave me alone, he'll view any response from me as 'progress' and just keep writing trying to win me over. What's that saying? 'Kids view any attention as good attention'? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. At least by not responding he can't claim I gave him some signal of my interests."

"You two would have have very stupid children," Mary deadpanned.

Lily let out a choked snort that morphed into a cough. A quick glance at Severus showed him looking as if he had swallowed something foul.

Lily thumped her chest, trying to end her coughing fit, "I'll have you know that any child of mine would be brilliant simply because of my intellect. As it is, it will be a cold day in hell when I have kids with James Potter. The kid might inherit his big headed ego!"

"There's no guarantee a child will turn out like their father," Severus said sourly. Clearly, he was still worried Lily might choose James over their friendship.

Lily patted Severus hand, "I know that. You're proof of it. But you and James are like apples and oranges."

"And Potter's apple has a nasty old rotten spot in it," Mary declared.

"Exactly!" Lily agreed. She turned back to Severus.

Severus attempted to keep scowling, but his face softened almost unnoticeably so.

"Mary! It's getting dark," Miriam called from the back door, "Would your friends like to stay for dinner?"

"I'm starving," Mary stated, standing up. She turned to Severus and Lily, hands on her hips.

"Well don't just stand there," she said, "Let's eat." She tugged Lily to her feet and beckoned Severus to follow them.

"I am really happy you came, Severus," Mary admitted quietly, walking arm in arm with Lily, "I was worried about you."

"Well as you can see, I'm fine," Severus replied neutrally.

Mary smiled, "I'm glad."

She led her two companions inside for a taste of Miriam's home cooking.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Mundane and unexciting. But isn't it nice to learn more about our characters in the meantime?
> 
> Next chapter will be far more exciting.
> 
> Next chapter we begin...the trial! Bum, Bum, BUM!
> 
> Read and Review loves!


	21. The Trial part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes finally come to the long awaited trial of their attackers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again my friends!
> 
> Today is the much awaited trial...part one that is.
> 
> Sorry, I had to lengthen the scene and it ended up being a monster of a chapter so I split it in half.
> 
> Warning, this chapter (and the next one) will be dealing with heavy material including victims describing attempted rape and attempted murder/ Please be advised.

* * *

 

The day of the long awaited trial arrived as the seventh month died, July 31st on a gloomy, overcast morning. Papers were deeming it the trial of the decade; it had been ages since any prominent pureblood family name was dragged through the mud by a scandal. Having made headlines across the country in the wizarding communities when the story first broke, crowds of reporters and curious onlookers gathered just inside the Ministry's main lobby, hoping to catch a glimpse of anyone.

Aurors escorted Severus and Lily along with the rest of the Evans family into the atrium, shielding them away from the flashing cameras and gawking stares.

"Ms. Evans! Ms. Evans! What do you hope to be the outcome of this trial?" called one reporter.

"Do you think Avery should receive the kiss for his crimes?" shouted another.

"Mr. Snape! Mr. Snape, over here!" yelled one man dancing around with a large, bulky old-fashioned camera, "Can we get a shot of your injury for the papers?"

Severus pulled the collar of his shirt up higher, taking deep breaths. He had been working with Marcus on his issue with crowds in preparation for this day.

Willow wrapped an arm around her daughters, "Goodness, these people are like vultures."

"You'll get used to it," one of the Aurors said, "Reporters are always like this with big trials."

The ushered the group through a set of double-wide doors, the heavy doors shutting loudly behind them. Now in a more private section of the Ministry, the noise of the reporters and the gossips did not follow them.

"You'll be expected to sit up front closest to the prosecutor," one Auror explained, "You're family may come with you, but just know…you'll most likely be called to the stand, so arrange yourself accordingly."

Lily nodded seriously, looking around the lobby with trepidation. Her posture relaxed some when she spotted a familiar face, "Mary!"

Curly brunette hair bobbing as she walked, Mary hurried to Lily's side, pulling her friend into a hug.

"Today's the big day," Mary said with forced cheer. It looked like her cheeks hurt from pretending to smile.

"Yup," Lily replied with feigned cheer of her own, "Lucky us, right?"

Severus shifted from foot to foot, eyes fixed on the lifts that would take them to the trial.

Mary hooked an arm with Lily, "We are so lucky we live in the muggle world. Apparently, this trial is all anyone has been talking about in the Wizarding world. We would have been hounded by people daily!"

Lily grimaced, "It's bad enough we have to go through this, do people really have to make our victory or loss the highlight of their days?"

Miriam leaned over and patted her daughter's back soothingly, "Now, now you three, remember what the authorities said. This trial is practically a formality. They have plenty of evidence against those two."

"Even if they rule them guilty, there is no guarantee they'll get a harsh sentence for it," Mary said sourly, "After all, we're just muggleborns."

"And a halfblood," Severus added, eyes still fixed on the door ahead of them.

"You're also all the top of your class and two of you are also favored by Dumbledore," came a snide voice from behind them, "So buck up."

Simone sauntered towards them in a set of violet robes with gold embellishments, her hair pulled up and over one shoulder. She smiled smugly at Severus, "Think I would miss this?"

Petunia broke out into a relieved smile, "Simone!" she left her family's side and hurried towards the dark skinned girl, "What are you doing here?"

"This is technically a public trial," Simone said casually, "So I thought I would come and show my support. Thea couldn't make it; her folks wouldn't let her come. But she sends her love."

Behind Simone, her father hustled forward with a wide smile on his face and his ridiculous hat complete with fake hair. Following behind him could only be Simone's mother.

She was impossibly tall and slender, only the jutting curves of her hips and ample breasts taking away from the near broomstick look of her thin arms and waist. A dark, aristocratic face sat atop a long elegant neck, high cheekbones decked in golden bronze, full pouting lips stained a deep burgundy. Her eyes were oval and almost cat-like, golden orbs rimmed by heavy kolh and long lashes caressing her cheeks every time she blinked. Dressed in an Azure robe with her plaited hair wrapped and stacked high upon her hair, she looked like a French-African queen.

"This must be the famed Evans family," the woman said, her French accent thick and alluring, "My daughter talks quite a great deal about you all." She offered a finely manicured hand to Willow.

Willow gladly shook her hand, "And you must be Simone's mother."

"Call me Jordane," Simone's mother replied, covering Willow's hand with both of her own and squeezing it warmly, "Your daughter Petunia is a lovely young lady. It truly is wonderful to meet you all."

Willow smiled, "Likewise. This is my husband, Hank."

Jordane turned to Hank, "Lovely to meet you, Monsieur Hank."

Hank flushed crimson at the attentions of the attractive woman.

"L-lovely to meet you too," Hank stuttered.

Willow bit her lip to keep from laughing. She elbowed her husband lightly in the side and turned to Jordane once more, "Men, huh?"

Jordane nodded in amusement, "Indeed, they are quite…colorful characters. But that's why we love them," she placed a hand delicately but tenderly on her husband's shoulder and smiled down affectionately at him.

Ashwin beamed up at his wife before turning to the Evanses, "So, I trust you are all ready for today?"

Lily nodded, "As ready as we'll ever be. This is Mary by the way, and her parents Miriam and Walter."

"Ah yes the other lady from the train," Ashwin nodded at Mary, "I hope you have been well."

Mary smiled weakly, "As well as I can be. I'm just glad my family is allowed to sit in on this," she gestured to a group of four men standing off to the sides talking with the Aurors, "My brothers even all took the day off from work for this."

"Of course they would, you're important to them," Ashwin said kindly, "Now as you all know, the only ones on trial are the accused, so you will not have a barrister. You will most likely be called to the stand to give your accounts of the event, but the Wizengamot is there to ensure Avery and Mulciber's legal aides do not attempt to take the line of questioning too far. This trial is technically open to reporters and the more respected members of society," he gestured to himself and his family, "but to ensure your privacy and safety as minors, certain precautions are being taken and—,"

"What do you mean I can't bring it in?!" a woman's voice squawked in outrage.

Over by the doors, a young woman stood arguing with an Auror. Looking as if she had barely just graduated school, she wore a horrid chartreuse green frock with a furry lime trim and large horn rimmed glasses. Tucked behind one ear was a large peacock feathered quill.

The Auror was clearly losing his patience with her, "I told you ma'am, cameras are not allowed in the room during trial. There's minors involved and their safety must be protected. No pictures in this room, either."

"The Wizarding world has a right to know what goes on in there," the woman insisted, "How can I do that without pictures?"

"Not my problem, lady. Either follow the rules or leave," the Auror walked away, leaving the woman standing there fuming.

Simone pulled Petunia close, "That's Rita Skeeter," she whispered, "she writes for a gossip rag now, but she keeps chasing bigger stories, hoping one will land her a job with the Daily Prophet."

Ashwin gestured towards Rita, "there you have it; no cameras in the trial. They will also be restricting the questions the accused's barristers can ask you about the attack. They will not be allowed to discuss details of what happened; that was already covered in the reports you gave the Aurors and the memories you provided."

"The memories won't be viewed, will they?" Mary asked worriedly.

Ashwin shook his head, "Absolutely not. The most important of the Wizengamot has already seen them for consideration; they will not be shared with the public."

"At this point, the trial is just to get closing statements and give those creeps a final chance to offer up any excuse that might explain their actions; not that it will change the outcome."

"Those miscreants should not even be allowed to breathe air," Jordane said, her accent growing thicker in her anger, "They are a disgrace to civilized society. Animals, just barbaric what they did."

"The trial will now begin," announced an important looking Ministry worker, "Those attending the trial, please, proceed to the lifts."

"That would be us," Ashwin said, ushering everyone towards the door.

"Severus, hey Severus!"

Severus turned to see Davis and Nesme hurrying towards him.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked perplexedly.

"They won't let us in, but we wanted to wish you luck," Davis said with a smile.

Nesme nodded eagerly, "Yes, and we wanted to give you this," she thrust out her her hands and presented Severus with a small four leaf clover.

"Picked it myself this morning," Nesme explained, tucking it into Severus's pocket "the fresher they are, the luckier they'll be." She threw her arms around Severus in a quick hug, "Good luck," she said warmly.

Severus blinked, clearly at a loss for words, "…thanks…" it was odd having more than a scarce few care about him. Friends in plural was not something he could ever say he truly had before now.

Severus followed Lily and the others inside the lift, glancing over his shoulder one last time to see Davis and Nesme waving at him and giving thumbs up.

"Fingers crossed," Nesme said, entwining her middle and pointer fingers on both hands.

The lift doors closed and Severus was whisked away.

When they reached the correct floor, Ashwin guided the group down the hall into the room the trial would take place.

"Confidence, children," Ashwin said in a hushed voice, "Remember to be confident."

People filed into the seats of the audience section in single file. Following the advice of the Auror that escorted them to the ministry, Lily and Severus took their seats in the front row behind where the prosecutor's seat, Lily's family in tow. Mary slid in next to Severus with her family by her side, the girl's face pale with worry.

Simone and her family sat in the row just behind them all, Simone leaning forward to place a comforting hand on Petunia's shoulder and giving Lily and Severus an encouraging smile.

"Psst, Lily!" came a hiss from the back, "Oi, Lily!"

Lily looked behind her only to turn back around to face forward with a groan, "Oh no."

"What?" Severus asked, turning slightly to see behind them.

Several rows back, James Potter was craning his head to be seen over the people in front of him, hissing Lily's name in a harsh whisper and waving. Next to him sat Remus and Sirius. Lupin had the good grace to look mildly embarrassed, smiling apologetically to Severus when their eyes met, while Sirius just gave a smug grin, flashing Severus a mouth full of teeth in an almost canine-like fashion.

"What are they doing here," Lily moaned.

"Potter comes from a prominent family," Simone stated, casting a glance at Potter with an unimpressed air, "And Lupin's dad is a respected member of the Ministry. It's no wonder they were allowed in. I think Black is just here because I heard he's living with the Potters now."

"Lily, it's me," Potter whispered, frantically trying to get her attention.

Lily hid her face in her hands, "Great, now I have to deal with  _that_  going on all trial?" She rubbed at her arms worryingly.

Severus pulled her hands away, "Don't scratch," he chided gently.

"I'm sure he'll shut up once it starts," Mary offered hopefully.

"Doubtful," Severus muttered, watching Potter with distrust. He squinted, "Is that a rat in his pocket?"

"Why would he bring a pet to the trial?" Petunia asked curiously.

Severus stared at Potter suspiciously, "He hasn't got a pet rat."

At that moment, the doors on the far side of the room opened and the Wizengamot, clad in full Ministry regalia, marched in. At the head of the line was Dumbledore and Minister Minchum. Frank Longbottom joined the Wizengamot as a youth representative once again.

Eyes searching the crowd, Frank gave a slight wave to a girl three rows back from Severus's group, whom Severus recognized as Alice Prewett, a friend of Lily's.

Upon noticing Severus, Dumbledore gave a slight tilt of the head in his direction, his eyes twinkling.

"I never know if that twinkle means good or bad for me," Severus griped to Lily.

A ministry official near the center of the room cleared his throat as the Wizengamot took their seats, "The trial of Calix Avery and Magus Mulciber is now in session. Minister Harold Minchum and Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore now presiding."

Minchum took his seat and looked out over the crowd, "Bring out the accused."

A separate door open and Avery and Mulciber were led into the room. Both in minimal hand restraints, several Aurors with their wands at the ready brought them to two chairs in the center of the room. Leading the Aurors was the crazy looking Mad Eye Moody.

Lily sucked in a breath, laying eyes on her attacker for the first time since the train ride home.

Following behind the Aurors were too harried looking men in suits, presumably Mulciber and Avery's barristers.

Moody said something to one of the Aurors and they proceeded to chain Avery and Mulciber down.

"Minister, surely the chains are not necessary," one of the barristers protested.

"Mr. Ophelius, you're 'client' is brought here under some very serious charges," Moody said gruffly. He pointed at Avery, "He's already attempted to kill a classmate; I'd hate to see what he might try to escape Azkaban."

"I want that statement to be stricken from the record!" Ophelius cried, "Alastor Moody is not on the witness stand."

"That will be all, Alastor, thank you," dismissed the minister.

Moody nodded and stepped off to the side of the room, keeping a close eye on the pair of boys in the center.

"Who is representing the accused?" Minchum asked from his seat among the Wizengamot.

"Domino Ophelius, your honor," Ophelius said, "Representing Mr. Avery."

"And Casper Dupain," said the other barrister, "I represent Mr. Mulciber."

Minchum leafed through the stack of papers in front of him, "Calix Avery, you are accused of aggravated assault on a muggleborn, unlawful restraint of a person, use of an unknown, unauthorized, and unlicensed spell, and attempted murder. Magus Mulciber you are hereby accused of aggravated assault on a muggleborn, unlawful restraint of a person, and use of an unforgiveable. How do the defendants plead?"

"Not guilty, Minister," Ophelius replied.

"Not guilty," Dupain echoed.

Minchum raised an eyebrow skeptically, "…Alright, will the prosecutor and barristers make their opening statements so we may begin?"

What followed was a brief but detailed account of the morning in question, presented by the prosecutor. The man thankfully kept details of the attack on Lily and Mary mercifully vague and short, omitting the actual acts while still managing to elude to the nature of the crime. Though he was discreet, his words still made Lily and Mary shrink into their seats as the Wizengamot's eyes would flicker to them as the man spoke.

Lily huddled into Severus's side self-consciously, clinging to his shirt.

After the prosecutor spoke, he brought up the matter of evidence, stating for everyone to hear that the Wizengamot had witnessed two memories taken from Mary and Lily respectively and several eye witness accounts, including, to Severus surprise, one by Remus Lupin, detailing the injury Severus sustained and the sight of Avery leaving the compartment just as Lupin had arrived. The statements were read for all to hear, though segments of what Lily and Mary described in their assaults were left out for their privacy, and the public could not view the memories. The fact that the Wizengamot had viewed the memories was damning enough evidence in the prosecutor's opinion.

After the prosecutor sat down, the two barrister took their turn to plead for their clients' innocence. It was a simpering and conniving act, full of excuses and suggestions that their actions had been misunderstood, that perhaps the spells cast by Severus and Avery during the duel had hit the girls and rattled them enough to alter their perception of previous events. It was sickening if Severus were to put a word to it. Just the very idea that they would suggest Lily's account of what happened was somehow a mistake made Severus boil with rage.

When the barristers sat back down, Minchum leaned back in his chair wearily, unimpressed by the cheap display, "Would the prosecutor like to call his first witness?"

"Yes, Minister," the prosecutor said, "I would like to call Mary Macdonald to the stand."

Mary stiffened up besides Severus. Lily sent her friend a pained smile, reaching over to squeeze her knee comfortingly. As Mary took a deep breath and stood, Severus felt a shirting of his shirt and realized in surprise that Mary had been clinging to it tightly since the trial began.

Mary sat down at the witness stand, rigid but with her head held high.

"Miss Macdonald," the prosecutor began, "Could you describe the day in question?"

Mary hesitated, her eyes glancing around the room at all the spectators.

"Whatever you're comfortable with; we already have your full statement," the prosecutor said kindly, "Take your time."

Mary inhaled deeply, composing herself, "I was riding the train home from Hogwarts with Lily. We had our own compartment to ourselves for once, so we locked to keep others out. Normally when we do that, people take the hint and move on to a different compartment. Well, it was about two hours into the trip home when the door opened suddenly; someone had used their wand to unlock it."

"They came in uninvited?" the prosecutor asked.

Mary nodded, "Yes. I thought it was some of my housemates coming to tease us, but it wasn't."

"Who was it, Mary?" the prosecutor prompted.

Mary kept her eyes fixed on the prosecutor, refusing to look over at the chained occupants of the room, "It was Mulciber and his buddy Avery. They're mean at school so I didn't want them in our compartment. I told them to leave and they wouldn't; they wouldn't let me close the door on them. They disarmed us and took our wands. They just walked on in…then they locked the door behind them…cast some kind of spell that made it hard for people outside to hear us."

"Then what happened?" the prosecutor inquired.

Started saying mean things about us, about our heritage," Mary explained, "They called us mudbloods,"

—several people in the room flinched and others grimaced.

"-and tried to imply we were below them, that we should know our place. It really upset Lily. She got into a row with Avery about how he treats her friend, Severus Snape. He's halfblood and he's really smart. He does well in all his subjects; better than Avery ever does. Lily called Avery out on using Severus; told him that he was nothing compared to Severus and that Avery only gets good grades because he has Severus to do it for him."

Severus turned to Lily in amazement. Had she really stood up for him like that?

Lily refused to look at Severus, staring resolutely at Mary.

"I suppose that angered Mr. Avery," the prosecutor theorized.

Mary nodded, "Yes, he went off on her, try to grab her. She hit him and they started really fighting. Mulciber got a hold of me and kept me from helping her. Then Avery said…" Mary trailed off.

The prosecutor leaned forward, intrigued, "He said…?"

Mary swallowed thickly, her eyes meeting Lily's in the crowd, "He said it was time she do something useful…that's when we tried to run."

Lily shuddered besides Severus, a haunted look in her eyes.

"Avery hit Lily with the a pertrificus totalus," Mary continued, "And Mulciber imperioed me…that's were things got fuzzy."

"Try telling us what you can recall," the prosecutor suggested.

Mary thought long and hard, "…I remember someone touching me. It felt weird…like I wasn't in my own body and yet I was. My skirt…it felt like my clothes were being moved, taken off. I remember wondering why it was happening, knowing I should be scared, that I had just been scared, but I couldn't remember why that was. I couldn't feel any emotion accept confusion…then the spell was lifted and I fell. Severus was throwing hexes back and forth with Avery and Mulciber, yelling at them for what they did. That's when I looked down and…my shirt was open," Mary's eyes welled up with tears, her face red with shame.

In the crowd, Mary's parents huddled together, their eyes wet as her brothers looked on in sadness

"…my skirt was hiked up…I-I…then I realized that they had…" Mary broke off in a sob, her face buried in her hands, "Can I go sit down, please?"

"Of course, Mary," the prosecutor said gently, "Thank you for your courage here today." He made to help her up.

"Not so fast," Dupain said suddenly, "I would like to cross examine the witness."

The prosecutor looked outraged, "The witness is distraught! Surely you can't mean to subject her to—"

"This will only take a moment," Dupain assured, addressing the Wizengamot, "I'll keep it short."

Minchum studied Dupain carefully.

"I'll allow it," he said after a moment's pause.

Dupain approached the stand as the prosecutor looked on angrily. He was a short but slender man with slicked back hair and a receding hairline. He had jutting cheekbones and a pointy chin, giving him a cutting appearance. In fact, he seemed to be comprised primarily of sharp edges, with boney elbows and jutting shoulders that rose up from his collarbone and gave him a vulture-like appearance.

"Miss…Macdonald, was it? How would you describe your relationship with Mr. Mulciber?" Dupain asked.

"There was no relationship!" Mary cried, her face red and puffy from crying, "I hated him. He was terrible to muggleborns at school. He even played this nasty prank on me where—"

"Yes, yes" Dupain cut her off, "But what about early on in your school career? Were you ever nice to him…friendly perhaps?"

"What do you mean?" Mary sniffled, "I don't see how this—"

"Are you saying you never…smiled at him more than other students?" Dupain asked, "Hm? Maybe acted…overly friendly with him?"

"I was just being nice!" Mary said in shock, "Lily is friends with Severus and he's in Slytherin so I thought maybe I should try to be nicer to them too. It wasn't anything more than—"

"You're saying there is no possibility you led my client on?" Dupain challenged.

"Objection!" the prosecutor interjected, glaring daggers at Dupain, "that is speculation and has no relevance to the crime in question."

"Mr. Dupain, you better be going somewhere we this," Minchum warned.

Dupain gave a small, gracious bow to the Wizengamot, "Of course, Minister. Tell me, is anyone here familiar with courtship?"

Silence met his question, but Severus heard Ashwin mutter something angrily under his breath.

"Courtship," Dupain began, "Is an ever changing set of expectations and traditions for pursuing one's intended or desired spouse. While the manners in which it is carried out have changed over the years, none of the previous methods have been actually outlawed or ruled as unacceptable by the Ministry." He turned to the audience, "One such series of courtship rituals involved playful teasing and taunts. Outdated though it may be it is still a valid form of courtship. It is believed that doing so will incense the taunter's intended spouse enough to keep him always in her thoughts, so that she may grow used to his presence and eventually grow fond of him."

"I submit to you, that my client, after receiving many mixed signals over the years by his accuser, acted on matter of the heart and attempted to woo her in this manner. When she lead him on and then spurned his affections, he acted rashly and impulsively. It was a crime of passion, your honors!" Dupain ended dramatically.

"That-that's ridiculous!" Mary stammered.

"No further questions," Dupain said smugly sitting back down.

Mary shakily left the stand and returned to her seat where she was drawn up into her mother's arms.

Mary's brothers and father were seething, hatred in their eyes as they stared at the back of Dupain's head.

"Dirty tactics, the bastard," Severus cursed under his breath.

"Severus," Lily whispered worriedly, "Are they going to try that with me?"

"I don't know," Severus admitted, "Just keep your head up and focus on the facts: Avery is a bad man and he hurt you."

"Next witness?" Minchum prompted, turning to the prosecutor.

The prosecutor, still red in the face with anger and disgust, took a deep breath before responding, "The prosecution calls Lily Evans to the stand."

Alarmed, Lily turned to Severus, her hand gripping his so tight her knuckles were turning white.

"Stay calm," Severus said softly, "You aren't the bad guy here; just keep reminding yourself of that."

Lily gulped, nodding nervously. Slowly she stood up and approached the stand. As she passed Avery she kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at him.

The prosecutor began his questions once she was seated, "Ms. Evans, could  _you_  describe the day in question?"

"It was how Mary described it," Lily answered, pointedly ignoring James waving at her, "We had been alone together in a compartment and Avery and Mulciber unlocked it with a spell and came in. They took our wands when we tried to keep them out. They had their wands out first, though. That's why I drew mine; I was already wary of them."

"And why is that?" the prosecutor asked.

"They practice Dark magic," was Lily's response, "Anyway, they locked the door behind them and spelled the compartment so no one could hear us from outside. They insulted us, threw that nasty word around—I won't repeat it but Mary told you what it was—and made comments about Severus. They said he was useful."

"And that upset you," the prosecutor observed.

Lily nodded, "Yes, they were talking about him as if he were some tool to use, like a quill or a book. He wasn't a person in their eyes, but a thing they could use and exploit to get better grades. I told him off for that; Severus is ten times the wizard they are."

Avery's face remained impassive, but anger burned in his eyes.

"Then Avery attacked me," Lily went on, "so I fought back. I managed to get a good hit on him and that's when he brought up his wand again. He said…what Mary told you he said. He looked at me funny, like up and down my body…I didn't like it, it made me feel sick, so I tried to run and that's when he petrified me."

"What happened after that?" the prosecutor asked.

Lily hesitated. This was the part she was dreading.

"Nothing too explicit," the prosecutor assured her, "just give us a vague idea of what happened."

Lily shifted uncomfortably, "He opened my robe…my shirt…he…well, you can imagine what he did," tears burned her eyes, but she pressed on, "Mulciber was doing the same to Mary and…" she swallowed thickly, scratching at her arms sightly, "I'm sorry, I just need a minute."

The crowd listening raptly, various expression of horror and disgust on their faces. James had dropped his hand and sat stricken in his seat.

Lily resisted the urge to yell at Rita Skeeter as she saw the woman eagerly writing down her every word. Instead she focused on Alice in the fifth row, the kind girl's eyes swimming with sympathy.

Lily's eyes panned over to her family. Petunia, her eyes wet, gave Lily a pained smile.  _'You can do this,'_ she mouthed to her sister.

"By all means take your time," the prosecutor said with understanding.

Lily pulled herself together, "Anyway, that's when Severus came in. He was furious with them. He took out his wand and began dueling them. When he did, it caused the spell on me to drop, so I was free. I took Mary's wand from where Mulciber dropped it and lifted the spell on Mary," she continued to pick the skin on her arm, "By then, the fight was almost out of control. I've never seen Severus so angry. But I'm glad he was, he rescued me."

"Severus stunned Avery and then he took out Mulciber…I was just so relieved that I hugged him, I was so scared," Lily's voice shook; she took a moment to calm down, "That's when Avery attacked him while he wasn't looking. Avery used a spell to slash Severus's throat…he and Mulciber talked about oblivating us, but they heard voices coming down the hall so the cowards ran off just as Remus and his friends arrived…Sev was in really bad shape. He was so pale…blood was everywhere!" Lily cut herself off, waving a hand in front of her face as is to dispel the image from her mind, "I'm sorry, I need another minute." Every second in Avery's presence was awful. It felt like the walls were closing in on her.

The prosecutor gently touched her shoulder, "That won't be necessary. You've told us what you need to. You may return to your seat."

"N-now wait just a minute," Ophelius said timidly, standing up on unsteady feet, "It is my right to cross examine the witness."

"Ms. Evans, are you able to sit trial for more questions?" Minchum asked Lily.

Lily sat up straight and looked Ophelius in the eye, "Yes."

Ophelius was an oily faced man of skin and bones with watery eyes and tweedy hair. Where Dupain had been slick as a snake oil salesman, Ophelius was nervous and twitchy as a mouse. He spoke with no conviction, walked with no confidence, and overall was just a poor excuse for a barrister.

From the way Ophelius kept casting fearful glances at his client, Severus suspected that the nervousness was out of fear of failing Avery and suffering the consequences.

"Ms. Evans, what is the nature of your relationship with Severus Snape?" Ophelius asked.

"He's my best friend," Lily replied easily, glad to finally have something pleasant to think about.

"Really," Ophelius asked, checking the notepad in front of him, "Because I was informed by my client that you and Mr. Snape had ended your friendship weeks earlier."

"We had a falling out." Lily stated.

"Over what?" Ophelius pried.

"…because I didn't agree with the people he was involved with. Namely, your client," Lily said honestly.

"O-oh," Ophelius responded. Clearly, he had been hoping Lily would say something else. He tried to get the subject back towards his goal, "Was there anything else you disagreed with? Perhaps his interest in Dark Magic?"

"Yes," Lily admitted, "I had heard bad things about Dark magic and I didn't want him involved in it."

"I see," Ophelius said, "And so how is his interest dark magic any different than Avery's?"

"Because I now know that there is a fine difference between studying something to better understand it and using it for cruel fun," Lily said wisely, looking over at Simone, "In order to protect ourselves from dark magic, we should know dark magic. That's what Severus was doing. But Avery, he just loved using dark spells on people to hurt them for fun."

"I-I see," Ophelius stammered, looking to his client in worry.

Avery narrowed his eyes at his barrister just a fraction.

Panicking, Ophelius searched his notes, "Ms. Evans, do you know the spell Mr. Avery allegedly used?"

Lily paused, her eyes going to Severus, "Not until that day, no."

Ophelius deflated, "Really?"

Lily nodded, "Yes I only heard of it when Avery used it."

"So you don't know where it came from," Ophelius pushed.

"That's not what you asked me," Lily pointed out.

"Well I'm asking you now," Ophelius snapped.

Lily leveled her gaze at Ophelius and sat up tall, her head held high, "It came from an old used potion's book. That's what I know."

Severus resisted the urge to grin. Technically Lily wasn't lying, that's where it was written. And she had cleverly said it was what she knew, not  _all_  that she knew. Clever girl.

Ophelius seemed to cave in on himself. Clearly, he hadn't caught the subtly of Lily's words, "Very well, you may step down." He avoided looking at Avery as he scurried back to his seat.

Lily walked back to her seat and for the first time all trial, she locked eyes with her attacker. Faltering slightly, she forced herself to maintain her gaze, glaring hotly at Avery before returning to her seat. Her eyes burned and her throat was tight, but she would not let him see her cry. She took her seat next to Severus and slumped down with a breath of relief.

Ophelius scrambled through his notes, mopping his sweaty brow with a clammy hand, "I-I would like to call a witness to the stand."

Minchum nodded, "Very well, who do you call?"

"I call Severus Snape,"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I had to take some liberties on how a wizard trial would go. The one Harry underwent in book five was clearly a unfair one with the intent to rule him guilty, so I feel they may have horrible shortened or changed even their own legal practices to try and rig it. So I pretty much had to make up my own court proceedings.
> 
> Are any of surprised Potter would be there? I'm not.
> 
> I'd talk more, but I woke up late and have work to go to!
> 
> Read and review!


	22. The Trial part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape is called to the stand and one of the accused shows his true colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned!
> 
> So...a lot of drama in my life recently. A LOT of drama.
> 
> First off, my new job is now my former job; I had to quit when I realized they intended for me to work only four hours a day on minium wage while traveling an hour or more to different facilities to teach. Meaning, I would be getting paid LESS than I was spending a day on gas money. So yeah,, that couldn't work. Thankfully I still have my part time job to fall back on to keep some income coming. But I am still on the hunt for a full time job with reasonable mileage.
> 
> second drama, an abuser in my life, a part of my family, is now expecting a baby with their significant other. It was an accidental pregnancy and they intend to keep it despite having no income between the two of them and a history of abusive behavior. Aaaand of course my family is going on and on about being supportive and I'm just sitting over here wanting to yell "Hello! Do you not remember what they did to me? Or what they do to us all now? Do you not remember the hospitalizations, the arrests, the sobbing calls to police, wrestling knifes out of people's hands and dogs searching in the woods? And now you trust them to raise a child?! I wouldn't trust them with a cactus!"
> 
> ...ahem
> 
> it feels good to vent to you guys. I swear, I love you all so freaking much!
> 
> And for anyone wondering why this person isn't behind bars...the answer lies in their mental illness, a piss poor mental healthcare system in my country, enabling parents, and good lawyers (provided by enabling parents). SO yeah I'm sure by now some of you may read of my struggles and think it so dramatic and awful it could only be a work of fiction, but unfortunately it's my every day life. So believe me when I say expressing myself to all of you is a much needed therapy, even if I have to take the name of this person to my grave due to family wanting to keep anonymity. Seriously, I've already been warned by my mom that if I plan to write a biography of my life, I will have to change my name in order to not incur the wrath of family who hurt me.
> 
> Anyway, enough with the dark, on with the trial...which I realize is just as grim, but let's do it anyway! *fanfare*

* * *

 

There was a tittering among the crowd, people were whispering to each other frantically as the reporters up front scribbled furiously in their notebooks. Potter and Sirius huddled together while Remus did his best to ignore their immaturity.

Severus stood up and calmly proceeded to the stand. Maintaining eye contact with Ophelius—who began to look more unsure by the minute—Severus sat down.

"Mr. Snape," Ophelius began. He looked through his notes and drew himself up to his full height, having found something he could work with, "Mr. Snape, do  _you_  know the origin of the spell used on you by Avery?"

"Yes," Severus said, "I invented it."

The crowd broke out into a fresh wave of whispers and Minchum was forced to ask for silence.

Ophelius raised a brow, looking around to gauge everyone's reactions, "You invented it? That's a rather dangerous spell wouldn't you say?"

"That's a matter of opinion," Severus argued casually, "It could cut paper, cut down weeds, it has many uses."

"But you invented it to cause harm," Ophelius argued back.

"I invented it for protection," Severus stated evenly, "there are a number of…classmates who wish me harm, the spell was intended to defend myself."

Across the room, James was glaring at him, his eyes full of suspicion and distrust.

"I also invented the spell Avery used to block out sound to the outside," Severus went on, "That's why I could recognize the subtle sound it gives off. I invented it because I was constantly being spied on and followed. I wish to keep my secrets as just that, secrets."

"Do you invent spells often?" one member of the Wizengamot asked, her eyes glowing with intrigue and fascination, "You're so young."

"I've invented a few. Most of them are simple childish things, a toenail hex, things of that sort, but I have dabbled in defensive and dueling spells. I also created a spell that sticks an opponent's tongue to the roof of their mouth temporarily; it prevents them from casting spells."

"Amazing," the Wizengamot member said. There was murmuring of agreement around her.

Ophelius looked around warily, he was losing the room, "Mr. Snape, is it true you used to be friends with Mr. Avery?"

"Friends isn't what I'd call it," Snape deadpanned, "He used me for my skills in class and in exchange he promised me protection from those that harassed me…not that he ever followed through."

"But you were well acquainted?" Ophelius prompted.

"Yes," Severus conceded.

"You two shared a love of the Dark arts," Ophelius stated.

"Mine was purely academic," Severus replied.

"You love a lot of dark things, don't you Mr. Snape? Enough to maybe have once considered joining someone the Ministry has been very eager to catch…?"

"May I remind you that Mr. Snape is not on trial here, Mr. Ophelius," Dumbledore pointed out. His voice was merry and causal, as if he were correcting someone on what time it was, but that just seemed to make it more condescending. Severus smirked inwardly.

Ophelius stepped back, embarrassed, "…yes. Um…" he glanced at his client, "The point I feel we should focus on is that the spell used on Mr. Snape was invented by Mr. Snape himself. If he hadn't invented it, none of that would have happened. Who's to say anyone but Mr. Snape even knew what it did?...that's all, Minister." Ophelius hurried back to his seat.

The prosecutor strode up to the stand, not even bothering to ask first.

"Severus, did Avery know the intent of that spell?" he asked.

Severus nodded, "I believe he did. He aimed for my throat with it, would seem a little strange to aim there specifically without knowing what the spell would do; normally one aims for the chest for most dueling spells. He must have known it would cut me," Severus rubbed at his neck, praying that the bruised imprint of his father's hands had faded from around the scar Avery left him; the last thing he needed was to have his home life brought up in trial yet again, "Besides he got it from my potions book."

"You wrote it in your potions book?" the prosecutor asked, "What did you label it as?"

"It said 'for enemies,'" Severus said.

Potter and Black were whispering furiously with each other now, sending him distrustful glares.

Severus looked up at the Wizengamot, "Like I said, it was intended to protect me from those trying to hurt me. It was a last resort if anything."

"So Avery would have had to see that when he found the spell?" the prosecutor asked.

Severus nodded, "Yes."

The prosecutor tilted his head in thought, "Severus, you were once associated with Mr. Avery and his friends, correct?"

"Yes," Severus said.

"What changed?"

"They were going to hurt innocent people," Severus said, "I admit I wanted those who hurt me to get what they deserved, but they wanted to hurt everyone…even those who did nothing to them," he glanced at Lily.

"Were you ever on a…dark path?" the prosecutor inquired.

Severus sighed, "I used to be. I wanted to get back at those who hurt me and be recognized for my skills."

The prosecutor stroked his chin, "Why did you turn away from that path?"

"I do not agree with rape," Snape said bluntly, making several people flinch, "Or sexual assault, or murder. I wanted cruel people to get theirs, but not like that. And going after innocent people wasn't what I had in mind."

Lily smiled at him as their eyes met, before Severus swept his gaze across the room. He looked at Simone, her smug calm replace by a tender softness, looking at him with something like pride. The clover in Severus's shirt almost felt warm to him, his thoughts going to his friends in the atrium, his friends at school.

"I realize now that there are kind people who can find worth in me and that I don't need Avery or his false promises."

"Severus Snape would you swear under Veritaserum that you are not in league with He Who Must Not be Named?" the prosecutor questioned.

Severus looked out over the crowd. His eyes wandered to Lily and she smiled at him. With conviction burning in his eyes, Severus looked to the Wizengamot, "Yes."

"Let it be shown that Mr. Snape would swear on Veritaserum," the prosecutor said, "Whatever reason Mr. Snape had for making the spell, it was Avery's decision to use it, knowing full well that it could cause harm. The inventor of the spell is irrelevant, all that matters is that Avery used it to nearly kill Mr. Snape and then fled the scene. No further questions."

Severus left the stand and sat back among the crowd. Lily slipped her hand into his own and smiled at him.

Ophelius apparently wasn't ready to give up, "I would like to question…Mr. Avery."

"Very well," Minchum said. With a flick of his wand, the chair holding Avery slid to forward.

Ophelius approached his client, "Mr. Avery, did you attack Lily Evans?"

"No," Avery said calmly.

Next to Severus Lily's mouth dropped open.

"But what about the account she gave the Aurors," Ophelius asked, "and the memory?"

"All a big misunderstanding," Avery stated.

Ophelius titled his head in feigned curiosity, "Please explain."

"It was all a game between us," Avery said with a smirk, "You see, those girls have been after me and Magus for years. After our money, you know? They've been flirting for all long as I can remember."

"Lies, lies, lies," Lily hissed under her breath. She clenched her fists in her lap, her eyes burning with hate.

"So we have this game we play with them," Avery went on to say, "We come in, rough them up, play the whole hostage game with them, use some spells to make it more authentic. It excites them. Then Snape walked in and jumped to the wrong conclusion and Evans made up this whole assault story out of it to hide what she and Mary were really up to. Trust me, she wanted it."

There was more murmuring among the crowd. Mary looked ill while her parents and Lily's family looked about ready to leap out of their seats and throttle Avery.

"So Mr. Avery, have you ever intentionally hurt a muggleborn?" Ophelius asked.

"Never," Avery said.

"Would you swear this under Veritaserum?" Ophelius asked, taking the prosecutor tactic.

"Yes," Avery said confidently.

' _Call his bluff,'_  Severus thought, incensed _, 'Call his bluff.'_

"Let it be known that my client would swear this under Veritaserum," Ophelius declared, looking quite pleased with himself, "This was all a grave misunderstanding."

"You're honors, Miss Evans and Miss MacDonald's accounts of the event were taken under strict supervision of trained aurors," the prosecutor objected, "Neither seems capable of fooling trained professionals. You wouldn't even need Veritaserum to see if they were telling the truth or not. Plus there is the account Mr. Snape himself gave as a witness."

Ophelius turned to his client, prompting Avery to speak.

"Snape lied in his account because he's jealous his 'friend' is more interested in me than him," Avery stated, "He's always been obsessed with Evans. The whole school knew it."

"I submit a document of signatures from Hogwarts students, attesting to Mr. Snapes fixation on Mis Evans," Ophelius handed over a form to the minister.

 _'No doubt friends of Avery's trying to save his ass and throw me under the bus,'_ Severus thought sourly,  _'I wouldn't put it past Rosier or Wilkes to threaten some to sign it.'_

"With all due respect, barrister Ophelius, one cannot truly consider the signatures of students evidence without a thorough questioning of each of them to assure their words do not stem from any biases," Minchum said disinterestedly.

"Of course, your honor," Ophelius said with a bow.

Severus frowned. He knew the signatures didn't need to be official evidences to sway the trial. All it would really take is enough of the Wizengamot to doubt Snape's own trustworthiness for Avery to walk.

"No further questions," Ophelius said, sitting down.

"May I question this…client of yours?" the prosecutor asked.

Ophelius looked at him warily, knowing he couldn't refuse. Gesturing towards Avery, he let the prosecutor have his way.

"Mr. Avery," the prosecutor approached Avery, "You expect us to believe that what you did to Ms. Evans was consensual?"

"It doesn't matter what you believe, that's what happened," Avery said smugly.

"You do recall that we have Lily's memory and it paints a very disturbing picture," the prosecutor pointed out.

"That's what it showed, but it was taken out of context. Evans wanted me to do it, she just didn't give you the memory of her planning this all out with me," Avery thought himself very clever.

The prosecutor was not impressed, "Really? Tell me, what do you know about memories viewed in a pensive?"

Avery shrugged, "I know enough."

"Did you know that emotions can be imprinted on the memory?" the prosecutor asked.

Avery shrugged again, "I may have heard that before."

The prosecutor cyed Avery critically, "In the pensive the Wizengamot used, they felt fear, anger," he stopped and leaned down to Avery, "Revulsion. That hardly sounds like desire and want to me."

"It's still up for debate whether pensives truly display or capture the recollection's feelings," Avery said, unperturbed, "The only way to truly know the feelings of a memory are to view them directly from the person's mind."

"Experts viewed the memories," the prosecutor said, "They all felt the same emotion from the pensive; it is doubtful it was anything other than genuine fear felt on Miss Evans's part."

"Then Snape messed with the memory before Evans gave it to you," Avery countered, "He was always dabbling in dark stuff. He's probably skilled in the mind arts by now. I personally wouldn't be surprised if he had obliviated Evans and then fabricated a different story because he was jealous she preferred me."

Severus was seething. He could hear speculative chatter around him, people questioning Avery's words; considering Severus's possible motives and allegiances.

"The Aurors, Ms. Evan, Ms, Macdonald, and Remus Lupin can attest that Severus Snape was unconscious and barely clinging to life from the moment you used that spell. The memory was collected at the scene and he never woke up during that time. How would he be able to alter it?"

Avery didn't answer.

"No further questions," the prosecutor said, not yet defeated, "I would like to call Mr. Mulciber to the stand."

Dupain looked rattled; it was obvious he been intending the "role play" excuse too and had forgotten that detail about memories. While the room seemed split on who to believe now, there was still the chance just enough people would trust the memories over Mulciber's word.

Minchum waved his wand and sent Avery's chair back to the center of the room and brought Mulciber's forward.

Mulciber didn't not wear the self assured air Avery had. He was pale, ashen faced with heavy bags under his eyes. It was clear he hadn't expected to be caught for his reckless and heinous actions and the time in custody had not been kind to him.

Seeing the meek way Mulciber presented himself the prosecutor walked up to him confidently, "Good afternoon, Mr. Mulciber. I have a few questions for you."

Mulciber gulped.

"You're friend says that what happened between you and Ms. MacDonald was apparently consensual. Would you agree with that assessment?"

"Yes," Mulciber said weakly.

"But how can that be," the prosecutor probed, "Supposedly what you and Mr. Avery did was a part of a mutual sexual desire between you and the girls; a wish to all enjoy yourselves. Yet you used imperio on Miss MacDonald; a spell known to dullen ones senses and awareness, maybe even prevent them from being aware at all. Tell me...how would Mary enjoy your 'role play' if she was barely conscious?"

Mulciber moved his mouth wordlessly.

"Not willing to answer that one?" the prosecutor asked, "How about this one," he circled Mulciber like a shark, "were you aware that the unforgivables are illegal and punishable by imprisonment in Azkaban?"

"I…I…" Mulciber began.

"Of course you did," the prosecutor said smugly, "that's why you got a barrister; because you knew you would need it for a charge like  _that_. Tell me," he crouched down next to Mulciber, smile like the kneazle that caught the cornish pixie, "What made you think it was okay to use an unforgivable on Ms. Macdonald?"

"I…" Mulciber began, looking at his barrister for help, but finding none, "I…"

"Please answer the question," the prosecutor insisted.

Mulciber was white as a sheet, "I…"

"Answer the question!"

"It was all Avery's fault!" Mulciber cried suddenly, "He imperioed me! He must have. I would never do anything like that otherwise. Avery's bad news, you know," he pleaded to the Wizengamot, "He's into all that evil stuff. Him and the dark lord; they made me do it!"

"Mr. Mulciber, are you saying you are in league with he who must not be named?" Minchum asked sternly.

"Unwillingly!" Muciber lied, "I never wanted to side with that madmen, I swear. I'll tell you anything. Names, secrets; just let me go!"

"You traitor!" roared Avery. He began struggling against his restraints, "How dare you! He promised you power, promised you wealth and this is how you repay him?!"

His chair lurched forward dangerously and several people in the room screamed. Aurors rushed over to Avery to restrain him.

"Order," Minchum cried, "Order in the court."

Avery's chair tipped forward again, and he began to yank furiously on his chains, trying to free his arms.

Moody approached, his wand drawn, "Come on, you great fool. Try and take your best shot at me!"

Severus and Lily stared at Avery in shock as mayhem broke out around them. Simone reached forward and wrapped an arm around Petunia and Severus, sandwiching Lily between them as the dark skinned girl drew her wand and kept it fix warily on Avery. Her parents drew their own and placed a protective hand each on their daughter.

"He can't get free," Ashwin assured everyone, "Moody would never let that happen."

"I want my clients words to be stricken from the record," Dupain shouted.

"My client's as well," added Ophelius.

Avery continued to spew venom at Mulciber, "You're a coward, Magus. A bloody coward. You'll get yours,  _he'll_  see to that. Mark my words."

"Keep talking, boy," Moody goaded, "Let them all see your true colors."

The Aurors immobilized Avery and removed him from the chair, levitating him out of the room. Mulciber being dragged after him.

"Coward!" Avery continued to scream, "You'll pay for this!"

"Order," Minchum demanded of the panicking crowd, "I want order—for goodness sake  _sit down!_ " he shouted to someone in the back.

A very chagrinned James and Sirius ducked back down into their seats, putting their wands away with embarrassed grins. They had been halfway over the bench in front of them before the minister saw them, eager to join the fray.

"I do believe a short recess would be in order," Dumbledore suggested politely.

Minchum nodded, "Yes. I suppose we've heard all we need to hear on this. We must deliberate anyway." He slapped his gavel down, "We'll have a short recess and return with the verdict!"

 

{page break}

 

"Should it be taking this long?" Simone complained, "I mean, we all know they're guilty. Especially after that performance."

"Do not worry,  _mon petite serpent_ ," Simone's mother cooed, wrapping her arms around her daughter, "I'm sure those scoundrels will get what they deserve."

"They better," growled one of Mary's brothers.

"Avery pretty much hung himself with that confession," Severus mused, "Any possibility of him being ruled innocent would be damned by his admitted association with You-Know-Who."

Mary turned to Severus, hoping mingling with fear in her eyes, "You really think so?"

Severus nodded, "He outed his allegiance with the most wanted Wizard in all of Britain. I don't think the Wizengamot is going to pass up an opportunity to put him behind bars and use him for information."

"Severus is right," Simone added, "His barrister can ask that it be stricken from the record all he wants, but there is no way they can just ignore such a damnable confession."

"What about the other one," Walter MacDonald asked, "He tried to claim he was forced into all this."

Ashwin shook his head, "Won't do him any good, he essentially admitted to knowing You-Know-Who. Even if the ministry bought that imperius excuse, he turned on his master. He'd be safer in Azkaban at this point."

"Severus!" Nesme rushed over to the group, Davis hot on her heels. She gave Simone a quick hug and a courteous nod to the others.

"Everyone is talking about what happened in there," Nesme exclaimed, "Did Avery really say he was working for You-Know-Who?"

"Something like that," Severus answered.

"That must have been something," Davis said, "Think he'll go to Azkaban?'

"Only time will tell," Ashwin said.

The teens sat with their parents for the next ten minutes in anxious anticipation. Hostile looks from Simone kept Potter and his gang from coming over. Severus noted that Peter was with them now, twitchy as ever. The rat Potter had been carrying in his pocket must have hidden in the recesses of Potter's clothes as Severus couldn't see it now.

Just when they thought the wait would go on forever, the doors to the court room opened and two Aurors came out.

"The trial will now continue," one of them said.

Everyone rose to their feet.

"Good luck in there, you guys," Nesme called, watching them all walk back inside.

Davis stood besides her with a grim face, "Those jerks better get theirs," he said.

The others reentered the court room quietly, their eyes roving over the room. The Wizengamot were all still seated in their raised platform, looking down over the crowd. The chairs in the center of the room were empty.

Dupain and Ophelius sat close together with their heads pressed together, whispering to each other. On the other side of the room, the prosecutor sat primly in his chair, leafing through his notes.

Minchum waited until everyone was seated again to proceed, "We will now commence with the ruling. Bring in the accused."

There was a commotion in the hall just outside the courtroom; raised voices and the sound of a struggle. After a few minutes of clamor, a group of Aurors emerged, this time larger than the last group whole brought the accused out.

Avery was dragged in between no less than five Aurors, each with a wand trained on him as they pushed him along. He looked deranged, his hair disheveled and a fire burning in his eyes that promised pain for any who fell into his gaze. His arms and legs were chained extra this time and he had to be practically dragged into the room due to the weight.

Mulciber was brought in shortly after. Pale as a sheet and wide eyed with fear, kept his eyes forward, staring blankly into space as if lost to his own terrible thoughts. He still bore the same amount of chains as before, having put up little fight by comparison.

This time the pair were not forced into the seats instead left to stand midst their armed guard, hands pinned to their sides and legs bound together with chains only long enough to permit small steps.

Minchum leveled his heavy gaze at the pair, " Magus Mulciber you are accused of aggravated assault on a muggleborn, unlawful restraint of a person, and use of an unforgiveable. You're defense of this being a form of primitive and outdated courtship is, in our opinion, unlikely and implausible, your use of an unforgivable irredeemable and your actions reprehensible. On the charge of aggravated assault, we find you...guilty. On the charge of unlawful restraint...guilty. On the charge of using an unforgivable...guilty. It accordance with our laws you will hereby serve out your sentence in Azkaban prison. A hearing will be held within a days time to determine the length of your sentence." Minchum waved his hand, "Take him away."

Mulciber looked so horrified his knees nearly gave out from under him. Manhandled by the Aurors surrounding him, he was tugged along out of the room, his barrister following after him, shamefaced.

There was a sniffle to Severus left. Mary collapsed into her mother's arms, tears of relief pouring down her face as she huddled in the older woman's embrace.

"Calix Avery, you are accused of aggravated assault on a muggleborn, unlawful restraint of a person, use of an unknown, unauthorized, and unlicensed spell, and attempted murder," Minchum said, directing his attention to Avery, "In light of your...enlightening revelation here today, it is our decision that you be found...guilty on all charges. A hearing will be held within—"

"You fools," Avery hissed, "You blithering idiots."

"Mr. Avery I advise you hold your tongue or you will be found in contempt," Minchum warned.

"You think this means anything?" Avery asked, "You think your prison can hold me? I have been a loyal follower of his and when he takes over, I shall be at the front of his new world. He'll break me out, you'll see," he began to struggle towards the Wizengamot, "You'll all see."

The Aurors grabbed a hold of his chains, pulling him back.

"Enough out of you," Moody growled, waving the Aurors to take him away.

Avery turned his attention to the crowd, his eyes falling on Lily and Severus.

"You..." he hissed, straining against his chains to reach them, "You think this is over? You did this to me, Snape. You turned down a future unlike your wildest dreams and for what? A mudblood whore! You're a fool, Snape!"

Lily clung to Severus's side as Avery struggled towards them. Severus kept his face impassive, meeting Avery's hateful glare head on, fingering his wand where it lay hidden in his sleeve.

"You'll pay for this, Snape," Avery promised, his teeth bared in a snarl, "Mark my words, this isn't over. It isn't!" he shouted as he was dragged away, "It isn't!" the doors thudded ominously behind him leaving the court room in silence.

{page break}

"How long do you think their sentences will be," Lily asked outside the court room.

"Probably life," Simone mused, "However long that's going to be; Azkaban is brutal."

"Life sentences are common for the use of an Unforgivable," Severus added, "and Avery all but confirmed him and Mulciber are working for You-Know-Who; the ministry will probably fight to keep them in custody for the rest of their days."

"I'm just glad it's over," Mary said wearily.

Severus and Lily said nothing; they didn't want to ruin Mary's mood by pointing out that she'd probably still have a long road to recovery from the attack.

Nesme patted Mary's back in a motherly fashion; a habit she tended to display around those who were upset.

"Lily!" called a feminine voice, "Mary! Over here!"

A found faced girl with a brunette pixie cut pushed her way through the departing crowd, waving frantically.

"Oh, Alice," Lily said in recognition, "You came to see the trial?"

Alice finally broke free of the crowd and rushed over. She pulled Lily into a hug and then did the same to Mary, holding both of them tightly in turn, "I was required to see the proceedings as a part of my Auror training," she said, pulling back, "and Frank's mother has enough weight to throw around in the ministry; she brought me."

"So, you know what happened then," Lily said sadly. While the story had been in all the papers, Lily had still hung onto the futile hope that maybe her classmates and friends wouldn't read the headlines.

Alice smiled sadly, but there wasn't a hint of pity in her gaze, "You have been so brave, Lily. Both of you," she added, looking at Mary, "No one should go through what you went through and it's terrible you had to relive it today. I just wanted you to know, no matter what jerks like that barrister Dupain said,  _nothing_  you did caused this. You have nothing to be ashamed of; those bastards do."

Lily returned Alice's smile with a sad, pained one of her own, "Thanks, Alice," she said.

"Owl me if you two ever need to talk," Alice said, "I have to go find Frank so—oh! Before I forget," she turned to Severus, taking his hands in her own.

"Thank you for helping them," she said sincerely.

Severus was stunned, "Uh...no problem?"

Alice didn't release Severus's hands right away. She stared into his eyes for a long time in silence, leaning into his personal space. Just as it was beginning to make Severus uncomfortable, Alice stepped back with a smile.

"Oh, he's a good one," Alice said with a nod, "I can tell these sort of things; I'm a great judge of character. You're a good person, Snape. Prickly, but good. Lily was right about you. Sorry other people didn't see it.

Severus blinked, "Um...thank you for the vote of confidence..."

Alice grinned, "I should get going. Write to me, you two," she added to Lily and Mary. With a wave she disappeared into the crowd.

Lily glanced around the atrium, taking in the stragglers that were still loitering nearby. Some bold reporters were lingering still, kept away from Lily and her friends by the looming presence of the Aurors, but clearly hoping for their vigilance to drop so that they could swoop in to ask questions.

Lily's eyes landed on the far side of the room.

"Oh no," she muttered, causing Severus to turn around to see what was bothering her.

Potter stood over in the corner of the room looking their way. Realizing he had Lily's attention, he ran a hand through his hair and smoothed out his shirt and pants. It was obvious he intended to come over.

"The last possible thing I need right now," Lily muttered out of the corner of her mouth, attempting to melt into the wall behind her.

"I could hex him if you want," Severus offered, secretly hoping she would say yes.

Simone craned her neck around her parents to get a glimpse of Potter and his pals, "What's Lupin doing?" she asked curiously.

Unnoticed by his friends, Lupin was carefully slipping his hand into the satchel James had brought with him. Clearly trying to move as little as possible, he crept his hand low into the bag, looking for something. Finally, his eyes lit up in satisfaction as he withdrew his hand, something clasped inside it.

With a nod towards Lily, Lupin opened his palm and a golden snitch flitted up into the air and hovered above his head.

"James," Lupin called just as Potter was about to waltz over to Lily, "I think your snitch got loose."

"What?" James asked, tipping his head back. His eyes widened in alarm when he caught sight of the golden orb, "Oi!"

James swatted at the snitch, but it was too high to reach. Fluttering back and forth like a startled bird, it took off down the hallway.

"Bugger it all," James growled, "It'll take me ages to nick another one. Guys, help me catch it."

James took off after the snitch, Peter and Sirius hot on his heels, the latter hooting with wild laughter.

Remus stayed behind. Once the coast was clear, he walked over to Lily and her friends.

"Sorry about that lot," Remus said, titled his head in the direction his friends had fled, "James was really just going to ask how you were faring, Lily. I just figured you had had just about enough of that question since all this happened."

"And you'd be right," Lily agreed, "I'm sure James means well, but I frankly don't have the patience for him and his antics right now."

Remus nodded, "So congratulations on winning the trial," he turned to Severus, "And to your recovery. I trust you are well, Snape?"

Severus nodded curtly, "Better than before," was all he offered for an answer.

Remus smiled, "glad to hear it," he turned back to Lily, "I didn't want to ask around James, but I was hoping you had given some thought to my invitation, Lily. Would you like to come visit?"

"Oh," Lily said, surprised, "Well I…" she chanced a glance at Severus, each thinking about her recent confession about being around boys.

"I'm sorry to pester you about it," Remus added, "I just don't have many visitors aside from Sirius, James, and Peter and it would be nice to have you visit seeing as we have so many things in common and seeing as how you are familiar with my…living arrangements."

' _You mean how I know you're a werewolf,'_ Lily thought. It was with a great sadness and pity that she considered how little friends Remus truly had. He had plenty of friendly acquaintances at Hogwarts, but only three people he felt safe enough in inviting over, all because of the fear of someone finding out his secret. And now he was offering his blind trust to Lily to be his friend in a way only three people before her ever were.

"I'd love to visit you, Remus," Lily said warmly.

Lupin's face broke out into a big, relieved grin, "Wonderful. I'll have to let mum, know so she can prepare dinner. What day works for you?"

"The weekends, preferably, "Lily," replied, "But I would like to ask a favor."

"Name it," Remus said agreeably.

"I would like to bring Severus with me," Lily proclaimed, placing a hand on Severus's shoulder.

Severus blinked, "What?"

Even Lupin looked confused.

"He's still recovery," Lily fibbed, "and I would like to keep an eye on him. It eases my mind, you see, to be the one looking after him. Right Sev?" she fixed Severus with a pointed stare.

"Oh…" Severus began, connecting the dots, "Yes…right."

"I promise he'll be on his best behavior," Lily said, ignoring the glare Severus sent her way, "I just would like to have him in my sights, you know?"

Lupin glanced between the two, "Well," he began, "I suppose that would be okay. You don't mind, do you Snape?" He looked a little unsure.

Severus hesitated. Honestly, he still wasn't in a forgiving mood with the wolf, but one look at Lily crushed his resolve as she stared pleadingly at him.

Severus sighed, "It's fine," he relented, "And you might as well call me Severus. Snape's my father and I'd rather not be mistaken for him anytime soon."

Remus nodded, looking relieve, "Severus it is then. I'll owl you two with the details later."

"You're mother's a muggle, yes?" Severus asked, "Better call Lily instead; Potter's been sneaking his letters in with yours. We think his house elf is popping in to do it for him."

Remus frowned, "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. He did seem to give up too easily when I refused to give him Lily's address. Fine, I'll call. For now I better catch up to the others before they manage to get themselves arrested," he joked turning to leave. Waving over his shoulder, he took off down the hall at a leisurely pace.

"Well that was civil of you," Simone teased, arms folded over her chest and a hip cocked out.

"Severus is learning to socialize!" Nesme squealed.

"There's hope for him yet," Davis deadpanned.

"Let us not embarrass the poor boy," Jordane cooed, placing her elegant hands on Severus's shoulders, "This has been a long and trying day for us all, no? How about we go out for a bite to eat and celebrate?"

Ashwin nodded amicably, "Yes, our treat."

Miriam exchanged a concerned glance with Walter, "I don't know. That must be awfully expensive. And we have so many people," she turned to her sons and daughter.

Ashwin winked, "Until we get some grandchildren, friends are the only ones we can spoil rotten," he elbowed his daughter teasingly.

Simone's face took on a pinched expression that made Petunia laugh, nudging Simone playfully.

Willow and Hank turned to each other, "Well…if you insist…"

Ashwin smiled, "I do," he turned to Nesme and Davis, recognizing them as some of Simone's friends, "You two as well, of course."

Nesme punched the air victoriously while Davis rolled his eyes at her antics.

Willow looked to her daughters and Severus, "Then why not? Let's go celebrate."

A volley of cheers went up among their group.

Some might consider it poor taste to have a celebration on the eve of two boys being sentenced to Azkaban. However, considering all that they had been through, they really couldn't care less what people thought right now.

They had won the battle. Even if the war was sure still to come, they had one victory to stand by.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand scene!
> 
> I took some liberties on the memory thing. Plenty of stories I have read featuring Snape's memories at least have featured a nifty twist of a person being able to feel what he was feeling when viewing it straight from his own head (like stories of Severus reliving his life and showing Lily memories of his past life, including the anger anguish he felt in those memories being felt by Lily). So I tweaked it a little bit that strong memories can occasionally contain residue of the person's state of mind at the time the memory was originally experienced, being passed on to the memory and felt by those who view it. Of course, this would only work with the best pensives capable of completely showing the highest resolution and undiluted form of the memory.
> 
> So, was anyone expecting that? I characterizes Mulciber as more spineless despite being the one to use an Unforgivable because to me, the weakest jerks use the vilest tactics to cause harm since they lack the ability to be scary without it.
> 
> Read and review my lovelies!


	23. Cottages and Acquaintances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our friends take a trip out to the country

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have returned for yet another exciting installment of this tale!
> 
> Once again, thanks to all who reviewed and a big thank you to all my readers. I know last week I got sort of heavy with you all in thhe author's notes, so I will keep things light this time.
> 
> This chapter was written while marathoning a mix of cat videos, asmr vids, and horror movies. This is what my mind comes up with on lack of sleep but plenty of food XD
> 
> Not sure it really needs it, but I figured I'd put a trigger warning here for nightmares. So just expect the end of the chapter to get a little dark.

* * *

"Toothbrushes—check…hairbrushes—check…" Lily looked through the items spread out on Severus's bed next to two overnight bags, "Socks—check…extra socks in case we lose some or get them wet—double check…underwear—"

"I think I've got this covered, Lily," Severus said, pulling his briefs out of the redhead's reach before she could look through them, "You don't see me rifling through your knickers."

Lily huffed, "I just want to make sure we have everything."

"Do you do this when packing for Hogwarts as well?" Severus asked in exasperation.

"Yes," Lily said adamantly, "I prefer to be prepared and not forget anything."

"And you say I'm too meticulous," Severus snorted.

Lily sighed, "Please, Sev, I want this to go well. It's going to be difficult enough finding some even footing for your and Remus to stand on, I'd rather not get off to a bad start by forgetting necessities. That's sure to dampen your mood; not that you need any help with that."

They would be leaving for Remus's house in the morning and Lily wanted to make sure they were ready and well rested by then. They'd be taking the train out of Cokeworth through Greater Manchester and into Cheshire, where they would then take a cab to the village Gawsworth, where Remus and his parents resided near the very outskirts.

Lily was thankful Severus agreed to come with her and though she understood that it wasn't exactly something he looked forward to, Lily couldn't help but be annoyed by him dragging his feet. It felt like he was stalling.

Severus caved to Lily's doe eyed routine, just as Lily knew he would.

"Fine," he sighed, holding out his hand, "At least let me sort my own things and then you can do the same with yours."

Lily nodded agreeably, "Works for me."

Severus looked over at Lily's pile, "by the looks of things, one would think you were leaving for a two weeks rather than two days."

"I didn't know what to bring," Lily defended, "The weather might be warm, so I'd like shorts and sundresses, but if it rains or the wind picks up, I don't want to catch a cold. England is unpredictable!"

"Outside of London, you mean," Severus mused, "London only has one setting; cloudy and overcast."

"This is the country, Sev," Lily said, "Like, the  _real_  countryside. With farms and orchards and horses. I haven't been there since I was a little girl," she sighed dreamily, "It's beautiful, Sev. All the flowers and trees, and the grass is so green. I can't wait for you to see it."

"We aren't going to wherever you visited as a child," Severus pointed out, "Lupin's house may be different."

"It'll still be lovely," Lily insisted, "Plus Remus's father is a wizard; a magical household means we can do magic," she sang the last part, gesturing to their two wands sitting on the bedside table.

"So I have one thing to look forward to," Severus drawled,

Lily slapped his arm, "Oh shush. This will be fun. Now pack up."

Severus rolled his eyes, but did as he was told.

 

{page break}

 

"Look at it," Lily breathed, stepping out of the cab, "Isn't just beautiful?"

The Lupin home was like something out of a painting. Small but quaint, it sat just outside of the Gawsworth village, nestled between a brook and a field of sheep. Weathered on the outside, but well cared for, the worn brick had taken on a faded beige color and the grout a muddy brown that together went complimented the brown thatched roof. Ivy vines grew up the side of the doorway and folded over the hang down in front of one of the windows, curling around the shutters and blooming with morning glories.

A picket fence framed the yard with a cobblestone walkway just beyond the gate leading up to the front door, trimmed and clipped hedges trailing along either side of the path. The hedges circled the house and baskets of flowers hung from all the windows, spilling over with blossoms. A garden stood just off to the side, a trellis of hanging tomatoes and stakes of string beans all in neat little rows while the butternut squash plants grew large and out of control. The glow from inside the house gave the scene a warm feel to it, like walking right into one of those framed pictures a grandmother would place in her living room.

While the fence framed the main yard, stones walls seemed to mark off the overall perimeter of the property, on one side the brook babbled and bubbled, and on the other sheep grazed and stared disinterestedly at the new visitors. The clucking of chickens could be heard from somewhere behind the house.

"It's certainly…picturesque," Severus said for lack of a better word for it.

Lily paid the cab fare while Severus pulled their bags out of the back. The cab driver waved at them and then headed on his way down the gravel road.

"My, Remus is out in the middle of nowhere, isn't he," Lily said, looking around, "There aren't any houses for miles."

Severus observed their surroundings. There wasn't the hint of another house dotting the horizon on any side. A forest stood on both sides just beyond the fields and rivers, blocking their view of the village and it was a good twenty minute drive from the village center to Lupin's house.

"It makes sense given the circumstances," Severus stated, "I doubt he's be able to transform in the village without someone hearing and snooping about."

"That's true," Lily said sadly, "Poor Remus."

Having nothing to say to her comment that wouldn't be considered rude, Severus wisely kept his mouth shut.

The front door—rounded at the top like in the story books—opened to reveal a pleasantly smiling Remus Lupin.

"Hello," he greeted, walking up the path to them, "So glad you came—both of you," he added, though Severus hardly believed he meant it, "Did you make it out here okay?"

"It was a scenic ride," Lily told him, "I enjoyed it."

"I got some reading done," Severus offered in lieu of a real answer.

"How you do that without sicking up in a train is beyond me," Lily muttered under her breath.

"Willpower," Severus shot back smugly. He turned to Lupin before Lily could think up a retort, "Are we going to stand out here all morning?"

Maybe he was a tad rude; the look Lily shot him confirmed certainly said he was.

"Oh right," Remus blushed, embarrassed, "Where are my manner, please come inside. My dad's at work and mum's at the market so we have the place to ourselves for a while."

Following Remus through the door, the pair was led into a cozily furnished entryway. The walls were from the floor to midway up in wood paneling that turned into a cream-colored paint the rest of the way to the ceiling. Small lantern like what one would find on the outside of an antique horse carriage hung on the walls and glittered in the sunlight cast by the stain glass windows lining the door. There was a long wooden bench on either side of the entryway, carved and polished a dark brown and a wooden sign read "Bless this Mess" in a fun, whimsical font hung above the steps leading to the second level of the house.

"Let me show you around," Remus offered, taking some of the bags off Severus's hands.

Remus started where they were standing, "So this is the entryway. To the right we have the kitchen," he gestured to the doorway, through which a small, cozy kitchen decorated in a rustic feel of brick and woodwork stood. The countertops were stone and the hearth in front of the fireplace was as well, a large cooking pot hanging inside, ready for use. Sunlight streamed through the open window over the sink, wind causing the curtains to sway gently. An old, course haired Bloodhound lied spread out in the sunbeam along the floor.

The hound sniffed the air, sensing their presence. The layered wrinkles on his face raised up slightly revealing a set of brown eyes that peered curiously up at them. His tail thumped once, then twice, and went still as the dog returned to sleep.

"That's Baskerville," Remus explained, pointing at the dog, "He won't be a bother; all he does is sleep. Right ancient, that one is. Anyway, let me show you the sitting room."

He walked back across the entryway and through the other door into a warmly decorated living room.

A tad cramped for Severus's liking, it was covered in knitted blankets and quilts and large, overstuffed, handmade pillows sitting on squashy chairs. The wooden shelves lined with brick-a-brack in the form of teacups depicting scenery from around the world, and little figurines of woodland creatures made out of marble, glass, and crystal. Another fireplace served as the center point of the room, probably connected to the kitchen's on the other side of the wall since Severus saw only one chimney when coming in.

"This is lovely, Remus," Lily complimented, ruffling one of the blankets fondly. She walked over to a picture sitting on the end table, "Is this you? You were so cute as a baby!"

Remus flushed, taking the picture from Lily and placing it back on the table, "Y-yes…that was me."

"Going through a nudist phase back then, I see," Severus observed, enjoying seeing Lupin squirm.

Remus's face grew redder, "I was a baby!"

"So cute!" Lily cooed, much to Remus's discomfort.

"Anyway!" Remus said loudly, "Severus, this is where you'll be sleeping if that's alright. The sofa should be more than big enough for you."

"Yes, it will do," Severus said, looking to the massive sofa dwarfing everything in the room. He put his bags on the floor and tucked them beneath one of the end tables, out of way.

"Let me show you both the upstairs," Remus continued, waved them onward.

At the top of the landing was a carpeted hallway with four doors, two on each side.

"This is the bathroom," Remus pointed to the immediate door on their left, "A toilet, tub, sink, the essentials. Across from it is the guest room; that's where you'll be staying, Lily."

The guest room was clearly set up with a woman in mind, either that or it was just given a heavy dose of a 'woman's touch' during decorating.

A flowered bedspread of pastel pinks, purples, and greens covered the bed, complimented by matching pillows, clearly for looks rather than comfort, the real pillows hidden underneath. Matching curtains blew softly in the breeze from the windows, the length of them lightly caresses the hard wood floors. The wallpaper was white with tiny drawings of flowering vines all over and the shelves carried dolls, accented pillows and a few books like Jane Eyre on them.

"Mom likes pink," Remus explained with a shrug.

"It's fine, Remus," Lily assured him, "Truly, I love it. The bed looks so comfy." She took her bags from Remus and set them on the bed, "I'll unpack later."

Remus brought them back out into the hallway.

He pointed at the third door, "That's my parent's room. No real reason to look in there, I suppose. And lastly we have my room."

Remus room was modestly decorated, appearing more like a live-in study than a teenage boy's bedroom. The bed was made and the sheets turned down, a pair of slippers placed neatly on the floor next to it. Everything was organized and laid out precisely on the desk, from the inkwell to the notebooks. The floor was clear of the junk one would expect to find in a boy's room, and the shelves were stacked with dozens of books, arranged alphabetically. The only real indication of whose room this was came in the form of a bright red and gold Gryffindor pennant on the wall above the bed and a framed photo of the Marauders, clearly taken just after a Quidditch game if Potter's uniform and the amount of mud on it was anything to go by.

Severus couldn't help but note how similar it was to his own room, but he pushed the thought away. He wasn't about to start comparing himself to one of the Marauders.

"I honestly expected you to have a more…messy personality, given who you hang out with," Severus said causally, glancing around the small room.

Remus rubbed at the back of his neck, "I prefer my living space to be slightly less…chaotic."

Severus nodded, thinking of the contrast Lupin may wish to keep between himself and his bestial half, "Makes sense."

"Want to see the garden?" Remus asked, changing the subject.

Lily jumped up eagerly, "Yes please!"

 

{page break}

 

"So…Potter doesn't know we're here?" Severus inquired quietly while Lily fed the ducks waddling along the brook, "He's not going to suddenly pop up at some point?"

Remus shook his head, "I told him I would be visiting an aunt this weekend, so he thinks I'm not home. I've kept an eye out for his house elf; dad caught the poor thing a few days ago checking my room for letters, and sent her back with a letter to James's folks explicitly stating she isn't to help James tamper with our mail. Considering it's against the law, they should take the warning seriously."

"And Potter is okay with you thwarting his plans?" Severus asked skeptically.

"James doesn't know I had anything to do with it," Remus said, "As far as he knows, my father just happened to stumble across his house elf in my room one day."

Remus looked down at his hands for a moment.

"Listen, I know this is long overdue, but…I'm sorry," he said finally.

Severus cocked a brow, "Any idea what you're apologizing for?" he asked snidely.

Remus sighed, having expected this to be difficult, "I'm sorry for not standing up for you," he elaborated, "for not stopping my friends. I knew what they were doing wasn't fair but…I don't know, I guess I just didn't want them to turn on me or think I wasn't one of them. They're the only friends I ever really have, given my condition."

"Are you apologizing or offering excuses?" Severus quipped.

"Oh, you don't make this easy," Remus muttered under his breath, "I'm apologizing. Regardless my reasoning, no one should ever be treated the way you have."

Lupin turned to face Severus fully, "I know better than anyone what it is like to be ostracized by people for something I can't help. I can't help what I turn into, just as you can't help it if the hat put you in Slytherin or that you excel in DADA. Plenty of muggles are naturally skilled at marksmanship; that doesn't mean they are destine to pick up a gun or crossbow and go on a killing spree."

He looked down, ashamed, "I let my friends make assumptions of you based on stereotypes and rumors, just the same as people make them about werewolves. I had no right to do that. I can't expect the world to treat me with fairness and respect if I won't help ensure others are treated the same. I'm really, truly sorry, Severus."

Severus sat in silence, turning Lupin's words over in his head. Admittedly, he hadn't been expecting a real apology and since he arrived at Lupin's house he had been waiting for the rest of the Marauders to pop out and launch some nasty prank on him. To have Lupin apologize so sincerely was a complete surprise; he had been convinced the wolf simply cared very little about Severus feelings.

"You have to understand why I find your words hard to believe," Severus said slowly. He folded his hands across his lap, "You say that you understand what you did was wrong—that what I've gone through wasn't fair. I'd like to believe that but when the very worse was done to me…you remained friends with the one responsible for almost killing me," Severus fixed Lupin with a hard stare, "Someone who exploited your condition to be used as a tool."

Remus winced, looking away, "Sirius is hard to explain. It's even harder to explain why I hang onto him. He's always been there for me, one of the first people to look me in the eye without fear of knowing what I was. He's risked his neck for me on more than one occasion. When he tricked you into the shack while I was transforming…it hurt. It killed me to think that he would betray my trust like that. I put my life in his hands by trusting him with that secret and he used me…"

"A part of me would like to pretend it never happened so that I can continue on without feeling like my trust was thrown back in my face," Remus went on, "It would be easier that way. Deep down, I know that Sirius cares about me, but what he did…it took a long time to work through and even now, I don't think he fully gets how much it effected me."

"Probably because not even Dumbledore treated it seriously," Severus said peevishly.

"You're probably right," Remus agreed, "Maybe he'd get it if he had actually been punished instead of let off so easily. Or maybe he's just as off in the head as the rest of his family. Truth be told, I think Sirius comes after you because he sees everything in you that he doesn't want in himself."

Severus titled his head, confused, "And what is that supposed to mean?" he asked defensively.

"You're everything a pureblood should be," Remus stated, "Poised, reserved, skilled, clever, and shrewd; the very things Sirius isn't," he sighed, "the very things I'm sure his mother has tormented him about failing at for years, probably long before Hogwarts. He's loud, he's brash, he wears his heart on his sleeve and is told instead to keep it closer to the vest. You're what he can never be and he's both relieved and jealous of it."

"That doesn't explain why you're friends with him," Severus pointed out.

"I see the potential for good in him," Remus admitted, "I see his kindness, his compassion. Maybe that makes me a bit biased since I'm one of the only people he truly shows that side of himself to, but I care about him. He listens to me better than James, understands me better than Peter, and truly sees me as just Remus, no fear, no judgment. I'm honestly afraid if I let him go, I'll never find someone like him again."

"Sounds like you're clinging to a vain hope," Severus snorted.

"Like Lily was with you?" Remus shot back, "hoping you'd come around and see Avery and his friends for what they were?"

Severus turned away, refusing to dignify that question with a response.

"I love my friends," Remus declared, "I love Sirius. Love makes us impulsive, rash, maybe even a bit nonsensical, but it doesn't make us bad, just our choices. You of all people should know that."

Both their eyes went to Lily playing at the brook.

"I mean it when I say I'm sorry, Severus," Remus said quietly, "I can't forgive myself for my cowardice and I am not asking you to forgive me either. But please, we both care about Lily in our own ways, you're different than mine, I suppose," he shot Severus a knowing look, "So can we at least learn to more on and be civil to each other? For her sake?"

"Are we going to fall back into the same old routine when school starts," Severus asked harshly.

Remus shook his head, "No. I plan to confront my friends. I'm done standing by and doing nothing. There's true evil out there, Severus, and it isn't you. Why waste energy on childish rivalries when the real enemy is out there. I'd rather learn to make peace with you than fight you. I'll do my best to make sure the others do too."

"Do you swear?" Severus challenged.

Remus held up one hand solemnly, placing the other over his heart, "On my wand, and on my magic."

Severus stared at him, shocked he would take it that far.

"So what do you say?" Remus asked, holding out his hand, "Truce?"

Severus stared at Lupin's hand distrustfully, "You realize it will take me a while to actually forgive you? I need to see if you mean it first."

Remus smiled, "Of course."

"And this doesn't make us friends," Severus added quickly, "We're acquaintances at best."

Remus chuckled, "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Severus eyed Remus's hand. Finally, he sighed.

"Fine," he said, begrudgingly taking Remus's hand, "Truce."

Remus lit up like a Christmas tree, happily shaking hands.

A squeal drew them out of their conversation.

"You're getting along!" Lily cried, throwing herself at them. She landed against them with an 'oomph', arms going around both their necks.

"This trip was a wonderful idea!" she said happily.

Remus laughed, "Well I'm glad you're in a good mood," he said.

Realizing what she was doing, Lily pulled away with a squeaked apology, her face going crimson.

"I got a little carried away," she admitted sheepishly.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," Remus said as the redhead stepped back, "For a while I was beginning to think you didn't want to visit."

Lily looked off to the side, unable to meet Remus's eyes, "I was busy," she offered up lamely.

Severus looked on in silence, knowing the real reason Lily had been afraid to come.

"But I'm glad I made time," Lily said firmly, "You're my friend and I should be able to see you outside of school."

"You just like me better when James isn't around," Remus teased.

"Everything is more enjoyable without Potter around," Severus said monotonously.

Remus tried not to smile at that, but couldn't resist, "He's not that bad."

"Yeah around people he likes or respects," Lily said, hands on her hips, "But he treats Severus awful, and he doesn't care a thing about what I say or think. Clearly he's more interested in my looks than my feelings."

"Hey, I assure you, James's feelings are genuine," Remus defended, still smiling.

Lily's gaze softened, "Well be that as it may, my answer will still have to be no," she dropped her hands to her side, "I'm sorry Remus, I know he's your friend and all, but…given how he's treated Severus, I just don't see it ever working out with him. You, I can forgive because you weren't the one playing the pranks or slinging the insults, but James means what he says to Severus and I just can't bring myself to care for someone who hates my best friend that much."

Severus tried very hard to keep the triumph off his face.

"I wouldn't say its hate, just strong dislike," Remus argued. He sighed, "But I see what you mean. Though it saddens me that I'll have to nurse his wounded pride and ego—again— I can't blame you for how you feel on the matter."

Lily smiled, "Thanks Remus."

A car horn honked from somewhere in front of the house.

"That would be mum," Remus said, standing up, "Anyone up for a late lunch?"

 

{page break}

 

Lily was running.

From what she knew not but she knew she couldn't let it catch her.

It was dark, the hallway stretching endlessly in front of her, grim caking all the windows and making it impossible to see outside. Her footsteps beaten against the floor in a steady rhythm while the entity behind her made no sound. It's presence was just tingling at the back of her mind, like fingers tickling the hair on her neck.

There were doors in the hall. She rushed to the nearest one and pulled frantically at the handle but it wouldn't budge. Running to the next one, the results were the same, as it was with the next and the next.

The thing was getting closer now. She didn't dare look back to check, but she knew it was closing in on her. A twisted sound, like a laugh trickled down the hall to her. It had no cadence to it, not like people did. It was more like the way animals sounded when their noises resembled words. Lily once knew a girl whose cat sounded like it was saying 'old long Johnson' whenever it was scared. She never realized until now how creepy that sort of noise sounded.

Spurned onward, she ran faster. Her legs felt as if they were encased in water, slowing her down; everything about her movements seemed slow. She reached for another door handled, but it didn't open either.

There were people on the other side. She could see them through the door's window. Lily banged on the glass, screaming for them, but no words came out. The sound of her banging didn't seem to carry through to the other side as the occupants of the compartment sat dead still, not moving. They had no faces; just blank slates were faces should be.

Giving up, Lily kept running, the thing behind her growing closer still. She tripped and shoved her way through people blocking her path, pleading to their faceless visages to help her and receiving no reaction. They only served as an obstacle to her path.

There was a door up a ahead of her. It glowed like a beacon of hope in the dimly lit hall and with newfound resolve she sped towards it. Behind her, the thing was making a sound now, a gurgling, wet, pulsing noise that made her stomach churn and her skin feel unclean.

Something snagged her ankle and with a cry Lily fell to the ground. Not looking behind her, she kicked her leg out, trying to free herself, but the grip only tighten.

Desperate, Lily dragged herself across the floor on her stomach, crawling to the door. The grip on her ankle burned, making her scream, but onward she crawled. She could almost reach it...

The door ahead of her swung inward, revealing a gruesome sight. Severus lay sprawled across the floor, his neck bent at an unnatural angle, blood blooding beneath him from a gash along his throat, limbs lying haphazardly. Behind him, Mary was propped up against the wall, legs splayed obscenely, her clothing in shreds, a frozen look of terror etched into her face but not reaching her hollow empty eyes.

Something grabbed onto her other leg, dragging her backwards with a scream. Pulled harshly to her feet, she was slammed against the nearest wall.

The thing before her was nothing but a black mass of twisting, writhing limbs, hands with dirty fingernails flailing through the air. Those hands latched onto Lily with a vengeance, digging into her skin and drawing blood. More and more hands sprouted from the mass, clawing and tearing at her clothes, leaving them in tattered ribbons on the ground. Lily tried to cry out, but no sound escaped when she opened her mouth. She tried to thrash and kick at her attacker, but it made no difference.

There was a cloying, choking smell in the air, putrid and impure, that hung in the air and made her nostrils burn. The closer the thing leaned into her, the worst it got.

Suddenly the mass started to shift, take shape.

It morphed into Mulciber, his dumb eyes looking unkindly on her as he smirked. It turned into a boy from her potions class, his features warped and wretched with a nasty smile. It turned into Potter, the usual kind gaze in his eyes vacant as he stared lustfully down at her. It turned a man at the local market, no longer a friendly face, but into a frightening image of violence.

It turned into Remus. Dear, sweet Remus who would never hurt her.

It turned into Peter; someone so skittish and timid he couldn't hurt someone if he tried.

It turned into Frank, Aice's boyfriend, a boy born to uphold all that was good in the world.

It turned into Avery, his lustful, hateful eyes boring into her own as he snickered wickedly.

 

{page break}

 

"Sev," a voice whispered softly, "Sev, wake up."

Severus shifted in his sleep, his face scrunching up.

"Sev!" the whisper became harsher.

Severus opened his eyes. Kneeling next to the sofa was Lily, her face shadowed by the glow of the fireplace behind her. She had a quilt from the guestroom wrapped around her shoulders. "Are you awake?"

"I am now," Severus answered, struggling to sit up, Baskerville snuffled in his sleep and rolled over on Severus's legs.

"What are you doing up?" Severus inquired.

"Couldn't sleep," Lily said, her eyes downcast.

"Another nightmare?" Severus asked.

Lily just nodded.

Wordlessly, Severus reached out and pulled Lily into a hug, rubbing her back.

"Can I sleep here?" Lily asked, her voice muffled against the crook of Severus neck.

"I think Lupin's parents might have some problems with that," Severus told her, pulling back to look at her.

Lily shook her head, "We don't have to cuddled. I just...don't want to be alone. Please? We can spread the blankets out down here on the floor. Just...hold my hand or something."

She stared pleadingly at Severus, her eyes swimming with tears.

Severus hesitated. He looked towards the stairs, up to where he knew Lupin's parents were sound asleep. They weren't going to cuddled, it was completely innocent, right? Surely the Lupins wouldn't mind.

"Okay," he said after a while, "Just let me get situated."

Lily smiled in relief..

Severus slid off the couch, managing to pull his legs free from underneath Baskerville, the dog grumbling and rolling over onto his back, legs tucked up to his body.

Severus pulled his blankets and pillows off the sofa, arranging them on the floor to make a relatively comfy bed. Placing two pillows side by side, he gestured for Lily to make herself comfortable, "Climb in."

Lily slipped under the covers on one side, lying back and looking at Severus expectantly.

Rolling his eyes, Severus got under the blankets and turned on his side, facing Lily, "Happy now?"

"Sev," Lily sing songed, holding one of her hands out of the blankets, wiggling her fingers.

With a sigh, Severus took Lily's hand, their fingers interlocking together.

"Now I'm happy," Lily declared, "Sev...thanks."

Severus managed a small smile, "Anytime."

The pair drifted off to sleep, Baskerville eventually climbing down from the sofa to squeeze himself between them.

Up on the stair landing,, Remus stood silently, having woken up when his sensitive hearing caught Lily on creeping down the stairs. Looking over the railing at the pair, he snorted softly, shaking his head with a fond smile before heading back to bed.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, not sure if it actually called for the warning, but I thought it best to put it there.
> 
> And so we are back to the complicated relationship of Severus and Lily. One in love with the other, and the second putting an unfathomable amount of trust in the former while they navigate the strange life they now find themselves living together.
> 
> Read and Review, please
> 
> Feed the plot bunnies. Feed them.


	24. And Fun was had by All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two of Severus and Lily's country adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned for another chapter.
> 
> Welcome back, readers. I thank you all for your dedication to reading this fic and thank you all for your kind words and reviews.
> 
> Not much to report before this chapter. It's pretty tame and mundane for once.

* * *

 

Breakfast at the Lupin house was a quiet but pleasant affair it turned out. Being so far out from the village, there weren't the usual sounds of traffic and morning clatter coming through the window, just the chirping of birds and the distant sound of a horse neighing or a dog barking off in the hills. As the family had very little interest in a television, there was only a radio in the house, often times set to music rather than news or programs and left off in the mornings so the family could enjoy 'quality time' before Lyall went off to work.

Seated at the breakfast nook eating pancakes, Lily hummed merrily as she looked about the bright, sunny kitchen, swinging her feet like a child. Besides her, Severus ate at a sedate pace, cutting his pancakes into equal chunks first before ever taking a single bite, pouring his syrup meticulously over each individual piece for a good syrup to pancake ratio. Lupin raised a brow at Severus eating habits but had no room to complain, due to his own routine of eating the inside pieces of his pancakes first, saving the edges—which he felt were the best for their crisp sides—for last.

"Anyone want some hash browns?" Lupin's mother Hope asked, coming over to the table with a frying pan in hand, "Some bacon, and a sausage perhaps? There's plenty of eggs too."

Hope Howell was a petite woman of Welsh descent, with wavy, brown hair and thick, but shapely eyebrows. She was fair skinned with a soft, rounded face and cupid's bow lips that created dimples whenever she smiled. Whenever she smiled, it was always genuine and with her full face, her eyes crinkling up in mirth as she laughed. Clearly a beautiful woman in her youth, in recent years she had grown gray and thin before her time, most likely due to worry for her only son and his ailment. Full of laughter and life, there was still a certain frailty to her, an ever present, lingering somber tone to her, weariness weighing in bags under her eyes.

"I would love some eggs, ma'am," Lily said sweetly, grinning as a heaping portion was put on her plate, "I don't think I've ever seen so much good food even at a hotel's continental breakfast!"

Hope smiled, "It's not often Remus has friends over. I suppose I went a little overboard with breakfast."

"Breakfast is great, mum," Remus assured her, "I couldn't eat better than this even at Hogwarts."

"Oh now I know you're full of it," Hope laughed, "I can't compete with that many house elves cooking. What about you, Severus? Would you like anything else?"

Severus looked down at his plate bashfully. Even after staying with the Evanses so long, he wasn't used to requesting seconds. In his own house, food was usually so scarce that expecting more than the measly portion he was given was considered asking for too much. He could recall one time in his early years when he had asked for a second slice of stale bread and his father had cuffed him around the back of the head, calling him greedy as tears welled in Severus's eyes.

Since then, Severus had always learned to just accept what he was given and leave it at that. Even at Hogwarts, where the food was plentiful and open to all, he always felt that he was taking too much, that he deserved much less. It was the very reason he was nothing more than a slip of a boy compared to his thicker, musclier yearmates.

Willow had taken to putting second helpings on Severus plate on her own, realizing quickly the boy's discomfort in asking when he clearly wanted more.

"May I have some hash browns, ma'am?" Severus asked politely, eyeing the browned and golden potatoes shreds hopefully.

Hope smiled warmly at him. "Of course you may," she said in a motherly tone, placing a large amount of hash browns on his plate, "Here, have some sausage too."

"Thank you ma'am," Severus said sincerely.

Hope looked down fondly at the boy, "You're very welcome, Severus." She turned to her son, "So any plans for today?"

Remus swallowed a mouthful of eggs, relishing the slight syrupy flavored they'd absorbed on his plate, "I was thinking of taking Lily and Severus with me to feed some of the animals this morning. Lily had a blast feeding the ducks yesterday."

Having to move often to avoid suspicion over Remus monthly disappearances over the years, the Lupins had taken to housing many animals on their property to provide them with basic essential. Eggs and meat from the chicken, milk from the goats, wool from the sheep, all of it greatly helped them get by when the expenses of constantly moving caught up to them. They had horses, too, but they were mostly out of Hope's love for the creatures than any real necessity. Even now, when Hogwarts meant they had less worry over handling Remus's condition each year, they still kept the animals out of convenience and a slight fondness for the barnyard creatures.

"Oh, don't worry about those chores today, Remus," Hope chided her son, "You have company, go have fun." So rarely did she get to see her son truly happy in life that she latched onto the opportunity whenever it came by.

"I don't mind ma'am," Lily said, "I love animals."

"And you can't do it all on your own, mum," Remus scolded, "It will affect your allergies."

"I still say only those who hate animals should be allergic to them," Hope said wistfully. As much as she adored her furry friends, the watery eyes and constant sneezing did take it's toll on her.

"At least you aren't bothered by Baskerville," Remus pointed out, patting the senile old mutt as the dog rested his head in Remus's lap and begged for scraps.

"Ah yes, my fierce watchdog," Hope said teasingly, scratching the beast behind his ears, "Sorry about this morning, Severus."

Severus eyed the dog, remembering this morning's debacle when he woke up to Baskerville practically sleeping on his face, "It's fine…"

"Morning all," Remus's father said as he swept into the room, already dressed for work.

Lyall Lupin was a man of moderate height with sandy brown hair and a slightly crooked nose from taking a bludger to the face years ago during his Hogwarts days. With a pair of warm, but calculating hazel eyes, he tended to sweep the rooms he was in with a curious gaze, evaluating all that was in it. Greying more than a man should at his age, his face was already lined with many wrinkles from worry and hardships. He had a look about him of a man who had made mistakes and paid for them, a slight sadness to his gaze.

Lily and Severus couldn't know by looking at the man, but he had been adamantly against their visit at first, fearing for the exposure of his son's secret. After years of protecting Remus from the outside world and it's prejudices, he wasn't about to let it all go to waste over his son's foolishness.

It was only after Remus revealed that Lily and Severus  _knew_  of the secret already, that he finally caved. Still, he was rather wary of the two.

"Morning dear," Hope greeted her husband with a kiss on the cheek, "Late for work again?"

"No, but I'm about to be," replied Lyall. He nodded to his son's guests, a hint of warning to his eyes, "I trust to two of you are enjoying yourselves."

Lily nodded, "It's been wonderful here. It's so nice to see Remus outside of school."

"You're close at school then?" Lyall inquired.

"Yes," Lily said, "He and I are prefects, we do a lot of rounds together. He's just so nice and kind, it's a shame we don't get to hang out more often."

Lyall nodded, turning to Severus, "And you?"

Severus looked at Lupin out of the corner of his eye, "He and I are working on setting aside our differences," Severus picked his words carefully, "We are finding that we may possess a great deal in common. Neither of us can help the circumstances fate has dealt us in life," his mind wandered to his parents, to the home life he wouldn't have chosen for himself in a million years.

Lyall raised a brow, "So neither of you are…bothered by Remus's…condition?"

Lily shook her head.

"Remus can't help who he is," she said adamantly, "It's not his fault he can't control it."

Besides her, Severus nodded robotically, agreeing more for the sake of ending this conversation sooner.

Lyall scrutinized the pair in front of in, searching for any deceit. Seeming to like what he found, he nodded in satisfaction, stepping back from the table.

"I really must be going," he said, giving his wife a quick kiss, "I should be home before dinner."

He grabbed two pancakes and slipped some eggs and bacon between them, making a sandwich, "See you all tonight," he added as he swept out of the room.

Hope set about cleaning up the kitchen as Remus and the others finished their breakfast.

"Well," Remus began, standing up, "Who wants to feed the horses?"

Lily threw her hand in the air, waving it like an over eager first year, "I do!"

Severus looked under the table. Baskerville's head was in his lap, drooling on his pant leg.

 

{page break}

 

"Sorry about my dad," Remus said later in the day as they were milling about the yard, "He's a tad…protective."

"That's not the word I would use for it," Severus said, pouring haylage into the sheep's feeding trough, "He doesn't seem too keen on us being here."

"He worries," Remus explained, "We've had to move around all my life, trying to avoid anyone catching onto my 'furry little problem' as Sirius likes to call it. Before Hogwarts, I had no friends my own age, just my parents. Dad worries someone will find out my secret and run off to tell the ministry."

"It's understandable," Lily stated, letting a pregnant ewe eat grain out of her hand, "The last thing your parents want is for you to get put on that awful Werewolf registration list."

Remus nodded, "It certainly is their biggest concern. But I think they're also worried about me getting too attached to people. Plenty of Werewolves make wizard friends, most from before they were turned, but the life of a werewolf is full of so many limitations and restrictions. We don't get to do as much as other people and oftentimes, friends eventually move on and leave you behind. They don't want me to go through being abandoned."

"Not even Black or Potter would be that cruel," Lily said, "And I'll never turn my back on you, Remus."

"I appreciate that Lily," Remus said with a smile.

Lily smiled back. She patted the ewe's stomach, "So when is this one due?"

Remus crouched down next to the sheep, feeling her belly, "It won't be long now," he said wisely, "The lamb has started to shift. Probably in a few days to a week."

"I'm surprised you don't take Care of Magical Creatures, Lupin," Severus remarked dryly, "You do have a way with animals."

Remus smiled crookedly, "I'm not exactly keen on a subject where I myself am classified as a 'magical creature', you know? I hear some of the younger years talk about hoping to see a 'werewolf cub' and other nonsense from that course."

"I can assure them even a young werewolf is far from cute and cuddly," Severus drawled.

Remus winced, "I  _am_  sorry about that…"

Severus leaned across a fence post, arms crossed over his chest, "I don't blame you for that night, I blame you for the idiotic company you keep."

"Severus," Lily chided.

Remus waved her off, "No he's right; they haven't been particularly kind to him."

"That's a drastic understatement," Severus said, moving to the chicken feed.

"Okay, they've been down right horrible," Remus conceded, picking up a bucket for the chicken feed, "But I promise I'm going to make them stop."

Severus rolled his eyes, "You'd have better luck rolling a boulder uphill," he remarked sarcastically, "Or better yet, getting toothpaste back in the tube."

Lily snorted, following the boys to the chicken coops.

"So, Severus…" Remus said hesitantly, "You actually saw Moony…I mean me," he corrected, "Are you afraid of me? Of it?"

Severus stopped walking, a thoughtful look on his face, "I am…wary of your other half. Distrustful of it, I suppose. Even before you nearly ate me, werewolves were never painted in a positive light in most literature."

Remus nodded, "Yeah that can color someone's opinion easily. But, what do you feel about me? I mean, do you see me and…that side of me in the same light? With fear? Disgust?"

Severus regarded Lupin carefully.

"The only disgust I feel for you is your overwhelming cowardice," he said coldly, "that being said you and the beast are hardly the same thing."

Remus smiled, relieved, "Good to know. You know, I don't blame you. About how you feel regarding my other half, I mean. Truthfully, I'm afraid of it too."

Severus turned to Remus, a hint of surprise showing on his face.

"It's true," Remus insisted, "I've never seen what I look like transformed, but I suppose that makes it all the worse for my imagination. I wake up in the mornings after a full moon and I see all the destruction it's caused and I'm…I'm afraid of it. I have seen first hand what it can do, and yet I have no idea what its capable of. That's terrifying."

"Remember in Third year," Remus continued, "When we had to face a boggart for Defense class? You were out that day; in the infirmary."

Severus nodded, "If I recall, it was another one of your," he sneered, " _Friends'_  oh so 'brilliant' pranks."

Remus grimaced, "Right…well anyway, I bet you never heard what my boggart turned into. There were so many things it changed into for the class, most forgot mine by the end." He turned to look at Severus, "It turned into a werewolf…but it wasn't one from a picture or a book…I know it was supposed to be me."

"I remember that," Lily interjected, "It really startled the class at first, but then so did Pettigrew's zombie." She paused, "You know, I tried to tell myself that you must have been afraid of them from reading about them in books. Severus was already pitching his theories to me, but I didn't want to believe it." She looked at Severus and Remus apologetically, "I was really in denial about it, but that boggart makes it so obvious now."

Remus smiled sadly, "I appreciate you not saying anything that day then."

"So even you have some concerns about yourself," Severus observed.

Remus huffed, "Of course I would. I mean I turn into an uncontrollable beast! That's got to make anyone concerned don't you think? Anyway, I wasn't telling you this for the heck of it; I just want you to know that it's fine you don't trust me when I'm like that. Heck, I don't trust me."

Severus considered Lupin's words.

"It helps, I suppose," he said finally. He turned away and began walking again, "Thanks."

Remus smiled, following him.

"So you aren't afraid of Remus?" Lily asked as they resumed their walk to the coops.

Severus snorted, stepping into the chicken coop, gingerly picking his way through the clucking hens; filthy birds, "I could best him in a duel any day of the week; what's there to be afraid of?"

"Oh I don't know, looks can be deceiving," Lily said teasingly, "For all we know, mild mannered Remus is just a disguise."

Remus grinned, "That's right, for all you two know I could be some fearsome dueling expert." He raised his bucket of chicken feed in the air, "the Masked Dueler!"

Lily creeped up next to Severus, "And when you least expect it, he might sneak up and…get ya!"

Lily lunged for Severus, but the wizard was too fast for her. Whirling out of the way, Severus watched as Lily tripped forward and swayed dangerously before falling, taking Remus down by the arm with her.

The pair laid out on the ground laughing hysterically, chicken feathers in their hair, feed spread out around them. Chickens milled by, pecking at the spilled food.

Severus stared down at the pair, unimpressed, "You're going to get filthy down there," he said with a sneer.

"Oh come on, Sev," Lily said between giggles, "help me up," she held out a hand expectantly.

Severus's lip curled in disgust, "I am not touching that hand until you wash it."

Lily chuckled, "Don't be like that."

"Prude," Remus snorted.

"Oh he really is, isn't he?"

"A stick in the mud if you ask me."

The pair continued to chatter back and forth on the ground while Severus sniffed disdainfully.

Glaring, but without any heat behind it, Severus upended his bucket of feed over the two of them.

"May the birds eat you alive," he said in boredom, turning his back and exiting the coop with his head held high, ignoring the shrieks and laughter behind him as the chickens swarmed the pair.

 

{page break}

 

"So I was thinking," Remus began later that day as the trio ate lunch, "We should have a camp out."

They were seated on some rocks by the brook, eating sandwiches and other snacks from a picnic basket Hope had prepared.

A stray feather or two still in her hair, Lily turned to Remus, "a camp out?"

Remus nodded, "Yeah a camp out; tents, a fire, sleeping bags, the whole shebang. It'll be fun."

Severus swallowed a mouthful of ham, "Muggle tent, or wizard?"

Remus grinned, "Muggle; my mum used to camp with her parents all the time when she was my age."

"Sounds like fun," Lily piped in cheerfully, "We could melt marshmallows and look up at the stars." She turned to Severus with pleading eyes.

Severus thought about it, "I suppose sleeping on the ground wouldn't be so bad," he relented, pretending he didn't see Lily fist pump the air happily, "What brought this on?"

Remus shrugged, "I just figured since I invited you two, it isn't much of a sleep over if we all sleep in separate rooms. This way we can stay up talking and stuff until we fall asleep, like sleepovers are supposed to be."

Severus didn't fully buy Lupin's excuse; he wondered if perhaps it had something to do with Lily sleeping in the living room next to him last night. Perhaps he didn't want Lily to feel obligated to sleep alone. However, he let it go, "I guess I am open to it."

"Great," Remus said, "I'll start getting the tent and sleeping bags ready after we finish lunch."

Something tickled Severus's leg. Looking down, he saw a lean, white cat brushing against his ankles affectionately.

"That's Pangur," Remus explained, "She just wandered into our yard one day. Mum gave her some cream and she's been hanging around here ever since. She's great for keeping the mice and rats away."

Pangur continued to rub against Severus's legs, pawing at his pant leg and meowing for attention.

"She's a great judge of character," Remus stated, "It seems she likes you a lot. You might as well pet her; she won't stop until you do."

Severus reluctantly reached down to pet the pushy cat. He rubbed behind her ears and scratched her chin, musing on the softness of her fur.

Pangur reveled in the attention. She flopped against his leg, leaning into Severus's hand and purring loudly.

"She's beautiful," Lily cooed, scratching Pangur's head. She giggled when Pangur fell onto her side, lifting her paws up to grab at Lily's hand and pull it to her tummy, "My, she's quite demanding."

Remus grinned, "Yeah, she's always like this. Normally she stays out of the house, but I usually find her pawing at my face in the morning for breakfast; no idea how she got in."

Severus stared down at the cat rolling around at his feet, "I'm used to cats being more aloof then this."

As if sensing she was being watched, Pangur opened her eyes and stared at Severus.

Severus sat back, startled. Pangur's eyes were a shiny golden color, like a snitch, with flakes of green in them. She stared at Severus with more clarity and awareness than any animal should have, her eyes wide like molten pools. It was quite unnerving.

Severus shook his head, looking away, "So how are you going to tell Potter you've invited the enemy into your home," he asked, changing topics.

Remus sighed, "I might as well just come out and say it to him. Beating around the bush certainly won't help me any. I'm actually not sure who will take it worse; Sirius or James."

' _Probably Potter,'_  Severus thought snidely,  _'he's the one who hates that I hang out with Lily.'_

"You honestly think he'll be that against it," Lily questioned, rubbing Pangur's belly, "He helped Severus on the train. He knows how Severus protected me. Surely he still can't hate Severus after all that."

"It's complicated, Lily," Remus stated, "James has never trusted Severus. It's going to be hard for him to let go of all that. One act of do-gooding on Severus part isn't going to change things instantly, no matter how big or noble an act it was. And Sirius is probably going to look for a reason to hate Severus no matter what."

"Plus Potter's issue with me has always been less about what house I'm in at school and more about my connection to you, Lily," Severus pointed out.

Lily blinked, "Me? That's ridiculous. What business is it of his who I hang out with?"

"He fancies you," Remus stated the obvious, "So of course he's going to feel threatened by any male friend you have."

"Well he can get over it," Lily said, annoyed, "I can be friends with whomever I choose and he doesn't get to have a say in it just because he thinks I'm some prize to win."

"His feeling are genuine," Remus protested weakly.

Lily crossed her arms, "Genuinely possessive. He doesn't get to tell me who I can hang out with and I'll be damned if he thinks he can try and chase Severus away with bullying."

"I'm going to work on the bullying," Remus told her, "I promise."

Lily's eyes softened, "Well I personally doubt they'll be keen on listening to you, but I wish you luck, Remus."

Pangur wove herself around and between Severus's legs, gazing up at the teens with her large, golden eyes.

 

{page break}

 

It was late in the evening when they managed to get the campsite set up. It wasn't far from the house, just under a cluster of trees at the edge of the property, still well within Lyall's wards. The cherry trees, now past their blooming season, provided an excellent canopy from any chance of rain.

It took them a bit to get the tent set up, but they managed. Remus had lost the instructions and Severus had never camped a day in his life, so they had to rely mostly on what Lily could recall of her childhood days back when her parents would take her and her sister to the forest of Dean.

To Severus, who had lived most of his young life in poverty, camping seemed like a strange novelty. People actually paid to go to a park or forest to sleep outside on the ground and warm themselves by a fire in the dirt? The number of times Severus and his family came so close to being cast out in the streets made camping seem farcical and strange.

"So who knows how to start a fire?" Remus asked expectantly.

"Anyone with a wand," Severus replied lazily, waving his wand at the makeshift fire pit and igniting the flames.

Remus grinned sheepishly, "Right, magic."

"I've got the marshmallows," Lily said, holding up the bag, "Let's find some sticks to roast them on."

"No need," Remus told her, holding up three skinny, metal poles, "Mum has cooking skewers."

Remus rolled three longs over to the fire, setting them up in a half circle for them to sit on, "That should do it."

The trio sat around the campfire late into the night, Lily and Remus telling ghost stories while Severus poked holes in the tales, eliminating the mystique and scariness to them.

"And so the man pulled up to the house he had dropped the girl off at the night before," Remus said ominously, "he went up to the front door and knocked and this frail old lady answered. The man said, 'This is your daughter's sweater, she left it in my car last night.' And the old woman said, 'that's not possible…my daughter has been dead for ten years…' oooooooh!" Remus waved his arms around, wiggling his fingers and making scary faces.

"What would a ghost need with a sweater?" Severus asked blandly.

Remus deflated, "Well it's…it's supposed to be scary. She was dead…and she left her sweater behind…she was dead!"

"We see ghosts all the time at Hogwarts," Severus deadpanned, "There's frankly nothing frightening about them from a wizard perspective."

"And so Severus ruins yet another story," Lily sighed, a hint of playfully still in her voice, "Just like he did with the tale of the girl with the ribbon around her neck."

"Her lover unties the ribbon and her head falls off, that's hardly terrifying," Severus snorted, "Nearly Headless Nick shows off his neck hole all the time."

"Alright, mister smarty pants," Lily teased, roasting another marshmallow,"You tell a story then. Go on, scare our pants off."

"If anyone's pants come off this will be a substantially different camping trip," Severus muttered.

Remus snickered into his hand while Lily scowled at them.

"But alright, I'll give you a scare," Severus said, leaning backwards to strength his back and work out the kinks. He grabbed his wand, making the tip glow. Holding it under his chin so that it would cast shadows on his face.

"Once there was this boy," Severus began sinisterly, "He was a student, just like us. He had hopes and dream; plans to live an exciting life. One day he attended History of Magic class. Just. Like. Us."

Lily giggled.

"He fell asleep and was scolded by the teacher and had to serve detention, but he was glad, for he had missed the boring class in his slumber. Then he woke up…it was all a dream…and History of Magic Class had scarcely begun!"

"Oh god, no!" Remus cried dramatically.

"Say it isn't so, Sev," Pleaded Lily, fighting back a smile, "Say it isn't so!"

"Oh but it is," Severus insisted in a dark tone, "He still had an hour left of class!"

"No!" Lily fake screamed.

There was a pause around the campfire and then Remus and Lily burst into laughter, Severus chuckling.

"Okay, that is a pretty horrible fate," Remus conceded, wiping a tear away from his eye, "But nothing is worse than Divination class."

"Hey that class may be pointless if you don't have natural clairvoyance, but at least it's entertaining," Lily defended, "At least one student every class ends up reading the tea leaves in their partner's cup wrong and predicting they'll die a horrible death."

"The best part is when their partner takes it seriously," Severus remarked.

"Didn't Peter once believe it?" Lily asked.

Remus chuckled, nodding, "Yeah, James misread his leaves; told him he had the grim. Poor Peter, I thought he was going to faint."

"Potter probably did it on purpose," Severus pointed out.

"He probably did," Remus admitted, "I really need to talk to him and Sirius about how they pick on Peter."

"I'm sure they'll be just as open to that suggestion as the one about leaving me alone," Severus said sarcastically, smirking.

"I'll have you know, I can be very persuasive," Remus insisted.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Severus drawled.

Remus narrowed his eyes, "Challenge accepted."

Severus just continued to smirk, confident he would be proven right and Remus wrong.

"I'm glad we did this," Lily declared, blowing flames off her marshmallow, "It's so peaceful out here. I mean, look at the stars," she pointed upwards, "We can never see them this well back home."

"Too many lights and too much smog from the mill," Severus stated, looking up at the sky. Above them was a map of glowing intricacies, webs of luminescent orbs filling the canvas of the sky. It flowed out in every direction, shapes and figures etched in the burning balls of fire light-years away.

"That's Mars," Remus said, pointing out a brightly glowing ball above them.

"There's the Little Dipper," Lily outlined the constellation with her finger.

Severus pointed to a blinking set of red lights, "Look at that."

Remus squinted, trying to make out a shape, "What's that supposed to be? I've never seen that in my Astronomy class."

Lily covered her mouth to muffle her laughter while Severus just grinned.

Remus looked back and forth between them, eyes narrowed, "Okay, what am I missing here?"

"Remus that's a plane," Lily blurted out, snorting before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Remus blushed, "Oh…"

"I'll give muggles one thing," Severus said, watching the plane's trek across the sky, "They invent some impressive things. Who'd have ever imagined that someday there would be a way to carry hundreds of people across the sky in one contraption? Our magic can't do that."

"What about carriages pulled by flying horses," Remus asked.

Severus shook his head, "Can't hold as many people. On top of that, I'm not sure how I feel about my ride being capable of dropping a massive pile of horse dung on top of an unsuspecting populace below."

The laughter began anew.

Eventually the three teens retired to the tent, curled up in their sleeping bags as Lily and Remus chattered in excitement about their anticipation for the upcoming school year while Severus read by wand light. At some point Pangur found her way into the tent and curled up by Severus's head, purring softly. As the night went on, one by one they succumbed to sleep.

And if Remus noticed in the morning that Lily had practically all but climbed into Severus's sleeping bag, he made no mention of it.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it, another chapter down. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> Not much to say here, so I'll just go to the usual stick:
> 
> Read and Review please :)


	25. Hogwarts Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our friends start their journey back to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back for more, my friends!
> 
> Thanks again for the reviews and views, everyone. The fact that you are all sticking with me makes me feel wonderful.
> 
> I'm sure all of you have been positively dying for the moment our heroes returned to Hogwarts, so here it is!

* * *

 

Smoke billowed from the Hogwarts Express in voluminous clouds, hanging low over the hustle and bustle of students and their families. Everywhere one looked there were cart loaded with trunks and baggage, animals wrestled disgruntledly into carriers and owls squawking indignantly in cages. Mothers pulled resisting children into their arms for one last lipstick covered kiss on the cheek while fathers patted sons on the back and warned daughters to stay away from troublesome boys.

Severus and the Evans family walked through the crowded platform with practiced ease, navigating their cart past running children and fussing parents. While the place abounded with endless excitement and jubilation, the air was tense around the little, tight knit family.

It was the first time that Lily and Severus would be entering the train since the end of last year and their mood was an uneasy one.

Lily stared at the train warily, "Just like old times, right Sev?"

Severus pulled his eyes away from the train, looking down, "Yeah…"

"Davis and Nesme said we could sit with them," Lily reminded him, "Mary will be there too. There's too many of us this time for there to be any trouble." Whether this was to reassure Severus or herself, she didn't know.

"Right…" Severus said, glancing around them suspiciously, "No sign of Rosier or Wilkes, right?"

Lily looked around as well, "Nope. They must have already boarded the train. Do you think they'll bother you this year?"

"There's no telling with that lot," Severus admitted, "Rosier is the sort to lie and wait, biding his time, but I doubt even he wants to sit back after I turned on the lot of them."

"You should talk to Dumbledore," Lily suggested, "Perhaps he can make Slughorn actually look out for the students in his House."

Severus shrugged, "I suppose that's a possible solution; though I question how much good it will ultimately do."

"You really don't trust him do you?" Lily asked, "Though I suppose I can't blame you."

"I just don't trust his motives," Severus said, "He ignored me and all I went through for years, but then I save someone and he gives a damn? He should have been looking out for me as his student, even when he thought I was a lost cause."

"Lily! Severus!"

Mary pushed her way through the crowd, her parents and brother's following behind. Her father pushed her heavy cart of luggage as if it weighed nothing at all.

"I'm glad I found you," Mary said when she reached the pair, "We're sitting together, yes?"

Lily nodded, "That's the plan."

"There should be more security on the train this year as well," Severus added, gesturing to an Auror walking by, "They'll be patrolling the train."

Mary relaxed, "That's a relief. Want to get our trunks on the train?"

"Might as well," Lily said. She turned to her parents, "Mum, dad, we're going to load our stuff on. We'll be back in a jiff."

Willow nodded, "Alright dear, we'll be here."

Severus took their cart from Hank and pushed it after Mary and Lily, Mary's father following with Mary's things.

As Hank and Willow struck up a conversation with Miriam, Petunia stepped away to get a better look at the train. Bags and people cluttered up the platform, owls in cages hooting to one another and cats yowling in their carriers or sleeping lazily. Several students set off color toys they had bought in Diagon Alley, making sparks fly through the air and waving their wands to produce things like bubbles and streams of light. The ancient brick of the platform gave the place a castle like feel to it, something magically historical.

"It's a shame I never allowed myself to enjoy this in previous years," Petunia thought aloud, staring longingly at the train.

"We could try and smuggle you onboard," a voice suggested behind her.

Simone and Thea approached, both clad in elegant, velvet robes of gold and green respectively. Their hair was pulled back in matching plaits, Simone's draped over one shoulder. In Simone's hand was a large carrier.

Petunia smiled happily at her friends, "Oh sure, I be that would go well. 'Oh hello Mr. Conductor. How are you today? Me? Why I'm a witch going to Hogwarts…where's my wand, you ask? Well I don't know where it is now, but I can tell you where you can stick it.' Brilliant!"

Thea giggled while Simone smirked.

"Lovely to see you, as always, Pet," Simone greeted, drawing Petunia into a hug.

"So what are you two doing here?" Petunia asked, pulling away, "I thought you said Minks brings you to Hogwarts."

"Our luggage arrives on the train," Simone explained, gesturing to the back of the train where a wizard was levitating their bags into a train car, "We just thought we'd come along to wish our friends safe travels. Then we have to meet with Thea's parents before Minks takes us to school."

"And to see you," Thea added, "We figured you would be here with your sister."

"Where is that little spitfire, anyway?" Simone asked, her eyes traveling over the crowd, "I figure she and Severus would be somewhere close by."

Petunia jerked a thumb towards the train, "They're loading their things right now."

"I do hope they hurry up," Simone remarked, "Thea and I can't linger long, her parents will not be pleased if we dawdle."

"They're very punctual people?" Petunia asked.

Thea glanced around them, as if expecting her parents to pop out from behind a pillar or something, "Something like that. They take more issue with some of the people on this platform, to be honest." She didn't elaborate on that statement.

Petunia was about to ask what she meant, but a glance at Simone had her wisely keeping quieting, the dark skinned girl grimly shaking her head at her muggle friend.

"Well look who it is," drawled someone nearby, causing them all to turn.

James and Sirius sauntered up to the three girls, arrogant grins decorating their faces.

"A gathering of snakes, is it?" Sirius mused, "Colluding on something sinister, eh?"

Simone rolled her eyes, "Hardly. Don't you have something better to be doing?"

"We're waiting on Peter and Remus," Sirius said casually, "What are you up to? No good, I bet."

"Is it crime to catch up with friends?" Simone asked dryly.

Sirius smirked, "For you it should be," He glanced at Petunia, "I've never seen you before. Are you a slimy snake too?"

Petunia sniffed disdainfully, "I'm Petunia Evans, not that it is any of your business. And I'm a muggle."

"Evans?" James asked, perking up, "Like Lily Evans? Where is she anyway?" He craned his neck, trying to peer through the crowds in hopes of catching a glimpse of fiery red hair.

"That's not your business either," Petunia said snippily, "You're Jim Potter aren't you? I've heard plenty about you, Potter and if that's anything to go by, I think you should leave my sister alone."

James scowled at her, "My names  _James_." He squinted at her, trying to place her face, "Aren't you Lily's mean sister who hates magic?" he asked rudely.

"People change, Potter," Simone said, stepping protectively in front of her friend, "Something I suggest you and your cohorts work on doing."

"Oh come off it," Sirius sneered, "Acting all high and mighty like you're better than us. You're nothing but a greasy, slimy snake. A no good dark wizard. And if I were you," he added to Petunia, "I'd want no part of them or their dark ways."

"There's nothing dark about them," Petunia said hotly, "They're perfectly wonderful people."

Sirius snorted, "As if. What about this one and that creepy little power of hers?" he pointed accusingly at Thea.

Something hard passed through Simone's eyes.

"Don't you have luggage to get onboard, Black?" she asked, a bite to her tone.

Sirius shrugged dismissively, "We have house elves for that." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at where several old house elves were working on levitating a few trunks onto the baggage carriage of the train, "Aren't yours doing the same?"

"No I have a butler to do that," Simone deadpanned, pointing at the wizard loading her luggage, "You know, someone paid? Has his own free will? You'll find people like me aren't too fond of the idea of slavery."

Sirius blanched, but recovered, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It wasn't too many decades ago that wizards of color were used as little more than house elves in pureblood homes such as yours, Black," Simone drawled, "Can you honestly think about that and not see the dark parallels between that and using house elves?" She tipped her head back, sneering down at Sirius, "How very  _Pureblood_  of you."

Sirius's face went crimson, "What are you implying?"

"Exactly what you think I'm implying," Simone said empirically, "They say you can tell a lot about the character of a man by how he treats his servants."

"Why you," Sirius began, lips curled back in a snarl. He reached for his wand.

"Sirius, leave it," James commanded. He spared Simone a nasty glare, "There's Aurors roaming around; she isn't worth it."

Simone smirked, making it clear just how little Potter's opinion meant to her.

"Let's go find Remus and Peter," James went on, tugging Sirius away, "Maybe we'll spot Lily too."

"Yeah, with Snivellous," Sirius said meanly, sending Simone a mocking smile.

His comment seemed to bother James more than it did Simone, the bespectacled boy scowling to himself at the thought of Snape and Lily spending any time together.

"Severus would mop the floor with them," Simone observed once the boys were out of sight.

"In a fair fight at least," Thea agreed.

"Of course those boys don't know the meaning of the word fair," Simone remarked.

"Hey you guys," Lily greeted, her and Severus coming with Mary from the opposite direction than Potter and Black.

"There you are," Simone said, arms held out welcomingly with a dramatic flair, "You just missed the Blithering Idiot Brigade!"

Severus smirked, "Potter and Black found you?"

"Oh yes," Simone replied, "And they made such a lovely impression on Petunia, didn't they, Pet?"

Petunia huffed, crossing her arms, "They're about as rude as you were when we first met," she told Severus, "The only difference is you had the excuse of being nine years old to fall back on. What's their excuse?"

"They're spoiled and stupid," Simone said with a straight face.

The others laughed, Simone and Severus smirking.

"Hey now," Mary chimed in, "I agree they're pretty obnoxious and hard to tolerate, but at least they aren't Wilkes and his lot."

"True," Lily agreed, "I guess they aren't as bad a future Death Eaters."

"Still pretty bad though," Simone muttered.

"I'm honestly not sure who I would rather deal with," Severus said dully, "Rosier is no doubt going to try and take over as top dog in Slytherin, but Potter is probably going to ramp up his efforts to depose me as a 'wicked Slytherin'. You should have seen how he was glaring at me at the trial."

"If he has an issue with you, he has an issue with all of us," Lily declared determinedly, "I won't stand for him stirring up trouble."

"You'll have enough on your hands, keeping this one out of trouble," Simone stated, pointing at Severus.

Severus glared at her. "I beg your pardon," he said coldly.

Simone shrugged, "Come on, you aren't perfect. Potter's group and the Death Eater wanna-bes go after you without justification, but any other enemies you make at school are your own doing. You're cold, you're prickly, you always have something sarcastic to say. You're combative and you keep others at a distance.  _And_  you're lack of tolerance for the slow minded doesn't exactly make you the warm and fuzzy type. I mean, would it kill you to smile genuinely?"

Severus scowled, "I smile."

Simone eyed him skeptically, "Yes, but not enough."

"She does have a point, Sev," Lily said gently, "You'd make more friends if you were a tad less critical of everyone."

"There, you see? Someone agrees with me," Simone said triumphantly.

Severus gave Lily a weak glare, "Traitor."

Lily wisely chose to ignore him.

"Think about it Severus," Simone implored, stepping closer to him, "Do you honestly believe that everyone who dislikes you just does so because of Potter? You piss people off all on your own; I bet you've said some unkind things yourself, so don't act surprise that some people are willing to stand by and watch you get picked on because it makes them feel better about how you've treated them."

"I can't help it if most people wear on my nerves," Severus defended flippantly.

"But is it their fault or yours that your patience is so thin?" Simone challenged.

Severus didn't reply, his mind going to his sessions with Marcus, their discussions on his struggle to get along with others.

Simone stepped back, looking away, "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you, okay. I just think you would be happier if you let people in more."

"I'll take it into consideration," Severus said, grateful to drop the conversation.

"So who's this little guy?" Lily asked, gesturing to the pet carrier at Simone's feet.

"This is Amadeus," Simone explained, crouching down to unlatch the door.

When the door to the carrier open, a massive cat strutted out onto the platform. It was a giant as far as housecats went; with each paw nearly filling a person's palm and it's body almost as long as a man's arm, not including the tail. It's head was nearly the size of a humans and it was covered in thick, busy gray and brown speckled fur.

A handsome face peered up at them from amongst the fur, large, pale green eyes staring up at them all.

"He's huge!" Mary gaped.

Simone smiled proudly, "He's Kneazle bred with a Norwegian Forest Cat/Maine Coon mix breed. Just about the smartest, bravest, most awesome sort of cat there is. Affectionate, great with kids, and hypoallergenic to boot. Plus, he loves to swim."

"Got to be careful, or he climbs into the bathtub with you," Thea warned.

Petunia nodded, "He does. It's how I met him the first time I slept over."

Simone smirked, "Startled the Head Boy in the Prefect's bathroom last year."

Amadeus sat primly at Simone's feet, soaking in the attention with a majestic air, head held high and regal, tail curled daintily around his legs. His gaze traveled lazily over everyone, stopping on Lily. He stared the redheaded girl down and gave her a simple, plaintive meow.

"He's beautiful!" Lily squealed, putty in the beasts hands. She knelt down and scratched behind Amadeus's ears, "And he's so sweet."

"A regular ladies man," Simone quipped, grinning down at her familiar, "he's playing you for a fool, Evans. Won't be long now before you're sneaking him scraps from dinner like Thea does."

"He just looks so hungry," Thea simpered, gazing adoringly down at the cat.

"He eats several times a day," Simone said exasperated, "Plus I think the house elves are giving him leftovers from dinner."

"It's those eyes," Thea went on, "They just look so pleadingly at you. If I was allowed a pet, I'd want one like him." She smiled wistfully.

Simone wrapped an arm around Thea, "He's your honorary pet."

"Look," Mary cooed, "He's doubled pawed!"

As if understanding Mary's words, Amadeus raised one of his paws, stretching it out, flexing his toes. His feet were almost mitten shaped due to the extra digits on each one.

Amadeus sprawled out on the ground, showing off his belly.

Mary, Lily, and Thea 'awwed' at the display.

Simone rolled her eyes, "Quick hamming it up, you silly creature," she chided.

Amadeus sniffed the air, his head up high and his tail straight up as he turned with a huff and waltzed back into his carrier, kicking his back feet out once in turn like he would in a litter box, as if telling Simone,  _'I'm done with you.'_

"Love you too, you menace," Simone kneeled down and closed the case, "Well now that that's done, we best be off. You'll be leaving the station soon and Thea's parents are expecting us for a 'fond' goodbye before we leave with Minks."

Thea nodded, checking her watch, "We're already behind schedule as it is," she said fretfully.

Simone placed a comforting hand on Thea's arm, "Relax, I'll deal with your parents."

Simone turned back to the others, "Right, so this is goodbye for now," she pulled Petunia into another hug, "I'll write often."

"I will too," Thea said, hugging Petunia tightly.

Petunia returned both embraces with enthusiasm, "I'll be sure to write back."

"We'll see you all at school," Simone said to the rest of the group. Pausing, she eyed Severus momentarily, before springing forward and wrapping her arms around him.

"Because it annoys you so much," she said teasingly, "See you at school."

Picking up her pet carrier, Simone linked arms with Thea and led her away, disappearing in the crowd.

"We should say goodbye to our folks too," Mary said.

Finding their families right where they left them, everyone began saying their goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Lily-flower," Hank said fondly, hugging his daughter tight, "Try not to break too many hearts, alright."

"Dad," Lily half whined, half laughed, "I'm not even thinking about boys. There's too much work to do at school."

"That will change, trust me," Willow said, pulling her daughter into her arms, "Write us, darling."

"I will mum," Lily promised.

Lily stopped and turned to her sister, unsure what to expect. It was their first year on good terms in ages.

Petunia broke the silence first. Pulling Lily into a hug, she held Lily for a long moment.

"Be safe, okay?" she whispered worriedly.

Lily could only nod, touched by her sister's concern.

Severus stood off to the side, unsure what to do. When Willow glanced up and spotted him, she leaped forward tugging him into an embrace and squeezing him tightly, "Take care of yourself, you hear?" she said, "Don't be afraid to write to us, okay?"

Severus flushed, feeling quite awkward in her arms, "Um…alright."

Satisfied, Willow released him, only for Petunia to step forward.

"You're still not the nicest boy," Petunia sniffed, not looking Severus in the eye, "But I suppose you could be worse. You're not so bad to live with. I'd...appreciate if if you looked out for Lily."

Severus nodded, "I intend to."

Petunia looked at him, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

"See you at the holidays," she said, walking back over to her mother and effectively ending their conversation.

Just when Severus thought the awkwardness was done, he was swept into an embrace by Lily's father.

"Have a good time, my boy," Hank said, patting Severus on the back, "Make the best out of each day. We'll see you both come holidays."

"I think you've made your point, dad," Lily said coming to Severus's rescue, "We have to get on the train."

Severus shot Lily a grateful look when something caught his eye over Lily's shoulder. Or rather someone…

Eileen Snape stood by one of the station pillars, peering out at the crowd much like a frightened mouse would overlooking a room of sleeping cats. Not seeing her son approach, she jumped when he touched her shoulder.

"Mum," Severus said in lieu of a greeting, "What are you doing here?"

Eileen looked around nervously, her mannerisms reminiscent of a skittish bird.

"I wanted to come see you off," she admitted timidly, "But I missed you before you left Cokeworth this morning."

Severus observed his mother carefully. She was still painfully thin as ever, with bony hands and a near skeletal frame, but her color was better, a tiny bit of sun to her face. She appeared to be bathing more, her hair clean and pulled back in a loose bun, fingernails lacking dirt underneath them. The clothes she was wearing were clean, wrinkled but absent of any of the dirt she usually bore. Clearly time without Tobias was being remotely good to her, thought Severus had a feeling Eileen would be hard pressed to admit that.

"How have you been?" Severus ventured.

"Okay, okay," Eileen said anxiously, looking around and bobbing her head in short, jerky motions, "I've been going to the classes they appointed me in court; things have been well. No Toby, no drinking…it's different."

"Same here," Severus replied, "I'm seeing a therapist, working on sorting out my past…"

"That's good, that's good," his mother murmured, but it was unlikely she had truly heard, "Been cleaning up the house a tad; so many beer bottles. Don't know how we even bought them all over the years. There's money coming in, though I don't know where it comes from...the ministry I suppose. Been visiting Diagon Alley a lot…looking for work. I go alone, of course…because I don't know anyone…it's been so long…"

Severus stayed quiet, letting his mother ramble.

"I-I haven't gotten a new wand yet," Eileen admitted, "It's too soon, Toby wouldn't like that..."

Severus froze, wondering if Eileen realized Dumbledore and Wrence had no intention of ever letting Tobias impede on their lives ever again.

"B-but I've started playing Gobstones again," Eileen rambled on, "I used to love it so much. I taught you once, do you remember? I was...I was one of the best at school...those were different times..."

When the train whistle blew in warning, Severus cut his mother off, boldly hugging her around the middle.

Eileen stiffened up in shock when Severus first touched her, but after a few moment she relaxed, enfolding her son in her arms and stroking his hair.

For a moment or two, mother and son just stood there, phasing out the rest of the world to just be together. Neither of them knew when they would be able to see each other yet.

"Take care of yourself, mum," Severus whispered, "I'll write you."

"…You too, Severus," Eileen said softly.

Severus stepped back and gave his mom a weak smile, getting an even weaker one in turn. Turning away, he hurried over to Lily, who was lingering by one of the train doors.

"Everything alright?" she asked. She watched as her parents went to approach Eileen, their intent clearly friendly, but the woman scurried away before they reached her.

"No," Severus said honestly. And he was right. Things were still strained between he and his mother. She was still lost, still unsure and broken. She hadn't apologized to Severus for how she treated him over the years, for choosing to stay with Tobias all those years, but then again, Severus hadn't expected her too. Not yet, "But I think we're getting there."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not one of my longer chapters but decent all the same I think.
> 
> I'm honestly not sure where things will go with Eileen at this time. On the one hand I would like to see her get her life together, but I also don't know how I feel about Severus ever returning to her care. Truthfully, Eileen strikes me as someone who's life would have been better without children. Having grown up in a home with parents so flippant about love that they would cast her out for who she married, I don't see Eileen having the most nurturing upbringing and therefore not instilled with a lot of maternal capabilities.
> 
> Motherhood represents a time in her life when she was left pregnant and lacking an inheritance to support herself meaning she would be stuck with her abusive husband just to fed and raise the child. At this point in her life, Eileen might benefit from living life for HER and learning how to be selfless and giving by choice instead of out of obligation.
> 
> So yeah, that's a thought I have been mulling over.
> 
> Amadeus is dedicated to my Maine Coon Pandora, the fat furry fucker who gives me cuddles and likes to headbutt my laptop closed on me.
> 
> Read and review :)


	26. Back Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily venture forth to their sixth year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone!
> 
> The moment we have all been waiting for has arrived. Severus and Lily are back at Hogwarts (or they will be by the end of the chapter). 
> 
> We can now look forward to hi-jinks, drama, intrigue and silliness. After all, put the Marauders and Severus under the same roof is bound to cause issues and Simone is her can of worms. 
> 
> Thanks to my faithful readers and reviewers and I welcoming everyone who is just joining us. Every time I get a review from a new reader I do a little happy dance.

* * *

 

"I hardly see the point of this exercise," Severus griped.

"It's supposed to be fun, Severus," Nesme insisted, lightly stroking the backs of Severus's tightly clenched fingers, "We mess with the stimuli a bit and it causes a sensation at the end that gives you chills."

They were almost to Hogwarts now, and Severus's compartment was looking for all sorts of games to pass the time until they arrived. Not long after a round of Exploding Snap, Nesme had decided to test out some mind/body tricks she learned from her cousins over the holidays.

She unfolded Severus hand and ran her fingertip up each of Severus's fingers. Pinching her thumb and forefinger together, she mimed sewing something back and forth on either side of Severus's hand, poking on one side and pinching and pulling on the other. She moved into the center of his palm and pinched the middle, carefully pulling her fingers up and away, "Did you feel it?"

Severus shook his head, "What exactly am I supposed to be feeling?"

Nesme huffed, dropping Severus hand with a pout, "It's  _supposed_  to feel like a thread being pulled through your hand!"

"Ooh, do me!" Mary said excitedly, "Me next, me next!" She held her hand out for Nesme, the Hufflepuff girl gladly taking it and having Mary make a fist.

Severus frowned, "What's the point of doing this? You're just messing around with the nerves' sensitivity."

Nesme sighed, "You are too serious, sometimes."

Lily laughed, "See, that's Severus for you. He takes the fun out of everything. Just be glad you weren't telling a ghost story. 'If they were never seen again, how do you know their story?' A right downer, he is."

Severus scowled, "It was a fair question."

"It was a stupid made up story," Lily shot back, "It shouldn't have to be factual."

"At least you admit it was stupid," Severus muttered.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him and Severus hid his face behind a book, nonchalantly pretending to read.

Nesme chuckled, "See? This is why I'm friends with you, Severus. Your sarcasm and wit is too funny."

"You'll find that a terrible reason to hang out with me," Severus drawled.

"I chose to find out for myself," Nesme said boldly. She pinched her fingers together in the center of Mary's palm and pulled away slowly.

Mary shivered, "I felt it!" she exclaimed.

"Isn't it neat?" Nesme asked merrily.

"It is," Mary agreed.

Lily crossed over to Nesme and Mary, sitting down, "I might as well give it a go, too. Do you always do things like this, Nesme?"

The Hufflepuff nodded, "I like things that give you chills—in a good way, that is. That's why I took Divination. The quiet, the whispers, someone paying close attention to me, lightly touching my hand; it makes me all tingly and relaxed in the best way. I feel like I could fall asleep."

"I get that way when someone plays with my hair," Lily admitted, "And Severus does too."

"No I do not," Severus denied.

Lily nodded, "Yes you do. When I run my finger behind your ear repeatedly, tucking a strand of hair behind it, you look like your about to drift off."

Severus grumbled something unintelligible and ducked back behind his book, knees drawn up on the seat.

Davis chuckled, "Now you've done it, Lily. I don't think he'll ever emerge from behind that book again."

"Oh, I think he will," Lily said playfully. She reached out her leg and toed at Severus shin.

Severus kicked out weakly.

"Quit it," came a clipped demanded from behind the book.

Lily giggled.

"I've missed this," Nesme mused, "Riding the train, goofing off with friends, it all brings back the mystical adventure of Hogwarts. Too bad Simone and Thea don't ride with us."

"Simone did one year," Davis pointed out.

"What happened?" Lily asked.

"The conductor asked her to never come back," was Davis's vague reply.

Lily and Mary exchanged questioning, if not amused glances.

"That poor conductor," Nesme said with a sigh, "He never saw her coming."

"Okay, so Simone is clearly not the innocent lady she acts like," Mary surmised, "And you two are friends with her how, again?"

Davis shrugged, "We have a mutual appreciation of intellectual pursuits."

"I just like her sass," Nesme confessed, "She sticks up for us, lets us know we aren't just the eggheads," she pointed to Davis, "Or the throw away rejects of Hogwarts," she pointed to herself.

Davis nodded, "No offense to you guys, but Gryffindor and Slytherin are touted as the important Houses while Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff get overlooked as the places you go if you're not 'good enough' for the first two."

"Simone sees the value in us that others don't," Nesme finished, "Her and Thea have always treated us like equals."

"How long have you two been friends with them?" Lily inquired.

"Since about second year, though some of our other friends from our houses had started doing study groups with Thea and Simone since first year," Nesme answered.

"When we were invited to join the study group, that's when we were first introduced to those two," Davis put in.

Nesme looked down, tapping her fingers together, "To be honest, I was one of the girls being bullied by that girl Cynthia during my first year. I always sort of admire Simone for standing up to her and as awful as it is to say this, I'm glad she chased that girl off."

"From the rumors, it doesn't sound like Cynthia was the sort of person who was going to change her ways," Mary pointed out, "She was a halfblood notoriously proud of her father's magical side and acted like she was a pureblood, picking on muggleborns and other halfbloods."

"She was a social climber," Severus stated, "Determined to rise to the top by acting better than she actually was and denying any shortcomings she may have had. I...I was sort of doing the same...I guess."

Lily smiled at Severus, patting him on the back, "It's very big of you to admit that."

Severus shifted awkwardly, pulling his book closer to hide his face.

"Wouldn't have hidden my muggle side if my father wasn't such a drunk ass," he muttered, only loud enough for Lily to hear.

"You know I heard that Umbridge woman from the ministry is the same way," Mary remarked, "the pretending to be pureblood thing, I mean. Alice told me all about it; Umbridge's own father works at the ministry and she pretends they aren't related, claims instead that she can trace her heritage back to some renowned pureblood line."

"She does realize the ministry has records on us all and our family lines, right?" Severus asked, bemused, "I mean, I could get away with it here at school to some degree because not everyone looked into it, but at the ministry you can just look up any file with ease."

"She must really be hoping no one would care enough to check," Lily said.

"If you ask me, it wouldn't matter what her bloodline was," Mary said with a smirk, "No one is going to want anything to do with her, looking like a little toad!"

Lily giggled while Severus and Davis smirked.

Nesme crossed her arms, "Hey now, let's not make fun of someone for how they look. We can't all be super models." She shifted in her seat, pulling her shirt down, the fabric riding up on her zaftig form.

"Nesme, you're adorable," Mary assured her, "You've got curves for days; who cares that you're plump. But that Umbridge woman..." she mocked gagged, "she's a muggle hating hag and her personality is as ugly as her appearance, making her look even worse. I know they say you shouldn't judge a person on their appearance, but let me tell you, there is nothing good about a person who looks like a slimy toad."

The compartment door opened.

"If you ask me its worse to look like a slimy snake," came a snide voice.

Sirius and James poked their heads into the compartment, twin grins on their faces. Behind them, Peter fidgeted off to the side.

"You'd know all about that wouldn't you Snivellous," Sirius said with a smirk.

"Don't start, Black," Mary said, more hostility in her voice than anyone had ever heard her use on Sirius, "We were having a good time here, don't ruin it."

Sirius blinked, taken aback by the anger behind Mary's words; he always thought Mary fancied him, "What's got your knickers in a twist, MacDonald?"

"Look, just go, Black," Lily jumped in, "We don't want to fight with you."

James's hand went to his hair.

"Hi there, Evans," he said, acting as if she hadn't spoken, "How was your summer."

"Wonderful, thank you," Lily said cordially, "and frankly, I'd like my last day of it to be peaceful so I don't want any trouble."

James leaned further into the compartment, "Well how about you make your last summer day even better and spend it with me?" he asked, "There's plenty of room in our compartment."

"I'd really rather not," Lily told him, not unkindly, "I'm having a lovely time right here, thank you. Besides, Severus and I were going to review our summer homework and Davis offered to proofread it."

"Who the bloody hell is Davis?" Sirius asked obnoxiously.

Davis waved his hand in the air, "Hey there."

Sirius squinted at Davis, scrutinizing him, "You're that Goldstein boy who got me kicked out of the library that one time, aren't you?"

Davis stared at Sirius blandly, "You were going to set off dungbombs in the potions section."

'I bet I have a feeling who that prank was meant for,' Severus thought sourly.

"It isn't my fault you were up to no good," Davis continued, "My study group needs the library, you stinking it up would have cut into our valuable revision time."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Oh great, another Einstein." He snickered, "Hey...Goldstein...Einstein, I wasn't far off."

"Truly your comedic genius knows no bounds," Severus drawled.

Sirius turned to Severus with a scowl, "You got something to say, Snivellous?"

"Still relying on infantile nicknames, Black?" Severus said with a sneer.

"Sev, don't," Lily said gently, placing a hand on his arm.

James watched the exchange suspiciously, eyeing Lily's hand on Severus's arm.

"Yeah, 'Sev'," Black mocked, "Better listen to the lady."

Severus had a scathing remarked on the tip of his tongue, but instead he held back, turning to look out the window.

Angry at having Severus turn his back on him, Sirius scowled, "I'm talking to you, Snape." He moved to step into the compartment.

"Sirius," came Remus voice.

Remus's head came into view over James's shoulder, "There you all are," he glanced into the compartment, "What are you guys doing now? School hasn't even started yet and you're already picking fights?"

"We weren't doing anything," James denied, face a mask of innocence.

"Yeah, we were just stopping by to pay our 'favorite' Slytherin a visit," Sirius added, smirking nastily at Severus.

Remus rolled his eyes with a sigh, "Cut it out you guys, let's just get back to our compartment."

"Hang on a sec," Sirius said.

"No, Sirius," Remus cut him off. He looked tired, concerned, "Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about anyway." His eyes flitted over to Severus for a brief moment, so quick his friends missed it.

James frowned, "Just give me a minute, Remus," he said, "I was talking to Lily."

"Actually I believe we were done talking," Lily pointed out, "You go with Remus; I'm sure we'll see each other in class."

James looked at Lily affronted, not sure what to make of her casual dismissal, "But..."

"You heard her, James," Remus said, stepping forward to gently take James by the arm, "Let's go."

James cast one last glance at Lily, allowing Remus to pull him out of the compartment. Looking at Snape, his eyes hardened for a moment, his gaze lingering where Lily had touched the Slytherin.

"Come on, Sirius," Remus called, leading James and Peter down the train.

Sirius looked back into the compartment, glaring at Severus before withdrawing and walking off.

Nesme leaned over and shut the door.

"Well," she said, "That could have been worse, right?"

 

{page break}

 

The Welcome-Back Feast was as grand as ever. Candles floated in the air, mystifying the muggleborn first years standing in the center of the room before McGonagall. Fall well on its way but not yet arrived, mums of festive oranges, yellows, and cranberry sat in pots at every table and around the raised platform the professors' table was on. A peaceful moonlight sky was the image of chose to decorate the hall ceiling that night, creating a dazzling, welcoming, and enchanting feel for students new and old.

As the Sorting Ceremony was still going on, dinner had not yet made an appearance on the tables, but appetizers of bread and butter, as well as assorted nuts and plates of raw vegetables were dispensed evenly among the tables, courtesy of the house elves so that the students may have something to tide them over during the lengthy process.

Simone prodded Severus with the end of her celery stick.

"Why so glum, chum?" she asked teasingly, "Sad you were torn away from your Lily?"

She continued to poke him with her vegetable, prompting Severus to bat her hand away.

Severus looked across the hall to where Lily was seated, relieved to see her among a cluster of female friends and well away from Potter, whom he delighted in the frustration of as the messy haired boy kept sending hopeful yet ignored glances down the table at the redhead.

Potter and Black were seated with their usual friends, though there seemed to be a bit of a funk hanging over the pair. Pettigrew looked back and forth between them, unsure of himself as usual. Remus on the other hand was munching happily on a handful of cashews, offering a few to his gloomy companions, who took them without a fight and made a valiant effort to partake in his small talk. It would seem they were less than thrilled to hear about Remus's truce with Snape.

Not that Severus cared, he was just happy Lily was ignoring them.

"She's not  _my_  Lily," he said dourly, "She's just my friend."

"But you wish it were more than that," Simone sang.

"Anyway," Severus continued, ignoring that last statement, "That's not what's bothering me."

"Then what is?" Simone asked. She took a glance around the room, "Oh…"

From nearly every corner of the room, there were at least three sets of eyes staring at the Slytherin table. Students from every other house kept sneaking peeks over their shoulders at Severus, leaning in close to whisper to one another. The older years tended to keep the glances to a minimum, but the younger years gawked openly without shame, some even pointing Severus out to their friends. Few would look towards the Gryffindor table at Lily from time to time as well.

"Ah," Simone observed, "I'd say word spreads fast, but they have had nearly three months for this to get out."

"I don't see why what happened is any business of theirs," Severus said moodily.

"It's a big deal," Simone said, "In these dark times, a Slytherin openly taking a stand against suspected Death Eaters is nearly unheard of. Our house is the closest to the political tension and the most likely to have insiders for You-Know-Who that could retaliate on his behalf. That's why so many dissenters to his ideals have laid low in our dorms, so as not to wake up hexed black and blue." She pointed at Severus with a long, dainty finger, "You broke the status quo."

"They're acting like I killed You-Know-Who himself," Severus muttered.

Simone laughed, "They wish. Anyway, you can't blame them for taking an interest; you're like a legend to them now. I'm sure for many it was odd enough seeing a Gryffindor and Slytherin maintain a friendship all these years, but a Slytherin laying his life on the line for a muggleborn? Unheard of since You-Know-Who sprung up."

"The hype will die down soon, Severus," Thea offered helpfully, "New gossip comes along every day."

"Yes, I'm sure some idiot will splinch themselves off a foot during apparation lessons or get a broom stuck up their bum on the Quidditch pitch," Simone mused.

Thea frowned, glaring at Simone, "That's not a very nice thing to hope for."

Simone shrugged, "It's nice for me."

She chuckled, only for it to end in a squeak as Thea sharply pinched her side.

"Rude!" she gasped.

Thea just grinned cheekily, nibbling on the end of a slice of bread.

A smattering of polite and proper applause rose up from their table as the first new Slytherin of the night was sent their way from the sorting hat stool. A short girl in pigtails stood nervously by the table, warily eyeing the available seats with trepidation and a complete lack of confidence.

"Great," Muttered, Severus, "A student without a spine. She won't last a day."

Simone nodded solemnly.

"Over here!" Thea called out to the girl, waving her hand above her head, "This seat is available."

Relieved to see a friendly face, the little girl scrambled into the seat next to Thea.

"Hello there," Thea said kindly, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we didn't catch your name. What is it, dear?"

"T-Tiffany," the girl said, swinging her feet back and forth. She was so small her school robes practically swallowed her, "Tiffany Chesterfield." Obviously not a pureblood name.

Thea smiled warmly, "Now no need for last names. You'll find not all of Slytherin is as obsessed with lineage as you've probably heard."

Tiffany smiled, a look of relief and calm settling over her features, "That's good…I was worried."

"Slytherin is for the clever, the crafty," Thea went on, a hand on Tiffany's shoulder, "For the inventive and pioneering. Here, you hone your skills and explore new ways to make your dreams happen; unheard of ways, ground breaking ways. The other houses are lovely, full of the brave risk takers, the loyal and steadfast, the ever hardworking scholars, but here…here in Slytherin you must combine those strength and make something new and all your own to get what you want. We seek take the path less travel to achieve our goals and in doing so embrace a life of pride and ingenuity!"

Tiffany listened with rapt attention, awestricken by Thea's speech.

Severus looked at Simone questioningly.

Simone shrugged, "Thea's good with kids."

At least six more students were sorted into Slytherin that evening, several of which flocked to Thea's side or ended up changing seats to get closer to her the more they heard her talk. Severus never noticed before, but he realized this must happen every year new students joined their House, he himself too absorbed in his brooding to ever notice the crowd Thea managed to draw in.

Thea talked motherly to the first years, clucking over them like a hen. She asked them about their hobbies, if they had any siblings or pets, about if they were excited for classes to begin. She comforted the homesick, eased the anxious, and calmed the hyper with practiced ease. The first years all chattered happily at her, vying for her attention and being rewarded with a charming smile and affectionate pat on the head.

"I thought Thea was an only child like you," Severus whispered, "How did she get this good with kids?"

"She's this good  _because_  she's an only child," Simone whispered back, "She wants a big family someday."

There was a gentle tugging at Severus's robes.

"Are you a Ring Wraith?" asked a little boy with a gaped toothed smile.

Simone coughed into her pumpkin juice, struggling through the pain to withhold her laughter.

Severus scowled down at the boy.

"Because I read that they're all thin and bony looking," the little boy—Nicholas—Severus remembered Thea saying—continued, "and they look all mean and angry like you."

Simone was face down on the table, her hair spread out across the wood like a pool of ink as her shoulders quaked with barely suppressed laughter.

"Tolkien," she chortled under her breath, "Good old Tolkien."

Mistaking Simone's behavior for choking, Thea thumped Simone helpfully on the back, a fretful look on her face.

Severus glared down at Nicholas menacingly, feeling his lips curl back in a sneer.

Ready to unleash a volley of harsh words onto the unsuspecting child, the sensation of someone watching him caught his attention.

Lily sat on the other side of the room, her eyes alight with mirth as she watched him. Meeting his eyes, she waved happily at him, clearly glad to have caught his attention. Noticing the boy next to him, her smile widened and she gave Severus a thumbs up.

' _Be nice,'_  she mouthed encouragingly.

Severus looked back down at Nicholas, the boy staring wide eyes and innocently up at him.

Pinching the bridge of his nose with a groaned, Severus bit back a growl and took a deep breath. Steeling himself, he turned to the boy with a strained smile.

"Why no, I'm not," Severus said through gritted teeth, a fake, sickly sweet tone to his voice that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, "I'm not a wraith of any kind, Tolkien or otherwise. I'm a wizard just like you…I'm just thin and moody. You should know that Ring Wraiths are just a story, you little…silly thing." He patted the boy on the head, resisting the urge to throttle him.

Nicholas blinked, taking in his words.

"Oh…okay," he said, sounding mildly disappointed. Nicholas turned back to his friends and got roped into a discussion about fairies.

Severus sat back with a sigh, hanging his head in frustration and defeat.

"That was kind of you," Simone said, having regained her composure.

"Shut it," Severus growled out of the side of his mouth, "It's just because he's a kid. Anyone over Third year will get a full taste of my wrath for such impertinence."

"Wouldn't want you any other way," Simone said sweetly.

"Annoying hag," Severus sneered.

"My little sunbeam," Simone said back, smiled mockingly.

"Pain in my ass."

"Light of my life."

"Shush, you two," Thea scolded, a finger to her lips, "The Headmaster is speaking."

Dumbledore had begun to talk, launching into his beginning of the year speech.

"I would like to remind you all that the Forbidden Forest is off limits to any students, failure to adhere to that will result in certain death." He paused for dramatic effect.

The older students rolled their eyes and snorted at that statement while the first years stared up at Dumbledore in horror.

"Also, Mr. Filch has asked me to inform you that the list of band items on school grounds has been edited to include the latest Zonko's products, including but not limited to: dungbombs, fizzing whizbees, and teleporting hand buzzers. For the complete list, please look to Mr. Filch's office door, where it has been so graciously posted."

A glance at the Gryffindor table showed James and Sirius looking to each other in excitement, mischief gleaming in their eyes.

"Now I'm sure you're all famished from your long trip, but first I would like to give you all a word of advice," Dumbledore stated.

"These are changing times we are in," he began, "sides are being chosen, some for good…and some for bad. Some enemies are becoming friends, some friends becoming enemies and some friendships are being tested to come out stronger on the other side. You'll find yourself tested in ways you never imagined in the following years as with darkness in their heart pit you against your greatest fears, but heed not…for in the darkness, there is always a light still burning, just as long as the fire still burns in you. Trust in yourselves, trust in each other, and trust in love."

Dumbledore clapped his hands, "And now…tuck in!"

Dinner appeared on the table, much to the oohs and ahs of the first years who had never seen a buffet so grand. Students instantly began piling their plates with various goodies.

"That was vague," Simone said quietly.

"But pointed," Added Severus, "We all know what he was talking about with friendships being made stronger."

Simone nodded, "Indeed. It would seem he wishes to tote you as an example of house unity."

"Brilliant," Severus drawled.

Thea wiped her mouth daintily, "On the bright side, he had the good grace to not publically mention last year's incident on the train. I doubt Lily or Mary would appreciate their ordeal being dragged out in the open so boldly like that."

"Neither would I," groused Severus.

Dinner was an overall pleasant affair, dessert following without much further ado. When the tables were yet again clear of plates and cutlery, Dumbledore stood yet again to give his closing speech.

"And so the first day of school and the end of summer closes on a peaceful note, bellies full and sleep lining our eyes. I trust you will all get right to bed now, in preparation for your first classes of the year tomorrow morning. We will see you all bright and early down here for breakfast. Goodnight and good tidings."

At the headmaster's dismissal, the prefects at each table stood up and began rounding up their first years. Most of the tables were loud and boisterous as they left the hall, but the Slytherin table stood up as a unified group, solemnly turning and marching out of the hall in neat straight lines, the very picture of poise and dignity.

"We must show respect and grace," Thea explained to the first years, shooing them off with a fond goodnight to go join their prefect.

Severus caught a glimpse of Potter and Black as he walked out, the two imitating the Slytherins' march in an exaggerated, constipated fashion while Remus's back was turned. Nearby, a few students craned their necks to see Severus over the crowd, some still being so bold as to point and whisper about him in plain sight.

"This is going to be a long year," Severus said wearily.

"I know," Simone chirped, "It's going to be great." She rubbed her hands together eagerly.

 

{page break}

 

"So how was your summer, Lily," asked Jessica, one of Lily's year mates.

Lily and her friends were gathered in their dorm room, spread out on their beds or unpacking their suitcases. The room was cozy enough, with elegant bed curtains hanging off of every bedframe, and ornate, red and gold rugs and wall hangings filling every blank space. The furniture was made of fine, solid mahogany, carved with lovely molds around the bottoms and tops, golden knobs in the center of each drawer on the dressers and nightstands.

"My summer was nice," Lily replied, putting away some of her clothing, "Uneventful for the most part, I suppose, but nice." It wasn't a complete lie, most of her summer days had been quiet and lacking in excitement, the trials and custody hearings notwithstanding.

"I imagine you and Mary would welcome some inactivity after the horrid end to your school year last year," Meldonna, a curly blonde said. Many of the other girls nodded in sympathy.

Lily winced, thankful her back was to them. It really was tactless to bring up what she and Mary went through.

"Well I for one am glad to be back," Mary said, flopping down on her bed with a huff, "I want things to go back to normal as possible."

"But can they really?" Jessica asked in what she probably thought was a considerate tone, "After all you went through—"

"Boy, I sure am tired," Mary said loudly, "What about you, Lils? Ready to catch some sleep?"

"Am I ever," Lily answered, shifting through her trunk, "Though I wonder how well I will sleep. It's the first night I'll be sleeping without—" she caught herself just in the nick of time, eyes going wide at what she almost let slip.

"Without what?" Meldonna asked curiously.

Abigail, a stubby brunette titled her head in wonder, "Yeah, what?"

Even Mary was looking at Lily expectantly.

"My…uh…my baby blanket!" Lily blurted out, her mind working fast, "It's sort of embarrassing to admit, but no need to hide it now, I guess. I've been sleeping with it since I got home, for…you know, security. I left it at home because I was worried you would all make fun of me."

"Oh, Lily," Jessica simpered, "We would never make fun of you for that. It's perfectly natural for you to want some sense of safety after what happened last year."

The other girls nodded.

"Yeah," said Abigail, "I would hate to be in yours or Mary position; it must have been terrifying. If Snape hadn't come along—"

"Who knew Snape would be a hero," Snorted Jessica.

"Hero to a Gryffindor no less," added Meldonna.

Abigail nodded, "Especially after he called you that nasty name."

"I think we've had quite enough of rehashing the past for one night," Mary cut in, giving an exaggerated yawn, "We should all probably get some sleep."

The others exchanged curious glances, not noticing the grateful look Lily shot Mary.

"Well…okay, I guess," Jessica said after a beat, "We do have class in the morning…"

"All the better reason to turn in now," Mary announced, climbing into bed and pulling her curtains shut, "Night, all."

"Night, Mary," the other girls chimed.

One by one, the girls bid each other goodnight, climbing into their respective bedding and turning down the lights.

Only Lily did not go to sleep right away. When all was quiet, she carefully crept over to her trunk. Opening, she rummaged inside until she found what she was looking for.

With a fond smile, Lily pulled out Severus's pillow. She doubted the dark haired boy knew she had swiped it from his bed at home before they left that morning, being quick to stuff it into her trunk before anyone had noticed.

Crawling into bed, she pulled the pillow close to her, holding it besides her the way she and Sev had slept side by side each night. The scent of the linen soothed her, every fiber embedded with the scent of cut grass, mint and cinnamon with just a touch of ink and sweat.

Lily smiled, if she closed her eyes it was almost as if he was right next to her. She knew she would have to learn to sleep without him for the year, but it was not a path she saw being easy. At least this way, she could ease her way into the separation. Maybe she could find a charm in her textbooks for making the smell last longer.

Clutching the pillow tightly to her, Lily closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, hopeful no nightmares would come to her that night.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done and our heroes are finally back at school. I know you've all been dying for them to return to where the action is. And by actions, we mostly mean drama! (Aw to be a teenager and addled with hormones).
> 
> I did some fleshing out of a few of our ocs, since we want people, not blank sounding boards for Lily and Sev to just bounce words off of. If you noticed, Nesme may have a tiny thing for ASMR, though she doesn't know it's called that (I don't think they had labeled the phenomenon yet). I have to say Nesme may take after me. She's chubby, she's average looking, she's perky and bubbly and likes to crochet and gets ASMR tingles from soft words and pencil scratching on paper. The only true difference between us is that she's a Hufflepuff and I've always held myself as a proud Slytherin (I'm crafty and witty when I want to be). 
> 
> Well I hope to see you all next chapter!
> 
> Read and review please :)


	27. Daily Monotony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School resumes and life goes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone and Happy Halloween.
> 
> I would like to apologize about the fact that Halloween will be covered in this story later on in the year (probably by next month if I stick to my chapter a week quota). It would have made no sense to rush through a month and a half of the sixth year just to have a special chapter out by Halloween.
> 
> Can you believe I didn't know what to name this chapter? Seriously, it slipped my mind to name it when I started this one. I left it blank at the top like, "I'll get back to that" and I didn't! It's only now that I am ready to post it that I realize it wasn't named. In the end, the title isn't that good, but I guess it fits, since not much action goes on in this chapter.

* * *

 

It was another day of monotony for Severus. After fighting off sleep in History of Magic—how he wished that class was optional only—he sailed through his Arithmacy lesson with the usual ease and was now attempting to feign interest in Transfiguration.

Most classes were relatively easy for Severus these days, mostly due to his habit of reading weeks ahead and practicing coursework that had not yet been assigned. He could not say he excelled in Charms—the carefree, whimsical nature of those spells directly clashing with his need for rigidity and structure—but he was a whiz in Defense Against the Dark Arts. And potions, he was so lacking in challenge there nowadays that he had been improving and altering existing potions since third year!

Transfiguration, however, was not a walk in the park. Despite acing all essays, term papers, and questions on theory, he rarely achieve the same marks for the practical applications of the transformative art.

Perhaps the root of the problem lied in what Transfiguration was; an easy way out. Severus enjoyed, even prided himself on hard work, on the hours of dedication and skill it took to do complicated feats with his own two hands. He always felt that rush of satisfaction in Potions, measuring, plotting, and combining the exact ingredients necessary to make nothing into something. In Ancient Runes, seemingly meaningless symbols combined to form complexities that would boggle the mind, achieved only by the studious and diligent.

In Transfiguration however, one would forgo achieving or creating the actual thing the desired and simply take what they had and turned it into an imitation of what they wanted.

To Severus, this went against everything he held dear for hardwork and the sweat off his own brow. It was lazy in his opinion: one simply gave up and working to earn something and just flicked their wand, problem solved.

That Cauldron you were trying to save up for? Whoosh, you just made a sink from the junkyard look like it.

That velvet cloak you spent ages working to afford? Swish! Now your worn out cotton jumper looks like it.

What was the point of working hard if one could simply 'fake it'? Why there had even been cases of people transfiguring degrees to hang on their wall in order to pass themselves off as Healers and Potioneers! They were usually caught eventually as the frauds they were, but they still benefit for a time from their laziness while truly gifted people slaved away for years to achieve the same dream.

Perhaps Severus was overthinking things. If Lily could hear his thoughts, she would most likely telling him so. What Severus called lazy, she would call ingenuity, the ability to make do with what you have.

Given Severus's dreary home life, it seemed odd he held no love for Transfiguration. It was a course that could grant him the ability to alter that which he loathed most about himself and his predicament. With a flick of his wand, he could have better clothes, he could make his books look brand new. But Severus resisted for years that temptation; he would not change himself just so that others would like him. If their reasoning for looking down on his was based on something as vain as appearance, that was their problem, not his.

He already had been forced to play the role of Pureblood just to be given enough support by some staff and Slytherin classmates to succeed; he would not don a façade just to win the approval of people like Potter. While he was happy to cast off ties to his father's side at school, there was always a sickening feeling that lingered with the knowledge that he had succumb to desperation and pretended he was something he was not.

"Human Transfiguration," McGonagall began, drawing Severus attention back to the present, "Also known as being an Animagus, is a precise and difficult art—calm down, Mr. Black, I'm not actually going to be teaching it to you!"

Sirius, who had been grinning ear to ear and bouncing in his seat, slumped down with a huff, a frown upon his face.

'I don't need teaching anyway," he muttered under his breath, but Severus heard him.

' _Interesting…'_  thought Severus.

"Now act of taking an animal form is different than any other form of Transfiguration." McGonagall lectured, "In regular Transfiguration, an item can become anything at any time that you choose. You do not have more than one animagus form. It is the form meant for you, it will act as a part of you to your very core, inherently who you are at heart." That is the only animal you will ever transform into at will for as long as you live.

"Now, that isn't to say someone else cannot turn you into an animal with regular transfiguration," McGonagall pointed out, "Transfiguring other humans is difficult, but not impossible. I could turn Mr. Pettigrew here into a ferret if I so chose."

Pettigrew squeaked and sunk lower in his chair, while James and Sirius looked at each other like it was the most hilarious and brilliant suggestion they had heard in days.

"However, the forceful transfiguration of another person is considered a grave violation of said person's rights and is considerably rude," McGonagall added, eying James and Sirius carefully, "You can receive a hefty fine should a victim of such an act choose to press charges."

"The difference between transforming into an animagus form and being transfigured into an animal is that for an animagus, the animal you become is as natural a state as your wizard form," McGonagall explained, levitating a piece of chalk to draw an elaborate sketch on the board of a person and a cat. There were arrows pointing to one another and an equal sign in the middle of them, "It is who you are, you feel quite at ease in it, while maintaining your mind. Now why would transfiguring a person into an animal differ from that?"

Several hands shot into the air.

McGonagall pointed out into the group, "Yes, Miss Evans?"

"A transfigured person is being forced into a form unnatural to them," Lily answered with ease.

McGonagall nodded, "Correct. Five points to Gryffindor."

Several Gryffindors turned to smile at Lily approvingly, while a few Slytherins sneered.

"Good answer," Severus whispered. Lily, seated besides him much to the frustration of Potter, smiled.

"Now who can tell me what would happen to someone in this unnatural state?" McGonagall asked.

Severus's hand shot up immediately.

"Yes, Mr. Snape?"

"They feel wrong, out of sorts. The mind is erratic, disorganized as the body struggles with the shape it has been turned into and the enchantment used to make them act the role," Severus said confidently.

Again, McGonagall nodded, "Precisely. Five points to Slytherin—that's enough hissing, Mr. Black!"

Sirius sat back with an unrepentant smirk, only to wince and turn to Remus accusingly, the sandy haired boy giving no indication he had just reached over and kicked Sirius.

"Another thing of note about an animagus is that the animal you become cannot be transfigured like regular animals can," McGonagall revealed, "Not successfully, anyway. If one were to try to change my cat form into a wicker basket, they would find a very hairy, meowing basket in my place. And I assure you, it would be very uncomfortable for me."

Severus watched Potter and Black out of the corner of his eye. The two were whispering discreetly as they could while McGonagall's back was turned. Peter glanced between the two, wringing his hands nervously while Remus seemed to not even be paying them any attention.

"Did you know that?" Black asked.

James shook his head, "No, there wasn't any mention of it in the book from the library?"

The boys huddled closer, the rest of their conversation dissolving into soft, nonsensical noise from were Severus was seated.

' _Very interesting,'_ Severus watched the two warily for the rest of class.

 

{page break}

 

"Tell me the day is over," Nesme begged as she slumped forward on the bench in the Great Hall, head bowed and forehead practically touching the table.

"Sit up straight," Simone chided, barely even looking up from her meal, "It's unbecoming to slouch."

"Well, I couldn't care less what other's thought of me," Nesme said stubbornly, but heaved herself up into a sitting position anyway.

Simone resisted rolling her eyes, "Just eat your lunch," she said, pushing Nesme's plate in front of the girl.

Nesme stuck her tongue out at Simone, taking a bite out of her Reuben sandwich, "You're too proper."

"Pureblood," Simone sing songed, taking a dainty bite of her salad.

Severus watched the exchange in bemusement.

"So you're just this bossy with everyone," he mused.

Simone swallowed her mouthful, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin, "But of course; you didn't think you were a special case, did you?"

"I was beginning to fear that was the case," Severus replied wryly.

The trio had placed themselves at the Hufflepuff table, Simone being quite adamant in her declaration that House rivalry and isolation was utter bullshit. Very few Hufflepuffs seemed bothered by their presence, having grown used to Simone ever since she first befriended Nesme. The only real reaction any of them showed was the occasional glance at Severus, this being the first time the Slytherin had ever sat at a different table.

Simone flipped her hair over her shoulder with a graceful wave of her hand, "Please, you wish you had my undivided attention. You were just in need of some much more extra care last year, that's all."

Severus snorted, "So anyway, where's your shadow?"

"Clucking over her chicks," Simone said in lieu of explanation, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at the Slytherin table.

Thea was seated surrounded by Slytherin first years, the excitable group talking over one another and constantly pushing each other out of the way on the bench to be close to the older Slytherin girl, all vying for her attention. Most were asking questions about the castle or teachers, some curious about the creatures in the Forbidden Forest. Several girls had styled their hair in a messy braid the same asThea's and a few children had piled their lunch plates with the exact same food selection as her.

They were making a decent bit of ruckus as a few of the older Slytherins were eyeing Thea's side of the table in disdain, disgusted with the undignified display.

For her part, Thea seemed to take all the chatter and childish fighting in stride, beaming down at the first years in motherly fondness.

"They're like baby ducks," Nesme commented in amusement, plucking a loose strand of sauerkraut from her plate and popping it in her mouth.

Simone observed the group at Slytherin with a smile, "It's like this every year, for the first week or so at least. They'll find their own friends and hobbies and begin to do their own thing. For now they're just looking for some guidance and reassurance and Thea's all too happy to give it to them."

"You said she likes little kids because she was an only child," Severus pointed out, "She wanted siblings. I'm surprised you aren't the same way."

Simone grinned cheekily at him, "Nah, I happened to greatly enjoy my singularity. My parents spoiled me relentlessly. Unlike many pureblood families, I wasn't raised primarily by house elves; my parents always found time for me. I supposed most of Slytherin would have had better personalities if their parents hadn't been off being aristocrats in their childhoods; sad." Simone shrugged, "Anyway, I doubt I'd have the patience for a little sibling."

"Plus with your short temper, you'd probably be up in arms constantly defending them from…" Severus trailed off, "Well…you know…"

"Racist bigots," Simone said with a wry grin, "You can just come out and say it, Severus. I'm well aware that my appearance gets me flak with my classmates."

"Take Parkinson, for example," Simone pointed to a sour-faced young man at Slytherin who was ignoring an underclassman talking besides him, "He refused to sit next to me from day one in Potions, thinks my brain isn't as developed as his to comprehend the instructions."

She pointed to another Sytherin, a square jawed girl peeling the skin off her grapes, looking rather offended that they hadn't been peeled for her before she arrived, "Bulstrode won't even take food off a platter I have touched. Her brother too; I heard him once say that he felt I should have separate goblets, because he didn't want to risk ever getting one my lips had been on. I'm not going to even bother mentioning what Rosier and his lot like to say when they think I'm not around."

"Slytherin purebloods tend to look for any reason to call someone an inferior," Severus mused.

"It's not just Slytherin and it isn't just purebloods," Simone informed Severus, pointing her fork at him.

She gestured to the Ravenclaw table, "Greengrass said it was baffling anyone could find 'my kind' attractive," her hand moved over to the Gryffindor table, "Cornwallace is a halfblood, and he actually commented that it was surprising there wasn't a separate school for people like me."

"Didn't that girl you scared into transferring also say something about your skin?" Severus asked, remembering the rumors.

Simone waved the comment away like it was a bothersome fly, "Yes, she said her ancestors probably owned my ancestors, but I'm used to that," her eyes narrowed dangerously, "her real mistake was messing with Thea; she's off limits."

Simone set her fork down, massaging her temples, "It's not even all bad comments that are the problem. A muggleborn who barely knew any people of my ethnicity once apologized for slavery when she met me. Another girl once told me that my hair was so 'pretty and unique' and asked if she could touch it. I'm sure they meant well, but they couldn't seem to understand that calling attention to my skin color at all was still singling me out as different."

"People these days rarely know how to act around those who aren't of the status quo," Nesme sighed. She looked down at her stomach, "I know it isn't the same thing, but I get sick and tired of people telling me I have a pretty face 'for a fat girl' or that I have a 'great personality' as though I should see it as some consolation prize for not being hit with a pretty stick." She put her sandwich down, unfinished.

Simone pushed Nesme's plate back towards her, "Don't you dare buy into that bullshit. You're a bombshell, sweetheart. You've got hips that would make a fertility goddess green with envy and breasts the size of my head. Add in those gorgeous blue eyes of yours and those dimples and you're a babe. Purebloods just pretend they can't see your beauty because they're jealous since half of them were told not to eat growing up in order to stay thin."

"Case and point," Severus quipped, pointing at Simone's salad.

Simone glared at Severus without any real heat.

"This is a starter salad," Simone defended, pushing her finished salad away and reaching for a Monte Cristo, "I have a list of things I'd rather do than give up good food and the first on that list is die." She bit into the sandwich with relish, closing her eyes in bliss before remembering she was in public and taking slower, smaller bites.

Severus snorted, "Anyway, Nesme, you're beautiful," Simone assured her friend, "I actually wish I had your thighs; with my big hips my legs look like toothpicks by comparison."

Nesme blushed, a small smile on her face.

Simone pointed to Nesme's half-eaten sandwich, "Now you enjoy your lunch and let those sourpusses be grouchy because they're always hungry."

Nesme carefully picked up her sandwich again and took a hesitant bite, to Simone's immense approval.

Simone clapped her hands, "Now, enough with my monologuing—seriously you all let me do that too often—Severus, pass me some of those grapes and cheeses, would you?"

"Hello all," Mary greeted, setting her book bag down and taking a seat next to Severus, "Mind if I join you?"

Simone tilted her head forward in greeting, "MacDonald, by all means. Where's Evans, I figured she would be with you."

"She's over at our table," Mary explained, pouring herself some pumpkin juice, "Jessica was dying to tell her about a date she went on over the summer. She insisted that it had to be now. I said she could join us over here, but Jess said she didn't think there would be room," she looked around the table, confused, "Funny, there seems to be plenty of seating available by the looks of it."

Simone looked over to the Gyffindor table, an unreadable look in her eyes.

Mary nudged Severus with her shoulder, "What are you having?"

Severus looked down at his plate, "Oh…a Killie pie."

"Sounds delish," Mary said, serving herself some, "So what are we all talking about."

"Just the growing list of things stuck up people may not like us for," Simone remarked dryly, a crooked grin on her face, "You know, our race, our weight, the fact that we can all say our parents only shared the same last name  _after_  they were married."

Nesme giggled, while Severus choked on his coffee.

"That's right, you did mention last year that discrimination was a problem for you," Mary recalled, thumping Severus lightly on the back, "But surely that doesn't happen here; I thought you were respected by your House."

"They respect the reputation I created for myself," Simone explained, "That doesn't mean any of them think highly of my 'pedigree'. Personally, I think my friendship with Thea is the only real reason they tolerate me. I am a useful ally to them or a worthy foe to avoid, that's about it. Outside of that, I'm no higher in breeding than a halfblood."

"So you're on the same standing as me," Severus said, "Welcome to the club."

"And me," Nesme chimed in, "Between my weight and being in Hufflepuff, I'm the perfect combination of reject."

"Me too, I suppose," Mary said, eating her pie, " A Gryffindor and a muggleborn; a must be ghastly to them."

"Half this school if not more is made up of prejudices," Simone said wisely, "The other Houses would just have you believe it was all Slytherin so that their Houses remain in good standing."

"You're absolutely right," Mary agreed, "You know, I developed earlier than the other girls in my dorm. Like…really early. They considered it unusual for my age. And I grew up with all brothers so I tended to hang out with boys like James and Sirius the first two years. Anyway, for months after, half the older students in my dorm were whispering behind my back, calling me a harlot; saying I had had half the boys in school."

"Good old fashioned sexism," Simone declared, raising her glass, "You'll find it's even worse among purebloods. Customarily, pureblood girls are kept away from boys outside their family unless accompanied by a chaperone of an older male cousin or uncle."

Severus nodded, "I overheard Narcissa talking about it once before she graduated. It starts once you hit puberty; after that, you're capable of bearing heirs so boys are taboo aside from betrothal meetings. That goes on until you marry, then no one cares who you dally with as long as any child you have can be passed off as your husband's. So really, playing with boys your own age is considered a sign of deviancy. That's why her sister Andromeda was already considered an outcast before she married a muggleborn; because she had been hanging around with him unsupervised long before they eloped."

Mary scowled, "What utter rubbish! Glad I'm not a pureblood."

"It's not all bad," Simone joked, "We have lots of money to compensate for it. You want a mansion; I can buy you a mansion."

Mary laughed, "Gee, who could turn down and offer like that?"

"I don't remember you ever offering me that sort of generosity," Severus said with a smirk.

Simone pointed a finger at him, "You I'd sooner buy a dungeon for. You'd feel more at home there anyway, you brooding little bastard."

Nesme and Mary burst out laughing at that.

Severus glowered at Simone, the pair caught in a staring contest neither was willing to lose.

Across the room, Lily looked forlornly over at the Hufflepuff table. She had been hoping to spend lunch with Severus and Mary having fun, but Jessica and the other girls had been adamant she sit with them at their own House's table. Despite Lily pointing out that it wasn't against the rules to sit at other tables, the girls opted against it for some odd reason.

It was a damn shame too; Severus and the others looked like they were having a grand time.

"And get this, you guys," Jessica was blathering, "Davey's father owns a vineyard!"

The other girls oohed and awed, so Lily did her best to look impressed. It wasn't easy though. When did her friends become so boy-obsessed and shallow? Had they always been this way? Lily would like to say that Jessica fawning over boys and how good looking they were or how much money they had was a new thing, but honestly it was hard to recall what Jessica was like in her first or second year.

Lily had spent most of her first two years at Hogwarts with Severus every chance she got, only striking up any real comradery with the girls in her dorm as she and Sev began to drift apart and she became more displeased with his choice of company. Since Severus had been quick to try and find fault in those she hung out with in turn, she had turned a blind eye to any flaw the girls had in favor of focusing on their good points: they weren't interested in Dark magic. Now that she was willing to see the other side of things though, she was finding her friends less and less interesting and more bland and vain than she could ever imagine.

There actually wasn't much difference between Jessica or Meldonna and the Slytherin girls. They were obsessed with hair and make-up, noses buried in copies of Witches Weekly looking for new fashion advice or the latest gossip. They didn't seem to have the hatred for muggles that Slytherin girls had, but the two Gryffindors were often times fixated more on the contents of a wizard or muggles wallet than anything else. They had to be good looking too; that was a must. Falling for someone who didn't meet their high standards of beauty or handsomeness was scandalous in their eyes.

That is why they had always tried to push her towards James. In their eyes, Lily's beauty and James's good looks meant the pair were ideal for one another. It didn't matter that Lily had about as much in common with Potter as a Mermaid did with a Cornish Pixie, all Lily's friends cared about were what a lovely pair they would make.

Jessica and Meldonna had always turned their noses up at Lily's association with Severus right from the first day of school in first year. They thought it wasn't lady-like for Lily to play with a boy; it wasn't proper. They cared more for ribbons and lace than wiggling their toes in the refreshing cool mud at the shore of the Black Lake or romping around in the tall grass by the Quidditch pitch, looking for potion ingredients. Lily's interest with boyish activities was appalling to them and had kept them from seeking Lily out for the first two years.

It was only after Lily began to blossom into a young woman that they felt the need to befriend her. They appreciated her newfound enjoyment of skirts instead of pants, high heels instead of sneakers, and braids instead of ball caps. A dislike of Severus's 'friends' meant Lily was all too willing to participate in gossip about the Slytherin's too. Suddenly she had things in common with the other girls that they could appreciate. Lily was just glad to have other people to talk to when she and Severus were fighting.

They never warmed to Severus though. For years, they pestered her about her one remaining friendship from childhood. They picked apart any argument she had in his favor, pecked at her insecurities over his growing interest in Dark magic, and pointed out ever flaw he had, exaggerating his faults to astronomical proportions. They would jumped on any opportunity to do so, often times right after Sev and she had a disagreement.

The other girls in her dorm followed suit; never the leading type themselves.

It was times like those that Lily was glad she had Mary. Aside from Severus, one of Lily's only real friendships in Hogwarts during first and second year was Mary. Lily had always been well liked and social, the center of attention with her friendly, outgoing personality, but Mary was one of the only people she considered a friend at school and not an acquaintance. Mary never questioned her choice to stick by Severus for so long. Sure, she had her reservations, but Mary tended to let people make their own decisions and pick their own paths and that was what Lily liked about the girl.

Mary was also more boyish like Lily too. Her male dominated family ensured Mary loved rough housing and getting grass stains on the knees of all her clothes. It meant she was more interested in games and adventure than perfume and make-up. It also meant she hadn't looked at Lily's friendship with Severus early on and found it 'gross' because of 'cooties'.

Lily sighed; maybe the other girls would give Severus a chance now that he had shown how much he cared about her. He had gone to hell and back in order to protect her and stayed by her side ever since, surely they couldn't find fault in his presence now that he had shown Slytherins weren't just a walking stereotype of Dark wizards and witches.

Lily looked longingly over to the Hufflepuff table again; they sure were having a more enjoyable time than her.

"Lily, are you even listening to me?" An upset Jessica asked.

"Huh?" Lily snapped out of her thoughts, looking back at Jessica, "What?"

"You weren't listening," Jessica said, offended, "I was telling you about a very important night for me."

"Oh, right," Lily said absentmindedly, "You're date with…what was his name again?"

Jessica huffed, annoyed, "Just forget it," she groaned.

"What has you so distracted today anyway?" Meldonna asked. She looked over her shoulder to where Lily's gaze had been constantly drifting, "The Hufflepuff table?"

"I don't understand why Mary wants to hang out over there," Jessica said despairingly, "The Hufflepuffs can't be that interesting. Otherwise the sorting hat would have placed them in our House."

"That's not true," Lily interjected, "Hufflepuffs have a knack for being keenly observant. They pick up on fine details others would miss. That's why they're said to be such good finders. And they're excellent puzzle solvers too because of this; Ravenclaws may have the riddles down, but Puffs are champs at puzzle."

"Sounds like you've been spending too much time around Professor Sprout," Jessica said, bemused, "Anyway, puzzle solving or not, they still aren't as cool as Gryffindor. So I can't see what Mary could gain from sitting over there."

"It's not just Puffs there today," Meldonna observed, "Serapeum's there acting like the Queen of England."

"She's not that bad once you get to know her," Lily defended, "In fact, she's very passionate about equal rights for muggleborns and magical creatures."

Meldonna shook her head, "Lily, she's a Slytherin; they're always working an angle. I bet all her equality talk is just a ruse to win over the dumb and easily manipulated. With all the nasty things her classmates do that pushes people away, she probably realized she can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar."

Jessica nodded rapidly, "Yeah, and I bet she only says she supports magical creatures because she wants to build an army of them, all loyal to her and her ilk."

"That's ridiculous," Lily scoffed.

"And there's the other one," Meldonna continued, watching Thea make her way over to Simone, "I swear she's the worst of them all. That freaky power of hers to sniff out people's secrets…talk about creepy."

"She's actually really sweet," Lily insisted.

"It's an act, Lily," Jessica declared, "Slytherins only pretend to be nice to get what they want out of you."

"Well Severus isn't acting when he's nice to me," Lily blurted out, her forehead creased in displeasure.

Jessica scoffed, "Snape? What are you on about him for?" she glanced over at the Hufflepuff table, spying a dark haired boy with his back to them, "Is that who you've been looking at all this time? Lily, I thought you finally wised up and wiped your hands clean of him for good!"

"He's different!" Lily stated, becoming increasingly frustrated with her so called friends pitying looks, "He saved my life last year, if you recall."

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Yeah, he conveniently showed up in time to save the day. What a complete coincidence."

Lily felt as if someone had lit a magma hot fire in her belly, her face heating up, "I know exactly what you're implying and it wasn't like that."

"But how do you know?" Meldonna questioned confidently, "Slytherins always work an angle, Lily. How do you know he didn't plan the whole thing?"

"Because that is the last sort of fate he would inflict upon anyone," Lily stated hotly, thinking about Severus's mother, about the brief snippets of information Sev had given her over their many talks this summer. Severus of all people would never put a woman through what Lily had gone through; not what Tobias had put his mother through.

"But how do you  _know_?" Meldonna pushed.

"I can't tell you how I know, but believe me, I know," Lily said firmly, "Who put this idea in your heads anyway? Potter?" Lily cast a rueful glare down their table at where James was seated, trying his best to appear nonchalant.

Meldonna held up her hands, "No one, Lily. Everyone's talking about this; we're not the only ones who are suspicious."

"Lily, we're only saying this because we care," Jessica said pityingly.

Lily had had enough, "Care about what? About me or about appearances? I know how you two view the other houses as beneath us, don't try and deny it. You're just worked up that I dared befriend someone below your standards. Well let me tell you, he's worth more than any of the guys you rant on about; with all their muscle and money and no brains or personality."

Lily stood up, "I had expected this sort of reaction from people at school, but I never expected it from you. You're both supposed to be my friends and trust me, but you're completely ignoring my feelings, my experiences, and the fact that of the three of us, I'm the only one who actually knows Severus. So don't get all condescending on me because you suddenly think you know my friends better than I do." With that, Lily gathered up her things and stormed out.

At the Hufflepuff table, Severus watched Lily go with concern. Turning to Mary, the pair nodded before excuses themselves from their friends and following after the redhead.

Thea watched them all leave before turning to Simone, looking pleadingly and worryingly at her friend.

Simone sighed, "Better go see what that's all about," pocketing an apple, she grabbed Nesme and practically dragged the girl from the hall, Thea close behind.

"Well, I better head to the library," Remus said at his end of the table.

"You're joking?" Sirius said skeptically.

Remus shrugged, "You're welcome to come join me," he offered sincerely, knowing Sirius would never agree.

As predicted, Sirius blanched at the idea of studying, "No way. You're on your own mate."

Remus grinned, grabbing his bag and leaving the hall. Once out of sight of his friends, he took off in the direction Lily and her friends had gone.

Up at the table, the professors watched the bizarre scene with curiosity.

"Quite a lot has changed in such a few short months," McGonagall said.

Pomona nodded, "Yes, to think so many people who used to be enemies or indifferent would suddenly form such a tight knit group. It's nice to see such comradery between the Houses."

Back at the Gryffindor table, Jessica and Meldonna sat in shock.

"Well that was a little rude," Meldonna said superciliously.

"Yeah," Jessica agreed, "We're only looking out for her best interests. Why'd she get so mad?"

"Maybe because the two of you are bitches," suggested a grinning seventh year girl with an athletic build.

"Shut up, Mckinnon!" Jessica growled.

The seventh year only laughed.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we finished yet another chapter. Like I said, not much goes on in this one.
> 
> I sort of dicked around with Transfiguration laws, since I am not sure how to write classes when the subjects are fictional and mostly limited in the info we are given, but I think I did alright.
> 
> We're seeing a little more of Lily's other friends. If anyone is wondering why I have such bland characters in this story, frankly it's canon's fault. We hear almost NOTHING about Lily in canon other than that she was nice. James has friends who knew him who can relay to Harry what his father was like (although they fudged the truth obviously), but no friend of Lily's ever comes out of the woodwork to talk about Lily. We have professors that know her and James friends knew her, but none of her own personal friends.
> 
> Either everyone of them is dead, which while not out of the realm of possibilities is unlikely, or maybe Lily did not have many close female friends. From how Remus talks, it sounds like she just turned him and Sirius into her closest friends after she started dating James. I can't help but wonder what reason a kind person like Lily would have for not making many female friends, and my theory would be that someone like Lily might not have truly clicked with all her dormmates because they have personalities that didn't mesh well with hers. Pureblooded girls raised with stuffy ideals in appearance and grace would probably have little appeal unless they were a free spirit like herself.
> 
> Read and review like always :)


	28. Ruminations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes slip into scholarly routine and someone is given food for thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again. I cannot be stopped.
> 
> *knocks on wood to ensure I don't jinx myself and incur a power outage or computer crash*
> 
> Thanks again to my lovely reviewers. I love when you share your thoughts with me. They give me things to consider and ideas of where to go from here. So never stop asking questions! Never stop theorizing! You guys are my life blood!
> 
> I enjoy hearing all of you express interest in particular scenes and frustration at characters (not to say I love antagonizing you, but come on, poking the bear is fun!)

* * *

 

The first few weeks of school passed in relative uneventfulness. Students slowly got back into the swing of working and studying instead of relaxing and procrastinating as many of them had all summer. As the weather took its time in becoming true autumn weather, many students took to studying outside, enjoying the remaining warm days while they could.

It was because of this reason that one group of students had the library relatively to themselves.

"That's wrong," Simone said blandly, tapping a finger onto Davis's Runes homework.

Davis frowned, looking over his paper, "It can't be," he denied, "I checked the book six times for the answer."

"Check it again," Simone said simply, thumbing through a book on the finer uses of Asphodel.

Davis flipped back to his marked page in the textbook. Cursing under his breath, he vanished the mistake from his family and began penning in the correct answer, muttering all the while.

Thea shook her head, smiling at her friends fondly as she researched the components for truth serum.

Simone smirked over the rim of her teacup, taking a quiet sip.

"Aren't food and beverages strictly forbidden in the library?" Severus questioned, one eyebrow raised inquiringly.

Simone shrugged, "What Pince doesn't know won't hurt her," was the simple reply. Simone placed the teacup down on its saucer and wand her wand over it.

"Spill-proof," she said, picking up her cup and turning it upside down. All the tea stayed inside the cup.

"Don't be such a worrywart, Sev," Lily chided, "Hardly anyone ever follows Pince's rules completely."

"Hard to believe I would hear that from a prefect," Severus drawled.

"Even I can recognize when a rule is pointless," Lily replied. She reached into her bag and pulled out a piece of chocolate, nibbling on it while keeping an eye out for the librarian.

Nesme wasn't even trying to hide her bag of crisps, "I am SO glad I smuggled some of these from home. Knowledge makes me hungry."

"Knowledge makes Severus pessimistic," Simone observed, "Look, each year in this library his frown lines grow more and more pronounced. Oh what horrors knowledge has brought him."

Severus slapped Simone's hand away, "Very funny," he said sarcastically.

"I thought it was," Simone said pleasantly.

"Me too," Davis added with a cheeky grin.

Severus turned to Lily, "If I see even the hint of a smile on your face, you can forget borrowing my notes."

Lily schooled her face into a solemn expression, "I wouldn't dream of smiling." She turned to Simone and Davis.

"That wasn't funny, guys," Lily said seriously, the corner of her mouth twitching.

"You're remarkably convincing," Simone said teasingly.

Lily snorted and began to giggle.

"Kiss your homework help goodbye," Severus said tartly.

"Oh come on, Sev," Lily said beseechingly when Severus tried to stand up, "Where's your sense of humor?"

"I must have left it in my other set of robes," Severus said mockingly.

"Along with the rest of his personality," Simone muttered, prompting the others to giggle.

Severus pointed a finger at Simone, "You, I'm ignoring."

"Tried it; it doesn't make her go away," Davis quipped.

At the affronted look on Simone's face, Thea laughed, causing Simone to look even more aghast.

"Theadosia!" she gasped, scandalized, "Et, tu, Brutus?"

"Alright, now I feel marginally better," Severus conceded in satisfaction.

"Hey, every party has a pooper and that's why I invited you," Simone snapped without any real heat behind it. She turned to Thea, "And you, young lady. I am surprised at you. Giggling at the expense of your best friend; you fiend!"

Simone's attempts to be serious just made Thea laughed harder, her nose wrinkling up cutely, "S-sorry, Sim," she offered weakly in between giggles.

Lily bit back a smile, "So, now that no one is taking off in a huff, I really need those DADA notes, Sev. I promised Mary I'd revise her essay and I want to make sure I'm going by the correct material."

"Don't trust your own notes?" Severus asked knowingly.

Lily gave Severus an unamused stare, "No one is as thorough in that class as you, Sev."

"Fair enough," Severus said, handing over his notes.

"Where is Mary anyway?" Nesme questioned.

"Hanging out with the other girls from our dorm," Lily explained, "They've been sort of clingy to us lately; wanting to spend more time with us than usual. They tried to talk me out of studying today. They were adamant about it until Mary told them she would spend time with them. They were skimming through a make-up catalogue when I left."

"They must be pretty vapid and girly," Davis stated bluntly without a care for how rude that sounded, "To prefer make-up over an education."

' _More like that want to keep me away from Severus,_ ' Lily thought sourly.

"Hey the first Hogsmede weekend is coming up pretty soon," Nesme said, thankfully changing the subject, "Are you all excited?"

"Simone has probably bought everything there is to buy there, but we'll go," Thea said with a smile.

Simone pouted at her friend, "Not  _everything_ …just…most of it."

"I've got someone to meet there, so I have to go," Severus stated.

"Oh? Who's that?" Nesme asked curiously.

"A doctor, for my neck," Severus lied easily, having known this question would come, "They want to monitor my progress as time goes on; because it was caused by a spell I invented, the side effects are still unknown."

Nesme nodded, "Makes sense."

"Meet us for a cuppa after your appointment," Davis offered, "We can all check out some shops together."

Severus breathed a sigh of relief inwardly, glad his friends bought his story. Only Lily and the professors really needed to know he was meeting his therapist.

He looked over at Lily, diligently going through the notes he lent her.

Lily had yet to really open up about how Avery's assault affected her. She had mentioned her wariness around men and her frequent nightmares, but she rarely ever went into any detail about either subject, just brushing it off as something she would have to work through. More than once Severus had broached the subject of her possibly seeing a professional, but his suggestion was continuously rebuked and dismissed. Lily was steadfast in assuring her longtime friend that she was handling herself just fine.

"It's not like he got very far," she would often say.

Severus glanced down at Lily's arm, covered by the sleeve of her robe. Lately he was noticing more and more redness appearing on her freckled flesh, a scratch here or there, a scab that should have healed by now just getting steadily bigger. When he questioned Lily about it, she had laughed it off and insisted it was an allergy, probably lingering from the summer. She even went to the hospital wing to acquire some cream just to prove it.

Severus looked at Lily again, suspicious. She had said it was just a skin irritation; surely, that wasn't a big concern. But…he kept thinking back to what Dr. Marcus had said about anxiety and stress.

He glanced down at his bitten fingernails and healing skin around them.

Lily was quite adamant that her nightmares were lessening and that she was coping well around her male classmates. Still, Severus couldn't help but worry how much of this was true and how much of it was just her putting on a brave face.

A loud crash near one of the library windows dragged Severus from his thoughts, making him and all his friends turn in their seats to see what the commotion was.

Madam Pince appeared around the corner and gave the general area an icy glare.

"Shhhhhhh!" she hissed, before disappearing back around the bookshelves. She didn't even bother to see what caused the noise, content on blaming everyone simply for existing in the same vicinity as her precious books.

"Oh dear," fretted a particularly small house elf. He was on his hands and knees, picking up some books that had fallen off a shelf, "Not good, not good at all."

Simone stood up and approached the creature.

"Are you alright?" she asked with concern.

"Yes, yes, all fine," the house elf claimed unconvincingly, "Just clumsy, Bixby very clumsy. Not good; not supposed to be seen by students, bustling about disturbs their studies."

"Hey now," Simone crouched down in front of Bixby, "You don't need to worry about being seen. House elves are a normal part of most wizards' lives. And it wouldn't hurt for students to see what hard work really looks like after all the complaining they do about simple essays and reading."

"Bixby should not call attention to himself," Bixby went on, "Was stacking a shelf for Madam Pince…only disillusioned myself for a second, I did. Now Bixby make a mess of everything, making students worry."

Simone looked up at the shelf in question. It wasn't particularly high up.

"How did you fall, Bixby?" Simone asked gently.

Bixby didn't answer, wringing his hands together.

"Bixby," Simone tried again, "Did someone hex you off the shelf?"

"Bixby didn't see anything," Bixby said evasively, "Too busy stacking books."

"Must have been some older pureblood," Simone muttered to herself. She looked down at Bixby's leg, noticing a nasty red blotch forming, "You got hit with a stinging hex, you poor thing." She reached for Bixby's leg.

"Bixby's fine!" the house elf insisted, attempting to stand up, "Must get back to work." He stood up and winced.

"I only want to help Bixby," Simone sighed. A clever though coming to her, the Slytherin tried another tactic, "Bixby, your job is to make the students happy, isn't it?"

Bixby nodded, "It is, Missus, though Bixby not doing a great job right now." His ears drooped sadly.

Simone's eyes softened in pity and sympathy, "Well it would make me very happy if you let me see to it that you're alright."

Bixby looked up at Simone questioningly, "It would?"

Simone nodded.

Bixby reluctantly let Simone look him over, surprise overtaking his face as the pureblood girl picked him up in her arms.

"You poor thing," Simone cooed, as her friends began to wander over, "Being picked on when you're minding your own business. You're so young too! Is this your first year working at Hogwarts?"

Bixby nodded, "Bixby was born in the castle like his brothers and sisters; only deemed old enough to work this past summer."

"Well aren't you a hard working boy," Simone praised, adjusting Bixby to her hip. She seemed oblivious to the shocked looks she was getting from some students and the disgusted ones from others. A pureblooded Slytherin babying a house elf was like seeing a Manticore dance the jig.

Thea came closer, lightly taking Bixby's leg in her hands, "This could probably be taken care of with a cream. The hospital wing should have some."

"Bixby must finish his work!" Bixby cried, scandalized, "He cannot just wander off when there is work to do."

"Then we'll think of something else that can be done here," Simone offered, "Any ideas?"

"I have a salve in my bag," Lily said, rummaging through her things, "I mostly use it for paper cuts, but it should soothe the skin just fine."

As the others fussed over Simone's precious cargo, Severus hung back, not seeing himself being of much use in the matter. Plus, he wasn't exactly the friendliest face, so the fragile little creature might not find him a welcome sight, being so shook up as it was.

Severus glanced around the library, taking in those around them. Most of the students had returned to their work, but some still watched the scene with the house elf curiously or with disapproval as was the case of some seventh year Slytherins.

One of them looked Severus's way and sneered at him, their lip curling up. Severus returned the sneer with one of his own. Things had been particularly tense in his House since he returned to school.

' _Well look who it is,' Evan Rosier said their first night back in the Slytherin dorms, 'Severus…I assumed you would have been resorted to Gryffindor by now.'_

_A few students snickered, the goons flanking Rosier smirking._

_They were gathered in the common area, people scattered here and there. Many older students were lounging on the couches and chairs while the first years grouped together nervously, still unsure where they needed to be. Some stood to the outskirts of the room, watching the confrontation between Snape and Rosier tensely._

' _Then apparently you don't understand how sorting works, Rosier,' Severus drawled in tired boredom, 'not that I expect you to know much other than how to act the pompous ass.'_

_Rosier narrowed his eyes but otherwise kept his composure._

' _I'm just shocked,' Rosier said casually, 'that the headmaster didn't see fit to resort you after your little…display last year on the train.'_

' _And what display would that be?' Severus asked sardonically, 'Doing the right thing? Putting two attempted rapists in their place?'_

_A few students flinched at his harsh wording._

' _bandying words like that around is a sure way to make some enemies, Snape,' Rosier warned, 'I'm sure their families wouldn't appreciate you besmirching their family names like that.'_

' _Then they should have raised men instead of monsters,' Severus shot back._

_Someone gasped, several other students whispered to each other, watching the verbal spar volley back and forth like a muggle tennis match._

_From his spot by the fireplace, Regulus took in the spat with a blank expression, his expression unreadable._

_Rosier frowned, 'It's a real shame, Severus. You had such potential. We could have given you everything in your wildest dreams: wealth, power, a name for yourself. And instead you took our generosity and threw it away…all for a mudblood.'_

_Severus glared, 'Don't call her that,' he warned dangerously._

_Rosier shrugged hands in the air, 'I'm only telling it like it is. You traded down; not up. What could she possibly offer you…besides the obvious, I suppose. You gave up a grand future just to get in some mudblood's pants.'_

_Rosier smirked at Severus, 'What a waste too; I doubt Avery is the only one who's ever had a go at her…'_

_Severus's wand was out before anyone could even blink, pointed squarely between Rosier's eyes, 'Not another word out of you,' he hissed menacingly._

_Several of Rosier's buddies drew their wands, pointing them hesitantly at Severus._

_Rosier eyed the wand warily, drawing his own, 'Careful now Snape; we wouldn't want a repeat of what happened to you on the train, would we?'_

' _Go ahead and try,' Severus challenged, 'If you honestly think I can't handle a spell of my own invention when I expect it coming, you're severely mistaken.'_

_Rosier didn't move, glaring down the end of Severus's wand._

' _Or are you all talk?' Severus questioned knowingly, 'The truth is you don't know my spell, do you? Avery never taught you.'_

_Rosier said nothing._

' _That's it, isn't it?' Severus continued, 'He didn't teach you the spell because then he wouldn't be as powerful. Typical Slytherin; not about to put himself at a disadvantage, not about to teach his secrets to allies with the potential to become enemies.'_

_Seeing Rosier's glare deepen, Severus continued, 'It's perfect for His cause isn't it? Not one of you trusting the other, all ready to betray one another in order to be the first to kiss the hem of His robe. Sounds like a true wizarding paradise He's building for you all…'_

_Severus's eyes landed on Regulus, the dark haired boy still perched by the hearth. Regulus eyes met his own for a moment, a flicker of something inscrutable in his gaze, before turning away and heading to his room_

' _You're making a grave mistake, Snape,' Rosier stated, drawing the attention back to himself, 'Don't think there won't be repercussions from turning your back on the cause.'_

' _The hell with your cause,' Severus growled, 'What could you ever given me that wouldn't have come with a price? You're the one who's mistaken, Rosier; good luck throwing your life away for a madman.'_

_Clapping came from behind him._

_Simone walked down the stairs from the girl's dorm, Thea close behind._

' _Well, well,' Simone said, drawing her wand, 'This has been quite the rousing performance but some of us have class in the morning.'_

_She aimed her wand at Rosier's group._

' _Evan,' she said with a mocking level of politeness, 'If you would be so kind as to shove off.'_

_Rosier stared down the two wands pointing at him, weighing his options. His eyes trailed over Simone, landing on Thea, prompting him to lower his wand, lest any of his unsavory secrets be uncovered by her nasty ability._

' _This isn't over, Snape,' Rosier warned as he headed up to his dorm._

_Severus watched the seventh year leave before turning his attention to the rest of the lingering crowd. Most of those watching quickly went back to their own business, as Slytherins always keep their heads down and avoid looking to make enemies._

Severus glanced over the library's occupants again. Aside from the Slytherin seventh years, there were some giggling Hufflepuffs clustered together by the door, some Ravenclaws picking meticulously through heavy tomes of Alchemy. By a group of meandering Gryffindor third years, a sliver of green and silver caught Severus's attention.

"Getting some light reading in, Reg," Severus said coolly, approaching the boy.

Regulus flinched, nearly dropping the book he was peaking around.

"Just catching up on some core reading material," was Regulus's hasty explanation.

"I see," Severus hummed. He tipped the cover of the book towards him, "Dances with Moonbears; pray tell, what class assigned you that?"

Regulus flushed, putting away the book he had randomly grabbed.

"What do you want, Snape?" Regulus asked, dropping the pretense.

Severus shrugged, "I only wanted to say hello to an old friend. We used to be friends, didn't we?"

Regulus looked down his nose at Severus, sniffing disdainful, "What use would an heir to the noble house of Black have for a halfblood? Besides," Regulus said, turning away to collect his things, "You're ideals and mine have…diverged as of late."

"Ah yes," Severus said, nodding sagely, "I've heard a great deal about ideals lately. Frankly I'm surprised the noble house of Black would let someone else charter their future for them or tell them what to think…"

"My thoughts are my own," Regulus growled, turning to face Severus with a glare, "What I believe in was my own choice, no one else's. If you choose to surround yourself with lesser beings, then do not expect me to be so welcoming to you." Regulus turned to leave.

"Do you truly believe that?" Severus asked curiously, making Regulus pause.

Regulus turned back around, eyeing Severus, "Excuse me?"

Severus shrugged again, "I'm just saying, I was given plenty of reason to dislike muggles or anything strictly not Slytherin," he casually walked a circle around Reg, hands in his pockets, "Tortured and tormented daily by Gryffindors, beaten by a muggle father—you surely heard about that from your dear soon-to-be cousin in law, Malfoy. Of course I disliked muggles, but what about you?"

"What about me?" Regulus asked warily.

"You never met a muggle in your life, have you?" Severus asked, "And yet you hate them and muggleborns. Are you honestly going to tell me you weren't influenced at all by your parents? Growing up under their rules, their teachings, hearing them day in and out look down upon those they deemed unworthy of breathing the same air as them. You mean to tell me that you just…naturally came upon this hatred of muggles all on your own?"

"I'm not sure I see where you're going with this," Regulus said as confidently as he could manage.

"You're not a fool, Regulus," Severus said bluntly, "And you're not a thug. I see kindness in you, Reg, the sort of which I realized has no place in the new world He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hopes to achieve. You know what happened on the train; are you as ruthless and barbaric as Avery and Mucliber?"

"Of course not!" Regulus cried, outraged by the very suggestion.

"Do you crave seeing people driven to their knees before you, writhing in pain?" Severus asked, "Think you have the stomach for that?"

"I…I…" Regulus stammered, "What do you want me to say?!"

"That you aren't blind, Reg!' Severus hissed, "Don't tell me you honestly haven't realized by now what sort of army He's building if Avery and Rosier and all their ilk are the sort of folk He's recruiting?"

Regulus said nothing, refusing to meet Severus's eyes.

Severus sighed, just about ready to give up. Stupid stubborn Slytherins.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Severus asked, changing the subject, "You typically don't study here."

"I wanted a change of scenery," Regulus answered flippantly.

"How is it that everyone else believes you and yet I can always see when you're lying?" Severus asked tiredly, "Seriously, why are you skulking around the library?"

Regulus didn't answer, his lips pressed into a thin line. For a fraction of a second, his eyes flickered over, briefly landing on one person in particular.

Severus followed his gaze.

"Serapeum?" Severus questioned, "You fancy her?"

Regulus scoffed, "As if! She's insufferable."

Severus searched Regulus's face for any hint of a lie. Regulus was sincere. There was no affection in his eyes when they gazed at Simone. Rather, it was something else…

"You admire her," Severus stated, "Well now that is curious. I would have thought such a strong proponent of magical equality would be the last person you'd look up to."

"You wouldn't understand," Regulus said peevishly.

Severus raised a brow, "Wouldn't I?"

He continued to scrutinize Regulus, following his gaze to and from Simone as she cooed over the injured house elf. Taking in the ridiculous fawning, Severus turned to Regulus to find a subtle softness to his gaze.

Understanding lit up Severus's face, "It's how she treats house elves!"

Regulus grabbed a hold of Severus's shoulder, "Keep your voice down."

"That's it, isn't it," Severus pushed, "You admire her treatment of the elves." Severus narrowed his eyes, deep in thought.

"Most pureblood children are practically raised by the Help," Severus mused aloud, "I suppose it would be only human to develop a certain fondness for them. You're cretin brother is often heard bitching about your family elf. I take it you do not share the sentiment?"

Regulus snorted, "Siri may pretend he's broken away from the family, but he acts just like Mother. She tramples all over the help too. Neither one of them has ever heard of saying thank you."

"I suspect gratitude would not be Black's strong point," Severus agreed, "So you don't feel that way about your house elves." It was more of a statement than a question.

Regulus shook his head, "Kreacher has been there for me when even my own parents weren't. They're all about appearances, galas, and dinner parties; that all comes first. But Kreacher…he's never been too busy. He makes time for me, and he makes sure I know I'm important to him. He's…genuinely happy to be in my presence."

"So it upsets you to see how house elves typically get treated," Severus surmised, "And that's why you look up to Serapeum."

Regulus nodded, "She treats them like people; not things."

"While your family treats them like things instead of people," Severus tacked on, "Along with every other pureblood family you know."

Again, Regulus nodded sadly.

"Well this has been an enlightening talk," Severus said, "Before I go, let me leave you with some food for thought."

Severus leaned in close to Regulus, his eyes hard.

"If You-Know-Who wants to put muggleborns and muggles beneath our feet, imagine what sort of life he has in store for those beneath even them…"

Severus turned away and left Regulus to his thoughts, figuring the boy with need some time to digest this.

"Hey Severus," Mary greeted merrily, walking into the library just as Severus reconvened with his friends, "Finished studying?"

"Not quite," Severus answered, gesturing to Simone still fussing over Bixby, "We had a momentary distraction. I take it you managed to shake your friends up in Gryffindor tower?"

"For the time being," Mary replied, casually flicking a strand of hair over her shoulder.

Severus took a moment to observe Mary. Her hair was pulled into a half up-do with the rest falling down her back in the usual curls. A light layer of blush decorated her cheeks and her eyes were lightly rimmed in a faint brown eyeliner, a neutral dark tan dusting her eyelids for one of those 'natural' looks. The was a subtle pink glossiness to her lips and one of her moles—or beauty marks as women tended to call them—had been darkened by her right eye to stand out more.

"You look…different," Severus stated after a moment, "Good different," he clarified.

Mary's smiled broadened, pushing some loose strands of hair away from her face, "You think so? Jess and Mel wanted to try out some tips from Witches Weekly and I was their test subject. I think I might keep this look."

"I doubt you'll find many protesters to that," Severus said, "it suits you rather well."

Mary was positively beaming, "Great." She fell into step with Severus, moving back towards their study table, "So what did I miss?"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Lawd! This is a chapter without any scene changes. Holy shit that's uncommon for me. I typically jump around more than a rabbit hopped up on cocaine and red bull.
> 
> So we're seeing some of the changes that have come about from Severus choosing sides. He's on the outs with old allies and looking for others willing to reconsider the path of a death eater.
> 
> We're also seeing more of Simone's stance on house elves.
> 
> I always found Herminone's wish to free the house elves admirable but poorly thought out. She wanted to free them but was ignorant to the fact that forcing or convincing others to free their elves would not have meant elves would have a better life. No longer living for free in the house of a master, they would have needed to seek actual paid employment and it didn't sound like Herminone was working on any way of ensuring house eves could apply for jobs without discrimination in the workplace. Remember Dobby had a hard time earning a living after he was freed because people thought it preposterous that he request pay? Well laws would need to be put in place to make house elves free to apply for legitimate work without the fear of being turned away from jobs for their race, just as we put laws in place to ensure an employer cannot discriminate based on race in real life.
> 
> Without these precautions, all Herminone would have accomplished was freeing elves to live in poverty until they starved. It's sort of like how when people fought to end slavery they should have also had the foresight to set up plans so that newly freed slaves wouldn't be struggling for work in their states with racist employers refusing to hire them. I personally feel like we went "Well your free, good luck!" and left them to figure out how to fend for themselves.
> 
> Simone realizes that you can't just up and free all elves cold turkey. For one, many elves seemed brainwashed or enchanted to WANT to be enslaved. So Simone wants to start small; put up laws against elf mistreatment, establish rights for elves and above all, help break the mindset elves have that they should serve regardless of cruelty inflicted on them. Simone managed to convince Bixby to be cared for by allowing him to see it as a way of helping her feel better; stating she was worried and that letting her assist him would be a way for him to in turn assist her.
> 
> Read and review as always my friends.


	29. The Button

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Hogsmeade goes awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for returning for yet another exciting chapter! 
> 
> Once again, thank you for all the lovely reviews and advice. The fact that many of you love my story enough to voice concerns over potential mistakes or flaws means a lot to me, because it show my story has touched you enough that you wish to see it thrive. 
> 
> Fair warning for this chapter, we will be touching upon sexual harassment. Anyone uncomfortable with this chapter is welcome to turn back now, I do not hold it against you.

* * *

 

September passed in relative quiet at Hogwarts. The autumn chill began to descend on the school gradually, causing students to trade short sleeves under their robes for longer ones. Though Europe wasn't known for having as vivid as changing foliage as the Americas, Scotland did harbor a stunning range of yellows and russets infused with a few ochres and red. Outside the castle, the leaves were just beginning to show this.

It was with this change of weather that the first trip to Hogsmeade arrived.

"Not this one," Lily muttered, tossing aside a maroon blouse. Lily was never a very vain girl, but it wasn't so unreasonable that she wished to have something both comfortable and presentable for her and her friends' outing.

"Not this one either...Ugh!" she held up a fuchsia sweater, "When would I have ever got this?!"

Mary wrinkled her nose, "Did your great aunt give you that?"

Lily grimaced, "The one with the mole and the hair in it? Sounds like something she would pick," she set the shirt down in disgust.

"Just wear that blouse you picked out earlier," Mary insisted, "The one with the flowers along the bottom hem."

"I would, but it's missing a button," Lily explained, picking up the blouse and showing Mary. One of the carved, flower-shaped buttons wasn't there, "I'll have to look for it at some point," she set the blouse down, running a hand through her hair, "Ugh! And you know it's going to bug me until I find it too."

"Don't tell me you're going to stay here and look for it," Mary laughed.

Lily snorted, "As if. I want to have fun today."

It didn't take them long to join the other students waiting to go to the village and the girls were quick to locate Severus with Simone and Thea, side stepping out of Potter's view; Lily knew he had been looking for her all week to ask for a date.

"And so they make their appearance," Simone drawled, "Finally."

Mary mock glared at her, "Blame Lily, she's the one who couldn't pick an outfit."

Simone raised a brow, "Getting all gussied up, Evans. I assure you that you don't need to resort to such tactics to gain my attentions."

"Har-Har," Lily harumphed, "I just wanted to look nice; it wasn't for you."

"Then for whom?" Simone asked quietly, eyeing Severus and making the boy uncomfortable.

Thea grabbed her's friend's ear and tugged, causing Simon to yelp.

"Be nice," Thea scolded, "Anyway, you spent an hour on your hair today, so you've no room to talk."

"Yes, but I DO have someone I want to look nice for," Simone said slyly.

"Oh hush," Thea said, turning to the others.

"Oh come one, isn't anyone curious?" Simone prodded, "Even a little bit?"

"Nesme and Davis will be here soon," Severus explained, ignoring Simone, "They needed to turn in a last minute group project first."

Simone's eyes raked over her friends, realizing their attentions were elsewhere.

She pouted, "Plebeians," she hissed.

Mary stuck her tongue out at Simone as the others watched Nesme and Davis jog over to them.

"Let's go!" Nesme said excitedly, "I can't wait to check out Scrivenshaft's. I want the real shimmery ink!"

"You don't even take decent notes," Davis scoffed, "You just put a few key words down without explanation and draw smudgy little doodles all over the parchment."

"Yeah, but they're pretty," Nesme said stubbornly.

"And here we have the status quo of Hogwarts House personalities," Simone said, sauntering between her two friends. Reaching over their shoulder's she pointing at their crests.

"The Whimsy," she said, pointing at the Hufflepuff badge.

"The Practical," she pointed at the Ravenclaw badge.

Simone brought her hand over her own hand, "The Sarcastic."

"And Gryffindor?" Lily asked.

Simone pointed at her, "The Butt—of my joke," she finished proudly.

"I know where you sleep," Lily deadpanned.

"And yet, you'll never be able to reach me there," Simone pointed out cheekily, patting Lily's cheek.

Lily glowered at the dark skinned girl as Simone sashayed away.

"Let's just get going before Potter spots us," Mary suggested with a roll of her eyes, linking arms with Lily and Severus.

"I see you're still going with your new look," Severus observed as they walked along with the crowd.

Mary lightly fingered one of the ringlets in her hair, "You noticed? It's really growing on me."

"It suits you," Severus offered genuinely, "I'm sure you'll turn a few heads."

Mary lit up like a Jack-O-Lantern, her smile just as wide as one, "Thanks, though I can't say that was my intention."

Lily elbowed Mary in the ribs playfully, "Oh come on, you had to beat guys off with a stick before; if you're getting dressed up now, then there must be someone you  _really_  want to impress."

Mary flushed, "Well maybe there is...but—"

"Hey, are you guys going to want to go to Scrivenshaft with us?" Simone asked suddenly, craning her neck around to look back at them, "Nesme thinks we should check out some shops together before we split off to do our own things."

"I'm in," Mary said enthusiastically, seemingly relieved for the change in subject, "What sort of ink did you say you were looking for again, Nesme?" Mary detached herself from Severus and Lily and went up to join the bubbly Hufflepuff.

"Wonder what that was about?" Lily pondered.

"Teenage things," Severus huffed, "Personally glad I never fell into such hormonal fueled trivial things."

"Oh, now I call bull!" Lily said with a smirk, "Severus Snape, are you trying to tell me you've never had a crush on anyone?"

Severus looked away, "I'm above making a fool of myself for puberty's sake, thank you very much."

"Come on, not even a little crush?" Lily pushed teasingly, "Puppy love? Anything? I find that hard to believe."

Severus shifted uncomfortably, "And why is it of any concern of yours, exactly?"

"Because you're just as human as the rest of us, Mr. Cool and Collected," Lily said pointedly, poking Severus sharply in the side.

Severus hissed, squirming away from her fingers, "Stop that!"

"Just tell me," Lily weedled, "I'm not going to give up until you do."

"Fine," Severus snapped, desperate to get Lily off his back, "There's someone..."

Lily's eyes lit up, "Oooh, I knew it! Who is it?"

"I'm not telling you her name," Severus said stubbornly, "But I will tell you this: it was when I was little. I saw her on the playground from a distance," he trailed off, a wistful and pleasant smile on his face, "It was love at first sight."

"That's so sweet," Lily cooed, "Did you ever tell her how you felt?"

Severus shook his head, "Never."

"Well, does she still live in our neighborhood?" Lily asked insistently.

Severus smirked, strolling along with his hands tucked behind his back, "Oh yes."

Lily jumped on that bit of information, "She is? You've seen her?"

Severus smirk widened, "I have."  _'Every day in fact.'_

"Have I?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded, "I should say so."  _'In a mirror, perhaps.'_

Lily stopped walking, concentrating hard, "But Sev, that could be  _anybody!"_

Severus hummed, "I realize that."

"Well then why won't you tell me who it is?"

"Oh, Simone," Severus called out, striding forward and leaving Lily behind, "I think I will join you all in Scrivenshafts. I need to get a refill of my ink and I'm afraid the school stores' is just too oily for me."

Lily stamped her foot, "Severus, you come back here and tell me!"

Severus waved over his shoulder at Lily, making the girl scrunch her face up in irritation.

Severus would never admit it, but Lily was adorable when she wrinkled her nose.

Huffing, Lily sprinted up after her friends, muttering loudly about one of them in particular to ensure he knew how much he vexed her.

 

{page break}

 

The group quickly got down to business once they arrived at Hogsmeade. True to Nesme's word, they visited Scrivenshaft, where the cheery Hufflepuff bought a lovely bottle of shimmery teal ink for her quill. Severus bought himself some standard, affordable black ink using some pocket money he had stored away over the summer. Being a part of the Evan's family included getting a small allowance for helping around the house, something Severus was surprised but glad to receive, as it was better than charity and rewarded hard work.

Simone checked out a set of Peacock feathered quill pens, not even batting an eye at the staggering price tag hanging off them. A set of jeweled quill holders also caught her attention, each decorated in Sapphires and Emeralds with a mother of pearl finish over the stands. She ended up buying one each for her and Thea, despite the girl's protests.

After Scrivenshafts the group descended on Honeydukes for some sweet confections only Wizards could produce. Nesme and Thea were quick to purchase some Ice Mice and Chocolate bars, while Mary found herself drawn to a type of taffy that changed flavor from one fruit to another as you chewed it. Severus, having only a small sweet tooth, got some dark chocolate for its more bitter—and therefore better—flavor, but consented to Lily's ongoing tradition of them each buying one or two Chocolate frogs in order to trade cards.

"I got Nicholas Flamel!" Lily revealed with a smile.

Severus unwrapped his, absentmindedly handing off the sugary enchanted frog to Lily for her to enjoy.

"I got Beatrix Bloxam," Severus said with a scowl. He held the card out by the very edge of one side like he was dangling a pair of dirty underpants, "Think I'll get in trouble for setting this on fire?"

"You'll do no such thing," Lily admonished, "Come on, she was just trying to make reading friendly for children. It's not her fault she couldn't write worth a lick."

"Only you would defend a writer who couldn't write," Simone said with a roll of her eyes, "Give it here, Severus, I'll set the old bint ablaze."

Lily sighed at their antics, shaking her head.

Thea emerged from the store with the others, successfully diverting everyone's attention from a potential card burning.

"Oh, you got one too, Thea," Lily exclaimed, seeing the chocolate frog wrapper in her hand, "What did you get?"

Thea held up her card for everyone to see, "Rowena Ravenclaw," she didn't sound sure how she should feel about it.

Simone snorted, "Well isn't that queer."

Lily looked between the two confused, "What is?"

"Thea's been getting that card for at least a week now," Simone explained, "Every time she opens one of those things."

"I could understand once, but every time?" Thea questioned, "It just makes no sense."

"Maybe they're just producing a lot of that particular card right now," Severus suggested, "Who knows, maybe this time next month, there'll be an influx of Uric the Oddball cards."

"Possibly," Simone agreed, placing a licorice whip in her mouth thoughtfully, "Still it's pretty strange. Pretty strange, indeed…"

Severus grimaced at Simone's candy choice, "That's foul."

"What is?" asked Davis, a handful of Licorice in his hand.

"How can you two eat those things?" Severus questioned, "They taste awful."

"Taste is just a matter of opinion," Simone said wisely, "Besides, who the hell eats dark chocolate?"

"I like my chocolate like I like my coffee," Severus stated, "Bitter."

"Like your soul," Simone said without an ounce of inflection. Her delivery was so on point the others laughed.

"At least I still have mine," Severus said with a sneer.

"Ah, but you see the price I paid for mine was so worth it," Simone sighed, throwing an arm around Snape's shoulders, "Now let's venture forth onto the next adventure."

The next adventure turned out to be more shops, as it were. Gladrags Wizardwear was a must for the girls, or at least four of them as Simone apparently enjoyed dressing up but not shopping for clothing. Instead, she stood off to the side and encouragingly marveled at the things Thea and Nesme tried on, oohing and awing at the appropriate moments to brighten their day and boost their confidence.

Lily spent her time with Mary examining some rather expensive looking cloaks of silk with fur trim. One of the lovely things about wizard fashion was that many a time, fur could be utilized without killing the animal it came from, shaved straight from the animal and then magicked together into a lovely kill-free pelt. Of course, some wizards still preferred to wear dead animals for fashion, but one couldn't argue that progress was gradually being made.

Next stop was the bookstore, which all but Nesme and Mary were happy to peruse through; the pair of girls not being as bookish as their friends. They chose to sit in a set of chairs up front looking through a magazine Mary had brought with her while their friends scoured the shelves for new reads.

After ringing up their purchases—which included a new potions book Simone bought for Severus with the insistence he hide away the old one and the spells he recorded in it—the group was ready to head their separate ways. Simone was taking Thea to the post office so they could mail a package to Petunia and then grab a bite to eat, while Nesme and Davis were going to eat at the Three Broomsticks before heading back to school.

As the three of them had eaten late, Mary, Lily, and Severus were in no hurry to have lunch. After Severus had a quick session with Marcus—visiting the Three Broomsticks for the appointment—the three students settled for simply wandering the streets taking in the scenery. The beginning hues of Orange and yellow painting the landscape surrounding the village gave it a quaint, festive glow in the sunlight. Storekeepers had started putting out their Halloween décor on every stoop and railing, street lamps and bench wrapped in orange streamers and black and white ribbons, electric green bows on everything giving it all a very 'witchy feel' as Lily's parents back home would say.

Sitting together on a bench, the trio rested their feet and people watched. At some point, Lily pulled out a book she bought earlier and her and Severus flipped through it eagerly, reading about alchemy, while Mary dug into some of her candy.

Mary looked up the cobblestone road, eyes landing on a group of children. She nudged Lily, "Look over there."

The Shrieking Shack loomed against the skyline in ominous contrast to the crisp, blue day. Decrypt and rotting with crooked beams and jagged planks, it intrigued many a curious young witch and wizard with its foreboding appearance and ongoing legend.

"I swear, the Halloween season always bring in a fresh group of fools," Mary mused, "Do they really think that place is haunted? It's all magic, enchantments to make sounds and unsettle you; all to bring in more tourists. There's nothing really there."

Lily and Severus eyed the place warily. Even with the truce between the two boys, Severus would probably always hold a healthy amount of wariness for the place he nearly died. The idea that Dumbledore thought such an aged and rickety house could possibly serve as the ideal place to hold a fully transformed werewolf was further testament to how dotty the man had become in old age. Surely not even spells could enforce that structure enough to keep a raging werewolf inside, could it?

Lily crossed her arms, glaring at the shack, "If they're not going to tear that eyesore down, then they should at least disillusion it. All it does it catch the attention of curious kids and make the foolhardiest of them want to see what's inside for themselves. Someone is going to get hurt sneaking in there.

Severus inwardly winced; he probably deserved some of that ire. It had been stupid to go venturing forth on a whim and the mere words of one of his enemies. Considering he was one of the  _smart_  students, one could only wonder what sort of sorry excuse and idiot might come up with to go venturing down the tunnel below the willow or sneaking into the shack.

"It's all about tourists, Lily," Mary stated, "Do you think they care if someone gets hurts every now and then? All they care about is that the shack brings in people, and people means money.  _That's_  all they care about."

"And who exactly is this they you speak of?" Severus asked with the hint of a smile.

Mary faltered, "Well…they are…you know, the corporations…that's what my brothers say at least. You know, the Man and all that stuff."

"Oh no, Sev," Lily mock whispered, "The hippie insurgence has crossed from America and into our beloved British Iles!"

Severus smirked.

"Oh hush!" Mary chided, "The wizarding world has money grubbing corporations too and I'm sure they're just as awful as the muggle ones my brothers keep going on about. You're just uninformed." She stood up, brushing off her skirt, "Well, let's say we check out a few more shops and then grab some lunch?"

They ducked into a few shops here or there, looking at new products for plant care at one place, and the latest racing broom care kit at another. There was one little building in the early stages of setting up an animal care shop, but the building itself had a reputation of never holding one business there for long, often times foreclosing months later only for a new shop to open up in its place with the same results.

"Want to check out Zonkos?" Mary suggested, gesturing to the ever busy shop.

Lily worried her lip between her teeth, "I don't know. I'm not exactly a fan of pranks."

"Me either," Severus said dourly.

"Just a peek," Mary bargained, "Plus it wouldn't hurt to see what the newest products are and what they do, so we'll know what to expect and how to reverse it if it ever happens at school."

It seemed like sound reasoning, "I suppose it could help to know what Potter and Black have in store for me this year." Begrudgingly they entered the shop.

To say it was packed was an understatement. The infamy of the Prewett twins and later the Marauders had led to a boom in prank item sales. Seventh years wanting to go out on a high note of popularity and first years looking to make a name for themselves as prankster kings all clamored to get their hands on the latest items.

There were joke items of a harmless nature like disappearing ink, shoes that made you dance when a certain song was played, flowers that exploded into butterflies. There were more gimmicky things for sale that only the truly gullible would fall for; things such as love potions and 'Smarty' elixirs sworn to increase your intelligence. The fact that they were sold in a joke shop didn't seem to dissuade some poor saps of their authenticity.

There were also the classic staples of any good prankster's repertoire. Dungbombs, Sugar Quills, Nose-Biting Teacups, all were well stocked and kept in steady supply at Zonko's. It was odd that with the number of things from this very store now banned within the halls of Hogwarts that the shopkeeper wouldn't think to refuse to sell those particular items to obvious students. The fact that Dumbledore had never issued such a request to the shop just showed how little he actually took the pranks seriously and how much stress they put on the caretaker.

"It's so crowded in here," Mary exclaimed, wiggling through the throng of students, "What, did they all schedule the same time to visit this shop?"

"Most likely Potter and his friends are somewhere in here 'testing' the merchandise," Lily theorized, "It probably drew a crowd."

"The last thing I want to see is that tosser in his natural habitat," Severus groused, elbowing someone in the ribs to make them move out of his way before they stepped on his foot.

More people streamed into the shop behind them, boxing them in just inside the entrance.

"Maybe this was a bad idea, you guys," Mary admitted, "Let's just go."

Lily shifted this way and that, trying to fit through the crowd without plastering herself against the people in front of her. It was very hard to move and she didn't really like feeling like a sardine.

"We can check it out some other time, Mary," Lily offered, "When it's less crowd—" she stepped backwards onto someone's foot, prompting them to fiercely pull it out from under her and tip her into the person in front of her with an 'Ooph!"

Lily pulled away from the solid wall of person she just slammed her face into, rubbing her nose tenderly, "Ow…"

"Excuse me, miss," said the person she had collided with.

It was a boy around her age, with Hufflepuff robes and sandy curls. A smattering of freckles decorated his face and he had a gap between his front teeth.

"Sorry, about that," the boy said, obviously unperturbed by the sudden collision, "Just trying to get by here." He squeezed past Lily without further ado and disappeared into the store, leaving Lily standing there staring after him.

"Lily," Mary said, relieved to finally made it to her friend, "There you are. Severus is waiting for us by the door." She took in her friend's face for a minute.

"Are you alright?" Mary asked. She looked back in the direction the boy had gone, "Do you know him?"

"I…" Lily started listlessly, staring off into space, "…I've got to go," she turned and pushed her way out of the shop hurriedly, Mary right behind her.

"Lily, wait!" Mary called out.

Lily darted past Severus and off the path into a wooded area behind one of the shops, taking a seat down on a rock to catch her breath.

There was the sound of leaves crunching followed swiftly and before long, Severus and Mary were crashing through the trees.

"What was all that about?" Severus asked once he caught his breath.

"Yeah," Mary added, "You scared me half to death."

"I saw Cornwallis," Lily said quietly.

Mary didn't seem to get the meaning behind those words, but Severus did.

"Cornwallis," he asked, "You're sure? Did he try anything?"

"No," Lily said, sliding down the rock until she was sitting on the ground, "We just bumped into each other. But I know it was him even if he didn't recognize me."

"I'm missing something here," Mary said, looking back and forth between the pair in confusion, "Who's Cornwallis? That guy back there?"

"Is he still there?" Severus asked, looking back the way they came, "I'll hex him for you."

Lily snagged the edge of Severus's robes, "Don't bother, Sev. He's probably already gone by now. Besides, he didn't do anything to me."

Severus burned holes in the trees around them with his eyes, glaring at them as though he could see his intended target through them, "I could just go back and hex everyone in that shop. Hell, half of them have probably done something to warrant it if they're buying things there."

"Let it go, Sev," Lily pleaded.

"Hello?" Mary waved her hands to get their attention, "Who's Cornwallis?"

Lily played with some twigs by her feet, digging them aimlessly in the dirt, "Cornwallis Tetch. You and I didn't start hanging out until the end of second year, Mary, so you wouldn't know him. But for a year and a half, he used to pick on me a lot."

"It was harassment," Severus stated firmly, "The little creep had no right going near her."

"It was kid stuff," Lily defended weakly, "He'd pull my hair…push me down in the halls, knock books out of my hand…"

"Flip, your skirt," Severus continued hotly, "Poke your chest, unclip your training bra!"

"That's awful!" Mary cried, "He did all that, Lily?"

Lily nodded, "At first I tried to ignore it. I mean, the pranks Potter and his friends were pulling on Severus were already far worse than that."

"It was still wrong," Severus went on, "We tried telling someone. Prefects, teachers."

"The teachers told me that boys just do that; the age old 'boys will be boys' adage," Lily said glumly, "Plus he was a Hufflepuff, so it was seen as harmless instead of anything to worry about like the house rivalry fights."

"When we told a prefect, the stupid girl told us it was 'sweet'," Severus sneered, "She tried to tell us it was just what boys do to girls they like. She actually told Lily that she should be flattered because it meant she was pretty."

"I heard that excuse plenty growing up," Lily confided in her friends, "Tetch isn't the only one who ever bothered me like that, he was just the one who did it the most and the longest."

Severus shook his head, "No one would take it seriously."

"Well McGonagall did," Lily pointed out, "She didn't believe that crushes or whatever excuse was used was a valid reason to 'act like an arse'. She told him to leave me alone a number of times."

Severus could admit to that, "Yes, she was in our corner, but with the rest of the school viewing it as nothing out of the ordinary, we didn't exactly have much support."

"So what happened?" Mary asked.

"Eventually, Tetch found a new girl to pick on," Lily confessed. She looked away, ashamed, "I hate to say it, but I was relieved it was someone else. Now, I just feel like an ass for dropping the issue the second he left me alone; I bet the girl he switched to wasn't feeling much better than I did when it was me."

"It's not your job to police his behavior," Severus told her, "Teachers should have been holding him responsible, not you."

"Still it makes me feel like such a hypocrite," Lily admitted in frustration, "If it bothered me, it must have bothered someone else."

"Is that why you freaked out?" Mary inquired, "It's been a few years since he stopped. Why did it hit you just now?"

"I don't know," Lily said. She pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging her knees, "Truthfully I was uncomfortable back when it happened, but I just told myself to laugh it off, that boys are stupid and do stupid things; they don't mean anything by it. Looking back on it now though, after everything that's happened, things don't seem so innocent anymore. I guess seeing him after all I've been through just triggered some unpleasant questions and thoughts."

"Such as?" Severus prompted.

"Well, lots of things. I mean, would I have laughed it off now that I've developed?" Lily queried, "Would it seem so innocent now if they did it? Why is my child-self devalued in an act that we'd call perverted if they did when I have a more mature body? Was I just inadvertently raised to pass things off as 'boys will be boys' or 'it's kid stuff' instead of the harassment it was?"

Mary leaned back and sighed, "It's like when people says kids are 'just playing doctor'. There's nothing innocent about it; most of the time it's one kid being touched and the other doing the touching, and yet we see it as harmless because they're young. But it teaches kids to not take those things seriously, even when it happens to them. It's why kids don't speak up the first time a relative or family friend has them sit on their lap or give them a kiss…they say it means nothing, but really parents just end up accidentally teaching their kids to consent to certain levels of touch even if it makes them uncomfortable."

Lily nodded, "Yeah. I don't know how it is in the Wizarding world, but at home, people teach us the obvious red flags growing up; don't go with strangers, don't let grown-ups touch you 'down there'. That's all well and good, but what about all those times your mom or dad insists you give your relatives a hug when they come visit? I know my parents mean well, but it doesn't make it less upsetting. 'Don't be shy, sweetie, you'll make them feel bad.' Well what about how I feel?" Lily crossed her arms.

"Nobody bats an eye if it's a hug or a peck on the cheek, but really, we're being raised to tolerate physical contact without consent in order to be polite and it just leads us to putting up with less obvious signs of harassment," Severus tacked on.

"And people are so uncomfortable about causing confrontation that they brush things off to be complacent. A boy pulls your hair? He likes you. He snapped your bra strap; it must be puppy love," Mary frowned, "Unless they do something outrageously bad, we are just supposed to go with the flow or ignore it."

"And the worse part is plenty of those people doing it don't even realize it is harassment," Lily said forlornly, "Look at Potter; he can't take no for an answer and pesters me constantly, thinking that angering me is better than me ignoring him. He thinks upsetting me is better than me not knowing he exists. He even hurts my friends just to get my attention! In his mind he's 'flirting' and I'm just overreacting."

"And people think you should be flattered by it," Mary pointed out.

"I know!" Lily groaned, burying her face in her hands, "What is wrong with people? And what's wrong with me? I forgot about Tetch's behavior for years, why does seeing him now make me so…angry?"

"There's nothing wrong with you," Mary said gently, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, "Lily, with all we've been through, some things are a…touchy subject for you or me. I never really minded the wolf whistles or looks before, but now sometimes I worry that one of those guys might actually try something." She twisted a lock of hair between her fingers, suddenly self-conscious about how much make-up she had on.

"If someone looks at a girl too long now, I start to worry they're up to something," Severus confessed, "You're not the only one who's lost a lot of trust in people, Lily, so don't beat yourself up. It's okay to feel wary."

Lily sighed, curling deeper in on herself, "Well it is nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this."

Severus sat down next to her, "Trust me, you're not. Are you sure you don't want to try to arrange a meeting with Marcus for your own session? He might still be here."

Lily shrugged, looking at the ground, "I don't know. I don't think I could handle being alone with him. No offense, he's a real nice person, Sev…but."

"He's a guy," Severus surmised, "And you've probably told enough men about your ordeal already."

Lily nodded, "Yeah…"

Lily stood up, "Listen, you guys enjoy the rest of the day. I'm going to head back to the school and find that lost button before the house elves sweep it up and it's gone for good."

"Are you sure you don't want us to come along?" Severus offered.

Lily shook her head, "It's fine. Hagrid will probably be more than happy to walk me up to the school. Besides, you can't enter the Girl's dorm anyway, Sev, so you can't help me look for the button as it is."

"At least let us walk you to the end of the village then," Mary suggested.

Knowing they weren't going to let up, Lily agreed to at least their temporary escort services.

"We'll see you before dinner," Mary said as Lily went to approach Hagrid.

"Definitely," Lily agreed, waving her friends goodbye.

The trek back to school was quiet, Hagrid making some small talk and inviting Lily down for tea sometime, but mostly the man was just content to admire the passing scenery. When they reached the castle gates, Hagrid reminded Lily one more time that his hut was always open to visitors and then headed on his merry way.

When Lily got up to the Gryffindor tower, she was relieve to see most of the older students had gone to Hogsmeade, leaving her dorm room empty. Glad she wouldn't have to begin her search amidst Jessica and Meldonna's pestering, Lily set to searching for the wayward button.

"It must be around here somewhere…" Lily muttered, crouching down to peer under the dresser. She got down on her knees and ran a hand along the floor underneath her bed.

Nothing. Climbing to her feet, she pulled back her bedsheets, carefully looking through the blankets to see if the button had fallen on her bed that morning as she was tugging the blouse from her dresser drawer. Still, she found nothing.

' _This is going to take a while,'_  Lily thought with a frown. She would not be deterred though. That was her favorite blouse and she adore those little buttons for their unique charm. She could probably just transfigure something to look like it, but it wouldn't be the same; Lily doubted she could capture every little detail to perfection, anyway.

Try as she might to keep her thoughts clear, Lily's mind kept drifting back to what happened in Zonko's.

Seeing Tetch again shouldn't have been a shock to her, he still attended Hogwarts even if he now left her alone. It was just…startling to be suddenly so close to him after pushing him out of her mind for so long.

She tried not to recall the smell of his breath when they bumped into each other; it was unpleasant, though she was sure the boy didn't mean it to.

' _Don't think about it.'_

She tried to ignore the memories, all those times he snuck up on her in the hall and pulled on her hair so hard she cried.

' _Don't think about it.'_

Those times he pinched the skin of her back as he snapped her bra while running past her in the hall.

' _Don't think about it.'_

His hand skimming her leg as he flipped her skirt.

' _Don't think about it.'_

…Avery's hand on her thigh, inching up under her skirt.

Avery tearing at her shirt, sending buttons everywhere…

 

{page break}

 

"You know, I can walk back to my dorm alone, right?" Mary said exasperatedly to her unexpected accompaniment.

"Yes, but then I would be bored with no one to annoy," Simone drawled, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

"I've always been curious about your common rooms, anyway," Thea admitted, "We've seen Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff's but not Gryffindor."

"I have to say, I'm not impressed," Simone stated, taking in the red and gold common room with it's over-stuffed chairs, "Too…Grandma's house."

"Hey!" a Gryffindor boy shouted, "Slytherin's aren't allowed in here. Get out!"

Simone stood up to her full height, her head thrown back imperially, "If you wish me to leave, try and move me," she challenged.

The boy looked around them warily, noting the lack of students in the room with him. Gulping, he sat back down by the fireplace.

"Smart boy," Simone said.

Mary rolled her eyes with a sigh, "I take it you want to see my dorm room too?"

"Well since you're offering," Simone said pleasantly.

With another eye roll, Mary led the pair up the stairs.

"I wonder if it's as elegant as our rooms," Simone wondered aloud, "Knowing this House, it's probably a total—"

They opened the door and came to an abrupt halt.

"—eyesore…" Simone finished softly, taking in the sight before her.

One area of the room was complete chaos. A bed was sitting at an angle, the mattress hanging off it and the sheets strewn everywhere. The bed curtains hung by only a few rungs. The dresser by the bed had all the drawers open, the bottom one pulled out of the dresser completely and sitting on the floor with pants spilling out of it. Papers were scattered in complete disorder, covering the floor like an art deco tiling. A trunk at the foot of the bed was upended, items pouring out of it haphazardly in a rumpled mess.

In the center of the havoc sat Lily with her head down.

"Lily," Mary gasped, carefully picking her way through the mess to reach her friend, "What happened?"

Lily raised her head, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

"I couldn't find the button…," she said brokenly, hiccupping.

Simone and Thea shared a questioning look, Simone guarding the door while Thea made her way over to Lily.

Not sure what else to do, Mary pulled her friend into her arms and let Lily cry.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little credit where credit is due, the final scene was inspired from an episode of the tv series Mom, in which the main character, a recovering alcoholic, encounters the man who raped her years ago and breaks down emotionally over a cricket in her home that she cannot find. 
> 
> Soooo, some hot button issue in this chapter. I hope that everyone can handle them maturely even if they disagree on the characters expressed opinions. I'm not gong to cop out and say the character's opinions are their own the for sake of the story and do not reflect my own; I write what I know and this is how I feel. 
> 
> I understand wanting to raise our kids to be social and such, especially with family and close friends, so encouraging hugs is fine and dandy. I just have an issue with kids being pressured to hug or kiss someone in the family simply to please said family member. I feel making your child feel obligated to do so before they are ready basically undermines our attempts to teach them about things like 'bad touch' and inappropriate contact, because we are in one corner teaching them to run from strangers who want to touch them and hurt them by touching, but then in the other corner we are telling them to put their feelings of being uncomfortable aside to make a grown adult happy when the adult is perfectly capable of getting over not receiving a hug. 
> 
> A member of my extended family exploited this confusion when I was young. I was sworn to secrecy, told I would never be believed anyway. Because things started out with me just doing what I thought was expected of me in interacting with family, I blamed myself and kept quiet. 
> 
> This family member was the same age as me, but more sexually matured due to years of exposure to adult films in her unsupervised home, which is why I call the whole "playing doctor" and "mutual exploration" excuse adults use about it BULLSHIT. It isn't mutual, more often than not it is one child being touched and other other holding all the power and doing the touching. I personally feel the first question a parent should ask their child when finding out they were subjected to such 'play' is "were you uncomfortable?" If the answer is yes, then you best be telling little Billy or little Sally's parents that their child can't be around your child until they have a serious talk with the kid about what's inappropriate. 
> 
> *ahem* Moving on!
> 
> So we are seeing the fallout of Lily's trauma. It was a long time coming and I'm sure many of your were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like many victims of assault, Lily is beginning to re-access and become aware of how many sexist and sexually negative things we ignore or let slide on a regular basis in our society. Things like being told to smile or receiving catcalls, being targeted for bullying by a boy in middle school. These things are oftentimes downplayed instead of recognized for the harm they can cause and the sexism they entail. And the idea that a boy or girl bothers you because they "like you" encourages an unhealthy concept of relationships that can a person can take with them throughout their lives subconsciously.
> 
> I personally feel that a good rule of thumb in matters of bullying that consist of pulling on clothing or touching someone is this: would you find it sexual harassment if the offender was an adult or the victim was an adult or both? If the answer is yes, then them doing it when they are younger should not be tolerated pain and simple. Teach them to respect each other's bodies early and enough with this "they're just kids" or "boys will be boys" crap. 
> 
> Hope I haven't ruffled any feathers with my opinions. If so, I did not intend to offend, only share my own opinion. 
> 
> Read and review :)


	30. Survivors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily both learn to see themselves as more than victims.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all. Have I got a story for you!
> 
> Sooo, despite my use of one for writing, I have little skill when it comes to computers. Of course my coworkers disagree because they can't even send email and I know how to make posters and flyers on photoshop, but honestly, while I know the programs of a computer, the more technical functions of one baffle me.
> 
> So I had no idea that I already had windows 10 on my computer. When it forced an upload on me, I believed it was installing 10 for the first time, when it was in fact an update of the 10 I already had. This update disabled my speakers-the built in speakers that came with the computer-and would apparently require me to download a device to make them work again-the speakers in the computer which I paid for and therefore should work instead of being disabled by a bullshit update just so windows can plug other devices it offers.
> 
> So, I did a system recovery to try and get rid of windows 10...unaware that that was the system that came with my computer. So I got stuck in an inescapable recovery loop, with a never ending loading screen that could not be canceled or exited out of. It left me unable to use the computer. The big problem with this was my files for this story were on here and I (like an idiot) had not backed them up. That meant if I reinstalled windows 10 to fix the computer, it would wiped the memory and take my chapters with it. I was a wreck.
> 
> Thankfully I have a friend who is a computer genius who managed to forcibly extract the files for me. The computer is pretty much on its last legs, but supposedly can be fixed. I just cared about the files. So this chapter being here for you today is thanks to my good friend Radiant Cadenza.
> 
> Warning, this chapter will discuss past sexual assault shared by (fictional) survivors.

* * *

"Well," Marcus began, "I must say I'm surprised to see you so soon, Severus."

The pair sat in one of the rooms above the Three Broomsticks, the designated meeting place for their sessions. With Dumbledore's assistance, Marcus traveled by floo to the tavern once a week so that Severus could receive weekly therapy to get his emotions in order after years of his father's abuse and mother's negligence. The appointments typically landed on weekends during the day so that it coincided with the Hogsmeade visits so as not to arouse suspicion.

Which is why Marcus was very surprised to be called back one day after his scheduled session for an evening appointment with Severus.

Severus rested his arms on his knees, leaning forward in his chair with a sigh.

"It's about Lily," he began, "Things sort of went downhill for her yesterday and I'm at a loss as what to do. She's been holed up in the girl's dorm since yesterday with Mary and I'm not allowed in there. I want to help but I feel helpless, so Dumbledore thought I should talk to you."

"Professor Dumbledore," Marcus corrected gently, "So why don't we start from the beginning: what happened when you left our session yesterday?"

"I met back up with Lily and Mary," Severus explained, "we mostly just hung around outside; nothing better to do. We looked at some shops, watched everyone else walking around, seems were going well."

"What changed?" Marcus asked.

Severus sat back in his chair, "We went to Zonko's, that joke shop."

Marcus nodded, "I know the one."

"Lily bumped into someone and it sort of set her off, I guess," Severus said, "This kid that use to harass her."

"So she met someone who once bullied her," Marcus summed up, "Like how you were treated at school."

Severus shook his head, a scowl in place, "No, it wasn't bullying like with me; it was harassment. He'd flip up her skirt to peek at her knickers, pluck at her bra through her shirt. He made a few mean comments about her chest too; always making fun of her being 'flat'. I suppose he thought if he constantly called her unattractive no one would be able to consider his actions as sexual harassment."

"But you recognized it for what it was," Marcus observed.

Severus nodded, "I didn't know the word for it back then, but I knew it was wrong…in the same way Tobias forcing a kiss on my mum was wrong. The same way him telling her she was built like a stick was wrong. He was harassing her on a different level than regular bullying. He treated her like her body was something for him to touch or appraise and that if she had a problem with it then she was just upset she fell short of his expectations. She wasn't allowed to feel upset on the principal that her body belonged to her and not him."

"I take it Lily felt the same way about the student's treatment of her?" Marcus probed.

"Yeah," Severus said, "She told me it made her uncomfortable, that she could be wearing layers and still feel overexposed around that kid. He finally left her alone before the end of second year, but I don't think Lily ever really got over it."

Marcus sat back, rubbing his chin in thought, "So seeing him yesterday just brought old feelings back."

Severus sighed, "Mary says Lily had a breakdown when she got back to the dorm room yesterday. She thinks this is all connected to the attack on the train."

"And what do you think, Severus?" Marcus asked.

Severus shrugged, "It makes sense, I guess. I mean, I've been trying to convince Lily to see someone about what happened, but she wouldn't listen to me. I told her she needs help sorting out how she feels, dealing with the nightmares."

"Nightmares?" Marcus inquired.

Severus nodded, "She won't really tell me about them other than that they involve Avery's attack. She had trouble sleeping over the summer." He left out how the remedy had been to let her sleep in his bed.

"Have the nightmares continued since she returned to school?" Marcus asked.

"I think so," Severus answered, feeling guilty that he could no longer help Lily as he had in the summer, "She says they aren't that bad, but that she occasionally takes a calming draught before bed to clear her mind. She's also slept once or twice in Mary's bed from what I've been told."

"So she's coping, but not well," Marcus stated.

Severus looked askance, downtrodden, "Yeah…I don't know what to do for her."

"There's not really much more you can do that you haven't been doing already," Marcus told Severus, "There isn't really any wrong or right way to process trauma or grief. Some people recover quickly, others take years. Some throw themselves into new experiences and relationship as a distraction so they can move on, and others stay stuck in one place for a while because the familiarity is comforting. As long as Lily doesn't resort to hurting herself or others, how she copes is whatever she feels most comfortable with."

"So I just do nothing," Severus asked in dismay.

"I never said that," Marcus replied, "You're doing plenty by supporting her. Keep doing that. Listen to her, be patient, give her a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, and an understanding ear to share her thoughts with. Keep in mind, one of the biggest injustices of the attack was that her choices and rights to her very being were violated; being allowed to move at her own pace and decide what to do for herself is crucial now to reestablishing her self-worth and personal autonomy."

"But she can't just keep this bottled up," Severus insisted.

"Maybe not, but she needs to choose to seek outside help, not be badgered into it," Marcus pointed out, "I don't deny that talking would help her, but it might be a matter of talking to the right person."

"Like who?" Severus asked desperately.

"Someone who's been through a similar incident, perhaps?" Marcus suggested, "I don't know how much of a victim support system is in place in your world, but it couldn't hurt to ask Headmaster Dumbledore if he would be able to put her in touch with an advocate who can relate to her situation."

"You really think that would help?" Severus asked.

Marcus regarded Severus carefully, "Tell me, Severus; what first drew you to Lily?"

Severus's eyebrows rose into his hairline, taken aback by such a random question, "Well, because she was the first witch I met. I only knew my mother had magic back then."

"What else?" Marcus prodded.

Severus thought about it, "…she could do the same sort of things I could do. And…her sister used to call her nasty names…just like my dad."

Marcus raised a brow, "So you saw this girl from a very different background from you and found a common ground of hardship you could relate to each other on."

Severus blinked, "I hadn't thought of it like that…" He knew Lily's magic and personality had beckoned him from the start, but he hadn't really thought any deeper than that at the time. He remembered crouching behind the bushes, watching a red haired girl with a radiant smile and ringing laugh float to the ground midst bigoted cries from her sister and he felt an instant connection with Lily then and there. She was like him; she knew what it was like to be different.

Marcus gestured encouragingly with his hands, "See how knowing someone like you helped you cope with your father's hatred of magic? She knew what it was like to be judged for something beyond her control; maybe not to the same level as you, but enough that you felt a kindred spirit in her."

"So both of us being victims of circumstance brought us together," Severus theorized, "You think meeting another victim will help her open up."

Marcus smiled kindly, "Not victims; survivors, Severus. You and Lily are survivors of very terrible things. That's what you must keep doing; surviving. A victim is defined but what happened to them; a survivor is defined by how they move forward from there."

Severus left Marcus feeling marginally better but he had quite a bit to think about. He had never given much thought to what it meant for he and Lily to have made it through their attacks, only what it made them to have experienced it at all. Victim had been a term he hated when applied to himself and had made the aftermath of the attack on the train much more difficult to deal with as the press plastered his face all over every paper; a victim of attempted murder, the would-be hero who almost died. What people saw was a boy at the mercy of Avery's cruelty and it infuriated Severus to be handed their pity. It's the reason he was glad his ordeal with his father had never made the papers, being a victim to a lousy drunk was mortifying and would only serve as proof that all Severus was insecure aboout himself and felt over people thought would be true; that he wasn't a strong enough wizard to protect himself from a drunken, pitiful muggle.

It had never occurred to him before that surviving such circumstances made him and Lily just that; survivors.

But now that he thought about it, he couldn't think of a more appropriate description. True the innocence lost to both of them was something they could never get back. True they would always bear the scars—physically or emotionally (or both)—of what they suffered through at the hands of the unfeeling and unkind, but at the end of the day, they had made it through those hardships. They emerged on the other side of tragedy demonstrating a strength to endure and venture forth.

Surely each and every victim of assault or violence had proven that no matter how broken they felt inside, the very fact that they continued to breath, to live and fight for recovery was proof that they had not shattered completely.

Lily hadn't shattered, no matter how cracked and fractured she may feel right now. The difference between shattered and broken was that you could not fix what was shattered beyond repair. But broken was fixable. In fact, it was natural, unavoidable even. Humans were meant to bend, to break easily, because it was only by repairing themselves and others that they would be made stronger for the next onslaught that tried to break them.

Lily was allowed to break if she needed to and Severus was going to make sure she knew she shouldn't feel ashamed for it.

"Hello, Severus," greeted Remus as Severus reentered the castle, "What were you doing outside at this hour?"

"Lupin," Severus said stiffly, "I had an appointment arranged by the Headmaster and that's all you need to know. Not that it is any of your concern to begin with," he added before turning to nod at someone approaching them, "Good evening, Thea."

Passing them in the hall, Thea broke away from the group of Hufflepuffs she was walking with to pause in front of the two boys.

"Thea," Remus greeted politely with a friendly smile.

Eyes narrowing at Remus, she turned to Severus with a look of concern, "He isn't bothering you, is he, Severus?"

"Unfortunately no," Severus sighed, "To my utter dismay he is being passably polite."

Thea regarded Severus carefully, searching for any hint of a lie. Finding none, she nodded hesitantly, "Well you just let me know if that changes. And you," she added, pointing at Remus with all the viciousness of a displeased kitten, "I've got my eye on you."

She gave Remus one last glare before rejoining her friends.

Remus whistled, "Well…she's rather…protective, wouldn't you say, Severus?"

"As protective as a Kneazle kit could be over their favorite napping spot," Severus mused, "and I don't believe I agreed to be on a first name basis with you, did I?"

Remus smiled sheepishly, "Can't blame a guy for trying to be friendly. Besides, it seems sort of…standoffish to call you by your surname, don't you think?"

"Serapuem calls me by it and we manage a cordial relationship," Severus said, breezing past Remus and heading for the Great Hall.

"Yes, because constantly telling her that you loathe her presence is sooo cordial," Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

"Considering I typically hex anyone else I despise, yes," Severus said, pausing to look over his shoulder at Remus, "Yes it is."

Remus huffed, hurrying after Snape, "Well anyway, she's the only one calling you Snape. You let Mary and Thea call you by your first name."

"Scolding Thea would be like leaving a sad, wet kitten out in the rain," Severus stated, "Go ahead and try to tell her no, you'll feel like you kicked a puppy. And Serapeum isn't the only one using my surname; Davis and Nesme do most of the time."

Remus sighed, "Fine, so there's them too, but what about Mary?"

"Miss MacDonald has been through a rough ordeal and if being on a first name basis with me makes her feel better, then I'm not about to make an arse of myself and tell her she can't," was Severus's rigid reply.

Remus chuckled, "Ah, so there is a heart somewhere in that dark, black fathomless void you call a soul."

"I suppose at some point it was due to make an appearance," Snape drawled, refusing to take the bait.

"And you've got jokes," exclaimed Remus, "Where has this side of you been hiding?"

"The same place you've been hiding this sarcasm of yours apparently," Severus quipped, turning to face Remus, "To be frank, I rarely see you show an ounce of wit or personality around your hapless friends. It's usually Potter or Black bleating out the petty one-liners."

Remus winced, his grin growing more sheepish, "Fair point, but that's only what you see when they're bothering you or trying to show off. When we're all together and just being ourselves, I'm quite the card."

"Fascinating," Severus deadpanned.

"You're no fun," Remus said with a frown.

"And here I thought I was the life of the party," Severus said monotonously.

Remus pursed his lips together, wrinkling his nose at Snape. Whatever silly attempt he was going to make at playful banter next was cut off by someone calling his name from down the hall.

"Remus," Sirius greeted happily as he rounded the corner, "I thought I heard you're voice." He paused looking around curiously, "I thought I heard someone else though. Weren't you just talking to someone?"

Remus glanced besides him; the space Snape had only recently been standing was empty. A quick look around the hallway showed the boy nowhere in sight.

Remus turned back to Sirius, puzzled, "Apparently not."

Sirius snorted, "Weirdo," he said, throwing an arm over Remus's shoulder, "So Wormtail finished his essay for potions class so we figured we'd all go down to dinner together. So I came looking for you."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "He finished the assignment all by himself?"

Sirius looked away scratching the back of his head.

"Well he may have had some assistance," Sirius said casually, "But it was an extra assignment anyway. Sluggy's too hard on Petey. He didn't mean to melt the cauldron; why making him write lines on it?"

"Because he melted it due to paying more attention to your antics than what he was dropping in his cauldron," Remus said dryly, "Not really an honest mistake so much as someone and his friends buggering about instead of being careful."

Sirius pouted, "You wound me, Moony, really you do. Now, let's get something to eat, hm? I'm starving."

As the pair walked away, Severus cautiously peered around the suit of armor he had hid behind. Seeing the coast was clear, he stepped back out into the hall, brushing off his robes. Turning to head to dinner, he spotted Filch's cat, Mr. Nivans, watching him from beneath one of the wall sconces. The skinny, skeletal sphinx cat's eyes stared owlishly up at him from the shadows.

"I know what you're thinking," Severus said snidely, "That wasn't cowardice; I just don't want to deal with stupidity today."

Mr. Nivans just blinked disinterestedly at him, lifting a paw to clean it.

Severus sneered down at the animal, "What do you know, anyway? You're a cat."

Severus turned his back on the feline and headed to the Great Hall for supper. Once inside, a quick scan of the room confirmed that Lily was still holed up in her dorm room, though Severus did spy Mary leaving the hall with two plates. She sent Severus a small if not sad smile as she left.

Settling down at the Slytherin table, Severus ignored his yearmates usual sneers and muttered insults as he filled his plate. Having grown so used to Simone putting extra helpings on his plate, he made no mention of it when the dark skinned girl dished him a serving of sautéed green beans and potatoes.

 

{page break}

 

"Lily?" Mary called quietly, shouldering open the door to their rooms, "Lily, I brought dinner."

Curled up against the headboard of her bed, Lily sat with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her legs and she was bent forward, cascades of red hair hiding her face from view. Various used tissues were strewn about the bedspread among rumpled sheets and the clothes she changed but was too exhausted emotionally to put in the laundry hamper. An empty glass of water sat on the nightstand next to her.

And so things had been for much of the day as well as yesterday, ever since Mary, Simon, and Thea had found her. The two Slytherin girls fetching McGonagall soon thereafter, Lily spent the rest of her afternoon after Hogsmede sitting besides her head of house being soothed with soft words and gentle whispers from a surprising nurturing Minerva. The usually stern professor offered her no false platitudes that things would sort themselves out or be all right, merely that things would get easier with time, much like with losing a loved one; you don't get over it, you get through it.

When the sun had set and the rest of Lily's year returned to their rooms, McGonagall made quick work of shooing the gossipy Jessica and her nosey friends into sharing the sixth year girl's room for the night, leaving only Mary to stay. Once she saw to it that Lily was sound asleep with a dreamless sleep potion in her, the deputy headmistress bid Mary goodnight and left with the instructions to fetch her should it be needed. Once McGonagall was gone, Marlene secreted herself into the room, giving Mary a much needed rest from tending to Lily and, more importantly, giving her a chance to vent how she herself was holding up since the attack.

The next morning Lily was excused from all her classes with an unspoken understanding among all her professors that it wasn't any student's business where she was or why. The spell on the girl's dormitory staircase already ensured any nosy boys—like Potter—would be unable to bother Lily, but it was up to her friends to keep girls from prying.

Jessica and Meldonna were allowed to come fetch their clothes and books in the morning, but Marlene was quick to send them on their way when they attempted to get any information out of Lily on her breakdown. Splitting their time between classes and meals, Marlene and Mary took turns sitting with Lily to keep others out of their dorm room for as long as their friend needed. Warm and motherly Nesme was even smuggled in at one point when both girls simply could not get away from class.

Between bouts of crying and lies that she was fine, Lily spent her time writing to her sister and parents back home. Though she knew not to expect a response until the next day at the earliest, she sent them several missives, all filled with her misgivings and regrets for not being a better witch, her insecurities and doubts about her magic and if she belonged, any and all grievances she could think of came bubbling forth and spilled across the parchment.

Now Lily sat drained, exhausted as she curled in on herself as if wish to simply disappear.

"Lily," Mary tried again, "You have to eat." She set the plates down on the nightstand and sat beside her friend. She held a fork out expectantly in front of Lily, "Please?"

With great reluctance, Lily took the proffered fork and picked up her plate. Lowering her legs so she could scoot back against the headboard, she took small bites of her stewed potatoes and beef. Though her appetite was small today, there was a comforting element to the hot, seasoned dish in front of her. It was one that filled her with warmth and nostalgia, a sleepy, content feelings like the times her mother would serve her beef stew when she was sick, letting her curl up on the sofa with a blanket and the telly on. The elves had obviously made this with her in mind, as Mary had just been talking about looking for something similar to her mother's cooking before she went down to fetch dinner.

"Feeling a little better?" Mary asked.

Lily nodded meekly, swallowing a mouthful of potatoes.

"A little," she sniffed, "Sorry you've had to put up with this all day. I imagine dealing with a wishy-washy ninny like me can't be much fun."

Mary patted Lily on the back, "Lily you're distressed; that's perfectly natural after all you've been through. These things take time to move on from and just about everyone who's been through it has a breaking point."

"They do?" Lily asked disbelievingly, "Then when was yours?"

"Over the summer," Mary admitted, "Before you and Severus ever visited. I was a wreck for weeks. It took a few days for what happened to really sink in and when it did, it hit harder than I expected."

"I thought it already had sunk in for me," Lily confessed, "I don't get why it's all coming out now."

"Maybe because you haven't really bee dealing with it," Mary suggested, "It sounds like you've been mostly bottling it up, focusing on mending things with Severus, worrying about the trial. But when was the last time you really sat down and thought about what happened to you, what could have happened?"

Lily shrugged, "Early on, I did. I spoke about it a little with Sev the first few days after he woke up at St. Mungos. After that, all the little things just kept springing up and distracting me, keeping my mind off it. Then we started looking into Sev's parents and what his life was like," she paused, shaking her head, "That's not really my story to tell."

Mary nodded, "I get it."

"Anyway, we had everything else to think about after that," Lilt went on, "And I'll be honest, I felt better when it wasn't on my mind. I wanted it all to go away, so I avoided the subject because it hurt to think about."

Mary smiled sadly, "You can't get past this if you never think about it though, can you?"

"I can forget about it," Lily offered weakly.

Mary shook her head, "Trust me, it's not something you can forget. I sure haven't. Mom told me it's just something you learn to put behind you, but it will always be a part of your past."

Lily put her mostly finished dinner down and pushed the plate away from herself, "I miss how things were last year when I only  _heard_  about how dangerous this whole blood supremacy thing was and hadn't actually experienced it."

"Me too," Mary agreed. She took Lily's hand in her own, gently tracing soothing patterns up and down her friend's arm with her fingertips, "It all seems so long ago now; things were simpler then. We knew what to be against and what to be for because others told us what was right and wrong, what bad people were doing. Hearing it was enough to know it was awful; knowing about it first hand was something I could have gone without."

Lily leaned against Mary, "When did things change? We're not kids anymore in the adult's war. Now it's our war and we're the casualties of it. It's all so unfair."

Mary just nodded, an arm around her friend.

"And you know," Lily began, "I'm not upset that he did it because of my blood. I don't think any reason for it would have made this any better or worse. It's just the fact that at the end of the day, I was just a number to him. Just one little speck in his list of crimes. This wasn't a big deal to him; just a drop in the bucket," Lily inhaled harshly, her shoulders beginning to quake, "He'll never really know how much this affects me; he'll never care. Years from now he probably won't even remember my face and yet I know I'll never forget his!"

She dissolved into a fresh bout of tears, sobs wracking her frame.

"Lily," Mary said softly, pulling her friend into her arms and rocking her, "It'll be alright."

"Please don't let Jess and the others back in her tonight," Lily hiccupped, "I don't want to see them right now."

"Marlene won't let them in, don't worry," Mary assured her.

"They just keep pestering me," Lily went on as if she hadn't heard, "Always trying to bring everything back to Slytherin and who I'm friends with, who I hang out with," she sniffled noisily, "It's always about how I shouldn't forgive Severus, that his House is all evil and no good comes from being around him. They claim the attack is proof. I know they think they mean well, but it just feels like their trying to blame me for what happened; like they think if I had stayed away I never would have been attacked."

"It's not your fault," Mary shushed, "None of this is your fault."

A knock rapped at the door.

"Go away, Jessica!" Mary called out harshly, "We're in no mood for your prying tonight."

"It's not Jess," came the muffled reply from the other side of the door. The door opened a crack and a round faced head poked in.

Mary blinked, "Nesme? But who snuck you in?"

Nesme squeezed into the room and shut the door lightly behind her.

"I didn't need to be," she admitted awkwardly, back against the door, "Who's with me has clearance."

"Well who's with you?" Mary inquired, baffled. In her arms, Lily continued to cry quietly.

"Okay, before I tell you," Nesme started guiltily, "Let me explain…I'm an only child. My mam wanted more kids after me, but when I was born, there were all these complications. The doctors said it was lucky her and I survived, but well…they said the lengths they had to go to sasave us…my mam could never carry a child again…"

"Okay…" Mary nodded slowly, wondering where the Hufflepuff girl was going with this.

"When my mam found out she couldn't get pregnant again, she was devastated. She said she felt like a part of her was missing, like it had been taking away. She used to say the worst part was that no one ever asked her before they took it, it was her body and she never got a say."

Lily's crying petered out, the redhead turning to look up at Nesme.

"Anyway, what helped mam get through it was this older lady from our church. She had cancer when she was young and no one warned her what the treatments would do for side effects; she was left barren. It hurt, but she eventually learned to move on with her life. What helped my mom do the same was talking to someone with a similar experience. Someone who had felt the same loss of something. So…" Nesme hesitated, her hand on the doorknob, "I know you've been having a hard time with this Lily, so I thought maybe you'd benefit from the same thing."

Nesme opened the door and in walked the last person Lily expected.

"Professor Sprout?" Lily gasped.

Professor Sprout smiled warmly as she stepped into the room.

"Nesme told me you might need someone to talk to," she said. She nodded to Nesme who politely stepped out and shut the door.

"But," Mary stammered, "That means, you've…so you were…?"

Sprout nodded sitting down on the edge of the bed a sad smile on her face, "I was eighteen. I was walking home from a pub. No one found me until morning," she admitted mournfully.

Mary and Lily's faces filled with horror and pain at that admission.

"I'm so sorry," Lily apologized tearfully.

Sprout waved her off, "It's been in my past for a long time, my dears."

"How," Mary began hesitantly, "How did it…?"

"It's okay to ask questions, Mary," Sprout encouraged kindly, "That's why I'm here." She leaned back a little, gathering her thoughts for what was sure to be a painful journey through her memories.

"It was after Christmas," she began, "I had graduated Hogwarts that past summer and started an internship with a local Herbologists. Every Friday we'd all go out for a pint or two at whatever pub we fancied that week to celebrate the coming weekend. I usually left when all my friends did, but one night, I stayed behind. There was this gentleman you see, a coworker. We had steadily gotten to know each other over the recent months. He shared my interests in various plants and he seemed like a nice young man." A bitter look clouded her face for a moment.

"What happened?" Mary asked.

Sprout sighed, "We stayed late this one particular evening, long after all our coworkers had gone home. We spent hours just talking, sharing stories, everything was going swimmingly. At closing time, the bartender turned us out into the snow and we started heading home. I had managed to throw back one too many drinks that nights, so…he offered to walk me home instead of letting me apparate. I agreed."

Lily and Mary listened, rapt with attention and trepidation.

"I should have listened to my gut that night," Sprout continued, "I should have just gone home alone. But, I trusted him; he gave me no reason to. It never even dawned on me until months later that in all the time we spent at the bar that night, he never had a single drink of ale."

"He set you up," Mary whispered.

Sprout nodded, "Indeed. As I was saying, he walked me home. Well, I thought that's where he was taking me at least. It took a while for me to realize I didn't recognize the street we were on. When I asked what was going on he kept dismissing my concerns, like I was being paranoid, but I knew we weren't going the right way. I got angry…then  _he_  got angry."

Lily held her breath.

Sprout took a deep breath, "A shopkeeper found me in the morning in the alley besides her shop. Flooed St. Mungos right away. The healers say it was a miracle that I hadn't gotten frostbite from lying like that in the snow…the only thing that kept me from freezing to death that night was that he had thrown my clock over me before he left, to hide me from view."

Tears welled in Lily's eyes. Next to her, Mary's hands were covering her mouth in horror, her hands shaking.

"And the guy?" Lily asked, almost dreading the answer.

"They caught him," Sprout informed them, "He wasn't hard for me to identify and even drunk, I would never forget his face. His claims of it being a mutual encounter fell flat when faced with the evidence of how violently I was left there. Even the bartender could attest he had been sober when we left, so he couldn't claim he had been too drunk to check on me before he left and that I had somehow fallen or gotten hurt on my own. No, it was pretty obvious what had happened…not that it mattered much."

Lily frowned, "What do you mean?"

Sprout smiled at Lily, patting her knee, "Things were different back then, dear. Not as many laws existed for such things here in the wizarding world. For women, our bodies were less about our autonomy and more about our marriages prospects. Society's biggest concern was that I was no longer deemed eligible for marriage."

"That's horrible!" Lily cried.

"Yes, it was," Sprout said, "But it was how things were done. A case was all but won in the matter of him 'sullying' me for potential suitors. He was ordered to pay my parents a hefty fine and he did. But when it came to addressing that it had been by force, well…his family was more prominent, he could pay off whoever he saw fit. It was considered a sure deal that if I went to trial for it, I would lose. His barrister offered my family a deal instead…he could solve my parents' concerns over my marriage options by marrying me himself."

Lily and Mary exchanged horrified looks.

"What did you do?" Mary asked.

"I went to trial," Sprout said with a wry grin, "Lost of course. But it hardly mattered. His face had been over the cover of every paper in magical Britain during the trial. Sure he tried to pay to have it all bury away, but the damage was done. Deemed innocent or not, speculation would follow him the rest of his life…and it did. If I recall, he became quite the recluse after that."

"But you lost," Lily stated, "He was in the wrong and the court ruled in his favor. Weren't you devastated?"

"When I was young, yes," Sprout conceded, "But as time went on, I found small victories in my decision, even with the result. I called him out on his crimes in public, I didn't let him silence me. I showed everyone, including hopefully anyone who had been harmed like me that it didn't ruin me; only wound me. I'd like to think I gave courage to other people in my situation. The victory was acknowledging what happened instead of letting the shame he hoped to instill in me keep me quiet."

She paused, chuckling slightly, "I know I make it all sound so strong and brave, but don't let it fool you, I was inconsolable for a while when it first happened. I stayed in bed for weeks, I didn't eat…and then I did nothing but eat. I stopped wearing make-up, I shredded my clothes, and I even cut my hair. I was angry at what happened and took it out on myself."

Lily looked down at the scratches and healing scabs on her arms, "Professor, how…how did you deal with everything."

"Honestly," Professor Sprout said, "I gave up."

Lily blinked, "What?"

"I stopped putting on a brave face, Lily," Sprout admitted, "I quit fighting with how I felt and just…felt. I let myself be angry, be miserable. And honestly, it felt  _freeing_. This whole mess started because someone took away the control I had over myself, over my rights and my body and for once, it felt good to do what I wanted. I'd had enough of hearing people tell me to be strong or to hang in there. I was sick of people saying to be patient and keep my head up. I wanted to be upset; it was my right to be upset."

"You don't tell someone who's been stabbed to think positive," Sprout went on, "You don't tell someone who is terribly ill to put on a brave face or keep it together. You let them feel, express their pain. You let them heal. Being brave is a lie, Lily. It's what people tell you to do so that you mask your misery for their benefit, because your grieving makes them uncomfortable. There is no being brave, instead there's being human. Humans are made to break and heal and we can do it whether we smile or cry through the pain, so why not just cry if it feels best?"

She cupped Lily's face in her hands, "You've been putting on a tough act for these past months Lily because you thought that was expected of you. But you don't have to do that if you don't want to. It was your life affected, and your experience. You choose to cry or laugh now, no one else does. And crying isn't a weakness either."

"It's not?" Lily asked, her lip trembling.

Sprout shook her head, "No. Crying is good. You're still feeling, Lily. It shows that he didn't take away your heart, he didn't take away what made you yourself. If you're still feeling, then you're still you and he failed to take that from you."

Lily sniffled, tears welling in her eyes once more, "I hadn't thought of that," she admitted.

"That's okay," Sprout said, "It took me a while to realize it myself when I was your age. Now listen to me, both of you," she added, addressing Mary, "Things are difficult for you right now, I won't deny that. However, you don't have to deal with it alone. If you ever get tired of being brave, my door is always open."

Without thinking, Lily threw her arms around Sprout's neck, hugging her tightly, hiccupping into her shoulder.

Not phased in the slightest, Sprout patted her back comfortingly, reaching over to grasp Mary's hand and giving it a friendly squeeze.

'Thank you,' Mary mouthed at her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly recommend you all check out the song "You don't know" by Katelyn Tarver. It inspired me in Sprout's advice to the girls. The truth is, sometimes pushing through grief isn't the answer. Sometimes healing means feeling and feeling hard; just letting it all out. The hurt, the rage, the betrayal and sadness, sometimes you need to express it in all it's unpleasant glory in order to release the negativity building up inside you. In college, when I first began to willingly discuss what happened to me years prior, I found comfort in the anger and anguish, in letting it out and making others realize it existed and that placating phrases and advice wouldn't make it easier for me. I raged at my mother once for having suspected what happened to me but never speaking out, I told her that while the culprit was family, I would never think of them without resentment, that I doubted I could ever learn to forgive when they never learned to regret. She let me unload all of it on her, and honestly when the red haze had cleared I felt better than I had in a long time. 
> 
> I decided on Sprout as a survivor of assault because she struck me as the sort to find strength in feeling rather than concealing. She's warm and open but honest and to the point. I also wanted to address the myth many still have in our society today that only certain types of women or people are susceptible to being sexually assaulted. People think the conventionally pretty girl in the skimpy skirt is the prime target of a rapist, when in reality, surveys taken of incarcerated rapists showed they targeted women based on whether they were alone or wore clothing easy to pull off (which included sweat pants and sweatshirts) and if they had ponytails or long hair that made them easier to grab. Many rape victims are randomly targeted. In the biography "Lucky" author Alice Sebold discusses how her rapist grabbed her simply because she was alone, completely random and even expressed dissatisfaction with his pick when he got a good look at her. 
> 
> I thought something Severus and Lily need to move on from their experiences is to know they are more than victims, they are survivors for still finding a way to live their lives after tragedy struck them. Seeing themselves solely as what their attackers made them won't help them get better; rather they need to see what they made themselves in the aftermath in order to find the power and will to go on. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me so far. Your reviews give me so much joy. 
> 
> Read and Review, please :)


	31. Could it be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus draws some startling conclusions and Potter and his pals hash out a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again with a mostly fixed computer and a heap of gratitude for my readers!
> 
> Don't be hating me, but I thought I had hit upload last week and turns out I didn't...so you get two chapters this week! Here's the first. 
> 
> Seriously, I have been getting so many updates for about the amount of follows I have gotten this week.
> 
> I can't tell you how awesome it makes me feel to know so many of you have such faith in me.
> 
> So not much to say before this chapter gets underway, let's get on with the show!

* * *

 

Severus sat under a tree by the lake, relishing the last bit of warm weather remaining until spring. Needing only a cloak at minimum for warmth, he sat with his legs sprawled out in front of him, a book in his lap as he leaned back against the tree's sturdy trunk.

It was his and Lily's favorite spot on the school grounds. Lily had picked it out their first year. She said it was due to the perfect amount of both sunlight and shade it provided, just enough to warm you, but also capable of keeping you from a sunburn. She also claimed the grass was the softest and plushest here, the view provided them a perfect seat to the lake and its entire splendor. That's what she said anyway. However, Severus wondered if her choice in hangouts was more tied to how much it reminded them both of their spot back in Cokeworth, the shelter under the willow tree just on the edge of the riverbed. Considering such a though brought back many memories of their time spent together, though now without the rose-colored glasses.

He now saw his former friendship with Lily for what it was, imbalanced. While he and Lily both clearly valued each other, their interactions often strained, their discussions combative and narrow minded. Regardless of who was wrong at any given time, they were never on even ground with one another, both manipulated by the words of others and a mutual desire to fit in, though for very different reasons.

Lily had wanted to prove she belonged to the world of magic and thus had rallied against any sign of pureblood bigotry to the point that she let Gryffindor bias sway her to associate any hint of Slytherin with a hidden agenda of discrimination and inequality. It was why she had begun to bicker with Severus so easily and ignored his reasoning; she was already convinced that he agreed with the likes of Malfoy and Avery.

Severus desired more than anything to show he was better than the likes of his drunken muggle father, stronger than that and more worthy of recognition than bullies like Potter and Black who had the world handed to them simply for what their last name was. He started much of his talks with Lily already border lining on hostility, because subconsciously, he worried she too wanted to deprive him of a place in the wizarding world, condemning him to the squalor his father found for himself as a powerless muggle.

As much as Severus put Lily on a pedestal, he was beginning to see there were flaws all around her, ones he himself shared. She was stubborn and easier swayed than she would admit, as was he, both eager to prove they belonged in some fashion that they fell for paltry reasoning and empty promises, become susceptible to rumors and gossip that they once thought themselves too mature to get caught up in or believe.

While Severus was more open minded to the many pathways magic could go, the dangerous and advantages of both light and dark, Lily clung to the typical righteous mindset that there was only good and evil, right and wrong. For her, the idea that morals or ethics could become somewhat murkier was unfathomable. It made her far more judgmental and self-righteous than Severus had ever been willing to admit, too clouded by his awe and admiration of her to see she was shaking her head and sticking it in the ground to avoid the truth just as her housemates were in regards to anything Slytherin.

For years, Severus blamed all disagreements they had on outside parties, typically Potter. In his mind, it was Potter's fault Lily thought dark magic all evil; he must have been poisoning her mind since day one. It was Potter's fault she couldn't see the toerag was just as bad as Avery was because he scampered off before Lily could see the extent of Potter's bullying. Now Severus realized that it was Lily herself—and he as well—to blame for their arguments. She was hotheaded and stubborn, he bitter and condescending. Lily was human, prone to mistakes like unfair generalization of Slytherin over the actions of a few, just as Severus had with Gryffindors thanks to his own experiences.

Now that he was older and the much more aware of the imperfections in his and Lily's past friendship, his memories of their spot by the river changed drastically. The river he used to envision as pristine and sparkling was in reality dirty and polluted by years of runoff from the mill, the unspoken reason they never swam in it. The grass they dozed on had been littered with burnt out end of fags people smoked and threw out of their cars as they drove past, left sizzling among half empty and broken beer bottles. The willow tree, though picturesque and lovely to look at, dripped sap that clung to their hands and clothes, always a hassle to wash off and Severus rarely had much success with his family's limited utilities for cleaning anyway.

As much as they time spent together had been cherished by Severus, he couldn't deny that he oftentimes let his happiness end up romanticizing reality into something cleaner, purer, and more habitable than the rocky friendship they truly had.

Severus smiled wistfully. In a way he was glad he and Lily opened their eyes to what their relationship was actually like, as it meant they now had opened the path for communication and understanding, something they had lacked before. Severus only wished these new realizations hadn't come at the cost of Lily's safety and wellbeing. As much as he tried not to think it, he sometimes wished they had never worked things out if it meant the attack on Lily and Mary never happened.

He knew Lily would scold him for thinking such as she was too self-sacrificing, too willing to give up part of herself if it meant she could reconcile with him. Lily truly did have flaws, but the fact remained she was above all a loving, giving person, a trait that drew him to her to begin with.

Severus sighed, shaking his head as if to somehow dispel his depressing thoughts. Marcus wanted him to work on his pessimism and negativity, especially now that Lily needed a friend to lean on who could focus on her instead of themselves. Severus had Marcus to be there for him when his PTSD triggered uneasiness or anxiety in him and Simone and Thea were surprising good friends to have when times were tough. He had also spent years compartmentalizing his thoughts and feelings for when he had a more ideal time to deal with them and had learn some coping skills years ago. On the other hand, a loving family and the security that came with it shielded Lily from many hardships so she lacked the coping skills needed for a true crisis. Frankly, it was a crime that any child, man, or woman should need coping skills for attempted rape.

Severus could understand that hardship was everywhere. There would be violence, there would be pain, but he still felt that out of all the bitter realities out there, it was still unimaginably foul that sexual assault existed. Hell from what Marcus told him; even harden criminals and murderers despised sexual offenders as nothing but animalistic and depraved cretins.

As long as such terrible atrocities existed, there would be people like Lily in need of support and compassion and Severus would be damn if Lily didn't get just that when she needed it most. He would be there for her. He would listen to her when she needed to vent, support her decisions to seek help from Professor Sprout, and he would respect her wish to be alone when she desired solitude. Respect above all was something he would give to her in spades, because she needed to know that as a person she had an inalienable right to it and that nothing she had said or done warranted Avery disrespecting her privacy or her bodily autonomy.

Severus smoothed his hand over the page he had been trying to read for the past ten minutes. His thoughts were wandering so much lately and it was cutting into one of his favorited past times; reading ahead to practice new material before professors assigned it. Currently he was reading next week's scheduled chapters in Transfiguation. It wasn't one of his stronger subjects so it helped to be thorough.

Now in their sixth year, they were ready to learn about animagus transformations in theory. It mostly consisted of the history of the ability such as when the first wizard did it, as well as the laws revolving around it and the steps taken legally to obtain ones license to become one. Their books gave a brief synopsis of some of the required steps to actually transform, but kept the descriptions sparse, most likely to prevent students from attempting it early (which would also mean illegally).

As it was, McGonagall would most likely be steering clear of any actual directions on that process due to her own houses penchant for rule breaking mischief; Severus knew she saw the gleam in Black's eyes when they mentioned the transformation at the start of term. Not that her discretion would do any good; if a student truly wanted to become an animagus, Severus knew for a fact that several biographies of famous animaguses were located in the library, detailing the witch or wizards own lengthy process in becoming one. Surely, someone dedicated and talented could accomplish the task without legal assistance.

Severus froze, a worrying thought entering his head. Could it have happened already? Just about any subject was available in the library so long as it fell under light magic, and he knew that the restricted section was no obstacle for Potter and his friends with that blasted cloak. Severus brushed off the hypocrisy of his anger over their rule breaking, ignoring the voice in his head reminding him he had sneaked into the restricted section many times himself. That was beside the point; he knew they could find access to the needed books and supplies to accomplish the feat of being an animagus if they so desired. The question was had they?

Looking back on it now, the glimmer in Black's eye in their first class with McGonagall hadn't exactly looked like his usual brand of gleeful excitement. No, that usually gave him a wild, wide-eyed appearance, like a puppy that had spotted its favorite chew toy. It wasn't the look of excitement he had when tormenting Severus either; that brand of enthusiasm came with a hard, sinister level of malice and joy that made his eyes seem mad and bestial almost. No, what Severus had saw that day in class was more of a…smug satisfaction. A sense of accomplishment almost, one that he was dying to share with others but unable to. It was the self-serving, proud sort of look of a person wore thinking about a well-kept secret.

Severus thought back to his many encounters with the Marauders. A third of them were a driven bunch when they wanted to be—Peter usually just along for the ride as he failed in all things academic. While Potter and Black were show offs and slackers, they could earn a fair and decent grade when they put their minds to it; Potter's Transfiguration grades were proof enough. Therefore, if they truly wanted to be animaguses, it would hardly be a struggle with their brains and determination—as well as sheer bullheadedness—combined.

Potter and Black called Lupin 'Moony' from time to time, if Severus recalled. Now that he knew of Lupin's condition, it was clear the nicknamed referenced the creature he turned into each full moon. What did that mean for their other nicknames? Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs…was it possible those codes stood for something more than just comradery?

Wormtail…a tail like a worm. That meant a rat, right?

Realization hit Severus like a brick; the rat Potter brought to the trial!

"Hey Snape!" Simone plopped down suddenly besides Severus, nearly scaring him witless.

"Easy, Mr. Jumpy," Simone teased, "Lost in thought were you?"

"You could say that," Severus said, closing his book. He would keep his suspicions to himself for now, Simone's hatred of Potter and Black was almost as fierce as his own was. However, it was far less restrained and subtle. The confident and proud girl would most likely confront them in a heartbeat if she suspected them guilty of being unregistered animaguses. Best to stay quiet for now until he had real proof.

"What are you reading?" Simone asked, picking up the discarded book. Carefully thumbing through the pages, she managed to land exactly on the chapter Severus was reading without need for a bookmark, a skill Severus had come to notice about Simone during recent study sessions. It was almost as if she could sense where someone's eyes had last been in the worn out pages.

"Animagus, huh?" Simone observed, "We covered that last year. It was a breeze to go through, just essays on ethics and legality. Most of the class was disappointed we didn't actually learn how to become one, but frankly it would be a waste on most of those halfwits. Half of them behave like animals already; they don't need to turn into one to accomplish such levels of slovenly, uncouth behavior."

"You've never wanted to be one?" Severus asked distractedly. His mind was still stuck on the Marauders. Aside from the joy of breaking the rules, what could they possibly gain from turning into animals? There weren't many opportunities during the day for Potter and Black to sneak off to transform, being busy with Quidditch and classes and all. So why risk discovery to be something they couldn't do much with during their school years?

Simone shook her head, "Not really. I suppose I'm curious to see what form I would take, but chances are it would be a snake, which is a level of irony I would utterly loathe. Either that or a dog, and then people would think calling me a bitch far more accurate and gratifying."

"Sim says I would be a chipmunk," Thea said with a smile, "Apparently I'm 'squeaky' enough for it."

"Squeaky and adorable," Simone corrected, "Well not that it matters anyway. While I'm sure it must be fun to turn into an animal, with all the effort it takes to do so, most people don't even bother. In fact, the majority of registered animaguses became one for a purpose deemed useful or advantageous for them."

"Really?" Severus asked, head popping up.

Simone nodded, "Yeah it says it all right here in the book. People usually dedicate that time and effort to becoming one for a specific reason. With all that could go wrong it isn't a subject a person wanders into or takes lightly. You have want it enough to take the risks. Most use it for covert things like spying or for protection from muggle detection like in the Babbity Rabbity tale," she handed Severus back his book, pulling out a nail file and grooming her finger nails.

"Others have found in useful in research such as Magical Creature care, as an animal form soothes Unicorns and what not more than people," Thea added.

"Magical creatures?" Severus's eyes grew wide. That's it! That's why they did it. It all made perfect sense now. Lupin claimed he tended to back down to his friends because they accepted him, but that never truly added up. Dumbledore had accepted him first and what 's more, the headmaster had helped him attend school. Shouldn't Lupin have more loyalty to the one who risked it all for him, then?

There was also the case of the 'prank' Black played on Severus. As obviously dangerous and life threatening as it had been to Severus and even Lupin, Black himself seemed confident that all that would come of it was a simple scare. Black must have been sure he or Potter could pull Severus out in time, but why would they have such faith in themselves against the speed of a werewolf? Unless they could turn into animals and head off the beast! That must have been it. Black planned to distract Lupin while Potter raced in to save the day and his own ass from expulsion.

They became animaguses to soothe the beast inside Lupin during the fully moon. It was well proven that werewolves rarely attacked other animals, even for food, the twisted mechanism of their curse driving them to crave the flesh of the human race they once were a part of. Therefore, Potter and his friends spent time with Lupin as animals during the full moon.

Was that why Lupin was such a pushover? Because he felt indebted to them for going so far as to spend time with his cursed form? Did they really let the gratitude of their gesture hang over his head to the point where he compromised his own feelings to submit to them?

Severus wasn't sure why that bothered him so much. He cared little for Lupin and while his hatred for the boy had dwindled down to a quiet dislike, he certainly didn't want to befriend the boy. He…tolerated him at best.

However, there was something unpleasant about the implications of Lupin's complex friendship with Potter and the others. A give and take that favored one side far more than the other; a group of many benefiting off the back of one. It was too much like his repertoire with Malfoy and Avery for his liking. Sure, Potter and Black may not mean to take advantage of Lupin in such a manner, their effort to be animaguses spoke of how much he meant to them. But their arrogance and ignorance allowed them to completely overlook just how much Lupin caved to their demands rather than have a voice of his own. It was…unpleasant to think about.

Simone nudged him, "You okay? You have a rather scary expression on your face right now. It's freaking Thea out."

"It is not," Thea denied, though she did look distinctly concerned.

"It's nothing," Severus assured them, "Just thinking about something. Don't worry about it."

"It wasn't Potter and his friends, was it?" Thea asked, a frown settling over her face, "I told Lupin off so they better leave you alone."

"It's nothing," Severus insisted, "Trust me, you set him straight."

Simone snorted, "Yeah sure, this pipsqueak totally strikes fear in the hearts of many."

"Hey!" Thea pouted, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Simone held her hands up placatingly, "I'm just saying; you're not exactly the most intimidating person out there. You're like what, five feet just barely? You practically fit in my pocket."

"Size doesn't matter!" Thea argued, her face turning red in embarrassment.

Tuning them out, Severus looked towards the castle. He would need to have a talk with Lupin at some point. Not that he sympathized with the boy, but situation with his friends needed to stop. Clearly, Lupin didn't enjoy the state of things and letting his friends run wild put others in danger, especially if they were apparently playing with a fully grown werewolf at night.

While Lupin had kept his promise and his friends now left Severus alone in Lupin's presence (or Lily's), they still took cheap shots at him in the halls or when leaving the classroom, tripping jinxes and stinging hexes that would be hard to outright prove were them.

Severus would need to see Lily too. Respecting her request to privacy, Severus only spoke to Lily when she sought him out, taking note of her more apparent discomfort around boys. Ever since the incident at Hogsmede, she oftentimes kept to the company of girls, forming a sort of shield around her to avoid being too close to anyone. Even Simone and Thea had taken to standing guard by her in the hallways whenever they weren't watching over Severus to keep his housemates at a distance.

Potter had taken notice of Lily distancing herself from others. The fool had gone around like a wounded puppy whenever he failed to get her attention these days, making the situation about himself when Lily was the one suffering.

Therefore, Severus kept a respectable distance whenever necessary. He still walked to classes with Lily, but only linked arms like old times if she wished it. He only sat next to her if she requested it. Of course, she always requested it.

Despite her increased discomfort towards the male persuasion, Lily actually hadn't backed away too much from her closeness to Severus. While he now waited for her to make the first move, Lily still clung to him, hugged him, and chatted with him like always. He couldn't exactly figure out why he was an exception to her rule; if anything he thought he might serve to remind her of that terrible day on the train as he was there. But if Lily wanted his company, he would take it and relish it.

"See," Simone's voice pulled Severus from his thoughts. Looking over, he found Simone standing straight up, her arms outstretched to the sides in demonstration. Beneath her cloak, a lump had risen up on her back, her hood over the top of it instead of her own head. A pair of feet barely hung out the bottom of the cloak.

"You're so tiny I can wear you and it's hardly noticeable," Simone declared to Thea.

"This doesn't change my point," came Thea's muffled reply, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

"Wise words, Twain," Simone teased, "But I don't think that fight is much of a challenge when it's a Doberman against a Pomeranian."

"You take that back!" Thea said furiously, kicking her feet under the cloak.

"Ow, ow! Quit it," Simone cried, getting nailed with a well-aimed kick to the back of her knee, "Fine, I take it back. I take it back!"

"Can't say I find this behavior very refined," Severus drawled, picking up his book.

He began his trek up the hill back towards the castle, "You two coming?"

Simone scampered up the hill after him, Thea still tucked away under her cloak.

As they reached the front steps, Hagrid came lumbering by, probably planning on talking with Dumbledore about something.

"Well 'ello, Sev'rus," the half-giant greeted kindly, "headin' inside?"

Severus nodded cordially, "Yes, it was beginning to feel chilled."

Hagrid nodded, "It is getting' a bit nippy out, isn't now? Well you best get on inside, wouldn't want to catch a cold, now would you?"

With a wave of his large arms, he waved Severus passed him, standing to wait for the other students who had gone outside to pass him by.

Several students greeting him with 'how do you do's and 'hello's, all of them quite accustom to the massive, jovial man.

"How's it going," Simone greeted casually, tipping an imaginary hat.

"Goin' well, thank you," Hagrid said with a nod, completely oblivious to the pair of legs sticking out the bottom of Simone's lumpy cloak.

 

{page break}

 

James and Sirius sat on the sill of a window overlooking the courtyard, staring down at the people milling about below. In the next window over, Peter hung gracelessly over the sill on his stomach, arms hanging down out the opening in a lazily fashion.

"I don't like it, Padfoot," James muttered, looking down into the courtyard, "They're too close to one another now."

He was talking of course about Snape and Lily practically attached at the hip since they returned from break and currently wandering about in the courtyard at that very moment.

James frowned as he watched Lily grab Snape by the hand, pulling him over to a bench to sit. The lovely redhead pulled out a notebook James recognized from Potions class and began flipping excitedly through it, talking rather animated to the sullen boy.

"It just doesn't add up," Sirius agreed, "I thought she was through with his sorry ass after what he said to her last year."

"Well he did save her on the train," Peter pointed out timidly.

"That doesn't change what a slime ball he is, Wormtail," Sirius admonished, "I mean what, he saves her life and she think she has to forgive him in order to show gratitude for it? Couldn't she have just said a simple 'thanks' and washed her hands clean of that creep."

Mary walked past them, her arms laden with books.

"Need any help there, MacDonald," Sirius offered charmingly.

Mary's eyes swept over Sirius coldly, "No thank you," she said with a sniff, hurrying on her way.

Sirius tilted his head in confusion, "Weird, I could have sworn she fancied me last year."

"Forget about that, what about Snape?" James snapped, "It isn't like him helping her proves he's change or anything. He was just at the right place at the right time. He's still a smarmy, slimy, nosey, sniveling, rotten prick."

"He probably just got mad because Avery touched Evans before him," Sirius said wisely.

James threw his hands up, "I know! He thinks he owns her; he makes me sick. Do you see how he tries to get in the way of me talking to her? He's probably the reason she keeps turning me down, because he's making her do it. He's preventing her from having any sort of love life."

"Yeah, that must be it," Sirius muttered sarcastically, but the tone was lost on James.

Peter leaned forward to join in their conversation, clumsily almost falling out the window, "You know, I heard that Snivellous arranged the attack on Evans just so he could swoop in and play hero." His eyes lit up, desperate to say anything that would win their approval.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Mate, you heard that from  _us_."

"Oh right," Peter said, deflating.

"But that doesn't make it any less of a possibility," James announced, "I mean think about it: Snivellous says something absolutely  _un-for-givable_ and Evans refuses to put up with him anymore. She swears him off for good because he proved what sort of person he is. Then conveniently there's an attack on Evans on the train—by none other than Snivellous's Death Eater pals might I add—and he just  _happens_  to show up and stop them?!"

"Certainly is a rather heroic way to get back in her good graces," Sirius mused.

Peter pursed his lips, thinking, "But wait, didn't Avery almost kill him? That doesn't seem like a very logical plan."

"Well of course they botched their plan up; they're stupid Slytherins," James explained, "They were probably just supposed to fire off a few hexes, let Snape get in some good shots and then run away letting him look the hero."

"Either way, it's the perfect recipe for forgiveness in Evans' eyes," Sirius surmised.

They observed the pair seated on the benches below. Snape was explaining something as he scribbled notes in Lily's notebook, Lily leaning into his side. James scowled heavily as Lily's radiant smile got bigger and she rested her chin on his shoulder, peering over it down at his writing.

The closeness infuriated James. He wasn't so thickheaded as to not have noticed Lily withdrawing somewhat from other's presence lately, especially boys. It wasn't like she jumped away when guys approached or ran off scared, but there was a wariness in her gaze now when boys spoke to her, a look in her eyes like she was trying to assess their intentions. She politely refused to go anywhere with a boy even for studying unless a few of her closest friends came too.

Snape was often a part of this escort system. When the head boy came to pull Lily out of class to assist him with corralling some unruly second years who got into a water fight with Peeves, she adamantly insisted Mary and Snape come with her. What 's more, the professor allowed it

"We need to keep an eye on him," James declared, "See what he's up to. There's no way he's changed his ways."

Lily reached over and took one end of the notebook, her hand covering Snape's. The small smile that came over Snape's face rankled James further.

"He needs to be taken down a notch too," he added.

Sirius grinned, "I'm all for that."

Peter fidgeted nervously, "But guys, what about Moony? He made us promise."

Sirius stroked his chin in thought, "If I recall his exact words were that he doesn't want to  _see_  us going after Snivellous."

Peter frowned, "That's not what he said—"

"Right!" James jumped in, cutting Peter off, "So we just need to not get caught. I mean, it's work out for us so far. As is, Remus is probably more worried about upsetting Lily than harming Snivellous. Can't say I blame him; I would never want to upset such a lovely girl."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

' _Don't you piss her off every time you see her?'_  Sirius wondered.

"But if Moony finds out, won't he be upset with us?" Peter pointed out.

James threw an arm over Peter's shoulder, "Look, I promise we won't get caught. If anything, we're doing this for Remus."

Peter blinked, "How so?"

James smirked, "Think about it; suddenly he's through with messing with Snivellous. I bet you anything that he's doing this because he's scared Snape will reveal his secret. The creep's practically a celebrity since his stunt on the train; I doubt Dumbledore's threat to expel him if he blabs holds much weight anymore. The board of governors won't let him kick out a hero." He sneered at the last word.

"That's right," Sirius agreed, glowering at the thought of sneaky Snivellous having anything over his friend. He'd nearly lost Remus's friendship last year, he wasn't about to lose it now because of Snape, "That bastard must be holding his secret over his head. We need to keep an eye on him to ensure he keeps his mouth shut."

"And if he starts to get cocky, we'll show him you can't mess with our friends and get away with it," James added fiercely.

"And he's definitely getting too cocky," Sirius commented, "He thinks having clean hair and white teeth somehow makes him less scum than he is?" In truth, it bothered Sirius that some of the girls around school had begun to take notice of Snape's improved looks. Adding to that his status as a 'hero' and some girls were making goo-goo eyes at him when he walked past, caught up in some hero worship of a person Sirius felt entirely undeserving of it.

Peter looked between his friends, weighing their words, "Well…if it's for Remus, I suppose it's okay." The sandy haired boy  _was_  the nicest to him out of his friends and he hated seeing Remus upset.

"That's the spirit," Sirius said, slapping Peter on the back, "The Marauders watch out for their own!"

They continued to watch Snape and Lily interact. Eventually, Simone and Thea joined them along with that chubby Hufflepuff girl they often enjoyed for company. Sirius couldn't recall her name, and frankly he didn't care.

The newly arrived group took up a conversation with the mismatched pair the Marauders were spying on and soon, Snape and Lily rose from their seats and followed the trio out of the courtyard.

Seeing Lily link arms with Snape as they left had James seeing red.

"There's a Slug Club party on All Hallows Eve," James began, "Slughorn wants it to combine wizard traditions with muggle Halloween ones."

Sirius raised a brow, "Feeling festive suddenly, Prongs?"

"Don't you see?" James questioned, turning to face his friends, "Muggles wear costumes on Halloween. Slughorn wants people to feel free to dress up."

"Old Sluggy better not invite any vampires then," Sirius said with a chuckle, "I doubt they'd appreciate seeing students dressed like them."

Peter snickered into his hands.

"You're not getting it!" James growled, "Snivellous and Lily are sure to attend. If we're in costume, who's going to know it was us who pranked him?"

Peter's eyes lit up in realization, "Brilliant, James!"

"One problem, Prongs," Sirius pointed out, "We're not invited; only Remus is. Dumbledore may have overlooked the shack incident, but Sluggy took it a tad more personal."

"Whatever happened to Snivellous never seemed to bother him before," James grumbled, "But it doesn't matter. People will be arriving to the party in costume, right? Once they enter the party and announce who they are, people will just associated them with the costume they wore, mask and all. So we hide under my cloak and when some poor saps come out for a bit of fresh air, we stun them and steal their costumes!"

Sirius considered this, "That could work; we'd just have to make sure the ones we grab have really concealing costumes."

"Trust me, the plan can't fail," James said confidently, "We sneak in under the pilfered disguises, prank Snivelly, and bugger off. We'll be back to our dorm before Remus returns from the party. No one will ever know it was us."

Sirius's mouth spread into a wicked smirk, "I'm in. Come Friday, Snivellous is going down."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that for a chapter?
> 
> Severus is starting to put some things together about the secrets of the Marauders. The question is, will he confront them?
> 
> I felt like giving Peter some thoughts of his own, a lot of stories tend to portray him as just a tag along and hardly mention him at all as having his own thoughts and opinions until he begins to betray the Potters. I felt that even as a tag alone, Peter must have some things he at least privately disagrees with. I also wanted to high light his friendship with Lupin as something he holds dear. Keep in mind Peter is not brave and bold like his friends or typical Gryffindors. For him to willing spend time with Moony during the full moon must surely be because of more than a wish to follow James and Sirius. He must care deeply about Remus, probably seeing some kindred spirit in him due to them both being outcasts that have a hard time making friends.
> 
> Read and review friends!


	32. Party Hearty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party preparations are looming on the horizon and some ne'er do wells are snooping as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! I hope you've all had a lovely week. 
> 
> I have to say I am LOVING all the reviews I am getting. Especially the critical feedback I have been receiving from duj, who has given me some very good points to think about. I promise I will provide better explanation in this story for why Simone holds such progressive ideals in regards to gender and sexual harassment in such a un-progressive era (I mean, we were starting to more towards progress, but this was a period when spousal rape wasn't even acknowledged as a thing). Simone will provide her reasoning for how she came to think about the importance of men's bodily autonomy the way she thinks about women's in regards to sexual harassment. Just bear with me until then :)
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, it's pretty tame.

* * *

"Sev, you have to come. Slughorn invited you personally."

Seated at their shared worktable, Lily was determined to win this argument she had started the moment Potions class had begun.

The redhead fixed her pleading eyes on her best friend, burning a hole in his head with her gaze as she continued, "Most Slug Club members get their invite by owl, but he sought you out to invite you in person. Clearly it's important you attend."

Severus continued to dice his potions ingredients methodically, looking about as interested in the conversation as a cow would be to hear philosophy.

"Clearly he only wishes to show me off to his friends in order to benefit from my hardships," Severus said flatly, lifting his cutting board to slide the diced and flobberworms into his cauldron, "My near death experience made the papers, so of course that's reason enough for him to parade around the fact that he's one of my teachers."

"Oh I'm sure that's not the only reason," Lily insisted, giving her potion a clockwise stir, "Maybe he is just finally recognizing your talents."

Severus snorted, "A year before a graduate? He has very short time left to try and make me any lasting connections that would lead to a lucrative career for me. No, I think he just wants to put me under a spotlight so that he may bask in it until the novelty of me wears off for everyone."

"I'd hardly call what you risked for me a novelty," Lily said sternly. She gave Severus's shoulder a gentle shove, "I'm serious. You being a good person isn't a passing trend and I think people are starting to notice what a wonderful person they've taken for granted."

Severus adjusted the heat under his cauldron, setting it to simmer. Seeing as they were the only ones to have already reached the last step before the potions were complete, it was a good time to hash some things out.

"Good and wonderful aren't mutually exclusive things, Lily," Severus explained, "Just because I'm no longer placing my eggs in a homicidal maniac's basket doesn't mean you can count me as pleasant or nice."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Ah yes, how could I have forgotten? You've got a reputation to uphold."

"Exactly," Severus agreed, "Just think what it would do to my good standing as a fearsome Slytherin if I started smiling at everyone and…and handing out candy or something?"

"More people might actually start to warm up to you and want to be your friend?" Lily suggested.

Severus gave her a deadpanned look, "Last thing I need is for the bumbling idiots of the school to start flocking to me like a flock of pigeons. I prefer to keep my circle of acquaintances—"

"Friends," Lily corrected.

"—to a small number of intellectuals with whom I can actually have decent conversations with," Severus finished.

"I'm not asking you to become bosom buddies with everyone," Lily pointed out, "I just think it would be better for you socially if you were at least civil with people."

"Of course," Severus said sarcastically, "You're absolutely right, Lily. In fact, why don't I go over to Potter's table and get into a rousing discussion on Quidditch? Why…he might even convince me to join my house's team. That would be a treat; walking around with missing teeth and numerous head injuries that ensure I can't even spell my own name let alone remember!"

"Perhaps having a head that's empty is better than one stuck up an ass," Lily muttered. Seeing Severus glaring at her she offered him a sweet smile.

"You don't want flobberworm guts in your hair," Severus warned, fingering his dirty cutting knife menacingly, "I assure you, it will not come out easily."

"I'm only teasing," Lily assured him, "Anyway, I'd prefer if you didn't become one of those musclebound jocks. I even like arguing with you better than a single discussion on Quidditch."

"Really?" Severus asked, "I thought you hated all our arguments."

Lily nodded, "I did. I still do; no one ever likes to argue with friends. And don't get me wrong; all those times before when we argued I didn't approve of the side you were on. I despised it, in fact. But even when we were at our worst with each other, it was still a discussion. It was stimulating, kept me thinking. We weren't just bouncing the same simple minded opinion back and forth at each other in agreement with nothing to be gained from it other than an echo chamber."

"There's nothing wrong with Quidditch," Lily went on, "I love the sport as far as watching, but it's such a mundane topic off the field. It's much better to see than hear about. Listening to Potter's nonstop chatter in the common room even nearly turned me off the sport entirely. When you and I talk though, you actually make me think. It's not always things I particularly like thinking about, but at the end of every conversation, I still walked away feeling like I had gained something new from it. Maybe some new detail, perhaps some unpleasant truth, but either way my mind was fuller for it."

Severus stared at Lily in awe, "That's…that's rather kind of you to admit."

Lily smiled, "I mean it. Really, I do."

Severus let the tiniest, almost unnoticeable smile flit across his face, "Thank you."

"But don't think this means I want us to argue all the time," Lily warned, "Debate is fine as long as we can hold our tempers, but I don't want to fight with you like we used to."

"No promises," Severus said smugly, "I'm pretty stubborn."

Lily side eyed him shrewdly, "Prat," she muttered, "Now, we got off track; I was trying to talk you into the party."

Severus sighed, "Lily, must we focus on this?"

"We must," Lily stated, "Because I'm going to the party and I want my best friend to be there with me in order to share in one of the best holidays of the year. It's when I feel…I don't know….the most magical."

"That's the muggle in you talking," Severus pointed out, "All that witching hour nonsense and ghost stories. In the wizarding world, all the holidays of the year have very powerful and magical connotations to them."

Lily pursed her lips, "Well it's the first big holiday of the school year," she said haughtily, "during my favorite season, too. So I want to spend it having fun with you."

"And you think being stuck in a crowded room with loud music and pretentious people is fun?" Severus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Lily readied her potion for final inspection, "It won't be that crowded. Slughorn always plans for plenty of space to 'wine and dine', so to speak. And you and I normally stay close to talk to each other anyway, so who cares if the music is a little loud?"

Severus hadn't thought of that. With the music blaring and people milling around a crowded room, he and Lily would need to stick close together to even hear each other. It would be nice to have an excuse to be right by her side. Just the two of them…their shoulders touching….close enough he could smell her shampoo…

"Don't you want to spend Halloween with me, Sev?" Lily asked with a well-executed pout.

Severus found himself staring at that pouting lip; its full, pink plumpness messing with his head. Looking up slightly, he locked eyes with her lovely emerald ones, her eyelashes batting playfully as she tried to her hardest at bambi eyes.

Mouth dry, Severus stumbled over his words, shaking himself, "Um…well I….not that it wouldn't be truly— _truly_ —enjoyable to spend the evening with you, Lily, have you forgotten whom might be in attendance? Slughorn is my head of house. Neutral he may be when it comes to politics, that doesn't mean he isn't rubbing elbows with Wilkes and Rosier in order to get a taste of their wealth."

"But this is all too perfect, Sev," Lily whispered excitedly, leaning in real close as Slughorn began making his rounds to each table, "It's a costume party! We'll practically be in disguise. Only a few people will even know we're there!"

Lily put her hands together, "Please, Sev, please? I know I've been a little distance lately and I've spent a lot more time in my room than with you. I want to make up for that. There's honestly no one I'd rather spend Halloween with than you."

Severus closed his eyes, sighing, "You don't owe me any apology or compensation, Lily. I'm more than aware that things haven't been easy for you these past few weeks. All I want is for you to feel safe and happy."

"And I will," Lily pushed, "I will if you come to the party with me. Honestly, I'd feel better with you there, especially with everyone walking around hidden behind costumes."

Severus looked at Lily.

"You're not going to back down unless I say yes, are you?" he asked wearily.

Lily nodded, "That's right."

"Fine," Severus relented, "I'll go."

Lily clapped her hands together, "Yay! I have just the perfect idea for our costumes. I know you'll approve."

"I was under the impression the costumes were optional," Severus drawled.

"Not for us," Lily said firmly, crossing her arms and looking up at him smugly.

"I've signed over my free will by agreeing to this, haven't I?" Severus asked, shoulders dropping in defeat.

Lily smirked, patting Severus's shoulder, "Fear not, dear Severus, for I am a merciful master."

Slughorn made his way over to their worktable.

"Marvelous," he exclaimed, taking in each of their cauldrons in turn, "As usual, you two never fail to impress! Let's vial them up and you may be on your way."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said courteously.

Slughorn beamed at her, his bushy mustache twitching, "I trust I'll see you both at my party?"

Lily nodded, "Of course, Sir. We're looking forward to it."

Severus remained stoned faced.

Slughorn laughed, his belly shaking, "Wonderful! I hope to see you in costume. Now off you go."

Lily and Severus bottled their potions and brought them to Slughorn's desk to be graded. Cleaning up their workspace, the grabbed their books and wandered off into the hall.

Potter and Black watched them leave.

"Did you catch anything?" Black asked.

Potter shook his head, "Nothing. They whispered all of class. I knew we should have sat closer to them."

"Lily would have iced you with her glare if you tried sitting closer," Sirius pointed out, "She knows better than to trust us near Snivellous's cauldron."

Potter frowned, bringing his potion to the front with Sirius, "Well now what are we going to do? I was hoping to get some idea of what Snape's going to wear to the party so I know how to find him."

"You were probably also hoping to hear what sort of racy thing Evans might be wearing," Sirius teased, elbowing James in the side, "I've heard how muggle girl's dress on Halloween. It's all sexy cats and naughty nurses."

James shoved Sirius away with a huff, "You don't even know what a nurse is."

"It's like a healer right?" Sirius asked, "Anyway, I bet you can't wait to see what Evans comes up with."

"She would look gorgeous in just about anything," James said dreamily. Lily would surely pick something fitting of her beauty. Something regal, or impressive. Something that made her look like a star.

He could see her as dressed as the wife of Godric Gryffindor in elegant golds and crimsons, hair slightly curled and spilling out over a dress that showed off her collarbone and just the slightest hints of her shoulders, showcases her long and graceful neck. The skirts and petticoats would end just above the ankles so that when she walked, one would get a tantalizing glimpse of leg encased in silk stockings.

She could dress as a Veela or wood nymph, her unbelievably long hair falling around even longer limbs covered in translucent lace as fine as spider's silk, a glimmering white gown hugging her frame and making her skin glow with an ethereal quality.

James pictured Lily walking into the party in a modified version of his Quidditch uniform; pants replaced with a small pair of shorts, the boots ending in heels and the jersey form fitting to highlight her curves. On her back would be his name. Oh, what a thrill it would be for others to see her in it and know she had transfigured his own uniform to clad her body as a token of affection.

If things went well and James managed to abscond with a truly dashing costume from some sorry bloke, he could maybe ask her for a dance; woo her under the secrecy of a mask, only to later reveal himself and show they were perfect for one another all along.

Sirius eyed his daydreaming friend, "I get the distinct feeling what your imagining is less dirty and more pathetically loopy than anything."

"Oh hush up," James snapped, "Maybe they're still talking about the party; let's catch up and see what we overhear."

"Overhear about what?" Remus asked, coming up to them from his and Peter's table, "Who are you two talking about and why are you planning to eavesdrop on them?"

"Uh…Well Mary and Marlene of course," Sirius fibbed, his mind working quickly, "We wanted to go to the party Old Slughorn's having and we were hoping that they'd take us as their plus ones."

"Really," Remus inquired, not entirely believing them, "Marlene's not even in our class. She's a year above us."

"We were hoping that Mary would relay the message to her," James lied.

Remus looked back and forth between the pair, suspicious, "Well…I'd hate to burst your bubbles, but Mary isn't a member of the Slug Club and even though Marlene is, she wouldn't take either one of you to a funeral, let alone a party."

"She's just jealous of our far surpassing skills on the Quidditch pitch," James sniffed disdainfully. Marlene was the new captain of the team since the last one graduated and she had been cracking down hard on James and Sirius's shenanigans on the pitch.

"You should probably just forget the party," Remus told them, "I'm only going out of politeness. There's no reason you can't have a happy All Hallows Eve anyway. I'm sure the house elves would whip you up plenty of tasty treats. Anyway, Peter here appears to be struggling with his potion homework," he placed a kind hand on his shorter friend's shoulder, giving him a warm smile, "Normally I would be all too happy to help him, but I'm doing my rounds as prefect tonight. So I'm counting on you two to help him."

"More homework?" Sirius whined, dismayed.

Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius, "You know he'd do anything for you two if you asked," he reminded them.

"Alright," James complained, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "We'll help him. I swear you've been really mollycoddling him lately, Moony."

"He's been really struggling with classes this term," Remus insisted, "We owe it to him to help him succeed."

Peter looked up gratefully at Remus. Remus in turn patted his back.

"Let's get going, alright?" Remus turned to leave, Peter following after as he left the classroom.

"So much for following Snivellous and Evans," Sirius whispered.

"Don't worry," James said quietly, "There's still a few days before the party, we have time to figure out what they're going as."

"Moony's been getting awfully chummy with Wormtail lately," Sirius whispered back, his eyes fixed carefully on their friends' backs to ensure they wouldn't be overheard, "I'm worried Peter will start to have seconds thoughts about our plan; feel too guilty to hide it from Moony."

James shook his head, "We're doing this in part for Remus. If anything Peter's going to feel even more determined to protect Moony from slimy snakes like Snivvy."

Sirius grinned, "Good point. We'll just have to make sure we remind him how important it is to put Snape in his place before he gets too cocky and causes trouble."

Confident in their plans, the duo followed their friends, identical smirks on both their faces.

 

{page break}

 

"Hi, Severus," Mary greeted coming out of her herbology class just as the dark haired boy was walking by.

It was midway through the week and students were buzzing with excitement for the upcoming festivities. Most of the new muggleborns had never seen a wizarding Halloween before so they were over the moon to witness their first. Instead of pretending to be magic like they did as children, this year they actually were the witches and wizards they dressed up as in Halloweens passed.

The younger years were anticipating candy galore and a plethora of sweets and pastries at the Halloween feast Friday night, the healthier main courses competing with the far more tempting goodies of sugar. The older years were looking forward to a weekend without homework—as many professors expected the students to be waylaid by candy induced comas come Saturday morning—and the energy Samhain brought with it, their charms and spells vibrating with an untamed and exhilarating wildness on that special night like it had a mind of its own. Even if you never cast a spell, the tingling of it under your skin was thrilling.

"Hello, Mary," Severus nodded kindly to the curly hair brunette, "How have you been?"

"Been better," Mary admitted, falling into step beside him. She lifted a lock of her hair, showing Severus the leaves sticking out of it, "My flower sneezed just as I was pruning it."

Severus smirked, "Charming." Flicking his wand, the leaves untangled themselves from Mary's hair, fluttering to the ground.

"Thanks," Mary said gratefully, "So what are you up to, getting some fresh air?"

Severus held up a small pouch, "I asked Hagrid if he would take me around some of the perimeter of the forest to get some potions ingredients. It's not necessarily dangerous at the edge of the forest, but I didn't want anyone seeing me walking around by myself there and start spreading rumors that I'm up to no good."

Mary nodded, "Makes sense. So, I hear Lily convinced you to go to Slughorn's party."

"I was a contentious objector until the bitter end," Severus said mournfully, "But it's very hard to resist when she begs."

"I know, it's those puppy dog eyes," Mary agreed, "She really pulls at your heartstrings. But she means well. Really, I think you'll have fun on Friday."

"I hardly doubt that," Severus drawled.

"Well, let's think of some pros, alright?" Mary suggested, "For one, Slughorn is sure to have plenty of esteemed guest there, some of which you could get to know or be introduced to and hopefully get an apprenticeship or something."

"That's true," Severus conceded, "And frankly the most tempting reason to attend."

' _Aside from spending time with Lily,'_  he added in his head.

"Two, James and Sirius can't go," Mary continued, "and the only Slytherins in the Slug Club either don't care a lick about You-Know-Who or are too obsessed with appearance to risk making a scene in such a public place."

"Also a good point," Severus agreed.

"And three, wouldn't you rather be at a fancy party where everyone is expected to act sophisticated and dignified than in your common room surrounded by sugar-high, grubby fisted, screaming first years all evening?" Mary seemed rather proud of that point.

"Now  _that_ , I truly hadn't considered," Severus admitted, "I would rather choke on toadspawn than spend an evening with that sort of idiocy."

"See, it'll be fun," Mary surmised, "You should count yourself lucky; my evening's going to be spent listening to my dormmates go on and on about how sweets make you fat and sugar is bad for the skin and blah, blah, blah," she opened and closed her hand like a mouth talking.

"And then they'll be giggling over Witches Weekly's supposed love spells that apparently are at their most strongest on Friday. That will just lead Jessica and Mel to argue about which guy has the cutest eyes and what Witches Weekly's star signs predicted about how many kids they'll have," Mary rolled her eyes, "I may pay a prefect to turn a blind eye so I can sneak out and sleep in Marlene's dorm."

"You're not in the Slug Club?" Severus asked.

Mary shook her head, "Nope, never could get my grades high enough. Didn't you ever notice I wasn't there?"

"I was never very interested in the goings on of those events," Severus confessed. Normally he stuck to the corners, watching Lily socialize and waiting for her to come back over to talk to him.

"Would you be interested in going to the party?" Severus offered, "Technically we are each allowed a plus one. Lily would probably love having you there."

"Really?" Mary asked, her eyes lighting up.

Severus shrugged, "Why not?" He and Lily were only going as friends- he had to actively remind himself that it was  _not_  a date—so what was the harm in one more person?

"That would be great!" Mary cried, stopping Severus to grab his hand within her own. She squeezed his hand excitedly, "Thanks, Severus. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I would love to go!"

She let go of his hand, her cheeks flushed pink as she beamed at him, "I need to prepare a costume. Maybe Lily and Marlene can help me. What are you going as?"

"No clue," Severus replied, "Lily said it's a surprise." Lily intended to wait until before the party started to unveil hers and Severus's costumes, but she was confident Severus would like her choice. Severus honestly didn't know if this reassured him or worried him.

Mary grinned, "Sounds like she wants to avoid you seeing the costume and having second thoughts until the very last minute."

"That's what I'm worried about," Severus said, "She knows it would make me look like an insensitive git to wait until right before the party to decide I'm not going. She's working with the forces of guilt here and it puts me in a precarious position." He scratched his chin, "It's very Slytherin of her…"

A crash from behind them had both students looking over their shoulder. One of Professor Sprout's flowerpots had fallen off a windowsill. It rolled across the floor of the hall, the small, sentient plant inside helpless to stop its momentum.

Severus narrowed his eyes. Walking closer, he stopped the pot with the tip of his shoe. Carefully righting it, he glared off into the corner of the sill from which it had fallen.

"It was probably a cat," Mary said flippantly, "Look, there's one over there."

A familiar large beast of a cat sat adjacent to them, watching them intently.

"That's Amadeus, right?" Mary asked, coming over to pet the great hairy beast, "Simone did say he likes to wander while she's in class. He's certainly big enough to knock over a pot that large."

Severus stared at the cat in thought, "I suppose you're right."

"Whatever," Mary said with a dismissive shake of her head. With one last scratch under Amadeus's chin, Mary straighten up.

"Come on," she said, grabbing Severus's hand, "Let's go tell Lily the good news. She'll be happy we can all enjoy Halloween together."

She led a reluctant Severus away, the dark haired boy still peering curiously over his shoulder until they rounded the corner and disappeared from sight.

Back by the window, a deep exhale emanated seemingly from nowhere.

"That was close," James whispered from underneath his cloak, "I was sure Snivvy was going to find us."

"You almost got us caught, Prongs," Sirius hissed. He gestured at the pot Snape had put back, "What the bloody hell was that?!"

"I'm sorry!" James apologized, "I didn't mean to. I just slipped forward and bumped it." He scratched his head awkwardly, "I guess I sort of got caught off guard when he compared Lily to a Slytherin."

"Well try and keep it together," Sirius snapped, "Last thing I need is him catching us and blabbing to Evans; she'll run off and tell Remus for sure!"

"Um…guys," Peter whispered hesitantly. He tugged lightly on Sirius's sleeve.

"Not now, Wormtail," Sirius said, batting Peter's hand away.

"But guys," Peter pointed over to the corner, "Look."

Amadeus sat across from their hiding space, his big lily pad green eyes peering up at them eerily.

"I think it sees us…" Peter whimpered worriedly.

Sirius snorted, "Yeah right, it just heard us talking."

A crowd of students came bustling down the hall on their way to class, talking boisterously.

"Let's move over and keep quiet," James suggested, "It will lose track of where the sound came from."

Together, the shifted carefully and quietly over several paces, the sound of other people's laughter and yelling masking their foot falls.

Amadeus slowly rotated his head, following their every move. As they got about six feet down the hall, the cat got up and proceeded after them.

"It's following us!" Peter hissed in a panic.

"No way," Sirius insisted, "It's just a stupid cat. There's no way it can see through an invisibility cloak."

They began to run with the crowd, maneuvering serpentine through hustling bodies.

Looking back, they were dismayed to find the cat hot on their heels, weaving in and out of legs with ease.

"It does see us," James said in shock.

"Try and lose it," Sirius cried, his voice nearly lost over the voices of the rowdy students around them.

Breaking off from the crowd, they turned a corner sharply and duck down a stairwell.

"Is it still behind us?" Peter asked in worry, looking back.

"Don't know," James answered, craning his neck to see behind them.

"We must have lost it," Sirius said over his shoulder, "There's no way a stupid cat could—Look out!"

Preoccupied with looking back for the cat on their trail, the trio hadn't been paying attention to where they were running. Sirius warning coming too late, they collided with a suit of armor.

The resounding crash echoed up and down the halls as the three boys tumbled headlong into the armored suit, sending metal arms and legs flying haphazardly through the air and landing with an almighty clatter.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Professor Vector cried, emerging from her classroom in a flurry of sky blue robes, "Explain yourselves at once!"

Sprawled across the floor, James and Sirius were a tangled heap of limbs. Sirius arm was hooked at the elbow behind one of James's knees. A hollow armored arm was caught up under James's torso, the enchanted fingers drumming irritably on the floor in annoyance. A metal foot was propped up under Sirius chin, tapping in impatience on the floor.

A few feet away, Peter was face down on the ground, his knees tucked up under him and his butt in the air; the armored helmet sitting on his rear.

Several students poking their heads out around Professor Vector from her classroom giggled at the sight.

"We are in the middle of class!" Vector fumed, "How dare you cause such a scene."

"Sorry, Professor," James grunted, "One of us tripped and you know how it goes," he chuckled weakly, wiggling one arm free to prop his chin up in his hand as he looked up at her, "If one goes down, they take the others with them…"

"Yeah, our bad," Sirius added with a pained wince.

"I want you three to fix this immediately!" Vector demanded, "Without magic! And this evening I shall see you for detention for disrupting my class." She stormed back into her classroom, the door slamming behind her.

James and Sirius untangled themselves from one another with some muttered curses.

"Good thing she didn't notice your cloak," Sirius said, pointing to the rumpled fabric peeking out from underneath the torso of the armor.

"Yeah," James said, picking up an armored foot.

"At least she didn't assign detention for Friday," Sirius said with a grin.

James nodded, "And we got rid of that pesky…" he turned his head and trailed off.

Sitting at the top of the staircase watching them was that enormous cat. It stared down at them with wide, knowing eyes, and it's tail seemed to flick in amusement. Casually cleaning off a paw, it daintily rose to its feet and gracefully walked away, tail in the air.

"Bloody cat," Sirius growled.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got to love that Amadeus! He's based off my own Maine Coon, Pandora, who is a regular talker and mischief maker. 
> 
> So Revelry is coming up for our heroes, here's hoping it will go well. 
> 
> Read and review!


	33. Hallowed Grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween has arrived and our friends are in for one heck of a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!
> 
> Big thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! You all make this experience so much more enjoyable.
> 
> This chapter has no warnings really.
> 
> Also apologies for the fact that the Halloween chapter is coming when it's really close to Christmas in real life. If I had made a Halloween chapter during the right month, it would have required a sudden time skip that would have made no sense story wise.

* * *

Severus was in the middle of eating lunch while reviewing his Charms notes when Simone sat down beside him.

"So," she began, plucking an assortment of fruits and cheeses from the middle of the table, "Looking forward to tonight?"

"As much as one can when dragged kicking and screaming," Severus drawled, taking a bite out of his quiche.

Simone peeled her grapes with a wave of her wand, "Oh come on, surely you're excited to spend some time with Lily." She plopped a grape into her mouth and relished the taste on her palette, "Some quality time, dancing at a party. Just the two of you…"

"It isn't a date, if that's what you are thinking," Severus corrected, "We're just friends. Besides, Mary's coming."

Simone tilted her head, "Slughorn invited her?"

"I did," Severus said.

"Well that's kind of you," Simone offered, "But not very bright. Now you're a third wheel. They say three's a crowd you know; even with friends."

"I take it Nesme isn't joining you and Thea then?" Severus asked.

Simone shook her head, "Davis invited her to some party the Ravenclaws cooked up in their dorm. So me and Thea will be a party of two this evening at Slughorn's event. Suits us just fine. But you, my friend, you may have blew your perfect chance for a little romance."

"Lily wanted to go with her best friend and that's what I shall be," Severus said stiffly, "Besides, I'd have to be some sort of apish Neanderthal to not respect her boundaries after all she's been through."

"I'm not saying you should throw yourself at her," Simone said gently, "I just meant that all this time she has seen you as the perfect friend for her in all this. Maybe it is time show her you're perfect for her as more than that. Some compliments, some sweet words. A slow dance where she can feel like the world consists of only the two of you."

"I'm not exactly the most suave, if you haven't noticed," Severus pointed out.

"Lily doesn't want Mr. Suave, though," Simone told him, "She wants Mr. Considerate, Mr. Intelligent…Mr. Right." She paused, "Did that sound cheesy? It sounded extra cheesy to me."

Severus snorted, "Call yourself a muggle pizza then, because that was so cheesy I can smell it."

Simone rolled her eyes, chucking a grape at him, "Listen, all I'm saying is the party is a good time to lay down some groundwork for an actual future with your lady love. Is it so hard to be honest with her?"

"When there's a good chance she may reject me and leave my heart in broken shambles on the ground?" Severus asked, "Yes. She doesn't feel that way about me."

"Maybe not yet, but she could," Simone insisted.

Severus looked across the Great Hall at where Lily sat among her friends. Mary and she were locked in an enthusiastic discussion while two of their year mates listen on. Lily spied Severus and waved happily at him. Mary smiled while the other two girls scowled in his directions and turned away with their noses up.

"I'd really appreciate any conversation other than this one," Severus informed Simone.

Simone sighed, "Fine. So what are you dressing as?"

"No clue," Severus replied, "Lily's secret. How about you? A Vampire, perhaps?"

Simone huffed, her nose in the air, "I refuse to mock intelligent beings by imitating them for other's amusement.

"What about dressing up as Ministry officials?" Severus proposed.

"I said  _intelligent_  beings," Simone reiterated, "Those are fine."

"You have more respect for other magical races than our own, don't you?" Severus asked in amusement.

Simone crossed her arms, "It won't change until wizards respect other magical races."

Severus watched her, bemused, "Keep fighting the good fight, Serapeum."

"I intend to," Simone stated firmly. You act as if I  _won't_  be sneaking pamphlets into every pocket about the importance of ending Halloween creature mockery. Attending the party in Creature-Face is offensive. I mean what's next? Allowing people to dress up as minstrels again?" She frowned, "As it is, if anyone shows up with their face painted, I'm reserving the right to hex them cross-eyed. I don't care if they're dressed as a black cat."

"You never told me what you're going as," Severus reminded her.

Simone grinned, "A Venetian Clown. Thea's going as one too."

"Mary's going as an old fashion Parisian showgirl," Severus said, "The ones that do the Cancan. There's a few variations of the outfit that aren't so risqué and have long skirts and sleeves instead."

Simone nodded, "You're looking at a French girl; I know the ones you mean. The classier looking ones."

"Right," Severus agreed, "Mary's transfiguring her bed curtains for the ruffled effect she needs on the skirt."

"How very inventive," Simone commented. She dabbed at her lips with her napkin and pushed her finished plate away from her.

"Well I best be going," Simone said, standing up, "I need to find Thea. We have a lot to do in preparation for tonight. Tah." She waved her fingers at Severus before leaving the Great hall.

Severus settled in to pour over his Charms notes with renewed interest. Halloween was no reason to fall behind in schoolwork.

 

{page break}

 

"Any reason we're heading this way?" Severus asked disinterestedly, arms crossing over his chest as he skulked down the hall.

They were walking along the fifth floor corridor. Nowhere near Slughorn's office which served as the location for the party, Severus was more than a little confused.

"Because I couldn't bring you into the girl's dorm," Lily explained, carrying two wrapped bundles under her arms, "and if I sent you to change in your room, you might never have come out."

"You know me so well," Severus mused.

"Don't look so gloomy, Severus" Mary chided, her arms laden with her own costume, "Tonight's going to be fun."

"Somehow I doubt that," Severus said moodily.

"I think you'll change your mind when you see your costume," Mary sang.

"Here we are," Lily declared, bringing them to a stop in front of a large door.

"Lavender Lilac," Lily spoke to the door. There was a click and the door opened to reveal a massive bathroom with a large, pool-sized tub sunken into the center of the floor.

"The prefect's bathroom," Lily explained to her gaping friends, "Our little secret that I brought you here, alright?"

"This is where prefects bathe?" Mary gawked, walking into the room.

"If we want to," Lily said, closing the door behind her friends, "I don't like to go often because I don't like being in the bathrooms by myself too much these days and it would be weird to ask one of the other prefect girls to wait here while I bathe."

"And yet, you can bring more than one person in here," Severus observed, "I'm not sure what the founders were thinking, but this seems like an awful easy way for a prefect to get their girlfriend pregnant."

"Severus!" Mary scolded, a hint of a grin on her face.

Severus shrugged, "Just pointing out facts."

Lily waved her wand and turned a towel rack into a small table and set her bundles down on them, "Got the make-up, Mary?" she asked.

"Right here," Mary answered, lifting up a satchel.

Severus blanched, moving back a step or two towards the door, "I never agreed to wearing make-up."

Lily giggled, "Don't worry, all you and I will need is gray and black, maybe white."

Severus quirked an eyebrow, "Why? What are we going as?"

Lily unrolled the bundles, "Dementors!"

Severus blinked, "Beg pardon?"

"Well, a variation of sorts, I guess," Lily continued, stepping towards him with a roll of black, shredded cheesecloth, "See, this will go over our faces like a veil and the ragged robes will cover out bodies." She held up the cloth to Severus's shoulders, measuring the width, "I brought gloves to for our hands too."

Mary came over with her make-up set, "We'll put a light dusting of gray on your faces, darken the circles around your eyes in black, and whiten the cheekbones to give off a more skeletal look."

"With the cheese cloth over our faces, people won't be able to recognize us unless they are right up against us," Lily exclaimed, "It's perfect for not being bothered by any jerks at the party. Slughorn will of course know who we are from when we enter, so we can still meet any of his connections he invited who may seem useful to our careers."

"Slughorn will probably be introducing you to them so he can brag anyway," Mary pointed out.

Severus eyed the costumes, considering them.

"I have to say this is an agreeable idea," he admitted, fingering the fabric, "I'll be honest though, it's grimmer than what I would have expected you to pick for yourself, Lily."

Lily shrugged, a halfhearted smile on her face.

"I didn't really feel like being a pretty princess or anything like that this year," she confessed, "This year, everyone knows me and not for a reason I'm comfortable with. It gets difficult having people's eyes on you all the time. I felt like blending in for once.

Mary nodded, "I know the feeling," she pulled an eye mask out of her satchel and a blond wig, "I wanted to have fun without so many eyes being on my every move. If I let go and cut loose dressed like this, who's going to know it was me?"

"It's freeing isn't it," Severus remarked, looking at the costume in his hands, "People claim a disguise is to hide yourself, but sometimes it's the perfect way to actually be yourself when no one else will let you. No scrutiny, no judgement; it's nice."

"It's a chance to drop the masks we wear every day," Lily said, "Professor Sprout said that's important." She rubbed at the fading scratches on her arm and smiled hopefully.

With a wave of her wand, a clothing rack turned into a small paper room divider.

"Now," Lily said, a big smile on her face, "Let's get dressed."

{page break}

Slughorn had truly outdone himself this year. An expanding charm on his office, the enlarged space was covered floor to ceiling in a black and orange canopy. The center of the ceiling had an elaborate chandelier hanging from it with rod iron fixtures shaped like wicked looking branches and fake bats enchanted to fly around and hang off them. Several orbs of light floated around the room.

A grand table was set off to one side of the room, heavily laden with appetizers, entrees and desserts like a buffet. Waiters went around carrying platters of hors d'oeuvres and wine glasses full of sparkling juice and cider.

"Slughorn certainly knows how to show off," Severus stated as he walked into the room. A black veil of cheesecloth hung over his face, allowing him to see relatively well but obscuring his face from passersby.

"You said it," Mary murmured, walking in behind him. She was wearing a mauve frilly blouse and matching skirt. She'd pinned up a side of her skirt slightly to show off the ruffles underneath and her long boots. Aside from her mask and wig, she had on her head a large, wide brimmed hat with a giant feathered plume sticking off it.

Mary snagged a glass of cider as a waiter walked by, "This is fancier than I expected."

"That's right, you've never been to one of Slughorn's parties," Lily recalled, coming into the room dressed similarly to Severus. Her long gloves had long fake black nails at the end of every finger, something Severus refused. When another waiter came round with puff pastries, Lily made use of her nails and stabbed one, using her nail as a skewer.

"See?" Lily said to Severus and he could faintly make out her smirk through her costume, "I bet you wished you hadn't refused these things now. You're going to get your gloves all dirty or have to take them off to eat."

"Or I could just not eat finger foods," Severus remarked, "Or I could do this," he pulled out his wand and with a flick; the tips of his gloves vanished, leaving his fingertips bare.

"Cheater," Lily said. Severus could tell by her voice she was pouting.

Slughorn choose that moment to make an appearance.

"Marvelous costumes!" he boomed, "And what might be the identities of such disguises?"

"It's me and Severus, Professor," Lily answered, pulling her veil up for a moment so that the teacher could see, "We brought our friend Mary MacDonald along."

Mary raised her mask up and curtseyed before sliding it back onto her face.

Slughorn nodded approvingly, "Miss MacDonald, you look just like the girl on the vintage of wine I selected for tonight. For grown-ups only, of course," he chuckled.

"I think he's already cracked that bottle open," Severus said out the side of his mouth.

"Definitely looks that way," Lily shot back with a giggle.

"Well," Slughorn said with a hiccup," Do make yourselves comfortable. Eat, drink, dance; there's plenty of fun to be had. I most go and greet everyone," with a tipsy wave, he stumbled off, calling out to one passerby, "Amistad! How you tried the wine?"

Mary and Lily giggled.

"He's already three sheets to the wind," Mary commented.

"I'm pretty sure that bottle he spoke of was finished before half the guests even arrived," Severus mused.

"Probably," said someone behind them.

Remus walked over with a smile. Wearing a long brown coat and a hat, he had a very long colorful scarf draped around his neck that nearly touched the floor.

"And what, pray tell, are you supposed to be?" Severus asked snidely.

"Oh, so it's you under there, Snape," Remus said with a grin, "Why, I'm the Doctor."

"Never heard of him," Severus said, causing Remus's smile to drop.

Lily laughed, "Severus isn't much for television. Though I'm surprised you know it, Remus."

"Hello Lily," Remus greeted before scratching his neck and grinning sheepishly, "Truthfully I don't. One of our dorm mates gave me the idea. I needed an easy outfit,"he looked down at his feet, "I think the scarf is supposed to be longer, but I ran out of washcloths to transfigure. Plus I didn't want to be tripping over it all night."

"I think you look great," Mary praised him.

Remus nodded at her, "I know that voice; thanks Mary." He looked the three of them over, "I see you're all going for some level of concealment tonight."

"We're incognito," Mary said, feeling quite chipper.

Remus laughed, "I can tell. Is any of this an attempt to avoid some less pleasant classmates," he gestured to a table where several older Slytherins stood in fine dress robes, glaring disdainfully at everyone.

"They apparently find muggle traditions for All Hallows to be juvenile and uncivilized," Remus explained.

"Figures," Mary huffed.

"To be fair, dressing up is a tradition customarily done by children," Severus pointed out.

Lily nudged him, "Of come off it. Just admit you're glad I convinced you to wear a costume."

Severus sighed. "The anonymity it rather enjoyable…provided no one recognizes my voice," he turned to Lupin.

Remus held his hands up, "Don't blame me, I have good hearing."

"Geeze I wonder why," Severus muttered sarcastically.

Mary squinted into the crowd, "I think I've spotted Simone and Thea."

Deep in discussion with a rather severe looking man were a pair of familiar looking Venetian clowns. Both were in hues of purple and white fabric covered in glitter and gemstones. The shorter of the pair wore a hat reminiscent of a jester with bells and ribbons hanging from it. The taller one—obviously Simone—wore a sort of beaded turban-like headdress with a face scarf coming off of it to hang below the chin.

Instead of traditional masks, the pair had painted their faces to resemble a porcelain appearance. Thea's face was white and a large butterfly wing swooped off one eyed in purple and gold face paint flecked with glitter, a full butterfly painted low on the opposing side of her face. Simone's face was a shimmery gold with a large violet painted around one eye, the vines trailing down and over the bridge of her nose to curl under her other eye, several small buds sprouting off it to decorate her cheek. Both girls has lips painted purple and black outlines around their eyes.

"What's that?" Lily asked, pointing to a gold creature on Thea's shoulder.

"That's Jerva," Severus explained, "Thea's gecko. She doesn't often bring her out of the dorms; must have figured she matched the outfit."

Jerva climbed up onto Thea's headpiece and surveyed the room with curiosity.

Simone looked over at that moment and spotted them. With a smile, she motioned them to join her.

"Let's go, Sev," Lily said, taking his hand.

Severus maneuvered through the congested space as he and Lily made their way over to Simone and her acquaintance. While she was in clear sight of them at a straightaway path, getting to her was no easy matter. People crowded nearly every available space, laughing and talking with one another, sharing jokes and gossip as they dined on an abundance of food.

Passing by the main table, Severus snagged himself a slice of ham and a plate, finding amusing comfort in his ability to eat quickly and unrefined without anyone watching thanks to his costume. He grabbed a cracker topped with thinly sliced salmon and down that as well, for once feeling uninhibited and free to indulge.

Just as he set his empty plate down on the tray of a passing waiter, someone bumped into his shoulder hard, actually causing him to stumble a little bit. Affronted, he turned around to see the offender, intending to give them a piece of his mind. Expecting to find either an embarrassed and defensive culprit ready to apologize or argue with him, he found a crowd of costumed faces not even pointing in his direction. With everyone lost in his or her own discussions, they paid Severus no mind.

Severus cast his eyes to the closest person by him; their proximity making them the most likely to have bumped into him.

They were a tall fellow—though Severus assumed they could have just as easily been a women with the looseness of the costume obscuring all body features. Donned in a long white wig, it hung in tendrils over their shoulders and draped over their arms like cobwebs. The majority of the costume was a long gray cloth that hung off their frame and dragged along the floor as they walked. When they turned to Severus, he could see their mask was faceless, bearing no discernible features, neither eyes nor mouth. Obviously, the person's head was much lower in the costume, the stiffness of the being's movements indicating that the upper part of the costume rested on the shoulders of the person wearing it to create an appearance of immense height.

The faceless visage faced Severus in silence. Though Severus could not make out any eyeholes in the costume it was clear this person could see him. After a moment's pause, the no-face leaned the upper part of its body towards in him a bow of acknowledgment, before turning and moving away through the crowd.

Severus stared after the person in confusion for a moment longer, before Lily—having no clue the interaction that had passed—took him by the hand and pulled him along.

Before they had made their way to Simone and Thea, both bearing matching grins at their arrival.

"Snape," Simone greeted, "Come meet Mr. Belby."

{page break}

"Ouch," Sirius grunted, "Watch where you're stepping, Wormtail."

"Sorry, Sirius," Peter simpered, "It's hard to walk under this thing."

"Well it's harder to see you when you're under that thing," Sirius said moodily. He scratched at his mask, a Gorilla costume if he hazard a guess, "This thing is itchy. Why couldn't we all hide under the cloak instead of just Peter?"

"Because it's too crowded in here and we'd take up too much space for people to  _not_  notice they bumped into something but saw  _nothing_ ," James explained like it were obvious, "I would have had Peter nick a costume too, but it was too hard finding someone wearing a costume that would fit him."

"I'm not that big," Peter protested.

"Whatever," Sirius muttered irritably, "Let's just find Snivelly."

"And Lily," James added, adjusting his eye patch and fake beard.

The scanned the crowd searching for their target. There was an assortment of costumed faces around them. A scarecrow was snacking on appetizers by the buffet, a dragon was flirting with a pair of princesses. Two Venetian clowns were dancing to the music, spinning around erratically while the taller of the two cackled delightedly.

"He could be anyone here," Sirius complained, "I knew we should have gotten here earlier; we could have seen them show themselves to Slughorn. But noooo, here we are, hours late."

"Hey it took longer than I thought to cram those guys into the broom cupboard without being seen," James argued.

"Hate to be them when they wake up," Sirius snorted, "Sitting in their skivvies in a closet."

"Wait, look over there!" Peter exclaimed.

"We can't see where you're pointing, you silly tit," Sirius said in exasperation.

"Over there by the girl dressed as a fairy," Peter clarified.

A few feet away, there was a skinny figure in what appeared to be a black robe with greasy black hair and pale skin.

"He didn't bother with a costume after all," James crowed, "Lucky us!"

"He's as greasy looking as ever," Sirius snickered, "How about we give Snivellous a bath?"

"What a lovely idea," James agreed, drawing his wand. Flicking it at the refreshment table, one of the punch bowls floated high into the air and hovered across the room.

"Careful," Sirius warned, guiding the bowl's flight with his own wand, "Careful…"

Just as it reached a point over Snape's head, James and Sirius made a quick motion with their wands and the bowl upended, dumping its contents.

All at once, Snape drew everyone's attention by letting out a very outraged,  _girlish_  shriek.

"My dress!" the figure cried. Whirling around, the sight that greeted three of the Marauders wasn't Snape but a very incensed girl in a banshee costume.

"Even my make-up's ruined," the drenched girl cried, "I spent hours on it!"

Spotting James and Sirius with their wands out, her face twisted in fury.

"You two!" she yelled, "How dare you!" Pulling out her own wand, she advance on them menacingly, several of her friends doing the same.

"Might be time to book it, Prongs," Sirius said worriedly.

"Definitely," James agreed.

The pair quickly turned to make an escape, but they tripped over an invisible Peter in the process, sending them crashing to the ground.

"Potter!" the girl roared as James's beard came off, "You'll pay for this!"

"Run!" James cried taking off for the exit with Sirius close behind. The angry mob of girls were hot on their heels.

{page break}

"What on earth was all that commotion about?" Lily asked curiously from the other side of the room.

"You're guess is as good as mine," Severus offered before he and Lily returned to their discussion with Belby.

' _Was that James?'_ Remus wondered to himself,  _'Ah well, as long as he's bothering someone else for a change and not Snape.'_

{page break}

Late that night, Simone and Thea wandered the torch lit halls of the seventh floor.

"Any reason we aren't heading to the dungeon?" Thea asked her friend.

Simone shrugged, "We'll get there eventually; I just felt like taking the longer route."

"You can't find Amadeus, can you?" Thea asked knowingly.

"Little bastard ran off with one of my favorite bracelets," Simone muttered, "I still haven't found him."

"He probably hid it on you," Thea suggested, unwrapping a chocolate frog card she'd saved from the party.

"Yeah, but where?" Simone asked. She looked at the card, "What'd you get?"

"Rowena Ravenclaw  _again!"_  Thea said in exasperation, "This is getting ridiculous."

"Maybe fate's trying to tell you something," Simone joked.

Thea rolled her eyes, "Like what?" She rotated the card this way and that, unaware of the light glinting off of it catching a certain creature's attention.

Jerva scurried off of Thea's hat and grabbed the card in her mouth. With surprising speed, she crawled off of Thea onto the ground and took off down the hall.

"Jerva, come back!" Thea cried, running after the gecko.

"At least I'm not the only one losing pets!" Simone called, following her.

Reaching the joining hallway, Jerva scurried to the wall and attempted to climb it, but the rocky surface was not suitable to stick to.

"Jerva," Thea scolded, catching up to her pet, "Don't run off like that." She reached to pick Jerva up, but the little lizard shot off to the side down the hall.

"Jerva!" Thea headed her off, causing the lizard to double back the other way.

"Now this is entertaining," Simone said with a laugh.

"Shut it," Thea growled, chasing her pet back and forth along the floor, "at least Jerva didn't steal anything important."

"She still stole something, so she's no better than Amadeus," Simone pointed out, "I wondered where she was going to put it?"

"I don't know? Where would you hide something shiny?" Thea asked irritably.

Just as Thea got a hold of the gecko, a strange noise filled the air, like the shifting of stone.

Thea and Simone watched in amazement as a large, ornate door appeared in the wall.

Simone slowly walked up to her gob smacked friend.

"I… _love_  that power of yours," she said, patting Thea on the shoulder before walking towards the door.

"Simone, we don't even know what's in there," Thea warned.

"I know," Simone replied, hand on the doorknob, "which is why there's only one way to find out." With that, she opened the door.

Stretching out in all directions was a huge, cavernous room. The walls stretched high into the air to a cathedral-like ceiling, their footsteps echoing in the large space. Every which way were enormous piles of books and boxes and various other items, covered in varying levels of dust.

"Wow," Simone breathed.

Thea hesitantly followed her inside, Jerva firmly in her grip, "What is this place?"

Walking over to the nearest pile, Simone picked up a very familiar item off a broken table.

She rotated her bracelet in her hands, "A place where things are hidden…" she said in wonder, "H-how…how…" she shook herself, looking around, "How the devil did that bloody cat find his way in here when the door wasn't even there before?!"

"Kneazles  _are_  clever," Thea suggested weakly, still staring at their surroundings in awe.

"Yeah but just because he's a magical creature doesn't mean he actually has magic," Simone snapped. Pocketing her bracelet, she stood up straight, shoulders back, lifting her wand and illuminating the tip, "Alright, let's check this place out."

The pair stuck close together as they wandered through the towering heaps of relics and rubbish, not trusting their surrounds enough to split up. The walked past broken furniture and stacks of old papers and books, paintings that had seen better days and décor that needed a good polish.

"I can't believe we've never found this place before," Simone said, picking her way through a heap of clutter, "Clearly other people have—look," she held up a portrait of a rather unattractive young man with large front teeth and enormous ears, "Some things are better off lost, eh?"

Thea bit back a giggle, "Sim, that's mean."

"Whatever…" Simone said dismissively, already on the hunt for new discoveries.

Thea let Simone have her fun, herself not very interested in poking through what was sure to be personal possessions people wanted to stay hidden. It was a little too dark to be rooting around in strange places anyway, so she occupied herself with the policy of 'look, don't touch,'.

Content to just meander, Thea became distracted by an odd sound. It wasn't a buzzing sound, but more like a hum, a steady hum, faint but constant. Curious, Thea slowed the sound, weaving through discarded possessions long since abandoned.

Strolling past a tall dresser with a cracked mirror on it, she nearly walked into a footstool and only just righted herself in time, bumping into the dresser in the process.

As the dresser wobbled in place, something rattled on the top of it and slide off, landing with a metallic ting on the floor.

"What's this?" Thea wondered aloud. Tucking Jerva securing into a pocket on her costume, she bent down and picked up the fallen item, turning it over in her hands.

It was an old piece, not quite jewelry but rather more grand and official than that. The tarnished metal barely glimmered in the sparse lit of the room, but it still captured an air of beauty and regality in its molded curves and embellishments. In the center of the piece was a large blue Gem that must have glittered like starlight back when it was new.

The humming was emanating from it; it was pulsing in her hands.

"Hey, Sim," Thea called out, her eyes never leaving her find, "Take a look at this."

"Hm?" Simone poke her head out from behind a mountain of broken chairs. She had taken her hat from her costume off and was using it to carry random things she'd found. Nothing valuable per say; just a glove missing its match, a melted key, and a pair of green horn rimmed glasses with one lens crack down the middle.

"What'cha find?" Simone sauntered over and examined Thea's discovery.

"I'm not sure," Thea admitted, "It sort of found me."

"Let me see it," Simone requested, taking it from Thea, "It looks like a tiara."

"It's vibrating," Thea told her, "Like…humming or something."

"I don't feel anything," Simone said, "Don't hear anything either."

"How can you not?" Thea asked, placing her hand on the edge of the headpiece, "There it is again!"

Simone shrugged, "Nothing out of the ordinary to me. It's pretty though." Studying it, she flashed a smile at Thea and then move to put the tiara on.

Without thinking, Thea shot and hand out and stopped Simone,  _"Don't."_

Simone paused, the tiara hovering over her head, "What's the matter?"

"Something's not right," Thea told her, "I just…it  _feels_  off." She looked at the tiara again, stepping back slightly, "This thing was hidden for a reason and I'm not sure I'd like to know what that is…"

Giving her friend a puzzled look, Simone brought the tiara back down in front of her, looking it over carefully.

"What could be so bad about it?" she asked.

Staring at the tiara, Simone traced her fingers over the weathered piece, following the curves and lines of its shape. Her eyes landed on the gem in the center, once so beautiful, now dust covered and grimy.

She stared at the gem for a long time, seemingly lost in it.

It was such a pretty gem…probably all shiny and blue under all that dirt. It would look gorgeous on her head…

Simone began to lean forward towards the tiara but caught herself. As soon as she did, a sharp pain shot through her head, causing her to wince and nearly drop the tiara, one hand gripping her head in agony.

"Sim!" Thea cried, lunging forward to steady her friend.

"I'm fine," Simone grunted through clenched teeth, "Just a little headache is all." As she raised her head, Thea gasped.

"Simone, your nose is bleeding!" Thea exclaimed.

Bringing a hand to her face, Simone pulled away to find a crimson smear painting her fingers. She looked at the tiara. The metal was hot in her hand, not burning, but warm with the heat of life…but inhuman.

A hint of a whisper trickled into Simone's ears, hissing, taunting…

Simone gasped, dropping the tiara in shock.

"We need to go," she stated.

She spotted a small hatbox off to the side. Snatching it up, she stuffed the tiara inside.

"Sim, what are you doing?" Thea asked, alarmed.

Closing the box's lid, Simone tapped it with her wand,  _"Incarcerous!"_

Thick ropes shot out of the tip of her wand and wrapped themselves tightly around the box.

Simone looked at Thea worriedly, "Thea, we were never here."

Thea blinked, "But, Sim—"

" _Listen to me!"_  Simone said urgently, grabbing hold of Thea's wrist, "You were right; this thing—something is wrong with it. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to know; it's bad. No one can ever find it."

Simone lifted the box high into the air and with a mighty throw, flung the box clear into the air, it landing with a distant thud somewhere out of sight.

"We never saw this room," Simone instructed, "We don't even know it exists. Whatever that thing is, it's staying hidden, got it?"

Thea stared at her, her lip quivering.

"Got it?" Simone repeated, a bit more urgently.

Thea gulped, shakily nodding her head, "R-right…"

Holding tightly to each others' hand, the girls fled in a panic, the door closing behind them and fading into nothingness.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, things just got interesting huh?
> 
> The plot...it thickens!
> 
> Hope the dementor costumes makes at least some of my readers smile. 
> 
> Read and review :)


	34. Secrets and Sillies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after the party and Severus wakes up to a strange message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!
> 
> Once again thanks for all the wonderful reviews and helpful feedback everyone. It's nice to know my work means enough to you all that you look for ways it can get better. That means more to me than someone finding a flaw and dismissing my story altogether. The fact that when you find room for improvement you stick around to see it happen is truly uplifting.
> 
> I'm sure some of you are surprised by Simone's actions in the previous chapter. Now you and me as readers (and the writer) know what that thing she found is and what it means and of course we would think 'do the smart thing and bring it to Dumbledore'. But Simone lacks not only that knowledge but also that courage. She made put on a brave front most of the times, but she is not invincible and is more than capable of acting fearing and without thought. In an act of fear, she hid what scared her and fled from it like many youngsters would. She's a teen, still capable of childish reactions and even cowardice.
> 
> The strange attributes coming from the Horcrux that led them to it will be explained in chapter 35 or so. Until then, I shall let you all wonder why they could hear and feel things coming from it. Rest assured, neither girl has Harry's ability of sensing them due to being one. They're normal witches, the reason they could feel the Horcrux will be explained. Don't worry.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter. It's mostly mystery and mischief.
> 
> Enjoy

* * *

Severus woke up midway through the morning on Saturday, Slughorn's party the night prior doing a fine job of tiring him out. So burnt out after leaving the festivities, Severus was out like a light the minute his head hit the pillows, forgoing his usual nightly reading.

Sitting up in bed, Severus grimaced at his pillow.

"Probably should have changed last night," he mused aloud, frowning at the black and gray smears across his pillow and the rumpled costume cloak twisted around him.

Stripping the pillowcase and removing his costume, he left it on the bed before casting a hasty look around. The dorm room was silent except for the snores of his dorm mates, all deep in slumber after a night of binging on sweets—and probably a few stolen pints of alcohol from Hogsmead.

Deeming it safe to wander about, Severus ducked into the bathroom to clean his face and get ready for the day. Gathering his shampoo and soap, he reminded himself to get Mrs. Evans a marvelous gift for Christmas as a thank you for buying him such expensive brands of cleaning materials. Washing everyday truly did have a great effect on his esteem.

Before this year, Severus could—generally did—use the generic school soaps, but he had such little consideration for hygiene after years of forgoing it in his own house, so he only showered once a week. After a summer of being encouraged to care more for himself, he now could see the value in grooming and how changing others' outlook of him changed his own outlook on himself.

Stepping out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed, Severus stepped to the mirror and examined his appearance briefly. His complexion had cleared up fairly well, greasy skin now replaced by the mere few blemishes here or there common to adolescence. His hair looked softer and healthier now, making him greatly Mrs. Evans had introduced him to shampoos meant for those whose hair produced more oil.

His teeth were whiter and no longer that sickening yellow that made him wary to smile. Mr. Evans even told him that a dentist could remove his wisdom teeth so that his remaining teeth would have more room to spread out and not crowd each other, though fixing their crookedness would be a different matter.

Overall, Severus felt like a new man. Gone were the comments about his hair and clothes, jokes about how people could smell him before he rounded the corner. Though he still had to tolerate wariness and skepticism based on the color of his tie, at least suspicion aimed at his Hogwarts house was better than disgust aimed at him for a lifetime of poverty-induced filthiness he had little control over.

Intending to catch a late breakfast, Severus gathered up the pile on his bed to leave in the hamper for cleaning. Holding up his dementor robe, Severus was in the middle of folding it when something fell from among the folds of fabric and landed at his feet.

Curious, Severus knelt down and picked the item up to find it was a tightly folded piece of paper. Casting a careful glance around the room to ensure his roommates were all still sleeping, Severus unfolded the paper.

_A secret is hidden among pompous pride_

_Vain arrogance loosens lips thought sealed_

_One who is silent hears whispers the loudest_

_Those who serve unseen see all_

_-Babbity_

"What in the world?" Puzzled, Severus flipped the paper over, searching for more to the missive but finding nothing. Flipping it back over, he examined the words again. The message was short, cryptic. Clearly, someone didn't want just anyone to come across it and understand its meaning. Who was to say the note was even meant for him? There was no name on the parchment to indicate its intended recipient.

Had it been tucked up in his bedsheets? Or in his pillowcase? Or his costume. Rummaging through his hamper pile, Severus found his costume did indeed have pockets, a perfect place for a note to be stashed. But that only perplexed him more; for he couldn't recall receiving the note last night and tucking it there for safe keeping. Someone else must have put it there, but surely he would have notice something as invasive as a hand in his pocket…?

Of course!

Severus thought back to the party; back before things got into full swing. Someone had been close enough to give him the note, and had ample distraction and opportunity to do it.

"No-face…" Severus realized. He thought back to that bizarre costume, a robed figure with a mask that had no face. Its wearer had banged into him rather hard, harder enough to throw him off balance and leave him stumbling. He'd been so disoriented and focused on not tripping in his robes, it would have been the perfect time to slip the note into his pocket, he hardly would have noticed.

There was also the question of if the note was even meant for him. He had been disguised that night and well many would probably assume a dementor looked quite fitting and predictable for him, he was such an unremarkable appearance compared to the purebloods at the party in their expensive outfits that surely very few would have picked him out of a crowd. Add Lily's matching outfit to the occassion and it made guessing harder; everyone would assume Lily to be in something pretty and glamorous. Any one expecting Severus in a drab costume would be looking for a pretty fairy or princess Lily accompanying him so the presence of  _two_  dementors would make them second guess Severus was under one of those robes at all.

Who was under the faceless mask and what did their little note have to do with Severus?

 

{page break}

 

When Severus came down to the Great Hall for breakfast, most students had already cleared out. Others simply skipped breakfast in favor of sleeping in, presumably planning to wake up in time for lunch. Only a few students remained from each house, scattered here and there among the four long tables, sleepily nibbling on toast, heads bent over cups of pumpkin juice and wishing it were coffee (Severus knew he sure did).

Having passed Lily in the hallway as she departed from the hall and promising to meet up after he ate, Severus headed for the Slytherin table. With so many of his dorm mates sleeping in or already eaten for the morning, he gladly took advantage of the absence of their hostility to eat a peaceful meal.

A little ways down the table, Simone and Thea sat together in front of two plates of scrambled eggs and ham. However, they didn't appear to be paying their half touched plates any mind at all. Heads bent together, huddled inward, the two girls were locked deep in a whispered conversation, occasionally risking a glance at their surroundings to make sure they were not overheard.

Severus cleared his throat before sitting down so as not to startle them.

"Good morning," he greeted, taking a seat.

"Snape," Simone returned, with a polite nod of her head. She shot Thea a look full of unspoken meaning before the two girls sat up and started eating what remained of their breakfast, a feigned sense of casualty in their movements.

"So," Severus began, "Where did you two get off to last night?"

"What do you mean?" Simone asked in a neutral voice, spreading jam on her toast.

"I mean, you both left the party before me and yet I saw you just entering the common room as I headed up for bed," Severus stated, "What sidetracked you?"

Simone paused, her fork halfway to her mouth.

Beside her, Thea was staring fixedly at the table.

"Well," Simone started, lowering her fork, "If you must know, we were looking for Amadeus. He stole my bracelet and I wanted to get it back before he chewed it up."

Simone jerked a thumb at Thea, "Then her gecko took off, so we had to catch that little blighter too."

Thea nodded in agreement.

"So did you find it?" Severus asked.

Simone nearly dropped her fork this time.

"Found what?" she asked, startled, "Who said we found anything?"

"Your bracelet," Severus elaborated, watching Simone suspiciously.

"O-oh," Simone said, swallowing, "Yeah we found it. My bracelet…we found it alright."

Thea was practically burning a hole through the table with her stare.

Severus tilted his head, eying them both with narrowed eyes, "Where was it?"

Simone shrugged, not looking at him, "You know, where we least expected it. Behind a door."

Thea made a noise that sounded like a squeak.

"A door to the bathroom," Simone added quickly. She laughed forcefully, "Cats, am I right?"

"Right," Severus said slowly, watching the two of them.

"I just remembered," Simone said suddenly, standing up so abruptly she bumped into the table, "Thea and I have to head to the Owlery to mail Petunia about how the party was." She began gathering up her things, "She promised to send us a picture of her costume. Ta-tah!" She grabbed Thea by the arm and together the two girls hurried out of the Great hall.

' _Peculiar,'_  Severus thought. It was rare to see Simone so rattled. Thea was usually a jittery little thing, but Simone was generally unshakable, her composure built up over years of feigning indifference to any glib or barb. Therefore, what could she have seen last night to leave her clearly so off kilter?

Severus supposed it would just have to be another addition on his list of things to do.

1\. Confront Lupin about his so called 'friends' manipulation of him

2\. Investigate the animagus theory surrounding Potter and his cronies

3\. Solve the meaning behind the note he received this morning

4\. Find out what Simone was hiding

Severus honestly didn't know if the note trumped his curiosity about Simone in level of importance. Yes the note was baffling and could possibly be hinting at important things to come, but seeing Simone so ruffled intrigued him. Surely, whatever had her out of sorts would have to be of immense importance. At least he would assume so.

Severus finished his breakfast languidly, he wasn't going to take this respite of peace from his nastier housemates for granted. Whatever secrets Simone and the note hid would still be there when he finished.

Probably.

 

{page break}

 

"Another detention," bemoaned Sirius as he walked down the hallway, "and on the weekend."

James patted him on the back sympathetically.

"This is still less detention than we earned by this time last year," Peter pointed out.

Sirius snorted, "Yeah, only because we've had to cut back on pranking Snivellous to avoid Moony catching us."

He crossed his arms, "Saturdays are supposed to be mini vacations for us; to escape all this schooling nonsense. Why do I need to learn anyway? I've already proven I'm smarter than the majority of these louts." He flashed James a canine grin, "Otherwise I wouldn't be Padfoot, would I?"

"Keep your voice down," James warned.

Sirius continued petulantly, "I don't need any more education to prove my intelligence or that I'd make a damn good Auror, but if I am going to be forced through this crap, I should have my weekends to look forward to. But noooooo," he threw up his hands, "Snivellous had to go and get us another detention."

"Technically, we got detention for dousing that Ravenclaw prefect in punch," Peter said meekly.

"Yeah, but only because we thought she was Snivellous," Sirius snapped, "And in the end it wasn't him. We got detention for a prank and it didn't even have a satisfying payoff."

James sighed, "I knew we should have brought the map. If only Remus hadn't hidden it before he left."

Sirius huffed.

"To keep you out of trouble," Sirius imitated in Remus's voice.

"It's like he doesn't trust us," James griped.

Peter looked back and forth between the too, wondering if they grasped just how untrustworthy they had proven themselves.

Neither seemed to catch on.

"It isn't right," Sirius complained, "Snape's a dirty Slytherin, we should be lauded and praised for putting him in his place."

"For a time we were," James pointed out, "Then he had to go play hero and everyone starts cutting him some slack. It's complete bullocks. Don't they realize if I had gotten there sooner, I of course would have saved Lily just as he had. AND, I wouldn't have nearly gotten my head severed from my shoulders!"

"Right you are, Prongs," Sirius agreed, "Snape's being idolized for a barely successful rescue; any Gryffindor could have saved the girls four times over and caught Mulciber and Avery before the Aurors ever arrived."

"I mean, it isn't like I couldn't save Lily," James said moodily, hands in his pockets, "I would never want anything to happen to her. If I could have gotten there sooner, I would have." He shuffled his feet as he walked, "If I had been there sooner, she would see how good a person I am, instead of the jerk Snape makes me out to be."

"She's got blinders on," Sirius stated, "All she sees is us picking on Snivellous, but she never considers what he and his Slytherin buddies are probably up to when our backs are turned. They're all up to their eyes in dark magic; we're just preemptively showing them that they can't mess with us."

James nodded, "Yeah, we're putting the fear of the Light side in them."

Peter nodded, "We're getting them before they get us." It certainly did help that James and Sirius had garner a reputation of doing such. Sure, Peter still did get the occasional hex whenever he was alone, but he shuddered to think how bad things would be for him against the Slytherin if he wasn't friends with self-labeled "Dark wizard catchers" like his friends. A clumsy, pudgy Gryffindor without any of the strength and backbone boasted by his noble Hogwarts house; he wouldn't stand a chance without his friends.

Sirius sighed, "I have to say, Mate, you might have put you lot in with the wrong girl. Evans is nice enough I suppose, but she's too wrapped up in whatever warped friendship she has with Snivellous. We wouldn't have received half the detentions we got last year if she hadn't always been running off to McGonagall over every little thing. Face it, she's cute but she's got poor taste in friends. I'd say she's a lost cause."

"Don't say that," James said stubbornly, "Lily's just confused is all. She's got a big heart and Snivellous is as pathetic as they come. She's confusing her pity for something more and he's taking advantage of that. I mean, she can't really like the greasy git; they have nothing in common. She's light—he's dark, she's sweet—he's a bastard. So what if he likes to read like she does; it's probably all dark magic he's skimming through and he's about as interesting as wet paper. Surely, Lily would see that if she wasn't so compassionate to pity the poor and the ugly."

"Well she doesn't see what you see," Sirius stated with a roll of his eyes.

"She almost did," James countered, "At the end of last year she was all but through with him. Then those bastards on the train showed up and she's so traumatized that she thinks Snape's some good guy just because he nearly got killed. By his own spell, might I add!"

Sirius shook his head, "I'm telling you to just forget her, Mate. The only way you're going to convince her of anything is if you prove Snape's no good and frankly that sounds like more work than it's worth. Don't get me wrong, I love pranking that git, but the only way you're going to get her to see that you're doing it for the right reasons is to show his true colors."

"Well he did last year, so why would it be so hard to expose that again?" Peter inquired, genuinely curious.

"That was a slip up," Sirius explained, "I doubt Snape will let that happen again. Slytherins are sneaky; they rarely reveal their true nature in public. They stick to the shadows and do their dirty deeds in secret. Then when anyone wise enough to cotton on to their little scheme acts on that knowledge, the cowards play victim and turn the tables on them."

' _If they're supposedly so good at hiding their nature, then why is every Slytherin automatically declared evil?'_  Peter wondered,  _'Wouldn't we all be convinced they're nice and innocent with only a few people decrying their actions instead of it being the other way around with a few trusting them and the majority hating them?'_

Peter wanted to question this further, but wisely chose to keep silent since Sirius was in a rant and worked up. It was never good to contradict Sirius when he was indignant about something. Peter thought is eyebrow would never grow back from last time.

' _Did he have to shave it all off?'_  Peter mused, absentmindedly rubbing his brow.

Sirius slung an arm over James's shoulders, 'Come on, Prongs. There's plenty of other lovely ladies out there. Why fixate on the one who's not interested in you?"

"I don't want just any girl, though," James protested, "And she isn't uninterested in me. Not completely at least. I know she finds some of my jokes funny. She's just feeling things out, seeing if I'm serious about her or not. I simply have to show her that I really have feelings for her."

Sirius shook his head, "James, the whole 'playing hard to get' thing is outdated. Guys want girls who are straight forward and tell a man what they want. The time of courting and wooing is over, my friend. Expecting a man to put in all this effort while the girl sits back and gets presents and compliments is bollocks! Why make an ass of yourself impressing some indecisive girl? You could have your pick of the litter with your looks and more than half the girls in this school would die for a chance to date you."

"But they're not Lily," James said, "She's different. I don't know how, but she just is."

' _Because she's the one who said no?'_ Peter thought. He shook the thought away; just because James is used to getting his way is no reason to assume his feelings for Lily were motivated by her steadfast refusal to give in to him.

Sirius rolled his eyes; he wasn't going to be getting through to James this way.

"Well then why not try a different tactic?" he suggested.

James perked up, "What do you mean?"

"Look, you been trying the same routine for how many years?" Sirius ventured, "You ask her out, she refuses, you keep pushing. Clearly, that's just pissing her off. She says she wants you to leave her alone…why not give her what she wants?"

James frowned, "You mean give up?"

Sirius shook his head, "No, I mean leave her alone. Give her space and pay attention to other people. Show her how much she truly enjoys your attention by taking that away from her."

"Yeah…" James said, nodding his head, "That sounds like a great idea. She'll miss being on the receiving end of my affections and then she'll have to admit she has feelings for me. It's perfect."

"Hell, ask out a different girl," Sirius suggested, "Nothing serious, just date some girls here and there, let them spread word about what a romantic you are and get Evans thinking about what she's missed out on."

"Make her jealous. Of course!" James cried with a grin.

Sirius grinned back. Glad to see his friend was on board with his plan.

' _At least then we can have a break from Prongs making a fool of himself for Evans,'_ he thought victoriously,  _'then we can dedicate our time to some high quality pranking.'_

"Moony would approve too," Peter tacked on, "If you're acting like you're over Evans, he'll assume you're really serious about leaving Snivellous be. If you're 'over her' then he'll think you don't care about their friendship because you have nothing to be jealous of."

Was it Peter's imagination, or did the corridor suddenly get several degrees colder?

James turned to Peter, a thunderous look on his face.

"I…am NOT," he took a menacing step forward, "jealous of Snivellous," he said dangerously.

Peter took a frightened step back, "I didn't mean it that way…" he simpered, "I meant…that Remus thinks you are…not me."

Sirius stepped between them, hands up, "Hey, hey now. Let's all stay calm here. No one's saying you're jealous of Snivellous, Prongs. Anyone can see you are a thousand times better than him; if anything he should be jealous of you."

James relaxed, momentarily abated, "I suppose that's true." He turned away, his arms crossed.

"Me jealous of Snivellous," he scoffed, "Absurd."

"Of course it is," Sirius pandered, "Everyone knows you're better than that slimy snake. Even Snape does; that's why he's so threatened by you."

James nodded, "He is threatened by me, isn't he?"

"Obviously," Sirius agreed.

Satisfied, James started walking again, a kick in his step.

"Thanks for the quick save, Padfoot," Peter said gratefully.

Sirius turned to Peter with an exasperated shake of his head, "You really need to think things out before you say them, Wormtail. I can't always be there to have your back when the words come out wrong." He patted Peter on the head and turned to follow James.

"Jealous of Snape," Sirius laughed, "As if anyone would ever think that."

Peter watched his friends go, standing alone in the corridor.

' _But I thought that was the reason he picks on Snape to begin with,'_  Peter thought, hurrying after his friends.

 

{page break}

 

Davis skimmed over the papers spread out in front of him.

"Hey, Nesme," he called softly, "What did you get for question three?"

When Nesme didn't answer right away, Davis frowned, looking up.

"Nesme," he tried a little louder, wary of Pince hearing him, "what did you get for number three?"

Nesme didn't respond. From the other side of the stack of books a giggle arose.

Davis stared at the book arrangement, "You made a fort, didn't you?"

"…maaaaaaaybe," came the cheeky reply from the other side of the tome-made fortress.

Davis scrubbed a hand across his face, examining the structure of books. The very center of the fort had an archway made out of two books standing parallel to each other and two books resting horizontal on top of them, meeting in the middle. In the open space between these four books was a fifth book. The title was  _'Magic entryways and secret passages'_.

"Oh for the love of—" with a sigh, Davis knocked gently on the fifth book.

The book slid to the side and Nesme's face peered through the opening.

"Oh good," she said cheerfully, "You found the door."

"I saw your attempt at humor, yes," Davis remarked dryly, "Just what are you doing in there?"

Nesme laced her fingers together, resting her head a top her interlocked hands, "Not much…a little of this, a little of that. Just having fun, really."

"Fun," Davis echoed, "Right. And does any of this fun include completing your assignments?"

Nesme sat back, twiddling her thumbs, "It did…but I got sort of distracted."

"Nesme," Davis groaned.

"It's not like this is homework, Davis," Nesme pointed out, "it's just extra credit."

"Which you need, because you're behind in Ancient Runes," Davis stated plainly.

Nesme stuck out her lip, pouting.

Davis sighed, rubbing his brow, "Fine…what 'fun' are you having that has you so distracted? Besides the obvious," he added, gesturing to the book fort.

Nesme smiled widely, "Anagrams!" she announced.

Davis blinked, "…what?"

"Anagrams," Nesme repeated, sliding a piece of paper through her fort's doorway to Davis, "Rearranging words and names to create a different phrase or name. It's oodles of fun!"

With and tireless patience of a saint, Davis picked up the paper and scanned its contents.

"Simone Serapeum," he read, "Menopause Miser. Well, that explains her moods."

Nesme snickered.

"I take it she won't be seeing this list?" Davis surmised.

"Not a chance. But see here," Nesme pointed to another line, "Severus Snape is 'Save Pureness', or 'Save up Sneers.' Interesting, right?"

"The second one is certainly suitable," Davis agreed, "I see Lupin made the list; 'Primus Lune'."

"Like Latin for 'First Moon," Nesme explained.

"Luna is moon; lune doesn't mean anything in Latin," Davis corrected before returning to the list, "Irma Pince becomes 'I'm a Prince'…how on earth did you get the librarian's first name?"

Nesme shrugged, "It's what's written on her mail."

Davis took a deep breath, "Ignoring the questionable legality of that answer, it says here that Regulus Black is 'Slug Club Rake'…?"

"They can't all be winners," Nesme defended with a pout.

Davis stared at her blankly, "Clearly. So Salazar Slytherin becomes 'Real sly Nazi trash.' I'll admit that one's fitting."

Nesme nodded proudly, "That one took a while."

"Eileen Prince," Davis read, "I don't recognize that name. Who is it?"

"Don't know," Nesme replied, "I read it off one of those old Gobstones trophies."

"Well whoever she was, I guess she can say, 'I reel in pence' whatever that means," Davis said dismissively.

"You haven't seen the best one!" Nesme said excitedly, "I got the last one off a trophy too. Read it!"

"Tom Marvolo Riddle," Davis read aloud. He paused, his eyes tracing the next few words, "…Mr. Tom, a Dildo lover…"

Nesme was trying so hard to muffle her giggles, "Funny right?"

"Nesme," Davis said delicately, "Do you even know what… _that_  word means?"

"If I say yes will you promise not to ask how I know?" Nesme countered a sly grin on her face.

Davis blushed, looking away, "Never mind. Either way, that one might be a tad immature."

Nesme stuck out her tongue at him, "Prude. Anyway, I had other ones for him; he's the only one I found the middle name for so it gave me plenty of letters to work with. I got 'Lord Earldom Vomit,' 'Old Immortal Lover,' 'Mild Doormat Lover,' the list goes on. Though…"

"Let me guess," Davis hazarded, "most of them contain a word for marital aid."

Nesme looked away nonchalantly, "…Possibly."

"You're the salt of the earth, Nesme," Davis said in exasperation.

Nesme giggled until Davis pulled out one of the books acting as a support beam for Nesme's fort. By the time Pince reached their corner of the library to find the source of all the noise, both teens were nowhere to be found, a pile of books scattered across the table and floor.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the last segment seemed a bit coincidental or forced, I honestly just wanted to have someone use that joke. I have yet to decide if the anagram game Nesme plays will actually contribute to the story or not.
> 
> Even if it seemed off t you, I hope it gave you a laugh.
> 
> Read and Review please :)


	35. Fess Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus has had it with Simone's secrecy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone!
> 
> I sincerely hope you have all had a wondrous time with loved ones and merriment. I myself am still nursing my poor fingers from crocheting a queen size blanket in under a month as a surprise gift for a friend XD
> 
> Thank you to everyone for their lovely reviews, as usual. I love that folks are so invested in my story.
> 
> I've taken some suggestions into mind and decided that Nesme will NOT uncover the secret of Tom Riddle with her anagram game. It would be too easy and coincidental. What she did was just a silly little game that managed to make a few of you hold you breath for a moment in anticipation and for that I am pleased.
> 
> This chapter should answer some confusion about the diadem and it's unusual attributes that Simone and Thea felt. It is not the Horcrux itself causing the strange sensations they experienced.

* * *

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me."

"I said no!"

It was in an empty classroom an hour before dinner that Severus found himself locked in a very pointless argument with the ever so stubborn Simone. All week Severus had attempted to wring out of her just what she and Thea were so intent on hiding from their walk back to the dorms on Halloween night. Every time Severus inquired or hinted or flat out demanded an answer the pair would clam up and find some piss poor excuse to skedaddle like the hopping pot was hot on their tails.

After exhausted nearly all his options, Severus decided the best course of action was to bring in more people so that Simone would have more interested and curious minds to contend with. Which is why he wrangled their rag tag group of friends into an unused classroom.

Lily and Mary were easy to convince, as wherever Lily went Mary was sure to follow these days and since Lily never turned down an opportunity to spend time with Severus, she readily agreed when he asked her to meet with him.

Nesme was more than happy to stop by, that girl was up for pretty much anything, and she carried the added bonus of dragging a reluctant Davis with her, prying the studious boy away from his review sheets.

Severus had considered getting Lupin involved, if only because the boy seemed to grate on Thea's nerves for some reason and might make her more incline to let something slip in anger. However, Severus still didn't fully trust Lupin to keep his mouth closed around his friends and on the off chance Simone's secret was something of truly importance and discretion, Severus would rather not have such information fall into Potter or Black's hands.

Severus had considered asking the rest of his study group with Simone to come, such as Paul, or Ermina, but opted out of doing so because he frankly wasn't as close with them. Nice as they were, they were his "school friends", the type you sit next to in class and wave at in the halls, sending perhaps a letter or two over hols but otherwise having no contact over the breaks. They weren't regular friends that you always want around in and out of class, like Lily had always been and the group before him were slowly becoming. So he left them out of the meeting, figuring if the nature of Simone's secret concerned them in any way he could always let them in on it later.

It took a great deal of convincing to get Simone to meet up with him, as his constant questioning of her silence had left her very suspicious of him and any attempts to get her on her own. In the end, it was Simone's never failing protectiveness of Thea that worked. Severus simply said someone's pet rat had injured itself and was holed up in an empty classroom and Thea was off like a rocket, Simone left with no choice but to follow.

Sever may have solved the problem of getting Simone to the meeting point, but that didn't mean getting her to open up was any easier.

"Just tell me," Severus said exasperated.

Simone put her hands on her hips, glaring at him, "How many times do I have to tell you that's it's NONE of your business, Snape?"

"What about me? Can I know?" A smiling Nesme asked from her seat on the teacher's desk.

Simone fixed Nesme with a bland look, "No."

"Oh well," Nesme shrugged, the girl going back to looking merrily around the room, swinging her feet.

Lily decided to intervene before any new arguing could ensue, "Can the rest of us perhaps get some clarity, here?"

"Yeah, you just sort of called us here and started having a go at each other," Mary added, "What gives?"

Severus pointed at the two Slytherin girls, "Simone and Thea left Slughorn's party before me. Now, I would have thought this meant they should arrive at our dorms before I did, but they got there after me, looking quite rattled, might I add."

Everyone turned to look at Simone and Thea, the latter hiding partially behind the former.

"At breakfast the next day," Severus continued, "The pair were still in similar states of alarm and concern when I arrived at our table and were very closed lipped as to why. Sine them, no amount of effort on my part has been able to get them talking and I for one am sick of the secrecy."

Severus turned to Simone and Thea, a stern look on his face, "Enough secrets. This clearly isn't the typical juicy gossip between girls or an embarrassing incident or problem you'd like to keep secret. You're worried about something and if it holds any danger for the rest of us or Hogwarts itself, I suggest you start talking."

Simone and Thea exchanged uneasy looks.

Severus sighed, "I didn't want to have to reveal my own hand unless necessary, but…if you tell me your secret then I'll tell you mine," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of parchment, "The one slipped into my pocket by an anonymous someone at Slughorn's party."

Simone perked up, as did everyone else.

"Sev, you didn't tell me something left you a note," Lily said, hurt.

"I honestly wasn't sure if I should tell anyone," Severus admitted, "It's written like a riddle; whoever sent it clearly didn't want this information to be solved by just anyone."

"Well if it's a riddle it should be a cinch for me," Davis stated, "It is what my house is known for."

Simone eyed the paper warily, a hint of curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

"So what does it say?" she asked, reaching for the paper.

Severus held the paper out of her reach, "Your secret first, then mine."

"You should go first since your secret is right here," Simone shot back, "Mine might take a bit of explaining…and even then I'm not sure if you'll all believe me."

Severus narrowed his eyes, displeased with her response.

"It really is a difficult tale to tell," Thea said to placate Severus, "We may need to show you rather than tell you."

"The hell we're taking them there," Simone growled, causing Thea to shrink in on herself. Seeing this, Simone's eyes softened, remorse in her gaze, "Sorry, Thea. I'm just…still a little uneasy about the whole thing."

"Is this something you two would like to share with the class," Severus drawled in annoyance.

Nesme snickered behind him.

"It's cause we're in a classroom!"

"I get it, Nesme," Davis said tiredly.

Simone glared at Severus, "Your secret first; that's the only way I'm talking. But I promise you…it's big…real big."

Severus huffed, "Fine. This is what I got—well everyone come and look," he snapped when everyone stayed where they were.

"You sure it's not cursed or anything, right?" Davis asked as he approached.

Severus shook his head, "I did all the necessary checks myself. Nothing came up."

"I'm surprised it wasn't enchanted to appear as gibberish or invisible to anyone who wasn't its intended recipient," Simone mused peering at the note.

"A secret hidden among pompous pride," Lily read, "That means you have to find something?"

"That's what it sounds like," Severus guessed, "And I guess I have to get whoever is hiding it to tell me, according to the 'loose lips' part."

"Technically, that line could mean that whoever hide whatever it is can be coaxed into talking or already has been," Davis pointed out, "After all, the note's author could have acquired the knowledge themselves by being told by the hider."

"And what's with that name at the end," Nesme asked, "Babbity? Like the from the children's story? That's a weird way to sign off."

"Well I doubt someone who went to the trouble of writing this in riddle would then just sign their real name," Simone said.

"Do you think Babbity is in itself a clue to the writer's identity?" Thea inquired.

Simone shrugged, "That or it was just a name they thought of on the fly. Who knows?"

"Okay, so what we at least know for sure is that whoever is hiding it is pompous and likes to brag," Mary surmised, "That could be Potter or Black. Hell, it could be half of Slytherin—no offense," she added to Simone and Severus.

"None taken," Severus and Simone answered together.

"We're assuming the hidden thing is even at Hogwarts," Lily stated, looking over the riddle, "It doesn't actually drop us a clue implying it's  _here_."

"Even if it was, we haven't the foggiest idea where to start looking," Severus said with a sigh.

"Um…we might…" Simone offered up hesitantly.

Everyone looked at her.

Simone scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, "I don't know if the note is connected to it at all or unrelated, but if we're looking for things that are hidden Thea and I found a place perfect for that…"

"By any chance is this part of your secret?" Severus asked.

Simone nodded, "Yeah, we found it on our way to the dorms that night. A secret room full of tons of things people hid or threw away…and what we found inside there wasn't good."

"And this potentially bad thing was in a secret room, you say?" Severus asked, skeptical.

"I know how it sounds," Simone stated, "But it's true. We were on the seventh floor, just wandering. I didn't feel like going to bed right that moment and I hadn't found Amadeus yet so I figured we might as well look for him. We had reached the end of one hall and were heading into a new one when Thea's gecko decided to take off on us."

"So you chased it," Severus surmised.

"Yeah," Simone said, "We had it corner against a wall and while Thea was trying to catch it, the wall sort of…changed. Like a big door appeared out of nowhere."

"Really?" Mary asked, "Just 'proof' and it was there?"

Thea shook her head, "No, it slowly transformed out of the stone itself. Everything morphed and folded into place and there it was; a door."

"You do realize how unlikely that sounds," Severus pointed out, "Even with magic. No incantations, no spells, it just happened on its own…?"

"I know what I saw and if you don't believe me I'll show you," Simone said in frustration, "But you all have to promise me; you won't mess with that item I spoke up, and you'll tell no one of that place."

"I promise," Davis said readily, the chance at new discovery intriguing his knowledge hungry mind.

"Me too," Lily said.

"And me," said Mary.

"Me too, I promise too," said Nesme eagerly, practically bouncing in place, "Let's go see it!"

Simone turned to Severus expectantly.

"Do I look like the sharing type to begin with?" Severus drawled.

Simone led the others through the halls. Everyone tried to act casual since they didn't want anyone to become suspicious. Last thing they needed was to be followed. So they engaged in idle chit chat, feigning interests in humdrum topics like Professors Binns classes and what gossip was going around the school lately.

Fortunately for them, the seventh floor halls weren't commonly in use at this hour, no classes in session right at the moment and hardly any students wandering around.

"Right here," Simone announced, pointing at the wall in front of them, "Right across from that dusty old tapestry."

Everyone stared at the blank wall, not seeing a single thing out of place.

Nesme was buzzing with excitement, nearly vibrating with it.

"So it just appeared," Severus asked, stepping forward to examine the stone bricks, "There doesn't appear to be anything here. No lines in indicate a hidden passageway or any mechanisms to be pushed. How did you open it?"

Simone shrugged, "I don't know; it just opened."

"Maybe one of the bricks pushes in," Lily suggested, coming to stand next to Severus. She felt along the wall, "Surely it didn't open by chance."

"Perhaps it is a sequence of steps," Davis theorized, "Maybe the floor is the trigger and you have to step on it in just the right way." He turned to Thea, "How were you standing when you caught Jerva? Did you step here in any particular way?"

Thea raised her hands helplessly and shrugged with a shake of her head, "I can't remember how."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Nesme cried out, hand in the air like she was in class, "Let me try something. I've got an idea."

Simone gestured to the wall, "Have at it."

Nesme walked up to the wall and stared at it, her eyes narrowed.

"You say you found a room of hidden things?" she asked Simone.

Simone nodded, "Yeah."

Nesme turned back to the wall, her face set in determination. Scrunching her face up in thought, she walked back and forth in front of the wall several times.

Davis snorted, bemused, "Nes, what are you doing—"

On Nesme's third pass by the door, it happened—the floor around them rumbled and the wall in front of them began to change. Stone shifted and reshaped itself, grout and dust raining down and rock crumbling to give way to wooden and metal.

When it was all over, a large door stood before them.

"No way…" Mary breathed.

Severus and Lily looked on in shock and bewilderment.

"I knew it!" Nesme exclaimed, jumping up and down, "I knew, I knew it, I knew it!"

"How did you do that?" Davis nearly shouted.

"Don't you see," Nesme asked, spinning around to face everyone, "This is the 'Come and Go' Room!"

"The what?" Simone asked blankly.

Nesme rolled her eyes, "The 'Come and Go' room. Surely you've all heard the stories?"

At everyone's blanks stares she groaned.

"It's a room that appears to you when you need something," Nesme explained, "When I was younger, I overheard an older student talking about it. His name was Tonks something…or something Tonks….whatever. Anyway, he use to use this room to meet with his girlfriend without her sister finding out. He said it is rumored to take the shape of whatever sort of room you need." She turned back around to the door, "And it must be true if your room contained something else. You just walk back and forth three times thinking real hard and BAM! Instant door."

Simone approached the door, running her hand along the polished wood, "Come to think of it, Thea and I  _were_  talking about where Amadeus could have hidden my bracelet."

"And where one would hide things in general," added Thea, "Hard to believe such a place exists."

"So it just magicks up a room?" Severus asked Nesme, "It isn't just bringing in a preexisting room from some other part of the world through a temporal plane?"

Nesme shook her head, though she probably didn't understand what a temporal plane was, "Not that I know of. It just creates it out of nothing."

"So then when then room disappears, where does everything inside go?" Severus inquired.

"How should I know?" Nesme replied.

"Let's worry about that later," Lily offered in compromise, "Right now, I think Simone has something she wants to show us?"

Simone nodded, her face grave, "Follow me."

 

{page break}

 

Back in the Gyffindor common room, James Potter was sitting in a corner of the room with his friends, looking over his map. The mischievous reputation he and his friends amassed often ensure people gave them their space unless invited, so James felt safe to have the map out in public in their private little corner.

Around him, his friends sat doing various things to pass the time. Sirius was scribbling a rather unflattering picture of Professor Binns being primarily comprised of farts instead of doing his homework.

Peter was attempting to memorize the flash cards Remus so kindly made him to help him remember what charm does what, though he was having trouble concentrating with Sirius giggling to himself.

Remus sat in an armchair by himself reading a muggle book Lily loaned him. It was a poetry book containing old poems from long before either of them were born. His favorite poem so far was  _Bisclavret_ , the tale of a werewolf who avenges the cruelties bestowed upon him by his unfaithful wife with the help of a kindly king who accepts his condition and invites him to live in his castle for all his days.

James studied his map closer, eyes trained a particular group of names.

"What are they up to…" he wondered aloud.

"I hope you're not using that thing to spy on a certain Slytherin," Remus said without taking his eyes off his book.

"Relax Moony, it's nothing like that," James assured, "I'm just wondering what Lily is doing hanging out all the way on the seventh floor. She's with several other people and they're just standing by a wall for some reason." He decided not to mention that Snape was one of the names in that group.

"Spying on Lily isn't much better," Remus said, lowering his book to frown at James, "I thought you were going to give her space this year."

"I am," James protested, "That doesn't mean I don't care about her safety. Wilkes and his lot are still in this school, aren't they? I just want to make sure she isn't off anywhere alone with those creeps wandering the halls."

"I'd hate to run into Wilkes or Rosier alone," Peter admitted.

"They'd hex you into a pile of little Peter flakes," Sirius said with a grin, making Peter cringe.

"Not funny, Sirius," Remus chided, giving Peter a gentle smile, "We won't leave you alone with the likes of them, Peter."

Peter gave Remus a relieved smile.

"They're gone!" James cried out suddenly.

"Who's gone?" Sirius asked, sitting up.

James pointed at the map, "Lily. T-the names, they just vanished."

James pointed to the spot he last saw Lily as his friends crowded around him, "That's where they all were, but then suddenly they just disappeared."

"They can't disappear, mate," Sirius assured him, looking through the map, "Maybe they moved down the hall and you just missed it."

James shook his head, "No, I was staring right at them. One minute they were there and the next they were gone." He searched over the parchment frantically, "They're nowhere else on the map!"

"Calm down, James," Remus soothed, "The map can't be accurate all the time. I mean, it's got hundreds of names to keep track of all at once, surely there will be some slip ups from time to time. Look," he pointed to their common room, a large mass of names piled indiscernibly on top of one another, "There's so many of us in here you can't even make out our own names. Maybe something similar is happening with Lily and her friends."

James considered Remus words, "Maybe…but there weren't any other people around them on the map for them to get caught up in. How could they simply vanish?"

"Like I said, maybe the map screwed up," Remus pressed, "There isn't anything to go into where they were standing, so they couldn't have just walked into nothing."

"Maybe Snape found out a way to go undetected," Sirius suggested.

James nodded, "Maybe."

Remus looked up sharply, "I thought you said you weren't spying on him, James."

James held his hands up, "I wasn't I was spying on Lily—I mean, watching out for her. It's not my fault that the girl I wanted to check up on happens to be with him at this moment."

"So the fact that they were together at all in no way effected your decision to spy on Lily?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Honest," James promised, "There wasn't a single prank I had in mind; I was just checking up on Lily."

Remus stared James down, searching for a lie. When his friend's face remained blank, he sighed, "Fine. Just don't let me catch you following him, got it?"

"Got it," replied James.

"Still is weird they're not on the map anymore," Peter said quietly, staring at the empty spot on the map.

 

{page break}

 

"You're sure you threw it over here?" Severus asked, climbing over a collection of old shoes and hairbrushes.

"Positive," Simone's voice called out from behind a stack of books, "it flew in this direction."

Mary managed to climb on top of an armoire so she could see better.

"This room is full of junk," she exclaimed, "How does anyone find anything in here?"

"I imagine the first few people who began hiding things here didn't expect it to be so popular," Lily guessed, picking up an old bust of a particularly sour-faced man.

Severus tripped over a wicker basket and fell face first into the cushion of a chair, getting a mouthful of dust and mothballs.

"This is ridiculous!" he snarled, spitting and coughing in disgust, "Just summon the blasted thing to you, Serapeum."

"Good idea," Simone agreed, " _Accio, hatbox_ —ACK!" There was a loud clatter as the sound of many things colliding together filled the room.

"What happened?" Lily asked worriedly.

"Apparently there are a lot of hatboxes in here," Simone's voice came from around a corner of the junk maze, "I barely had time to get Thea out of the way."

"Thanks for that, by the way," Thea said.

"Don't thank me too much…I shoved you into a cabinet," Simone pointed out wryly.

"Did you find the box you put it in," Severus asked impatiently.

"No, none of these boxes are it. It's sort of strange because I thought the spell work on containers even if they carried things inside them," Simone sounded very perplexed.

Davis sighed from somewhere to Severus's left, "Just summon the item itself, Sim."

"That was my next plan," Simone said hastily, _"Accio...tiara."_

There was a few moments of silence as everyone waited for something to happen. Nothing did.

" _Accio crown,"_  Simone tried.

Still nothing.

" _Accio diadem,"_  Davis called out.

His attempt yielded the same results.

"Diadem?" Simone asked with a snort.

"Some crowns are called Diadems," Davis explained.

' _An item enchanted to not be summoned,'_  Severus thought,  _'That does not bode well…'_

"There's got to be some way of finding it," Mary stated, "We can't just search through every pile until we do."

"I found it!" Nesme yelled.

"What?" Simone cried.

"It's a hat box," Nesme continued as everyone followed her voice, "It's all tied up in ropes and somethings rattling around inside it."

"That's the one," Simone said, "How the hell did you find it?"

They rounded a pile of shredded feather pillows to find Nesme holding a hatbox with a proud grin on her face.

"Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders," she recited proudly.

Put out that she didn't find it herself, Simone took the proffered box with a pout, "I could have found it eventually."

Nesme patted her back, "Of course you could."

Glaring at Nesme, Simone turned her attention to the box, worry clouding her features.

"It's in here," she said seriously.

Vanishing the ropes, she cautiously opened the lid of the box and showed her friends.

"It is a tiara," Mary oohed.

"It's just jewelry," Severus said dismissively, not seeing the appeal.

Lily elbowed him, "It's still pretty."

"When we found it, I felt…compelled to put it on," Simone explained, "There's some force around it that urges you to. I nearly did, but stopped myself in time…only to face consequences."

"Like what," Severus inquired.

"A pain like I had never felt before," Simone answered, "It felt like my head was being split open, like something had seared through my brain and nearly teared me in two."

"It made her nose bleed," Thea added fearfully.

"It did that just from you holding it?" Mary asked, shocked.

Simone nodded, "That's not all though. We felt something inside it. A presence. We could feel it…hear it."

Everyone looked at Simone horrified.

Davis looked at the tiara, scrutinizing it.

"There's something really familiar about this thing," he said, "It almost looks like the lost Diadem of Rowena."

Simone looked down into the box, "It does?"

Davis nodded, "I'm surprised you don't recognize it. One of the only portraits of her wearing the diadem is painted on the wall of Ravenclaw's common room. You've seen it."

Simone looked closer at the tiara in the box, "They do look similar."

"It's said the portrait must have been painted after the diadem was already lost," Davis went on, "Because Rowena didn't wear it for the painting and asked them to paint it in based on her description." He pointed to the large jewel in the center of the tiara they had before them, "But that stone, was definitely in the painting."

Nesme gasped, "Does this mean that  _we_  found the lost diadem?"

"But something's wrong with it now," Lily pointed out with a frown.

"Maybe that's why it needed to stay lost," Severus said darkly.

Everyone looked at him.

"Objects aren't supposed to call to you," Severus stated, "Or hurt you by means unseen. You can charm a clock to tell the time out loud or make a teacup bite, but those are just silly tricks." He placed his hand over the box, "But this…this has consciousness…a malicious one if Simone is to be believed."

"I can feel it even now," Thea said, a quaver to her voice, "Can't any of you?"

Everyone concentrated, standing in silence.

"I hear whispering," Nesme admitted, one of the closest to the box.

Mary shivered, "Is it colder in here?" She drifted her hand over the box, pausing, "It's weird…it's like cold and hot at the same time. A deathly chill, but pulses warmth…"

Davis picked the diadem up, much to everyone's protests.

"It can't be that bad," he chided them, examining the item.

"So do you feel anything?" Simone asked.

Davis shrugged, "Not really. It's just an old tiara, I can't imagine why people have sought so hard to find it since it went missing…"

"Just because it seems like nothing doesn't mean it isn't something," Severus pointed out.

Davis didn't answer right away, his eyes fixed on the diadem.

"I don't see anything wrong with it," he said slowly. He sounded odd.

"But that doesn't mean there isn't something wrong with it," Severus insisted in exasperation.

"So you're saying you know better than me?" came out the harsh reply from Davis.

Severus blinked, "…What?"

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Davis said slowly, lazily even. He turned to Severus with a glare, "You don't know everything.  _I'm_  the Ravenclaw. You're just some Slytherin wanna-be trying to be a bigshot."

"Where is this coming from?" Severus asked, surprised by Davis's hostility.

"Stop trying to show everyone up all the time!" Davis exclaimed, taking a step towards Severus, prompting the Slytherin to reach for his wand, "Did it ever cross your mind that someone else might have the answer for once?"

"Davis, what's wrong with you?" Simone shouted.

As the others yelled and argued with Davis about his behavior, Nesme stood there wringing her hands. Eyes landing on the diadem, Nesme slapped it out of Davis's hand without a second thought and it fell back into the box.

Like a cloud was lifting, Davis's face cleared, "i-I'm sorry...I don't know what came over me..."

"Care to explain what that was about?" Simone asked harshly.

"I'm not sure. I didn't feel anything at first," Davis admitted, "But you know, the longer I stood there holding it things just sort of started to feel…wrong," he wrung his hands, looking for a way to explain, "I felt…off somehow. It's made me feel…not right…"

"Angry," Severus supplied, "It made you feel angry. I felt it too."

Davis nodded, "Yeah, like irritated in some way…" he looked around at his friends, his eyes narrowing, "Looking at you…it was like I was seeing you all for the first time…and I didn't like it…but none of you acted that way when you touched it..."

"Whatever is causing it might have a stronger affect on some of us than others," Simone suggested, "Snape said he felt it to some degree."

"This thing has some bad vibes, guys," Nesme pointed out, "What could cause that."

Simone looked down at the box, "Well it's obviously a form of dark magic. As to what precisely, you would need to ask an expert."

All eyes went to Severus.

Severus rolled his eyes, "Oh sure, single me out."

"Severus do you have any idea what is going on?" Lily asked gently.

Severus examined the tiara from a distance, not willing to touch it, "Well the whispering and humming you all hear is clearly a compulsion charm; a strong one at that. Not necessarily dark magic, but it's being used to make you want to put on an item with potentially foul curses on it."

"What about the…'wrongness' of it?" Simone asked.

"That could also be a spell," Severus guessed, "One designed to make passersby wary of it, afraid of it."

"Why would someone do that?" Davis asked.

Severus shrugged, "My best bet is whoever hid this wanted to scare others away from it and…'take care of' those who didn't turn tail and run."

"And the anger?" Thea prompted, "The way it was affecting Davis? How do you explain that?"

"And what about how it feels…I don't know, alive somehow?" Mary added.

"That I don't know," Severus confessed, "Truthfully, those attributes are something I've never encountered in any of my reading or research."

"Why didn't you go to Dumbledore?" Lily asked Simone, taking a step away from the box.

"And tell him what? That I found a magical tiara in a room that doesn't exist?" Simone snapped, "If he didn't think I was crazy, the rest of the staff would have thought I was making things up. Plus, I don't really want anything questionable in the hands of a headmaster who's own moral compass doesn't always land on fair and good."

"He has made some questionable calls over the years," Severus agreed.

Lily sighed, remembering the werewolf incident Severus went through, "That he has."

"But that doesn't change that this thing is dangerous," Severus declared, "We should destroy it." He fixed Simone with a level stare, "You should have done that to begin with."

Simone glared at him, "You didn't feel what it did to me! I panicked, okay?!"

"Let's not fight amongst ourselves," Thea intervened, "Severus is right, we need to destroy it before someone else finds it. I doubt the results are good if you actually are foolish enough to put it on your head."

"Agreed," said Severus, taking the box from Simone and setting it on the ground, "We should all stand back."

Everyone spread out, putting distance between themselves and the box.

" _Sectumsempra,"_  Severus said, slashing his wand at the diadem.

The spell flew towards the diadem and dissolved into nothing.

Severus blinked, "That should have worked."

"Try confringo," Simone suggested, "Maybe it will be stronger if we try together."

"I'll help too," said Lily, wand at the ready.

The three of them pointed their wands at the diadem.

" _Confringo!"_  they shouted.

Instead of exploding like it should have, the diadem remained intact, the spell reflecting off it like a mirror.

" _Expulso,"_  Lily tried.

" _Incendio!"_  Severus commanded.

" _Reducto!"_  Simone yelled angrily.

The trio threw a series of spells, hexes, and curses at the diadem, the others joining in when it became apparent none of their attempts were working. For a full five minutes, the frantic teens threw all the magic they knew at the diadem, all to no effect.

Simone dropped to her knees, stunned, "What sort of magic is this?" she asked.

"We need something stronger," Severus panted, "Whatever dark magic is in this thing can't be destroyed by the standard spells."

"We don't know anything stronger!" Simone growled, "And even if we did, I doubt we'd get away with using them in a school."

Mary came over to place a hand on Severus's shoulder, kneeling by him.

"So what do we do now?" she asked him.

"For now we bind it," Severus declared, "We seal it away and stash it somewhere in here, where no one else would think to look."

"We should at least tell one of the professors," Lily suggested, "This thing is dangerous to the school."

"We don't know what we're up against yet," Severus pointed out, "You saw what it did to Davis; it changed him. What's to say it wouldn't have a similar effect on someone else? Someone with the ability to do some legitimate damage." The idea of someone as powerful as Dumbledore being manipulated into turning on his students the way Davis nearly turned on Severus was a worrying thought, "No, we best find out what we're dealing with first and keep this thing hidden in the meantime."

"We better find something better than a hatbox then," Thea pointed out.

"And tie it up," Davis added, "Lots of ropes, both real ones and magical ones for good measure."

Lily looked around them, scanning the piles, "Everyone be prepared to duck."

Mary blinked, "Why?"

" _Accio lock box!"_  Lily said, raising her wand.

There were some crashes in the room and they all barely had enough time to run for cover before several boxes and safes came bursting through the piles around them, sending various items flying.

"A little warning next time," Simone muttered from where she was was half crouched over Thea under a piano bench.

Lily grinned sheepishly, "Sorry."

Coming out of their hiding places, everyone picked through the boxes that Lily summoned. Some were metal, some wooden, some had big padlocks on them and some had simple knobs to turn.

"This one's no good," Davis announced, putting a box off to the side.

"This one either," said Mary.

"What about this one?" Thea asked, holding up an odd wooden box with intricate carvings and gold embellishments. On the front was a series of sliders and knobs interlocking together.

"That's a puzzle box!" Nesme said excitedly.

Severus took the box and examined it, "It's magically reinforced; it should stand up to most spells."

"But look, it was already locked by somebody," Davis stated, reaching over to fiddle with the locking mechanism, "Each time you lock it you can set your own puzzle to keep it sealed. I doubt we can get into it—I got it," he added with a start as the locked clicked and opened.

"Ravenclaws," Simone snorted.

Thea picked up the diadem with a discarded handkerchief she found among the rubble and junk, carrying it carefully over to Davis.

"Is the box empty?" she asked.

Davis peered inside, "It's just filled with old love letters from some Baron to a woman by the looks of it."

"As long as the diadem fits inside, those can stay," Severus said, "I see no point in tossing them out and making more of a mess."

Cautiously, they placed the diadem inside the puzzle box.

Closing the lid, Severus handed the box off to Davis, "You're the one who solved the last puzzle lock on it; makes this one near unsolvable."

"I'll do my best," Davis replied, getting to work moving all the sliders and knobs into place.

When he was finished, Simone summoned a rope from the room and tied it tightly around the box before Severus conjured a magical one to bind it with as well.

"We need a good hiding place," Simone said, standing up with the box.

Mary cocked her head to the side, listening, "Does anybody hear that? It sounds like something's moving."

Everybody strained to hear the sound. Sure enough, they could all hear something shifting and moving, like stone dragging on stone. It was coming from the back of the room.

"Stay sharp," Severus warned, keeping his wand out in front of him.

Warily, everyone followed the sound to the far end of the room, prepared for sudden danger.

However, it wasn't an enemy they found, but a change in the room. The back wall was opening up in the middle, rearranging itself. The stones continued to shift until there was a little opening in the center.

"Did the room just make that for us?" Simone questioned, turning to Nesme.

Nesme shrugged, "Well it is a room for whatever you need."

"Good enough," Severus said, taking the box from Simone. He placed it in the hole and they all watched as the stone slowly resealed itself, closing over the nook until all that remained was a blank wall again.

"Now what?" Mary asked.

"Now we figure out what that thing is," Severus told everyone turning to face his friends, "And how to destroy it."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It took a while to write with all the Christmas hullabaloo going on around here.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter cleared up some things about the Horcrux. Simone and Thea cannot sense Horcruxes like Harry, since Harry was a Horcrux and they are not. What they felt were lingering enchantments placed on the Horcrux by Tom as an extra security measure. Keep in mind that judging by the number of things in the room, other people have come across the room of requirement at some point or other. So while Riddle had a vast area of junk to hide the Diadem in, he probably was aware there would be an off chance of someone finding it, however slim a chance that may be. So he would probably take some measures to ensure whoever did find it was either scared away by it or harmed or killed if they were foolish enough to pursue it still. He cursed the ring Horcrux to painfullyvkill whoever wore it, so he would probably do the same with the diadem.
> 
> Read and review :)


	36. Meeting Myrtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus meets our resident sack of sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back for yet another rousing chapter, eh folks?
> 
> As usual I am floored by the number of follows, favs, and reviews from all you wonderful people. Your questions are lovely, your suggestions helpful and thought provoking, and your praise uplifting.
> 
> So we're slowing things down a little bit today with a slightly shorter chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

It had been nearly a week since sealing the diadem in the 'Come and Go Room' and Severus was sad to say he was no closer to figuring out how to destroy it. He also had not figured out the answer to the riddle given to him on Halloween. To say it frustrated him would be an understatement.

Severus and his friends wasted no time in beginning their research on the former matter, but came up short. Any book containing knowledge on the diadem itself was despairingly brief and uninformative, instead going on and on about its craftsmanship and the legend of its disappearance. There were no implications of it ever possessing harmful intent or curses being placed on it and researching the concept of an object whispering or luring in victims had yielded only information on average compulsion spells, which weren't dark or malicious enough on their own to give off such an imposing presence as the diadem had.

Severus realized pretty quick that the only possible information to be found was most likely locked up in the restricted section, which required teacher permission to access.

Thea and Simone, while not generally considered troublemakers, would most likely draw Dumbeldore's suspicion if they requested permission, since he seemed to paint most Slytherins with the same brush unless the nearly died in valor fitting of a Gryffindor the way Severus almost did.

Nesme, Lily, and Mary all came off as too bubbly, too good to show an interest in the controversial or dark secrets in the restricted section, so any of them asking for permission would certainly be met with scrutiny.

Davis was the only one who could probably get into the restricted section without any teacher or student batting an eye as most would assume it purely academic in nature with Ravenclaws reputation for scholarly pursuits. He'd accessed the restricted section several times throughout the years for extra credit assignments. Alas, he had already received permission once this term already and Madam Pince had a rule of one allowance in per term unless granted permission by the Headmaster himself.

That left Severus and he knew he definitely couldn't ask. There were too many dark magic books in the restricted section for Severus to ask for access without it coming off as worrisome. While the professors genuinely saw the change for the good in him rumors of his change of heart being just an act still ran rampant enough that a professor may question is interest in accessing the most private section of the library.

And so Severus and his friends were seemingly at a dead end in regards to the diadem and how to eliminate the potential threat it held.

Davis and Thea took several stabs at solving the riddle given to Severus about another hidden item, but so far, they had come up with no more than they already did the day he showed everyone the note.

There was little doubt in anyone's mind that the item the riddle referred to was not the diadem. The riddle spoke of pride and arrogance, most likely the person hiding the item. While Simone was certainly a proud person, the riddle implied the person had revealed the secret out of arrogance, while Simone revealed the diadem because they insisted she should and she feared the diadem enough to want their help.

There was also the matter of the part about 'those who serve unseen' and the whispers they heard. The diadem did whisper to them, but the riddle implied that a servant would show them the location, most likely secretly having heard the keeper of the item discussing it. That was the most anyone could gleam from the note. They had no idea who was the prideful and bragging keeper of the item, what the item was, and who held the knowledge to show it to them. They also had no clue who sent the note, the hidden meaning behind penname "Babbity" eluding them.

Severus growled under his breath, startling a group of first years passing him in the hall and sending them scurrying back the way they came. It irked Severus that he hadn't found the answers yet. The diadem posed a threat to people that Severus could not ignore, primarily because Lily and Mary made up two of those people in danger (he supposed he would be upset should anything happen to his new friends as well). As for the unknown item from the note, it was clear whoever sent the note to him felt whatever was hidden needed to be found as soon as possible and the author of the note feared retribution enough to wish to remain anonymous.

As Severus brooded to himself about the unfairness of a problem too difficult for the likes of him to solve, he spied something very curious up ahead of him.

Remus Lupin quietly walked up to one of the first floor bathrooms, attempting to appear casual as a few straggling students passed him without a glance in his direction. What made his destination so curious was that the bathroom he intended to enter was the  _girl's_  bathroom.

Severus silently approached Lupin while his back was turned, the scarred boy about to enter the bathroom, "I would expected such deviant behavior from the likes of Black or even Potter, but you surprise me, Lupin."

Lupin jumped and whirled around, "Snape!'

"Perhaps you're more of a dog than a wolf, hm?" Severus inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not what you think," Remus said hurriedly.

"Oh? Do tell," Severus drawled, leaning against the wall.

Remus looked around them awkwardly, "You probably weren't aware since you're a guy, but no girl uses this bathroom anymore. They haven't for fifty years at least."

"And why it that," Severus asked.

"It's haunted," Remus replied.

Severus leveled Remus with a bland look, "Need I remind you that the school is  _full_  of ghosts?"

"Yeah, but aside from the Bloody Baron or Grey Lady, most of them are pleasant to be around," Lupin stated, "Moaning Myrtle…she's sort of hard to put up with for some."

Severus snorted, "Moaning Myrtle?"

"That's what people nicknamed her," Remus said sadly, "It's because she's always crying. That's how I found out about it, in fact. I was walking down this hall in my third year when I heard someone crying—well not exactly crying, more like wailing if I'm being honest—she can be rather loud when she wants to."

"The point, Lupin," Severus interrupted, "Please get to it."

Remus blushed, "Right…so when I went to see what's wrong Myrtle was floating around sobbing. I asked if she was okay and we got to talking. She's lonely, you know; she didn't have many friends when she was alive."

"How did she die?" Severus asked.

Remus shrugged, "I didn't think it polite to ask."

"So you visit her to cheer her up?" Severus guessed.

Remus nodded, "She's never actually very happy, but at least she's less sad when I come around. She used to get bullied a lot before she died and I guess some people still come by to tease her; she didn't exactly pick the moniker 'Moaning Myrtle'. I didn't tell my friends about her because she's very sensitive and I thought—"

"You thought they would only make her feel worse," Severus cut him off, "Yes, I imagine they would be rather unsympathetic to a bullied student, especially one who's no longer human or alive. They'd probably make a game of throwing balls of wadded up toilet paper through her."

Remus cringed, "I don't think they'd go that far, but they would probably say things without thinking." He gestured to the bathroom, "Would you…uh…like to meet her?"

"Why because I'm a victim of bullying as well?" Severus asked sourly.

"No!" Lupin backpedaled, "I just thought….maybe…"

Severus smiled wickedly, "You're too easy, Lupin." He walked passed Remus, "Come on, you might as well introduce me."

The girl's bathroom was indeed as in disuse as Lupin claimed. A fine layer of dust coated nearly every surface with cobwebs taking up residence in high corners and under the sinks. Judging by the filth being bad but not severe, Severus would hazard a guess that the house elves must clean this bathroom once a year and no more than that.

Stalls with doors barely sitting on their hinges framed the sides of the room, water pooling across the floor from a toilet here or there. The large stain glass window on the far side of the room had acquired a rather impressive amount of grim over the years, allowing little natural light to peer through and what small bit of sunlight did get through was cast in a cold gray hue.

The center of the room held a column with sinks circling it, all in various states of brokenness, one even missing part of the faucet and another sink cracked so severely that water would most likely leak out enough to drench the unfortunate user's shoes before it wet their hands.

"Who's come to pick on me now?" came a wobbly voice.

A ghost floated up out of one of the stalls to glare at them.

A squat girl in a school robe, Myrtle was short and on the thicker side. With a noticeable amount of pimples dotting her forehead and nose, her thin lips and oversized glasses did little for her appearance. The pigtails didn't help much either, giving the would be teen a rather childish, immature look to her. While not ugly per say, the perpetual scowl and wibbling lip twisted her features to something less pleasing to the eye and put a person immediately in discomfort in her presence.

For a brief moment, Severus wondered if that was how he came off to others when he refused to smile…

"G'morning, Myrtle," Remus said brightly, "I told you I'd stop by."

Myrtle looked shortly relieved to see a familiar, friendly face. When she turned to Severus, her eyes narrowed.

"You don't usually bring company with you," she told Remus warily.

Remus cast a look at Severus, hesitant, "Oh him? Well you see, he sort of….I thought it would be nice to—"

Severus took over with ease, "A pleasure to meet you, Myrtle. I myself can say that I too have suffered unfair mistreatment by my classmates over things as vain and petty as appearance."

Myrtle eyed Severus suspiciously. She looked him up and down, taking in his large nose and pale skin.

"I suppose you have," she conceded.

Rather than be insulted by this, Severus pushed onward.

"People seem to be under the foolish impression that outside appearances are make up who a person is, what makes them a good person," He sniffed derisively, "As if the 'conventionally pretty' have anything going for them aside from looks. Half of them are complete imbeciles or insufferable to the core."

Seemingly on board now, Myrtle nodded eagerly, "They are, aren't they. Olive Hornby always made fun of my glasses, acting like she was queen bee for being voted the 'nicest eyes' in our class. But you know, she had terrible grades and she was meaner than a wet cat! What's attractive about that?"

"Absolutely nothing," Severus stated, "She sounds abhorrent."

"Ooh, she was," Myrtle said, floating down closer to the boys, "She was a truly dreadful person. I would have haunted her for the rest of her life if the ministry hadn't restricted me to the castle."

"A lack of foresight on their part," Severus said, "Clearly someone that foul could have used a good lesson taught to her."

Myrtle giggled coquettishly.

"I like this friend of your," she told Remus.

Not sure what to make of the exchange, Remus could only nod, "Yeah…he's something, alright."

Myrtle giggled some more, floating lazily about the room.

"Good work winning her over," Remus whispered to Severus, "But you don't need to act so hard."

"Who's acting," Severus whispered back, "I happen to think it entirely unjustified and cruel to mock someone for their looks and anyone who takes pleasure in doing so deserves more than their share of retribution."

Lupin looked away, shame clear on his features, "I am sorry about how we treated you over the years."

"The only actions you can apologize for are you own, Lupin," Severus told him sternly, "I have no use for platitudes from you on their behalf when they offer none of their own and show no signs of regret. You're doing their work for them again, Lupin, just as you always have."

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked.

Severus sighed, "I had been meaning to speak to you alone for some time; I suppose this is as good a chance as any given present company," he gestured to Myrtle floating above their heads, lost in her own reminiscence of haunting her old classmate, if her murmurings were anything to go by.

Severus turned to face Lupin fully, "You can't deny that over the years it has become necessary for you to play a certain role of reason within your little group now and again. More than once you have been forced to clean up their messes or talk them out of something supremely stupid that would no doubt result in more than just detention."

"True…" Remus agreed.

"However, in recent years your promotion to prefect has done little to enforce your authority with them. In fact, I dare say you forsake your responsibilities out of fear of losing their friendship."

Remus grinned sheepishly, "I think we covered this back when you and Lily visited, but yes that's true. So?"

"Lupin, has it ever occurred to you that your so called friends might be aware of this fear and using it to their advantage?" Severus asked bluntly.

Lupin was taken aback, "What?"

"Taking advantage?" Severus reiterated, "Abusing their power over you by using your attachment to them as collateral?"

Lupin frowned, "Listen, I don't know where you got that idea from, Snape, but—"

"I'll tell you where I got it from," Severus interrupted, "from the fact that their 'pranks' and attacks increased threefold the moment you were appointed a prefect."

"That's just a coincidence," Remus said dismissively.

Severus wasn't buying it, "A pretty odd coincidence that the moment you had authority to halt their actions they kicked things up a notch, isn't it?"

"So as they got older their behavior got more troublesome; that's normal for teenage boys," Remus insisted, though even he was beginning to doubt his words.

"Remus," Severus said, using the boy's first name for a change, "When they see other prefects they at least try to hide their actions or make it look convincingly like someone else's fault. With you they do no such thing." He swept a hand out in front of him, "Just right out there in the open, in plain view of you they deliberately break all the rules you agreed to ensure were upheld the moment you took that badge."

Remus looked down at his prefect badge shame flickering across his face.

"They wouldn't knowingly use me," Remus defended weakly, "If they are taking advantage, surely they aren't aware of it."

"Open your eyes, for once," Severus snapped, "You were a kid with no friends and all you have in the world is them and your parents. They know you would do anything for them and they're exploiting it. They manipulate it. They're bullies!"

"Bullies?" Myrtle rejoined the conversation. With a scowl she glided down to them, hovering a foot off the floor, "What's this about bullies?"

"Lupin's friends like to pick on others for fun," Severus explained, "The only reason Remus here isn't a target for his tired appearance and shabby clothes is because he's useful to them."

"That's not the reason," Remus said angrily, "They befriended me during our first year here, before they were bullying anyone."

"Except me," Severus pointed out.

Remus's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, "Yes…but you were a special case for James."

"You're friends with bullies, Remus," Myrtle asked disappointedly, "You like watching them pick on people?"

Remus raised his hands up, "No, that's not it at all—"

"You sit back and let them hurt other's feelings," Myrtle cut off, advancing on Remus, rising higher off the ground to tower over him, "You let them get away with it—all while having that pinned to your chest?!" she jabbed a stubby finger through Remus's badge, going through his chest as the boy shuddered.

"I thought you were someone who could understand me," Myrtle sniffled, turning away from Remus and floating off towards the stalls, "Considering your…ailment…"

"Myrtle…" Remus sighed.

"But it turns out you were just coming to laugh at poor, ugly Moaning Myrtle."

"I try to stop them, Myrtle," Remus insisted, "honestly, I do. But they don't listen to me."

"A likely story," Myrtle sniffed.

Remus looked at Severus pleadingly, but the boy only shrugged his shoulders.

"It's like talking to a wall," Remus continued, "I tell them all the time that their actions are mean spirited and cruel, but they've always got some excuse. They've repeated them so many times they believe their fiction over reality at this point."

Myrtle looked over her shoulder at Remus, distrustful eyes puffy and red.

Remus sighed, "They think they're the heroes of some epic story; righting wrongs, fighting evil, but they're just three cocky teenagers taking cheap shots at people when their backs are turned and calling that a win. I don't know how to get through to them. But I swear, I have been trying," he turned to Severus, "I told them to leave you alone this year, didn't I."

"Indeed you have," Severus replied, "However, there have been some occurrences here and there when you weren't around for which the perpetrators aren't accounted for." He walked around the room casually, "A sticking charm on the pages of some of my books, a tripping jinx as I'm leaving a classroom you've already exited…"

Remus frowned heavily, "Then I'll look into it. I meant what I said; I want us to be on good terms this year, Snape. I told my friends I would report them straight to Dumbledore myself if they did anything they shouldn't."

"And that's all very well and good, but you'd need to catch them first," Severus stated.

Remus's shoulders drooped, "So you  _do_  think they're doing things behind my back."

"I guarantee it," was Severus's reply, "You don't honestly think they snuck into Slughorn's party just to douse some random girl in punch, do you?"

Remus sighed, "So you heard about that?"

"The whole school heard about it come morning," Severus said dryly, "It's pretty obvious they thought she was someone else. I don't think Potter even knows that girl's name."

"I made them promise," Remus said fretfully.

"The thing about promise is that friendship doesn't guarantee they won't be broken," Severus said, shifting uncomfortably, "Sometimes they can be broken because you assume you know better than your friend and think….that they'll see your side of things in the end." He thought about all the stupid times he told himself and Lily that associating with Avery and his ilk would have a good conclusion in the end; that he would find happiness following them.

"I'll keep a closer eye on James and the others," Remus offered, choosing not to comment on the far off look in Severus's eye, "I know how to find where they are at any time—I won't say what it is," he added after the curious look he received from Severus.

"I'm well aware of Potter's invisibility cloak," Severus informed Lupin, "Mary happened to catch a pair of disembodied hands coming through the portrait hole one evening, carrying an armful of muffins."

Remus blanched,  _'I told James not to let Peter borrow the cloak without accompanying him.'_

"Yeah the cloak," Remus said evasively, "Cat's out of the bag on that, huh?"

"Indeed," Severus said, observing Remus shrewdly, "Or perhaps you have some other trick up your sleeve? Don't tell me you can turn into a rat too?"

Remus looked up, alarm painting his features, "You know about that?!"

"Calm down, Lupin," Severus drawled, "It was harder to figure out than your furry little secret. I doubt anyone else has even the slightest idea."

Remus breathed a sigh of relief, "So no one else knows?"

"As far as I am aware of," Severus answered, "I take it you don't possess this little ability?"

Remus shook his head, "No, it was all James and Sirius' idea to transform to help me ride out the full moon each month. I told them it was a stupid idea."

"Monumentally so," Severus agreed.

"So how did you find out?" Remus asked worriedly.

"Honestly, pure dumb luck," Severus openly admitted, "I was mulling over Black's near obsessive fascination with our most recent transfiguration lessons."

"Animagus transformations," Remus recalled.

Severus nodded, "Quite. Well I started giving some serious thought to why he was so giddy over the matter when he wouldn't be allowed to take the tests and register until after he graduated here. Then it occurred to me that he seemed more…smug than excited."

"I can see how that would have piqued your interests," Remus mused.

"Very much so," Severus agreed, "And so it was strange to me that he would feel proud of something he had yet to do…unless of course he already had done it. And well, from all my research on werewolves it wasn't hard to recall that they only attack humans but remain docile around animals and so…you can guess how my thinking fell into place after that."

"You haven't gone to Dumbledore though," Remus pointed out, surprised, "I would have thought that would be the first thing you'd do."

"And it should be," Severus responded, "But what good is useful information if I give it away so easily and render it no longer useful to me?"

"So blackmail," Remus surmised with a grimace.

"Not at all," Severus replied, "It just so happens that keeping my knowledge under wraps benefits me."

"How so?" Remus asked curiously.

"From what I've gathered, Pettigrew's a rat, yes?" Severus asked.

Remus nodded.

"Clearly he's a choice candidate for gathering information for Potter, yes?" Severus mused, "The sort who can spy on me and overhear my discussions, especially one's with Lily. If I let Potter know I know, he would only come up with new means of spying on me that I am unaware of. By keeping that I know a secret, I provide myself with a means of counteracting such spying, and Potter won't think to come up with any new tricks."

"Makes sense," Remus conceded, "So you won't tell Dumbledore?"

"As of now, no," Severus informed him, "But if there is ever a repeat of the 'Lake incident', it won't be Dumbledore I tell, but the Ministry itself."

"Duly noted," Remus said nervously, "I'll keep them in check. If anything they owe it to me to make this a peaceful year."

"I still say they're taking advantage of you," Severus stated.

"Me too," Myrtle added.

Remus huffed, "And I say they don't. But I'll take your words into consideration and make sure they don't try to push my buttons."

"I suppose that is the best I can expect from you," Severus said before turning to their ghostly companion, "Now Myrtle, do tell me more about this haunting you doled out to your former bully. I may need the ideas for my afterlife someday…"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of you have wondered how Severus would use the secret of the Marauders being animaguses. I had to give that some serious thought.
> 
> Severus is a very cautious person, one who tends to think out his decisions if he has time to think ahead (one of the reasons I think he lashes out and makes mistakes if he is cornered with no time to plan). He measures out his risk factors and what can go right and go wrong. In other words, he is calculating, especially when it comes to adversaries.
> 
> Ousting James and the others to a professor, while satisfying, would only provide momentary joy for him. Sure they would be punished in some manner (though knowing Dumbledore, the punishment would not be the required jail time of illegal animaguses, or even expulsion) but it would not only provide the Marauders with another grudge against him, but he also loses the upper hand. Right now, Severus has insider knowledge on how they are able to spy on others (Peter's form being very useful) and move about the castle and forest without arising suspicion. As Severus does not know about the map, he views these animal forms and the cloak as their key methods to sneak around unnoticed and look for ways to cause him trouble. In his mind, if they are found out and realize he knows, they will just come up with a new, unknown way to cause mischief.
> 
> By keeping things secret, Severus has the upper hand in knowing to keep an eye out for them, while letting them think he is unaware so they won't develop a new method of spying on him.
> 
> By not going to a professor, Severus is also providing himself with a fail safe to making sure Remus keeps his promise to crack down on his friends. Remus knows he knows and will want to ensure Severus feels no need to get revenge by running to a teacher. Manipulative, yes, but this is Severus we're talking about.
> 
> Read and review :)


	37. What Shouldn't be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A scuffle breaks out in the halls and our friends get a little lesson on consent and boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing you all a welcome back and fond hellos everyone!
> 
> As usual, thanks for all the lovely comments, feedback, and critiques. They are eternally useful and welcome to me. I encourage you to keep sending me feedback and advice whenever you feel necessary. Don't be afraid to question things; I'm not a writer who will be offended.
> 
> This chapter is directly a result of the wonderful and very helpful advice of duj on . As a person who lived in the 70's they pointed out how Simone's open mindedness about the double standards of sexual harassment might be unusual and even unlikely for most people to have as a viewpoint in that era, no matter how nice it is that she is progressive. Keep in mind in the 70's we still weren't really laying out fine lines on sexual harassment against women (and spousal rape wasn't even considered a thing to most courts of law), so people being aware of the wrongness of men being assaulted in such a manner wasn't even a subject on the table.
> 
> So this chapter is to explain why Simone developed such a fire for this hot button issue during an era where it wasn't really addressed. And I worked into it my dislike of a very dubious subject from the HP universe, Love Potions.

* * *

It was a sleepy morning in mid-November that an uproarious clatter filled two adjoining third floor hallways, shattering the peaceful quiet.

Severus had just returned from an early morning appointment with Marcus for his regular counseling and now meeting with Lily for some studying. They were on their way to the library when they heard the commotion.

"What on earth do you suppose all that's about?" Lily question Severus as several students sped past them to join the growing crowd.

"I'm not sure," Severus replied, narrowing his eyes as more students rushed by to gather up ahead of them. He had hoped to spend some more time pouring over the clues about the diadem and the cryptic message he received, but the jeering crowd blocked their path.

Judging by the shouts and cries, some students had started a brawl.

"Let's go see what's going on," Lily said, her prefect responsibilities nagging at her, "Whatever it is should be broken up right away."

Severus sighed, "We might as well. We can't get to the library if we can't get past the crowd, anyway."

They fell into step with the converging students and became one with the group. All the while, the voices at the center of the crowd were getting louder, clearer.

"That voice sounds familiar," Lily observed.

Severus frowned, "Too familiar."

Finally, after much polite 'excuse me's from Lily and precise elbow jabbing from Severus they managed to work their way to the front of the crowd.

The students in the hall had formed a circle around the fight, all shouting encouragements and insults, egging the fight on with joyous glee. A few first years near the front were shying away from the fight, peering out between their fingers.

Among the rabble-rousers stood Potter and Black, yelling boisterously and unbridled enthusiasm.

"Put some effort into it!" Potter shouted.

"Yeah," joined Black, "Swing back!"

In the center, Simone released a tall blonde haired boy from a headlock, using her foot to kick him in the stomach and send him crashing to the floor. Sporting a mussed braid, a split lip and a torn uniform, she looked far better than Jason Hornroad, with his black eye, bloody nose and four fine nail marks streaking across his face.

Simone advanced on Jason menacingly, only for a disheveled Davis to pull her back.

"Easy Simone," Davis soothed, though his eyes burned with hate for the boy on the floor, "He's not worth it."

"Like hell he isn't," Simone growled, struggling to free herself from her friend's grip, "Let me at the bastard, I'll bloody tear him in two!"

Davis fought to maintain his hold around Simone, "Thea, a little help here!"

Thea came forward from her place by a rather meek and reserved looking Nesme. Placing a hand on Simone's cheek, Thea forced Simone to look at her.

"That's enough, Sim," she said gently, rubbing her thumb across Simone's cheek, "You've done enough."

Slowly, the tension left Simone's body, like a balloon drained of air. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths with through her nose.

"I'm okay," she said after a minute, "I'm better now."

Hesitantly, Davis released Simone, though he watched her warily.

"But that  _thing_ ," Simone pointed at Jason, "Has another thing coming if he thinks this is over."

"Can't say I blame you," Davis mumbled having gotten in his fair shares of punches initially.

"A Ravenclaw," Simone spat at Jason, "Rowena would be rolling in her grave at your actions."

"What's all this nonsense?" Slughorn boomed as he waddled into view, the crowd parting for their professor.

"I'll tell you what's going on," Simone snarled, "This thing," she pointed a finger at Jason, "Tried to give Nesme candies laced with love potion!"

An excited murmur rang out across the crowd as Nesme shifted uncomfortably under everyone's scrutiny.

"I recognized the scent," Simone went on, brandishing the smashed box of chocolates in Slughorn's face, "bitter almond with a hint of citrus. It's supposed to mask itself as a simple nut crème filling, but anyone with the know-how can recognize the signs."

"I didn't mean any harm by it," Jason protested feebly, shrinking under Simone's harsh glare.

Slughorn took the box Simone waved in front of his face and looked it over carefully. Lifting one chocolate to his nose, he sniffed it.

"Well you're suspicions are correct, Miss Serapuem," he said, tucking the chocolate back into its packaging, "But it's a low quality potion at best compared to the stronger ones out on the market. Why, it pales in comparison to Amortentia. This would only produce a few hours of infatuation at most. It's harmless."

"A lot of damage can be done in just an hour, professor," Simone bit out, anger seared across her face, "You can take plenty away from a person in just fifteen minutes. Do you honestly expect me to believe his intentions were pure when even he didn't intend to need Nesme under his spell for more than an afternoon?!"

"I just wanted to spend some time with her," Jason explained futilely, "I wasn't going to do anything to her."

"That's a load of shit and you know it!" Simone snarled, "Everyone knows how nice she is. You'd only have to ask her to hang out with you and she'd be more than willing to get to know a person. You hardly need any enchantment to get the time of day from her. What you wanted was for her to  _want_  you, and we can all bloody guess what you would have done with that at your advantage."

"I'm aware by now how you feel about such enchantments," Slughorn said in a placating manner, drawing Simone's attention back to her professor, "But it's a mild potion. It doesn't cause real love and it is rarely permanent."

"It's rape," Simone said simply, her words echoing hollowly in the hall and silencing every other voice.

Simone turned to glare at Jason, before looking over the gathered crowd, "A love potion forces a person to experience feelings and thoughts against their will. It makes them unwillingly compliant to the potion-giver's will and command. They could charm you into giving them your money, your life, your everything. Things you wouldn't normally do; you'll do it because the potion makes you  _think_  you want to, makes you want to in order to please the one you were made to be infatuated with."

Simone turned to Nesme, concern in her eyes, "You don't even need to do much for a love potion to be a truly terribly thing. You can take something very precious from a person: their consent. You strip away their ability to say no and remove the rights they should inherently have over their own body and whom they share it with. Tell me, how is that any different than being under the imperio?"

"Now, surely you aren't comparing a love potion to an unforgivable, Miss Serapeum?" Slughorn rebuffed, "That's going a tad too far…"

"Is it?" Simone challenged, "A strong enough love potion could make a person desire someone so strongly they would hurl themselves from a cliff if asked to, or kill off their friends and family if requested; so deep has the obsession seized them. And they'll think they wanted to. How does it differ from the effects of being imperioed, where the victim cannot question their orders and even may believe it was their own choice?"

She sought out Lily's face in the crowd, her eyes stormy.

Lily nodded, both of their thoughts going to Mary.

Slughorn looked sympathetically down on Simone, "You've brought this concern to the staff many times, my dear, and I've told you it is a matter for the board of governors to decide."

"You don't need their say when it comes to banning Zonkos products," Simone pointed out, "Which are far more harmless by comparison."

"Depends on if you're the one pranking or being pranked," Severus muttered sourly.

"Yes, but joke items are very different," Slughorn stated, "They're listed as toys, considered distractions under the school regulations. All potions fall under a different set of guidelines and banning one can open the door to banning others for all manner of reasons," He chuckled, "Why, we could be forced to stop using certain potions in the hospital wing because a parent doesn't like that there's doxy droppings as a key ingredient."

"That's a fallacy and I can't believe you of all people would be spouting it," Simone said angrily.

"I'm only following regulations, my dear," Slughorn said with a shrug.

"Well then those regulations should be changed and you could start making leeway in it. Professor, I'm asking you to consider this carefully," Simone pleaded, "Love potions should be banned from schools, not laughed off like a childish prank of youth. They put us all in danger. Any boy or girl could become a victim of one and have their lives altered irreparably in only a matter of minutes."

"Would a night of fun really be so bad for bloke?" Sirius joked quietly to James.

Simone rounded on him, "I heard that, Black. No surprise you aren't bothered by this. A 'lady's man' like you must be willing to resort to all sorts of tricks to get someone into bed with you."

"Hey! The girls I bring to my bed—not saying that I do," he added to Slughorn hastily, "But if I did, they'd ALL be willing. I don't force anyone. I do understand consent, you know."

"And yet stripping a classmate naked in front of all his peers is all well and dandy?" Simone sneered.

In the crowd, Severus groaned. He should have known Simone would still be championing for him.

Sirius scowled, "That's different. Snape's a bloke. It isn't like I'm flipping some girl's skirt or something."

"So something happening to a person against their will is only wrong if the victim is a woman?" Simone challenged.

Sirius scowled, "I wasn't saying that. Look, Snape aside, we're talking about sex here. A shag is a different matter for boys entirely. Girls are vulnerable and uptight;  _of course_ they'd have hang ups over who they do it with. They want it to be 'special' or something flowery like that. Boys are different; getting some action is part of what makes you a man," Sirius finished proudly, his chin held high, "As if a guy would be opposed to some girl wanting to shag him. Even if she's ugly, a shag's a shag and it don't matter once the lights are off. Can't call me unwilling."

Several boys in the crowd nodded or voiced their agreement.

"Of all the sexist crap…" Lily muttered under her breath.

Nesme shrunk down in embarrassment; she couldn't help think the ugly comment was in regards to girls like her and she was already aware people would be questioning why Jason would even  _want_  to ensnare someone like her with a love potion.

Davis wrap a comforting arm around Nesme's shoulder, glaring daggers at Black.

"Then consider this, Black," Simone hissed venomously, "That so called farce of a family that you so hate is hellbent on preserving their bloodline and name. What would really be stopping them from slipping some Amortentia into your morning pumpkin juice on your next holiday visit and saddling you with a bride fitting of their dark lineage?"

Something in Sirius countenance changed drastically, as if a chill had come over him.

Simone advanced closer, her eyes narrow slits, "Hm? Your family has a history of inbreeding that would make the even the Kings of old ill; how would you feel if they had enchanted you to be quite besotted with your dear old cousin Bella instead of marrying her off to Lestrange?"

"Miss Serapeum," Slughorn said hesitantly, "Really, you've made your point…"

Satisfied to see the effect her words had on Sirius, Simone pressed on, "Or what about the imperious curse, hm? Say your family decided to  _make_  you live up to their standards and had you commit unspeakable, depraved acts on some poor muggle or muggleborn girl; demean her in every sense of the word? Would you really think it fair that you'd get labeled a rapist when they controlled you? Or would you be able to recognize you were just as much raped as she was?"

"That's quite enough, Miss Serapeum," Slughorn said with a tad bit more authority, "It is clear you feel quite strongly on this matter, but that is no reason to be vulgar."

"That's different," Sirius blurted out at Simone, talking right over Slughorn, "Of course that would be wrong, boy or girl," it was clear from his words though, that he had only just considered such possibilities, "But when it comes to Snivelly, you've got no point to stand on. He repulses me and James."

"That's right," James agreed, glaring at Severus, "nothing we do to him is even remotely for sexual thrill so therefore we can't be harassing him like that, now can we?"

"Sexual assault doesn't have to be about sex, Potter," Simone said with a sneer, "If you ask me, it's really about having power over someone; taking something from them that they can never get back. Think about it, Potter. Do you really believe every victim is some beauty queen?"

James couldn't find an answer to that.

"Face it," Simone went on, walking around the pair of Gyffindors, "Sometimes a victim is chosen solely based on how easy a target their attacker finds them. Perhaps they're alone at night, maybe they're the type who won't fight back or report them…" she looked over her shoulder at James, "Maybe they're just unpopular enough that a jerk is confident no one witnessing it will rat them out. Either way, the attacker gets off more on the power they wield than they do over how attractive or unattractive their victim is."

"Are you actually trying to lump me in with perverts and creeps?!" James asked, outraged.

"If the pointy shoe fits, Potter," Simone said snidely, "You torment Snape to try and impress a girl, one you probably hope to shag, right? So you are using Snape unwillingly as a tool in your own sexual conquest!"

"That's a load of shit!" James shouted, "I don't need Snape to get anyone's attention."

"And yet you attack him whenever you seek it," Simone shot back.

"For a laugh!"

"Who's laughing, Potter?" Simone asked.

"Enough," Slughorn intervened, finally getting a hold of the situation, "Let's all take a deep breath and calm down. Now I do believe the two of you are venturing quite off topic as it is."

"That's right," Sirius piped up, "This is all over a stupid love potion, so leave James out of it. So a girl almost got tricked into making googly eyes at some bloke. You stopped it, so the matters done with, yeah?"

"Hardly," Simone argued, "There's still the matter of what that wretch's punishment shall be." She looked expectantly at Slughorn.

Slughorn fumbled for an answer, rather flummoxed, "Well I suppose a detention should suffice."

"A detention?" Simone balked, "He was going to force himself on her!"

"I was not!" Jason denied.

"He probably was just going to cop of few feels," Sirius butted in, not knowing when to shut up, "Maybe get a snog or two. Seriously, if a love potion was as serious as you make it out to be, it would be outlawed."

"So what if one had been used on me?" came a new voice.

A sullen faced Mary worked her way through the crowd as onlookers watched in shock and astonishment, whispers breaking out anew.

Sirius stared wide eyed as the girl he once thought so infatuated with him came to stand before him, her eyes simultaneously hard and sad.

"He didn't have to imperio me," Mary said, obviously talking about Mulciber, "He could have just as easily forced a love potion down my throat. He wouldn't have had a dead fish on his hands then, but a willing participant, eager to do all he asked of her."

She looked Sirius square in the eyes, "I would have gone along with it in the moment, but how do you think I would have felt  _after_? Don't you think I would have felt wretched and used? That I would have felt dirty and ashamed, to know I remembered every second of it and hated myself for how powerless I had been? To know that I may have sat there while a friend of mine was assaulted and gone along with it because the potion made me want to do whatever Mulciber wanted in order to make him happy?"

Tears welled up in Mary's eyes but she brushed them away, leveling Sirius with her hardest stare.

"I was almost raped," Mary said loudly to the crowd, "I'm not ashamed to say that anymore. The one who should feel ashamed is Mulciber. Had it succeeded in his plans for me it would have been rape. As it is, I was molested; and I hope each and every one of you realizes just how wrong and abhorrent that is. And know this: even if he had used a loved potion on me, it would still be molestation and rape because  _I didn't want it!_ "

Exhaling heavily, Mary spared the crowd one last look and left, leaving a stunned Sirius behind in her wake.

"Let's go," Lily whispered, taking Severus by the arm.

The pair of them hurried after Mary as the crowd began to disperse; though Simone's angry voice could still be heard echoing down the hall.

They caught up to Mary a corridor away, the normally vibrant girl leaning against the wall, staring at her feet.

"That was brave of you, Mary," Lily said compassionately as she neared her friend, "You were very brave to stand in front of all those people and confront Sirius like that."

Mary laughed humorlessly, "Yeah, well I couldn't just stand back and let him spout such dragon shit. Consent shouldn't be something to debate the circumstances of; if you wouldn't give it under normal circumstances, then having it taken in any form should be wrong no matter what method was used."

"Still, what you did took some courage," Lily stated.

Mary smiled wistfully, "Thanks. You're not the only one who's been going to Sprout for advice. She's the one that told me the stigma attached to rape and assault is just society's way of shame people into not talking about things that make others uncomfortable. Sure we all get it's a terrible thing, but people want you to keep it hushed up so that their day isn't inconvenienced by feeling empathy towards someone else's sorrow."

"Like how no one wants to talk about forced marriages still being a thing with some purebloods," Severus said, "Anyone with a conscience can see it isn't fair to the bride or groom to be stronghold into a marriage they don't want for the sake of bloodline. Yet even the 'good' purebloods turn their backs to it and brush it off as if it isn't their business. It's a 'tricky subject', they say and they just avoid acknowledging that it exists at all. Leaves the bride and groom without the security to voice their dissent."

"So glad I'm not a pureblood," Mary said, "But yeah, it's a lot like that. And Sirius was just starting to piss me off. I mean, can you believe him? 'Stripping someone isn't a consent issue if I'm not attractive to them'? What utter bullshit!"

Mary looked over at Severus, shamefaced, "I…I'm sorry I didn't see how wrong it was that day by the lake, Severus. I should have been able to see how it would be wrong if I was in your shoes…I should have done something about it."

"Maybe people should have," Severus huffed, "But I…appreciate your apology. You and Lily are among the only people who have apologized for that experience."

"Remus did too," Lily pointed out.

Severus snorted, "Yes, only because Thea apparently tore into him about his cowardice."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Anyway, are you okay, Mary? That had to have been difficult for you."

Mary shrugged, "It was in a way, but it was also sort of—what's the word? Cathartic? People back there seemed either on the fence over Sirius's words or in agreement with him. Hell, I bent plenty of girls from our class have considered giving a love potion to a boy they fancy at one point or another just so that they would have a date to Hogsmeade. I know I used to joke about it."

"Many students here have," Severus offered as a means of comfort, "Really girls are tricked by ads and society into thinking those potions are romantic or for a laugh. Hell, some of high society just considers it an alternative means for a pureblood girl to secure a wealthy husband; I know Narcissa and her sisters were supposed to have been well groomed in such tactics to ensure worthy marriage prospects."

"That's sick," Lily said, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"So I wasn't the only one who used to make light of such things," Mary sighed, "I suppose that's a comfort. Still doesn't change that I couldn't see how wrong it was. Then this whole thing with Mulciber happened and now I just keeping going over in my head all the ways he could have done to me."

"When people talk about love potions they usually think of it in regards to someone they themselves are bewitching or someone attractive giving it to them," Severus mused, "Rarely does anyone consider the possibility of being on the receiving end of the affections of someone they abhor."

Lily nodded, "I know Jess has gushed over the romanticism of a love potions being used to win over a guy or two. She talks of how it would break the ice and by the time it wears off the person will surely have 'learned to love' her enough that they'd stay. I guess she never entertained the thought of having someone give it to her and it being a guy she doesn't like. I bet she would be horrified at the idea of someone like Peter giving her a love potion."

"Jess is shallow," Mary stated, "She's hung up on looks to the point that she thinks dirty tactics are fine if the guy is cute, but she'd probably call it harassment if a boy like Peter even made eye contact with her. Which is low; for all we know he's a decent guy away from Potter and Black."

Severus snorted at that, but Mary chose not to acknowledge it.

"I think I'm glad Mulciber used an unforgivable on me instead of a love potion, you know?" Mary announced after a minute, "The idea that I could have been spelled into wanting his attentions makes me sick to my stomach. If he had done that I doubt I ever would have been able to live with myself…I'd just picture his smug satisfaction at knowing that even if convicted he still took away a part of me and made me desire it."

"Oh, Mary," Lily said sadly, pulling her friend into an embrace.

Mary rested her head on Lily's shoulder, "I feel a tad bit relieved knowing I wasn't enchanted to enjoy it or participate," she shuddered, "Just thinking about the possibility makes my skin crawl."

"I think it would make any of us feel that way," Thea said softly, walking up to them with Nesme and Davis close behind.

"I take it the fight is over," Severus surmised.

Thea gave a small smile, "Simone is still trying to hash out what constitutes an appropriate punishment. McGonagall showed up eventually and now her and Slughorn are butting heads on 'inappropriate' advances."

"Glad at least she sees it as a serious matter," Severus muttered.

"How are you doing, Nesme," Lily asked kindly.

Nesme shrugged, "I'm alright, I suppose. I'll probably write me mum about it, just for someone to talk to. Simone recognized the situation before I could eat one of the candies, so I'm glad I was saved from that, but…it just bothers me. Why couldn't Jason have just spoken to me? Sure I might have turned him down, but it's better than having my trust broken, right?"

"Considering what he resorted to, it sounds like he cared little for trust to begin with," Severus said. The others nodded.

"It's embarrassing too," Nesme admitted sadly, "Here I am being tricked and in the worst way, and all anyone can focus on over there is questions like "Why her?" and whether or not I should be flatter he picked me." She shifted from foot to foot, "All eyes on me for once and it's for all the wrong reasons."

"Ignore them," Davis encouraged, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly, "They're all idiots."

Nesme nodded, "You're right. Um…thanks for sticking up for me, Mary."

Mary smiled, "Anytime. So love potions are a hot button issue with Simone, huh?"

Davis nodded, "Been like that ever since I met her. She was furious to find out Slughorn actually shows off a sample of Amortentia in his sixth year class. She nearly walked out on the assignment that day."

"She's definitely passionate about it," Severus said, "There is one thing I'm curious about though. Sure, I myself have considered the immorality and outright dubiousness of enchanting girls into loving a person."

' _Never in a million years would I have done that to Lily,'_  he added in his head _, 'Better no love then live a lie with fabricated love.'_

"But even I can say that it rarely crossed my mind to consider the offense of the same being done to men. Like I said to these two," he gestured to Lily and Mary, "It's been in practice for years for pureblood women to use all manner of tricks and tactics to seduce a wealthy suitor to marry. From perfumes enchanted to allure and lipstick designed to cause lust, men have been subjected to all sorts of traps for decades all as a means to make stronger alliances and produce heirs. I admit I never really took into account how unfair that is to the potential groom."

"So why has Simone given the subject so much thought," Mary asked the question just hanging on the tip of Severus's tongue.

"I'm afraid I can answer that," Thea offered, "It all has to do with Simone's father."

"What happened to him?" Lily asked.

"Before he was a barrister for the Wizengamot," Thea explained, "Mr. Serapeum used to work as a private legal aide for the public in lower courts. He had all the schooling and power to work in a higher position, but he wanted to help the 'little people', so to speak, people who couldn't afford representation in even minor cases like property disputes. He did good work and his clients were very grateful…some a little more than others."

Everyone was hanging on Thea's every word by this point, all leaning forward in anticipation.

"There was this woman," Thea went on, "A widow who got into a dispute with her in laws over the assessments of her late husband. They had contested her claim to the money and his ancestral home and she was poised to lose everything. Mr. Serapeum, being the skilled man he is, found the loophole necessary to grant her custody and deny their claim to the fortune. She was understandably overjoyed about it, as any of us would probably be if we were a step away from homelessness."

"I take it the issue here is how she expressed her gratitude," Severus surmised.

Thea nodded, shifting uneasily, "She brought him a gift the following week. Now back at his old firm, Mr. Serapuem's clients didn't always have a lot of money to make full and proper payments, so many of them brought his other means of pay. Baked goods, gift baskets, a bottle of wine. Some knitted him socks or scarves or made salves and potions for everyday needs. It was there way of saying 'thank you,'. So when a jug of homemade spiced mead showed up on his desk, he didn't see any harm to it."

"I guess the next thing he remembered was lying face down on the sidewalk," Thea continued, "Apparently a colleague had seen him acting funny and tried to get his attention. When he didn't respond, they stunned him. It turned out there was Amortentia in the mead and he had been on his way to that woman's home."

"Father stopped accepting gifts from clients after that," Simone said, startling everyone as she stepped into the little half circle they'd formed, "Not long after he closed down his private practice and took a position working under the Wizengamot. It was safer that way, more secure."

"There never was any charge placed against her," Simone added, her brow furrowed as she stared at the floor, "She had to pay a hefty fine, but she never stood trial for it. She was pretty, she was wealthy; most thought it sort of flattering in a way that she set her sights on him. His friends were mad and worried on his behalf, sure, but most people just saw it as a funny story, a hilarious anecdote. "Remember that one time some crazy broad tried to give you a love potion? You sure dodged a hex there; I doubt the missus would forgive you for running off with someone else!' They just couldn't seem to see past the 'humor' in it."

"It isn't funny at all," Lily assured Simone sympathetically, "What she did was atrocious!"

Simone graced Lily with a grateful smile, "Glad you see it that way. I wish more would." She leaned back against the wall, "a few months after it all happened, I heard my parents talking about it in their room late one night. I'd had a nightmare and wanted to sleep in their bed. That's when I heard them talking; turned out my dad had his own nightmares."

Everyone shared a knowing look.

Simone was silent for a long time before she finally spoke again, "Dad used to dream of being released from the love potion to find that he had been under its influence for years and had started a whole family with that woman. He said he dreamed of finding out he had been away from me and mom for so long that eventually we had moved on and mom married someone else; that I called a different man my father. He would dream of seeing that woman with a bulging belly and all these little ones running around and realizing most people would side against him if he chose to leave her, regardless of how he had been bewitched by her. He dreamed of the guilt of being unable to love any child he had with her when he knew it wasn't their fault she forced him to conceive them with her."

"He dreamed of his whole world crashing down around him and society being unsympathetic to his plight because none of them could see how utterly fucking  _mad_  it is that someone would drug him to take away the life he knew," Simone finished, glaring a hole in the wall opposite her, "Where the hell is the world's moral compass?"

"We act like the Wizarding world is so grand," Lily mumbled despairingly, "And we somehow forget that in a way, this world is so far behind the muggle one. It's like living in the dark ages."

"Muggle world isn't that much better," Severus pointed out, "Otherwise more people would have acted years ago when my father first laid a hand on my mum. Beating your wife or kid is still considered something to let the family sort out for themselves."

Severus looked at Simone, "I guess since certain gender biases have been laid out today it's only fair to say husbands probably get hit by wives too and I'm sure society is just as quick to ignore it as when it's the other way around. Never happened in my house, but that doesn't mean it's never happened anywhere."

Simone nodded.

"That's the first time you've ever admitted in front of us what went on in your home," Mary said in awe.

Severus shrugged, "Marcus said it isn't something to keep quiet about. If I'm too ashamed to talk about it, I'm just helping keep these problems secret and helping make others feel too afraid to come forward themselves."

"Good words to live by," Simone said sagely.

"No arguments here," Mary added.

"of course, I'd appreciate if this stayed with us," Severus put forth, looking around at his friends, "There's plenty of blithering idiots and apes who would think a beating from my father something to have a good laugh about."

"Like those pricks in your dorm," Nesme pointed out.

"Nesme," Davis gasped in shock.

"What?" Nesme glowered, "I've had a stressful day with all this excitement; I think I'm allowed to say a few dirty words."

Like a bubble bursting a lot of tension drained away and the group allowed themselves a good little laugh. They'd probably deal with a lot of people who couldn't understand them or their plights, their positions or ideals, but at least they had understanding in each other.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been bothered by the concept of love potions in HP universe. They are essentially magical roofies.
> 
> Throughout the books it bothered me how the dubiousness of consent was with them. Dumbledore mentions that Merope Gaunt most likely used one on Riddle's father, and yet expresses some form of pity or sympathy for her, despite the fact that she robbed a man of consent to benefit herself. Yes she was abused, for which I do feel bad, but think of it like this: if a guy from an abusive home went off and roofied a girl to get her pregnant as a means of keeping her with him and calling it 'love', would you feel comfortable hearing someone view them as pitiful and sympathetic instead of repugnant? Rape is rape, you shouldn't be able to excuse it on the grounds that your life was miserable leading up to you raping someone. (I should also note that Dumbledore says Riddle was born without love and therefore incapable of understanding love. Considering he is a product of rape, I find this a terrible implication on Rowling's part in regards to children conceived via rape. )
> 
> When Ron accidentally eats the chocolates meant for Harry, it is never addressed whether or not the girl who dosed the chocolates was punished. Some have argued that Ron's near death and the discovery that someone intended to poison Dumbledore sort of took priority, but that makes it seem even worse. "Oh someone tried to drug Harry and do god knows what to him? Well we have a different situation on our hands here, so let's put a pin in that." I mean, can we at least see it as serious from the perspective of the Chosen One's safety; it would be insanely easy for a student who took the mark to use a love potion to seduce Harry into going somewhere with them and delivering him straight to Voldy.
> 
> Love potions are sold in some varying degree in stores in the wizarding world as if they aren't a potentially dangerous substance and frankly I find that as appalling as if a pharmacy sold date rape drugs off their shelves.
> 
> As for my chapter itself, love potions strike me as something that this morally questionable wizarding world would view as commonplace in courtship, what with the amount of purebloods vying for blood purity and suitable marriages. Considering that a pureblood girl was most likely seen as less desirable an heir than a boy, I imagine the pressure would be on them to therefore marry as high up as possible and ensure they bear boys to carry the family's legacy and creeds. This would most likely mean they would feel pressured to try many methods of seduction in order to acquire a suitable husband. So I figure love potions would not be considered anything more than a useful tool in that endeavor.
> 
> Simone would naturally take issue with how lax laws are on love potions after how it nearly tore her family a part. And so began her knew awareness that a person being harassed or assaulted or coerced should matter regardless of gender.
> 
> Read and review, lovelies :)


	38. Friendly Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casual discussions lead to new things to think about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Good to be back
> 
> (Currently writing this Author's note one handed and leaning sideways as my massively large cat has decided to pass out along my torso and hip)
> 
> As usual, thank you for your reviews, feedback, and advice. I can't stress enough how helpful I find it.
> 
> This chapter doesn't need much in the way of warnings, so I'll just get right to it.

* * *

Lily woke up with a quiet gasp, jerking upwards in bed so quickly she felt a crick in her neck. Doused in a cold sweat, she peered out through her bed curtains and listened carefully. When sleepy mumblings and deep even breaths reached her ears, she breathed a sigh of relief; she hadn't woken her roommates.

Half passed five in the morning; Lily sat up in bed and adjusted the pillows behind her, not intending to sleep again just yet. She propped her pillow against the headboard and leaned into it. Quietly opening her bedside drawer, she pulled out a pad of paper and—the most muggle of devices—a pen.

Nightmares were commonplace for Lily since Avery assaulted her, but writing them down was a relatively new thing. At night, she would sometimes toss and turn, tormented by horrors so vivid and real, but oftentimes the details would fade with the morning light, slipping from her recollection into blurry snippets soon after she joined the waking world. It made things greatly difficult for Lily. One can overcome a nightmare or decrease the frequency in which it show up if they managed to face the fear or problem the subconscious hid behind it. One just needed to examine the details, but how could Lily examine her dreams if she could barely recall them.

Her nightmares used to stay fresh in her mind during the first few weeks of summer, but as time went on, it seemed her brain was working overtime to push it to the back of her mind shortly after she woke up.

That's when Professor Sprout gave her the journal. The head of Hufflepuff thought documenting the dreams when they were still fresh in Lily's mind would be of some use. Now whenever Lily woke up from one of her mind's creative new terrors, she could quickly scribble it down before she forgot and show it to Sprout the next time they spoke. It was becoming quite helpful to discuss her dreams in depth and decipher any emotions her subconscious was hanging onto.

' _Hands again,'_  Lily wrote,  _'They're always dirty, and something deep down always tells me if they touch me I'll never be clean again.'_

She paused, tapping the end of the pen to her lips.

' _Different location again,'_  she jotted down,  _'My own neighborhood instead of the train or Hogsmeade. But people there were jumbled up instead of where they should be. Avery lived in Mrs. Evelyn's house next door, the staff from the Hogwarts Express staffing my favorite café. Classmates at my playground.'_

Professor Sprout seemed to think Lily's dreams shifted the location and people around so much with the same plot because of how easy it is to be attacked just about anywhere. Avery was a classmate, someone she despised but otherwise saw very little threat to despite his rude words. She always expected a predator of that caliber to be someone she didn't know, some filthy, beer smelling vagrant lurking in the back alley of the roughest neighborhood. In other words, someone Lily would never likely meet hanging around in places she was sure to avoid. The fact that it happened in a trusted place like the very train that takes her to and from school—in broad daylight no less—was a rude awakening to Lily. Such dangers could lurk anywhere, in plain sight if one wasn't careful.

In order to ensure Lily's slight trepidation of men would lessen instead of grow, Sprout was doing her best to teach Lily to watch out for specific things rather than painting men with the same brush. Does a person seem to appear in many places you do like stores or parks without buying anything or doing something? Does the person who offers you a drink or two not have one of his own? Does a person only approach you when you begin to wander off from the crowd? These weren't always sure signs of someone up to no good, but they were good tips for singling out potential dangers from the everyday folk.

Whenever Lily's dreams seemed to venture back into the 'it could be anyone' scenario, she'd write it down and she and Sprout would work that fear out some more.

Truth be told, the journal wasn't initially Sprout's idea. Severus had taken up recording his dreams at the recommendation of Marcus during one of their initial sessions and told Lily about it one evening while they were studying. He had been carrying a plain leather book and Lily's curiosity prompted her to ask him about it.

The idea of Severus keeping a journal seemed unusual at first considering Severus was a very private person. To him, diaries were just asking for trouble from nosy roommates with sticky fingers. Marcus seemed to have changed Severus's tune however, as Severus now carried one around—heavily warded, of course—and kept a very detailed and precise summary of his dreams. Lily mentioned the journal to Sprout and the kindhearted professor found it to be a marvelous idea.

It was evident that Severus had a difficult time letting go of the resentment (no shit) and tended to hang on to the past even if the anger it instilled in him ran the risk of ruining his quality of life. He tended to prevent himself from enjoying things with how often he dwelled upon past events, so the hatred he held for his father was still a big issue to address.

Marcus held no hopes of ever getting Severus to forgive his father, though honestly, no one who knew of Severus's childhood could truly fault him for being unable to do so. Instead, the dream journal and their sessions about them were more about getting Severus to forgive not only his mother but also himself. From the brief snippets Severus had allowed Lily to skim through, many of Severus's nightmares about his father circulated quite often on a reoccurring theme of Severus being in some position to stop it—armed with a wand, a knife, or other weapon—but not doing anything, no matter how much he internally urged his dream self to act.

Sometimes he would be chained in place and yet holding the key to free himself, but no matter how much he yelled or urged himself to move forward, his dream self would not unlock the chains. Sometimes he would respond, but the ley would be astoundingly too heavy to lift and he would struggle helplessly as his mother's screams and sobs filled the air and his father charged towards him with a thick leather belt.

It was clear Severus still believed he should have done more to fight back all those years and resented that he never did. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that as a child it wasn't his job to stop it; adults should have intervened long ago. Severus certainly didn't blame himself for his father's actions thankfully; he was more than happy to lay the blame at the feet of his monster of a father and know nothing he had done had warranted a beating. For some reason though he still seemed to think that regardless of his father actions, Severus had magic and therefore resented himself for not using it in defense.

At least Marcus was making progress with Severus. For a boy with such high intelligence, it must be frustrating to face an obstacle where no amount of one's own skill or talent can fix it, but sometimes, life just doesn't give you a fair hand you can deal with yourself. What Severus had gone through as a child was too big for him, loath as he was to admit it. Police should have been involved, neighbors shouldn't have turned a blind eye to it, adults in general should have taken responsibility instead of placing the burden on a child's shoulders.

Lily knew from her talks with Severus during the summer that there had been very little he could do on his own. Reporting it himself would have required an investigation, and who was to say his father wouldn't lie his way out of it? His mother would have certainly been too scared to collaborate Severus's claims for fear of Tobias's wrath. With how blurry the line between abuse and "discipline" was when it came to child rearing these days, the police could easily dismiss the word of a child over that of his parent.

Without much help coming from the muggles, the most Severus would have been able to do was rely on the Wizarding World and Lily was thankful the light side that came to his aid. She knew exactly what would have been expected of Severus had he sought out help from Malfoy; a lifetime of servitude to a madman. It still scared Lily to think how easily Severus almost ended up manipulated into signing his life away to that; he must have been desperate to escape his home life.

Lily sighed; thankfully, that chapter of darkness was behind Severus now. He finally had dependable allies and resources among the 'good side', so to speak, to not resort to such desperate actions to escape his father or his fear of being a washed up, penniless drunk like that man. Learning to trust muggles like Marcus and moving on from his old life and grudges would open up new doors to him. He could build better connections, earn recognition for his talents and pursue a career he would be proud of. Disassociating himself from You-Know-Who and his followers would mean people would stop dismissing Severus as a lost cause. Though it still irked Lily that people like Dumbledore had seemed content to overlook Severus's problems when they believed Sev would choose the wrong choice—teachers should help their students to  _prevent_  them picking the wrong path—she was glad he finally had taken an interest in Severus's wellbeing.

"Stupid teacher biased," Lily mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Gah!" Lily flailed, nearly falling off her bed, "Marlene! You startled me."

The older girl had the good grace to look remorseful.

"Sorry, it wasn't my intention," Marlene said sheepishly.

"What are you even doing here?" Lily asked, tucking her journal away as the other girl's began to wake from the commotion.

"Mary said I could borrow a bra of hers for Quidditch practice," Marlene explained, already moving to roll said curly haired brunette out of bed, "Mine don't have enough support for sports. We're the same size."

"Something I regret discovering," Mary grumbled, holding onto her blanket with all her might to prevent Marlene from pulling it off her, "You're always borrowing my stuff."

"Think of it like us being sisters," Marlene said merrily, tugging on Mary's bedspread.

" _Little_  sister's borrow from the older sister," Mary argued from beneath her fleece fortress, "That's how that dynamic works. You're older than me."

"But shorter than you," Marlene said, tugging harder on the blankets, "So I'm littler."

"That's not how sisterhood works," Mary sulked from beneath the covers.

"Can't you borrow from the girls in your own dorm?" Mary whined.

"They won't let me," Marlene replied, "Besides they're either bigger or smaller than me in the chest."

"I'm glad I don't have to worry about Marlene borrowing from me. I'm bustier," Meldonna said cheekily, sitting up in bed with a stretch. She smooth the front of her nightgown down with a proud smile, "Unlike some people," she spared Jess a glance.

"Hey!" Jess said indignantly from her bed, glancing down at her more diminutive bust, "That's not fair." She sat back on her heels, pouting, "If we're going to pull crap like that, I've got nicer hips than you."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Are we really having such a stupid conversation?"

"And this early in the morning too," Mary groaned, kicking her leg out.

Marlene cackled, dodged the swinging foot, "Point is, I fit your clothes, so fork 'em over," with one last mighty pull, she yanked the covers off of Mary's prone form, leaving the girl curled up on the bed face down in the pillows, her knees tucked under her and her bum in the air.

"The liiight," Mary hissed, bringing her arms up around her head to shield her face, "It buuuuuurns!"

"Anyway," Marlene carried on as she took Mary by the leg and dragged her off the mattress, "If we want to talk curves, Lily has you all beat."

"What?" Lily bawked.

"Oh come on," Marlene continued, "You've got the biggest boobs in the bunch," she gestured around the room, "In your own year and dorm at east. Mary has the ass, but your hips are almost as wide as Jess's. You're what most guys would call a  _mature woman_."

"Lucky," Jess harrumphed.

"They're not that big," Lily sputtered, hiding her chest with her arms and turning away from the others, "They're perfectly normal sized!"

"I'm not saying they're bigger than your head," Marlene said, "But you have to admit, you've gotten pretty…endowed since the puberty fairy paid you a visit."

Lily looked away, her cheeks burning red.

"Don't be like that, Lily. It's a compliment," Jess stated.

Meldonna nodded, "You're an hourglass."

"With an extra half hour on the top," Mary's muffled voice came from the floor.

At that remark, Lily chucked a pillow at her friends, prompting Mary to toss one back and hit Jess by mistake. The fair-skinned girl grabbed one of her many ornamental throw pillows and threw it at a laughing Meldonna. The girls dissolved into a fit of giggles as pillows began flying around the room, all amidst Lily's still embarrassed defenses of her figure.

Marlene took the distraction to root around in Mary's wardrobe, seeing as the girl was too distracted to try to police what Marlene borrowed this time.

"Ooh, this is nice," Marlene marveled as she picked up a royal blue sweater hemmed to frame the chest and hang loose beneath the bustline, "I'd look like a pin-up girl in this…"

A pillow collided with the back of Marlene's head at that precise moment, nearly knocking the Chaser off her feet.

Turning around, Marlene looked down to find Mary, still sprawled across the floor, looking up at her with a cocked brow.

"Could have sworn I said you could borrow a  _bra_ ," she said with a grin, "That sweater is off limits."

"Surely not to me," Marlene protested.

Another pillow smacked her square in the face.

"Especially you," Mary replied.

Tossing the sweater aside, Marlene scooped up the nearest pillow. With a war cry, she charged in the fray swinging the pillow as hard as she could as Mary cackled and rolled under her bed for shelter. The battle got so intense, several pillows burst, feathers and floating everywhere.

'I've got you now," Jess warned, reaching to reload with Lily's remaining pillow.

"Don't!" Lily cried suddenly.

Jess froze mid-lean over Lily's bed, "What?"

Lily pulled the pillow over to her and out of Jess's reach.

"This one is for playing," Lily said, holding it protectively.

"Why not?" Jess asked with a frown, "It's just a pillow."

"It's not the same as the others. I brought this one from…from home," Lily said, not technically lying, "It still smells the same." She nosed the cotton pillow cover, breathing in the scent of mint, cinnamon, and ink still clinging stubbornly to the fabric, much to her relief.

She thanked her lucky stars Flitwick had taught them a cleaning charm for refreshing clean linen; with a minor alteration it made for a quick fix in renewing the scent embedded in her favorite pillow.

You should just try buying a bottle of the perfume your mom wears," Meldonna suggested, calming down some and starting to pick the feathers out of her hair, "It always works for me when I feel a little homesick, and you can keep applying it to the scent doesn't fade."

"That…that could work," Lily agreed, mulling the idea over in her head. She wondered if there was a type of cologne Severus wore to have such a pleasant scent. It would be worth looking into anyway. Discreetly.

"But for now, this pillow is off limits," Lily said firmly, "It helps me sleep and I do not want it to smell less like hi—home."

Jess raised her hands up in surrender, "Okay, I'll leave that one alone." Grabbing a pillow from the floor, she pelted it at Meldonna as the other girl was walking to her dresser.

"The moment's passed my dear," Mel said with a yawn as she began brushing out her hair.

"We should probably clean up," Lily suggested, tucking the pillow safely back at the head of her bed and pulling her covers over it, "McGonagall would have a fit if she saw this."

"True," Mary agreed, pulling out her wand and assisting Lily in putting the feathers back into all the pillows, "I do not want a detention this early in the morning. That would be the worst way to start off the d—Marlene you come back here, I said you could only borrow a bra!"

With a manically laugh, Marlene darted out the open door, a bra and a blue sweater clutched tightly in her hands.

 

{page break}

 

Myrtle floated upside-down by the large bathroom window, occasionally letting out a theatrical ghostly moan here and there, completely with ghastly facial expressions.

"And this other time I was flushed into the lake and the merpeople chased me away. Such nasty people," she bemoaned, sailing through the air at a leisurely pace.

"Mmhm," Severus hummed, leafing through a dark arts theory book he managed to nick off of one of the seventh years in Slytherin. He hoped a more advanced year textbook would prove more useful in his search for answers to the diadem, "Not sure why you allowed them to scare you off. You're intangible to them."

"But they're just so scary," Myrtle insisted, "I mean have you  _seen_ them? They're nothing like what's shown in paintings; talk about hideous."

"Not really sure you or eye should be judging other's looks," Severus muttered to himself. Though he initially sympathized with Myrtle's rather difficult school years and unfortunate end, he was finding actually  _liking_  her to be quite hard. While he was sure her treatment at the hands of her classmates was unfair and terrible, he couldn't determine from his numerous meetings with her whether or not her bitter, overly sensitive personality came to be after her death or was something she was known for  _before_ she died.

Simpering and whining over every little thing, Myrtle demonstrated very little tolerance for anyone else while demanding his or her unending patience in regards to her own behavior. She constantly belabored the mocking of her past peers over her glasses and poor complexion while being very quick to poke fun at flaws in others. Severus wondered if she saw the hypocrisy in that or if her time in death had left indifferent to it. It was almost staggering how easily Myrtle could laugh at the expense of others she had spied on over the years and their various misfortunes while expecting people to be appalled by how she was once treated.

The only reason Severus was even bothering with her presence was that he didn't want to risk being caught by the owner of the book, nor arise the suspicions of professors like Dumbledore as to why he was perusing advanced material on dark magic. Knowing his luck, they would assume he was going back down darker paths.

"So ghost can go in water," Severus said, feigning interest in the current topic at hand, "That's not something you hear too often in legend or even basic knowledge."

"Well why wouldn't we be able to?" Myrtle asked, spinning through the air, "We don't need to breathe, we can't drown, we can't feel the wet or cold. It's just the same as floating on land."

Myrtle let out a dreamy sigh, "It really is quite lovely down there; so dark and murky."

"Uh-huh," Severus agreed disinterestedly, flicking through another page or two.

"But the water isn't nearly as interesting as what I find within Hogwarts," Myrtle continued with a grin, "I can go into just about any room in the castle, except for the ones warded against spirits of course. So I see everything that happens in this place; plenty of people known about me and yet they always seem to forget I'm around," she let out a pitiful wail, "Everyone always forgets about poor Myrtle."

Severus resisted rolling his eyes, Myrtle's emotions tended to bounce all over the place on a regular basis.

"But that just means they don't know I'm listening," Myrtle said, suddenly chipper once more, "I see students sneaking out to see their boyfriends, students up to no good. Sometimes I hang aroud the restricted section of the library and see who's trying to sneak in. It's always fun to make a lot of noise and lure Filch right to them!"

"The restricted section?" Severus asked in surprise, "That's right…you  _can_  go there."

"Of course I can," Myrtle said proudly, "I have access to nearly all of the school; something most students would no doubt do anything to be able to do."

"So from where you watch them, you can see when Filch is on his way up?" Severus inquired, an idea brewing in his head, "You can lead him places by causing a commotion?"

"Like a puppet on a string," Myrtle answered, "It's really quite easy. Normally if I cry or laugh, he'll assume it's one of the living students and come to investigate. I can lure him right over to the restricted section and catch people there. It's great fun," she cackled nastily.

"What if it was needed for you to lure him  _away_  from the restricted section?" Severus asked.

Myrtle blinked, "Why would I do that? It doesn't sound nearly as fun as getting someone into trouble."

"Let's say I need your help, Myrtle," Severus poised, "As a friend. Would you do it?"

"You want my help to break the rules?" Myrtle asked, her wide eyes seeming even more owlish behind her large glasses, "No one has ever asked me to do that before; not even when I was alive."

"Think of it as causing a little…mischief," Severus offered, "Friends get into adventures all the time. Surely in your lifetime you saw kids, maybe even that nasty bully of yours, seeking off with friends to do something they shouldn't and wished you had people to get up to trouble with like any other regular teen."

Myrtle bit her lip, looking away, "Olive Hornby did use to sneak off to smoke behind the greenhouses—not that I wanted to smoke or anything; that's just foul—but…it would have been nice to have someone ask me to go hang out, maybe break some rules…"

Severus grinned inwardly; now he had her, "What if I told you that I was planning to break some rules and wanted you to be my second in command?"

Myrtle regarded Severus carefully over the frames of her glasses, "That could be fun, I suppose…what would I need to do?"

"The most important role, Myrtle," Severus said, laying it on thick, "I need you, with you skills of being unseen, to keep Filch from finding me while I get some books from the restricted section. I need to avoid getting caught and only you are the one I can rely on."

"Only me?" Myrtle asked, flattered. After a moment she frowned, "What do you need from the restricted section anyway?"

Severus considered his answer. He couldn't exactly tell Myrtle the truth about the diadem; that would be too risky. As desperate as the ghost was for friends, she would probably give the secret away to someone else in exchange for their company at a moment's hesitation. It'd be even more foolish to tell her of the room they found the diadem in. All it would take to unleash the danger the diadem held was to let it slip to the wrong person that a potentially dangerous and powerful item was hidden in the school.

"Well…as you know, I like to learn," Severus began slowly, "Knowledge is fascinating to me and I'll do whatever it takes to acquire it. I've heard rumors of an item that can grant it's wearer an increase in intellect and I must say the idea…intrigues me. However, the item has long since been lost. I should like to have a look at some of Hogwarts's more advanced reading materials to see if I can garner any clues as to it's last known whereabouts. You know…so I can look for it after I graduate."

"Why not ask for permission to go get a book from that section," Myrtle inquired.

"Because I pride my vast intellect already," Severus lied smoothly, "I would hate for anyone to find out I am looking to increase it by magical means instead of letting it come by sheer talent and skill. Put yourself in my shoes," he entreated, "Would you want someone to find out you were secretly trying to improve something about yourself? They might see that as you admitting there was something about yourself that wasn't good enough."

Myrtle nodding, seemingly agreeing with Severus's reasoning as a distraught expression crossed her face. If Severus were to hazard a guess, Myrtle was probably thinking of what it would be like if Olive Hornby had ever caught her with a  _Witches Weekly_  article on how to lose weight of something else along those lines.

"I could see how that would be dreadfully embarrassing," Myrtle conceded, "So what's the thing you want to research on finding?"

Severus weighed his options carefully and decided the truth was allowable in this one instance seeing as he was claiming that diadem was still lost, "Rowena's Lost Diadem."

"Oh, that old thing," Myrtle said, interested, "I've heard mention of it loads of times."

"You have?" Severus asked.

Myrtle nodded, "I speak to the other ghosts of the castle all the time. It's actually a great sport to guess where it might have been hidden; the Fat Friar's bet is Peru, but we all think he's barmy. Not that it matters anyway; I heard that Rowena's own daughter stole it. She died before her mother, you know and if that's true then I bet you anything the diadem is in Albania."

"Rowena's daughter?" Severus couldn't say that thought had occurred to him before. He searched his brain for any snippet of information on her, "Helena…I suppose she did vanish around the same time as the diadem. But why would that mean the diadem's in Albania?"

"Didn't you know?" Myrtle questioned excitedly, "That's where Helena was murdered."

Severus leaned back with a start, "Murdered? That's not in any history book I ever read. Helena's whereabouts were never found and neither was her body. How would you know what happened to her?"

"I have my ways," Myrtle said smugly, "Anyway, the diadem is likely wherever in Albania that Helena hid it last before she met her end. That's what my sources tell me anyway…"

"You mean ghosts. Are you saying there are ghosts here that might know more about the diadem or at least Helena?" Severus pressed.

Myrtle shrugged, "Maybe there are, maybe there aren't. It would be rude of me to divulge my sources." She seemed to be taking great pride in knowing something others did not for once.

Severus sighed; he had a good feeling he wouldn't be able to get it out of Myrtle today. Pressing her for the information for only serve to further her feeling of self-importance, "Are you at least going to help me out with the restricted section?"

"Of course," Myrtle cooed, still riding the high of being in the know for once, "What are friends for?"

Severus watched Myrtle spin and sail around the bathroom, all the while thinking a mile a minute. If Helena truly was the one to have taken the diadem from Rowena, it left more questions than answers. Myrtle said Helena died in Albania shortly before her mother's own death. Rowena died sometime in the 11th century, placing her daughter's death roughly around the same time. If the diadem was with her when she died, how did it get from Albania to Hogwarts? And when? Surely it hadn't been sitting in the Come and Go room since the 1100's. Severus saw how much clutter accumulated in the room; if the diadem had been placed there that much earlier it would have been buried by centuries of junk and Simone never would have come across it.

So the diadem was most likely placed in the Come and Go room at a later century. But then who found it and brought it to Hogwarts? Helena's killer? Someone who found her body? It made little sense that whoever found it would keep that fact a secret; the finder of the fabled lost diadem would surely garner much fame and fortune unto themselves, so why keep it secret?

Severus shut the book he was reading; he would have to bring his latest findings to the others. In the meantime, he could only hope a trip to the restricted section would give him insight in to just what it was they were up against.

"If you don't mind, I would like to get into the library to do this as soon as possible," Severus said, standing up, "Would you be alright with tomorrow night? After curfew?" He'd rather do it that evening, but he had a rather large arithmacy assignment to complete before the morning; worrying over the diadem had led to him neglecting his usual homework schedule.

"Why not?" Myrtle agreed, "I rarely get to hang out with a boy at night," she giggled coyly.

"Right..." Severus lowly, "Well until then I must bid you goodnight." Nodding at her, Severus left Myrtle's bathroom and made his way down for dinner.

"Hey, Snape."

Severus looked over his shoulder to see Simone sauntering towards him.

"Serapeum," Severus greeted, glad to see her. He could at least tell one person what he had leared, "You're alone for once. Normally I see at least one of your friends attached to you."

Simone grinned sheepishly, "Still serving detentions for fighting that bloke who tried to drug Nesme. Just got let out for the evening."

"Ah, yes the fight," Severus said nodding, "Of course you would be punished for defending someone."

"But of course, I'm a Slytherin," Simone joked. Smile fading Simone looked over at Severus, unease clouding her features.

"So, you know...I never got to apologize for dragging your name into that whole mess in the hall that day," she began guiltily, "I know you don't like being portrayed as some victim...I just got a little...heated and the conversation got away from me. I didn't stop to think how you might fee with me bringing up your issues with Potter in front of everyone."

"I didn't exactly appreciate it," Severus admitted, "I may be able to accept that I am a victim of some unfair treatment and that it doesn't make me any less of a person, but I'm sure to my detractors it would be seen as a weakness." He cast a glance at Simone, "I don't want to be seen as weak."

"I know, I know," Simone cringed; it was unusual to see her truly repentant for something, "And looking back on it now I know it wasn't right to use you as an example just to make a point, but when it comes to that subject...it's touchy for me."

"As you explained once," Severus said, "I suppose I can see how it would be a subject that becomes to stay calm over."

"Really I didn't mean anything by it," Simone went on, rambling, "I made a big scene and probably embarrassed Nesme even more than she already was-and I appreciate you all being so understanding with me; lord knows most of you probably thought a lot like the rest of that lot before all this mayhem with Avery and Mulciber went down-really I'm just glad you are all able to see my point of view now and-"

"You're wrong," Severus cut her off.

"Pardon?" Simone asked.

"You're wrong that I thought that way," Severus clarified, "I would never have considered a love potion okay on anyone, even before what happened with Lily."

"Snape, it's okay," Simone reassured him, "You don't need to get defensive, I understand; all of us were raised thinking this stuff was okay. It's society's fault, not ours. You know better now."

Severus shook his head, "You're not listening."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Simone assured, "Changes take time. I mean, it's like with Lupin; you may be acting all civil around him for Lily, but whatever weird illness he has that you're so wary of is something you still don't fully feel comfortable with, right? You're just being polite for Lily's sake."

"Well yes, that is true," Severus replied. He wasn't about to correct Simone on her illness assumption, but she was right. He still didn't fully trust Lupin and if he were being honest, even with Simone's impassioned speeches on magical equality and Lily's bleeding heart he  _still_ struggled to imagine Werewolves being peope you were safe around, at least close to the full moon.

He cringed inwardly; Lily would hex him if she knew what he thought about it.

"So this whole issue is just like that," Simone said, breaking Severus from his thoughts.

"No it isn't," Severus denied.

Simone waved a hand dismissively at him, "Snape, I'm not going to be upset. I get it; this is still a subject a lot of society hasn't considered. I was the same way years okay. Even if you still don't fully get all the issues with consent and love potions, I'm just happy that you and others are starting to come around to att least acknowledging it is wrong."

"I'm telling you I was never like that," Severus snapped, coming to a stop.

He faced Simone down in the deserted hall.

"Even before Lily and Mary were attacked, I never would have thought forcing someone to love you was okay," Severus said seriously, "Yes, I don't spend ages fixating on our world's questionable morality, but I have aways known making someone do  _anything_ they don't want is wrong. I grew up in a hellhole, Simone. You think I never saw my mom putting up with my father's orders and threats and found a problem with how society said women should honor and obey their husbands?!"

Severus too a breath, trying to calm down, "I may not have given consent as serious a thought as you clearly have, but I still knew that enchanted love isn't real love and forced love isn't love at all."

He pointed at Simone, "Know this now; if Lily had never forgiven me, if we had never spoken to each other again...I would have done  _nothing_  to change that. I would have been upset, maybe even miserable-definitely miserable-but I never would have tried to force her to want me with a spell or potion. I would have let her go, because I don't want something fake and I don't want her unhappy. It wouldn't be real and that wouldn't have been the Lily I loved; just a fake of her created by a spell to suit my needs. I  _never_ would have been okay with doing that to her or anyone else."

He meant every word. In the days following the destruction of their friendship, Severus had been desperate. He would have given anything to have Lily back in his life in any form. But even then...he couldn't bring himself to raise a wand against her and make it happen or use a potion to change her mind. The very thought of forcing her to be by his side curdled his insides and chilled him to the bone. It painted an all too familiar portrait in his head; one of a greasy, hooked nose man and a pallid, broken woman with stringy black hair and hopeless eyes. He knew deep down that he would never want Lily to be his if she didn't want him.

"Sorry, Snape," Simone said sincerely, "It wasn't my intention to imply you were that sort of person...I just meant, I appreciate that whatever the reasons may be, you understand and support my stance on the matter..really, that's all I meant," she put her hands on Severus shoulders and looked him square in the eyes, "I was trying to say I don't see you the way I see all those guys in the hall that day; the ones who made light of it."

Severus breathed out through his nose, "I know. I...I didn't mean to get sharp with you. I suppose that that is just a subject  _I_ get heated about."

Simone smiled, "We're both hotheads, it's what we've got in common."

"Oh joy," Severus drawled, "We've alike in some ways."

"Please, you wish you were more like me," Simone sniffed, "So uh...dinner?"

Severus nodded and the pair went to the Great Hall in comfortable silence, Severus recent discoveries momentarily forgotten.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that chapter out of the way. 
> 
> Lily strikes me as generally a practical girl, so I see her using a pen whenever she can get away with it. A quill would be a big hassle when writing in your diary, as the risk of dripping a blob of ink on the page and ruining it would be a big concern. 
> 
> Considering the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron's true identities were not common knowledge to most students, I assume most everyone would know very little about them. Surely the ghosts would have said something to at least one student by now if they knew who the Grey Lady was. This probably means no one ever learned the fate of either of them, not even Helena's mother (which is sad to think of). Since Rowena never told anyone that Helena stole her diadem, and the diadem apparently remained hidden until Riddle found it using Helena's instructions on where to find it, presumably where she died was had to find and therefore her body was unlikely to be recovered. 
> 
> Severus's speech at the end is drawn from my own analysis of his character in regards to his love for Lily. Despite how desperately he loved her, it seems he did steer clear of her after she cut all ties with him, respecting her wish to never speak to each other again. There's no mention of him ever having tried anything under handed to win her over, despite having the skill and ability to make a potion or cast a spell capable of doing so. Heck, if he had tried something like that, it would probably have been something Sirius and Remus would be quick to point out whenever possible as adults (If I was forced to work with a potential rapist, I'd be airing that dirty laundry Everywhere). So it sounds like no matter how badly Snape loved and desired Lily, he couldn't bring himself to stoop to such a level; I imagine his love for her would make it too painful to have anything other than genuine love from her rather than a facsimile brought on by magic.
> 
> When Dumbledore accuses Snape of asking Lily to be spare because he hoped she would become his, Severus doesn't answer. Given my earlier assessments of Severus, I feel his lack of response was confirmation of this claim but more so because he was already aware of the absurdity of such a hope even before Dumbledore pointed it out. He knew Lily would never want anything to do with him; all he wanted was for her to live. It's doubtful he held any belief she would want to be with him and he knew it would never happen. And so, out of sadness at knowing it impossible, he deigns not to answer the a questions they already know the answer to. 
> 
> Read and review :)


	39. Ponderings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, nearly forty chapters in. Where has the time gone?!
> 
> Glad to have you back, people and I hope you're glad to be here.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter is to your liking, folks ;)

* * *

The morning after Severus's enlightening conversation with Myrtle, he waited outside the Great Hall for Lily and the others. Feigning interest in perusing his Ancient Runes notes, he stood off to the side of the doors as students sleepily milled past him on their way to breakfast. In his hand, he clutched several small pieces of parchment, each bearing the same hastily scribbled message:

' _Helena stole the diadem. Meet after breakfast'_

Initially Severus had wanted to run straight off to Lily and tell her his findings the day before, but when he had left Myrtle's abode, dinner was beginning and most would be heading to bed, study groups, or detention, making it very difficult for him to nab all his friends at once. Even if he managed to get Lily alone, he would only have to repeat what he told her to the others later on and he would rather only have to hash out this complicated puzzle once.

He should have told Simone last night, but their conversation had derailed his train of thought.

Spying Thea and Simone approaching the Great Hall, Severus gave them a curt nod as they passed, slipping the piece of paper into Simone's hand smoothly. A girl of poise and discretion, Simone gave no indication the paper was even there, walking into the large room and guiding Thea to their usual seat.

About five minutes into breakfast, Lily could be seen walking towards the Great Hall alongside Mary and her other dorm mates, Nesme and Davis not far behind, the latter engrossed in some argument that seemed to amuse Nesme to no end and drive Davis up a wall in exasperation.

Lily and Mary broke away from their group when they spotted Severus, the two girls oblivious of their other friends glares of disapproval. Severus paid half his attention to Lily's greeting and the other half to watching her two friends—a thin, willowy girl with boney, jutting hips and a curvier dark haired girl who intentionally walked with her large chest pushed forward—eyed him with distrust and disgust as they waited impatiently for their friends. A third girl, a vaguely familiar dark haired upperclassman with an athletic physique, was much friendlier to Severus as she walked by, grinning broadly at him over Lily head and waggling her eyebrows as she looked between him and the redhead.

"Take it," Severus muttered to Lily, discreetly passing her the slip of parchment, "I'll talk to you later."

Lily took the paper without question, playing it off as her getting close to look at Severus's Ancient Runes notes, "I take it you had an interesting evening?"

"One could say that," Severus replied.

As Severus handed Davis the final note, Potter and his gang came stampeding down the stairs towards the Great Hall, laughing uproariously and tripping over one another in the haste to get downstairs the fastest. Only Remus managed to avoid the tumbling stampede, trailing behind them with his nose in a book.

The boys came to a halt a few feet from the doors, straightening themselves and smoothing out their clothes. They'd received detention from McGonagall one too many times before for entering the dining hall like a 'pack of wild animals'—Sirius always looked so besides himself with laughter at that comment it was a surprise he hadn't peed himself whenever he heard her say it.

"MacDonald," James greetly politely, "Evans." He nodded to each of them as he walked by, barely turning in their direction. He paused when he saw Severus.

"Snape," he said civilly. Besides him. Black looked like he had swallowed something foul, showing remarkable restraint not to sneer at Severus.

"Potter," Severus returned.

James turned his back on Severus then, giving him no further attention. Severus noted Remus nodding approvingly from behind his friends.

When James saw Lily's other two friends waiting, he grinned widely at them, ruffling his hair.

"Jessica," James greeted charming, "Meldonna. How are you two this lovely morning?" Though he spoke to both girls, his eyes stayed on Jess.

Jess flustered, surprised by the attention, "F-fine, thank you…"

"Wonderful!" James said happily, "Would you like to join Siri and me for breakfast?"

Jess flushed red right up to the roots of her hair, "Really?" she squeaked, blushing. She shared a look with Mel, "We'd love to!"

"Great!" James said, throwing an arm over Jess and leading the dreamy-eyed girl into the Hall.

"That was…odd," Lily said after the group had left, "It wasn't just me, right? That was definitely odd."

"You're telling me," Mary muttered, staring after the Marauders, "James barely gave you the time of day."

"Do you think that means he's finally taking the hint?" Lily asked curiously, "I mean, I've always hoped he would—making a fool of himself to get my attention is embarrassing—but I honestly thought he was too stubborn to ever give up. Talk about miracles." She looked unsure of how she should react; something that put a nervous squirming in Severus stomach.

' _Please don't tell me you're actually going to miss his flirting,'_  he pleaded mentally.

Severus knew Potter had to be up to something; what they had just witnessed was surely all an act for Lily's benefit. Potter wouldn't set his sights on someone else in a million years. The very idea was absurd in Severus's mind as no girl in the school compared to Lily. As much as he hated being rivals with Potter, Severus understood why the toerag vied for Lily's attention.

No, Potter wasn't over Lily. The scene they all saw had to be part of some ploy of Potter's.

Severus broke away from his friends and headed to his house's table, all the while keeping his eye on Potter. He may have to prod Lupin for some answers on this latest development.

Severus had barely poured himself a glass of juice when he felt a presence behind him. Turning around expecting one of his more hostile and violently inclined dorm mates, he instead found Simone standing there, looming over him like a vulture.

"The hell am I waiting through breakfast to hear what this is about," Simone said matter of factly, waving the parchment piece in front of her, "We're discussing this now."

Pulling Severus up from his seat, she looked out over the four tables, eyes finding each of her friends' gazes in turn. Jerking her head stiffly towards the door, she led Severus and Thea outside of the hall.

Lily and Mary wisely waited until Nesme and Davis had followed to make a show of discussing a homework assignment, Mary loudly proclaiming she must have left hers in her dorm and asking Lily to help her find it.

When everyone was outside the Great Hall, Simone set off towards the stairs, "Step lively everyone," she called behind her.

"Where are we going?" Davis inquired as they all chased after the dark skinned girl.

"Your dorm, Davis," Simone replied, "It will be mostly empty by now and whoever's still there has the decency to mind their business."

Davis offered no argument seeing as there was very little one could do to dissuade Simone of something once her mind was made up.

Ushering everyone into the Ravenclaw common room, Simone laid claim to a corner of the room off to the side of the fireplace.

"Sit," she ordered, pointing to the space around a coffee table.

Everyone sat down on the floor circling the table, forming a tight knit crowd to avoid being overheard.

Simone fixed Severus with a commanding stare, "Now spill; who's Helena and what does she have to do with the diadem."

"Helena Ravenclaw," Severus pulled out a notebook he had jotted some information down on the night before, "Ravenclaw's daughter. She ran away around the time the diadem went missing. If you look it up, the time of her disappearance and the diadem vanishing coincide with one another."

"No one ever knew what happened to her," Simone noted, looking over Severus's notes, "What makes you so sure she took it?"

"Myrtle told me," Severus said.

"That bathroom ghost you told us about?" Mary questioned.

Severus nodded, "She has sources, presumably other ghosts in this castle who must have known Ravenclaw or knew of her."

"That's what you were doing last night?" Simone asked, "Why didn't you tell me then?"

"You distracted me," Severus defended, "Anyway, Myrtle informed me of something else most are unaware of."

Simone cocked a brow, "And that is?"

"Apparently the reason no one ever found Helena was because she was murdered shortly before her mother passed away. In Albania."

Everyone was silent at that, staring dumbfoundly at each other.

"You're sure of this?" Lily asked.

Severus shrugged, "Myrtle isn't one to lie; in fact I dare say she'll share any secret if she is desperate enough for attention. I plan to make more visit to her in order to extract just which ghosts she got this information from.""

"Well she's at least telling the truth about  _when_  Helena died," Davis stated.

Everyone turned to him in puzzlement.

"How can you be sure?" Thea asked.

"Because there is one place it is documented," Davis stood up and walked across the room. On the other side of the sitting area was a large magnificent portrait of Rowena herself in full regalia, complete with diadem.

When Davis reached the portrait he place his hand on the ornate frame and turned to the others, "Not many students know about this; only a handful of Ravenclaws even know. Xenophilius showed it to me."

Pushing the frame slightly to the side, Davis reached behind the portrait and pulled out a rolled up piece of cloth.

"There was a magical fire in the common room centuries ago," Davis explained, "It destroyed many of Rowena's remaining historical possessions. One of those items was the tapestry containing Rowena's family tree. Only this part was saved."

Unfolding the cloth, Davis revealed a ragged and burned depiction of a segment of tree branches woven from thread embroidery. There were only a handful of names and dates on the branches, each residing under a face enchanted to smile and frown at the viewer.

"Rowena and Helena have the same year for their death date," Davis explained, pointing to the farthest most names on the branches, "With them, the Ravenclaw line ended; no heirs, no descendants. All family tapestries like these are enchanted at their creation to record all additions to a family line and all the names and dates. This is the closest thing we have to a death record for Helena." Davis looked at Severus, "When I read your note at breakfast, I knew I have heard that name before; this is where I first saw it."

"Rowena probably died without seeing the change appear on the tapestry," Severus muttered, "She died having no idea what happened to her daughter."

"This tapestry was originally hidden by a riddle here in the common room, like many of the possessions left here in honor of Rowena's legacy," Davis stated, "So chances are, very few who knew Rowena personally knew where to find the tapestry, so Helena's demise remained unknown to most of the world."

"How did a fire happen in the common room?" Mary asked curiously, "Surely Rowena would have had the foresight to protect her possessions with magic."

"It's said it was fiendfyre," Davis said ominously, "A student set it off. From what the rumors say, the girl claimed she was asked to do it, but refused to divulge who ask her."

"Probably should have fessed up," Simone said, "She was most likely expelled for it."

"Is anyone seeing the connection here?" Nesme asked suddenly.

The others looked at her, baffled.

Nesme rolled her eyes and sighed, very put upon, "The only record of Rowena's missing daughter's death was nearly burned to a crisp. In a fire in this very common room. It was a fire someone asked be created. Someone was trying to get rid of it."

"But who would want to do that?" Lily asked.

"Someone who knew Helena had the diadem," Severus said suddenly, his eyes wide in understanding.

Severus began making a flurry of points on his notebook, each labeling key information they had gathered.

"Helena and the diadem vanished at the same time," he began, "This was never mentioned in a single history book so Rowena most likely took this secret to the grave. No one knew when or where Helena died other than her murderer, but that tapestry kept the record…Someone wanted it destroyed, but rather than do it themselves they asked a student to do it. This most likely is because whoever wanted the fire cast couldn't cast it themselves…If the only people who knew about the diadem were people already dead by the time Myrtle came along, chances are it wasn't a living source Myrtle went to."

"You already said Myrtle's source was most likely a ghost," Simone pointed out, "What makes it useful information now?"

"I'm saying the only ghost who could have known about Helena, and the diadem,  _and_  the tapestry was directly connected to all of it. It was probably her killer. And for Myrtle to have spoken to them, they're most likely a ghost here at Hogwarts."

"Good thing ghosts can't harm people," Nesme said in relief, "Otherwise it might be a tad bit of a probably to be roaming the halls with a killer on the loose."

"Do you think the killer is the one who stashed the diadem in the Come and Go room?" Lily asked Severus.

It was Simone who answered, "Unlikely. I found the diadem on top of a more recent make of dresser, probably in the last century or so. Whoever killed Helena did it in the…when was it, Davis?"

"The 1100's" Davis answered, looking over the charred tapestry piece.

"If the diadem had been hidden here in Hogwarts during that century, it would have been buried by more recent items by now; I doubt I ever would have stumbled across it," Simone stated.

"Okay, so we still don't know who hid the diadem," Severus sighed, making note of that on paper, "But we do know that there is a ghost from Helena's era here in the school who has information on at least her death."

"Why would the ghost of her killer come back to haunt Hogwarts," Mary pondered aloud, "You said Myrtle heard Helena was murdered in Albania. What tie did the killer have to Hogwarts?"

"I guess we'll just have to ask them when we find them," Davis said, "The question is, which ghost do we ask?"

"Nick's out," Severus declared, "I believe he said he was executed in the 15th century."

"Lord Draben too," Thea added.

"The Fat Friar was alive during the 1100s," Nesme pointed out, "Though…he doesn't exactly strike me as the kind to be a murderer, but maybe looks can be deceiving."

"Somehow I doubt it's him," Simone said.

"The Bloody Baron was from the 11th Century," Severus began.

Everyone looked at each other.

"You don't think that blood is…?" Mary started.

Lily worried her lip, "Severus?"

"No one ever has been brave enough to ask why he's covered in it," Severus reasoned.

"Ghost appear the way they died," Simone mused, "He's got a stab wound by the looks of it, but some of that blood on his hands and chest are too high up to have come from the wound, it would probably be someone else's blood."

Nesme gasped, "Helena's!"

"He gets covered in her blood…then his own…" Davis murmured.

"Meaning the Baron was murdered with her or he took his own life after taking hers," Severus finished.

"This is making a lot of sense," Simone said, rubbing her head, "But how the hell can we confirm it? It's not like we can go up to the guy and ask, 'Hey Baron, commit any heinous acts in your life time? Maybe right before said life ended.' I doubt that would go over well."

"Well we have to ask him somehow," Severus insisted, "This is important."

"If he's the ghost Myrtle's been getting her information from, why not have her ask him," Simone shot back.

Severus considered it, "That could potentially work. I can ask her tonight."

"What happens tonight?" Lily asked.

"Myrtle is going to keep a look out while I search the restricted section," Severus explained, "When Helena died, the diadem was presumably with her in Albania. Maybe there is some regional dark magic from that area I can look up that relates to the weird qualities we noticed on the diadem."

"I'm going with you," Lily said suddenly.

Severus turned to look at Lily, "…No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," Lily said insistently.

"No," Severus repeated more firmly, "You're not."

"I'm going."

"Lily be reasonable," Severus said hotly, "The more people involved, the greater chances of being caught. There's no point in us both risking detention."

"The more people the faster you can search through the books before Filch makes his rounds through the library," Lily pointed out stubbornly, "I can help you look. Two sets of eyes are better than one."

"Lily, I said no."

Lily scowled, "You act like you get a choice in this."

Severus groaned, throwing his hands up, "Fine, then maybe I'll just move this plan to another night and not tell you."

"Fine! Then maybe I'll sneak out every night to catch you and increase my chances of getting a detention. Sort of defeats your intent to keep me out of trouble, doesn't it," Lily shot back.

Severus growled, "Why are you so stubborn?!"

"Why do you think you can tell me what to do?" Lily challenged.

"Just let her have her way, Snape," Simone sighed, "it's not like you're going to win this round."

"Is no one on my side here?" Severus asked with exasperation.

"Nope," said Simone.

Mary shook her head, smiling.

Thea looked down at her hands.

"Nuh-uh," said Davis disinterestedly.

"Lily sort of scares me when she's mad," Nesme admitted, "Plus I like how red your face gets when things don't go your way."

"Then it's settled," Lily said, clapping her hands, "I'll meet you tonight after curfew."

Severus looked at their gathered group dourly, taking in their grins of amusement.

"Just…fuck of all you," he spat with a huff.

 

(page break)

 

Severus honestly considered not showing up that night purely out of spite. However, he knew Lily would make good on her promise of sneaking out no matter what and he felt he could keep the foolhardy Gryffindor out of trouble better than she could herself. This was why he begrudgingly met her outside the dozing portrait of the fat lady.

Lily's smile was so wide it made Severus's cheeks hurt to look at.

"After you," Lily happily with an exaggerated wave of her hand.

Grumbling Severus led the way to his meet up point with Myrtle.

Myrtle was not happy to see their female tagalong.

"I thought it was going to be just us," she told Severus with an offended sniff when they reached her.

Severus shrugged helplessly, "She insisted on giving me a hand. At least I'll be able to look through the books faster this way."

Myrtle looked less than pleased, but for once opted not to complain.

"Filch doesn't make his rounds in the library until midnight," the ghost explained sulkily as she led the way to the library, "That gives you around a two hour window to find what you're looking for and leave. I'll keep an out for if he comes up early, so be sure you're listening for me," she looked at the pair dubiously, "That is, if you're not too preoccupied with each other."

"She's only here to help," Severus said a little more forcefully than necessary, a slight blush rising to his face.

Myrtle sniffed, "So you say."

"Say Myrtle," Lily began, ready to get down to business, "The Bloody Baron wouldn't happen to know anything about Helena and the diadem, would she?"

Myrtle whirled around, her translucent robes whipping up, "You told her what we talked about?" she hissed at Severus.

"Like I said, she's here to help me find the right information," Severus said in defense, "I wasn't aware it was a secret. So…does the Baron know?"

Myrtle turned her back on them, her arms crossed, "It's hardly your business."

"That's a yes," Severus said knowingly, "I suppose we should ask him what he knows."

"Don't!" Myrtle cried, turning to them in horror, "He wouldn't like it if you pry."

"But Myrtle we need to know," Lily argued.

"Hasn't he been through enough?!" Myrtle asked shrilly, "He's suffered for centuries over what happened, can't you all leave him alone."

It was clear Myrtle had a soft spot for the dramatic and grim. Of course she would sympathize with a soul as tortured as the Baron appeared to be as he dragged his chains along throughout Hogwarts.

"It sounds like you sympathize with him, Myrtle," Severus pointed out, "He murdered Helena."

Myrtle looked away, a wistful, sad expression on her face.

"He never meant to…"she said softly, "it was an accident…and that's all I'll say on the matter!"

"Myrtle we need to speak with him," Severus insisted, "Don't you think it's possible he can't find peace in death because he's kept this a secret for so long and denied the living the chance to give Helena justice post mortem?"

"He killed himself, isn't that justice enough?" Myrtle asked woefully.

"Please, Myrtle?" Lily begged.

Myrtle regarded them both with thinly veined suspicion. Seeing nothing but sincerity etched across their faces, she relented.

"You won't get anything from me," she started, "It isn't my story to tell…I'm regretting telling  _you_  anything," she added, looking reproachfully at Severus, "But the Baron himself might be willing to talk—if you ask nicely. But he's sensitive about it so…be kind, alright?"

"Will do," Severus agreed.

Myrtle came to a stop outside the restricted section.

"Two hours," she warned, "I can keep him distracted, but he'll eventually catch on that something's up. So work fast." She floated away out of sight.

It may have been the enveloping darkness or the effect of the sparse moonlight steaming through the windows but the restricted section looked far vaster than in daylight hours. Endless rows of bookcases stretched out before Severus and Lily, burdensomely full with old, dusty tomes, many of which had seen better days. The old wooden shelves groaned from the weight of the impressive literary collection and the dust motes hung in the air as if suspended, illuminated only by the light of the waning moon.

Severus cast a quick Lumos and the tip of his wand began to glow, "This could take a while."

"All the better reason to get right to it," Lily stated, walking up to one of the shelves and skimming the titles, "Careful picking a book, some of these things make noises or bite if I recall."

"Don't need to tell me twice," Severus muttered, looking sourly down at a faded scar on his hand. He'd never know why someone wrote a book about magical creature attacks that actually bit back.

For the next hour, Severus and Lily worked in silence, scouring the pages of book upon book for any hint of useful information. It was slow going, and the dust made their noses red and their eyes itchy, but they were nothing if not determined to make the most of this excursion.

"Try looking up warding," Lily advised, "That may be what is making the diadem so dangerous. I've heard Black talk once or twice about his folks and it sounds like dark families know some nasty warding spells that borderline on dark with how severe the consequences are for crossing them uninvited."

"He falls directly from the most gnarled and rotting tree and yet  _I'm_  the bad apple," Severus scowled, leafing through a book on outlawed spell crafting, "The hypocrisy is stifling."

Ignoring Lily's snickering, Severus closed the book and set it aside for later; spell crafting was still an interest of his. Looking back to the shelves, he selected a different book at random. Scanning the index, Severus flipped to a section on wards that looked promising.

"It says here that some wards can be triggered slowly by intention and made to apply the principal of threefold," Severus observed, "if someone wishes to do harm, harm is done to them three times worse."

"I imagine then that the punishment can get pretty brutal if the trespasser is planning on maim or murder," Lily pointed out.

Severus nodded, "Yes, which is why it says that particular warding was made illegal in the early 1900s, but it isn't quite what we're dealing with when it comes to the diadem."

"Any luck on the regional stuff yet?" Lily asked, looking at a book on 18th century curses, "You said there was a chance the magic used is rural to Albania."

Severus shook his head, "Nothing yet. These books seems to be focusing on the level of harm the spells cause rather than where they originated from."

"Maybe we'd be better off looking for charms that are morally questionable," Lily suggested.

"Or just plain evil," Severus replied, running his fingers along the spines of the books on the shelves. Just as he was about to move to a new shelf, a peculiar title caught his attention.

' _Arts of the Mind,'_  he read to himself.

Curious, Severus cast a careful glance over his shoulder at Lily before pulling the book off the shelf.

The cover was plain and simple, bearing only the title in loopy calligraphy indented into the hard cover. Judging by how stiff the pages were, the book hadn't seen much use over the years, probably because it was on a subject rarely discussed in curriculum and therefore not useful for most research assignments.

Quietly, Severus scanned the introduction, 'Occlumency…'

Having never discovered such a subject in all his years perusing his mother's school books and the ones he snuck from his pureblooded classmates, Severus found the idea of mentally guarding the mind from invasion to be rather intriguing and dare he say it, appealing. As a very private person, he was often wary of what others may learn and use against him, keeping only a select few people close and divulging very little about himself.

Yet, even with all his paranoia, it never occurred to him that there were means to peer into someone's head and  _take_  the information they never spoken aloud.

Legilimency sounded like a rather undesirable talented; Severus valued his secrets and privacy greatly and saw the skill as a violation that would hypocritically compromise his own principals. If he indulged in such an ability, he would be no better than those who would use it against himself.

Dumbledore's inquisitive, blue-eyed stare came to mind; now that was someone who probably pried into people's minds. Severus could think of only a few rare circumstances where it would be acceptable to invade someone's mind, namely for his own protection, but that was it.

Shielding his mind, on the other hand…

"Find anything yet?" Lily asked from a bookshelf away.

"What?" Severus said with a start, nearly dropping the book, "Just stuff more beneficial to myself than our problem with the diadem."

Lily looked at Severus suspiciously, "Nothing dark, I trust."

"Not really," Severus answered, "Just complicated and difficult to learn. It's about shielding your mind from outside prying," He glanced at her, "Why? Would it bother you if I still read about dark magic in my free time?"

Lily looked away, "Not really…"

"I thought you said you understood the importance of knowing about dark magic in order to protect yourself from it," Severus reminded her.

Lily shifted uneasily, "I know, and I did mean what I said. I just…don't want you to get wrapped up in anything dangerous. Not every dark spell is dark because it hurts other people; sometimes it does terrible things to the user too."

"I'm well aware of that," Severus said, "Rest assured; this book doesn't seem to be promising harm to anyone. Rather, it's protection." He glanced at the title again, "Really, I think the only reason it's even restricted material is Dumbledore doesn't want a bunch of students with minds that are impenetrable from him."

"You think he knows how to read minds?" Lily questioned in wonder.

"You ever notice how intensely he holds eye contact when he's talking to someone?" Severus asked, "There's definitely something going on there."

Lily frowned, "That just seems so…wrong. I mean would he really do something so invasive—"

"Ickle students out of bed?"

Both Severus and Lily whipped around. There floating above them was Peeves, a Cheshire grin on his face.

"Out for a wee little date?" Peeves teased, "A little snog?"

"Knock it off, Peeves," Lily demanded, "I'm a prefect. I'll report you to Dumbledore."

"Tell him I caught you in the restricted section?" Peeves challenged. He cackled, "Oh yes, that will go over well!"

"Go away, Peeves," Myrtle snapped, floating through the wall, "No one wants you around."

"Just like no one wants you?" Peeves asked, "Pimply, pudgy Myrtle, can't get anyone to sneak off for a snog with her."

Myrtle glared at him, her lip quivering.

"Ignore him, Myrtle," Severus warned.

"Sniveling, simpering,  _single_  Myrtle," Peeves sang, "Can't get a date in life or death!"

Tears welled in Myrtle's eyes, "You knock it off!"

"Myrtle, don't listen to him," Severus insisted, seeing where things were rapidly heading.

"Ever alone, ugly, pimple faced,  _hideous_  Myrtle!" Peeves cajoled, "Forever alone and no one cares!"

That was the straw that broke the hippogriff's back. Face twisting, Myrtle let out a heartbroken wail and zoomed off down the hall, look out post forgotten.

Peeves looked down at the pair evilly.

"Peeves," Severus warned warily, "Don't make me get the Baron…"

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves screamed with delight, "STUDENTS OUT PAST CURFEW!"

"Grab what you can and run," Severus shouted at Lily, gathering up a few selected books.

The pair scrambled out of the library and took off like dementors themselves were after them. All the while Peeves kept screaming away their position.

"THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!" he yelled, "SOMEONE BETTER CATCH THEM!"

In the distance, Severus and Lily could hear the ever familiar wheezing pant and plaintive meow of Filch and his nosey cat.

"We're completely buggered," Severus cursed, as they rounded a corner and managed to evade Peeves momentarily, "Filch will be here any minute."

"Severus, what do we do?" Lily fretted.

Severus scanned the hallways desperately, "All the classrooms are locked at this hour. There's nowhere to hide."

"Severus look!" Lily pointed up ahead.

Before them, Amadeus sat staring at them from the base of a suit of armor. Getting lazily to his feet, the massive cat started off down the hall. He paused a few feet down the hall and look over his shoulder at them.

"Do you think he wants us to follow him?" Lily asked.

"I'll try anything at this point," Severus replied, grabbing hold of Lily's arm and racing after the cat.

Coming to another hallway, the pair stopped to find Amadeus sitting once again, this time in front of a tapestry of a griffin fighting a unicorn.

"Why'd he lead us here?" Severus asked in frustration, "We're sitting ducks if we don't find a hiding place."

The sound of Filch's wheezing grew closer.

"Sev, he's coming!" Lily cried.

Cornered, the pair back into the wall worriedly, Severus wrapping an arm around Lily and waiting the inevitable.

As their backs touched the tapestry however, solid stone did not greet them beneath it. Their heels hit the wall and with twin cries of surprise, the pair fell backwards into a hole, the tapestry falling back into place.

Both barely had time to gather their wits when Filch's raspy voice filled the hall.

"Where are they, my sweet?" he asked his cat, "Where could they be?"

Tangled up in their hiding place, Severus held a finger to his lips.

Filch's steps paused right on the other side of the tapestry, "Just where did they go, my dear?"

Severus and Lily looked at each other in concern, their faces inches apart.

Amadeus's deep, low meow came rumbling from somewhere on the floor. Filch's cat answered back.

"Made a friend, have we?" Filch asked, "Well maybe he knows where the students are."

Filch's footsteps moved away and grew distance, presumably following the cat.

Lily and Severus breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was close," Lily breathed.

"Indeed," Severus agreed.

The trouble behind them, the two took a moment to assess their situation. They were in an alcove of sorts, a foot or two off the ground and hidden by the tapestry. Having fallen in after Severus, Lily was on Severus's lap, her back to his chest and her head resting back on his shoulder.

As Severus had made a grab for Lily to steady her when they fell, his arm was wrapped tightly around her middle, pressing her close to him.

The pair stared at each other in awkward silence for a moment, a flush rising steadily to their cheeks.

"I…never knew there was a hiding place right here," Severus said awkwardly, his head propped up on Lily's shoulder. The weight of Lily's breasts pressed down on Severus's arm from above and he could feel his face getting hot. He shifted uneasily, counting to ten in his head.

Lily wiggled as his breath tickled her ear, her face heated, "Y-yeah. I never stopped to investigate this wall hanging before."

Severus hair hung over Lily's should and Lily caught a familiar scent of cinnamon and parchment ink. There was also the subtle hint of peppermint and sage.

Severus could smell Lily's perfume; a soft lilac and linen scent.

A few more seconds of silence ticked by.

"Perhaps we should move," Severus suggested, "Before Filch comes back."

"Right," Lily agreed rather quickly, "Of course." Easing herself off his lap, Lily carefully slid out of their hiding place, keep her feet light and gentle as they touched down on the floor.

Severus followed after her.

"Well," Severus began, neither of them making eye contact, "Tonight was certainly exciting."

"What?' Lily asked, "Oh, oh right. Yeah…this was an adventure to be sure."

They both stared at their feet, neither sure what to say in their embarrassment.

"So what books did you grab?" Severus asked after a moment.

Lily looked down at her bag.

"Just one or two," she said, pulling out two books, "One about warding, and the other one I hadn't a chance to look at yet. I just grabbed it before we ran."

The pair looked down at the cover.

Etched in deep red ink on the worn black cover were the words  _'Magick Most Foul; a Collective History of the Dark Ages'._

"They were hunting witches in full swing then," Severus murmured, gazing at the title, "Wizards and Witches would have been getting pretty desperate to defend themselves from hunters."

"So this might actually be useful," Lily said with a smile. Her eyes met Severus's and she looked away embarrassedly, "That's…good."

Severus nodded jerkily, "Yes…good."

Lily looked at Severus out of the corner of her eye.

"I should probably get back to my dorm now," Lily said quietly, "Amadeus is probably going to keep Filch busy for a while."

Severus nodded again, "Right," he cleared his throat, "I guess this is good night then."

"Yes, good night," Lily made to head off towards her dorm.

"Lily?" Severus called after her.

Lily turned around, "Yes, Sev?"

Severus paused, searching for words, "…Thank you for your help tonight," he decided upon finally, "I'm really glad you came."

Lily allowed a small smile to grace her features, "Me too."

The two of them went off to bed, their minds a mess.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! Or is it the tension? Bum, bum, BUM!
> 
> Basically, the first half of this chapter is me trying to work out a logical reason so few knew the Grey Lady was Helena in canon. Obviously, most records of her appearance must have been lost or hidden over time and the ghost that haunt Hogwarts came about after her own death and must not have met her in life. However, it seems strange to me that there isn't some historical record of Helena or pictures of her when her mother was so famous so anything related to her would surely be sought after for historical purposes. This could mean someone might have purposely gotten rid of records of Helena.
> 
> Also, I'm beginning to think Amadeus should be renamed the deus ex machina cat.
> 
> So are things developing for our dear heroes? Could change be in the air? Tune in for future chapters to find out!
> 
> read and review


	40. Blame it on the Hormones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Severus struggle with being hormonal teenagers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has any other writer on this site had issues with uploading a file lately. Because I have to tell you, it gave me a bitch of a time getting this chapter on here.
> 
> Things are starting to develop for our dear heroes and I'm not sure they know how to handle it, my friends. What do you do when you stop seeing your friend as 'just a friend'?

* * *

 

“And so it was that the infamous battle of the Gilded Griffon Café began, also known as the ‘Battle of Table Seven,’ to witnesses of the event,” Binns lectured monotonously. The ghostly professor moved his hand in elegant gestures as he wrote at the chalkboard. However, due to his obliviousness in regards to his own intangibility, the whispy, translucent educator left nothing on the board. He didn’t even appeared to be aware that he hadn’t actually picked up the chalk when he reached for it, the chalk sitting undisturbed next to the erasers.

 

“Tarback the Unpleasable—as he so widely became known hereafter—refused to pay for his meal right up to his death. He maintained to the bitter end that it had been ‘unsatisfactory’, and undeserving of his patronage,” Binns went on, “The Gilded Griffon never recovered from that death bed declaration and was posthumously shut down as a result of Tarback’s perilous review.”

 

“He is aware this wasn’t an actual fight but a series of disagreements in the local papers, right?” Mary whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

 

Jess nodded, “Wasn’t that goblin a food critic or something? He asked for a steak as rare as they could make it and they served it medium well. That sounds like a reasonable complaint.”

 

“I think anything involving goblins is a history-worthy affair in Binn’s opinion,” Meldonna mused, “I mean, this isn’t even in our books. He’s dredging this up out of nowhere.”

 

“Nothing’s he says is in the books,” Remus whispered from the table besides them, “He stopped going by the reading material ages ago.”

 

While the others continued to whispered and reflect on Binns’s faulty teaching practices, Lily was miles away mentally, lost in her thoughts.

 

‘ _What is wrong with me?_ ’ Lily wondered.

 

Ever since that night in the Library, Lily had been stuck on that very question, and all questions it created.

 

That evening was still fresh in Lily’s mind, playing repeatedly before her whenever she closed her eyes. She could still feel the tension in Severus’s hand at the small of her back, the heat of his breath against her cheek. She could still picture that undiscernible look in his eyes, like there was something he was holding back from her.

 

‘ _He smelled nice,’_ Lily recalled, that familiar essence of grass clippings and old books sweeping over her, ‘ _Better than I remembered. Did he start wearing cologne?’_ She remembered her friends’ advice about spritzing her things with the perfume or cologne of the person she missed—though they no doubt thought she was homesick for her mom or dad rather than Sev. It was true she had considered the idea if only for a brief moment. At the time, her continuous meetings with Professor Sprout had been doing wonders for decreasing her numbers so she felt the faint trace of Severus’s scent on his pillow was suffice enough to sleep to.

 

Only now that she had smelled it so close did she realize just how badly she missed it.

 

The question was why? Before, Severus scent had served as a means to soothe her fears of being defenseless, confident that his presence would provide herself conscious with the reassurance that she would not being facing Dream-Avery alone. Sev’s scent had been a security blanket used to enhance her own courage to confront her demons.

 

Now though, his scent played very little in her dreamland excursions. With her nightmares gradually decreasing, Lily stopped needing the pleasant scent as comfort. She no longer felt compelled to cling to it for strength.

 

Instead, in recent weeks, Lily sought out that scent in her waking hours almost instinctually. She’d smell it when she had a stressful school day, she’d sniffed it when she felt like a cuddle—each year it took some getting used to that she couldn’t go around hugging on people constantly the way she did her family; she was an affectionate person by nature. In the mornings after a particularly nice sleep, she’d pulled Sev’s pillow close to her and bury her face in it, breathing in deeply of his signature scent, ensuring she’d start her day off with a smile.

 

Lily hadn’t been entirely sure why she did it, but inhaling Severus scent had become routine for her, almost a habit if you will. A feeling of contentment replaced the mere comfort and relief she once experienced whenever she smelled it. It was an odd sensation, like the warm fuzziness of falling into a cloud, or holding an armful of kittens. It made her feel relaxed and peaceful, as if she could stay there forever without a care in the world.

 

Initially Lily had brushed this off as just the enjoyment only best friends could have, but now she wasn’t so sure. Getting a whiff of Ode de Sev straight from the source after so many months away from it had sent Lily’s mind into a tailspin.

 

She wanted more of that smell. She wanted to push her face into Severus’s chest, cling to him like a great big limpet, and enjoy that scent. It was frustrating. She knew when they first came to Hogwarts this year that spending her nights without Severus would be difficult, but she had learned to grin and bear it. Finally, she had gotten used to the miniscule hint of his scent from his pilfered pillow and the time they spent together. Now she had smelled it fresh and in full and it was like a quitting smoker wafting a cigarette under their own nose, and that evening in the library had only made things more difficult!

 

Lily had always been a physical, hands on sort of person with her emotions and thoughts. If she was happy, she’d hug, if she was sad, she’d cuddle. The nature of Lily’s early friendship with Sev had been made up of frequent handholding and sitting shoulder to should with a good book in their laps or with her head in Sev’s lap while he told her about magic.

 

As they got older the touches and embraces receded, turning into friendly pats on the shoulder and the playful push here and there, but the closeness became less frequent; hugs a rare occasion reserved for celebrations or holiday greetings and initiated only on Lily’s side.

 

This past summer had brought back the closeness and comfort Lily missed and so she savored every moment of it, wistful in the back of her mind with the reminder that these moments would be rare once they returned to school. She could tell Severus had missed the contact as much as she had, so it wasn’t like their renewed distance was due to embarrassment or reluctance on either of their parts.

 

However, it had been an unspoken understanding between them that others might not understand their friendship or their renewed closeness. Several of her friends were opposed to her still associating with Sev even after he risked his life for her, so she could guarantee that people would have something to say about her and Severus clinging to each other as they had when they were ten. That wasn’t even taking into account how much of an ass Potter would be if he saw them holding hands.

 

That night in the library, though…Lily didn’t know what to make of the longing and confusion it had stirred within in.

 

However brief it was, a part of Lily enjoyed the sensation of Severus’s sturdy chest against her back, the security of his arms locked around her waist. The feel of his chin on her shoulder and breath on her neck reminded her of their time sleeping in the same bed back home, but the comfort was different. It was mixed with some mysterious new feeling, one she couldn’t quite place.

 

Lily’s eyes sought out Severus, landing on the back of his head as he sat up front and wrote furiously in his notebook. Ever the diligent one, he normally used the time Binns class bought them to read up on the actual assigned book and create a study guide of all he suspected the most vital and likely to end up on their exams.

 

Lily studied Severus’s frame curiously. Even with better hygiene and a new outlook on life, very little changed about Severus outwardly. He still held himself in a defensive manner, a slight bend to his posture masking his full height, a twitchy manner to his steps. He still kept his head down most of the time, so seeing only his nose peek out from curtains of ebony hair was a regular occurrence for most students and staff who even looked his way.

 

Those who idolized his actions on the Hogwarts Express last year saw him in a completely new light, while those who always saw the worst in him determinedly held fast to the belief that he was merely working a new sinister angle. Lily suspected she had the Marauders to blame for that theory.

 

To those who knew Severus best, however, very little had changed about him. His personality, his love of learning, his impatience, they were all the same and overall he was still the same old Sev. However, for some strange reason, Lily suddenly felt as if she was looking at him for the first time and damned if she could figure out why!

 

It had clearly affected Severus too. She felt how Sev’s heart had hammered in his ribcage like the panicking flaps of a hummingbird’s wings. His arms held a rigid tension to them as he held her that she suspected had to do with the more than evading detection by Filch. Every breath Sev breathed had been shaky and restrained, as if it wrenched from him.

 

Sitting on Severus’s lap, Lily could recall something else from that encounter and it sent a hot flush to her face just remembering it.

 

Honestly, Lily should have been horrified the moment she felt it underneath her, but for some reason she wasn’t. Had it been anyone else, Lily had no doubt she would have leapt from the person’s lap in shock, bombarded with memories of Avery’s hot, horrid breath on her face and the unwanted pressure insistently pushing against her hip.

 

But Severus…it had been embarrassing to say the least, yet that was it. It was like seeing someone in the shower; you want to cover your eyes and apologize profusely….maybe peek between your fingers—not that Lily would—but the last thing to cross your mind is any fear towards the baffled person standing naked before you. If anything, you see them just as caught off guard and startled as you. Severus had shocked her, yes, but she didn’t feel the way she expected to feel, the way she would have felt with anyone else. Rather than feel the alarm and suspicion she may have felt with another boy, it was more like surprise, like ‘Oh, that’s right; you have one of those too!’

 

Lily could say with certainty that that evening had left her mystified by her own reaction, but she had even less to go on with Severus. Surely, that reaction had been just the typical boy impulse, right? It was normal for a young man to have things happened to his body that were completely involuntary on his part, so why should Lily read more into it?

 

His eyes before they parted ways that night stayed with her…there had been something about his eyes that wouldn’t leave Lily be. Coupled with her own baffling thoughts it left Lily with more questions than answers and she had no clue what to do with it.

 

‘ _It wasn’t my imagination,”_ Lily thought, thinking back to when Severus had called out to her as she left, _“He wanted to say something to me…but what?”_

 

Someone was tapping incessantly at her shoulder.

 

“Lily,” Mary prodded, a touch of impatience in her voice, “Lily, are you listening?”

 

Lily looked up with a start, “Huh?...Oh um…what?”

 

“Class is over,” Mary repeated, gesturing to the rest of their class gathering up their things and leaving.

 

“Oh,” Lily replied, flushing in embarrassment, “Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.” She discreetly spied Severus carefully assembling his things.

 

Mary snorted, “Obviously. You’ve been spacing out all day, what’s with you?”

 

“Nothing,” Lily said, closing up her books and quills.

 

Mary leaned over the desk, looking at Lily’s notebook, “You spent the whole class doodling instead of reading ahead like usual,” she laughed, pointing at the page, “What were you even trying to draw?”

 

“What?” Lily glanced down at the paper. She’d hadn’t really been doing much of anything as she mused about her predicament. She’d kept a quill in her hand to look busy as a mere fail safe, thought it was unlikely Binns would ever call on her as he never spoke to the class in general once his long winded lectures started. Still better safe than sorry.

 

Apparently Lily’s hand hadn’t gotten the message that they were only pretending to write. Etched across Lily’s notebook were masses of squiggles and lines bunched together in the margins and swirling out over the center of the paper. Intertwined and connected from her hand never leaving the paper, the symbols were hard to make out, but lost among the random shapes, it almost looked like there were some words that began with the letter S…

 

“Just scribbles,” Lily said hastily, snapping her notebook shut and cramming it into her bag, “Just wiggling my quill in circles, I guess. Aimlessly scrawling, you know?”

 

Mary giggled, “Never pegged you for a doodler,” she teased, “Usually you’re so studious, even in a class as boring as this one.”

 

“Well we’re all allowed to take a break sometime,” Lily defended, side stepping James as he carried a flattered Jess’s books out the door for her, “I’m sure I can borrow someone else’s notes later. Once they actually read the chapter, that is.”

 

“I do read it,” Mary said in her own defense, “I just don’t see the point of doing it during class if I’m going to be heading to the library later anyway. Instead I can use class time for more important endeavors…like catching up on sleep.”

 

“How productive of you,” Lily drawled.

 

Mary held her hands up in mock surrender, “Oh excuse me, Mr. Snape, we can’t all be up bright and early to study the day away.”

 

Lily nearly tripped at the mention of Severus, but recovered quickly.

 

“Oh haha,” Lily said, “Don’t come crying to me and Sev when it’s exam time and you don’t know what to study for.”

 

“Like you two would leave me hanging,” Mary said confidently, “Hi, Severus,” She waved as said boy passed them, in a hurry to his next class.

 

Severus paused, his arms laden with books, “ ‘lo you two. This your free period now, I take it?” His eyes lingered a little longer than usual in Lily’s opinion before quickly darting away. Was it just her imagination, or did his face seem a little red?

 

“Yeah,” Mary answered amicably, “Too bad you have Ancient Runes next; one dull class following another.”

 

Severus shrugged, feigning casualness, “It’s not that dull. Some Runes are actually quite interesting. But I’m already read up on this week’s lesson, so I’m probably going to do some reading of my own,” he patted the cover of the book on the top of his stack, “about our little item issue.”

 

“Is that one of the books you got from the library,” Mary inquired quietly so they wouldn’t be over heard. Though Peeves had been all too happy to expose Lily and Severus’s whereabouts that night, he was even more thrilled to have something to hang over Filch’s head and so the poltergeist hadn’t revealed just where he saw students out of bed. This left Filch with very little to go on as to what said students were up to or even which students it was, so there wasn’t much he could really report to the professors other than the meritless and non-credible claims of the untrustworthy Peeves. As of now, the staff viewed it as a false alarm brewed up by the little cretin to send Filch on a wild goose chase.

 

Severus twitched slightly at the mention of the library, doing his very best to avoid looking at Lily.

 

“Yes,” he said stiffly, his eyes riveted to a fixed position over Mary’s shoulder, “Well, I best be off then; got a lot of research to do during class,” he jerked his head forward slightly in some resemblance of an awkward bow and hurried from the classroom.

 

Mary stared after him, perplexed.

 

“Well that was weird,” she said.

 

“Yeah,” Lily said hesitantly.

 

It would seem she wasn’t the only one over thinking things.

 

 

{page break}

 

 

Severus glared glumly at the book in front of him, as he had been doing for the past half hour. Quill poised over his notebook, the ink clinging to it had long since begun to dry out and what last vestiges of wet ink remained had already dripped onto the paper in little misshapen blots.

 

It was going on the tenth time since Severus had started the chapter on enchanted artifacts and it frustrated him how little progress he was making. When he nicked the book out of the library, he was optimistic that it would prove useful in their quest for answers on the diadem. Sure, the book probably had no information specifically on the diadem itself, but that didn’t mean there couldn’t be an excerpt lurking among the pages on protective enchantments that might fit the description of the ones applied to the crown.

 

Alas, though Severus had come across a section on enchantments deemed malicious in nature by ministry regulations, it was unable to keep Severus’s interest and he knew the reason why.

 

Color rose to Severus cheeks as he thought of the night he acquired the book.

 

Lily smelled like flowers that night, a soft subtle fragrance he did notice in other girls. Most flowery scents lacked true substance, being watered down or too strong as a result of too many chemicals being mixed in to amplify whatever traits perfume makers thought enticed women into buying. Most girls Severus had the displeasure of being around—particularly pureblood girls his dorm mates used to introduce him to—wore overpriced and overpowering eau de parfum that merely imitated the scent of roses or lilacs, claiming natural ingredients but lacking flower extract in the actual list.

 

Lily on the other hand smelled of fresh lilacs with the pleasant mix of clean linen and a hint of lavender. It almost smelled soft and natural as though she had been sleeping in a bed of flowers. If Severus recalled, Willow had taken up making her own soaps two summers ago and often times sent Lily to school with a supply of body washes made from crushed flowers.

 

Willow never used lilies in her mixes because Lily would hate the irony of it, already annoyed by boys such as Potter giving her lilies as a gift.

 

“Just because my name is a flower doesn’t mean that’s my favorite flower,” she would gripe to Severus after every Valentine ’s Day, “What if my name was Venus? Would someone give me a fly trap?! It’s not clever, it’s a bad pun.”

 

In truth, as lovely as Lily’s name was, the flower that was her namesake had a very weak scent that didn’t carry very well into natural made perfumes. Her favorite flower the lilac, however, was strong and rich, tingling the senses and clinging to ones clothes for hours. Severus could see why Lily loved it so; the scent filled him with a feeling of calm and contentment only Lily ever brought out in him.

 

That night, however, being so close in such a confined space had made him more on edge than relaxed to enjoy the scent. They had been too close, close enough for him to easily make a fool of himself or create a situation so awkward they’d never lock eyes again out of embarrassment. Pressed so tightly to Lily, the warmth of her body seeping into his very bones, it had taken every bit of Severus’s strength to keep his wretched teenage hormones under control.

 

Of course, controlling the baser reactions of a boy’s hormones was near impossible. You can control what you do with your little soldier, so to speak, but that didn’t mean you can keep him from standing at attention. So of course, the second Severus tried to avoid dirty thoughts, parts of himself perked up as if to go, “dirty, you say?”

 

Perhaps it was petty, but a part of Severus couldn’t help but blame Lily for the whole mess. If she had just listened to him and stayed in her dorm, this whole mess could have been avoided. It was far easier to stay hidden if you had only yourself to watch out for, and Lily only gave Severus an extra person to keep out of trouble.

 

Peeves probably wouldn’t have been so inclined to rat them out either if it was only one student out of bed. The fact that it was a boy and a girl made the rule breaking seem more scandalous, something Peeves obviously relished in. Even if he had still called Filch, Severus wouldn’t have been as concerned had he been caught. He could handle detention just find and as long as no one figured out where he had been sneaking into, it shouldn’t have caused too much trouble.

 

But Lily was a prefect. A detention doled out to her would be the talk of the school in no time, calling undue attention to her and ultimately their research. Severus also couldn’t in good conscience let Lily get in trouble on his behalf. He had searched for a hiding place for both of them instead of splitting up as would have been wise and they ended up in one awkward heap.

 

Therefore, it had been with great mortification that Severus sat in that alcove with Lily that night, all too aware that at any moment she might shift slightly and _feel_ him in the worst possible way. He was almost positive she had felt it when Filch had passed their hiding place and Lily had leaned back into him to avoid the man catching them. She even stiffened up right after, something Severus saw as a sure sign she’d noticed his indiscretion. He’d expected a shriek, a slap or even punch and berating, yet Lily said nothing.

 

She must have noticed _something_ though, as she was as tomato read as Severus imagined he was when they climbed out of the alcove. He’d avoided making eye contact, sneaking only brief glances at Lily and wasn’t surprised to find her doing the same. Clearly, she was embarrassed by the whole situation. Maybe even humiliated; something Severus couldn’t blame her for since it was probably very unpleasant to struggle with a distrust of men and their lusts after everything that’s happened. Then to have your best friend, the one you trusted most, get an erection in your presence must feel appalling and upsetting.

 

Yet Lily didn’t seem angry. In fact, a part of her seemed almost confused if anything. Did she really find it so farfetched that Severus would react to being so close to her body? It wasn’t like she was unaware of her attractiveness. She was modest, but not blind. Half the school admired her looks and appeal, her developing curves and radiant smile putting many under her spell. You’d have to be blind or not like women at all in order to not find her desirable.

 

Therefore, it was strange to see confusion etched across Lily’s blushing face. Why was she surprised? She didn’t need to realize his feelings for her to guess that as a teenage boy he’d react to her sitting in his lap.

 

The blushing was odd too. Without anger, the flush of her face wasn’t one of repulsion and embarrassment as Severus would have originally guessed. In fact, had he been a bystander to the evening, seeing her blush like that would have put him on edge about whomever caused it. However, she was looking at _him_ , and surely, she couldn’t have been shy or flattered that he found her attractive, right? He was no James Potter, no sterling Quidditch player with looks and money at his disposal. There was no charming smile or wind swept hair; only crooked grins and flat locks that got oily too quickly.

There was no way Lily would be interested in him or enjoy the prospects of him liking her. There had to be another reason she reacted the way she did.

 

Severus closed the artifacts book with a groan, drawing the curious glances of a few nearby classmates, but a withering glare from him sent their eyes back to their Ancient Runes books.

 

Concentration was near impossible at this point for Severus. Just looking at anything related to the diadem or the research of it made him think of where he got the book from and whom he got it with, circling right back into the same troubled thoughts all over again. All he needed to do was remember why he needed the book in the first place, he’d think of who else shared this secret with him, and that just led him back to thoughts of Lily.

 

Knowing he would be making no progress with diadem research now, he put the book away and looked for something else to occupy his time. He really had no interest in dragging out his Ancient Runes book as he’d already read the chapter they were covering and done the necessary assignments. That left him with a class of wasted time and he would much rather be productive than sit around blank faced and vacant like many of his empty-headed classmates.

 

Looking through his bag, Severus spotted another book from his late night trek to the library. Since returning from that near disastrous stealth mission, Severus hadn’t given the Occlumency book a second glance. Now with time to whittle away, he may as well take a peek.

 

The way in which he acquired the book and with whom should have resulted in the same lack of focus the other book did, but it was thankfully quite the opposite. His close encounter with Lily left him feeling exposed and vulnerable, questioning how easily others could read him. The last thing he needed was for Lily to realize the depth of his feelings for her and end their friendship. He’d need to play things closer to the vest, keep his secrets well hidden, more so than he ever had before. Learning to occlude his mind and keep a straight face was a good place to start.

 

While the rest of class struggled through their rune work, Severus occupied himself with the book’s first chapter covering the basic principles of the Mental arts. He made sure to write down anything of importance on a separate piece of parchment since he didn’t want to run the wish of this book being recovered at some point after he returned it and someone recognizing his handwriting. Call him paranoid, but now that he was on to Dumbledore’s ability to read minds, he wouldn’t put it past to the old goat to have memorized his handwriting or something else equally abstract since he took an interest in Severus.

 

‘ _It’s not even that I nearly died that caught his attention,_ ’ Severus sneered inwardly, _‘it’s that I did it defending someone from his favorite house.’_ Severus would have come to Lily’s aid regardless of what house she was sorted into, but he got the feeling Dumbledore wouldn’t have been nearly as invested in Severus’s wellbeing if Lily was a Hufflepuff Severus rescued.

 

Perhaps Severus was simply being pessimistic and the Headmaster did actually care about him, but the incident with the Shrieking Shack made it hard to believe Dumbledore capable of caring for someone if they didn’t share his own moral alignment. Should a teenager’s misguided quest for safety and acceptance really put the value of their life at so little worth?

 

It bothered Severus how easily Dumbledore could measure the worth of someone. He assessed people at first glance and labeled them accordingly, only finding value in their life when they presented a quality he deemed admirable, such as foolhardy bravery. Sure, teachers were known to have favorites and perhaps hold some bias when it came to certain students, but to actual weigh which students’ _life_ mattered more…that seemed far to indifferent over life to be called the moral good. Dumbledore’s job was to protect and value _all_ his students, not just those he deemed worth saving.

 

That’s why it irked Severus so to have Dumbledore’s support now. The man seemed all too content to let him walk the worst possible path and make the biggest mistake of his life back before Severus squared off against Avery and Mulciber. Before that, Dumbledore didn’t see it his priority to try and guide Severus to a better option or even hear him out. In his mind, Severus was a lost cause back then and the headmaster was more than willing to let him become part of something that would have left his life a meaningless pit of regret.

 

With how obviously many of You-Know-Who’s student followers were in over their heads, a man of Dumbledore’s keen insight could surely see they had no idea what they were getting into. Most of them would live out a life of disillusion and remorse up until they inevitable died as You-Know-Who’s canon fodder against the Ministry. Their own master would probably kill some of them off when they were unable to follow through with his demands for blood and cruelty. Those that swallowed their revulsion and did as commanded would live on with guilt and disgust wallowing inside them until the bitter end.

 

Seeing how many students were choosing this path with only an inkling of what unspeakable madness lay before them, it baffled Severus that Dumbledore didn’t take it upon himself to try to steer more of them away from such a future. Instead, all his efforts went towards those students already firmly in his pocket.

 

Now that Severus had shown himself capable of playing the hero should those he love be harmed, he knew Dumbledore probably saw him a useful chess piece to utilize as he played with You-Know-Who. Severus did not intend to let Dumbledore use his fears and feelings to benefit his cause. He’d protect Lily, he’d fight You-Know-Who’s vision of a perfect world if only for her and his friends and family’s sake, maybe even to redeem himself, but he wouldn’t be a pawn to anyone. Undoubtedly, Dumbledore wanted to help the greater good, but there was something quite callous about how he manipulate his players in order to achieve this, playing on

 

His resolved to not be used made Severus all the gladder he stumbled upon this book. He’d keep his secrets safe and fight this battle on his own terms to keep all those he cared for safe. Dumbledore could lead his own merry band of mindless soldiers into the fire; Severus would fight with brains, not brawn.

 

Of course, he still had no idea just what he was going to do to stop You-Know-Who, but anything had to be better than suicide missions, right?

 

Potter would probably call that cowardly thinking, but Severus called it smart. How in Merlin’s name do you protect your loved ones if you’re constantly taking needless risks? What good was a willingness to throw your life away at any given moment if it meant leaving those you cared for behind and defenseless? There was a time and a place to lay it all on the line; for love, for _Lily_ , but not at every single ministry raid and certainly not for the thrill and glory of rushing into a firefight with wands waving.

 

Severus was just finishing outlining the key points of chapter two when the professor dismissed class. Charming his notes against potential prying eyes, Severus tucked the parchment into his journal from Marcus, knowing the amount of privacy hexes on that book would keep his research safe.

 

Severus waited for the herd of departing students to thin out a little before joining them, picking the Occlumency book up with his Ancient Runes one with little concern for the passersby. He’d considered the attention the books title would call to him the evening he picked it out. It was with some clever thinking and hard work—transfiguration never was Severus’s strong suit—that he transfigured a long piece of parchment into a false cover for it. Smiling, Severus slipped his fake _‘Herbology for the Practical Potioneer’_ into his bag.

 

Halfway down the stairs, Severus nearly bump into the very person that he had been trying to distract himself from during class.

 

“Sev,” Lily said breathlessly, taking a step back, “…Hi.”

 

Behind her, her friends Jess and Meldonna, along with a third Gryffindor girl Severus could never recall the name of, looked down their noses at him. Mary was surprisingly absent.

 

“Hello,” Severus said awkwardly, “You’re free period is over then?”

 

Lily nodded quickly, looking anywhere but Severus, “Yeah, it ended a few minutes ago. Mary forgot one of her quills in the classroom,” Lily added, “We figured we’d meet her at our next class…Herbology.”

 

“That’s…nowhere near here,” Severus pointed out, gesturing in confusion to the tower they were in. The greenhouses were quite a ways off from this side of the castle.

 

“Yes, um…” Lily fiddled with her bag, pulling out a large glass orb, “One of the third years was catch with one of the crystal balls from the Divination classroom. It’s on the top floor and it needed to be returned so...” she shrugged, “prefect duty and all.”

 

“We would have thought your class would be over by now,” Jess said tartly.

 

“Yes,” Meldonna sniffed, “We didn’t realize we would be running into you.”

 

The third girl—Abigail, Severus recalled—made a quick glance at her friends before copying their expression.

 

“Not that there is anything wrong with that,” Lily stated warningly, shooting her friends a look, “We just thought you would have left that class as soon as possible seeing as it bores you.” She shifted awkwardly, “You have free period next?”

 

“Yes,” Severus said quickly, jerking his head in a nod, “Yes, I do. I…I better be getting to it then.”

 

“Right,” Lily said with a little laugh, looking at her shoes.

 

Severus made to step around Lily, but Lily did the same thing at that moment. Without thinking, they both stepped back the same way in an effort to move for the other.

 

“Oh…I,” Lily began.

 

The pair laughed awkwardly, a little at a loss.

 

“Let’s just…” Severus put his hands on Lily’s shoulders and moved her opposite of him, effectively switching their places, “There we go.”

 

“Right, right,” Lily said, “Um…see you later?”

 

“Of course,” Severus said, then caught himself. He didn’t want to appear too eager, “I mean…we have study group later, so…”

 

Severus turned on his heel and stiffly walked away as quick as his legs could carry him. Behind him he could hear Lily’s friends whispering furtively.

 

“What is with you, Lily?” Jess hissed.

 

Lily made a shushing sound, “It’s nothing. Just forget it!”

 

Once out of earshot Severus came to a stop. Leaning against the wall, he tried to catch his breath and wish the red away from his face.

 

Lily was just acting this way because she was embarrassed, right?

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird when you first start crushing on a friend, huh? Things used to be so innocent and simple, now suddenly you're caught between fighting inappropriate thoughts about them and wondering when they stopped being just your friend and started being appealing.
> 
> I can't say I truly know the feeling, being asexual and all, but in my youth, I once thought I was in love with my best friend and let me tell you it is a confusing place to be. Turns out that due to my difficult homelife, I just latched onto her for comfort and self consciously tried to tell myself it was love in order to gloss over how dependent I became on her.
> 
> As you can see here, Severus is having a hard time imagining the girl he sought after actually reciprocating his feelings. Part of this is because Severus has never seen any inkling of interest from Lily whereas he has been smitten since day one, so in his mind it is unlikely Lily would start to like him gradually. He doesn't see himself as having changed that much to warrant a change in her feelings, so it's laughable to him that Lily would start to like him now when she didn't before. 
> 
> Read and review, lovelies!


	41. Feelings, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One puzzle comes closer to being solved while Lily finds herself stuck in another one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *appears in a puff of smoke*
> 
> Greetings my fellow fanfic lovers!
> 
> As usual thanks for all the great reviews and feedback. You guys are awesome.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter, just teenagers and good old hormones.

* * *

Severus was one of the stragglers still working on breakfast one Saturday Morning when a box slammed down in front of him, nearly spilling pumpkin juice onto his plate of eggs.

"That would be a terrible combination," Severus pointed out dourly as he lifted his plate out of reach of the spreading spill and fixed Simone with a glare.

"Vitamin C and proteins all at once; what's not to like?" Simone asked flippantly as she vanished the juice, "Never mind that, I've found the answer to our problems. Well one of them at least."

"Which problem would that be," Severus asked with disinterest, "You'll find that I have plenty of problems to contend with."

"The diadem, you berk," Simone hissed, leaning close enough that they were nose to nose, "I think I've found our in with the Bloody Baron."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "You found a way to question him that won't end in him just floating through a wall and out of our reach? What could you possibly have to leverage his cooperation?"

Simone patted the box before her proudly, "That's where this little baby comes in." She opened the box and gestured for Severus to peer inside.

Looking in, Severus found a large stack of worn out and crumpled, yellowing pages of parchment. Some of the ink was so faded the words were hard to make out, "What exactly am I looking at?"

"Letters," Simone said simply, "They're the ones from the bottom of the puzzle box."

"You opened the box?!" Severus nearly shouted.

"Shh!" Simone slapped her hands over Severus's mouth. Glancing around them suspiciously, she found a few tardy students lingering about the Great Hall, some watching them with newfound curiosity.

"What? Have you lot never heard of minding your own business?" she said reproachfully.

The students nearest them quickly looked away.

"Keep your voice down," Simone hissed at Severus.

Mouth still covered, Severus rolled his eyes. Drawing his wand, he waved it lazily in the air and muttered something muffled by Simone's hands. A buzzing sound filled the air around them.

Catching on, Simone lowered her hands, confident they wouldn't be overheard now.

"Considering which one of us made the monumentally stupid decision of reopening the box containing a potentially dangerous object, I don't think you're in any position to give me attitude, Serapeum," Severus said harshly, "Do you have any idea the astronomical amount of trouble you could have caused?"

"Keep your skivvies on, I didn't go alone," Simone snapped, "Thea and Davis went with me and they made sure I didn't touch the blasted crown. I just wanted the letters underneath it."

"What could possibly be so important about these wrinkled pieces of paper that you would put us all at risk for it?" Severus questioned angrily.

Simone huffed, "When you say it like that it makes it sound bad."

"It  _is_  bad!" Severus growled.

Simone waved her hands at him, "Calm down and let me explain. So I was lying in bed two nights ago thinking our whole Baron predicament. It is doubtful a potential murderer is going to be willing to talk about it with some students and it's not like we have a means to physically keep him from ditching us and avoiding us until we graduate. We needed an advantage, something that would make him want to talk to us or at the very least make him feel obligated to."

"We've established this issue many times, Serapeum," Severus drawled.

Simone stuck her tongue out at him, "Don't be cheeky, just listen. Thinking about this got me thinking on the diadem again. I mean, it's pretty creepy to think it's just sitting here in the school, capable of Merlin knows what with nothing but a puzzle box to protect us when WHAM! It hit me."

"The Knight Bus carrying the point to this conversation?" Severus guessed.

Simone pursed her lips at Severus. She flicked a grape at him and managed to smack him in the chin.

"Enough lip out of you," she said, "Anyway, it dawned on me: those letters in the puzzle box. Davis said they were written by a  _Baron!"_

"So you dragged him and Thea back into danger for letters that might be written by our Baron," Severus stated with exasperation.

"They  _were_  written by him," Simone insisted. She reached into the box and pulled out one of the letters, "Look."

Severus inspected the letter. Much of the words were hard to make out, but a few key words stood out to him, "My Dearest Helena…"

"Helena Ravenclaw," Simone exclaimed triumphantly, pulling out a few more letters, "Her surname is never stated implicitly, but the clues are all there. There's mentions of her being in Ravenclaw, praise about her intelligence and how it  _rivals her mother's_ ," she looked meaningfully at Severus, "And look here; he writes about how she never returned his feelings due to their houses _. 'What fool I was to think a bird would wish to slither with a serpent than soar in the sky,'_  He was in Slytherin!"

"As is the Bloody Baron," Severus surmised, "From what I've gather, the Hogwarts Ghosts haunt their respective former houses."

Simone nodded excitedly, "It all fits; the ghosts here are all afraid of the Bloody Baron because he's violent and in these letters the writer constantly apologizes for his 'ill temper' getting the best of him. Hell, some of these letters weren't even love letters, they're just him cursing her out for rejecting his advances. Then the ones following each of those are apologies."

Severus examined the letters thoughtfully, "These are all possible evidence, but it doesn't prove it was written by the same person. The girl's mother is never mentioned by name so we can't confirm it was Rowena. This could be a different Baron, a different Helena, even a different era."

"There's more," Simone continued, shifting through the letters, "In all of these, the guy just signs his name, 'Oswald Barclay,' or 'Waldo' for short. He doesn't actually use the term Baron," she pulled out one letter, less worn than the others, "until this one last letter."

Curious, Severus took the proffered letter,

' _My Dearest Helena,_

_Long has it been since last we saw each other. It feels as if life times have come and gone since our school days when last I saw your face._

_Ages have passed since you fled our schools hallowed halls with not even a goodbye. Your mother wastes away in longing for you and I would be a fool to deny that so have I._

_Oftentimes I wonder what ever became of you. Were you captured by the invading Normans and killed? Did you grow ill and fade away? Did someone capture your heart, earn your trust and whisk you away from me? Woe be unto me that you might have found happiness with another!_

_Your mother isn't much longer for this world. She has asked that I retrieve you and bring you back to the safe haven of her bosom before she passes._

_Darling, if only I knew where to begin to search for you. Nary a day goes by that I haven't thought about you, about your grace, your beauty._

_I will find you, my love. I promise to find you and then you will see that my heart is true and my words real._

_Forever yours,_

_Baron Barclay'_

"This was the letter Davis saw at the top of the stack," Simone explained, "It's untouched; he never sent it. All the others he sent during their school years and they're so beat up, it seems like he fished them out of whatever trash Helena threw them away in. He placed them all in that puzzle box before he left to find her; a memento of his unrequited love."

"Unrequited for a reason," Severus huffed, "He sounds rather delusional."

"There's no arguing that," Simone agreed, "But look at what he wrote. 'The invading Normans', he's talking about the Norman Conquest. That happened at the end of the 11th century and following it, feudalism came to Britain. That's when he got his title of Baron; not long before he died."

"And our Bloody Baron bears the title while wearing 11th century attire," Severus concluded, "Well, I daresay your theory has gotten more merit to it. Let's say these are his letters, how do we use them to our benefit?"

"We sympathize," Simone said sneakily, "Think about it; he was obsessed with Helena. It's very likely her death was the result of another rejection she gave him; the folly of his 'ill temper' if you will. Clearly in his mind, what he felt was true love; that they belonged together. We play off of that conviction and lend him a sympathetic ear."

"Seriously?" Severus asked in disbelief.

Simone shrugged, "It worked for Myrtle, didn't it? She sympathized with him, she even seems to feel for his plight, and he opened up to her. That's the only reason she even knew about Helena at all. Trust me, once we have his trust, we can start to weasel in questions about the diadem. If we have to, we can put a noble spin on it; say that finding the diadem she stole will let her spirit be at peace."

"I'd say that's sneaky, but then you probably already knew that," Severus drawled.

Simone smirked, "We're Slytherins, my dear."

"Which makes sincerity on our part seem rather suspicious," Severus pointed out, "Something the Baron will be wise to, seeing as he once was one."

"Fine, if you're not up to playing nice we'll have someone else do it," Simone huffed, crossing her arms and turning away, "Ask Lily, people trust her."

Hearing no response, Simone looked back at Severus only to find him suddenly very still, his fork frozen halfway to his mouth.

"What's with you?" she asked, befuddled.

Blinking, Severus dropped his stiff posture, ducking his head down and returning to his meal.

"Nothing," he replied, digging into his food with more force than necessary.

Simone watched Severus curiously, her mind tracing back over what she could have possibly said to set him off. Only one word stood out to her, or rather a name.

"Did something happen between you and Lily recently?" she asked nonchalantly.

Severus fork nearly missed his mouth, but he recovered quickly, "I don't know what you're talking about," he said dismissively.

"It's just that you seemed rather…tense when I mentioned her name," Simone explained calmly, folding her hands and threading her fingers together, "Almost as if you're hiding something."

"I haven't the slightest clue what you're getting at, Serapeum," Severus said just as calmly, an air of innocence about him.

Simone tapped her finger to her lips, eyes to the ceiling as she pretended to search her brain for something, "Let's see…what could it be…? Oh, I know! Did something happen in the library?"

Severus became very interested in examining his scrambled eggs for bits of shell, "Speaking of the library, Madam Pince seems to have found the stack of Wizard's Health books you moved to the 'fiction' section."

"They still describe menstruation as unhygienic," Simone defended, "That's fiction enough for me. Anyway, it's beside the point; something did happen, didn't it?"

When Severus deigned not to answer, Simone's face split into a wide, eager grin.

"Well…details, man!" she demanded.

"I wasn't aware I was one of your gossip partners," Severus said with a sneer, "Go find some a woman to giggle and coo with."

Simone threw another grape at him, "Sexist," she warned, "Seriously though, what happened?"

"Nothing," Severus said plainly, "It was an average night with an average conclusion."

"That's dragon shit and you know it," Simone stated. She steepled her fingers and hummed, "Two students, alone after dark, the rush of breaking rules making their blood flow hot in their veins…I can only imagine what one may get up to…"

"You're talking nonsense," Severus bit out, "It was an accident."

"Oh, so something did happen!" Simone exclaimed.

Severus grit his teeth, cursing inwardly.

' _I should have started Occlumency a week earlier,'_  he thought bitterly,  _'I'd have better control over what comes out of my mouth.'_

Simone looked like a particularly happy Cheshire cat, "You have to tell me now."

"I fail to see how my love life—or lack there of," he added when he saw Simone's eyes light up in expectation, "Is any of your business."

"There's nothing shameful or embarrassing about being in love, Snape," Simone told him. A dreamy smile lit her face, her gaze far off and half lidded, "It can be the most wonderful thing in the world."

Severus snorted, "I suppose you speak from experience?"

Simone flicked Severus on the nose, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Your own secrecy isn't exactly making your case any stronger on why  _I_  should speak," Severus pointed out.

Simone pouted petulantly, "Fine, no details…just give me a general idea."

Severus sighed, "If that will put an end to your prying," seeing Simone giving him puppy eyes made him groaned.

"Peeves ousted us to Filch," he began, "In looking for a hiding place we ended up in close quarters in a rather compromising position. That's all," he crossed his arms, "It was brief, we were both embarrassed and I bet she'd hoping it never happens again."

Simone grinned, head in her hand as she stared at Severus, "Don't be too sure, Snape. Just because you too are close friends doesn't mean you fully understand what goes on in a lady's head." She cut off what Severus was going to say next, standing up abruptly, "I'll ask Lily to help us out with the Baron; you work on getting that 'I'm in love' look off your face."

She left a sputtering Severus behind as she grabbed the box of letters and left.

 

{page break}

 

"Ladies," James greeted as he sidled up next to Lily and her friends in the courtyard, "And how are you all doing this lovely day?"

"We're fine, Potter," Lily sighed in annoyance, "We actually were trying to study, so if you don't mind—"

"How about that," James said dismissively, not even looking her way, "So Jess, the last Quidditch match before winter hols is coming up soon. I was wondering if you were going to come cheer me on. Be my lucky charm, perhaps?"

"Oh," Jess gasped, her cheeks coloring nicely, "I…I would love to."

James gave her one of his patented charming smiles, "Fantastic. I wouldn't mind seeing you at some of the practices either. Might lift the team's spirits during dreary practice to see a lovely lady in the stands."

Jess was positively dizzy with excitement, "Of course!"

James's smile was practically blinding, "Perfect. I'll see you around. Oh, and feel free to sit by me at dinner," he waggled his eyebrows at her and winked before walking away, whistling a merry tune.

"Oh my gosh!" Jess cried, fanning her face.

"Sounds like he really fancies you," Meldonna gushed, "You lucky girl!"

"I know," Jess said happily, "I can't believe he's interested in me. It feels like a dream."

"If it is, we won't wake you," Meldonna teased.

Abigail nodded, "Congratulations Jess."

Lily listened to her friends drone on with a frown, eyes fixed on Potter's retreating back.

For the past few weeks, James had fawned more and more over Jess whenever they crossed paths. He'd flirt with her in classes, compliment her in the halls, and invite her to eat with him at nearly every meal. Jess rarely had to carry her own schoolbooks anymore, James more than eager to offer his assistance in carrying them to and from her classes. He even asked her to accompany him to the last trip to Hogsmede coming up.

All in all, his actions baffled Lily. For years the confident boy had pursued her relentlessly, ignoring not only her rejections, but her feelings as he hounded her endlessly while harassing those closest to her. The farther she pulled away from him the more he tried to insert himself into her everyday life, butting into conversations with friends, bothering her at the library or anywhere he caught her alone, and calling out to her from across crowded rooms to ensure she knew he was there.

Any and all attempts he made at being charming or flirtatious were usually ruined within the next few minutes by a egotistical comment about himself or a mean spirited hex on someone else 'for a laugh'. It did little more than highlight his immaturity and self-centeredness.

When he wasn't bothering her directly, he was usually striving for her attention by causing a scene in her presence. Every attack on Severus was little more than an attempt to bring Lily to him, taking her scolding and insults as an opportunity to interact with her. His constant disregard for how his actions against Severus made her feel made it all the more clear that his vying for her attention was driven out of physical attraction than any interest in her mind or respect for her character.

James had chased after Lily for so long, it seemed his affections would never wane. Only now they had, and it seemed to come from completely left field.

Lily had always told herself James would take the hint eventually and move on, but now that he had it seemed strange. For someone who had claimed his devotion for her for so long, it was odd he moved onto someone else so easily, without any lull in his behavior. He merely switched them from Lily to Jess in a heartbeat and it caught Lily entirely off guard.

Lily often felt James's feelings for her were superficial, but it was still hard to believe he was actually over her. It brought up some questions she'd like to think herself above the pettiness of. Questions like why Jessica had replaced her? Did it mean she was prettier than James said Lily was? Did he find her as smart and kind as he oftentimes raved about Lily being?

It was shallow, she knew, but that didn't stop Lily from wondering. As irksome as James childish behavior often was, Lily couldn't help but feel a little flattered by his attentions. Deny it all she might, Simone was correct when she said Lily liked being the center of someone's world, being told she was special and pretty, that she was like no other girl. It was the contradictory nature of Lily's self-esteem; long had she wanted to find others who did magic, but she also craved the uniqueness of her muggle life where there were no others quite like her. Therefore, she strove to fit in while rising above others for the recognition and praise people were so eager to give out. She supposed she was a little spoiled by all her parents' praises and encouragement, but she couldn't help but preen under the special attention.

James had given her that in spades. Nothing she did was ever too mundane or simple; no act anything short of amazing according to him. He was the first boy to openly call her pretty and he continued to lavish compliments on her as they grew older. It was head swelling to know just about every antic and prank from him carried with it an ulterior motive of impressing her.

Flattered as she was, Lily did mean it when she said she wouldn't date someone who hurt Severus so severely. Still, it was a pity that the pair had never been on better terms as she couldn't say it wouldn't have been  _nice_  to date James. He was handsome and popular and had this way of lighting up a room and getting everyone's eyes on him. Plus, when he was in the presence of just Gryffindors, he could be very kind and thoughtful, as demonstrated by the lengths he went to befriend and stand by Remus or take someone like Peter under his wing. He could be brave and caring when the situation called for it and he was always trying to make someone laugh. She could see how he had so many under his spell, even the teachers. Lily couldn't say she hadn't felt her heart beat faster when he looked her way a few times herself.

But he was also quick to judge and write people off for something as superficial as what color their tie was, basing his assumptions of them on whether it was gold and red or green and silver. He judged books by their cover so easily and rarely went back on his gut instinct about the matter, refusing to sway. James made broad generalizations of people and labeled them bad for life if they varied in any way from his own brand of thinking and Severus was a prime example.

For years he insisted there was nothing good about Sev, even doubting Lily's own words and experiences, disregarding her opinion and feelings to heap unfair punishment on her friend even when there was nothing to blame him for. It was this quick draw attitude, this lack of understanding that made Lily skeptical there could be anything beneficial to dating him.

She supposed if she had stayed away from Severus after their falling out last year, her stance on James could have changed. That day by the lake could have very well painted her image of Slytherin in a more wholly negative light if she hadn't had a heart to heart with Severus after everything came to pass. She was certainly hurt enough that it would have taken much to convince her to brand them all as no good just to soothe her bruise feelings. That might have left her more inclined to put up with James's black and white view of right and wrong, maybe even loneliness for a strong male friendship would have driven her to spend time with him and his friends, perhaps grow to like him. She couldn't say for sure.

Regardless, she had forgiven Sev, he had forgiven her, and they're friendship was stronger than ever, so she certainly would never give James a chance now.

Not that it mattered, seeing as he had apparently moved on…

Lily studied James features as he talked with his friends. He definitely was nice to look at. Strong features, with kind eyes and lips that always had a hint of a smile pulling at the corners. His body was toned from years of athleticism on a broom, his chest broad with a washboard stomach, his arms bearing the telltale sign of muscle. His legs were long and thick, large thighs from gripping a broom and a buttocks firm and svelte. He often sported a windswept look, with the barest hint of sweat wafting off him from running about the castle looking for mischief. It was sort of pleasant.

' _Sev smells nice too,'_  she thought with a sigh.

Lily shook herself with a start. Where had  _that_  come from?

Lily had been giving it her most valiant effort to not think about Severus when they weren't hanging out. Aside from seeing each other for study sessions with their friends, the pair had managed to avoid each other rather well despite sharing a social circle. Not wanting to dwell too much on that night in the library, Lily had done her damned best to push her friend from her mind whenever possible. His name crossed her mind causally in regards to regular occurrences—'Sev has that class,' 'James picks on Sev too much,' and so on—but she didn't let her thoughts ever linger long enough to entertain anything more personal, such as his smell…or his eyes…how long his lashes were up close…

' _What is wrong with me?'_  Lily thought frantically.

Now that he had enter her head, Lily found she couldn't shove him back out. Mixed up in her musing on James she found herself comparing the two.

Where James was toned, Severus was lanky, but he was by no means skinny these days. A hearty diet from her family and Simone watching his eating habits left Severus with some healthier weight to him finally, filling out his figure more so than previous years. His chest was wider and flat, a smooth plain Lily liked to lay her head on and listening to his heart beat. His shoulder were broad and pronounced, his neck long and slender. He was more legs and anything, and his thighs while not as thick as James's were firm and sturdy with corded muscle. Lily could recall their warmth as she had huddled in that alcove with Sev.

Severus's face wasn't conventionally handsome, but there was never anything ugly about him. It was more his oftentimes negative and sour personality to alter people's perception of him. His nose was big, but was by no means bulbous or huge as would be comical. It was distinctive; a quality that gave him character, accentuating his stern and mature presence. It fit in perfectly with his severe expression and reserved nature. His eyes were cold and piercing at first glance, but Lily had found from a young age that they could hold a warmth and joy that filled her with happiness, how they lit up in excitement when he was talking about something he was passionate about.

His lips were thin and pale, but when he genuinely smiled, they curled up in so pleasant and manner, crinkling adorably at the corners in something just short of dimples, giving a boyish sweetness to him. He never closed his eyes when he really smiled as many often did, and because of this, Lily could always see the sincerity behind his smile, the honesty.

His hair lacked the body and waviness of James's dark locks, but that didn't mean it wasn't just as soft. Now that he could wash it regularly with the proper products, it hung gently over his face rather than heavy, swaying to and fro as he walked and lifting up with the softest breeze. Lily always enjoyed the scent of his hair when they slept next to one another, his shampoo having been personally selected by her to compliment his nature scent of spice and musk.

Severus didn't have nearly the amount of muscle James had, but he had his own appeal in his lean physique and long limbs. Lily always liked his hands most of all; his long fingers trailing over pages of books and tracing the words carefully, his lips parted slightly as he silently recited instructions to himself. His nails, always surprisingly clean and trimmed, would tap lightly over certain syllables, beating at a tempo as if playing an unheard symphony across a set of piano keys.

There was an unspoken strength and restraint to his hands, how they cradled delicate potion ingredients and carefully dropped them into the cauldron with elegant grace. You could always tell how much a subject meant to him by how reverently he treated it with his hands.

That night in the alcove, Severus's hands had been strong and steadfast on her waist, yet somehow soft, holding her close but with reservation.

He wasn't lacking in other ways either, if a certain lump beneath her revealed as she had sat on his lap.

Lily blushed; she really should stop thinking of her best friend that way. Things had become awkward enough between them without her mucking it up by developing any confusing, overly complicated feelings about him.

"Lily, are you blushing?" whispered Abigail suddenly.

Lily blinked, looking over at her friend. Meldonna and Jess were lost in their own little world, giggling about boys and clothes. Only Abigail seemed to have noticed her straying attention.

"You were looking over at James," Abigail pointed out, her eyes wide.

"What? No I wasn't," Lily denied. True her thoughts had started there, but that's sure not where they ended.

"Shh," Abigail whispered. She risked a glance at their preoccupied friends, "I won't tell. I suppose it's understandable."

"No, you've got it all wrong," Lily insisted.

Abigail winked, "You're secret is safe with me."

Lily groaned. Well, at least Abigail wasn't a gossip.

 

{page break}

 

Over on the other side of the courtyard, James was practically having kittens.

"Did you see how long she looked at me?" he asked, "Sirius your plan is working. It's driving her totally bonkers to see me with Jess."

Sirius grinned, "Told you it would work. It's like they always say; women only know what they want when it's gone. Keep this up and she'll be the one chasing  _you_."

James beamed, "Wouldn't that be something?"

"I'm glad things are working out for you, Prongs," Peter said supportively.

James gave his friend a grateful smile, "Thanks Wormy—ooh, shh! Moony's coming this way."

Remus waved to his friends as he approached, wrapped up in a large woolen scarf a first year Hufflepuff had brought him from an 'anonymous source' (Remus suspected it was a gift from that Nesme girl as a thank you for trying to mend fences with Snape; she was always knitting something). He'd had it for a week now and he had to say it was the softest thing he'd ever worn.

Remus reached his friends and took in their expressions with a raised brow, "Well you all look unusually chipper."

"We're just happy, is all," Sirius said, "James here has set up another date with that girl Jess. She's coming to the Quidditch match to root for him."

James nodded, "She's going bring me luck in the match."

Peter nodded along with his friends.

"Uh-huh," Remus hummed, "You certainly have become awful close with her."

James grinned, "What can I say, I'm smitten."

"He's crazy about her, Moony," Sirius added, "He's been spending practically all his time with her."

"Yes, he has," Remus agreed, "Although, I seem to recall how last week in Charms, you walked by her at the start of class without a glance in her direction."

James blinked, "Huh?"

"And two days ago, you didn't even ask her to sit next to you at lunch as you had every other day," Remus went on, "And the other week in the common room, she was sitting on the couch alone and you ignored her all evening."

"So I don't spend  _every_  waking moment with her," James said with a roll of his eyes, "What's your point, Moony?"

Remus fixed James with a knowing glare, "My point is those were all times Lily wasn't present."

The smile dropped off James's face, "Um…"

"Lily was late for Charms that day," Remus recounted, tacking off his points on his fingers, "She took lunch outside that other day with Mary, and that particular evening in question she was out on Perfect duties around the castle. James, should I be concerned that it seems the only times you give Jess the time of day are when Lily is around to see it?"

"Back off, Moony," Sirius said, coming to his friend's defense, "There's nothing going on here. What's it to you anyways?"

"I'm only making sure you aren't leading this poor girl on." Remus said, "James it wouldn't be fair to her if she's just a part of some ploy to get Lily to notice you."

"That's not what's going on at all," James lied, "I'm honestly trying to get over Lily, just like you suggested. It's just…hard, you know, to let go of old feelings. I may not see anything long term with Jess, but I do think she and I would get on well. I'm looking for other fish in the sea. I'm taking your advice, Moony. Can't you be supportive?"

Remus studied James for a long time, searching his face. When James remained stone-faced Remus sighed.

"Fine," I'll believe you for now, but you better be serious. Last thing we need is you breaking some girl's heart because you were using her to get to her friend. I doubt Lily would appreciate that."

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to  _good_  this time," James promised.

Peter looked at James in shock, "Did you just swear on the map?" he asked, scandalized.

"Yes, because that's how much a mean it," James replied, sending Peter a look.

Discreetly, Sirius elbowed Peter.

"So anyway, Moony, you have nothing to worry about," James assured his studious friend, "You won't need to break up girl fights in the common room, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that, James," Remus warned.

"Great, it's settled," Sirius declared, throwing an arm over Remus's shoulders, "Now that that's out of the way, let's see if we can weasel a snack out of the house elves. I'm thinking cauldron cakes."

As Sirius led the way, Peter hung back to stay in line with James.

"But you  _are_  leading Jessica on, James," he whispered.

James shrugged, "Only a little bit. Besides, it's not like she's in love with me or anything; she just wants to have her thrill dating the popular guy. She'll be looking for a new guy to go after in no time. I just need to hold her attentions long enough for Lily to realize how crazy she is about me. Then Jess can go make googly eyes at someone else."

Peter watched James warily, unconvinced, "Well…if you're sure. I mean, I'd sure hate it if I thought someone liked me and they were just playing."

James patted Peter on the back, "If anyone did that to you, I'd hex them good. This isn't like that, though. Jess isn't that into me; she's into the  _idea_  of me. She'll get over it."

Peter looked down at the ground, unsure, "If you say so…"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to unravel the Baron as been an interesting quest of google searches, folks. According to the wiki, he technically couldn't be an Baron given the era they lived and died in, unless he became one shortly before death, as Barons and other such titles didn't come to the their part of Europe until the end of that century.
> 
> I do find it sort of odd that NONE of the other Hogwarts ghosts know the Grey Lady is Helena or that the Baron was her primary suitor in life. I mean, they all went to Hogwarts close to that century, so surely some of them would recall what Helena looked like from at least a portrait or something. Canon-wise, it makes no sense that none knew who the Grey Lady really was aside from her killer and a few students like Luna. The very idea that the missing daughter of a famed Hogwarts founder would not be recognized or have a single painting lying around depicting her image is improbable if you think about it. So I had to come up with various explanation for why it WOULDN'T be obvious who she was.
> 
> Given that Rowena never told anyone her daughter stole the diadem and any idiot would be able to piece together the time of the diadem going missing with Helena vanishing, it's safe to assume Rowena never mentioned the diadem was missing at all. She probably let others assume she was simply no longer using it as she got older or keeping it safe in her quarters. I imagine no one knew it was missing until after her death when her possessions were sorted through and the diadem was not among them.
> 
> So we have James carrying out his 'master plan' while hoping to stay on Moony's good side. This certainly seems like something he would try in canon, seeing as James was so sure from the start that Lily must like him on some level and was just denying it. He would probably buy into the whole idea that she could be 'coaxed' into acknowledging feelings for him by making her jealous of him giving attention to someone else. And frankly, canon Lily does strike me as someone who might fall for it. As someone whom we hear nothing but praise about, it may be safe to say canon Lily was used to being praised for her talents and abilities, maybe even craved it out of an insecure need to prove herself just as magical and belonging as any pureblood witch. Having James go to such lengths regularly to impress her must have begun to make her feel special on some level, so I could see her feeling the absence when his attentions were gone.
> 
> I hope no one thinks Lily's conflicted feelings for Severus are too sudden. Lily's going through something many kids have gone through. Sometimes we get so close to someone that we just picture them apart of every big moment in our life, that they'll always just be there. We see this as just an awesome friendship, but for some of us, something might tip the scales and remind us "Oh yeah, you're a boy (girl, etc). Suddenly all those jokes people make about how close we are starts to stand out and we end up thinking about how a friendship could potentially cross into something more. You never entertained the thought of them sexually before, but this reminder that they are a person and have wants and desires stirs our own curiosity. Lily's going through that. She's always assumed she would be with Severus in some form. She's just never evaluated that feeling. Now that she has been reminded that he is a hot blooded male, it's hard to think of him as a friend and she ends up thinking about him as a young man. It's causing a lot of confusion for her and she has no idea how to process it.
> 
> Well that's it for now.
> 
> Read and Review!


	42. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily seeks some girl advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> So a big thanks to all my reviewers, especially one guest who gave me a very thorough and informative explanation for how Baron and other such titles worked in the century the Grey Lady lived in. I admit I was slightly lax on my research of that subject, going mostly by what was covered in the Harry Potter wiki. I honestly know very little about how the titles worked back then.
> 
> I will say this, the Baron, in my headcanon and in this story, was not a nobody before being given the title of Baron. He was a well to due man of nobility or whatever worked as a form of nobility at the time. It has always been my canon that the early years of Hogwarts were for the rich, given it was founded by wealthy Lords and Ladies such as the Hogwarts founders. With their fame and notoriety and accomplishments, they were probably very well to do. The initial years of the school would probably require building up a budget to keep it running too, so it was probably very pricey to attend, making it accessible only to those of high status (with muggleborns probably receiving some assistance). Keep in mind that before Hogwarts was founded, people in England and Scotland probably were taught by family how to use magic, with muggleborns not learning and most likely having to go into hiding to avoid being executed by the religious, living unaware of what they were. So like many schools when they first came to be, they would probably be something for the wealthy while the working class was left to learn on their own.
> 
> So the Baron was a wealthy man of status and good standing before he became a Baron. I hope that clears some things up.
> 
> This chapter has some good old fleshing out of characters, namely Marlene.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

"Marlene, can I talk to you for a second?" Lily asked timidly in the common room one afternoon.

Looking up from the book she was currently preoccupied with, Marlene took in Lily's unsure expression.

"Sure, Lils," she said welcomingly, moving her legs from where they draped over the armrest and shifting to make room on the couch for her friend, "What can I do for you?"

Lily sat down uneasily on the edge of the seat, unable to meet her friend's eyes, "Well it's about…this guy…"

"Eeeee!" Marlene squealed, getting the attention of several nearby students and making Lily duck down in embarrassment.

"You've never asked me for boy advice before," Marlene gushed, "This is big, girl, very big. Ooh, I'm so giddy!"

The smiled dropping off her face, Marlene looked at Lily seriously, "Okay, I think that makes up for the tomboyish issue Meldonna's always bitching about. Now that we've got the whole stereotypical garbage out of the way, what's on your mind? Got dirty thoughts about some boy?"

"No!" Lily bawked, falling backwards on the couch.

Marlene looked at her expectantly.

Lily blushed, "I mean…kinda?"

Marlene grinned, "Now we're getting somewhere. So who is it? Someone I know?"

Lily looked away, "I can't just tell you that."

Marlene hummed, "Never mind, I think I've got a good idea who it is anyway," she smirked knowingly at Lily, "Figures he'd win you over after all these years of fawning over you," she muttered out the side of her mouth.

"What was that?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," Marlene dismissed, thinking of a certain sour faced young man, "Let's put who it is to the side for now. Instead, tell me what it is your feeling?"

Lily shifted in discomfort, "I don't know, really. It's all very confusing. I guess I feel…happy when I think of him, but now it makes my stomach tingle too or something. I feel…embarrassed and awkward around him. And I keep thinking about him. Like, more so than usual."

"And what sort of things cross your mind when you think about him," Marlene asked.

Lily fidgeted, "You know…things…"

"Like what?" Marlene prompted.

Lily squirmed in her seat, "Like…how he smells nice…and how nice his eyes are…"

"You think about his body?" Marlene asked bluntly.

"Marlene!" Lily hissed.

Marlene's smile was positively wicked, "You think about his dick?"

Lily clapped her hands over her friend's mouth.

"I can't believe you asked that!" Lily said, scandalized.

Marlene stared calmly at Lily, unphased.

"Well do you?" Marlene asked when Lily pulled her hands away.

"No!" Lily denied hotly, "Not really."

"Lily," Marlene sing songed.

"Okay maybe a little bit," Lily admitted in a rush, "But nothing that lewd. He's just…got nice hands with really long fingers…a-and he's tall…got nice shoulders…"

"But nothing about his dick?" Marlene asked again.

Lily stammered unintelligibly.

Marlene waved her off, "Relax, relax. I'm only teasing. You're too uptight Lily. It's the 70's; be honest with what you want. There's nothing shameful about admiring a man's body."

"But we've known each other for so long," Lily mumbled, "It's makes things so…weird."

Intrigued, Marlene tilted her head, "How so?"

"I'm not supposed to feel attracted to him," Lily explained, "That complicates everything. I'm supposed to just see him as…as…friends don't think about friend's asses!"

Marlene whistled, "Ooh, sounds like he's gotten your blood pumping. What brought this on?"

Lily bit her lip; she knew she couldn't tell Marlene the actual reason. It was still too embarrassing for Lily to even think about, let alone share with anyone else. How do you explain that you might have  _liked_  possibly arousing your lifelong friend? Because that's what it was; Lily could try and deny it all she wanted, but there was something appealing about catching Severus's attention in such a way. Any other boy lusting after her filled Lily with unease lately, but even with such a blunt and noticeable reaction on Sev's part, she didn't fill threatened. In fact, a part of her felt a little…pleased with herself.

Lily twiddled her fingers, "Nothing, really…well something…look, for years I guess I figured he might find something about me attractive; I hear it enough about my looks from plenty of other boys. So I guess it isn't out of the realm of possibility…only now he's started to pull away from me, you know? Suddenly I'm not the center of his world anymore and I'm not sure how to feel about it."

It was certainly disheartening to see how much distance Severus had put between them as of late. She knew he was probably mortified by the incident in the alcove, but surely that wasn't enough to ruin their friendship. Of course, that train of thought just caused Lily more concern; if their friendship could be rattled by a mere embarrassing moment of intimacy, then how would it fair if they ever did become something more than friends and it didn't work out?

"I mean, what if this screws everything up between us?" Lily fretted, "We get along just fine as we are now, or we did before he started distancing himself. What if going further would only ruin it and then we can't go back to how things were before?"

"Slow down, Lily," Marlene soothed, "You're getting ahead of yourself. This is a crush, not full-blown love. Not yet at least. You aren't making plans to run off and marry the guy and have thirteen kids with him or anything. You don't have to jump into anything serious." She scrutinized Lily curiously, "You've had crushes before, right?"

Lily nodded, "Yes. I've had a crush on at least one person before, but it didn't really develop into anything."

Marlene grinned at her, "Was it Longbottom?"

Lily flushed scarlet, "How did you know?"

"Because nearly every girl has been after that man at some point," Marlene laughed, "Myself included. Alice had to beat us off with a stick. There's just something about handsome mama's boys; they make you want to corrupt them."

"You're too much," Lily groaned.

Marlene shrugged, "I'm just being honest."

"So what should I do," Lily asked, "About…my friend?"

Marlene stretched out, popping a few kinks in her back, "Listen, don't overthink things too much. You still aren't sure where you actually stand with your emotions anyway. This could be the beginning of something more or just teenage curiosity."

"So I just do nothing?" Lily worried, not liking the sound of that.

Marlene shook her head, "I'm not saying that. You should just…feel things out for a bit. Take it from me; exploring what you want and what makes you feel good is perfectly fine. Test the waters…but discreetly."

Lily furrowed her brow, "How would I go about doing that?"

"Well first off, let's work on bridging the gap that's arisen between you," Marlene said, "Seek him out, invite him to things, spend time together; just get him to be around you more."

Lily nodded, "Okay, then what?"

"Test the waters, girl," Marlene replied, "Spend time with him just the two of you—as friends—and just see how he makes you feel. Does his laugh make your heart skip a beat? Does brushing your hand against his make you go all warm and fuzzy inside? Does his company make you feel better than with anyone else? You have to start evaluating if it is him you're becoming attracted to, or if you've just started to get curious about his body because he's a guy and you're a girl."

"I guess I could give it a shot," Lily agreed, "I could invite him to go shopping with me for Christmas gifts."

"There you go," Marlene encouraged, "To him, it will just be you two hanging out, so he should be moderately relaxed around you."

Lily smiled, confidence rising in her, "You're right. And it will be good just to spend time with him."

Neither girl noticed the long skinny tail slip under the couch and out of sight.

 

{page break}

 

"She misses me," James crowed victoriously.

Peter had just returned from the common room and found his friends in the kitchens to regale them of his findings over a helping of sweets and hot chocolate.

Peter fiddled with his fingers nervously; not wanting to dash his friend's hopes, "That's not quite right…"

"That's not what Peter said, James," Remus said, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, "He said Lily is noticing the distance of a  _friend_  and she may be attracted to them. That doesn't mean it's you."

Peter nodded gratefully at Remus. Truthfully, Peter had a difficult time listening in under the couch due to how muffled it was down there. However, what he did pick up was so vague and non-specific that the object of Lily's affections could be any boy she spent time with.

The most obvious choice would be Snape, but Peter wasn't about to put that theory out there with James in earshot. Plus, Lily did have a few other male friends, few though they were. That Ravenclaw boy had been spending an awful lot of time with her and Snape lately, and the marauders didn't know who she hung out with every waking moment. There could be other guys she was friends with.

"She never mentioned anyone by name," Peter pointed out, glancing at James worriedly.

"There, you see?" Remus said.

"Think about what she said, Moony," James refuted, "It all adds up: someone who's close to her, she's never liked them that way before, they've started pulling away," he pointed at himself, "What's closer than being in the same freaking house as her? We see each other constantly, share a common room and everything. And for years she's been rejecting me, but now she's coming around. And the now that I'm no longer hounding her, she's noticed and it bothers her. It has to be me!"

"But I don't think she views you as a friend, Prongs," Peter pointed out cautiously, "You're more her classmate than anything…"

' _When you aren't pissing her off,'_  he added to himself.

"Evans is a stubborn one," Sirius pointed out, ignoring Peter, "This is probably all so 'confusing' for her because she just doesn't want to admit she fell for James."

James snapped his fingers, point triumphantly at Sirius, "See?!"

"That doesn't mean it's definitely you," Remus argued, "Besides, it hardly matters now; you've got Jess," he raised an eyebrow at James, "Right?"

James coughed, "Well yeah…I mean, of course it's too late now. So sad, too bad, Evans. She should have noticed me when she had the chance. I'm just saying, it's a crying shame she had to come to this realization now and not back when I was interested in her."

Remus eyed James skeptically, "Right…"

"Don't worry, Moony," James assured, "I'll be a gentleman about this, let her down gently. Not her fault she fell for my charms a year too late."

"I hope you're being sincere about all this, James," Remus warned, "I don't want any more drama caused by us. We're too old for such nonsense and playing with girls' affections is low."

"I already told you that I'm one hundred percent genuine on this," James promised, "While I'm flattered, I've already moved on. Plus, Lily isn't even sure of her feelings by the sounds of it. Why dump a girl who's crazy about me, only to risk going back to pursuing Evans and her losing interest? I'll stick with what I have, thank you."

Peter resisted snorting,  _'More like you'll bide your time until you know for sure Evans likes you,_ then _ditch Jess.'_ James wouldn't risk giving up the adoration and attention of Jess until he knew Evans definitely wanted him. Until then, he'd probably enjoy the high of having someone shower him with praise and compliments, waving it all under Lily's nose until she was positively green with envy.

Remus took a bite of his cauldron cake, watching James through narrowed eyes.

"I must say, that's awfully mature of you, James," he remarked, "I just hope you mean it."

 

{page break}

 

The weeks went by and the days became progressively chillier atop the rolling hills where Hogwarts rested. The light flurries of late November gave way to heavy snowfall that decorated the early December landscape in a blanket of white, the chill adding a flush to everyone's cheeks and a bitter red to the tip of nearly every nose.

Fall well and truly behind them, students bundled up in their warmest coats and mittens in order to venture out every weekend in search of gifts for loved ones from the stores at Hogsmeade. The rise in visitors every winter meant the little village profited quite well and many stores raised their prices and promoted 'sales' of their goods in bulk bundles in order to make a tidy sum off excitable young costumers.

Some could call it swindling, but the shop keeps called it good business.

The approaching weekend put many students in a good mood that morning in the Great Hall, with girls pouring over  _Witch Weekly_  for tips on the 'perfect gift' and boys anticipating letters from mother's and sisters at home carrying advice on what to buy their someone special.

The most self-centered and stuffy of purebloods engaged in no such frivolities, confident their house elves at home would complete the shopping for them without any input on their part, so long as the items were extravagant and demonstrated their vast wealth.

Severus normally would be ruminating on the ideal present for Lily as he had every year—thought previous years did not grant him the allowance the Evans family had sent him for spending money this year. He should be enjoying the freedom the money in his pocket gave him to find Lily something truly deserving of her instead of the usual cheap trinket he scraped and saved every cent for the previous years.

However, currently occupying Severus's thoughts was the rather garishly decorated red and green envelope in his hands.

Earlier that day, as Severus finished a decent lunch of cabbage and beef, Slughorn descended upon him in his usual dramatically joyful fashion. Presenting him with the gold trimmed and tinsel tasseled invite, Slughorn announced his annual Winter Gala set for the second to last night before winter holidays.

Severus had only taken the envelope so end their conversation sooner, but Slughorn only rambled on oblivious to his students reluctance to participate, raving about the décor and catering he planned for the festive event.

It had been Severus's impression that the champagne filled party was normally reserved for Seventh Years and Slughorn's compatriots who were of age, but Slughorn apparently deigned it of great importance that he invite Severus personally.

After a reminder to dress his best and a good natured wink that only served to irritate Severus, Slughorn moved on down the table to discuss timetable changes with his fifth year Slytherins.

And so, Severus found himself in possession of a rather unwanted invitation to an event he would rather swallow skel-grow than attend.

His contemplations on whether it was possible to make the letter burst into flames from sheer will alone were interrupted by a voice pleasant to hear, but that sent Severus's pulse racing.

"Um…hi Sev."

Severus jumped, surprised at how close Lily got to him without him even noticing her presence. She stood only mere inches away from him, an awkward half smile on her face.

"Sorry," she apologized kindly, "I tried to get your attention before, but you seemed to be lost in your own thoughts."

"It's fine," Severus assured her, "Just…musing on some subjects."

Lily looked down at the envelope in Severus's hands, "I see you got in invite from Slughorn as well," she pulled out one of her own, "Me too."

Severus would like to say he wasn't surprised that someone as bright as Lily received an invitation, but it honestly caught him off guard to know she would be there as well. He'd been too busy commiserating how much he'd despise being there that he forgot to factor in that there may be others there whom he was struggling to stay collected around lately; namely Lily, "So it would seem."

"Are you going to go?" Lily asked hesitantly.

Severus frowned down at the invite in his hands, "I'm honestly not sure. Seems like another golden opportunity for Slughorn to tote us as trophies to all his friends."

"Because, I was thinking we could go together," Lily pushed on as if she hadn't heard, "As friends. I mean, I know these events aren't your sort of thing, but we did have some fun last time and…it could be nice…"

Severus's mind was still stuck on Lily suggesting they go together.

' _As friends, you idiot,'_  he reprimanded himself,  _'She said as friends.'_

"So what do you say?" Lily prompted nervously when Severus didn't respond right away.

"I suppose some enjoyment could be had in such an event," Severus began tentatively.

Lily began to smile in relief.

"But," Severus went on, and he hated to wipe that smile from her face, "It  _is_  a formal event, Lily. I don't exactly have access to the finest dress robes."

"We could go shopping," Lily suggested, "My parents could—"

"Absolutely not," Severus said firmly, "Those things are hideously expensive and your parents have already been forced to tighten their purse strings by taking me in."

"I doubt they would mind," Lily persuaded.

Severus raised his hand to quiet her, "Christmas is already a costly time of year, Lily. I do not feel comfortable putting them out like that, especially when they already have a family to provide for."

"You're part of that family, though," Lily argued weakly.

Warmth spread in Severus's chest at those words, but he refused to budge, "My mind is made up. I will not ask them to spend money on something I'd only wear once. Besides, this event is just another excuse for Slughorn to ride our coattails since we made front page in the paper this summer. He's just hoping to expand his own notoriety and privileges. If we make something of ourselves after graduation, he's set to gain quite a bit of glory for teaching us."

Lily looked as if she wished to argue further, but opted to keep her mouth shut. All in all, she looked like she was seriously considering the merit to Severus's words.

"That doesn't mean it couldn't be fun. But I suppose you're right. I imagine the ministry is still trying to show itself as pro-muggle to make up for our attack by a Death Eater in training," Lily remarked, referring to Avery and his lot, "These events are usually just attended by purebloods, right?"

"Yes, and it shall continue to be so," Severus said, dangling his invite over a trash bin, "I'll not be going."

Before Severus could dispose of the invite, a dove swooped in through one of the hallway windows. Swinging a wide circle in the air, it hooked back around and dropped a letter onto Severus's head. It then took up residence on a nearby windowsill, cleaning its feathers.

"Great, now what?" Severus asked, plucking the letter from atop his head.

"It's from Simone," Lily said, flipping the letter over to examine the seal.

Severus sighed, "I'm sure I know what she's writing about."

Opening the letter, Severus scanned the contents:

 

_Severus,_

_I know you've probably already seen the invite to this year's gala. Slughorn 'might' have had some persuasion from me to get you and Evan's an invite._

_You have probably also, no doubt, refused to come._

_Therefore, I have taken a few measures to ensure your attendance._

_By opening this letter, you're hereby magically bound to attend the gala._

_You're dress robes and Lily's gown will arrive by the end of the week. No need to thank me; the pleasure was all mine._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Simone_

_P.S. opening a letter without checking it for curses or enchantments first? You're slipping, Severus._

 

Severus growled, crumpling the letter in his fists, "Nothing good ever comes from associating with her."

"What did it say?" Lily asked curiously.

Without a word, Severus thrust the wrinkled letter into Lily's hands.

Lily scanned the letter, "…oh…"

"She had no right," Severus ranted, pacing the floor, "Whether I attend or not, it should be my choice, not hers."

"There's something extra at the bottom here," Lily pointed out.

Severus leaned over Lily's shoulder to read it:

 

_Severus,_

_I'm terribly sorry for Simone's enchantment. I tried to talk her out of it._

_~Thea_

 

"Well at least one of them feels bad about it," Severus grumbled.

"You have to hand it to Simone for one thing," Lily stated, "She's nothing if not determined when she sets her mind on something."

Severus stomped out onto the castle grounds, the wind whipping at his face, "If she thinks she can tell me what to do, she has another thing coming."

Lily hurried after him, pulling her cloak tighter around herself from the cold, "But what about the enchantment?"

"She can't get away with anything serious," Severus said dismissively, "At worst I'll be chased around by a boot kicking hex or have my face dyed polka dot for a week. Nothing I can't handle."

"Sev, just go to the gala with me," Lily pleaded, grabbing hold of Severus's arm to slow him down, "Simone took care of the dress robe problem and I'm sure it wasn't cheap."

"That was her decision," Severus grumbled moodily.

"But it was still a nice gesture," Lily argued, holding Severus by the hand, "Please, Sev? It would mean a lot to me. We haven't really hung out much lately. I miss our time together." She looked down at Severus's hand still in her grasp, stroking her thumbs across his knuckles, "Please?"

Severus relished the warmth of Lily's hand, the tickle of her fingers gliding along his clammy skin. Meeting Lily's eyes, he took in the pleading, hopeful gleam swimming in amongst the green of her irises.

"If I say yes, will you stop looking like someone just hexed your puppy?" he asked after a long moment of deliberation.

A smile split Lily's face, the relief evident. She threw her arms around Severus's neck with a whoop of joy.

"Thank you!" she gushed, "You won't regret it, Sev. I promise we'll have a fantastic time."

Severus said nothing, his brain doing a tailspin. Lily's messy, windswept hair blew up into Severus's face and tickled his nose. She was practically plastered to Severus, her breasts pressed up against his chest with a prominent weight.

Catching herself, Lily hastily pulled away and took a step back, red tinting her cheeks.

"So um…" Lily began, feigning casual, "Want to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? We both still need to do our Christmas shopping, so…"

"Right," Severus said, clearing his throat, "We might as well go together. We could grab lunch…perhaps?"

Lily nodded, smiling, "That would be great."

Severus allowed a small smile to grace his face.

Lily shifted bashfully, looking around them, "I've got to get to class now. This actually isn't the way to mine," she noted, looking around the school grounds in embarrassment.

Severus laughed nervously, "Yeah…I've got Herbology so…" he jerked his thumb at the greenhouse in the distance.

Lily giggled, "So…I'll see you bright and early for Hogsmeade?"

Severus nodded eagerly, "Yeah, of course. We'll uh…see each other before then, you know? Study group?"

"Right," Lily laughed self-consciously, "Right…well see you tonight then, I guess."

With another awkward laugh, the two departed to their next classes, each one with only one question on their minds.

' _Did that really just happen?'_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marlene is what I imagine a girl embracing her sexual autonomy would be like in the 70's. She's not ashamed to have had sexual relationships, seeing them as another aspect of building trust and intimacy with someone. It doesn't make her a whore or whatever other title someone might claim. She doesn't use anyone and lets others know what the state of their relationship is going to be before proceeding forward. She just acknowledges openly and proudly that she has needs just as men do, and that all women have them, and that it should be acceptable to experiment and explore to better know one's own wants and desires.
> 
> Marlene is also a giant troll to her friends.
> 
> So James may be seeing things through tunnel vision. He's got his eyes set so firmly on the prize, that he is blinded to the possibility of it going wrong. He is determined to believe Lily holds feelings for him, so when hearing she has feelings for someone , he is sure it must be him she speaks of, not even willing to entertain the thought that it could be someone else. He's all but unable to even consider Severus competition due to how strong a contrast he sees between them. They're night and day in his eyes, so if James sees himself as perfect for Lily, then Severus must surely be the exact opposite.
> 
> Read and review folks!


	43. It's a Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus has a maybe...sort of...date with Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, huzzah!
> 
> Thanks again for the awesome reviews. 
> 
> About the way the girls were talking in the previous chapter. I'm sure some of you noticed that they weren't talking very...British 70s. I'll be honest, I have no idea how people talked in the Seventies short of movies and even less about how it differed in England. So you'll have to bare with me for the creative license I am talking here in having the girls talk more modern. Think of it like how if I wrote a fantasy medieval story, I wouldn't write it all in the "thy, thou, and hear ye, hear ye" sort of way because it would probably require a ton of explanation for out of date idioms and what they mean (If anyone recalls reading Romeo and Juliet and having to look in the margins for the translation to statements like "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?", then you can understand how tedious it gets for a reader to constantly go "What the fuck does that even mean?!"
> 
> Anyway, let's move on to the big day. The "is it? is it not?" date!

* * *

"Don't you look handsome today," Simone observed as she waltzed into the boys dorm.

"Don't you ever knock?" Severus asked snidely as he pulled an emerald sweater over his head.

"If I did, you wouldn't let me in," Simone pointed out.

A boy coming out of the bathroom yelped when he saw Simone, clutching tightly to the bath towel wrapped around his waist.

Simone rolled her eyes, "Don't flatter yourself; you've got nothing worth seeing."

The boy flushed angrily, darting back into the bathroom with a rueful glare.

"So anyway," Simone said, once she and Severus were alone again, "Your hair is clean, it's combed, you're wearing your best sweater," she leaned forward, sniffing slightly, "Is that cologne I detect?"

Severus stepped back with a sneer, "I'd prefer you respect my personal space."

Simone ignored him. She grinned broadly, "Are you seeing someone today?"

Severus turned away, picking his cloak up off the bed, "I don't know what conclusions you're drawing. I'm only going to Hogsmeade to do some gift shopping."

"And you're going with..." Simone asked expectantly, her grin growing ever wider.

Severus sighed, "...A friend..."

"It's Evans!" Simone cried, cackling madly. She looked excitedly at Severus, "It is isn't it? You sly dog, I knew you had it in you!"

"It's not a date," Severus said hastily, "I didn't even ask her. She invited me."

Simone gasped, "Even better. You Casanova, you! She's sought you at."

"As friends," Severus elaborated, "She said she wanted to spend time together as  _friends_."

Simone waved him off, "That's just what she wants you to think."

"Someone how I doubt she's hiding ulterior motives for this invite," Severus drawled with a roll of his eyes.

Simone crossed her arms over her chest, "Why is it so hard for you to believe someone might actually fancy you?"

Severus snorted, "If you're implying I lack self-esteem, you're mistaken. I have no doubt there are probably some witches out there who have their eye on me. No one is completely undesirable. However, they're more of what you'd call…my level of attractiveness. Bland, dull eyed, never one to stand out. The reason they set their sights on me is because I look like an easy catch due to my own unpopularity and poor luck with love. Unfortunately for them, I have standards, such as brains, and talent." He adjusted his cloak in the mirror while adding under his breath, "Unfortunately my standards just happen to be out of my league."

"So you assume," Simone interjected, "That doesn't mean you're right. Has it ever occurred to you that Evans might like the tall, dark, and mysterious type? I mean, you tendency to avoid a scene must be rather relaxing to her compared to Potter's embarrassing ploys for attention from everyone and anyone around him. I imagine she would be more incline to want someone who can enjoy the quiet and simplicity rather than the over the top and extravagant."

"Plus, she's known you for years," Simone added, "You're someone she trusts and enjoys the company of. It isn't that far a stretch for her to start liking you on more romantic levels."

"Don't you have first years to scare?" Severus asked, changing the subject.

Simone shrugged, "I did that before breakfast. I actually stopped by to see if you wanted to hang out, but now I see you have prior arrangements," she waggled her eyebrows.

Severus ignored that comment, "Don't you usually spend time with Thea?"

Simone looked away, a frown on her face, "We had a little tiff, unfortunately. I thought she'd spend the majority of winter break at my home like usual, but apparently her parents have some big dinner planned for the week of New Years and expect her home all week in preparation for it. I told her she could tell her ruddy folks to stuff it; she didn't appreciate my candor."

"You two don't speak of her parents often," Severus noted, "Are they not the pleasant sort."

Simone huffed, "Let's just say they're not the warmest bunch. Anyway," she said pushing off from the wall and heading for the door, "I suppose I better apologize at some point. In the meantime, have fun with your date."

"It's not a date," Severus called back to her.

Simone just waved over her shoulder at him as she disappeared down the stairs to the common room.

 

{page break}

 

"What do you think of this for Tuney?" Lily asked, turning to show Severus her find.

It was about an hour into their outing and Severus and Lily had spent much of their time meandering from one shop to another brainstorming about gifts to give Lily's family.

In previous years, Severus couldn't say he ever really celebrated the holidays aside from the customary exchanging of gifts with Lily—with Lily's presents for him outnumbering the one for her thanks to what Lily's mother snuck into the mix like sweaters and sweets. Severus stopped expecting a present from either of his parents long ago, his mother lacking much of the funds for it and his father lacking the desire to be thoughtful in the first place. Seeing how uncomfortable his mother felt when he managed to get her something—mirroring Severus' own discomfort at the Evans's generosity when he had nothing to give in return—Severus eventually stopped gifting his mother anything. Occasionally he managed to give her a least the gift of stress free evening by cleaning the kitchen and preparing a simple meal, but that was it.

Now Severus lived in a much different scenario. Essentially adopted by Lily's parents Severus received a modest allowance same as Lily, oftentimes based upon how well they did in school and any extra credit they earned, making up for the fact that they could not do chores around the house for an allowance while away at school.

This left Severus with a decent enough amount of cash to work with for the holidays, ensuring he could at least find something for his new family and give Lily a gift he could be proud to give her. As for Severus's own mother, he hadn't heard much from her since their meeting at Kings Cross, and Severus honestly had no idea where she was living these days or what she was up to, making sending a gift to her a tricky task.

"Sev?" Lily called, bringing Severus back to the present, "What do you think?"

In Lily's hands rested a portrait of a meadow. Covered in wildflowers and cast in a purple glow, the sunlight streamed down through the trees to splay across the back of a grazing unicorn, her foal tucked under her suckling. Every now and then, a butterfly would fluttered through the scene and the wind would lightly rustle the flower petals as the unicorn flicked its ear and swished its tail. The picture was incased in a bronze frame.

"It's fitting I suppose, "Severus mused, "Simone did say Petunia had become quite smitten with the creatures after seeing one in person."

"It comes in cheaper frames," Lily explained, looking over the picture fondly, "And she could hide it when he friends came over. As it is, everything moves so little in it, I doubt her friends would noticed unless they stared at it."

"They might just think it was some new kind of foreign electronic," Severus pointed out, "Plenty of muggles rationalize away what they do not understand, even if the explanation makes even less sense."

"I guess someone would sooner think it was something electric than magical," Lily agreed, "So, should I buy it?"

"Did you even check the price yet?" Severus asked.

"Oh right," Lily turned the portrait over, examining the price tag. Her smile fell, "Oh…"

Severus leaned over her, "Is it expensive?"

"It's just a tad out of my budget," Lily confessed, "If I get it, I won't have an even amount left to buy both mum and dad something." She worried her lip between her teeth, "I've already grabbed some small things for our friends, so I don't have to worry about that, but…oh, do you think my parents would mind a joint gift?"

"How about we split the price," Severus offered, examining his own money, "It's not like I can think of a suitable gift for Petunia on my own anyway. We could just say it's from both of us."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, "Wouldn't Petunia get less gifts than us if we just give her one? I'm sure she's getting something for each of us."

"If she's wise, she won't bother getting me something," Severus quipped, "she doesn't have to give me a gift to make me feel part of the family. Her and I not snarling at each other is more than enough of a gift."

"Still…" Lily looking longingly down at the painting, torn between getting her sister the perfect gift or something more affordable.

"If you want, we can work on a brew together to give her as well," Severus suggested, "I'm sure she'd enjoy that potion that makes ones skin practically glow. She'd be the envy of her friends back home."

"That could work," Lily agreed, perking up a little, "You're sure you don't mind?"

"I insist," Severus replied, handing Lily a portion of his allowance, "Ask them for a wooden frame; they're cheaper but durable."

"And they'll gift wrap it for free," Lily said excitedly, "Thank you, Sev!" She wrapped her arms around Severus's neck in a brief, but fierce hug before skipping off to the counter.

"You certainly made her happy," drawled a voice from behind Severus.

"Regulus," Severus sneered at the younger Black heir lingering by one of the displays, "What do you want?"

Regulus raised his hands in surrender, "I'm not here to cause trouble, so rest easy. I'm just finishing up my shopping."

"I thought your family let the house elves taken care of the holidays prep," Severus said.

"Not that it is any of your business, but it happens to be  _for_  a house elf," Regulus said sardonically, "As you know, gifting an elf with clothes frees them. Seeing as Kreacher would probably throw himself from the tallest window in grief were I to give him even a scarf, I thought he might like something for his sleeping area," Reg looked away awkwardly, "There's a family picture that he's always hidden under his blanket. It could use a frame so it doesn't get further damaged; I just thought I'd pick out a nice one."

"Are you sure he will accept any gift from his masters?" Severus questioned, "He might think he isn't deserving of it."

"If it's from me, he'll take it," Reg said confidently, "if it was something from Sirius, probably not, not that my thickheaded brother is capable of showing consideration to the help."

"I doubt your mother will think highly of you giving presents to a lowly house elf," Severus said sarcastically.

Regulus closed his eyes, "I respect my mother, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with all her opinions."

"Meaning you're not going to tell her and just sit in silence pretending while she goes on treating her servants like inferior creatures," Severus sneered, "While you give Kreacher a gift in secret. What lukewarm sentiments."

Regulus scowled, "It's easy to judge someone when you haven't lived their life, Snape," he growled, "You don't know what my mother is like."

"Yes, but I know what my father is capable of," Severus said lowly. He pulled the neck of his sweater down slightly to show the crescent shaped scars embedded in his neck around the scar from the train, the lasting imprint of his father's nails digging into his skin as the drunkard's hands wrapped around his throat.

Regulus paled, taking in the sight of the awful marring as well as some lingering welts peeking up over Severus's shoulder.

"Considering how eager you are to stay on mummy's good side I doubt you've truly been on the receiving end of a parent's cruelty," Severus stated, "Unlike you're brother who's actually had the guts to stand up to them, loath as I am to give him credit for anything," Severus grimaced,  _"Loathed."_

"The difference between you and I, Black," Severus continued, "Is that while you wallow in self-denial and complacency, I fought back." He bore down on Regulus, his voice an icy hiss, "I saw something wrong and I did something about it. I got out, and even if it meant having to leave in pieces, at least I stood up for myself instead of letting myself be controlled. I'd sooner bite off my own tongue than allow myself to be groomed into the monster my father was. Meanwhile you're content to follow your bloody family to war and ruin for ideals you clearly don't even believe in."

"You don't know a damn thing about what I believe in," Regulus whispered back sharply, "I may care about Kreacher, but don't think that changes a thing when it comes to mudbloods and muggles."

"I'd watch my tongue if I were you," Severus warned dangerously.

Regulus's eyes darted to Severus's side, keeping an eye out for his wand.

"You've all but proven my beliefs right, Snape," Regulus hissed, "Your own father did that to you. A  _muggle_."

"Perhaps," Severus conceded, stepping back. Holding his head high, he looked down his nose at Regulus, "But it was also a muggle who saved me from him. Two of them, in fact."

Severus and Regulus stared each other down in silence, neither one blinking.

"Sorry it took so long," Lily apologized, hurrying over with her package in her arms, "The line was enormous—oh…hello, Black." Lily eyed Regulus warily.

"Evans," Regulus said curtly.

Lily looked back and forth between the pair, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Severus answered, "Everything's fine. In fact, Regulus was just wishing us Happy Christmas," he narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Weren't you, Reg."

Regulus eyed Severus, his lip curling.

"Yes," he said after a moment, "Happy Christmas." Without another word, he pushed pass Severus and weaved his way further into the shop.

Lily watched the boy go with concern, "Did he say anything to you?" she asked worriedly.

"Probably less than he wanted to say," Severus stated cryptically, "But I wouldn't let it bother you. He's just being a prat. It runs in the family; I hear."

The corner of Lily's mouth twitched, "I might have heard something similar."

"Like I said," don't let it worry you," Severus repeated, "Now where would you like to go next? I believe we haven't shopped for your parents yet."

Severus gently led Lily away, ponderings about what her folks would like leaving their concerns over Regulus forgotten.

 

{page break}

 

When they finally stopped for dinner, the pair made their way over to the Three Broomsticks' crowded venue, pushing their way through the noisy patrons of students and staff alike to lay claim on a booth in the far back corner. Laden with bags and their faces stung pink by the frosty air, it was a relief to relax before a crackling fire.

"Finally a place to sit down," Lily sighed with relief, dropping into a chair, "I thought my arms were about to fall off."

"I told you to just shrink the bags," Severus reminded her, "Then you'd have less weight to carry."

"That's not the same," Lily whined, "Christmas is about bustling about with your laden with gifts for the people you care about; like a labor of love. Like in that song,  _'As the shoppers rush home with their treasures.'_  That's just how it works."

"I think it's the thought that counts, not breaking your back lugging it all home," Severus pointed out with a wry grin.

Lily huffed, "You do things your way and I'll do them mine."

"Fine," Severus relented, "But remember, we still have to walk back to the school with all this."

Lily groaned pitifully.

"What would you like to eat?" Severus asked with a smile.

Lily shrugged, squinting at the specials board, "I think I'll have the Colcannon. I love buttered cabbage. How about you?"

"The bacon joint sounds particularly appealing," Severus said, "I guess Eugene is cooking tonight; the spreads rather Irish this time around."

"That's right, the new assistant isn't from around here," Lily commented, "Is that why he keeps trying to sell Guinness when he comes to the bar."

"Whether muggle or magic, Guinness is a go to if you're Irish," Severus mused with amusement, "Too bad his customers prefer Firewhiskey."

Lily hummed in agreement, "He better not let Rosemerta catch him selling to minors again. She'll have his hide if he gets the place closed down right after she took over."

Lily rested her head in her hands, staring at Severus contently, "So, think you've got your shopping all squared away?"

Severus nodded, "For the most part. I don't think most of our friends will mind receiving candy or trinkets for the holidays, and I'm relatively pleased with the stationary set I got your father."

"And mom will love the new gloves;" Lily said approvingly, "The embroidery you picked will be right up her alley."

"Are you satisfied with your purchases?" Severus inquired.

Lily nodded happily, "Yes. Mom will love the shawl and I bet dad will get a kick out that refilling coffee mug."

"Make sure to tell him he'll need to be near a kitchen in order for it to magic the coffee from the pot,' Severus reminded her.

"Right," Lily said, "Soooo, what did you get me?"

Severus quirked a brow, "Funny, I thought the point of a Christmas present was that you don't know what it is until you get it on Christmas."

Lily pouted, "Oh come on. At least give me a hint."

"You want a hint?" Severus asked, "Here's your hint: you'll probably love it."

"That's not a hint!" Lily insisted petulantly, "Please, Sev."

Severus leaned back in his chair, "You'll just have to wait until Christmas."

Lily huffed, slumping over the table, her bottom lip sticking out, "You're no fun."

"As if you would have spilled what you got me," Severus quipped.

"That's different!" Lily insisted, "You don't care if you don't know what it is."

"Indeed I don't," Severus agreed, "I suppose I should be grateful we stay in separate dorms. Otherwise I would have to worry you'd go snooping for your gift."

Lily looked away, pout still in place, "I wouldn't do that."

"Petunia tells me otherwise," Severus replied.

Lily groaned, "That blabber mouth. I only snooped once."

"Once is enough," Severus said.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Let's just enjoy our day."

Severus smirked, "I was thoroughly enjoying our disagreement, but if you insist."

Lily stuck her tongue out at him, "Brat."

"Pot calling kettle," Severus shot back.

Lily laughed, warm and full of mirth. It filled Severus with a sense of accomplishment; he always enjoyed being the one to make Lily happy.

As a smile slowly spread over Severus's face, Lily was feeling her own sense of contentment.

"You know, Sev," she began hesitantly, "I'm really glad you agreed to come with me today."

"Oh?" Severus inquired.

Lily nodded, "Yeah," she fiddled with the hem of her blouse, "We haven't spent much time together lately and I was starting to miss it. It's been ages since we've hung out…just the two of us."

"…I see," Severus said for lack of something better to say. Inside, his mind was a mess, his heart speeding up as Lily reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Simone words from earlier came back to him then, making him suddenly feel very self-conscious.

"We've been through practically everything together Sev," Lily continued, "When you aren't around, I honestly miss you. It feels so weird to not be able to turn around and see you there. Then all the time we spent together this summer…it feels so different now to be apart for even a few days."

"I know what you mean," Severus blurted out.

Lily looked up hopefully, "You do?"

Severus gulped, nodded eagerly, "I'm so used to us being around one another, being back in school where things are separated by houses…it drives me made that we can't just spend time together like we used to."

Severus squeezed Lily's hand, "I miss being able to go for walks with you whenever we felt like it, and talking for hours without having to be anywhere important. I like our friends and I guess I'm glad I have so many now, but I miss the times it was…you know…just us."

"I do too," Lily said, a smiled spreading across her face, "Don't get me wrong, I love our other friends. Mary, Nesme, they're all so important to me. But I think you mean the most to me, Sev. When I'm happy or sad, when something amazing has happen and I just need to share it with someone, o-or if I'm so mad I could scream and I need some support…you're the first person I think of; you're the one who always comes to mind."

She stared into Severus's eyes with open-faced sincerity. Dressed in a jade green blouse fitted black pants, snow still melting from her hair and clothes, she looked like a vision sitting there, back lit by the fireplace giving her hair an ethereal, firey glow.

' _Kiss her,'_  urged a voice in Severus head, one that sounded eerily like Simone,  _'Ask her out at least. Don't let this chance slip away!'_

"Lily?" Severus ventured.

"Yes, Sev?" Lily said expectantly.

Severus fumbled for the right thing to say, "Would you…I mean, do you want…That's is to say, have you ever considered…would you be obliged to—"

A playful tussle at a neighboring table got out of hand, sending a seventh year boy into Severus's back, nearly knocking him off his chair and making their whole table scoot a few inches.

"Sorry," the seventh year wheezed between laughter, "Didn't see you two there."

"It's fine, Lily said quickly, blushing from head to toe. She tucked her hands into her lap, staring down at the table in embarrassment.

' _Get a hold of yourself,'_  she chided,  _'it's not like you were doing anything indecent.'_

The seventh year returned to his seat, smacking one of his snickering friends over the back of the head with a chuckle of his own, "Bloody hooligans!"

"Glad we're in agreement on something," Severus muttered under his breath, righting himself.

He and Lily stared at the table in uncomfortably silence, neither knowing what to say.

"So…" Severus started, the moment lost.

"So…" Lily echoed, "I'm…just going to place our order at the counter."

Lily stood up quickly, her chair awkwardly scraping along the floor as she went.

Reaching the counter, Lily placed their order. Too nervous to go back to the table just yet, she stood at the counter waiting for their food to be ready.

 _'I guess so far so good,'_ she thought uncertainly. True, things could have been smoother, but at least she hadn't made a fool of herself. Severus seemed just as unbalanced as her, which was surprisingly comforting. At least she knew she wasn't the only one unsure where they stood.

Sticking to Marlene's advice, Lily had played it safe and kept what she had to say about her feelings vague and open to interpretation. She didn't want to just blurt out that she might want more from Severus than friendship when she didn't yet know how he felt.

Lily smiled inwardly; hearing Severus say he missed their time alone made her heart beat a little bit faster.

But where to go from here? Biting her lip, Lily lingered by the bar, stalling for time before she'd have to return to the table and make her next move.

Feeling entirely out of place among the older men and women at the bar ordering firewhiskey and other liquors , her eyes scanned the room looking for something to occupy her time when she spotted a familiar face coming her way.

"Alright there, Evans?" James asked, swaggering up besides her. There was a dusting of snow across his shoulders, his hair more wind swept than usual.

"Hi James," Lily greeted politely, seeing no point in being rude when he ad yet to do anything wrong for the day, "You here with your friends?"

"Sort of," James replied, "The guys and I split up so we could have some time to ourselves," he jerked is thumb over to a table by the window.

Following James's direction, Lily spied Jess and Meldonna sitting together, heads bent close whispering excitedly to one another.

Jess was wearing considerably more make-up than what was normal for her, her usual tans and 'natural' hues being replaced by a subtle pastel purple over her eyes complimenting the blue in them. Her lips were lacquered in a bright bubblegum pink. She was wearing her best long sleeved dress, a pair of high leather boots on her feet. It was impossible to tell if the pink to her cheeks was make-up or from the sheer joy she was feeling as she giggled with Meldonna.

Sitting next to them at their table was some tall boy in a Gryffindor scarf, staring disinterestedly out the window, obviously Meldonna's neglected date for the day.

"How're things going with you two?" Lily asked, giving her friends a little smile when they waved at her before returning to their conversation.

James ran a hand through his hair, "Pretty good, pretty good. Great even. She really, you know...gets me," he smiled at Lily, "We have so much in common."

"Glad to hear it," Lily said.

"Yeah, we both love quidditch...she thinks I'm incredibly talented," James went on, "Really, it's been a dream."

Lily nodded politely, feeling a little weird listening to James brag about his date, "So who's Meldonna date?"

"One of the Prewett twins, Fabian," James said. He squinted at the boy, "Or maybe's its Gideon. They keep switching names on everyone. I suggested Meldonna ask one of them out. She looked really glum to have no one to go with so I thought I'd offer a double date, nice guy that I am."

Lily resisted rolling her eyes. Bragging aside it  _was_  nice of James to included Mel, "Well whichever twin it is, he doesn't seem to be enjoying himself."

James grinned, "He's miffed we haven't been to Zonko's yet. It isn't really Jess's thing so we've been going to places that interest her. He's just mad he can't get more dungbombs to set off in Filch's office."

Lily smirked, "Sounds more like your specialty."

James shook his head smirking, "Nah, too amateur. If it were me, I'd hide them in that wanker's underwear drawer," he winked at Lily, making her laugh.

"That would certainly be worse," Lily agreed.

"So what brings you here?" James asked.

Lily shrugged, "Just finishing up my Christmas shopping with Sev."

"Oh," James nodded and was it Lily's imagination, or did his smile slip just a little? "That's nice. You two having fun? Somehow I don't see him as the sociable shopping type."

"Well he isn't with other people," Lily admitted, "But he's always been more open and easy going around me." Lily let a shy smile slip onto her face, a blush rising to her cheeks; she got to see more of the real Severus than anyone else.

 

{page break}

 

Across the room, Severus had been scowling since Potter walked in.

It would be just his luck that the second he missed an opportunity with Lily, Potter would appear to steal her attention from him. Of course he understood that Lily was probably feeling a little awkward and confused about their near-kiss—if she even realized that what he had been intending—but he couldn't help but worry he'd botched everything up when she chose not to return to their table straight away. Seeing her strike up a conversation with Potter just made things worse.

With a sigh, Severus picked up one of his shopping bags, shifting through his purchases. Finding what he was looking for, he held the item carefully in his hands.

He'd found it in a less frequented jewelry shop at the edge of the village. He and Lily were wandering the streets on their way to pick out a gift for her father when he saw it in the window; a blown glass orb hanging from a simple chain. But it wasn't the orb that caught his attention, but rather the image meticulously etched inside it's center; a single doe in a snowy forest. The outside of the glass had white speckles dotting its surface; like snowfall.

Severus didn't know why he was so drawn to the necklace, but he was. Something about it just seemed...perfect. He knew he had to buy it for Lily. So, when Lily was distracted chatting with Professor Flitwick as he made his rounds through the village, Severus ducked into the little store. He'd been so proud walking out of the shop with the small, gift wrapped box hidden safely in one of his shopping bags.

Now, however, the trinket seemed tiny and insignificant. Surely someone like Potter could afford any extravagant gift Lily desired. A glass bauble couldn't hold a candle to the sorts of golden chains and expensive jewels Potter could buy.

Lily laughed at something Potter said and Severus felt his fingers digging into his palm painfully. She seemed so relax, so carefree with that git; so at ease with his presence. Severus sort of wished Lupin hadn't ordered his fellow Marauders to back off so that he'd get bullied openly again and Lily could have something to despise about Potter like she used to. It would seem Potter's feigned maturity had Lily willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Potter said something to Lily and she looked down, smiling shyly. Severus scowled heavily, watching the faint blush spread out over Lily's face.

While Lily wasn't looking, Potter turned Severus's way and catch his eye. Seeing Severus looking at him, Potter smirked cockily, leaning closer to Lily. It made Severus want to hex him on the spot.

Lily and Potter exchanged a few more words before hers and Severus's orders were ready. Waving at Potter, Lily grabbed the two baskets of food and headed over to Severus, but before he could say a word to her, she darted back to the counter for their drinks. Potters met her halfway, drinks in hand and a charming smile in place. Lily took them with a 'thank you' and a smile and returned to the table.

"Sorry for the wait," Lily said as she sat down, smile still in place, "Bumped into James on his date and thought I'd say hi. Didn't want to be rude."

"Yes, we wouldn't want that," Severus said stiffly.

Lily tilted her head, her smile fading.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, concerned, "You seem tense."

"I'm fine," Severus lied.

Lily stared at Severus curiously. She glanced over her shoulder at James's, back at his own table with Jess and Meldonna.

"Is this about James?" Lily asked with a frown, turning back to Severus, "Are you upset I talked to him? I was just being polite."

Severus shook his head, schooling his face into a more neutral expression, "No, it isn't that. Honest, I'm just...my mind was elsewhere."

Lily raised a brow skeptically, "Really? Then what were you thinking about?"

Severus avoided Lily's gaze, "I was just...rethinking my gift choice for you. I want to make sure I get you something you'll like."

Lily smiled, "I'm sure whatever you get me, I'll love." She leaned forward conspiratorially, "So does this mean you're returning what you bought me? Might as well tell me what it is then."

Severus snorted, "I haven't decided yet if I'm returning it. I might stick with this gift, I might not."

"So is that a no?" Lily asked.

"It's a no," Severus answered.

Lily huffed, "Meanie."

The air seemingly lighter, Lily and Severus tucked into their meals; enjoyment of their dishes bringing much of their conversation to a stop aside from some idle chit chat. Potter and his group finished up and left before they did, which helped to lift Severus's spirits some.

When their meals were finished, the pair headed back out into the cold, braving the wind to lug their bags back to the school. They made their way through the halls relatively undisturbed, only waylaid a few times by a student or two lurking about where they shouldn't and needing Lily to send them on their way.

Finally, they made it to the portrait hole outside Lily's dorm.

"This was nice," Lily said after moment of silence, "I really enjoyed spending time with you today, Sev."

Severus smiled, nodding, "I did too. We should...we should do this again sometime. Just the two of us."

Lily nodded as well, "Yeah we should. We really don't get enough time alone these days."

"That we don't," Severus agreed.

The pair chuckled softly, at what, they didn't know.

"So..." Lily said hesitantly, "I guess I'll see you at Slughorn's party..?"

"Yeah," Severus said, ducking his head, "Right. I'm looking forward to it."

Lily smiled, all teeth, "Me too."

They stood there in awkward silence, both looking at their feet, at the floor, anywhere but each other.

"So I guess this is good night," Lily said after a while.

"Right," Severus said. He continued to stand there.

Lily bit her lip, "Um..."

Severus took a step towards her, only for Lily to do the same. They laughed nervously again.

"So..." Lily started again, looking bashfully at Severus.

Severus shifted awkwardly. His eyes trailed up to Lily's eyes, then down to her lips.

Lily waited, but Severus didn't move again.

Finally Lily stepped forward and hugged Severus.

"Thanks for today," she said, "It really meant a lot to me."

Before pulling away, Lily kissed Severus on the cheek, her lips lingering for a minute.

Severus stiffened up in her arms, but didn't pull away.

After a moment, Lily stepped back.

"Goodnight," she said softly, too nervous to meet his eyes.

She stepped through the portrait hole without another word, leaving Severus standing frozen in the hallway.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that could have gone better, huh?
> 
> Severus is going to have a hard time letting go of his insecurities...partly because it is so hard for him to admit he has any to begin with. 
> 
> And Regulus makes a reappearance. Anyone been wondering where he's been? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> Read and review! :)


	44. Ghostly Gab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Simone seek out some help from the afterlife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone!
> 
> As usual, you all have lifted my spirits with your reviews and feedback.
> 
> So we're breaking away from Snily to refocus a bit on the plot.
> 
> *waves to a crowd of boos and hisses*
> 
> We need get the diadem plot moving some seeing as it is nearly Christmas and they still have no real leads on it. I promise the Snily will return soon, so bear with me.
> 
> Sorry if this chapter has any confusion or inconsistencies, I rewrote it several times because it kept contradicting previously established details. I'd be writing and suddenly go "Wait, if it says this here...then what about when I said that over there?"
> 
> Anyway on with the show!

* * *

To most students at Hogwarts, the Bloody Baron was an elusive spirit, almost a non-entity whom was seen very little and crossed their minds only rarely. Nick or the Friar were more well-known and acknowledged staples of the Hogwarts resident afterlife, popping in on students frequently and making their presence known.

Even the Grey Lady and Moaning Myrtle, though private and isolated in their own right, were seen or at least spoken of more than the Baron. This was mostly in part because the Grey Lady took her title of Ravenclaw's ghost with a measure of grim pride and begrudgingly graced students with her presence from time to time. Myrtle, while sticking to the comfort of her bathroom, sought attention and sympathy, descending upon any student who should wander into her abode.

Yet the Bloody Baron seemed entirely nonexistent, prompting many students who had not yet seen him to question if Slytherin's ghost was anything more than a myth to add to the foreboding mystery of the House.

Slytherins, however, could attest that the Baron was in fact real.

Every few months or so, the Baron picked a new place to roam translucently, rattling his chains and letting out the most mournful, low moans. Months prior, he could be seen staring wistfully at the dusty shackles in the dungeon, before that people thought they saw him floating aimlessly through the Spectral Anomaly section in the library. To the keen eye of the observant witch or wizard, it was easy to spot a pattern to his travels.

It was because of this precise factor that Simone and Severus were able to track the Baron down. Initially reluctant to engage in a likely pointless conversation with the silent spirit, Severus had delayed any actual pursuit of the Baron, hoping Simone would go alone.

However, she refused to do it without Severus, citing his own stand offish, regretful countenance as a common trait between him and the ghost, which might prove useful for winning the Baron's trust. That coupled with Severus's own burning curiosity about the diadem led him to eventually give in and assist Simone in her questioning.

That was what led to them hiding just out of sight of their target on a stairwell.

The Bloody Baron was currently haunting the astronomy tower, looking off over the edge as if he wanted to throw himself from it if were only possible.

"He looks less like a killer and more like a wet blanket," Severus muttered from his hiding place.

Simone shushed him, "He'll hear you! Remember; it's his temper that wound up getting the girl he loved killed. Let's not piss him off."

Severus snorted, "Why not? It's not like he can touch us."

"Do  _you_  want to get haunted for the rest of your school years?" Simone challenged.

Severus imagined chains rattling over his bed at night, wails keeping him from a good night's sleep. He pictured mournful howls and miserable sighs dogging his every step, preventing him from having a moment's piece. He grimaced.

Simone clicked her tongue, "Thought not. Now let's go talk to him."

Coming out of her hiding place, Simone cautiously approached the wayward ghost.

"Excuse me," She began gently, "Baron, sir? May we have a word with you?"

The Baron turned around slowly, his eyes landing heavily on Simone with a dull stare. He was a tall man in life, with dark wavy hair that hung over his shoulders and a dusting of fine hair around his chin. His eyes were heavy lidded and his mouth thin and down turned like an upside down cupid's bow.

In life he was probably fairly handsome, but in death he painted a grim, depressing visage of sadness and self-pity coated in blood.

"You're from Slytherin," he observed softly, "One of the outspoken ones; you like to fix things you deem broken."

Simone stood up proudly, "I'm pleased to see my reputation proceeds me; it is my intention to make school happier and healthier, especially for Slytherin who get such a bad reputation."

The Baron nodded, "Yes, I believe I have heard of the trouble going on outside the walls of this castle. A former student of my house wishes to bring about a war."

"Sounds like you don't agree with him," Severus said, stepping forward.

The Baron's eyes swiveled in his head to land on Severus.

"I care not for the politics of the living," the Baron said flatly, "A person's bloodline or magical ability has little bearing on me now, nor did it affect me much when I was alive. Pureblood or muggleborn; it had no impact on my greatest desire, nor the fatal outcome."

"We know of which outcome you speak," Severus said plainly, "And who's death you really lament."

The Baron drew back sharply, alarmed.

"We are not here to judge," Simone interjected swiftly, shooting Severus a glare, "Love can drive one to great lengths. It's doubtful so romantic a soul as you meant to hurt her."

"We found your letters," Severus went on, "Quite by accident, we assure you. From how you wrote of her, it is clear she meant a great deal to you. She was your world."

"She was my everything," the Baron whispered, his face crumpling, "And I hurt her in a way I can never undo or make amends for."

"It was an accident," Simone said with forced kindness; never did she think she'd have to turn against her own principles to weasel information out of a stalker and murderer, "You were working on your temper, you put in so much effort to change yourself for her. No one could have foreseen it going so wrong."

"Oh if I were given but one chance to go back and fix my mistakes," The Baron moaned, "I would stop that accursed blade and wrestle it from my past self's hand. I would fall down upon my knees before her and beg forgiveness."

' _If you truly loved her rather than obsessed over her you would go back and leave her alone in the first place,'_  Simone thought sourly.

Still she pressed on, "We know you would do anything for her. You loved her."

Severus was having just as hard a time sympathizing with a man who willing stabbed the woman he loved to death. There was so much malice in an action like that, a desire to inflict pain. Even if the thought was there for a tenth of a second, it still has existed, apparently with enough spiteful strength and conviction to act upon.

The Baron didn't understand love; he knew only desire and want.

"We do not judge you for your actions, Baron," Severus lied smoothly, "Rather we wish to help you move on and find peace with yourself, maybe even with her, with Helena."

At the mention of her name, the Baron threw his head back and wailed forcefully, tearing at his hair in anguish.

Simone struggled to be heard over his cries, "Wrongs can be made right if things are put to right! We just need the truth!"

"What happened to the diadem?" Severus asked.

The Baron cried to his heart's content until he wore himself out. Eventually his sobs petered out. Sniffling, he looked at Severus.

"The diadem?" he asked in confusion, "Why is that important?"

"You know exactly why it is," Severus insisted, "When you tried to take it from Helena's body, what happened to it next?"

"I haven't any clue what you are talking about," the Baron denied, "I never had Rowena's diadem. It's been lost for centuries."

"Because Helena stole it!" Severus snapped. Things were going nowhere fast, "After you killed her, what did you do to the diadem? How did it make it from Albania to here?"

The Baron didn't appear to be listening anymore.

"Helena stole it," he murmured, mystified, "So it was with her in the forest that day. She must have been protecting it…that's why she refused to come with me!" He clutched his chest, "If only I had known the reason for your rebuffing, I'd have acted less rashly."

Severus scoffed, "You honestly still think she once returned your feelings?"

"Snape," Simone scolded harshly.

The Baron heard not a word, "Oh, my love, is that why you wander the halls so sadly? Because I separated you from the diadem? In death you are denied the chance to return it to your mother, oh! If only I had known. I ruined everything for you!"

With a heartbroken cry, the Baron swooped over the edge of the astronomy tower, plummeting to the ground. Such an act might have seemed dramatic and startling, if it were not for his ghostly form preventing him from hitting the ground.

Sobbing softly, he floated away to another part of the castle.

Severus and Simone peered over the edge.

"Well, he's delusional," Severus said after a time, "He's convinced himself now that the only reason Helena rejected him was because she was hiding the diadem. Does he honestly think she would have otherwise loved him?"

"He's willfully ignoring all the previous years she rejected his advances," Simone said, "He doesn't take no for an answer."

"Sounds like someone we know," Severus quipped.

"Thinking of Potter?" Simone asked.

"Indeed," was Severus's response, "They're one in the same, loving the idea of a woman, but not the woman herself and more she says no, the more he wants her simply to get his way."

"Plus they both put the woman on a pedestal," Simone pointed out, "I seem to recall someone else doing that…"

Severus blanched, turning to stare accusingly at Simone.

"I am nothing like Potter or that beast of a Baron," he snarled.

Simone examined her nails, "Not now perhaps. But you did think the sun shone out of her ass. She had no flaws in your eyes and if she disagreed with you, you came up with dozens of accuses, other's to blame—like Potter—just to avoid acknowledging that your difference of opinion might have been because you or her were wrong."

Severus scowled at Simone.

Simone tapped her lips in thought, humming, "One can't help but wonder how you would have turned out if the two of you hadn't worked things out. Would you have pined after her from a distance, loving a memory you built up to near godhood, unable to remember any of the flaws that made her human, that made her more than a fantasy?"

"I highly doubt I would get that bad," Severus sneered.

"Well we'll never know, now will we?" Simone shrugged, "For all we know, years from now you could have been a huge asshole, caring for no one but yourself and your precious Lily. I'm just saying."

"Shall we go on and speculate on whether I kicked puppies too in this hypothetical future?" Snape said sarcastically.

Simone raised her hands, "I just thought it interesting that you judge Potter so harshly for obsessing over Lily when you were nearly doing the same. But you're right," she added before Severus could object, "It's not exactly the same. You have actually known Lily for a long time and liked her for more than her looks. Potter hasn't even stopped to ask himself whether he cares about her feelings over his own."

"Thank you," Severus bit off, glad to have something they could agree on.

Simone sighed, "Well that significantly brought the mood down. Sorry…"

Severus huffed, crossing his arms, "Well…it's not like the mood was all that cheerful beforehand anyway, what with the crying, blood smeared ghost."

"Yeah, that turned out to be a bust," Simone lamented, "He didn't give us much other than confirmation that he is Helena's killer."

"And that she died in a forest in Albania like Myrtle said," Severus added.

Simone nodded, "Right, that too. Other than that, though, we've still got nothing. I guess we'll have to try and catch him again when we get the chance and question him some more. Till then we haven't anything else to go on."

"Not necessarily," Severus said cryptically, "Didn't you hear him?"

"Hear what?" Simone asked curiously.

"He spoke of Helena wandering around looking sad. He means her ghost."

"Yeah, so?" Simone shrugged.

"So, he haunts the school, so the ghost he would see would be in this school—Helena's in the school, Sim!" he ended irritably when Simone didn't seem to be catching on.

"You don't need to yell!" Simone winced, taking a step back, "I haven't had my second cup of coffee, give me a minute to mull things over, will you?" She rubbed her ears with a pout, before what Severus said hit her, "Merlin's saggy nut, she's here?! Why haunt the same school as her killer?"

"Helena died before him," Severus pointed out, "The Baron must have followed her here."

"I suppose it makes sense," Simone mused, "She probably wanted to be close to the place she grew up."

"Yes," Severus agreed, "Now, there aren't many ghosts to choose from and given this information I'm…grievously ashamed to say Helena has been under our nose this whole time..."

Simone blinked, "…The Grey Lady?"

Severus nodded, eyes pinched shut, massaging his brow.

"Does it make us blithering idiots that we didn't think of her from the start?" Simone asked, "I mean…she  _is_  the Ravenclaw ghost."

"Who could have been the ghost of any former student here," Severus pointed out, "Without records or pictures to compare her image to; there was no reason for anyone to automatically assume she was Helena."

"Yeah, but it seems so obvious now," Simone went on.

"I know!" Severus snapped.

"No wonder she's mopey all the time," Simone muttered, "I'd be too if I had to spend the afterlife followed around by my killer having a pity party for himself."

"She might also be upset because he stole the diadem from her," Severus theorized, "She seemed to care a great deal about it to have kept it in hiding all those years on the run."

"I guess we've got no choice but to ask her," Simone suggested.

"It won't be easy," Severus warned, "There's a reason no one here knows her as anything other than the Grey Lady. She's very tight lipped, so we need to be careful with how we ask her."

"Ask me what?" came a haughty voice.

Slipping up through the floor itself, the Grey Lady glided in front of them. A slim woman with dark hair, her face was pale, even for that of a ghost and her lips were pulled in a perpetual frown. Her eyes were sharp and inquisitive, the only life-like quality remaining to her otherwise lifeless demeanor.

Severus never noticed before, but her dark dress had an even dark streak on it, just under the left breast; the fatal blow that killed her.

"My Lady," Simone said with a curtsey, "What brings you here?"

"I heard that fool wallowing up here again," the Grey Lady sniffed disdainfully, "This was once my favorite place to be when I was living, but he is tainting it with his weeping. I came here to make him leave."

"It must be difficult to have him tainting your few happy memories," Simone said sympathetically.

"Do not presume to know me, child," the Grey Lady cautioned, "I was long before your time."

"She's just saying it must be hard to be around the Baron," Severus broached, "Given the connection between you two."

The Grey Lady's eyes hardened, "What makes you say that?"

Severus shrugged, feigning casualty, "I just can't help but notice…there's blood on you," he gestured to her dress, "And blood on the Baron. Only…much of what's on him doesn't seem to all come from his wound. So if it isn't all his blood then perhaps it is…" he trailed off, looking at the Grey Lady expectantly.

The Grey Lady appeared to be quite thoroughly ruffled. She leaned down, inches from Severus's face.

"I don't appreciate your tone," she warned, "And whatever you may believe is of no concern of mine," she straightened, "Meddle not in the affairs of the dead,  _child_ ," the last word was biting, "You know not of what you speak." She turned to leave them, fire in her eyes.

"No wait!" Simone cried, "Don't leave!"

"Guess we're putting all the cards on the table, then," Severus muttered, "Helena!"

At the sound of her name, the Grey Lady paused. Slowly she turned around.

"It's been years since I've heard that name," she said softly, almost in wonder.

Severus nodded, "You left behind your identity when you died. You didn't want anyone to recognize you."

Helena turned to face them fully, her eyes filled with regret and loneliness. Once cold and standoffish, the Ravenclaw ghost suddenly looked small, and childlike in her vulnerability.

"I didn't want them to remember me," she admitted.

"Because you stole your mother's diadem," Severus stated.

Helena looked up at him, shock warring with confliction in her face, "How do you know about that?"

"I've done my research," Severus replied simply.

"Is that why you've sought me out?" Helena accused, "to steal my mother's diadem and use it for yourselves? If you think I will let you soil it—"

"We don't know where it is," Simone interjected, practically pulling Severus into a headlock, "And we aren't after it."

"Last thing we need is her telling Dumbledore about this," she hissed so that only Severus could hear.

"We don't want the diadem," Simone continued for Helena, "And we've no idea where it is. We're really just curious, that's all."

"You'll never find it," Helena insisted hotly, "Even if you figure out where I died, you'll never locate it."

"We know," Severus said, shaking free of Simone's hold, "Because someone found its hiding place there."

Helena seized up in shock, "How do you know that?"

"We know it's in the school," Simone placated, "But not where and we don't want to find out. We just want to know why it was brought here."

"Enough games," Severus demanded, "We know the Baron killed you, and then tried to take the diadem."

"The Baron?" Helena questioned.

"What we want to know is why?" Simone explained.

"And what he did with it," Severus tact on.

Helena shook her head, "That's not…I don't know what…"

"Please, Helena," Simone begged, "Wouldn't getting the truth all out there feel better than keeping it in? We know you regret what you did. Let us help."

Helena looked away, biting her lip.

ow could you know that

"I didn't want to steal it," she protested futilely, "Not forever. I just wanted to be more like her…envied…and admired. I never lived up to her expectations."

"So you thought the diadem could help you," Simone said.

"I regretted it the moment I took it," Helena admitted, "But the damage was done. If anyone found out I had stolen it, things would never be the same. My reputation would be destroyed, my mother's name ruined….I knew I could never go back…so I ran."

"To Albania," Severus surmised.

Helena nodded, "I thought I would be well hidden there, but the Baron still found me. A hid the diadem in a hollow tree and next thing I know he was there. He begged me to come back, but I refused. Then…" she held her arms out, "Well, you know what happened next."

"And the diadem?" Severus pressed, "Where did the Baron do with it?"

Helena shook her head.

"How should I know?" she asked flippantly, "He must have taken it with him."

"He died covered in your blood," Simone pointed out, "How far could he have gotten?"

"Well I imagine seeing me dead drove him mad," Helena said tensely. She nodded to herself, picking up steam, "Oh yes, I remember watching him from beyond the veil. Mad he was, traveled night and day covered in my blood, howling to the sky in anguish."

"And then he killed himself?" Severus asked skeptically.

"Yes," Helena said, "He must have hidden the diadem at Hogwarts and then taken his own life."

"That doesn't necessarily add up," Severus said.

Helena tossed her hair over her shoulder, "Why don't you just ask him yourself what he did with it. I've told you all I know. Now, if that will be all," she drifted off through a wall before they could stop her.

 

{page break}

 

For the next several days, Severus and Simone split their free time between interrogating the Bloody Baron and pleading for assistance from Helena, both strategies getting them nowhere.

The Baron denied any and all connection to the diadem, claiming to have never even seen it when he came for Helena. Most attempts to push him further just ended in him flying off, wailing with lorn, though on one occasion Severus failed to fake enough sympathy for the Baron's plight and resulted in the ghost chasing them from the astronomy tower.

Helena was just as impossible.

"Clearly he's lying," Helena said for the fifth time that week, " _Of course_  he hid the diadem. He's the only one who can answer your questions."

"Well he's giving us nothing," griped Severus, "And I still don't think you're being completely honest with us."

"I've told you everything I know," Helena insisted.

"Perhaps if we could just hash over things again," Simone suggested, "Like, how did he know you had the diadem?"

"That is a good question," Severus agreed, "Rowena told no one that you were the thief and you had already hidden it when he found you. How'd he even know you would have it?"

For some reason, that question seemed to catch Helena off guard.

"I..." she stammered, "I-I...well...why wouldn't he know? He was obsessed with me!" she shot out quickly, "Would it be so hard to believe the man chasing after me all those years would have found a means to access knowledge not privy to others?"

"I suppose that is a possibility," Simone conceded, "He was rather fixated on you."

"He always has been," Helena said angrily, "He never left me alone. All through school he was there, pining, pleading. Nothing I said ever seemed to get through to him; he refused to believe we were anything but meant to be."

Helena floated by the window, looking out across the school grounds, "I had hoped to escape him when I fled this place, but somehow he always knew where to look. I oftentimes wondered if he had spies following me. When he cornered me in Albania, there was no reasoning with him. That rejection was the final straw for him, and I paid the ultimate price."

"Then the wretched fool killed himself," Helena huffed, thoroughly unimpressed, "As if falling on the very blade that killed me would somehow redeem his actions. It sickens me to think his body is still laying besides mine, like some poetic mockery."

"Wait," Severus interrupted, "You said the Baron killed himself at Hogwarts."

Helena paused.

"I did?..." she asked warily, slowly realizing her mistake.

Severus nodded, "How could he hide the diadem if he died that very night besides you?"

Helena didn't have an answer

"My god," Simone breathed, "He's not the one who hid it here, is he? He probably didn't even know you had it, just like everyone else."

"You've been trying to hide all traces of yourself or the diadem since the day you returned here after death," Severus surmised. He turned to Simone, "That fire Davis said happened in the common room so long ago; she must be the one who talked that student into it. She knew she couldn't cast the spell herself," He turned back to Helena, "That's why you were willing to help us; you were actually sending us in the wrong direction all along."

"I don't have to stand here and be accused like this," Helena snapped, gliding away.

"That's why you sent us back to the Baron," Severus called after her, "Because you knew he wouldn't be able to tell us a thing about the diadem. You've been leading us on a wild goose chase this whole time to avoid telling the truth."

"Think what you want, I've said my piece," Helen called back haughtily.

"We want to destroy it," Severus blurted out.

That stopped Helena dead in her tracks.

"We lied before; we do know where the diadem is," Severus continued, "We've known it was cursed since the moment we found it. It's not safe to keep in the school; to keep anywhere. That's why we wanted to find out what you and the Baron knew. We can't destroy is unless we know what was done to it."

Helena stared at Severus, her hard eyes glimmering with regret and unshed tears, if ghost could even cry.

"He told me the same thing once," she said distrustfully, "He said he would destroy it too."

"Who did?" Severus pressed.

"It was a boy," Helena answered, "He promised that if I told him where I hid the diadem, he'd destroy it and end my shame, but instead he brought it here. He corrupted it, tainted it. Then he hid it away in that room."

"Do you know his name?" Simone asked.

Helena hesitated to answer them.

"Please, Helena," Simone begged, "We can't destroy it without your help."

Helena finally relented, "In all honesty I have done my best to forget the one who misled me in order to bear the guilt. I was a fool to trust him, and now he has made my crime against my mother that much worse by corrupting the very item I wish I had never taken."

"So you don't know who he was," Severus said.

"He was charming when we met, though," Helena added wistfully, "He spoke with such kindness, such sympathy. It was almost as if he truly understood me. He told me that he was once Head Boy; I know that much."

"Which gave you all the more reason to trust him," Severus guessed, "So you told him the diadem was in Albania. Then what? I doubt he could really take off during his seventh year to go looking for it, nor would he be able to just walk back into school as he pleased after he graduated."

"He had already graduated when we first met," Helena explained, "He didn't seek me out until he came back to apply for a job. He wanted the Defense position and was rejected many times. The final time he returned to apply he had already cursed the diadem. He was quite sore when I saw him later that day, didn't even bother to hide what he had done to my mother's diadem. In fact, my horror seemed to raise his spirits; like it somehow made up for Dumbledore refusing him the post."

"Wait, Dumbledore?" Simone questioned, "He's only been headmaster since the late 1960's. So the diadem was hidden here not even twenty years ago."

Helena nodded, "Yes, it was not long ago."

"I knew it had to be recent," Severus muttered, "There's no way it would still be at the top of that pile if he was hidden centuries ago, not with so many people continuing to hid things in there. It probably would have been buried within two decades."

"So the culprit was a Hogwarts graduate not too many years ago," Simone mused, "A good student most likely given his Head Boy status, charismatic, probably manipulative and highly intelligent."

"And yet not qualified in Dumbledore's eyes to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts," Severus pointed out, "If he was planning to curse the diadem from the start, he would have been adept at some dark magic. Perhaps Dumbledore knew that and couldn't trust him."

"Must have been pissed off when he didn't get the job," Simone added, "He knew about the 'Come and Go' room and saw it as the ideal place to hide the diadem. What if he wanted to get back in to Hogwarts to learn more of its secrets. If that were the case, he'd be furious at Dumbledore for foiling his plan. I'm surprised he didn't hex him on the spot."

"What if it wasn't Dumbledore he would hex?" Severus asked, his eyes widening in realization, "Or rather cursed."

Simone cocked her head, "What do you mean?"

"The position of DADA wasn't always so hard to keep, Serapeum," Severus stated, "Professors used to last years in that job without anything happening to them. Now no one lasts to the next year and everyone says it is cursed. What if that was his doing?"

It was Simone's turn to be surprised, "Holy shit!"

"He was quite angry," Helena recalled, "The last I saw of him, he hid the diadem and left."

"Why didn't you tell Dumbledore?" Simone asked.

"Because this is all my doing," Helena admitted mournfully, "If I hadn't stolen the diadem from my mother, if I hadn't trusted that awful boy, none of this would have happened. Telling anyone would be admitting my shame, my greatest failures. I couldn't bear to let anyone know what trouble I had caused."

"In the meantime a dangerous artifact has been sitting in a school full of innocent people," Severus said in frustration, "Can you at least tell us what he did to it? What the curse or spell was?"

Helena shook her head sadly, "I know not. The damage was already done to it before he returned to hide it here. All I know is it felt like nothing I have ever encountered before. The magic covering it had a dark presence, a foul one. It was almost as if…" she trailed off.

"As if what?" Simone prompted.

"As if he and the diadem were one and the same," Helena said finally, "As if they were a part of each other somehow. I can't truly explain it, but when he returned, he had changed. Gone was the kind, handsome boy that once coaxed my secrets from me. In his place was a cold, unfeeling man, like he wasn't truly a man at all. His eyes lacked warmth or life to them, only a hard, cruelty remained, one that saw pleasure in my remorse. I saw his true self that day. The diadem felt like that too; it had become this unworldly, foul thing. I doubt the living can truly sense it as I would, but it was like death itself, a corpse. I just can put into words how…wrong it felt. It was like he put himself into it, a lingering aspect of himself to mock me."

"That unlike any dark magic I've ever heard of," Severus said, worry evident in his tone.

"Can you even attach a part of yourself to something?" Simone questioned, "I mean, what would it take? A piece of hair? A limb? Blood, maybe? Or would he have used a memory."

"Even the darkest blood magic doesn't take on anything of the caster from what they imbued it with," Severus said, "Nor would it give any sense of living to the item. It only strengthens its power to carry out whatever goal the caster had in mind. This might be beyond even that scope of dark magic."

"So how do we figure out what it is?" Simone asked.

"We be best off figuring out who cast it first," Severus admitted, "Some insight on them and their level of skill would help us figure out just how powerful a spell they could cast."

Simone huffed, "Well good luck with that. Helena doesn't remember his name, nor exactly what year he was in school apparently. We'd be trying to track down every Head Boy since 1965."

"We do have clues to help us," Severus pointed out, "Dumbledore clearly didn't want this person to have the DADA position. There are only too possible reasons someone as esteemed as head boy wouldn't make the cut; either he wasn't qualified—which isn't true given his obvious knowledge and skill in dark magic—or Dumbledore didn't trust him."

"So Dumbledore didn't trust him," Simone shrugged, "So what?"

"So it is unlikely Dumbledore would have appointed someone he didn't trust to the position of Head Boy when they were in school," Severus elaborated, "Meaning he wasn't the Headmaster who made the decision in the boy's final year. Given the timeline, it was Dippet who appointed him."

Simone's eyes lit up in realization, "And then he came back not long after to ask the new headmaster Dumbledore to give him a job. That narrows down the list some."

Severus nodded, "Exactly. And he cursed the DADA position. If we can figure out when that happened it might help us even more." He turned to Helena, "You're sure you don't know exactly how long it's been since he came here?"

Helena shook her head, "No. The first time we met he had already graduated. It was the first time he asked for the Defense job from Dippet, but was turned down. It was because he was young, though; from what I understand Dippet told him he was welcome to apply in a few years. That's when he asked me about the diadem."

"So he got rejected twice but there was still a silver lining for him," Simone said, "He used the first time to learn of the diadem, the second time to hide it. He probably wanted to be in the school so he could be close to it."

Severus tapped his chin, "He was too young for the job when Dippet was still Headmaster, but returned a few years later when Dumbledore was appointed…and Dumbledore was appointed in 1966 or so…I'd say the student probably couldn't have been out of school more than eight, maybe ten years or so when he came back the second time."

"That means we can cut the more recent graduates out of our search," Simone said, "That makes this easier."

Severus turned to Helena, "I know you didn't want to help us, but we do appreciate your assistance. It goes without saying, we'd appreciate you didn't tell anyone what we discussed today."

Helena stared at Severus with uncertainty, "You promise you are going to destroy it?"

"I swear on my magic," Severus vowed, "Rest assured there are those here whom I would like to protect and we cannot risk that thing falling into the wrong hands. Once we figure out what was done to it, we can find a way to destroy it."

"If you like, if we figured out what the spell is we could remove it and save the diadem instead," Simone offered.

Severus disagreed but bit his tongue. The simplest solution would be to just destroy the whole thing, but he wasn't about to argue about it in front of an audience who's cooperation was already precarious.

Helena smiled sadly, but shook her head.

"Destroy it," she said, "Too long has that diadem haunted me. I wish to put an end to things for good. If I cannot move onto the next realm to make amends with my mother, I can at least ensure her prized possession is no longer used for evil." She turned to leave.

With a sorrowful look, Helena glided through the wall and off across the courtyard.

"One more thing," she added, turning back to them briefly, "I cannot be sure what house he was in, but I know for certain it was not Ravenclaw." Then she floated away.

"So," Simone said after a time, staring after the Grey Lady, "Are we any closer to solving this?"

"I certainly hope so," Severus said quietly.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sorry if the chapter had any mistakes or contradictions. I kept editing this chapter over and over to direct the plot in the correct direction and I lack a beta to oversee my final results.
> 
> So I thought I would use the interaction with the Bloody Baron to touch upon a subject that bothers me in some fanfics depicting him:
> 
> Lust is not love.
> 
> The Baron hounded after Helena for years while they were alive, and judging by his refusal to give up, he didn't seem to respect her wishes and leave her alone. Using a request by her mother to find her in order to pursue her to Albania demonstrates the lengths he is willing to go to ignore her wishes and continue to harass her.
> 
> Killing her in anger is the ultimate example of how his feelings were not love. No one would go to such a depraved length to hurt someone they love. We make rash mistakes when we are hurt, but I truly believe in order to kill you must have true anger in your heart, a level of anger I do not believe you could truly direct towards someone you truly care for above all else. What the Baron did was little more than the selfish cliche of "If I can't have you, no one can" and I truly do not believe a person could do that to someone they genuinely love.
> 
> Even becoming a ghost at Hogwarts shows how little he actually respected Helena's wishes and feelings. Who the hell would think it appropriate to follow around someone you have hurt beyond repair? If he truly wanted to show repentance, he would have left her alone in the afterlife, finally honoring her wishes. Instead he intends to hang around all eternity, preventing his victim from ever truly being away from him.


	45. Holiday Slug Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily attend the Slug Club Christmas party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all!
> 
> Thanks again for the awesome reviews and feedback. Really, we writers need to hear from you in order to know how we're doing.
> 
> So, I'd like to address something many of out pointed out about the previous chapter. A very valid point at that. While we can agree that the Baron's refusal to take no for an answer is appalling, you are all right that we can't necessarily hold someone from his century to our standards of morals and ethics, as he was just one of...well...everyone who thought it was basically acceptable at the time. Back then, consent was very ill defined so I imagine that the only thing viewed wrong about his actions in that era was the murder itself and no one would have batted an eye at his fixation with Helena. So you're right, we can't exactly hold him truly accountable for something he and everyone else was taught to be acceptable behavior when it came to consent.
> 
> That being said, Simone and Severus do not have the ability to step back from the moment and analyze it over the course of a few hours to a few days like we all are able to as readers of the story. They're in the moment; they're sort of caught up in the initial feelings of discomfort the Baron's fixation causes them, so they haven't taken the time to be analytical about his actions and how they were shaped by his society.
> 
> Now, some argued that Helena may have at some point loved the Baron and/or still does. I'm went by the books and Pottermore, which imply that she never had feelings for him; that it was always one sided. But even if she had at some point loved him, that doesn't negate ANYTHING. He still shouldn't have murdered her, and he still should have backed off when she rejected him. It would be like saying it is okay for a guy to stalk a girl because he knows she is "playing hard to get" or a girl harassing a guy because she "knows he wants her". No matter what a person's present feelings are, if they say 'no' that should always be respected. I'll be frank, I don 't give a damn if Helena ever once loved the Baron; he ignored her verbal refusal to grant consent and continued to pursue her. That will always be wrong, regardless of what she was secretly feeling. Plenty of people still love someone they know is bad for them and separated themselves from; those lingering feelings would NOT make it okay for that person to continue pursuing them. At the end of the day what a person says in regards to their consent trumps what ever their suitor reads between the lines.
> 
> Now enough about that, on with the show!

* * *

"Finally!" Simone huffed when Severus finally met her outside the Portrait Hole for Gryffindor Tower.

The evening of Slughorn's holiday party was finally at hand and festivities were kicking up all over the castle. Since most of the student body was not invited to Slughorn's private event, most people were having their own 'end of the term' bash here or there before they'd take the train home in the next day or so. Many common rooms were bustling with activity in the form of garlands and tinsel, yule logs and trees, and snacks galore—courtesy of the Hogwarts elves or students breaking into their Honeydukes stashes.

Some exchanged gifts, others lit candles and taught each other their own family traditions for celebrating the season. Professors who had opted not to attend Slughorn's overly eccentric party crowded around the staff table in the Great Hall where a feast had been set up open to all staff and students. McGonagall, never one to enjoy Slughorn's over the top displays of pompous showboating, was more than happy to supervise the Great Hall and partake of the delicious meal.

While everyone else was busy making merry, Simone was stuck waiting for her fellow Slytherin to hurry the hell up.

Standing in the drafty hallway, Simone tapped her foot impatiently as Severus strolled up to her.

"Took you long enough!" she griped as he drew near. She placed her hands on her hips, "How can a guy possibly take so long to get ready? You're outfit is a bloody, freaking robe!"

"With far more buttons and clasps than I am used to," Severus defended himself.

It was true; never had Severus worn such a detailed or complicated outfit before. Though simple black in color, the garb was a stark contrast from Severus's usual plain attire of a turtleneck and slacks. Modestly slim fitting, the inner robe hung close to his frame, outlining Severus broad chest and torso. A long line of buttons trailed vertically down from a high collar neckline and ended just at belt level. From there the robe split open in the front to fall down to about knee height on either side of his legs and showed off the long limbs clad in fine black slacks.

Both sleeves were tight and ended just over the wrist line, buttoned securely and leaving no possibility for rolling the sleeves up.

The outer robe was a flowing, cape-like piece that went down the length of Severus's back and just barely brushed the floor. The cape split open at the shoulder for his arms to come through, giving it a vest-like feel. On his feet were dragon hide boots.

To feel less like a child playing dress up and more like an adult worthy of the outfit, Severus spent a long time in the bath earlier that evening, scrubbing until his skin was damn near spotless and his hair as clean as can be.

"This is far more extravagant than anything I've ever worn or even owned," Severus stated, holding his arms out to display his outfit in its entirety.

"And it looks marvelous," Simone said admiringly.

"I feel like a fool," Severus growled.

"Well you look like a king," Simone said, circling him, "Did you style your hair?" she asked.

"No," Severus said quickly, his hand going to his head to smooth his black locks behind his ear, "I just brushed it."

"Sure," Simone teased.

Severus scowled, "Moving on, I see you're all ready for tonight."

Simone smiled proudly, "But of course." Sporting a more traditional formal look, Simone was dressed in a dark navy dress with a high neck of cravat ruffles. The shoulders were bare, with the sleeves starting at the forearm and ending right at the base of the fingers, tight like a second skin. Over her bare shoulders, she wore a very short cape that hung open and framed her bosom, displaying the fine embroidery work over the chest of her dress. The mermaid skirt went to the floor and fanned out in a pool of fabric that hid her feet, clearly spelled to repel dirt as she walked.

She wore a single necklace, a simple chain of silver that met in the middle to hang down in one long chain that ended right where her navel would be.

"My mother's" she explained, gesturing to the chain, "Sometimes we appreciate subtle beauty."

Severus nodded disinterestedly, "I see. Well," he crossed his arms, "You said you were waiting for me…shall we go in?"

"Don't take that tone with me," Simone warned, "You're the one who took his sweet time." She knocked three times on the portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's indignant cries about being treated like a common door. After a few minutes of silence—a part from the Fat Lady's complaints—the door opened to reveal Marlene, decked out in a garish holiday sweater and tinsel in her hair.

"Welcome to the party," she crowed, waving the pair of Slytherin's in. Her words slurred slightly; clearly she had already hit the pilfered firewhiskey, "Things are just getting started."

"Thank you, dear, but we won't be staying," Simone said plainly, stepping through the portrait hole. She spared Marlene a glance, "Don't you look…festive."

Marlene grinned crookedly, tugging on her sweater, "You like? My friend Molly made it for me. Just arrived by owl this morning." She hiccupped, "She's married now. Miss Mollywobbles is all grown up!" she smiled blearily at Simone before wandering off towards the fireplace.

"I've always liked that girl," Simone observed, "She's very laid back."

"If she drinks like that all the time, I can see why," Severus quipped, "So where is Lily?"

Simone jerked her chin towards the stairs, "Upstairs. Thea's helping her get ready."

"Will they be long?" Severus inquired, cautiously sweeping the common room with his eyes.

"Not very," Simone replied, "And relax; Lupin sent them to sneak some sweets out of Honeydukes. The Moron Marauders will be gone for a bit."

From across the room, Remus waved at them with his free hand, the other busy fending off the grabby hands of a tipsy sixth year girl. His struggle went on for a few minutes before Mary breezed by and plucked the girl up by the elbow, leading her to the stairs and up to bed.

She spotted Severus and Simone on her way back to the couches.

"Severus," Mary greeted happily as she approached, "And Simone; good to see you both."

"Mary," Severus greeted with a kind smile, "Enjoying yourself?"

Mary grinned, raising her bottle of firewhiskey, "Responsibly; been nursing this one for a while, taking my time. I figured someone should try and have a clear enough head to supervise."

"You seem like the wise enough sort to do it," Severus complimented.

"Thanks," Mary said, tucking some hair behind her ear, "You look nice, by the way. Very distinguished."

Severus looked down self-consciously, "Thank you. It's…new."

"I can see that," Mary commented, "You look good with your hair back. It lets me see your face better."

Severus's hand went to his hair, "You think it looks okay?"

Mary smiled warmly, "More than okay," she lightly gave him a playful punch to the chest, "You're not half bad, Severus."

Severus rolled his eyes with a laugh, "You might have had a little more to drink than you let on."

Mary laughed jovially, "Maybe I have." Some movement on the stairs caught her eye, "ooh, here comes Lily!"

Severus turned to the stairs and as if by magic, his breath was taken away.

Lily stood at the top of the stairs in a lilac cocktail dress. A wide strip of lace across the top of the dress acted as straps that hung off the shoulders and left her arms bare, a strip of lace rising up from chest to wrap around her neck like a choker. Hanging longer in the back than the front, the skirt ended at the knee and hung down to the back of her ankles from behind. Deep purple piping ran down the front of the dress in two vertical stripes that narrowed as they reached the waist and widened at the hips, accentuating an hourglass shape. Her hair was pulled over one shoulder and curled and her feet bore light purple ballet slippers.

Thea came up from behind her in a slimming burgundy floor length dress with corseted waist, her hair braided into two plaits. Smiling down at Simone and Severus, she pulled out a light lace robe and helped Lily put it on.

Severus swore Lily practically glided down the stairs to him like some sort of angel.

"Sorry if you waited long," Lily said breathlessly, "We misplaced my shoes."

"More like some busy bodies hid them when they heard who she was going to the party with," Thea muttered to Simone, pointing to a far corner. Across the room, Meldonna and Jess watched the Slytherin trio suspiciously Abigail taking cues from them and mimicking their expressions of disapproval.

Simone flashed them a viper-like smile, prompting the girls to feign nonchalance and look elsewhere.

Severus smiled nervously at Lily, his tongue feeling too thick for his mouth, "We only just arrived; you didn't make us wait at all."

"You all are so lucky," Mary gushed, "A gala sounds so fancy. I'd kill to go to something like that."

"You too fancy for us common folk, Mary?" Marlene teased inebriated from fireplace. She stumbled over to a couch of her friends and plopped down across their laps, sending them into a fit of giggles, "S'thinks were not good enough for her…" she chuckled to her friends.

"Not it at all, Marley," Mary called back.

Marlene smirked, "Sure, sure. Well you're stuck with us tonight anyway," she hiccupped loudly then turned her attention to Severus and Lily, "Run along you fancy-folk. Go and enjoy your 'soph- _hic_ -sticated' evening. But hurry back before midnight, or you'll all turn into pumpkins." Marlene giggled to herself.

"Is that how that shit goes?" she asked a friend, "…Muggles are so weird…a pumpkin? Hysterical!"

Severus opened his mouth to correct her, but Lily placed her hand on his.

"She's close enough," Lily assured, "We should go before Potter and the others get back anyway. Wouldn't want them to throw a fit about all these Slytherins."

"Yes, they might think we're turning their common room into our new evil lair," Simon said in jest. She offered her arm to Thea, "Shall we?"

Thea laughed at her friend's antics, linking arms with Simone, "Let's."

Following their lead, Severus offered Lily his arm, pleased when Lily flushed prettily and rested her arm at the crook of his elbow. Waving goodbye to Mary—and ignoring Marlene's inanely crude jokes and calls—they ducked out of the portrait hole and down the hall.

It was quite fortune they left when they did, as moments later, the portrait hole swung open yet again and three familiar Gryffindors came charging through.

"The cavalry has arrived!" Sirius declared, winking at a group of tispy seventh years and making them swoon.

"And we brought reinforcements," James added. He opened up his cloak to reveal armfuls of cakes and sweets, "We even made a side trip to the Three Broomsticks!"

He gestured to Peter with an encouraging smile and the pudgy boy proudly pulled several more bottles of firewhiskey out of his robes, his smile growing wider when people cheered.

"Good on you, mate," Gideon said admiringly, taking one of the bottles and passing it around, "You nicked these yourself?"

"We left money," Sirius put in quickly to head off Remus's lecture of theft; his friend was glaring disapprovingly at them as he drew nearer, "But Peter here snuck us in."

Fabian thumped Peter on the back, "Good job, mate! Very good job."

Peter positively beamed under the attention. A few fourth year girls even smiled his way.

"You let him have this one?" Remus asked, sliding up next to Sirius.

Sirius shrugged, "You're the one who said we should be nicer to him."

When Remus continued to stare knowingly at him, Sirius sighed, "He's been feeling a little bummed about how his exams went; I figured he might like playing the hero for once," he scratched the back of his neck, "Besides, we really couldn't have done it without Wormy slipping inside and letting us in the back of the place."

Remus smiled, "I'm glad you're including him more," then he punched Sirius in the arm, "But you better have been telling the truth about paying for this stuff."

"We did," Sirius whined, rubbing his arm, "Honest. We left the money on the table. Come on, Moony, I'm not a common thief."

"I should hope not," Remus harrumphed, but his stern expression, lightened some.

"You're the one who sent us to get this crap anyway," Sirius pointed out.

Remembering his ruse, Remus nodded, "Well, yeah…you alone drink like a fish. I knew we'd be needing more refreshments before the evening wore out." For added measure he pointed at Marlene, "I'm pretty sure she's had a bottle and a half to herself so far."

Sirius followed Remus gaze and whistled, "You're right. That girl sure can put it away. Hey, McKinnon! You're supposed to share that!" Sirius took off to the couches, determined to wrestle a bottle away from the inebriated quidditch captain.

Nearby James with a smile as Peter soaked in the praise.

"I'm so glad you're back, Jamie," Jess cooed sidling up to James and wrapping her arms around his neck.

James gave Jess his trademark charming smile, "You know I can never stand to be away from you for long."

"It was sooo dull without you here," Jess went on, batting her eyes at him, "You're the life of the party."

"Plus, those Slytherins really brought down the mood," Meldonna huffed, crossing her arms, "They're slimy doom and gloom attitude was ruining the vibe."

James whipped around in shock, "There were Slytherins here?"

Meldonna nodded, "Snivellous and those two tarts he hangs out with. Simone and Thea, I think?"

James bawked at her, "How'd they get in?"

"There isn't a rule against visiting other common rooms," Abigail pointed out timidly, "As long as it's before curfew. Mary let them in."

"For Godric knows what reason," Meldonna sneered, "She's had those girls over here a few times actually. This the first time Snape wormed his way in." The expression on her face told them all just how much it rankled her.

"I know if you were here you would have kicked them out, Jamie," Jess said adoringly.

"You're damn right I would," James agreed, "Why were they even here?"

"They're all going to Slughorn's Christmas party," Abigail explained, "They stopped by to get Lily." At James's growing expression of displeasure, she trailed off, "…I think I'll go thank Peter for the drinks…" she quickly rushed away.

"Wait, so Lily isn't here?" James asked. His eyes scanned the crowd, but he caught no glimpse of flaming red locks of hair.

Jess shook her head, "No, she went with Snape and the other two. We tried to talk her out of it earlier, but she wouldn't listen."

"Oh," James's hand loosened its hold on Jess's waist, "So she's off with Snivellous?"

"Mh-hm," Jess hummed as she snuggled into James's arms, oblivious of his lessening attentions.

"Alright there, James?" Remus said, strolling over to them.

James perked up instantly.

"Definitely," he said enthusiastically, drawing Jess in closer, "It's a party with my best girl," he pecked Jess's cheek, making her giggle coquettishly, "Why wouldn't I be having the time of my life?"

"Just checking in on everyone," Remus offered with a shrug. He held a cup of firewhiskey out to his friend, "I hope you don't have too much fun. Wouldn't want you hungover in the morning like last time." He wrinkled his nose, "I've seen enough of you sick for a lifetime, thank you very much. You don't make a very attractive picture with your head stuck in the toilet."

Meldonna and Jess giggled.

"Let's not dwell on the past," James said hastily, steering the girls over to the refreshment table, "We're here to have some fun."

"I will so get you back for that," he hissed at Remus as he passed.

Remus smiled cheekily, "Bring it on."

 

{page break}

 

In Slughorn's quarters, the party was in full swing. Similar to the ceiling in the Great Hall, the office ceiling had been enchanted to resemble a moonlight night. Wispy clouds conjured for the occasion sprinkled snow into the air, the flakes magically disappearing before they reached anyone below. Fairy lights hung from every high nook and cranny, twinkling merrily at the partygoers.

Beneath the illusionary sky, nearly every available surface lay burdened under the weight of a magnificent display of food, any decadent morsel one could imagine spread out in a lovely presentation. Towers of sweets sat on double, triple, even quadruple layer circular racks, their arrangement of white frostings and blue sprinkled confections looking like sugary frozen fountains or sculptures.

Off to one side, a small band of goblins gather to play soothing, peaceful melodies on their violins and cellos, a tall, thin, and feminine being with a bald head standing among them and crooning alluring notes in an almost operatic fashion, the glitter of her silver frock shimmering in the fairy lights.

"He managed to top last year," Simone stated, returning to from a short mix and mingle around the room. She handed Lily and Severus a glass of punch, her own cup floating next to her, "Could have done without the goblins being used as entertainment, though," she added with a sniff.

"They're music certainly is lovely," Lily commented, "Do goblins celebrate Christmas?"

Simone shook her head, grabbing her floating cup and taking a dainty sip, "They celebrate the Solstice to some degree, but not to the level we do. The decorations, the glitz, the glam, it is all considered quite garish to them. Goblins only use gold and jewels in their weapon making, as they believe it imbues their craft with strength and resilience. Outside of weapon making and maybe some architecture, Goblins are far more reserved than humans are; they don't do fancy or showy. The do intimidating and composed. All these festivities are quite frivolous from their perspective," she looked over at the band, "Which is why it is sort of rude to ask them to entertain us in our merry-making."

"Slughorn doesn't mean anything by it," Thea assured, patting Simone on the arm, "He's oblivious to many faux pas he makes."

Simone hummed noncommittally, "Ignorance is certainly bliss, hm?"

"My, that is a beautiful necklace, Thea," Lily said, changing the subject, gesturing to the choker around Thea's neck.

"This?" Thea blushed, lightly touching the pendant etched with a depiction of a three-headed serpent, "Thank you. It was a gift…"

"Oh?" Lily leaned forward, intrigued, "From an admirer?"

Thea's blush deepened, "You could say that…"

"Enough gossip, ladies," Simone teased, patting Thea on the head, "We're here to enjoy ourselves, not gab like women at a stitch and bitch."

"I'd like to think I've gotten used to your occasional crude colloquialisms," Severus said dryly, "But then I see you dressed like a debutante while something outrageous falls from your mouth and I'm at a loss again."

Simone shrugged, "I find a colorful vocabulary keeps things interesting."

"You aren't allowed to cuss at all at home, are you?" Severus deadpanned.

"No, and so I shall do it as often as I like at school," Simone shot back primly. She placed her hand a top Thea's head, "Come Thea, we shall smooze with the illustrious. While we're at it, let's look for something suitable for our wonderful musicians to eat…I believe the House elves would be able to bring up some rarer meats…" she guided Thea through the throng of people, side stepping Slughorn as he swayed between guests, a flute of champagne in his fist.

"Severus m'boy!" the sizeable professor greeted with a jolly smile, "Just the boy I was looking for—Miss Evans! Aren't you a vision, tonight?"

"Good evening, Professor," Lily replied with a curtsey.

"Stunning," Slughorn praised, "Quite the lovely young lady." He winked encouragingly at Severus, "You're a lucky boy, Severus."

Severus flushed up to the roots of his hair.

"Oh," he stammered, he and Lily looking anywhere but at each other, "We're not…I mean that is to say…"

Slughorn waggled a thick, sausage like finger at them, "You can't fool me, young man. Ah, but where was I?" he placed a meaty hand on Severus shoulder, beginning to lead him through the crowd, "Come, come. I was just telling Belby that you'd be here—he remembers you, lad!—and he is quite interested in speaking with you again."

The evening went by in a blur, Severus and Lily being whisked here or there by their enthusiastic professor and talking with various people of noteworthy success whom Slughorn took credit for 'discovering the potential' in them. Severus had very little interest in making small talk with rising quidditch stars or the up and coming face of Witches Weekly's top beauty line, but he did enjoy his time speaking with those of likeminded academic interests.

There was a herbologist from Peru who was hoping to unlock potential healing properties in Devil's Snare, believing it's clingy and near unbreakable grip could bode well for a possible muscle strengthener in those who were lame and weak. An Alchemist from the Far East was attempting to recreate Nicolas Flamel's famed success in creating the Philosophers Stone.

It was Belby that most intrigued Severus, though. Not long out of Hogwarts himself, Damocles Belby was apparently researching the theory of using diluted forms of the most effective poisons for werewolves to instead weaken their hold on the afflicted lycanthropes. As Wolfsbane had mysterious the same debilitating effect on werewolves as it did actual wolves, it was Belby's theory that this very plant could hold the key to separating the beast from the man. It didn't sound like he was very optimistic for an outright cure, but clearly Belby felt some positive outcome of his research could arise and prove beneficial in lessening the werewolf threat.

Severus, of course, was more than interested in such a cause, still admittedly wary of werewolves despite Lily's sympathy for their predicament. He was growing more comfortable with Lupin, it was true, but still some distrust flared up near the full moon and Lupin's tired, haggard appearance the days prior. Curing, or at the very least taming, the bestial nature lurking within Lupin might take care of Severus's remaining unease so he couldn't say he wasn't eager for such a solution to be invented.

He and Belby spent a great deal of time conversing on the adverse effects of wolfsbane and how it may be used to neutralize the potency of the curse flowing through an infected person's veins, perhaps dull it. Considering that the plant was toxic to even regular humans, its properties would most likely be unable to be applied when the infected was wholly human, but maybe it could be tolerated in measured doses closer to transformation, when the curse ran stronger and enhance the afflicted person's senses and body in preparation for the change.

Lily gladly partook in their discussion, her own prowess in potions proving helpful in some troubleshooting over whether it was better to use chopped wolfsbane or the juice crushed from the plant.

The trio dined on an assortment of food and accoutrements like imported cheeses and exotic fruits while talking avidly, Slughorn having long since wandered away to refill his drink and boastfully engage other guests in conversation.

 

{page break}

 

"So you really have to go home for the holidays," Simone asked Thea quietly.

The pair stood off to the side of the buffet table, watching people mingle and dance. From where they stood, they had a clear view of Severus and Lily chatting the evening away with one of Slughorn's guests and several of their Housemates and classmates engaging in various forms of revelry around the room. Everyone was having a relatively wonderful time.

Thea had been having a fantastic time before Simone decided to return to a very tender subject.

Nevertheless, she nodded, "My parents were very insistent that I spend time with them. Since we're graduating this year, they said it is their last time to have their little girl at home before I am old enough to strike out on my own."

Simone scoffed, "More like they just want you close by to monitor what you're doing."

"It's not like that, Sim," Thea protested weakly.

"Please," Simone said, "They despise that you associate with me."

Thea bit her lip, "It's not that they disapprove…"

"You know they do," Simone stated flatly.

Thea looked down at her shoes.

Simone sighed, "Listen, whatever they want you home for is nothing good. Just keep your eyes peeled and above all contact me if something happens."

"They're my parents, Sim," Thea said in exasperation, "They wouldn't do anything to me."

"Maybe not to you," Simone muttered, "But who knows what they may want to do  _for_  you…"

 

{page break}

 

By the time Belby bid Severus and Lily farewell, citing a very important seminar he needed to get up for in the morning, it was bordering on eleven at night.

"I told you this would be fun," Lily pointed out after they waved Belby goodbye, "And to think, you didn't want to come."

"I didn't want to make a fool of myself pretending to be a stuffed shirt," Severus shot back, taking a sip of punch.

Lily nibbled on a toast point, "You were worried for nothing; you look dashing in that robe."

Severus felt his face burning.

"Thank you," he said, searching for a reciprocal compliment, "And you are…a vision of loveliness."

Lily snorted, "Taking pointers from Slughorn?" she smacked Severus's arm playfully, "That's such a grandparent compliment. It's like saying 'you look precious', or 'like a princess.' Don't give me grandpa compliments."

"So what should I call you, hm?" Severus asked with a wry grin, "Stunning? Sophisticated? Enchanting? Alluring?"

Lily cut him off, "You think I'm alluring?"

Severus blinked, his words catching up to him. Now his face felt like it was on fire, "I…"

Lily batted her eyes at Severus, "Sev…?"

Unwilling or perhaps unable to meet her eyes, Severus looked away. There were quite a few people dancing now, swaying slowly to the music as if in a sleepy daze. The instruments were playing by themselves, Severus spotting Simone and Thea sharing a large chair and talking animatedly with several of the goblin musicians over a plate of steak tartar and goose liver pate. Slughorn had wrangled the lead singer a rather unenthused woman of presumably Veela descent into a conversation about Slughorn's travels to Egypt several summers ago.

Scanning the crowd, Severus's gaze landed upon Regulus occupying the space by a flower arrangement, sipping on punch and nodding with feigned interest to his companion. The speaker had their back to Severus, but Severus would recognize that platinum blond hair anywhere.

Regulus's eyes drifted boredly from his companion. When his eyes fell on Severus, he jerked with a start, and then tried to discreetly redirect his attention elsewhere, as if to not alert his friend. But it was too late; the speaker turned around and Severus found himself making eye contact with Lucius Malfoy.

"Shit," Severus cursed under his breath.

"Sev?" Lily questioned, her demure gaze turning to one of concern.

"We've been spotted," Severus stated, gesturing to the other side of the room. Despite Regulus best efforts to recapture Lucius's attentions, the blond was having none of it. Eyes fixed determinedly on Severus and Lily, a slick smile spread across his face as he began making his way over.

Severus growled, "Great…just great." Squaring his shoulders, Severus stood at his full height, ready to engage the arrogant Pureblood in what was sure to be a polite ruse of casualty to hide insults and thinly veiled threats for Severus's spurning You-Know-Who's offer of power.

He made to move forward, but Severus had hardly taken a single step when a slim hand clamped down around his bicep and pulled him forcefully in the other direction.

"Lily?" Severus gasped in surprised.

"We're not dealing with him tonight," Lily said firmly, dragging Severus through the crowd. She ducked under the arm of a waiter serving crab cakes and slipped around a corpulent woman with far too much perfume giggling loudly to a man half her age.

"This is supposed to be a fun evening for us," Lily continued, "I won't have that bigot starting something and bringing the entire evening down."

"But Lily," Severus protested. He struggled to keep upright, stumbling over his own feet as he tried to keep up with Lily, "I can't just run away. I'm not a coward."

Lily ducked behind a curtain by one of the windows, shoving Severus into the cramped space with her.

"I know you aren't," she said seriously, "And he does too. That pompous…. _ass_  would never have put himself in danger for someone else. You're braver than he is and he knows it. He just wants to take advantage of being safe in public to taunt you where you can't hex him for it. He's the coward."

She took Severus hands in her own, staring up pleadingly at him, "Sev, I know standing up for yourself is very important to you, but you don't need to prove anything to him. Not tonight." She stepped closer, "This was supposed to be about us; about having fun together. I don't want him to ruin that."

Severus stared at her, torn. On the one hand, he truly couldn't stand the idea of being seen fleeing from the likes of Malfoy—it was a given Severus could wipe the floor with that arrogant cad in a duel any day of the week. On the other hand, he had promised Lily he'd try to have a good time tonight, if only to make up for how he had avoided her after their close encounter in the alcove. His pride was warring with his heart and as much as he knew it would look weak of him to retreat, disappointing Lily would cause him far more grief than making Malfoy think he was afraid.

Closing his eyes, Severus sighed.

"Fine," he said finally, leaning his head back against the wall, "I don't need to confront him."

Lily's eyes lit up like Christmas lights, a relieved smile stretching across her face.

"Do you think he saw where we went?" Severus asked peering past the curtain.

Lily hazard a peek around the curtain. After a moment she shook her head, "No, it looks like he got snagged by Slughorn halfway across the room."

Severus snorted, "Bless that man for timing. So…" he leaned back, feigning nonchalance, "What do we do now?"

"Well I'd rather not be spotted by him," Lily replied, resting against the window sill, "But there isn't much to do here…"

Severus hesitated, awkwardly shifting from side to side. The music of the bands' enchanted instruments carried to their hiding place, lofting over them in a tranquil tempo.

"Would you…" Severus began carefully, "Like to dance?"

Lily blinked, and then blinked again. A rosy flush rising to her cheeks, she nodded quickly.

"Yes," she said nervously, "I-I'd love to."

Stepping up to Severus, Lily raised her hands and settled them gently around Severus's shoulders. Not sure what to do with his hands, Severus hesitantly put them at Lily's waist, the barest of touches. He was more than surprised when Lily boldly took a step closer, their middles almost touching.

"I won't break, you know," she teased softly.

"Right," Severus stammered, clearing his throat with a cough. Stepping closer, he left one hand at Lily's waist and moved the other to the small of her back.

For a moment, neither said or did anything, just standing there in silence.

Severus took a deep breath, "I guess we just…sort of…" he started to sway side to side.

Lily followed his lead, copying his movements, "Would you believe I've never danced with anyone who wasn't a cousin or my father before?"

Severus chuckled slightly, "Would you believe I've never danced with anyone  _ever_?"

They stumbled a bit and Lily giggled, "Yes, I can definitely tell."

Severus made a face at her, "Brat."

Lily laughed some more, starting to relax, "So, I heard from Simone that the two of you have made quite some leeway with the diadem mystery and the Bloody Baron. She tells me it is quite the tale of love and loss."

Severus rolled his eyes, "Only if you count stalking and harassing someone 'love'. That man is barmy, I tell you…"

They continued to dance as Severus regaled Lily with the frustrating week he and Simone had dragging the truth out the Grey Lady and her unwanted suitor. When all secrets were revealed and the party had finally come to an end, they slipped out into the crowd before Malfoy could spot them. On their way out, they caught sight of Simone leading a sleepy Thea back down to the dungeons. Flashing them a smile, Simone waved with her free hand, her other one wrapped securely around a drooping Thea's waist.

Severus and Lily walked shoulder to shoulder back to Lily's dorm.

"Tonight was fun," Severus observed, "It was…wasn't it?"

Lily nodded, a bright smile on her face, "It was great. Perfect even."

Severus allowed himself a small, relieved smile, "I'm glad. I didn't think I would be good company for that sort of thing."

"You were wonderful company," Lily assured him, "I can't think of anyone else I would rather have spent the evening with."

"Not even Potter," Severus ventured.

Lily scoffed, "Do you honestly see him at a fancy event and  _not_  making a fool of himself showing off?"

"Truthfully, no," Severus smirked.

Lily giggled, "Thought so," she shuffled her feet, "Well…good night—"

This time, Severus kissed Lily on the cheek, ever so close to the corner of her mouth.

"Goodnight," he said hastily, afraid to meet her eyes in his embarrassment. He fled before Lily could respond.

Watching after the dark haired boy, Lily heaved a soft sigh, climbing through the portrait hole and off to bed.

"We're getting there."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, the tension is getting thicker. Someone get a knife!
> 
> Hope this chapter was pleasing to you all. Not much to say here as things were pretty straight forward.
> 
> Read and review :)


	46. Home Again, Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes home for the holidays!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys all make me so happy!
> 
> Seriously, the feedback, the reviews, the advice, and the theories on what's to come are all amazing and so encouraging. You really make it all worth while.
> 
> This chapter features a treat for you all, a look into the life of one of our heroes (not Lily or Severus since you've already seen theirs).
> 
> On with the show!

* * *

The Hogwarts Express chugged steadily down the tracks along the countryside. The clacking of its wheels formed a reliable and monotonous rhythm for its occupants to be soothed by, dozens of happy students crammed into compartments in various states of anxiety and anticipation.

"We're almost to the station," Lily exclaimed from her seat by the window, watching as the houses scattered along the countryside got closer and closer together, forming into actual towns rather than isolated residences.

"So what?" Marlene grumbled, "It just means having to get up sooner." The elder girl was currently tucked into a corner with her arms wrapped around her middle, her cloak pulled up to her neck like a blanket, "Let me sleep…"

"If you hadn't spent the last few days partying, you wouldn't feel so awful now," Mary pointed out with little sympathy. She finished tying off the needlepoint she had been working on, an image of several flowers and a rabbit, "You drank like a fish."

"And blew chunks like a dragon breathing fire, so I hear," Nesme added.

"Worth it," came the muffled reply from underneath Marlene's cloak, "Had more fun than I knew what to do with. And!...I avoided the dreaded 'anonymous hookup'."

"Not for lack of trying," Mary informed the other's, "I had to spend the evenings chasing her around and pulling her off of any unsuspecting bloke she came upon."

"Got handsy with one fella, though," Marlene declared triumphantly, "Not sure who it was; chubby little guy…cute though. Didn't have a clue what he was doing. You let your guard down Mary."

"I had to use the bathroom sometime!" Mary said ruefully.

"Did you see who it was, Mary?" Lily asked curiously.

Mary shook her head, "Nope. He was already gone when I returned from the loo. When I got back, all I saw was this lush," she pointed at Marlene, "With the most ridiculous, sappy grin on her face."

"He's my mystery man!" Marlene hiccupped from under her cloak.

"Either she's still drunk, or she working on getting there again," Davis stated, eyeing the cloaked form suspiciously.

Severus shared a look with Lily, grinning mischievously. Leaning forward as quietly as possible, he reached out for the edge of the cloak…

Only to withdraw his hand as a rather convincing growl came from beneath the cloak, the fabric shaking slightly.

"Hands offs, Snapey," Marlene growled.

Severus grimaced at the nickname.

"Hey for all we know, you've got a flask hidden under there," Severus protested, "Might as well share."

"Well 'm not drunk," Marlene said moodily, "just hungover. There's a difference!"

"Yeah, one of them comes with all the dizziness, nauseous, and lack of coordination of alcohol with none of the fun of alcohol," Severus said sardonically.

"I'll have you know that holding one's liquor is a thing of pride in my family," Marlene stated proudly.

Severus wrinkled his nose, "Forgive me for failing to see the honor in passing out in one's own filth. I prefer not to dullen my sense with piss water, thank you very much."

Marlene snorted, "You don't know what're missing out on."

"I'm willing to live in ignorance," Severus replied.

Lily rolled her eyes at her friends' antics. It was good to see them getting along. True, Marlene had never been one of the people in her House who held any real suspicion or dislike of Snape.

It was understandable that some distrusted Severus; Mary's fear of his former Housemate Mulciber being a prime example of how it shaped her viewpoints on Slytherins, but some judged Severus purely on outward appearance. Jess and her little group tended to look down on anyone who didn't meet their standards of attractiveness and popularity and it didn't help that they clung to James's every word.

Of all Lily's friends, Alice and Marlene never formed a strong opinion one way or another about Severus, mainly because they had never spoken to him and felt it silly to dislike someone they hardly knew.

A competitive girl, Marlene bought little into the idea that ones house indicated their moral alignment of good and evil, instead saving her ire for the all opposing houses' quidditch teams. This meant she was one of the few who antagonized or looked down upon Severus. She never bothered to show him a friendly face either. For years, Marlene and Snape had treated each other like two boats passing in the harbor. It was unfortunate, considering that Marlene's outgoing and welcoming personality could have done Severus a world of good in his early years, showing him that Lily wasn't the only Gryffindor worth associating with.

Her boldness and ferocity might have even benefited Severus in keeping the Marauders and their fan club at bay; Marlene wasn't someone you crossed when she declared something or someone off limits. She once dished out a very severe concussion to one of Slytherin's beaters during an intense game as retaliation for them failing to stop bullying Abigail after Marlene's warnings.

Now that Lily thought about it, ignoring Marlene's penchant for over indulgence and revelry, her protectiveness and loyalty were very much like Simone's and Severus seemed to get along with her quite well (despite his claims to the contrary).

Speaking of Simone…

"Simone told me before she left that she'll be at the platform with our parents when we get to the station," Lily informed Severus, "She's joining us for dinner out so that she can catch up with Tuney."

"Begs the question of why she bothered having Minks bring her home when she was just going to meet us when we got off the train," Severus mused, "I swear she does things like that just to appear superior."

Nesme shook her head, "That's not it at all. Simone has no problem riding the train with the rest of us."

Davis nodded, "Excluding the fact that the conductor doesn't want her on here anymore. Anyway, the only reason she goes home via house elf is for Thea's sake. Her parents don't like her taking the train."

"Why is that?" Lily questioned.

Davis shrugged, "Not a clue. Simone said something about Thea's folks not feeling comfortable with it, but we've never actually spoken much about them outside of that, so I know very little about them."

"We've never seen them either," Nesme brought up, "I'm honestly not sure I would know who they were if I bumped into them on the street. They never go with Thea for her school shopping, never hang around town for a bite to eat or to meet with friends. You'd almost think Thea had no parents by how rarely they are seen in public."

Severus leaned back into his seat, lost in thought, "Thea's family supposedly has that gift of uncovering other's secrets. Perhaps they do not wish to be hassled by people about what sort of things they have learned over the years?"

"Anything's possible, I suppose," Davis conceded.

"I'm just saying, it's weird how distant they are," Nesme said, "Thea hardly even speaks of them."

"She hardly speaks at all," Severus pointed out, "She's the quiet one, not that hard given how talkative the rest of you are…" A mitten hit him in the face.

"Flawless victory," Marlene said from her cloak cocoon, pumping her fist once.

"We can't all brood in the corner of the library," Davis joked, raising a brow at Severus, "Besides, I don't talk nearly as much as these chatterboxes."

That earned him a kick in the shin from Marlene.

"Play nice, you two," Mary teased, bringing to pick up her things, "We're pulling into the station."

It took as long as one would expect to unload a train of rowdy, unruly teenagers all eager for the holidays, all cramming through doorways at once in a very Three Stooges-eques fashion. By the time Lily and Severus managed to herd their group off the train and on to the platform, the train had been stopped for a good ten minutes.

"Someone help me with my bags," Marlene whined, still wrapped up in her cloak. She snagged a passerby by the collar of their shirt, "You. You'll do nicely."

"M-me?" the boy squeaked. It turned out she had grabbed hold of Peter Pettigrew, who was turning an alarming shed of red in Marlene's presence.

"Yeah, you," Marlene snapped, "Do you see me hanging onto to any other guy, here?" she squinted at him, "You look awfully familiar…"

Peter went pure crimson, "W-well, that's because we're classmates, of course," he stammered, "and Housemates. You see me every day in the common room."

"that must be it," Marlene accepted, still too tired from all the end of term festivities to dwell on the matter. She tugged on Peter's collar, "Be a gent and help me with my things. My da will be here any minute."

"B-but, but I," Peter protested lamely, already being dragged off by a persistent Marlene.

Remus, having been nearby, followed after his friend with a grin, figuring he could be of some help to prevent Marlene from eating Peter alive.

Mary sighed, "Let's give a moment of silence for poor Peter, eaten alive by the ferocious Marlene. May God have mercy upon his soul."

"Not sure Judaism is the proper way to send off a pureblood," Severus mused with a smirk, "but on the bright side, at least the last sight he see will be Marlene and not the ugly mug of—"

"Alright there, Evans?"

Severus scowled, "Speak of the devil…"

James sauntered his way up to their little group, Jess pressed tightly to his side. Sirius swagger besides them, chatting amicably with Meldonna while Abigail trailed behind them at a sedate pace.

"Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Christmas," James said, turning his head to take in Lily and her friends. He purposely avoided looking at Severus, "Got any plans for the holidays?"

Wanting to get it over with and send Potter on his way, Lily elected to respond, "Not that it really concerns you, but no, my folks and I don't have anything planned for Christmas. We're just happy to spend time together as a family," she thought about it for a moment, "Though I think Simone did invite me and Sev over with my sister—"

"Great, great," James cut her off dismissively. He turned a sappy grin to Jess, gazing down on her with exaggerated fondness, "I've invited Jess over to meet my family. We'll be taking a sled ride across the estate; the Potter's have one of the nicest estates, mind you," he added, "Yes, it's sure to be quite the romantic and memorable evening for us, won't it Jess?"

Jess giggled, snuggling into James's embrace, "Indeed it will, Jamie."

Behind them, Sirius made a gagging noise, but the couple paid him no mind.

"Well my mom says we're going to Ireland," Nesme announced, "My stepdad's parents live out that way and it's been years since we've seen them."

"Lovely," James said, not sounding the least bit interested.

"Not that you're really listening at this point, but my family is going to join my eldest brother and his wife's family for Christmas," Mary said with a frown of disapproval directed at James.

"I'm listening, luv," Sirius called out.

"Well I wasn't talking to you," Mary shouted back. She turned on her heel and stormed off to collect her trunk.

"I suppose you have plans, Black," Davis asked with weary politeness.

Sirius grinned, "As a matter of fact, my plan is to follow 'Jamie's' plan," he slung an arm over James's shoulder, "I've been staying with the Potters, you see. Sweet folks, they are; treat me like their own son. So I figure I'll hop in a sled myself, maybe invite some pretty little number to join me," he waggled his eyebrows at Meldonna, "How about you, gorgeous?"

Meldonna looked flattered, but she shook her head, "I'll be in Paris all winter break."

"Shame," Sirius said. He turned to Abigail, the timid girl unnoticed until now, "What about you, you busy?"

Abigail flushed scarlet, letting out an intelligible squeak.

"Guess not," Sirius shrugged, turning away from her. He hadn't seemed too impressed with her looks anyway.

Sirius's eyes landed on Severus and he smirked.

"And what are your holidays plans, Snivellous," he asked nastily, "Mummy going to give you a Christmas gift and let you take your first shower in years?"

James tried to remain stonefaced, but the hint of a grin was peeking out of his face.

Jess and Meldonna hid their grins behind their hands.

Severus bristled, a scathing reply on the tip of his tongue, when Lily intervened.

"Actually, Sev will be enjoying a peaceful holiday with me," she stated.

Any traces of mirth were wiped cleaned off James's face, "What?"

Even Sirius looked shocked by this admission. Jess and Meldonna were completely scandalized.

"Lily," Meldonna gasped in horror.

"Surely... _Snape_  would rather spend time with his own family," Jess proposed disdainfully, "No need to burden your family."

Snape glowered, his lip curling back in a snarl.

Lily glared at her dormmate, "We're more than happy to have Sev join us. My parents invited him to spend all of winter break with us since his mother is away…visiting family."

"I didn't know he was staying with you," Mary admitted in genuine surprise.

Oops, Lily forgot that Mary wasn't aware of Severus current living arrangements. She honestly had no intention of telling any present company that Severus actually lived with her—James seemed to have moved on to a new girl, but that didn't mean he stopped hating Sev enough to forgo raining on any bit of happiness he had. Still, Sirius seemed so smug about his remark that Lily needed to say  _something_  to wipe that irritating smirk off his face. A slight stretching of the truth couldn't hurt.

"Yeah," Lily said to Mary, "His mum is out so my parents thought it would be nice to have Sev over for Christmas. It's better than being home without his mum."

"Oh," Mary said seeming to accept Lily's fib, "That was sweet of them."

"Well, you know how much they adore Sev," Lily remarked, leveling a challenging stare at Sirius and James, "They think he is a total delight."

James stood there stunned, at a complete lost for words.

"I think she broke him..." Davis whispered to Nesme.

"So he's..." James began pointing a slightly shaking finger at Severus, "Going to be with you," he pointed at Lily,  _"all break?"_

Lily nodded, "He's slept over before; we've been friends since we were kids."

"Tough break, mate," Sirius muttered.

Jess shot Sirius a questioning glare.

"Well," Jess said, turning back to the group. She was looking at Lily a little differently, glancing distrustfully between her and then to James's gobsmacked expression, "I hope you have...fun, Lily." Come along Jamie, you can help me gather my things."

Still in shock, James mindlessly allowed himself to be dragged away from Lily and Severus.

Sirius shot Severus one last nasty look before following.

"I should probably go find my mom and dad," Mary said once James's troupe were gone. She pulled Lily into a hug, "Happy Christmas, Lily."

Lily smiled, "You too, Mary."

Mary turned to Severus expectantly, "Have a great Christmas, Severus."

"Same to you," Severus replied with a slight smile. He held out his hand to shake, only to drop it in surprise when Mary threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

After a moment, she pulled away, "Bye, you guys."

Mary waved to Nesme and Davis then disappeared through the crowd.

"There's my mom!" Nesme cried, pointing ahead of them, "I'll see you all after break."

"I'll come say hello," Davis offered, before looking at Lily and Severus, "Happy Holidays."

The pair set off in the direction of a plump, auburn haired woman in a burgundy cardigan. She had Nesme's same dimply smile and was standing next to a tall, olive skinned man with a short beard and traditional wizard robes.

The woman embraced Nesme when she drew near, her smiling nearly splitting her face. Davis nodded politely to the man besides them, receiving a cordial nod in return, before the man turned his attention to Nesme, sweeping her up into a hug of his own.

"Her stepfather is from the Middle East," Severus observed, "I never realized that."

"Me either," Lily agreed, "For the most part, she just refers to him as her dad, so I always assumed he was English like us."

Severus hummed, "So, do you think it was wise to tell Potter about my living arrangements?"

Lily grinned, "It's fine. I didn't tell them that you actually live with us now. As far as they're concerned, you're only visiting."

"Still..." Severus hesitated.

Lily pushed on "Look, I just couldn't stand how smug Black was acting. It's a holiday; a happy occasion. Who does he think he is trying to put a damper on our good mood I had to wipe the smirk off is face."

"He did look better gaping like an imbecile," Severus admitted with a smirk.

That made Lily smile brighter, "Come on, let's go find my folks."

She grabbed Severus's hand and began leading him along, unaware of Severus's muted shock and awe as he stared at their joined hands.

It didn't take them long to find Hank and Willow among the scattered families. They were standing together by a pillar with Petunia. Severus could see from where he was that Simone had already found them, the dark haired girl chatting animatedly with Lily's sister, their arms linked together as they chattered and laughed.

Willow spotted her youngest daughter first.

"Lily flower!" she cried, waving them over, "Over here, luv!" She didn't wait for Lily and Severus to reach her before rushing over and grabbing them both into a bone crushing hug.

"My baby's home," she said happily, kissing her daughter's head, "And it's so good to have you home too, Severus."

"Glad to be back, ma'am," Severus croaked out, his voice muffled into Willow's shoulder.

"Mum, we sort of need to breathe," Lily gasped, tapping her mother's arm.

"Oops," Willow released her vice-like grip on them, stepping back with her hands up, "Sorry."

"There's this new thing called air, that all the kids are talking about honey," Hank joked, walking up to the trio, "They're sort of keen on it."

Willow smacked Hank's arm, "Hush you."

Hank chuckled. Turning to his daughter and her friend, he smiled, "Welcome home, you two."

"Hi, daddy," Lily greeted, hugging her father around the middle.

"I've missed you, Lilypad," Hank said with fondness. Pulling back he gave Severus a one armed hug, patting the teen's back, "How are you doing, Sev?"

"I'm doing well," Severus replied.

"As usual, you took your time," Simone said as she sauntered forward, arm and arm with Petunia, "You seem to have a knack for tardiness."

"We got delayed," Severus drawled, rolling his eyes, "By Potter."

Simone sneered at the mention of his name.

"Potter?" Petunia asked, wrinkling her nose, "He's that one who was rude to us before you both got on train earlier this year right? The one who won't stop bothering Lily."

"The very same, unfortunately," Simone said with a sigh, "What did he want this time?"

"Just to flaunt his new relationship with Jessica and brag about how great his Christmas will be," Lily said, "He barely cared what any of us were doing during holidays, yet he's the one who asked in the first place. He just wanted to open the conversation up so he could gloat."

"He wasn't gloating much when he heard I was 'visiting' with your family all break," Severus pointed out.

Simone actually cackled, "Ooh, I bet that just killed him."

Lily thought about it. She'd been more focused on getting back at Black, "Well, yes James seemed a little shocked, but then again, he's always hated Severus. It probably bothers him that Sev won't be miserable at home."

Severus and Simone shared a look. Did Lily honestly believe Potter's animosity towards Severus was no longer about Lily simply because the prat got Jess for a girlfriend?

"Evans, you're far too trusting," Simone said.

Lily frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you need to stay on your guard," Simone said simply, "Don't assume that your problems with Potter are done now that he's got a girl on his arm."

"He seems really smitten with her," Lily insisted, "Maybe he's truly moved on. Shouldn't we be glad?"

Simone shrugged, "I hear old habits are hard to break. But enough of that; I've beenn promised dinner at a muggle restaurant. I'm interested in trying this 'fish and chips' all the muggles are talking about. I've only ever had my fish sauteed."

"And she's never had chips, Lily," Petunia said, amazement written all over her face, "Isn't that weird?"

"Chips are sort of a cheap food," Severus pointed out, "Purebloods tend not to eat much of that; most believe it puts them on level with us commoners. I bet Serapeum has never has a mozzarella stick either."

"I've had potatoes sauteed, baked, and broiled, but I can't say I've ever had them deep fried," Simone admitted, "Not for any imperialist reason; mum just prefers to avoid fried foods. They're bad for the skin."

She grinned, "But what mum doesn't know won't hurt her."

"I'm surprised you didn't drag Thea along for such a momentous occasion," Severus observed.

Simone's smiled faded, quickly replaced by a petulant scowl.

"Her parents  _insisted_  she come straight home," Simone said sourly, "Who knows when I'm actually going to see her this break."

"Not a fan of her folks," Lily inquired.

Simone looked away; besides her Petunia shifted guiltily, like she knew something she wasn't sharing.

"Let's just say they and I do not get along," Simone said and left it at that. She turned around, walking away, "Let's get your bags into the car. I'm starving, anyways."

 

{page break}

 

"Miss Thea?" an aging, timid house elf stood in the doorway of Thea's room, "You is being requested for dinner."

"Thank you, Heeby," Thea said kindly, "I'll be down shortly."

Heeby bowed low, his ears sweeping the floor. He disappeared with a pop.

Thea sighed, setting her hair brush down and looking into her vanity mirror.

As per her mother's preferences, her typical braids had been removed, the curls and waves that pulled her bangs away from her face gone. Instead, she had used magic to tame her hair rigid straight, her bangs a neat line across her forehead that came just over her brows and cast a shadow over her eyes. Her mother said it added regal mystique, created a poise reservedness perfect of a pureblood.

Standing up from her vanity, Thea began the long, silent walk downstairs. The sun now set, only candle sconces lit the manor, casting eerie shadows on the walls and bringing up lingering nostalgia of Thea's childhood. Traversing endless ancestral halls, she passed ancient relics behind glass cases, golden framed portrait after portrait of generations passed, stone faced and blank eyed as they watched her, only their eyes moving as they determinedly held poses of stiff elegance.

Finally, Thea stood outside the dinner room, the doors a grand dark oak, heavy and foreboding. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand and knocked twice on the door. No more, no less.

"Enter," came a high voice from within.

The doors opened of their own accord and Thea entered, head down, hands clasped in front of her.

"Theadosia," came the voice again, "You may speak."

"Thank you mother," Thea said softy, "It is lovely to be home." Slowly she raised her head and set eyes upon the family matriarch.

Apollonia Mnemosyne was a brittly thin woman, somehow an imposing figure at barely over five feet. Bony and wraith like, her features were sharp as if chiseled from stone that someone forgot to smooth and polish the edged of, with a pointed chin and high protruding cheekbones. Her eyes were small and hawklike, holding no warmth in them, the cold hazel orbs dull like frozen dirt. Her hair pulled impossibly tight to her scalp, it was gathered into a bun at the base of her neck, not a single grey streaked strand out of place.

She wore a dark blue dress that button up right under her chin, the corset pulled so tight on her waist it was a wonder she could even breathe.

Apollonia nodded to her daughter, "You may sit, Theadosia."

Worded as a requested; clearly a command. Thea sat down at the seat pulled out for her by their servants.

"Tell me, my dear," her mother began benignly, "How are your studies?"

"They're good, mother," Thea replied, "I'm among the top in my class again."

Apollonia hummed.

"But not  _the_  top, hm?" she asked innocently, delicately sipping from a glass of wine.

Thea felt her face heat, "...No mother."

A man at the head of the table put down his newspaper, brow raised imperiously high.

"Clearly you are not applying yourself enough," said Thea's father.

Roman Mnemosyne stood just under six feet, with thin limbs and spidery hands. His hair was slicked back and cut militant short, a pointed goatee oiled into a point reminiscent of muggle cartoon villains. He wore wire frame glasses over his grey eyes with which he stared over the rim of to regard his daughter.

"We were wise to call you home for Solstice," he remarked, "You can work on your studies until you return to school."

"Yes father," Thea said obediantly, "I will work harder to improve my grades."

"As you should," Roman said, folding his newspaper and tucking it away.

Dinner was served in silence, the house elves who served them quickly vanishing just as fast as they appeared.

Thea dared not look at either of her parents as they ate, keeping her eyes on her own plate, being carefu ot to scrape the china with her silverware.

"You're lucky to be home," Apollonia informed her daughter near the end of the meal.

"Am I?" Thea asked without thinking. She quickly shut her mouth.

Apollonia seemed not to mind her indiscretion, "Yes, we've been invited for dinner at the end of the week. You'll need to be on your best behavior."

"Indeed," Roman added, "We can't have you disgracing our family in front of them, so do mind your manners."

"Who invited us?" Thea asked warily.

Her mother took another long sip of wine before answering, wiping her mouth daintly on her napkin.

Apollonia turned to her daughter, a smile gracing her crimson lips.

"The Malfoys."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bum, bum, bum!
> 
> What do you guys think of Thea's parents? Did they make a good first impression? XD
> 
> For the record Marlene is not a 'slut'. Personally I do not like that term to begin with. Sleeping around doesn't make a woman a slut. If she is safe, finds consenting partners, and takes necessary precautions, she may do as she pleases, as may any man or woman.
> 
> However, if she leads a person on or isn't up front with her intentions about it being a one night thing or casual she is...not a slut...but an asshole.
> 
> Marlene doesn't sleep around per say, but she is very sexually open to snogging and such with others for the fun. She isn't a virgin, but she also doesn't wish to break any hearts so typically she avoids getting too involved with others. However, she is less rational about her principals when drunk so she tends to get affectionate with any guy who seems interested. Mary refers to them as poor blokes, but Marlene wasn't actually targeting anyone who didn't reciprocate.
> 
> That's all for now. Love ya guys!
> 
> Read and review


	47. No Place like Home for the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The holidays begin and fun is had by all...well almost everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The holidays ave started for our heroes!
> 
> Thanks again for the awesome reviews, guys. It really makes my day. Keep them coming!
> 
> Not much to say here, so we'll just get on with the show!

* * *

One fine wintery morning found Severus standing with his first coffee of the day, staring out the Evans's front window in befuddlement. Always an early riser, Severus tended to wake up before most of the family and relish an hour or so of peace and quiet while everyone else still slept. Usually armed with a good book and a strong cup of coffee, he laid claim to the settee by the living room window and watch the neighborhood slowly begin the day.

This morning however, a very odd sight block much of Severus's vision of the outside world.

A gush of cold air swooped into the room from the front hall as the door as someone came inside. Turning his gaze to the living room doorway, Severus raised a brow as a coat yeti trudged into view, a lock of red hair spilling loose from their cap.

"Lily," Severus asked casually, "What is this?"

"Hm?" was Lily's muffled reply, the girl pulling a large wooly scarf away from her face, "What's what?"

"This," Severus reiterated, pointing to the snowy mass obscuring his view of the street, "What is it?"

Lily followed his gaze, a smile breaking out across her face, "Oh that? What else would it be? It's a snowman."

"I can see that," Severus said tonelessly, "But why does it look like me?"

"Because it is you," Lily declared.

The meticulously crafted man of snow resembled Severus as closely as one could with bulky, messy snow. Standing around his height, the shape of the head included his hairstyle, set apart from the rest of the snow by lines drawn in it by a twig or finger to resemble locks of hair. The face bore a set of button eyes in charcoal black. A straight line made of rocks shaped the mouth. Overall it made for a stern faced, unenthused looking snowman.

"Do you think he should be smiling?" Lily asked, hand cupping her chin in thought, "I thought smiling would look out of place. But do you think the neutral look is in character enough? Should he be frowning instead?"

"Let's not focus on that," Severus said, "And instead focus on why…as in, why did you make a snowman of me?"

Lily held her arms out to the side, as though that would help her friend see the big picture, "It's tradition! At least it used to be. Back before Hogwarts, my family would always make our family out of snow. I thought I'd get an early start on my part."

"But why would you make me instead of yourself?" Severus asked, perplexed.

Lily rolled her eyes, "That's how it's done. We each make each other's snowmen. Dad always makes mum's, she makes his, I make Tuney's and she makes mine."

"Still doesn't explain how I'm in the mix," Severus pointed out.

"Because you're family," Lily huffed, "Naturally the order had to change. You'll make mine, mum will makes dad's, dad will make Tuney's and Tuney will make a snowman of mum. That way we're all included."

"I still don't understand why you don't just make your own snowman," Severus said matter of factly.

Lily shot Severus a look of exasperation, "Because it means more to have someone else make you; it lets you see how much they care about you by how much work they put into the snowman. You still haven't told me what you think of yours, by the way." Lily put her hands on her hips, pouting.

Severus put his mug down and stepped closer to the window. The snowman of him had certainly had a fair amount of time spent on it. Looking closely he saw a nose sculpted out of snow, a bridge and nostrils shaped out of the white powder. Fine, individual lines scratched into the snow above each button eye to formed his eyebrows and there was even some contouring on the sides of the face for his cheekbones.

At face value it was still a rather average snowman; nothing that would win awards, but it was clear Lily had put her all in it.

"It's…good," Severus said, honestly not used to giving praise, "Really good. I can tell you worked hard on it. I…I like it."

Lily beamed.

"Perfect!" she cried, clapping her hands together, "Now you can make mine. Come on, get dressed," she demanded, dragging Severus by the arm and out into the hallway. She gave him a playful shove towards the stairs, "Put on something warm. I'm going to grab a quick snack and then wake everyone else up."

Severus climbed the stairs obediently, already hearing Lily puttering around the kitchen humming to herself. In the upstairs hall, he passed Petunia as she exited the bathroom, still half-asleep.

"Heads up," Severus warned her, "Winter Lily is on her way up; says it's snowman time."

Petunia groaned, "We haven't done that in years. Why now?" She trudged back to her room, muttering something about the importance of beauty sleep and annoying little sisters.

Severus entered his room and shut the door behind him. Turning to his wardrobe, he shrugged out of his sleep shirt and set it in the hamper before selecting a gray pullover. Grabbing a pair of lounge pants lined with wool—a hand me down from Hank—he toed off his slippers and kicked them towards his bed. He made a mental note to make his bed later, for now focusing on dressing weather appropriate.

Just as he was tugging on his coat, he heard footsteps racing up the stairs and the sound of something knocking open Petunia's door. Lily was on the move.

"Wake up," she cried from the threshold of her sister's room, "We have to make a snow family."

"Noooo," Petunia could be heard whining, "Snow days mean sleep for University students."

"That's while you're at Uni," Lily point out, amusement creeping into her voice, "On the holidays we play. Now up!"

Something thudded heavily against the floor, followed by a pained groan from Petunia.

"Give me back my blankets," Petunia demanded.

"Not until you get up," was Lily's chipper reply.

Severus heard her skip past his door, heading further down the hall.

"Mum, dad," she called, knocking on their door, "Time to make a snow family."

A pair of muffled, sleepy groans answered her.

Ever the diplomat, Lily already had her bargaining chip at the ready, "There's fresh coffee and cinnamon toast waiting in the kitchen for you."

"I'm up, I'm up," Hank said from within, "Just putting on slippers."

Lily stopped at Severus's door last.

"You better have not crawled into bed, lazy bones," she warned through the door.

"Nope," Severus said, opening the door for her, "Just getting ready."

"Great," Lily smiled broadly at him. She paused, looking him up and down.

"That sweater looks nice on you," she said.

Severus looked down at his attire, "Really? It's just something I snagged from the closet."

Lily nodded, "The color works on you. Makes you look like one of those intellectual types from the University."

"The type with a pair of thin, wire rimmed glasses perched at the end of their nose?" Severus asked with a snort.

Lily giggled, "Don't tease me, I mean it. You look great. The color, the fit, it shows off your muscles so it—" Lily paused her thoughts catching up to her words. Flushing scarlet, she turned on her heel and hurried away.

"See you outside," she called over her shoulder as she ducked into Petunia's room again.

"Get up, Tuney!" was the next thing Severus heard, followed by more whining on Petunia's part.

Severus took one last glance at himself in the mirror. Admiring the tightness of the sweater across his arms and chest, he decided he  _did_  look good, a surge of smug pride welling up inside him as he walked past the room Lily and Petunia were squabbling in.

"Not so ugly now, am I, Potter?" he thought to himself.

 

{page break}

 

"No, daddy, you can't put breasts on my snowwoman!" Petunia cried angrily. She stood in front of her creation, arms outstretched wide to shield it, "We aren't going for anatomically correct. It's just supposed to look like mum."

"Exactly," Mr. Evans defended, "And whenever I used to make your mother's snowwoman, I always complimented her best features."

"That's sick, daddy!" Petunia snapped, refusing to budge. She hurled a snowball at her father, already preparing to throw another.

"Dear, quit being thirteen years old and focus on your own snowman," Mrs. Evans scolded fondly.

"I'll have to make a big mean scowl on this one," Hank said, looking at his rendition of Petunia, "Because she's a big old spoilsport."

"And you're weird!" Petunia shot back, "Mum, put a big weird face on yours."

"This is supposed to be sweet, not vindictive," Lily reminded her family, making some last minute alterations to her Severus snowman; she was never satisfied with her work.

"I think yours is done, Lily," Severus suggested, bemused.

"The chin's still not right," Lily fretted, "Your jawline is more pronounced then this, and your brows…you always look like you're thinking about something important."

Severus sighed, "Lily, its three spheres stacked on top of each other. It's not like you're going to make Michelangelo's David."

Lily huffed, reluctantly stepping away from her snowman, "Fine. How's yours coming along anyway?"

"Almost finished…" Severus mumbled, carefully shaping off the head, "Just need to make some finer adjustments…"

Lily peered around Severus at his work.

"Oh, Sev," she breathed, "It looks wonderful."

Though no artist, Severus had put his heart and soul into making Lily out of snow. Still sporting the three-sphere form of traditional snowmen and snowwomen, Severus has utilized the nearby leaves and twigs sticking up from the snowy ground to accessorize. Drawing indentations around the shoulders and waist, it looked like the Lily snowwoman wore a cardigan decorated with leaves and twigs arranged to look like flowers and butterflies. The head had snow packed heavily onto it to shape Lily's long hair, Severus taking a page from Lily's book and drawing lines in it to represent strands.

Severus paid special attention to crafting Lily's face, smoothing out the sides of her face and indenting the hollow of her cheekbones. He made a small, upturned nose for her and actually carved out her eyes, trying to make them look as real as possible. The mouth curved upwards into a large, happy smile, a cupid's bow shaping an upper lip.

"Sev, I love it!" Lily gushed.

Severus smiled, quite proud of himself, "If we could use magic at home, I would have made one that look exactly like you."

"This is perfect," Lily assured him, "I love the cardigan; it looks just like the one mom bought me last Christmas."

"That was the intent," Severus told her, "I know it's one of your favorites."

"This was really sweet, Sev," Lily said softly, "You really put your all into it."

Severus looked sideways, a faint redness to his cheeks, "I knew this whole thing was important to you; figured I should take it seriously."

"My belly is not that big!" Hank insisted from behind them.

"Unlike some people," Severus added, prompting Lily to giggle.

"Seriously, it isn't that big," Hank repeated.

"It is after all those sweets you've been sneaking from the kitchen," Willow stated, packing snow around the middle of her snowman of her husband.

"If that's how it's going to be…"Hank turned to his eldest daughter, "Pet, add some more snow to your mother's backside. We want accuracy here, right?"

"Scoundrel!" Willow gasped dramatically. She scooped up some snow in her hands and chucked it at her husband.

"Oh, so that's how you want to play it?" Hank asked challengingly, his eyes lighting up with childish glee. He began furiously making his own snowballs, lobbing them one after another at his wife.

Willow squawked as she was bombarded with cold ballistic ammo, shielding herself behind her snowman, "Petunia, defend your mother!"

"Coming, Mum," Petunia leapt to her mother's defense, hurling a snowball of her own at her father.

"This means war!" Hank declared, ramping up his attack.

"And we're the children," Severus said wryly, observing the chaos with amusement.

Lily laughed, "Well, you know what they say, you're as young as you feel."

"I don't think that's quite how the phrase goes—" Severus was cut off by a snowball straight to the face. Startled, he took several hasty steps back, only to trip over a snowbank and into the hedges.

Willow, Petunia, and Hank stood frozen in the yard.

"…Oops," Willow said sheepishly.

"Daddy threw it," Petunia lied.

Hank glared playfully at his daughter, "Did not."

Lily stared down at Severus, the boy attempting to pull himself out of the hedges ineffectively. Turning back to her shame faced family; Lily bent down and carefully gathered some snow into her hands.

"Revenge!" she shouted, pelting a snowball at her sister.

By the time Severus managed to extract himself from the hedges, the front yard had become an all-out winter war.

 

{page break}

 

"Tighter, Coro," Mrs. Mnemosyne demanded, standing behind her daughter at the vanity, "I want that corset tighter."

"Yes, Mistress," the trembling house elf said, her aged, bony fingers pulling on the corset strings with all her might.

Thea let out a gasping breath, bent over the vanity with her hands clenching either side, "I can scarcely breathe, mother."

"No back talk," was her mother's clipped reply, "Beauty is pain." She grabbed her daughter harshly by the chin and applied a dark lipstick to her lips.

' _Then I must be truly beautiful right now,'_  Thea thought ruefully. The dress her mother forced her into was the tightest, somber frock she had ever seen. It button all the way up the neck, making swallowing a challenge and the sleeves constricted her arm movements; she doubted she'd be able to raise her arms past elbow height. The corset compressed her waist so impossibly tight and narrow that it pressed painfully on her ribs and made it difficult to breathe. The entire dress was black and the look completed by toe pinching Victorian style ladies boots.

Rudely dismissing the house elf with an impatient wave of her hand, Mrs. Mnemosyne gathered Thea's long hair in her hands. Carding her thin, spidery fingers through the soft strands, she pulled it all into one hand grabbed the mother of pearl comb sitting on the dresser.

"You must look your best," she stated, running the comb through Thea's hair, "The Malfoy's are a prestigious family; we wouldn't want you embarrassing us all."

Thea winced as the comb's teeth dragged roughly over her scalp, "I would never dream of shaming you, mother."

"See to it that you don't," her mother said sternly. She managed to bring her daughter's thick hair into a tight bun at the back of her head. Reaching down to rummage through the vanity drawer, she pulled out an ornate comb depicting a snake twined around a staff turned on its side. Sticking it carefully into place at the top of Thea's hair bun, she stepped back to survey her handiwork.

"That's as good as it's going to get," she said dismayingly, scrutinizing her child's appearance, "You'll just have to make up for it with perfect manners."

"Yes Mother," Thea said robotically.

"Now come," her mother said, turning on her heel and sending houses elves running in her wake, "You're father is waiting with the Portkey."

With the travel being blissfully short, Thea didn't have to make small talk with her parents, something for which she was eternally grateful. Unfortunately, this also meant they arrived at Malfoy Manor even faster while Thea would have given anything to delay it for as long as possible.

The heavy and ominous wrought iron gate opened on its own as they approached, revealing a long walkway encompassed by low rolling fog.

As they traversed the perfectly manicured lawn, a caw in the distant caught Thea's attention. Turning to her left, she spotted a large white bird with massive, fanned out tail feathers.

"White peacocks," her father observed, "A rather expensive import."

"Only the best for those of noble lineage," he mother added approvingly.

Thea didn't share their sentiments. If you asked her, the ridiculous birds just seemed showy and gaudy; a desperate cry for attention.

A house elf in ragged clothes opened the front door before they reached it, giving a sweeping bow.

"Welcomes, Lord and Lady Mnemosyne," he croaked in a raspy voice, "My Lordship is accepting you." Leading them through the grand entrance and to the left, he brought them to a huge dining room, a roaring fire and a few candelabras the only source of light.

Abraxas Malfoy was a tall, pale man with a narrow build and pointed face. Ever immaculate, his silvery blonde hair was plastered to his scalp with rigid stiffness and his mustache waxed into fine points on either side.

"Roman," he greeted, rising from his seat, "Appollonia. So glad you could come."

"We're happy to be invited," Appollonia said sweetly, extending her hand for Abraxus to kiss, "Your home is simply marvelous."

"Thank you, my wife has excellent taste," Abraxas said proudly, gesturing to a demure woman seated at the table. She barely glanced up at them, treating everyone in the room as if they were not worth her time. Abraxas seemed not to mind.

"And this must be your lovely daughter," Abraxas, said, turning to Thea. His smile was insincere, carrying an oily fakeness that made Thea's skin crawl.

"Yes, this is Theadosia," Appollonia said, almost apologetically, "She recently returned from school for the Holidays."

Abraxas nodded, "Ah yes, Hogwarts. My old alma mater. Good school," he chuckled, "At least it was back when I was there. I'm not so sure now."

"It certainly isn't like it used to be," Roman agreed.

"Indeed," said Abraxas, "Well, sit down. The others shall be here shortly."

' _Others?'_  wondered Thea as she sat down.

"Back straight," Her mother hissed from besides her.

For the next ten minutes, Thea sat listlessly while her parents and their hosts made idle chit chat. It bothered her very little as she preferred to be ignored by her present company. Instead, she busied herself with following the patterns of the table cloths with her eyes, admiring but never touching the plates of fruits and cheeses as her mother said that ladies never snack.

When the doors to the dining room opened again, Thea and her family watched expectantly as Lucius strolled into the room, greeting his parents with the slightest tilt of his head. Following after him was his new wife, Narcissa, who practically floated into the room as her in-laws praised the vision of loveliness she made.

Gently taking his wife by the hand, Lucius led her to a seat a house elf pulled out for her, kissing her knuckles before sitting down beside her.

Thea didn't focus on them for long, as it turned out the young Malfoy and his bride were not alone this evening. Thea watched in horror as Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband Rodolphus strode into the dining room, the former holding her head high and sporting a rather nasty smile.

Rodolphus's younger brother Rabastan followed behind them and suddenly Thea knew exactly why she was here.

Bellatrix flounced over to her seat, which happened to be directly across from Thea. She flashed the frightened girl a sickly sweet smile.

With growing horror, Thea sat ramrod straight as Rabastan took up the seat right next to her.

"Now that we're all here," Abraxas began when everyone was seated, "I'd first like to lead us in a toast, to my son's fortuitous marriage."

"Here, here," the others said, raising their glasses to the couple. Thea followed suit mechanically.

"Truly a perfect match," Appollonia praised, "Such powerful bloodlines. Your children will be blessed."

Lucius preened under the attention while Narcissa blushed coyly.

"Which leads me to our next bit of business," Abraxas went on. He turned to Thea's parents, "Your bloodline is very clean and your family's gift both envied and feared in many circles."

"Abraxas, you flatter us," Appollonia gushed.

"I only state the truth," Abraxas said, "Having your family tied with my own would be most beneficial. Alas, I have but one son, and I'm proud to say he is married to one of the noble house of Black."

Narcissa looked adoringly at Lucius, entwining their fingers.

Bellatrix side eyed her sister's loving display and sneered.

Abraxas nodded to his son and daughter in-law before continuing, "However, with the untimely and unexpected passing of Rodolphus and Rabastan's father—" Bellatrix let out a deranged cackle at that—"Governing the futures of his heirs falls onto his closest allies, the Malfoys and the Blacks. With Rodolphus already having wed the lovely Bellatrix, that just leaves his younger brother Rabastan in need of guidance to a proud and happy future."

He turned to Appollonia and Roman, "I have given your request much thought and council, and in talking it over with his only living family," he glanced at Rodolphus who nodded, "I am pleased to say you are right."

Abraxas gazed at Thea with an appraising eye, "Your daughter would make a most suitable bride for Rabastan."

Appollonia suppressed a squeal of excitement, wringing her hands together eagerly while Roman, Abraxas, and Rodolphus all shook hands.

Thea felt like the floor had fallen out from under her, sitting stunned and staring at Abraxas and her fathers' joined hands as though the gesture was her death sentence.

Rabastan looked thoroughly bored with the whole discussion, twirling his wine around in his glass and sending hexes at the help at random intervals. To him, marrying was just a formality that changed little in his life; all he'd be getting from it was an obedient wife he could push around and an increase in his family fortune. It matter little to him.

He cast a disinterested glance at Thea.

"Is she always this dull?" he asked his brother.

Thea ducked her head down with an embarrassed flush. Nearby, Narcissa giggled meanly.

Someone elbowed Thea sharply in the ribs.

"Try and look happy, for Salazar's sake!" her mother quietly scolded her through gritted teeth.

Across the table, Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed.

"Welcome to the family, little Thea," she said with a wicked grin.

 

{page break}

 

About a half hour after dinner hand concluded, Thea found herself lost in one of the upper floors of Malfoy Manor.

"It's preferable to being with him," Thea thought aloud. Lord Malfoy had suggested she and Rabastan walked the grounds together to give them some time to become acquainted. Though not very keen on the idea, Thea agreed after receiving a steely eye from her mother.

It didn't take long for Rabastan's unusual 'charms' to wear her patience thin. An insufferable braggart, Rabastan spoke very often and listened very little, oftentimes interrupting Thea before she even managed to reply to his questions. His hands had a habit of wandering and Thea had to repeatedly push them away from her backside and put some distance between her and the lech.

More than once Rabastan commented on her looks, rudely comparing her to his more shapely sister-in-law Bellatrix or the fae-like Narcissa. He made it rather clear he felt Thea fell short of them. Being told she was built like a broomstick wasn't what Thea would call flattering.

Eventually, Thea managed to give him the slip by ducking into a servant's quarters while he was admiring a tapestry on the wall. Waiting until he was well out of sight, Thea was quick to retrace their steps in hopes of finding her way back to the dining room. She planned to lie and say she became lost in the vast, impressive estate, the flattery sure to allay any upset at her disappearance.

Alas, her lie ended up being very truthful indeed when she realized after a wrong turn or two that she had no idea where she was anymore. Now she wandered the dark halls of Malfoy Manor in worried confusion.

"The stairs must be around here somewhere," she said, looking around a corner.

Unfortunately, there was nothing at the end of that hallway but a wall.

"Drat," Thea muttered.

Spotting movement out of the corner of her eye, Thea turned to see a house elf watching for from the other end of the hall.

Realizing it had been spotted, the creature let out a panicked squeak and scurried away.

"Wait!" Thea cried out, dashing after the frightened elf, "I need your help."

Running as fast as she could in toe-crushing shoes, Thea rounded a corner to find…a completely vacant hallway.

"But, he was just here," Thea murmured, looking around searchingly, "Where could he have gone so quickly?"

As she was alone, Thea received no answer.

"So I'm still lost," she grumbled, "Great…"

Thea kicked the wall in frustration, cursing under her breath as she stubbed her toe. Distracted by the pain, she hardly noticed a portrait fall off the wall. Falling over sideways, the heavy gilded frame knocked into a vase stand, making a large flower vase fall off it and hit the floor with a clatter, catching Thea's attention.

Perplexed, Thea watched the vase roll across the floor and slammed into the foot of a suit of armor. When it made contact, the armored suit lurched forward slightly, the Polearm in its grasp swinging down and hitting a pedestal holding a crystal ball.

It was with disbelief that Thea watched the crystal ball jettison into the air and knock a painting sideways, causing a segment of the wall to receded and slid open.

"Of all the convoluted," Thea groaned, "You know what? No, just no," she crossed her arms, turning away from the secret passage way, "Whatever secret I'm 'supposed' to find, consider me uninterested. I want nothing to do with this family's secrets. Absolutely nothing!"

"Mistress shouldn't be here!"

Thea whirled around. Standing inside the hidden room was the same house elf she had being pursuing.

The house elf wrung his hands together worriedly.

"You were supposed to find this place," he stated, tugging on his ears, "Dobby was not to let anyone in here. Now Dobby will be punished."

"Only if they find out," Thea assured the frightened creature, "You didn't actually let me in anyway. Trust me, it wasn't my intention to find this place. I just wanted help getting back to the dining room."

She knelt down in front of Dobby, "We can just keep this as our little secret, okay? You didn't show me how to open the door, nor did you bring me inside, so it isn't like you disobeyed anybody. The fault is all on me; and I want nothing to do with this place."

"Then how did you be finding it?" Dobby questioned suspiciously.

Thea sighed, "It's the Mnemosyne family gift; we tend to uncover things that are hidden," she gestured to the room, "Apparently I was 'meant' to find this room. Believe me, though, I didn't come looking for it. This place gives me enough of the keeps without finding Malfoy's dirty little secrets."

"So you is supposed to find secrets?" Dobby asked, his eyes wide. He pulled at his dirty rags, looking up at Thea in renewed interest.

Thea shrugged, "Pretty much? I mean…it's not like I intend to find stuff out. My powers just sort of…do it for me."

"What is you be doing with those secrets?" Dobby asked in wonder.

Again, Thea shrugged, "Most of my family would choose to misuse any information they find, but I don't want to be like them. I hate hurting people."

"So, you is good?" Dobby asked.

Theas smiled, patting Dobby on the head, "I try to be."

Dobby smiled back, seeming to warm up to her.

"Tell you what," Thea began, plucking on of the many ribbons off of her dress, "You look like you could do with some sprucing up. Here," she tugged up a corner of Dobby's pillowcase tunic and pinned the ribbon to the underside of it.

"Sorry I'm not your master, so giving you this won't free you from these people," she continued, "But consider this a gift from your new friend."

Dobby stared in wonder at the ribbon, gazing upon it as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

"Theadosia?" Someone called from around the corner.

"Oh no," Thea fretted, looking at all the things that had fallen over, "They're going to know I found this room."

Dobby snapped his fingers and all the items righted themselves and the room sealed itself shut.

Just then, Lucius Malfoy came around the corner.

“There you are,” he drawled, striding forward, “You disappeared from your walk with Rabastan; we’ve been looking for you.”

He stopped in front of Thea, holding out her winter cloak, “Your parents are ready to leave; I told them I would bring you to them if I found you,” he looked between Thea and the wall containing the hidden room, “I see you’ve found the study…” he observed.

“What?” Thea gasped, feigning confusion. Inside her heart was hammering in her chest, “No, I haven’t found anything.”

“No need to be coy,” Lucius said, tilting the painting, “It’s merely a place for me to have privacy while I see to family affairs and business,” he stepped forward, crowding Thea’s personal space, “It’s not like you found anything…you shouldn’t have.”

Thea shook her head insistently, “Really, I didn’t even know this room was here. I was just lost. This house elf was assisting me in finding my way back to the dining hall.”

Lucius looked down his nose at Dobby, “Is that so?” he sneered, “How…kind of him. I shall have to _reward_ him later.”

Dobby gulped.

“Truly he’s been most helpful,” Thea interjected, “I might have been trapped in some hallway forever if he hadn’t shown up.”

“I’m sure,” Lucius replied evenly, eyeing Thea coldly, “well, you’re found now, let’s return you to your parents.”

He gestured for Thea to start walking. As she moved away, she heard him fiddling in the room and harsh whispers directed at a whimpering Dobby before the sound of the wall sliding shut came again.

“All is set to right, now,” Lucius said, taking a place besides Thea and placing an unwanted hand on the small of Thea’s back to guide her.

Looking over her shoulder, Thea bid a cowering Dobby farewell and followed Lucius down the hall.

“I’m aware you are less than pleased with your marriage arrangements,” Lucius began.

Thea kept her eyes forward, “One is rarely prepared for such a big step at my age, you’ll forgive me surprise at dinner.”

Lucius chuckled, “Oh, I sincerely doubt that was the reason for your reaction. I’d dare say it has less to do with youthful surprised and more to do with where your loyalties lie.”

“Beg pardon?” Thea asked.

“I’m sure you know by now that the Lestranges have some…powerful connections. In the world of…well, let’s call it politics.”

Thea watched Lucius warily.

“They, like me, share similar ideals, ones which our connection seeks to make a reality,” Lucius said, “And it is no secret that you’ve been quite cozy with someone who as of this past summer rather openly opposed those ideals when he got two of my dear friends incarcerated.”

“I-I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Thea denied. She looked around them desperately, “There’s the dining room; I think I can find my way back from here.”

Lucius placed a hand on her arm, freezing her in her tracks.

“I have a message for young Severus,” he told her, “He’s made a grave mistake in turning his back on the cause. One that has…dire consequences. However, we’re nothing if not merciful; there is still use for someone of his caliber. If he ditches the Mudblood perhaps our Lord may let him live.” Patting a terrified Thea on the cheek, he walked past her.

“Do consider where you stand as well,” he called over his shoulder just as he reached the dining room, “After all, a difference of opinion could make your marriage a most unpleasant one.”

He left Thea quaking in the hallway, none the wiser of the small leather book a certain he had slipped into the pocket Thea’s cloak.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the plot thickens!
> 
> So some of you were pretty close to guessing what the intention of the Malfoys was. Indeed it was a marriage contract, but not one for Lucius. Now that Bellatrix and her husband have already made one strong alliance to aid Voldemort, the young Lestrange brother needs a wife of wealthy connects (and useful magical gifts) to further strengthen Voldemort's side. 
> 
> So let the panic begin! Who shall save Thea from her unwanted nuptials?
> 
> Read and review everyone!


	48. Minds and Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus works on uncovering more secrets to the diadem and the mail brings more than just friendly greetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again to regale you all with stories!
> 
> So first things first, thanks for the reviews as usual :)
> 
> In regards to the reviews, it has come to my attention that Dobby betraying his master is rather out of character for him as a terrified house elf who fears punishment. Sure he did it for Harry, but Harry was literally the 'chosen one'; to Dobby that was all the evidence he needed to fully trust Harry would succeed in fixing everything and that Dobby's actions would ultimately have favorable results for the good of wizard and magic kind.
> 
> Thea however, he just met and has no reason to believe is capable of anything. So why would he risk possibly being killed for his betrayal and give her the book when he has no real reason to think she can destroy it or protect others from it.
> 
> So I had to go another route for how the diary got there.
> 
> I kindly ask you all to go back and read the last segment of chapter 47 to see how tings really went down.
> 
> On with the show! (and thank you to my reviewers for helping me work that last chapter out.

* * *

Severus twirled his quill between his fingers, frowning down at the parchment on the table. Christmas was only a few days away and Severus was growing antsy to know more about the mysterious man who cursed the diadem. Severus rarely found himself stumped for so long, so as the months went on since they first found the diadem were becoming increasingly maddening.

He was Severus Snape! Practically a prodigy at school. Usually any question or quandary he had could be solved with his own intellect after a mere week of research and study. So why was this so hard a puzzle to crack?

Learning Occlumency only succeeded in distracting Severus for so long, though he was pleased to find he was making good progress with the subject. While no powerful wizards were around to test his mental defenses against, the basics of Occlumency included schooling one's features and keeping emotions under the surface instead of on the surface. This proved quite useful for Severus after the many embarrassing, fluster run ins with Lily back at school. Being in closer proximity to her at home would have been far more complicated and awkward if he hadn't learned a stronger poker face.

Lily of course expressed some concern over Occlumency, mostly because it was a 'dark' book and it seemed to hold little information in relation to their diadem research. The very fact that he had selected what she deemed questionable material for enjoyment worried Lily.

"I'm just saying," she'd tell him whenever she spied the book, "It doesn't seem like a book teaching you how to lie and hide secrets is a skill good people should want to learn."

"It's spy work, Lily," Severus would defend, "Plenty of Aurors do spy work."

"And I hear they're allowing Aurors to use unforgivables now," Lily pointed out in disapproval, "Can't say I agree with them. And spying is lying, Sev. What do you need to know how to lie better for?"

Severus sighed just thinking about it; he and Lily hashed it out many, many times and it seemed Lily was quiet stuck on the more juvenile reasoning. Lying is wrong, keeping secrets is mean, all her arguments went the same.

It didn't help that Lily already had a very poor opinion of spying and espionage thanks to the media sensations like James Bond. Lily felt the character of Bond was womanizing and underhanded. She despised the overtly sexual use of the female leads as mere props and accessories to heighten Bond's manliness and sex appeal. To her, anyone who thought lying for a living was good business, couldn't be much better than Bond.

Of course Severus wasn't really learning this stuff to dabble in spy work. It was more a matter of keeping himself shit off from prying eyes like Dumbledore. Yes Lily felt keeping secrets was exactly 'nicer' but wasn't it even worse to be the meddling old coot who spied into your very mind and invaded your privacy to uncover them?

There was the added bonus of better controlling his own emotions before he made a fool of himself and exposed his feelings for Lily. Ever since that mortifying night by the library, Severus felt as if he had a big sign on his forehead that said , "I'm in love with Lily Evans," for all the world to see. Considering he had no clue if Lily's recent behavior was because she reciprocated his feelings or was just being nice, he would rather not out himself and risk rejection.

And of course, keeping Severus emotions in check would be preferable to constantly lashing out, being far too familiar with losing his temper and putting his foot in his mouth. He wasn't too keen on repeating that day by the lake and saying something he can't take back. As warranted as his hurt and anger had been that day, he took it out on the one person he swore he would never hurt.

Severus did not want to become his father. He'd witness years of words being flung around meant to cut and wound, of his father's early years of apologies and piss poor excuses, promises that it would never happen again. Severus didn't want to be that man. He didn't want to be ruled by his temper.

Sighing again, Severus focused his attention on the parchment in front of him.

If he really wanted to find out who the caster of such a powerful curse was, Severus would unfortunately have to enlist the help of someone outside their little group. It was doubtful any current student in school would have a clue about the identity of a student from over thirty years ago.

The closest clue Severus got came from Nesme and the entire discovery was coincidental on her part.

 

' _Wait!' Nesme had exclaimed one morning in the library, "If this whole thing occurred between the time Dippet was headmaster and replaced by Dumbledore, do you think it falls around the time of the murder?"_

_Severus stared at Nesme in complete astonishment, "What murder?"_

" _A student died here like thirty to forty years ago," Nesme explained eagerly, "Not surprised you haven't heard of it; they tried to keep it hushed up. Wasn't much of a murder anyway; they say some dark creature a kid let into the school did it," Nesme waved her hands, dismissing her own sidetracked thoughts, "Anyway, there was this prefect who was awarded for uncovering the whole incident. Good thing too, because if they hadn't found who was responsible, they would have closed the school."_

' _Do you just sitting around waiting to divulge potentially useful information?' Severus asked in amazement._

_Nesme grinned cheekily, "I found his name months ago and decided to do a little research on him."_

_Severus looked at her questioningly, 'Found his…'_

' _It's on one of the awards in the trophy case,' Nesme explained, 'The one by Filch's office. Tom Marvolo Riddle, Special Services to the School, 1943.' It's strange though, the clippings I found describe him as some sort of prodigy like he was destine for greatness or something, but then he just sort of dropped off the radar, so to speak."_

' _Nothing on him after that?' Severus inquired._

_Nesme shook her head, "Not really. I even asked Dumbledore about it—figured he would know since he was teaching here at the time—but he was sort of evasive with me. At least, I think he was; he did the usual smile thing and said Tom a 'good student', but he just sort of derailed the conversation and got me wrapped up in a conversation about Pygmy Puffs. Weird, right?'_

_Severus tapped his chin in thought, 'What date was Tom awarded that trophy again?'_

_Nesme screwed up her face in thought, '1943.'_

 

That gave Severus a date to go by, but not much else.

Tom's attendance would put him relatively in the timeframe Severus and Simone had mapped out. If he graduated shortly after that award, he would be within the right span of time to have returned to stash the diadem.

Severus felt dread pool in his stomach thinking about the possible connection; it didn't bode well that their possible candidate for cursing the diadem just happened to go to school during the time someone was killed by a dark creature.

It was plausible that Tom had a relative currently attending Hogwarts, but it wasn't like they could just ask students at random if they were related to a Tom Riddle. As it was, Severus had already search through the magical genealogy books in the library without finding a single family by the name of Riddle. However, Marvolo was surely a name of wizarding origin. That meant Tom was likely a halfblood, which made finding family of his a little more difficult.

Considering they were trying to track down the caster of a dark magic curse on a historical antique, it was probably best not to find family of his and alert them to Severus's snooping.

That left them with little choice other than to ask a teacher. Dumbledore was clearly not an option. His obvious reluctance to discuss whom Tom was set off warning bells in Severus's head. So if he knew that students were searching for information about Tom, Dumbledore may not assume it to be for so innocent a reason as just, "Hey, who's that Tom guy listed in the trophy case?"

If Dumbledore found out Severus and Simone were looking for answers, he'd definitely suspect something was up.

It still probably seemed petty of Severus to want to keep Dumbledore out of the loop, but Severus honestly questioned the trustworthiness of the headmaster. His morals were questionable at best, dubious at worst and Severus himself could attest to that. The years Dumbledore overlooked potentially and outright dangerous actions from the Marauders spoke volumes of how much he was willing to let slide even in the face of endangering other students.

Severus also was sure Dumbledore had known of Mulciber and Avery's alliance with You-Know-Who long before the trial, and yet he had not bothered to expel them to protect the rest of the student body. Who knows who else they may have harmed behind Hogwarts walls and actually managed to obliviate the memory of like they had intended to do to Lily?

Severus just couldn't trust Dumbledore to act with the best interests of the students at heart. Nor could he trust him to be infallible. Yes, Dumbledore was powerful and surely capable of destroying the diadem for them, but that very power that was the problem.

The diadem was surely something that could be misused if it fell into the wrong hands and while Dumbledore boasted noble intentions who was to say he wouldn't be tempted or corrupted by it? What if it twisted his perception the way it tried to do to them? Every man was flawed in some way and Severus frankly didn't want to risk someone as powerful as Dumbledore falling under the diadem's influence.

Therefore, Severus needed a professor who wouldn't suspect anything of his inquiry. Someone who tended not to see the hidden motives in people.

…Maybe not even a professor…

"Hagrid!" Severus exclaimed.

"What was that?" Lily asked, poking her head out of the kitchen where she was making herself a sandwich.

"We should write to Hagrid," Severus elaborated, "He's got to be close to Tom's age; they probably were in school together."

"They may not have been in the same social circles, Sev," Lily pointed out, "He might know very little about the guy."

"Still, if there's a chance he knew Tom, we need to ask. He's naïve enough to not look for deeper meaning behind our asking. He will honestly believe we were just curious."

"He and I did always get along," Lily mused, "Maybe I should write him. He might question why you are writing him; you haven't come to tea in years."

Severus cringed, he'd stopped coming to Hagrid's invites to tea for Lily and him when he and Lily began to drift apart. Things were starting to become tense between them at school, with more arguments than peaceful conversation, so it irked Severus to watch Lily be so at ease and happy around other people. Seeing her be so carefree with Hagrid or her friends while all she ever had for Severus was criticism on his choices had become too much to stand. So eventually, Severus stopped tagging along when she spent time with others. That included Hagrid's tea invites.

"We don't want to just spring the question on him," Severus warned, "It would be weird to contact him out of the blue solely for that reason."

"Then how about I write him and invite him to meet us for tea somewhere?" Lily suggested, "The letter can be the icebreaker and then during tea we could ask him about what things were like when he was a student. We can slip the question about Riddle in during that."

Severus nodded, "Sounds good. Knowing Hagrid, he might let something important slip."

"Scooch over," Lily ordered, sliding into the chair next to Severus. She plucked the quill from his hand and slid the parchment over to herself.

Lily grimaced at the quill, "Why would you use these finicky things when we have perfectly good pens lying around?"

Severus shrugged, "I find them fancier than muggle stationery. More formal."

Lily rolled her eyes but chose not to comment. She penned a quick letter to Hagrid; nothing too long, a few questions about his health and holiday, well wishes to his pets, and the suggestion that they all meet up in Diagon Alley for a bite to eat sometime soon. Lily would invite him to her house, but without a proper wand, Lily wondered how Hagrid would travel about a muggle neighborhood without drawing attention to himself.

"There," Lily announced, signing her name with a flourish, "We can send it with the post when we're with our letters to our friends."

"Speaking of post," Severus gestured to the letters stacked on the edge of the kitchen counter, "Did you get a chance to read all yours? You were sleeping in when the mail came."

"Some of us enjoy late mornings," Lily said, sticking out her tongue. She regarded the pile with distaste, "And yes, I've read them all. Most were from Mary and the other's—Marlene's included a dirty limerick which I will not consent to read aloud—but the others…"

Severus quirked a brow, "What's wrong with the other letters?"

Lily sighed, "They're from Jess and Meldonna. Apparently the two see the need to make me 'see reason' about letting you stay with me." Lily looked guilty to have mentioned anything.

Severus waved off her concerns, "It's no secret those two don't like me."

"Yeah, but they don't even know you enough to not like you," Lily said in exasperation, "They only see what House you're in and it isn't right."

"Prejudice is rarely fair," Severus pointed out.

"But why waste their time and energy on something so petty?" Lily asked, taking the letters back and looking at them in dismay.

"I'm sure Potter has been whispering in their ears," Severus stated, "It's probably eating away at him that I'm in your house right now."

"But he has Jess now," Lily said, "And they seem to have so much more in common. Why would he still care that you and I spend time together?"

"Because he'd be a fool to be over you," Severus said. Eyes widening, he snapped his mouth shut, horrified he'd let that statement slip.

' _So much for Occlumency keeping me from making a fool of myself,'_  he thought bitterly.

Lily stared at Severus with wide eyes, but her friend refused to meet her eyes, staring silently at the adjacent wall.

"Anyway…" Lily began slowly, still a little stunned, "James and Jess are a good match; surely he's seen it by now. I don't think he'd honestly lead her on just to get to me."

"You give him more credit than I do," Severus muttered.

"What was that?" Lily asked.

Severus shook his head, "It's nothing. The point is Potter has always had it out for me. Whether or not he has feelings for you, he'd never want to see me happy and I imagine he's had all he can take of watching me enjoy a decent school year for once. I wouldn't put it past him to try and ruin things for me. Don't be surprised if he starts trying to sway others against me too."

"Still seems like a lot of effort to waste on an old grudge. James doesn't strike me as having the patience to carrying something out like this; it's too much work. Why wouldn't he have just written to me himself? He's had no problem in the past trying to badmouth you in my presence."

"Do not ask me to understand the mind of an imbecile," Severus drawled, "Regardless of who sent them, they're complete and utter bullocks. Of course you can trust me."

"I know that," Lily said, staring down at the letters worriedly, "I just can't get over the idea that someone would go to all this trouble just to come between us."

"That's because you're too optimistic," Severus intoned with a smirk, "You want to find the good in everyone. But some people don't have good in them; just look at Filch."

Lily huffed, "Don't start with that. He's just a tired, old man. I bet it gets exhausting having to clean up after students' messes all the time."

Severus stared at Lily blankly, "Next you're going to tell me dementors are just misunderstood, aren't you?"

"They could be!" at Severus's snickering, Lily slapped his arm, "Hush, you. Why don't you go read your mail? I think I see an envelope of two that you missed."

"It's from Thea," Severus explained, "I figured I'd save it for last in case Simone had snuck any surprises into it. Those two are normally attached at the hip, so it wouldn't surprise me if Simone got a hold of it before it was sent here."

"Well you can't put it off any longer," Lily said, pointing to the owls perched in the kitchen window over the sink, "They're almost rested up and ready to set out again. You might want to get to work on your replies before they leave. I'm going to finish up my sandwich and then write mine all at once…I don't think Jess or Mel will be receiving any replies from me…" she wandered back into the kitchen.

While Lily busied herself in the kitchen, Severus broke the wax seal on Thea's letter and started reading.

 

' _Severus,_

_First, how are you? I sincerely hope your holiday is going well._

_It must be nice to have a break from our House at school and all this divide in politics, right?_

… _I truly do wish I could say the same._

_My parents and I were invited to the Malfoy's for dinner recently. You can imagine how uncomfortable a meal it was for me. I'll spare you the less important details of all that was said—it's of little consequence to you why my parents wanted to meet them—but I fear I must impart a warning to you on behalf of Abraxas's son, Lucius._

_He cornered me before I left to 'ask' that I relay a message to you._

_He wanted you to know that his 'Master' is very displeased about Avery and Mulciber being incarcerated—I doubt he's thrilled that they have most likely been given away information during interrogations since the trial._

_Anyway, Lucius wanted you to know his Master is angry with YOU specifically, that if you do not rejoin them, the consequences will be dire. Very dire._

_I fear they are targeting you, Severus. Lucius mentioned Lily as an incentive for you to join, so whatever they are threatening to do cannot be good. I implore you to proceed with caution from here on out. Try not to go off alone, keep Lily close._

_Severus, whatever you may or may not be thinking, know this: nothing promised by the wicked is ever honored. When Lucius spoke to me, I could see the intent in his eyes; there is little chance he meant any word of that offer. If you return to them, surely you will be made an example of for leaving in the first place._

_I know the temptation to protect Lily and her family is strong, but do not make any rash decisions. You would be better off contacting the Aurors to put wards on the home than joining You-Know-Who on the flimsy promise that your loved ones will be spared._

_Please heed my warning and my advice._

_Forever your friend,_

_Theadosia_

_P.S._

_Iamapparentlyengagedtobemarriedokaybye_

 

Severus screwed up his face, squinting to try to read the mushed, cramped writing at the bottom of the letter. Being in cursive calligraphy, scrunched and slanted—clearly written in a hurry—it was far more difficult to read than he expected.

"She wrote it so small, too," Severus mumbled, peering at the paper.

"What was that, Sev?" Lily asked, returning to the table with a sandwich and some crisps.

"Nothing really," Severus answered, tucking Thea's letter in among his other ones, "Thea was just wishing me happy holidays. Surprisingly, Simone didn't sneak anything into this one; it's just Thea."

"You must be relieved," Lily guessed with a smile, "You really hate it when she jinxes your mail."

"Trust me, I have been checking my letters thoroughly ever since that last one," Severus assured.

Lily pulled out a napkin and placed half of her sandwich and crisps on it, sliding the portion to Severus.

"Eat up and let's get working on our replies," she said merrily.

Severus tried to ignore the hollow feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach as he and Lily ate. He didn't like hiding things from her, but telling her Thea's warning would only cause her undue stress.

Severus cast a glance at Lily, the girl bent over a piece of parchment, scribbling away between bites of her sandwich. She'd probably be furious if she knew he was keeping something so serious from her, but it was for the best.

The last thing she needed after all she had been through was the worry of threats upon her and her family. It wasn't like she herself could do anything about them—they would need an Auror's help—so telling Lily something he could handle discreetly seemed pointless, an unneeded concern on her list of worries.

Severus also wished to avoid any unnecessary arguments from her. Severus knew Lily was trying her best to be open minded about all forms of magic, but there was clearly some hesitance left in her. The fact that Severus had and always will be fascinated by dark magic surely bothered her at least to a small degree.

He grabbed his quill and set about writing some responses to his friends. Trying to push the nagging, guilty feeling aside, he glanced at Lily again.

It was for the best.

Severus didn't need Lily entertaining the idea that he might somehow be tempted back to the Death Eaters in training. There was no cause for concern on his part; he had no intention of working with the likes of Lucius or his precious master ever again, not when their brand of 'politics' bred hatred and depraved thinking like Avery's.

Severus tapped his quill on the parchment, thinking. Perhaps he should heed Thea's advice and contact someone from the ministry?

He could pen a letter to Frank Longbottom. Augusta Longbottom's address would be easy to find and if Frank no longer lived there, she'd probably pass the letter along to her son. The point was Frank was training as an Auror and legally allowed to perform magic anywhere since his graduation. Chances are he knew some handy wards to place over the Evans's home.

Eventually they managed to get all their correspondence done and over with. Lily relented to writing Jess and Meldonna, though the girls would probably be irked that Lily failed to address their concerns and only sent each girl well wishes for the holidays.

"Glad that's over with," Lily sighed, rubbing her cramping wrist, "I swear, I like receiving mail more than sending it. It's almost as much writing as one of our essays. Nesme always sends a novel of everything that pops into her head and Davis likes to drone on about the exam results and then he starts in on subjects they'll likely cover in the next batch of tests. Honestly, replying to all their questions takes forever and then I still have everyone else to reply to!"

"The trick is to have less friends," Severus said wisely, "The less social you are, the less mail you have to reply to. Why do you think I'm an introvert?"

"Honestly I thought it was because you were a sarcastic ass," Lily said smugly.

Severus looked at her deadpanned, "Har-har."

"Aaaaand there's that sarcasm!" Lily said triumphantly.

Severus said nothing, pointedly folding up his letters and tucking them into envelopes. Carefully labeling each one, he got up from the table, taking the remains of his sandwich with him.

"I'm going to tell your mum that you said ass," he said calmly.

"No don't!" Lily cried, leaping out of her chair and lunging for Severus.

Severus side-stepped Lily and sprinted into down the hall in search of Mrs. Evans.

"Get back here!" Lily demanded, "Mum, whatever he tells you, it's a lie."

Lily chased him, through the house, upstairs and down, each time outmaneuvered by surprisingly spry Sev.

"I've spent years dodging hexes from the Marauders," Severus called over his shoulder, "Do you really think I can't outrun you?"

Making the mistake to look behind him as he ran, Severus tripped on the carpet runner in the upstairs hall. He faltered slightly to balance himself and that was all Lily needed to close the gap.

"Gotcha!" she cried, jumping onto Severus's back. The unexpected weight caused Severus to fall over, crashing to the floor.

"I win!" Lily crowed.

"You do realize your mother isn't even home, right?" Severus revealed with a smirk.

Lily gaped, "You tricked me, you prat!"

Severus chuckled.

Lily thumped on Severus back, "It's not funny, you jerk. I honestly thought you were going to rat me out."

Severus tried to wriggle out of Lily's hold, "Come on, you have to admit it was a little funny."

"Yeah…it sort of was," Lily agreed with a smiling, then she went on smacking him, much to Sev's amusement.

Their mirth was cut short by an absolutely scandalized voice.

"What on  _earth_  have you done?!"

Petunia stood over them, her hands on her hips, and an utterly horrified look on her face.

"Just look at the mess you've made," she fumed, pointed to the bits of sandwich crushed into the carpet, "Crumbs! Crumbs everywhere! I would have expected this slothful behavior from you, Lily, but  _you_ ," she pointed at Severus, "I thought you had some manners."

"It was an accident, Tuney," Lily said with an eye roll, "Don't get your knickers in a twist."

That only seemed to incense Petunia more, "And just who is going to clean this mess up?"

"Well normally I'd say whoever made the mess," Lily began, "But…you're so…good at it?"

Severus and Lily ran down the stair, Petunia chasing after them brandishing a dustpan.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, I initially wrote this chapter without Nesme in a flashback revealing the trophy she saw. Before that, I had Severus puzzling out what to do about the mysterious Tom Riddle...and then realized I had never included a segment in any chapter where he even heard that name mentioned. He figures out a former Prefect hid the diadem in the castle, but nothing else. So along came Nesme, finder of useless facts Extraordinaire! This is what happens when you are ten steps (and chapters) ahead of the plot in your brain but not on paper.
> 
> Considering the partner magic to Occlumency is the ability to invade someone's mind, I figure Lily would have some reservations about someone dabbling in the mind arts, despite her effort to be more open minded.
> 
> Read and review lovelies!


	49. Concerns and Conspirators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkness loom in the horizon and well meaning words lead to potential doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, everybody!
> 
> As usual, my deepest gratitude for all your wonderful, helpful reviews. Never feel like you can't ask questions. I will do my best to address them. You guys mean that much to me ;)
> 
> So last week's chapter was pretty mellow all things considered. It certainly was nothing compared to the bombshell dropped on Thea the previous chapter.
> 
> Hopefully some of this chapter will spice things up again.

* * *

Inside the cold, tomb-like Mnenosyne Manor, the house elves were busily cleaning everything from top to bottom as they always did. Starting on the ground floor and working their way up, the elves followed Appollonia's strict floor polishing and dust sweeping routine with near religious dedication. Their Mistress always stressed the importance of the entryway and sitting rooms being cleaned first and foremost—then every four hours—before moving onto the rest of the manor. Her reasoning for such a pattern was simple; any guest, both invited and unexpected, would see the lower portions of the house upon entry and so that must be were good first impressions were made.

While the majority of the elven staff dedicated their time to the meticulous cleansing of the lower floors to sate their Mistress's desire for an immaculate appearance, there was only one house elf assigned to clean her Masters's bedrooms.

As per Appollonia's orders, Heeby would spend hours on her mistress's room, scrubbing the floors until her reflection stared back at her from the marble tile, straightening all the bed pillows and making sure every solidary item on the vanity was in its proper place. She was required to spend the most amount of time on that room specifically, as Appollonia demanded perfection in any room that was graced with her presence. If the Mistress felt Heeby shirked this responsibility in any way, it would be another nick out of her ear. Elves only made that mistake once with Mistress Appollonia.

It was only after the room was spotless and pristine that Heeby could move on to Mast Roman's room on the other end of the hall.

Thea's room was always saved for last. This was partly because her parent's expected the outmost neatness from her and would not tolerate a single mess on her part. She was to keep her room so orderly it scarcely looked like someone lived there. The other reason for cleaning her room last came down to the very fact that no visitors were allowed in Thea's room—all company being designated to the sitting room or foyer—so there was no one to impress up there anyway.

As usual, Heeby reached Thea's room before lunch, when Thea was called for midmorning tea with her mother. It was the first time the girl had left her room since the family visited the Malfoy's, the young heiress falling ill shortly upon returning home. This was hardly surprising to Heeby, as the young Mistress often came down with something when she returned home for holidays. Be it a stomach bug or terrible cold, she'd be too ill to spend time with her parents, residing in her room for days at a time.

This made Thea's parents very cross with her for some reason that Heeby could not understand. They'd leave her be for the most part, but always demanded her presence at dinner. Usually by the third or forth day, Appollonia would finally order her daughter out of confinement and insist she spend time with her parents.

It was strange that the young Mistress did not seem to fall ill while at school or visiting friends, but Heeby was just a simple house elf and did not expect herself to understand wizards much.

Heeby hummed to herself as she flitted about Thea's room. There was very little to actually clean as was to be expected, but what was certainly unexpected was the pile of clothes at the foot of her bed. The elves typically stayed out of Thea's room while she was sick, so it wasn't surprising that laundry had piled up. By the looks of it, Thea had simply shed her evening attire after her dinner out and gone straight to bed without bothering to ensure it made it to the hamper.

"Messy, messy," Heeby tutted to herself, magicking away the discarded clothes. Checking that there was nothing in the hamper, Heeby finished stripping Thea's bed and vanished from the room. She reappeared with a pop in the laundry room, all the family's clothes gathered in three separate piles to be thoroughly cleaned.

"Must finish up before lunch, yes, yes," Heeby said to herself, "Mistress while be wanting a watercress sandwich, very light, very healthy, yes indeed."

Picking up the clothing pile from Thea's room, Heeby pulled out Thea's winter cloak from the tangle of fabric, only to pause when she heard something hit the floor by her feet.

"What's this?" Heeby wondered, plucking the old book off the ground. Examining the cover, Heeby traced her fingers over the engraving on the surface, the name unfamiliar to her.

"Who is Mr. Tom?" Heeby asked aloud, "It be not a school book, no it's not; Heeby did the shopping for books. So what is this?"

She flipped the book open to find the worn pages inside bare.

"Nothing written," she observed, "A notebook? Perhaps a journal? Funny name for a journal."

Heeby looked at the book a few minutes more, before shrugging.

"Who's to say a journal can't have a name?" Heeby dismissed, "Wizards do funny thing, they does. It no business of mine."

She put the book atop the clean linens she planned to make Thea's bed with, then returned to her washing.

"I put it with school things," Heeby said with finality, "That probably where it belong."

 

{page break}

 

Lily groaned as an owl pecked at her window, Jessica's familiar curly handwriting on the top letter in the pile clutched in its beak, "Give it a rest, Jess."

Ever since their first letters, Jess and Meldonna had mailed Lily with surprising regularity. All of their letters contained the same topic: Severus. After she revealed Severus was at her house for Christmas, the two girls had assaulted Lily with a barrage of complaints and concerns, each one relating to some trait or quirk about Severus that somehow made him poor company.

The letters switched back and forth between quoting disparaging comments from others—usually James, and citing past behavior of Severus as evidence that he couldn't be trusted. They cite the typical arguments against befriending a Slytherin; they cannot be trusted, most of them go bad, they always lie, etc, really just about anything to discredit Severus and make him seem worse than he was. They picked at his personality and warned Lily that even if it turned out he wasn't evil, maintaining a friendship with someone so 'unseemly' in their eyes was essentially social suicide.

Their biggest defense against trusting Severus often went back to the incident by the lake in which he called Lily a mudblood. It was clear they were hoping that if they scratched open old wounds enough, Lily would 'see the light'. Of course, Lily had already been over this issue with them many times in school. Yes, it hurt when it happened, but not for the reason they thought it did. Lily had been hurt that Severus would try to hurt her at all, not used to be on the receiving end of his sharp tongue and scathing words. He probably could have made a mean spirited comment about her hair color or her worst subject in school and it would have stung, simply because Severus would have said it intending to hurt.

Looking back on it now, Lily could see her side of their friendship might have been superficial if she had hurt feelings like that before. Friends fought just the same as siblings and spouses after all so the fact that Lily had never managed to push Severus buttons that hard before showed how distant she must have been with him. And while Jess and Mel insisted she had nothing to be sorry for that day—because in their opinion what James had done to Severus was funny—she never should have smiled even the slightest at her friend being mistreated. Truly, they'd both let pettiness get the best of them that day, so Lily had put the past behind her. He forgave her, after all.

Lily begrudgingly took the stack of letters, offering the owl a few treats before letting him hop over to her desk for some rest.

"Let's get this over with," she grumbled, opening Jess's letter first.

Predictable as all the letters proceeding it, Jess continued to parrot back just about everything James had ever said in regards to Severus. She quoted his argument that dark wizards always came from Slytherin, touted his supposed knowledge of the surefire signs of a Death Eater, and listed off dozens of hexes he'd fired off against James and his friends. Of course, Jess was either forgetting or outright ignoring the fact that many of those hexes had been fired in retaliation of her own boyfriend's instigating attacks, but then again, perhaps James hadn't told her that little detail.

"Why don't you think for yourself for once, Jess," Lily muttered, tossing the letter aside.

Picking up Meldonna's letter, Lily resigned herself to more of the same diatribe from her other prideful friend.

The letter started relatively the same; Severus came from bad roots, Slytherins make for terrible friends, Gryfffindors and Slytherins don't mix, so on and so forth. Lily found it irksome that Meldonna would take shots at Severus's background, mostly because she knew for a fact Meldonna knew absolutely nothing about Severus's family. She was assuming he was a Slytherin pureblood and therefore born to a line of dark wizards. Knowing the terrible truth of Severus's homelife, Lily was offended on his behalf that someone would judge him for matters they knew nothing about.

Then again, if Meldonna actually knew Severus's true background, she would probably use that against him too under the claim that if his father was an abusive prick, then surely Severus would be too.

Meldonna's letter continued to list Severus's flaws and shortcomings, picking at his attitude. Truthfully, Meldonna's attitude was no better with how condescending and prejudicial she had become lately. Was judging someone for his or her appearance and unpopularity really any better than judging someone for their bloodline?

Meldonna carried through her speech into a tirade about Severus's housemates and their actions. Lily snorted; it wasn't like Severus was responsible for what they did. That would be like saying all the Gryffindors were accountable for James's and Sirius's pranks. Severus could speak out against his housemates, but it wasn't like he could physically stop them from doing something they shouldn't short of telling a teacher, and that would only heap trouble on him for ratting them out. The particular Slytherins many took issue with in the school were not to sort of people you wanted to cross.

Lily continued reading, expecting the letter to be just as repetitive and bothersome as all the others were, but what Meldonna wrote next caught Lily off guard.

 

_Lily,_

_I know you've surely grown tired of my concerns, but really I'm only doing this because I care about you. You're so trusting and kind to everyone, but that's sure to lead you into trouble one day if you aren't more careful._

_I know you have history with Snape, but you mustn't forget what else he has a history with: Dark Arts. He was OBSESSED with it Lily, more than what was healthy. You voiced your concerns over it many times if you recall. He was fixated on it, hungry for any new bit of knowledge he could get on the subject. Can you honestly say it was solely for a scholastic reason?_

_James told me Snape makes his own spells; who to say they aren't dangerous?_

_You want to see the good in others, that's a noble thing, but not everyone is good, Lily. Snape may put on a kind face for you, but can you really tell me for certain he isn't up to his elbows in dark spells and magic? I doubt he could just turn his interest in it off. Even if he tries to put it behind him, the temptation must still be there. Slytherins are ambitious, HE'S ambitious and we both know You-Know-Who could offer him all sorts of awful secrets and knowledge on the Dark Arts, more than he could ever want._

_I know you are getting sick of hearing from me on this, but please see reason. I only want what's best for you._

_Sincerely,_

_Meldonna_

 

Lily reread that segment several times, lost in thought.

Lily didn't like to admit it, even to herself, but she was still awfully wary about Dark Magic. She'd learned that there were many reasons a spell could be labeled as such and not all reasons were nefarious ones. Some spells were merely defense spells intended for protection that were so destructive and powerful they had been deemed last resorts that the ministry only made rare exceptions for the use of. Others cost too much from the caster themselves, like their blood or part of their life, so the ministry outlawed them to decrease sacrificial deaths.

Still there were plenty of spells that truly were intended to harm others, to torture and kill in brutal fashions. If Severus was only interested in the ones dubbed dark for unique or extenuating purposes that would be fine, but Severus held a fascination for all sorts of dark magic, even the most wicked.

Lily would like to believe it was purely academic, but Severus was far too excited, too enthusiastic about the Dark Arts. Even in their first year, it was the subject he looked forward to the most. The majority of his time in the library back then was spent on researching as much as he could on the subject.

But Lily knew Sev better than that. Didn't she?

He  _was_  spending an awful lot of time reading that Occlumency book. Lily had never even heard of the subject before they found the book, something that was in itself enough to make her wary. How safe could the subject be if it wasn't even covered in school?

Then there was that spell he invented, the one that Avery used against him. He wanted nothing to do with it now, but clearly he'd been intending to use it at some point back then. That was why he made it, right? Lily understood wanting to defend yourself, Merlin knew she understood what it was like to feel cornered, but that spell was capable of murder, a painful one at that.

…And he  _had_  used it at one time, hadn't he? Lily thought back to when James attacked him by the lake. While James was distracted with her, Severus had managed to get a spell in himself. He'd said nothing, but a clean cut sliced itself onto James's face. How much worse would it had been if he'd actually managed to get a direct hit that day?

Lily shook her head. That was the old Severus, the one Hogwarts and all its biased and stupid rivalries had created. He'd been a lonely, angry kid with only her to depend on and the bitterness and resentment had gotten the best of him. He was changing now. Lily saw how much of an effort he made to make up for his actions. Severus was more open now, his patience had improved and he actually did his best to get along with others for her sake. He was making friends! Good ones that he could rely on and trust.

Besides, he was working so hard to find a way to destroy the diadem, something that had been corrupted by some of the foulest dark magic they'd ever come across. Surely that counted for something. If he was still interested in the Dark Arts, it must be a mere hobby by now; he wanted nothing to do with the diadem and his research on it was about getting rid of it rather than utilizing it.

Yes, Severus wasn't the person Mel and Jess made him out to be. If anyone could trust Severus, Lily could.

Satisfied with her conclusion, she stuffed both Jess and Meldonna's letters in the trash bin, not planning to respond this time. Maybe silence would help them get the message.

Heading downstairs, she found Severus with her sister in the sitting room, Petunia practicing the piano while he read a periodical he'd found in the study. Plopping down on the couch next to Severus, Lily plucked the periodical from Severus's hands and placed it on the end table.

"I was reading that," Severus said wryly.

"And now you're not," Lily replied.

Severus snorted, "Cheeky thing."

Lily huffed, slumping against his shoulder, "I'm bored," she whined, "Let's go do something."

"Like what?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow, "If I roll about anymore in the snow, I'm sure to catch pneumonia and die."

"We don't have to play in the snow," Lily offered, though ideally, that had been her first choice, "But we should do something. It's the holiday, let's be festive."

"Is this where muggles start to, how do they say it?" Severus searched his brain, "Deck the halls?"

"We already did that," Petunia pointed out, gesturing to the festively decorated sitting room, "And may I say it came out glorious."

"You would say that seeing as you got to be in charge of what goes where," Lily said dryly.

"Because we're going for a muggle Christmas, Lily," Petunia stated simply, "If we ever go to a wizard neighborhood to celebrate it, you can hang all the fairy lights and floating candles you like."

"At least Sev and I got to choose where we put the tree," Lily grumbled, "Besides, you like magic; why be so muggle now?"

"Simone and Thea have never seen it done the muggle way," Petunia explained, "I went all out this year to ensure they get the full muggle experience when they visit. Besides, it makes me nostalgic; mum and dad always used to decorate it like this when we were little."

Lily smiled, "They did do a pretty nice winter wonderland every year."

Petunia nodded, "And now it's our job. The first step of homemaking, Lily: decorating the home."

Lily bawked, "I'm not even old enough to be thinking about that Tuney. Not even done with school and talking about being a housewife?!"

Petunia shrugged, "Hey, I look forward to being married. Raising kids, hosting dinner parties, cozying by the fire with my husband," she sighed dreamily, "It'll be just like in the movies."

"We've gotten off topic," Severus pointed out, "Lily here appears to be dying of boredom and as I do not want to catch my death outside, what is there for us to do?"

"Ooh, I know!" Petunia said, her eyes lighting up, "We can bake cookies."

"Yeah!" Lily cheered, jumping up from the couch, "We haven't made any gingerbread men yet. And we still need to make fudge."

"And snickerdoodles," Petunia added.

Severus looked between the two girls, "I don't believe I am the baking sort…"

"Nonsense," Petunia said, "It can't be that different than potions. You mixed, you cook, you create; we just get to eat our efforts later."

"It'll be so much fun, Sev," Lily assured, "And you can decorate your own gingerbread."

"Yay," Severus deadpanned.

"Don't be a spoilsport," Petunia scolded, shoving him towards the kitchen, Lily right behind her, "I decorated the house practically on my own—"

"We helped!" Lily cried indignantly.

"—The last you could do is make some Christmas cookies," Petunia finished, "Now grab an apron and bring me the flour."

"Merlin help me," Severus said to the sky, allowing himself to be manhandled into a ridiculous apron with 'Santa's little helper' written on it.

 

{page break}

 

Miles away, a lone figure sat in a darkened room, the only source of light a single fireplace. The flames flickered casting eerie images across the walls, warped and twisted shadows dancing upon the stones. The figure watched the crackling flames in silence, the only sound the tapping of his fingers on the armrests.

A door at the far end of the room opened, a streak of light trailing across the floor from the hall outside. Heels clacked against the floor as a woman with wild, dark hair entered.

When she reached the figure by the fireplace, she dropped to one knee.

"My Lord," she said submissively, her head bowed low, "I am humbled that you choose to stay in my home. Thank you for gracing us with your presence."

"Look at me, Bellatrix," the man demanded in a high, cold voice.

Bellatrix grasped the hem of his robe, bringing it to her lips. Lifting her head, she gazed upon her master is awe and devotion.

"My Lord," she said again, "Our spies in the ministry have reported back to us. They were unsuccessful in getting to Mulciber and Avery; the pair are too heavily guarded. They did managed to gain knowledge of the interrogations. The Aurors have not found any incriminating information from them; no names, no locations."

"They weren't even inducted yet," Voldemort stated disinterestedly, "I wouldn't impart vital information to such those who have yet to prove themselves."

"Of course, my Lord," Bellatrix agreed, "Since they confessed to their own involvement, the pair will be incarcerated in Azkaban. The Ministry plans to move them in a few weeks time."

Voldemort sneered, "The Crouch wishes to make an example of them for the public. The Ministry is flexing its authority to try and dissuade others from joining me."

"They're mad, my Lord," Bellatrix swore angrily, "To even think they can stand up to your power."

Voldemort raised his hand, silencing her, "Those who oppose me will learn their mistake soon enough. As will those who fail me."

It was Bella's turn to sneer, "Avery and Mulciber were fools, throwing away of lifetime of glorious service for some mudboods. They've besmirched your name, spit upon the offer you graciously gave them for a seat in your new world. They deserve to rot in Azkaban."

Voldemort leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers together, "Be that as it may...I would like you to...liberate them..."

"My Lord?" Bellatrix questioned.

"It does not do to have two of my followers imprisoned," Voldemort said carefully, "It gives the ministry and the public an undeserved sense of accomplishment. They think they are besting me; we must remind them of who really has the upper hand. As it is, perhaps imprisonment is two harsh for Avery and Mulciber. After all, it was one mistake. There is no reason they couldn't still serve me...provided they are given the proper...correction."

"You are merciful, my Lord," Bellatrix said reverently, "To grant them a second chance to prove themselves; truly your greatness knows no bounds. You will surely bring us all to glory."

Voldemort laughed, low and mirthless. "Yes, I suppose it is more than they deserve, but every follower of mine has...use to me. Theirs has yet to run out." Reaching into his robes, he withdrew a locket on a golden chain.

He stood up, his movements fluid, yet slow, serpentine, calculating. Approaching the fireplace, he held the locket close to him, watching the light dance across its surface. He caressed the locket thoughtfully, his fingers tracing over the large ornate S on the front.

"Of course," Voldemort went on, "neither of them would be in this predicament if they had better control of their baser instincts and desires. Mingling with filth can only bring misfortune."

"Disgusting," Bellatrix growled, "To even consider touching a filthy mudblood. They should be ashamed!"

"Then again," Voldemort said, bringing Bellatrix's rant to a halt, "Muggles are deceitful creatures, seducing wizards to steal their seed and pollute their bloodline; who can blame two impetuous young boys for being misled."

"Mudboods lust for our power," Bellatrix agreed.

"Besides...they wouldn't have been caught if their escape hadn't been delayed," Voldemort tutted to himself, "He was such a promising one too."

"Snape," Bellatrix snarled, "How dare he turn his back on the cause. That filthy halfblood could have had a part in something great, more than he deserved. I should flay his mudblood whore alive and make him watch before he suffers the same!"

"A novel idea," Voldemort observed, "But let's not be too rash. Young Severus has provided a minor inconvenience, but he is hardly an obstacle. He came from nothing and he craves power, recognition. Eventually he will come back to us."

He turned to Bellatrix, "And if not...then you may show him the...error of his ways."

Bellatrix bowed lowed, her hair falling over her shoulders and dusting the floor, "Thank you, my Lord."

"Now," Voldemort said, approaching Bellatrix. With a single finger under her chin he bid her to rise, "Before you free our dear friends...I have another task for you to complete first."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, Bellatrix is surprisingly difficult for me to write. I mean, her normal level of crazy is fairly easy; the cackling, the baby voices, the immaturity wrapped up in an overwhelming sense of self entitlement. But writing her fanatical, devoted level of crazy is vastly more difficult for me to get out on paper. Maybe it's because most of what we see of her in both book and movie is her interacting with other people besides Voldy. Most of her behavior regarding the Dark Lord is her ranting or raving to someone else about her dedication to Voldemort's cause, rather than many scenes of her directly talking to him. That makes it harder to create a standard behavior for her in his presence. I imagine she would be just short of groveling, but to prideful to ever consider her actions as such. In her eyes, she is honoring his greatness, not belittling herself.
> 
> Some of you were probably wondering why Thea didn't mention the diary in her letter to Severus (I'm actually surprised none of you asked). Well, Thea hasn't exactly...found the blasted thing yet. After her terrible night with the Malfoy's she would have most likely shed her clothes and cloak into an uncharacteristically messy heap in her room and ignored them, wanting to put the evening behind her. And of course, Heeby thinks she's helping by tucking the diary in with Thea's school books...
> 
> read and review people, more is to come!


	50. Gentle Giant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily get some answers from a kind, but bigmouth friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back baby! Woo!
> 
> So I'm uploading this while fighting severe stomach inflammation, so bear with me if the editing is worst than usual (note: the chapter was not written during this stomach problem, but before it started. I'm only suffering through the editing and uploading part). Trying to stick to my schedule, but my chronic stomach problems don't like to schedule themselves for times when I'm not busy.
> 
> Once again, thanks for all the reviews. You guys are awesome.
> 
> Stomach trouble is making a big distraction and ruining my focus, so on with the show.

* * *

Severus looked around the Leaky Cauldron, people watching more or less, as people came and went to Diagon Alley through the back of the inn. Tired parents dragged along young ones for last minute Christmas shopping while spinsters and old crones watched them pass, tutting in disapproval. Haggard bums took advantage of the innkeeper's charitable refuge from the cold and huddled in corners, holding warm cups of tea—a free courtesy of one of the servers—to take the chill off their frigid fingers.

Lonely men smoked and commiserated on lost youth and lost love. One of the wizard interns from Gringotts took up a table with his many books on bank regulations and codes, muttering to himself as he tried to memorize everything for his demanding employers. A middle-aged woman sat at the far end of the bar recanting her love life to a sympathetic barmaid, sobbing into her hot chocolate.

A few drunks were slumped over the bar, bringing an unpleasant sneer to Severus's lips. Drunk already and it was hardly noon. Pathetic.

"There he is!" Lily exclaimed excitedly, dragging Severus's attention away from the barflies and gutter trash at the bar, "Hagrid, over here."

Large and lumbering as ever, Hagrid's smile was impossibly wide as his eyes landed on the two students. Coated in a fresh sprinkling of snow, he shook the flakes off his coat and hair like a dog, accidentally dousing a nearby patron in the winter spray.

'M'sorry," he apologized with chagrin.

With a surprising amount of grace, Hagrid wove his way between the tables in the center of the room and made it to Sev and Lily's table.

"Lily," he boomed, "Good to see you. Pleasant surprise to get your letter, I might add. Dumbledore is usually the only one who writes me over the holidays." He sat down, the chair groaning under his weight, "It's been quite a while since I've seen you, Sev'rus. How have you been, lad?"

"I've been well," Severus replied with genuine friendliness; Hagrid was too well meaning to dislike, "I'm spending the holiday with Lily, actually and we've been having a wonderful time."

"Tha's right," Hagrid recalled, "You live there now, don't ya. Must be nice to staying at a friend's house. Like a big ol' sleepover, ain't it? Not that I know what those are like," he added with a grin, "Most of my friends' houses weren't big enough for the likes of me growing up, I'm afraid."

Severus chuckled, "I imagine you would have needed to make it a camp out instead."

Hagrid laughed, "Indeed! I much prefer the outdoors anyway."

Lily ordered them all some butterbeer while they caught up.

"I have to say, Sev'rus," Hagrid said after a big gulp of his drink, "It's nice to talk with you again. Seems like it's been ages since you last visited my hut with Lily here."

Severus nodded, looking down at his hands, "Yes, that's true. I'm afraid I must apologize for that…I fell in with some rough crowds and I started making some choices that weren't exactly…wise."

Hagrid patted Severus's shoulder, nearly knocking the boy over with his strength, "You're a good lad, Sev'rus. I always knew you'd make the right choice eventually. We're not all what people would make us out to be."

Severus smiled sincerely; this is what he'd always liked about the half giant.

The trio spent a decent amount of time catching up, reminiscing about the past and the various strange animals Hagrid had shown them over the years. He told them stories of when he was a child that made them laugh—the idea of Hagrid being able to pick up his father and put him on the dresser at such a young age was too humorous to imagine.

Hagrid spent a great deal talking about his new puppy, a boarhound named Blue, a female. Apparently the pup's feet were twice the size of her head and she constantly tripped over them when she ran. When she wasn't eating Hagrid's boots, she was chasing his chickens throughout his garden and uprooting all the vegetables. For one so destructive, Hagrid spoke of her with much fondness.

"An' she took my umbrella once," Hagrid added, "Had to chase her round the hut to get it back. And the whole time, the bloody thing is firing off little bits of magic everywhere; turned my favorite chair into a giant turnip!"

"She sounds adorable!" Lily commented with a laugh, "I'm sure you'll have many years of fun with her."

Hagrid nodded, "Oh, I hope to. When she's older, I plan on finding her a nice fella to breed with, get her some puppies. Maybe some of the students will want one, you know?"

"I'm sure people would be happy to have a puppy, Hagrid," Lily agreed.

"Well enough about me," Hagrid concluded, "I could blather on the whole night if you let me. What about you two? What have you been doing to keep yourselves busy?"

"Preparing for Christmas mostly," Severus said, "Lily's sister has had us on cookie baking detail for the past two days."

"We brought you some," Lily said happily, pushing a neatly wrapped parcel across the table to the giant, "They're gingerbread."

"A favorite of mine," Hagrid admitted, genuinely touched by the gift; it left Severus wondered if the poor man didn't get much in the way of presents.

Hagrid opened the parcel and let out a laugh.

"Bless ya, it's one of me," he noted with joy, holding up a gingerbread man larger than the others with a big brown beard of frosting on it, "I almost don't want to it eat, it's so nice."

Lily smiled, "Sev made the body, I decorated it."

Hagrid wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, "Oh, you two are right sweet, you are. I only wish I had something to give you in return."

"There's really no need, Hagrid," Lily assured him.

Severus nodded, "Yes, we didn't do this expecting something in return. This visit is gift enough."

Lily nodded enthusiastically next to him.

Hagrid gave them a watery smile, "So sweet of you," he sniffed. He cleared his throat a few times, dabbing at his eyes with a napkin from the table, "Anyway, what else you been up to? I imagine you don't spend all your time baking."

"True, we make a break for it whenever Petunia isn't looking," Severus said, side eying Lily.

Lily giggled, muffling it with her hand.

"We've been reading a lot," Severus continued, "Enjoying a good book, taking in the sights around town. I'll admit, before this year I never really stopped to appreciate how scenic Cokeworth is. Things were never so quiet at my house; I didn't have much time to sit back and just take in the sight of snow falling."

Hagrid smiled sadly, "You've been through so much, Sev'rus," he looked at Lily in turn, "Both of you. How you've pulled through it all is amazing. You're both stronger than you look, you know," he added sternly, "don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

"Thank you, Hagrid," Lily said graciously, "Really I don't know where I'd be without Severus," she placed her hand over Severus's, squeezing slightly.

Severus gave her hand a gentle squeeze back, "Likewise."

Hagrid looked at the two students admiringly, "A Gryffindor and a Slytherin; truly your friendship is something special."

A server came over and placed a large, mincemeat pie on the table.

"Your usual, Hagrid," the server said.

Hagrid waved the man off with a quick thanks.

"Thought we could all do with some lunch," he told Lily and Severus, giving them each a plate left by the server.

As the pair all tucked into their meal, Severus mulled over how to broach the true reason for their get together. Hagrid certainly seemed relaxed enough, merrily digging into his food and talking with Lily. It seemed like the perfect time to slip Tom Riddle into the conversation now that Hagrid was happy and had his guard down. He'd probably just think it teenage curiosity on their part and be glad to reminisce on his school days.

"So Hagrid…" Severus began nonchalantly, "Do you know our friend Nesme?"

"Nesme Pumperickle?" Hagrid nodded, "Lovely girl. Bit silly, that one, but she means well. I've seen her around the castle helping other's find things they've misplaced. Seems she has a knack for it."

"Yes she does seem to always be discovery something interesting," Severus agreed, "You know, she found something very interesting recently, before we went home for the holidays."

"Did she now?" Hagrid asked, contentedly eating his pie.

"You see, with all the attention I've received since the beginning of last summer, it seems the reason it has so many people perplexed is that I'm a Slytherin. House biased has a lot of students doubting my capability to do the right thing for good hearted reasons, I'm afraid."

"Load of hogwash," Hagrid said dismissively, "The house you're sorted into has nothing to do with your character. There's good folk in all of them. Your mother was a nice enough girl."

"Yes, well," Severus said hesitantly, wishing to not dwell on his mother or apparently happier times for her before he existed, "Anyway, Nesme recently came across a trophy at school that she was very keen in telling me about. Apparently, I am not the only student from Slytherin who ever tried to do the right thing. She said a prefect named Tom Riddle was rewarded for his actions back when you were in school."

Hagrid froze, his fork halfway to his lips. A clouded look came over his face; not stormy, but like the gloomy haze that falls over the land before the rain.

"Hagrid?" Lily prodded gently, "Are you okay?"

Hagrid coughed, clearing his throat.

"Of course," he said evasively, "Just lost in thought."

Severus leaned forward a bit, eying Hagrid carefully, "Hagrid…do you…know Tom Riddle?"

Hagrid looked at Severus with unsureness, clearly uncomfortable.

"What you need to understand about that," he started, "Is that it was all a big misunderstanding. I never hurt nobody, nowhere. I never should have gotten expelled."

Severus blinked, "…what?" This was not what he expected to hear.

Lily gasped, "Hagrid,  _you're_  the student they expelled?"

"I shouldn't have told you that," Hagrid scolded himself.

"But Hagrid, you're the gentlest person there ever was," Severus pointed out in befuddlement, "You wouldn't harm a fly; Filch even has to killed the rodents you feed the Thestrals. Why would anyone accuse you of killing that student?"

"So you know about all that," Hagrid observed grimly, "The attacks, the murder. No, I had nothing to do with them. But Tom thought I did, and there was no convincing the ministry after that."

Lily shook her head disbelievingly, "But why would he think it was you, Hagrid? It makes no sense."

"It wasn't me he thought did it," Hagrid stated, "But he blamed me for how it happened." Hagrid shook his head, "I'm sure he meant well—a prefect looking out for the school, he was—but he had it all wrong. Aragog never hurt anyone; he never even left his box."

Hagrid paused at that moment, realizing what he just said, "I definitely should  _not_  have told you that…"

"Who's Aragog?" Lily questioned.

Hagrid looked away, muttering a good scolding to himself under his breath. Clearly they would need to switch tactics.

"Hagrid, if you say you and this…Aragog are innocent, then we believe you," Severus said.

Hagrid turned to Severus, worry and sadness in his eyes.

"You've never been untruthful in all the time I've known you," Severus continued, "That's why Dumbledore thinks so highly of you, isn't it."

Hagrid smiled in reminiscence, "Albus is a good man. He was the only one who vouched for me when Tom accused me. Gave me a job at Hogwarts, he did; made sure I had some place to go."

"And he did all that because he knows you are a good person who didn't do anything wrong," Severus said carefully, "We believe you, Hagrid, but we would really like to know your side of the story. So much of what happened was unexplained. Can't you tell us what happened, in your words?"

Hagrid remained silent, mulling the request over with severity.

Severus decided to offer the half giant a little leeway. He waved his wand, his silencing spell falling over there table, "No one can hear us now, so let's start off small. Who is Aragog?"

"That might not be the small part of this story," Hagrid muttered, "In lots of ways."

"Okay, smaller still," Severus bargained, "You were not there when the student was murdered, correct?"

Hagrid nodded, "That's right. I was serving detention around the time she was found— accidentally knocked over the defense professor's favorite vase."

"That was when she was found, not actually when she was killed," Severus pointed out, "You weren't near her at all that day?"

"No," Hagrid said, "I barely knew the poor girl; a year above me, she was. I didn't know how long my detention would be—Professor was right sore with me—so I had been in the dungeons most of the morning taking care of…of Aragog…" he stilled seemed a little hesitant to bring this Aragog person up."

"Taking care of?" Lily repeated, "Was he a pet, then?"

Hagrid shrugged, "In a way…he was really more of a friend, really. I just raised him since he was a baby. After my father died, Aragog was like family to me; the only family I had left."

"But what was he?" Severus pressed.

Hagrid swallowed thickly, closing his eyes for a brief moment, "He's an Acromantula…"

It was a terrible time for Severus to have chosen to take a sip of his drink.

Sputtering and coughing, Severus mopped at his face with a napkin while Lily thumped him on the back helpfully.

"An Acromantula?" Severus echoed, in open mouthed horror, "A giant talking spider, that's your idea of a pet?!"

"He's a gentle creature," Hagrid insisted, "Never caused me any harm."

"Please tell me he's not still hidden in the school," Severus begged.

"Of course not," Hagrid said, "I released him into the forest when I was expelled. He was safer there."

"How did you even come across something like that?" Lily asked in awestruck shock.

"A fellow down in Hogsmeade gave him to me as an egg," Hagrid answered, "He didn't seem to know what was inside it, but about a week later out popped Aragog. I raised him in a cupboard in the dungeons."

"And you are certain he wasn't the one responsible for killing that girl?" Severus asked skeptically, "There's no chance he ever got out while you weren't around?"

Hagrid shook his head, "I had that cupboard locked up tighter than Azkaban. Even if he had hands, there's no way Aragog could have opened it from the inside."

"You're certain?" Severus repeated.

"One hundred percent," Hagrid replied solemnly, "Besides, Aragog had no reason to be attacking the students. He was the size of a small dog at the time and they only attack for food unless threatened. Students wouldn't have been on the menu for him with their size; Acromantulas don't go after things bigger than them unless in packs."

"And typically they cocoon and eat their prey after attacking," Severus stated, recalling excerpts from his text books, "Very doubtful it would just bite somebody and then take off."

Hagrid nodded in agreement, "And their bite doesn't do what was happening to the students," he leaned in closer, "They were petrified."

"Petrified?" Lily breathed.

Hagrid nodded again, "Frozen like statues. Acromantula venon doesn't do that. It can paralyze, but that just means you go limp. You're still aware of everything around you; it's what makes a death by an Acromantula so awful. But those students, they were rigid like they'd been turned to stone."

"Did you try explaining this to the authorities," Severus inquired.

Hagrid looked mournfully down at the table, "I tried, but people were so desperate for answers, for a culprit so they could put the matter to rest and reopen the school. Since Aragog was a creature considered dangerous as can be, they felt he was the only logical explanation for the attacks. It didn't seem to matter to them that the facts didn't add up. All that matter was someone was going around claiming to be the Heir of Slytherin and that the Chamber of Secrets was supposedly opened…not sure I should have told you that…"

Severus gaped, "The chamber rumored to have built by Salazar Slytherin himself?  _That's_  what caused all this?"

Hagrid nodded mutely.

"Merlin's toe socks…" Severus breathed in amazement.

"So the girl that died was petrified too?" Lily asked, keeping Severus from going off track.

"No," Hagrid said, "They found her crumpled on the floor like a ragdoll. No poisons or hexes were even identified as the cause; it was just as if the life had simply fallen out of her."

Severus was at a loss, "And there's no way Aragog could have done that?"

Hagrid adamantly shook his head, "There would have been a bite on her; they found nothing. Besides, Aragog couldn't have been near her at the time; poor thing had been terrified to leave his cupboard for weeks."

"Why's that?" Lily asked.

"No clue," Hagrid replied honestly, "He refused to come out of the cupboard when I visited him. Something spooked him, but he'd never tell me what. He said he dared not speak it's name."

Severus and Lily shared a look, knowing this could mean only one thing; there had been something else in the school when the murder happened. Something worse.

"All I know is that it wasn't Aragog who killed that girl," Hagrid finished confidently.

"This is terrible," Lily declared, "You're innocent and it is an outrage that you took the fall for whoever is responsible," she seemed to puff up in anger, "Hagrid, what happened to you was downright wrong. It was unfair, it was terrible…they had no right to blame you when they didn't even have all the facts yet."

"I can't say I blame them," Hagrid said, "What with all that was going on, people were pretty scared. I imagine they wanted answers as soon as possible so that everyone could feel safe again. These were mere children we're talking about; of course people would be up in arms about them getting hurt or worse."

"That doesn't mean they needed to throw you under the bus!" Lily insisted hotly, hands slammed on the table, "Hagrid it was one's student's word against yours. I don't care how respected he was in school, there should have been more investigation into Tom's accusations before they blamed anyone."

"To be fair, they found him with a dangerous animal," Severus pointed out, "It makes sense that they'd jump to the wrong conclusion."

"It doesn't matter," Lily snapped, cowing Severus with a withering glare. She stood up and crossed the table in two quick strides.

"Hagrid," she said, taking the half giant's hand, "You're a sweet, kind man who just wants to see the best in everyone, man or beast. I'm so sorry people didn't believe you."

Hagrid gave her a watery smile, "You're too kind, Lily," he said, choked up with emotion, "If only more people were like you." He enveloped the girl into a crushing hug. From the shaking of his shoulders, it was evident he was crying.

Pulling away finally, he tugged a worn out hanky out of his pocket, blowing his nose.

"Well," he said, "A good cry always works up an appetite," he looked at the two of them, "Who's up for dessert?"

 

{page break}

 

"Sev, are you awake?" came Lily's voice late that night.

Groggily, Severus rolled over so he was facing the door. Squinting his eyes, he managed to make out Lily's face peeking through the crack in the doorframe.

"Can I come in?" Lily asked.

"Sure," Severus said, struggling to sit up. He watched as Lily slipped inside the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Scoot over," Lily told Severus, climbing into the bed with him.

Severus acquiesced, "Did you a nightmare?"

Lily shook her head, "No. I haven't really had too many of them since November. I think I'm getting better at coping with things."

"That's good," Severus said, "My nightmares are lessening too; the ones I still have I feel like I have a little better control over."

"Me too," Lily confessed, "It's like I can fight back now, or remind myself it isn't real. Still upsetting, but I wake up feeling less helpless and more…confident, I guess."

Severus nodded, "So what brings you in here then?"

Lily shrugged, "Nothing really, I guess I just miss our little sleepovers. It was weird sleeping at Hogwarts without you."

Severus smiled, "I missed it too. This room feels like our own little sanctuary now, where we can just relax. It's so much better than being stuck in the dorms with all those prying eyes."

"Tell me about it," Lily griped, squirming in the blankets to get closer, "Some of the girls in my year can be so gossipy. Getting any time to myself is impossible; they're always there, gabbing about who wore a dress better, which guy has the cutest smile."

"And you never got caught up in those discussions," Severus teased.

Lily rolled her eyes, snuggling into her pillow, "As if. I have better things to do than coo over some guy."

"Oh?" Severus asked nonchalantly, "So there isn't anyone who's caught your eye?"

Lily yawned, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"And you didn't think to tell your best friend," Severus asked in mock hurt. Inside, butterflies were waging war in his stomach.

"Why? Are you jealous?" Lily asked playfully.

"I don't know what you mean," Severus denied, refusing to look at her. His face went beat red as Lily snuggled up against him, her head tucking under his chin, "I am merely curious…it's a best friend's prerogative to—"

"Hey Sev?" Lily interrupted.

"Yes?"

The clock on the nightstand hit midnight, letting out twelve soft chimes.

Reaching up to tilted Severus's head down to hers, Lily place a soft, gentle kiss on Severus's lips.

"Merry Christmas Eve," she whispered.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bwahahaha!
> 
> Was it evil to leave it there? I feel like it was a teeny bit evil.
> 
> If you want to know something you're not supposed to know, just ask Hagrid. He'll let it slip. 
> 
> Hope this chapter was to your liking. I've got to go curl in the fetal position around my toilet until this illness passes. Worry not, I'm scheduled to see a specialist in May...I just have to get the guy off the "maybe you're pregnant" idea like every other doctor wants to assume when I complain of bloating and vomiting. Serious, my funhouse has been closed for ages by choice and no bun is in that oven!
> 
> Wish me luck!
> 
> Read and review.


	51. On the Night (Day) Before Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas eve comes with some unexpected surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad to be back people!
> 
> So I'm thrilled with how last chapter went over with you all. You know, I am actually very intrigued by the varying reactions to Hagrid I received on this site and others I post on. People seemed to be split right down the middle on whether Hagrid was in or out of character. Many of you thought he was the canon level of accurate, that his kindness and acceptance of Severus was believable of someone who could find friendship even with giant spiders. Others of you found it out of character for him, mostly due to comments he makes in the books disparaging Slytherins like Draco and even showing his own level of prejudice towards other magical creatures, particularly goblins. 
> 
> You all brought up extremely valid points on both sides, so there is no right or wrong here. Hagrid did have some judgmental, biased moments in canon, while simultaneously being able to find the good in those many believed too dangerous to befriend, like Fluffy and Aragog. I personally think this is a combined result of some inconsistencies in Rowlings writing of the character (constantly contradicting her gentle giant concept), and the fact that Hagrid might be more suspicious and judgmental of people rather than animals because it is people who have judged him unfairly. When you think about it, he has met far more narrow minded people in the wizard world than in the animal world. People characterize him as savage or uncivilized because of his giant heritage, making him misunderstood, something he feels he relates to magical animals. To him, something that appears dangerous is just as likely to be a gentle creature as a person who appears well meaning and kind can be mean spirited and deceitful (cough*Tom Riddle* cough).
> 
> As for his goblin opinion, yeah I've got nothing for that. It's pretty hypocritical of him to write them all off as nasty creatures when he knows what it is like to be generalized by the public for being half giant. Dick move, Hagrid. It's a point that actually inspired my pro-Goblin stance for Simone originally. In many conversations with a friend of mine iheartmwpp, I often mentioned how it seemed counter productive to Hogwarts supposed unity stance to have people like Binns teaching anti-goblin history lessons and even having Hagrid be racist against them. To be honest, I found Hagrid's opinion far more troublesome, because he was literally Harry's gateway to the world of magic and his first introduction included being influenced by Hagrid's biased opinion of a magical race. That's bad teaching right there.
> 
> Anyway, one with the next chapter!

* * *

Lily basked in the warm morning sunlight peering through the window, a contented sigh leaving her lips. The morning always felt different on Christmas Eve, more sentimental somehow, enchanting even. The holiday season in general was coated in a hearty dose of cozy nostalgia, but right before Christmas, it became a blanket of warm memories and contentment, wrapped in a peppermint and pine scent. It invoked feelings of happiness and safety from childhood Christmases spent cuddled with her father by the fire, his deep baritone reciting the  _'Night Before Christmas'_. Truly, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were like no other mornings.

A nonsensical sleepy murmur besides her reminded Lily of another reason this morning was not like others.

Lily rolled onto her side and watched Severus sleep, a fond smile gracing her face. Gently, she traced her finger across his brow, careful not to wake him up.

They'd kissed! She couldn't wait to see how Severus reacted when he woke up.

Smile broadening, Lily studied Severus as he slept.

Severus certainly looked different in his sleep. His face slackened in relaxation, he looked much younger than his sixteen years of age, his brow no longer pinched or his lips pursed in disapproval. During the day Severus oftentimes brandished a stern and humorless expression that would make any schoolteacher proud. It came from years of schooling his face into something neutral and expressionless. This of course was a natural defense he learned from years of being picked on by those who behaved worse if they saw the slightest hint of emotion. Potter was the most guilty of this; he tended to double down on his harassment if he got even the smallest sign that it bothered Severus.

Severus has improved some over the past semester, learning to let his guard down a bit for the small circle of people he had come to trust. A smile here or there, a quiet laugh, made him much more approachable to others and had down wonders for Severus social life. Lily was almost a bit envious of how often their friends flocked to him with invites to peruse the library or walk around the lake.

He was by no means mister rainbows and sunshine, of course; Severus still tended to maintain a prickly outer shell for most of his peers. Only Lily saw him truly at ease, whether it be when he sat shoulder to shoulder with her reading or times like these when he slept. Lily cherished those moments and kept them to herself covetously like a dragon hoarding gold, unwilling to share this side of Severus with the world. Her friends could have 'witty, cheeky, everyone's-friend' Severus; Lily would keep 'Sev, her one and only' to herself.

Lifting Severus arm with the barest of touches, Lily wiggled under it and sidled right up next to him, her head against his chest.

Murmuring in his sleep, Severus unconsciously wrapped his arms around Lily, drawing her in closer and burying his face into her hair. He shifted slightly, entwining this legs together and squeezing Lily tightly as one would a teddy bear.

Lily felt her face go warm. She didn't often wake up before Severus, so she had no idea he was such a cuddly sleeper. Lily found herself plastered against him, the warm of his body seeping in through her nightshirt. Severus's unique scent clung to him, an aroma of spice mixed with the subtle hint of ink, faint under the scent of musk and sweat. Rubbing her nose against Severus's collarbone, Lily ignored how mortified she should feel at finding that palpable concoction intoxicating.

Splaying her fingers against the expanse of Severus woolen nightshirt, Lily marveled at the firmness of his chest, the pronouncement of his muscles. She knew Severus had a slight physique despite his lack of athletics, but being so close to him now it dawn on Lily just how in shape he actually was. It didn't help that he tended to dress in layers, and loose fitting clothes, a habit picked up from years of masking his neglect and malnutrition from prying eyes. While of decent height, Severus always gave the impression that he was hopelessly gangly under his shirts and robes, his spider-like manner of skittering around unseen and his surprisingly slender wrists making many assume him mostly skin and bones.

But this, Lily thought as she smoothed her hands over his chest and down his arms, this was a nice surprise. Severus lacked the thick, corded muscles of the dedicated Quidditch player, but there was a hidden strength in his body, something wound up tightly just beneath the skin. A practiced restraint gave Severus that fragile, delicate appearance, Lily realized; the true Severus Snape hiding a controlled and precise power only few had the privilege to see.

Lily squeezed Severus biceps, a girlish giddiness rising up inside her at the fortunate opportunity to explore in a way Severus probably allow in his waking hours. She reveled in the delightedly firm heat emanating from Severus body, the secure yet tender feel of him wrapped around her smaller frame.

Severus sighed in his sleep, one of his legs slipping between Lily's as he snuggled closer. He shifted slightly forward, hips slotting into a more comfortable position and Lily was suddenly very aware of a certain part of Severus's anatomy.

Lily blushed; as close as she was to Severus, as much as her feelings for him had grown on the romantic side, she sometimes forgot he had one of  _those_. Ironic really, considering Severus's very bodily reaction to her that night by the library was the very catalyst to her investigation into whether she felt anything beyond friendship for him.

Lily had tried to separate herself from the awareness of that part of men after Avery attacked her. It had been a weapon the brute sought to use against her and so Lily distance herself from the concept of the male anatomy. It was mostly a means of coping with trauma and helping her still maintain friendships with those of the opposite sex. She sought to draw a fine line between people like Severus and Remus and the likes of Avery. To a degree she had stopped seeing them as boys, seeking to leave no difference between them and her female friends whom she felt unthreatened by the anatomy of.

Therefore, the occasional reminder of Severus's sex could oftentimes catch Lily by surprise. Yet, it wasn't an unpleasant one like she once imagined it might be.

Perplexed by her own rationale, Lily couldn't figure out for the life of her why she didn't feel threatened or uneasy with Severus's arousal. In fact, for some indiscernible reason, she felt the tiniest bit of flattery rise up in her, preening at how she drew out such responses from him. This mystified her in ways she couldn't fathom.

Seeing as it was so early in the morning, however, Lily wasn't going to waste time fretting on the why and how of it.

Feeling a rush of boldness overtake her, Lily shuffled closer, allowing where her leg met hip to rub against Severus's hardness.

The result was near instantaneous; Severus mumbled something that could have been a moan, his hips rocking back and forth just a little before going still again.

Lily bit back a giggle, a heady dizziness sweeping over her. It felt like a flock of Cornish Pixies was running rampant in her stomach. Tucking closer to Severus, nuzzled his neck fondly, a swelling of pride and joy residing deep within her.

Things would surely change between them now; a kiss was no small thing. Lily could only wonder what the future held for them. Her mind filled with thoughts of handholding, walks through the park at sunset, whispered sweet words in private. She pictured going to the movies together or having a picnic lunch by the seaside, a book in her hand and Severus's head resting in her lap as they listened to the calming sound of the lapping waves in the ocean.

So many possibilities of where this could go and Lily was excited to see just where life would take them.

 

{page break}

 

Lily stepped out of Severus's room quietly, carefully shutting the door closed behind her. After about an hour of lazing about cuddling, Lily knew it was time for her to get to her own room before her parents came to wake them both up. Last thing she needed was to explain why she was in a sixteen year old boy's bed.

Severus hadn't woken even the slightest when Lily slid out of bed. Normally Severus was an early riser, up before his alarm and getting ready for the day. It might have been just common practice for him at this point; Severus told her that he had learned to wake up before his parents in order to be out of the house before his father awoke. When he came to Hogwarts, that practice proved practical; the boys in his dorm were nasty folk even when he still associated with them so it was better to be gone before they got up in the morning. Therefore, Severus never really stayed asleep past sunrise, nor did he sleep heavy; it just wasn't wise around those up to no good.

For some reason though, he was now sleeping like the dead, a look of complete peace and restfulness upon his face as he snuggled deeper into the covers, clinging tightly to the pillow Lily had put in his arms in place of herself. He looked so at ease and happy, completely trusting of his surroundings and allowing himself some vulnerability.

Lily grinned, leaning back against Severus door; she'd like to think it was her who put that smile on his sleeping face.

"Lily?" a voice intruded, startling Lily.

Willow stood at the top of the stairs, having come up from the kitchen, presumably to wake the rest of the family.

"What are you doing up?" Willow questioned.

"I was…just coming to see if Severus was up," Lily lied, realizing her hand was still on the knob to Severus's door, "I've been awake a while and I got bored of waiting around for him."

Willow nodded, not seeming to find anything suspicious in that statement, "Yes…I suppose it would be best to wake him up…I was just coming to fetch you all." There was something off about her voice, something sad, lost.

"Mum?" Lily prompted, taking a closer look at her mother. Normally up later than her husband, Willow was fully dressed this morning, though it didn't appear much effort was put into her appearance. Her hair was half brushed and her blouse tucked in only on one side, her socks not matching. There were bags under her eyes and an overall haunted expression encompassed her face.

"Mum, are you alright?" Lily tried again, "What's wrong."

Willow shook her head, "It's nothing…I mean it is, I just," she shook her head again, looking at Lily sadly, "Could you wake up Severus and tell him that your father and I need to speak with him? It's rather important."

"O…kay," Lily said hesitantly, "Is everything alright?"

"Just…I'll see you downstairs in a minute," Willow quickly turned around and headed back down the stairs.

Perplexed, Lily reentered Severus's room and went over to wake him. Placing a hand on Severus's shoulder, Lily gently shook him.

"Sev," she whispered, "It's time to wake up."

Severus groaned softly, managing to open his eyes a crack to blearily look up at Lily. When he saw who it was, a small smile spread across his face.

"Hi," he said a tad dreamily.

Lily smiled tenderly back, "Hi," she greeted, "Mum wants us downstairs for breakfast. She said there's something she needs to talk about."

Severus's eyes widen, "She didn't find you in here, did she?" he asked in alarm, scrambling up into a sitting position.

"No," Lily assured him, "I was already out of here when she came up to wake me. I think it's something else…she looked sad more than upset."

"Well that's good," Severus mumbled, swinging his legs off the bed, "Not that your mom is sad, I mean, I just meant I'm glad she didn't find us," Severus chuckled nervously, "I doubt I'd be allowed to stay here anymore if she found you in my bed."

Lily rolled her eyes, "My parents wouldn't kick you out, Sev. Put a lock on both our doors, maybe, but never kick you out."

"Both our doors," Severus repeated, "Are you saying that they'd have to worry about you trying to sneak around to see me as well?"

Lily leaned down, giving Severus a quick peck on the lips, "What do you think?"

She went to pull away only to have Severus draw her back in for another kiss, this one softer, lingering tenderly. It sent a fluttering through Lily's chest and made her stomach flip.

Pulling away, Severus stroked his thumb against Lily's cheek.

"So this is new," he said after a moment's pause.

"Indeed it is," Lily agreed, "Can't say I dislike where things are headed."

"And just where are things headed?" Severus asked teasingly.

Lily kissed him on the nose, "How about we figure that out  _after_  we see what mum and dad want, hm?"

Severus sat back with a sigh, "I suppose it would be best to get down there before they come looking for us."

Grabbing his robe off the hook on the back of the door, Severus slide on his slippers and padded downstairs to the breakfast table, Lily in tow.

It was oddly silent when the two of them got there. Normally there would be lively chatter and the clinking of cutlery on plates as the family tucked into a deliciously crafted breakfast.

This morning however, everyone was uncharacteristically reserved. There was no idle chit-chat, no rustling of the morning paper or forks tapping upon plates of eggs and hash. Instead, a modest stack of dried toast sat in the middle of the table with a half-empty jar of jam besides it. Hank sat at the table sans newspaper, lightly drumming his fingers on the table in discomfort. Petunia looked at the tablecloth, an awkward mix between sadness and confliction on her face as she slowly stirred her tea.

Willow sat at the head of the table staring blankly into space, a cup of tea that had long grown cold clasped between her hands.

"Uh…what's going on?" Lily asked nervously.

"Oh," Snapping out of her stupor, Willow beckon the pair into a set of chairs opposite her at the table, "Sit down you two; there's something we need to tell you."

Hank looked to his eldest daughter, noticing her discomfort, "You may be excused if you like, dear."

"No," Willow cut him off firmly, "We're a family; we deal with this together."

Severus and Lily exchanged worried looks.

"Are we in trouble?" Severus ventured carefully.

"Yeah, did we do something wrong?" Lily asked.

Willow shook her head, "No, nothing like that, dear. It's just…well…something happened last night and it's important you know about it…rather than read about it in the paper tomorrow."

"The paper?" Severus questioned, "about last night?"

"Early this morning technically," Hank said. He took his wife's hand in his own, taking over the story for her, "You see, Severus, we received a call from the police…"

Severus held his breath, a million scenarios running through his head. Was he being accused of something? He hadn't been anywhere particularly questionable recently. Did something happen to his mother?

A wave of panic washed over Severus; please let his mother be okay.

Hank sat silent for a long time, unsure how to proceed.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Severus," he began, "But…well, your father passed away in prison sometime last night."

Severus stared blankly at Hank, trying to process things.

"What?" Lily gasped, "How?"

"It has yet to be determined," Willow explained, "Apparently a guard went to do a final check of that wing and found he had," she glanced at Severus before continuing delicately, "Passed on. There's no sign of foul play, but so far they haven't a clue what happened."

Severus nodded mutely, still taking it in.

"Severus," Hank prodded, looking at the stoic young man in concern, "Are you alright, son?"

"Sev?" Lily asked when the boy didn't respond. Worriedly, she wrapped an arm around him, brushing some hair away from his face.

Willow reached across the table and grabbed Severus hand, "I know things were never right with your father, but he was still your parent. It's completely understandable if you feel upset, Severus."

Severus shrugged, "I don't really feel much of anything, really," he admitted, "The man had never been a father to me, let alone a decent person. I guess I'm relieved, if anything? I mean, sure it's a shame he died alone in hail, but I had always known they couldn't keep him locked up forever…and to be honest, I dreaded my mother doing something foolish like taking him back. So…I guess it's all for the best…"

He looked around the table, unsure, "Is that bad? That I don't really care?"

"Of course not, sweetie," Willow assured, giving Severus's hand a comforting squeeze, "You've been through so much because of him; there's nothing wrong with having mixed feelings over this."

"You aren't obligated to mourn someone, Severus," Hank said kindly, "Especially someone who doesn't deserve it. Don't think you need to work up a tear for a man who treated you so poorly."

"Good riddance, I say," Petunia muttered, "The world's a little bit better without him."

"Petunia," Willow admonished.

"Mom, that man almost killed him," Petunia said hotly, pointing at Severus, "You can almost still see the hand marks around his neck! Did we really want a dangerous man like that back on the streets someday?"

Lily didn't say anything but she had a good feeling her sister was right.

"It's never nice to speak ill of the dead, Petunia," her mother argued pointedly.

"Even when they deserved it?" Petunia challenged. She sniffed disdainfully, "That man was a low life, good for nothing; a drunk and a thug. Spinner's End was chalk full of bad eggs like him. I hardly see why he should get any pity in the afterlife."

"Still…" Willow weakly tried to dispute. She turned her attention back to Severus, "Are you sure you're okay, honey?"

Severus nodded slowly, "Honestly I'm just glad I'll never see him again. Would have been fine with him spending life behind bars, but if they can't make that happen, this is probably best all things considered. I'm just…not sure how to feel."

"Of course it is," Willow agreed, getting up to come and give him a hug, "The news is still fresh. Just sit on it a while and see how you feel then. No one is pressuring you to do anything one way or the other."

"Here," she continued, piling some toast onto his plate, "You should eat something."

Severus toyed with the end of one of his toast slices thoughtfully, "I need to see my mother," he said finally, "I'm not sure how she's going to take the news…they didn't get along, but she never seemed to hate him enough to leave. This might…upset her."

"Eat some breakfast first," Willow urged in a motherly tone, "Then we'll drive you over to see your mother."

"If it's all the same to you, Mrs. Evans," Severus said politely, "I'd rather walk; it'll give me some time to think."

"I'll go with you," Lily said quickly.

"You really don't need to, Lily," Severus rebutted, "It's not the best neighbor for you to be in."

Lily fixed Severus with a hard stare, "Sev,  _I'm going_ ," she said firmly, "You shouldn't be alone right now."

Severus sighed, knowing there would be no talking her out of this and too tired to even try, "Fine."

Lily entwined her hand with Severus's under the table, giving it a little squeeze.

 

{page break}

 

The walk to Spinner's End was a silent one, the only sound the crunching of snow beneath Lily and Severus's boots as the trudged down the sidewalk.

Whisperingly dubbed the 'bad side of town', Spinner's End was normally quiet in the mornings, most of its residents blacked out from drinking their unemployment money away the night before, lacking jobs to go to in the morning like regular folk. Those who weren't passed out made little noise either, typically battered housewives and children and the occasional beaten husband tip toeing around their abodes in a desperate effort to not awake the drunken dragons of their homes and getting another batch of bruises.

It was an experience Severus knew all too well; many summers he and his mother crept around the house like mice, scurrying past Tobias's prone and drooling form on the sofa. Sometimes Tobias didn't make it as far as the couch; sometimes he would barely get inside the house before he collapsed, blocking the front door. Times like those were the hardest for Severus, as he normally liked to sneak out long before Tobias sobered up.

With the front door blocked by the bastard's dead weight and the back door notorious for a loud and unbearable squeaky hinge, Severus would have to resort to difference methods of escape. He still bore a scar on the inside of his elbow from the time he fell from the old, rotten trellis resting against the house beneath his window.

Lily tried to eye Severus from her peripheral, not wanting to be caught sneaking glances at him. He'd been so quiet since they departed from home, having barely said a word to her once they set off. Lily knew Severus was a private person who tended to prefer keeping matters to himself, but she really wished Severus would open up to her. It couldn't be easy to lose a parent, much less one you had so much unfinished business with.

Lily knew Severus probably told himself he'd wiped his hands clean of his father long ago, but it wouldn't be surprising if he felt a little…cheated by Tobias's sudden death. He never got to confront the man, to throw all Tobias's wrongdoings at his feet and demand an apology, or at least see some regret in that man's eyes. Severus tried to act as if he had nothing left to say to his father, but Lily knew the truth; he wanted answers. He wanted to know why? Why him, why his mother? Severus wanted to know what sort of darkness could lurk in a man's heart to make him take all his anger out on the two people who should have been able to trust him most. So many questions that Severus wanted to ask of the man who made his life hell and now he'd never get the chance. In Severus eyes, he must have seen death as Tobias getting off easy for what should have been a life sentence for his crimes.

Eileen hadn't treated Severus much better, but at least Severus could see her rationale. It was a jealous, a projection, the need to lord over someone else in order to feel less powerless and afraid of the abuse inflicted on her by her husband. Tobias however, what was his reasoning? Could it really be so simple an answer as he was just a terrible person?

Lily glanced at Severus again before dropping her gaze to the boy's hand hanging limply at his side. She wanted to hold his hand, but wasn't sure if now was the right time. What did all this mean for them? Would Severus still want to pursue something with her, or was it too soon to ask? As a possible girlfriend Lily figured she should hold his hand to let him know he wasn't alone, but for all she knew that was too presumptuous.

Then again, if she didn't hold his hand, and he  _wanted_  her to, would Severus take that as a sign that Lily had changed her mind? Even as just friends they often held hands in times of stress or upset, but whenever things got well and truly bad, Sever tended to shy away from sympathy, thinking it an implication that he was weak. Regardless, Severus was facing some very big changes in his life now that the very first tormentor of his childhood had passed away. His greatest concerns were for his mother, who for whatever reason seemed to love that man she called husband.

Severus didn't need to be burdened with trivial teenage feelings while facing something so serious as his father's death. Lily cringed inwardly; it probably made her very selfish to be worrying about their relationship when Severus had bigger things to worry about.

Lily was so caught up in her own dizzying thoughts that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt someone take her by the hand. Looking to her side, she was surprised to see Severus lacing his fingers with hers.

"Thank you for coming with me," he said quietly, not turning to look at her. Instead, he kept his eyes straight ahead, focused on the familiar house looming at the very end of the street, "I know I made a fuss about you coming along, but it is probably for the best that you're with me. I'm not…great at dealing with my mother. Might be nice to have someone more careful with their words there to keep me from making things worse. You tend to make me…feel a little better when I'm stressed."

They were such bumbling words and poorly crafted gratitude that from anyone else it would have offended Lily. Here she was traipsing around an unsavory part of town walking into god knows what sort of drama and the thanks she got was that she may be useful to have around? If Potter had said it she probably would have taken offense, maybe even stormed off.

It was different with Severus, however. Years of being in the aloof and distant boy's presence had trained Lily to read between the lines. Rarely a man capable of stating exactly how he felt, Severus usually kept his words vague, choosing to let others interpret, as they will. When he said Lily's presence could help with his mother, he meant was glad she hadn't let him face this alone. A noncommittal suggestion of her usefulness was Sev's way of saying he needed her and couldn't have done this by himself and that meant the world to Lily.

Funny, when Severus was evasive and careful with his wording Lily could pick the meaning out in a heartbeat, but when he tried to outright say what was on his mind, they always tended to have a misunderstanding. Maybe half their fights at school could have been avoided if Severus had stuck to being less direct. How odd.

Lily stepped closer to Severus, the pair shoulder to shoulder as they walked, "You've never let me face anything alone, Sev, even when I insisted I could handle myself. Why would I abandon you when you need me?"

Severus shrugged, "I'm just not used to having backup when it comes to my family. It's a strange feeling."

Lily smiled sadly, "You don't have to worry about that ever again."

The corner of Severus's mouth twitched into a slight, if not somber, smile, but whatever he wanted to say next was lost as his attention became captured by something up ahead of them.

"The rats are stirring," he whispered cryptically, sliding his hand out of Lily's grip to draw her in closer by the waist instead, "Keep your wits about you."

A man stumbling home from possible a drunken bender in the park passed them on the sidewalk, his foot catching on the curb and nearly sending him nose first to the payment. He looked at them as he righted himself, squinting blearily at them.

"You're not Ralphie," he muttered to himself. He stumbled away, asking aloud, "Where the hell's that bugger gone off to now?"

A door a few houses down opened up to reveal the face of a skinny, bulging eyed old woman. She peered at them through the crack in her door before snaking a hand out to grab her morning paper. The door closed again and the sound of multiple locks sliding into place could be heard.

Another door swung open with a bang nearby as a harried woman emerged. She carried in her arms hastily packed bags and even a rubbish bag haphazardly filled with clothes, resting atop her pregnant stomach. A small girl with mismatched shoes clung to her free hand.

"We aren't coming back this time," the woman declared angrily over her shoulder, "Mark my words, this is the last time you'll see us."

"You always say that, you stupid bint," came a slurred voice from within the house, "But I'll see you come crawling back this time tomorrow!"

Lily opened her mouth to say something as the woman passed, but Severus tugged her away.

"Won't do you any good," he explained softly and with a hint of bitterness to his tone, "She never listens to anyone; she'll be back tomorrow and anything you said to her about leaving for good will just be used to throw you under the bus so that her husband will be mad at someone else for a change. Trust me, I know."

Severus guided Lily by some benches, out of which a passed out man who reeked of ashtrays and beer bottles hiccupped and lurched up into a sitting position.

"Get out of my house!" he barked fiercely.

"That's public property, Arnold," Severus shot back crossly, an arm wrapped protectively around Lily as he led her away; "You're drunk. Go home!"

"Feh," the man spat, waving dismissively at Severus. He fell back onto the bench, rolling over to retch off the side.

"Lovely people," Severus said sarcastically.

Just as they were nearing the end of the street, passing one of the skinny outlets of the river, Lily jumped back with a yelp as a person sprung up like a jack in the box from a pile of rubbish besides the dumpster.

"Sev'rus!" said a sallow skinned woman with tangled, messy hair.

Severus tipped his head towards her politely, "Gwen."

Gwen smiled, her mouth an array of mismatched, yellow and browning teeth. The front top two were missing.

"Haven't seen you in ages," she said merrily, "Off to school again, I take it. Good on you lad; education is important." She dusted off her clothes, which Lily realized were made up of rags and torn blankets, shoes made of newspaper on her feet.

"Indeed," Severus agreed, his voice considerably kinder to Gwen than anyone else on the street. Were they friends? "You've been doing well, I take it?"

Gwen nodded, "Can't complain; still got my health, don't I?" She turned to Lily, noticing the girl for the first time, "And who's this vision of lovely? Why, she's pretty enough to me on money."

"This is Lily," Severus introduced, "I've been staying with her since summer."

"Nice to meet you," Lily greeted hesitantly.

Gwen studied Lily carefully, while Lily did the same. The woman couldn't have been much older than Lily and Severus, yet her skin was wrinkled and worn, her hands boney and thin like an old woman's. There were dark circles under her eyes and a cut across one cheek.

Satisfied with her inspection, Gwen grinned, "Staying with her, eh? Found yourself a keeper, did you, Sev'rus? I knew you would. Didn't I always tell you, there's someone out there for everybody? Didn't I?"

"You did," Severus replied kindly.

"You haven't perused my wares in a while," Gwen said suddenly, ducking back towards the dumpster. She shuffled around under a lean-to complied of blankets, sticks, and cardboard boxes and Lily realized with mute shock that it was Gwen's home.

Gwen hobbled back over, a box tucked under one arm.

"Made some more hats," she declared proudly, presenting them with a pirate hat clumsily made out of tinfoil.

"Been weaving again too," Gwen added, lifting up what might have been a potholder woven together out of strips of fabric. She showed them a ring of soda tabs, "Bracelets too. You reckon you'll buy one?"

"Oh," Lily said awkwardly, glancing at the assortment of used trash crafts, "Well I don't really need anything at the moment…how about I just give you the money and—"

"We'll take two bracelets," Severus said, cutting Lily off. He pushed a small handful of coins into Gwen's hand.

"Bless you both," Gwen said in her best customer service voice, handing Severus the bracelets, "And a lovely day to you."

"Same to you, Gwen," Severus said as he and Lily walked away.

"Why didn't you just give her some money, Sev?" Lily asked curiously, "You didn't need to buy anything."

"It's probably hard for you to understand, Lily," Severus replied, "You've never been in her shoes. It's a hard life when you are literally scraping by."

Severus looked away, a sad smile on his face, "She makes things because she doesn't want to feel worthless. She wants to know she is earning her way, not living off other's pity. She still has her pride, Lily; I'm not going to insults her by giving her handouts."

Unable to take the lost, unhappy expression on Severus's face, Lily clung to his side, her face tucked against his neck as she hugged him.

Lily had come to think she had a decent understanding of Severus's life over the years. The abuse, the beatings, those didn't stay secret from Lily for long. Even Severus's clothes over the years were a good implication of how his family struggled. But there was more to it than that.

Looking around at the slums of Sev's neighborhood, there was a resilience, a stubborn insistence to make it on one's own or die trying. People at the end of their ropes still trying to maintain that they are human and deserving of respect, that bad or tough choices in life haven't stripped them of their right to basic dignity. People trying to prove that even if they still made bad choices, it was their right to make them.

It was what kept Severus fighting his battles in secret and made his mother tough out a marriage she should have walked away from years ago. It was what made a woman and her children return each week to the hovel she can barely afford despite the man living inside, because she can't afford anywhere else to go either. It's what drove a man to drink and sleep in the gutter because he's too ashamed to return home and face his family, but too proud to seek help for his addiction. Pride and dignity, often noble traits and yet also grievous flaws that could keep someone locked in an endless cycle of misery.

Looking around her at the struggling men and women of Spinner's End, Lily realized how little she actually knew of Severus's world at all.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a wake up call for Lily here, isn't it.
> 
> You all didn't honestly think it would be smooth sailing from here, did you? This isn't a Disney film, folks!
> 
> Not to belabor a point, but I would like to return to my author's note about people's thoughts on Hagrid. Basically I want to commend my readers for their maturity. I've seen plenty of stories where the comment section becomes a warzone of people disagreeing with the author and people coming to defend the author. It never made sense to me to get so offended by someone seeing things differently than the writer; if someone disagrees with how I portray things, that's their right. So I don't need others to come fight for me like I've seen commentors do in other writers' stories. There's these snide back and forths, calling people stupid for their opinion, demonizing those who don't agree with them or the author and frankly I am glad you guys are all so civil with each other. Every time someone has offered a difference of opinion here, they have met no hostility or judgement and I am so proud of all of you for being mature adult readers :)
> 
> Read and review!


	52. 89 Eldridge Grove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus's visit to his mom has some surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> So glad with how well the last chapter was received. I'm glad you all liked the glimpse into Severus's neighborhood and home life. The rough side of the tracks is a harsh reality for anyone living in relative comfort or security. It's oftentimes hard to remember that just because you have a fairly good life, others may not. 
> 
> There's more surprises to come, folks!

* * *

Severus home had never been what you would call a pretty house. It wasn't even the sort you could claim looked good in it's prime, Severus recalling from old family albums the new addition to Spinner's End being bought by his parents already great disrepair just from the mill pollution and vandals. After his father and then pregnant mother moved in, the house fell to further disarray, the landlord no longer sticking around to maintain it now that he had tenants to do the job. Clearly, the man was unaware that Tobias had never been a 'fix-it' sort of person, nor had the once wealthy Eileen known the first thing about maintaining a home.

It was hardly unusual to see the rubbish bins knocked over or bags of refuse stacked on top of the lid. Weeds were all that ever grew along the broken and splintered fence no one ever-bothered painting. Spider webs hung in every window, some inside, some outside, not that it really mattered, as there still seemed to be an abundance of flies around regardless. Truly, the house never had seen better days, as terrible times were all it had known since people built in such a rundown neighborhood.

Today however, something about the rundown, dilapidated house seemed off somehow. Severus stepped away from Lily, proceeding forward cautiously. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the place looked just a tad more neglected than usual.

"Sev?" Lily questioned from her spot on the sidewalk.

Severus looked around him curiously; just what had changed here?

He carefully opened the decaying fence and walked onto the property, taking in the sorry state of things. The dirt and cobwebs should be par for the course, same as always, and yet there was something Severus just could put his finger on.

"Mum?" he called hesitantly, "Mum, it's me."

There was no answer from inside the ramshackle little hovel. It was entirely possible his mother was sleeping.

"Mum?" Severus tried again, "Are you home?" Severus approached the door and rapped four times on it, "Mum?"

"Maybe she isn't home right now," Lily suggested helpfully.

Severus shook his head, "There's nowhere for her to go. She hasn't got a job, no friends in this town. She eats so little on her own that I doubt she's out for groceries."

Severus knocked again, still receiving no response. It was certainly worrisome. His mother never had a social life, nor had she ever found successful work in Cokeworth; what sort of job could a witch with no muggle related skills do for work? While there was some attempt at mathematical education in schools now, Eileen was a pureblood from a different generation, one that saw no need for everyday skills when you had servants to do it for you and no need to work at all.

She certainly wouldn't be shopping. Severus didn't want to say anything to Lily, but the truth of the matter was most of their food had never been store bought. With Tobias too drunk to function in daylight hours and Eileen too ashamed to show her once proud face in public, they had to resort to alternative ways of acquiring something to eat.

Aside from the potatoes and carrots Severus occasionally pilfered from a neighbor's garden in the dead of night, they usually took what others discarded. Much of their food was stale bread and hardened cheese taken from the rubbish heap at the bakery and grocer just after they closed for the day. The time they threw out day old wares was still hours away; Eileen would not be about and about for it now.

Severus frowned; despite having nowhere to be, Eileen was normally an early riser. Most days one could find her sitting at the kitchen table staring listlessly into space. So what could be keeping her now.

..Could she be that upset about Tobais's death that she'd actually…?

"Mum," Severus called more urgently, pounding on the door, "Mum, where are you?" He grabbed hold of the doorknob and twisted, but found it locked.

"Where are you?" he repeated in frustration. Releasing the doorknob, he balled his hands into fists only to pause, taking note of a rather unpleasant griminess. Lifting the hand he'd touch the knob with, Severus saw a large smear of soot and dirt on his palm, the blow over from the mill's chimney stacks. Looking down at the doorknob again, Severus could clearly see a fine layer of filth on it, the place were his hand had rested now slightly cleaner from rubbing off on him.

"There shouldn't be this much build up," Severus muttered to himself, wiping his hand off on his pants. Normally the dirt that caked on overnight would be rubbed away every day from regular use, be it Tobias coming and going as he pleased or Eileen making her shamefaced walk to the rubbish bin to throw away the trash; mortified to do such lowly chores. But now, the knob appeared to have gone weeks if not months without being turned.

Severus glanced around, realizing dawning on him. That's what was different! Severus examined the walkway; only his footprints marred the snow despite the white powder having sat there for days.

The trash bin was overflowing with snow on its lid, apparently having accumulated from multiple storms over the winter. Not once had it been lifted since to throw a bag inside.

"It doesn't make sense," Severus mumbled, peering in the windows of his former home.

"Sev, what is it?" Lily asked in concern, stepping into the yard.

"One minute," Severus said dismissively. Stepping up onto an old discarded chair Tobias threw out but never took to the dump, Severus cupped his hands around his face to better peer through the window.

The furniture was coated in a fine layer of dust, thicker than usual. There was no disturbance to the dusty coated, as if no one had sat on the furniture or walk across the floor in quite some time.

"She isn't here," Severus declared, stepping down from the broken chair.

Lily cocked her head to the side, confused, "So should we wait for her?"

"I mean she hasn't been here in ages, Lily," Severus explained, wringing his hands, "No one's been in that house for months by the look of it."

"So then where can she be?" Lily asked.

"You guess is as good as mine," Severus said. He shifted from one foot to the other, wrapping his arms around himself self-consciously, "There's nowhere for her to go. I doubt her family would take her back; they made it pretty clear she was disowned for good. She has no friends to stay with as far as I know, so this house was all she had."

He glanced at Lily, "You don't think something happened to her, do you?"

"I'm sure she's fine," Lily comforted, coming over to wrap her arms around Severus, "Maybe she met someone and is staying with them for the time being."

"Unlikely," Severus snorted, "My father may have soured my mother towards muggle men. And you don't find many wizards around here."

The pair stood in silence, mulling over the possibilities. It was a big town and Eileen was just one tiny woman. A light wind could blow her over; how could she survive alone in Cokeworth?

"Where could she be?" Severus worried.

The loud click of a heavy lock turning caught Severus attention. Looking over to his left, he and Lily watched as the door to the house next to them opened up and a gray head poked out inquisitively.

An old woman smiled at them from behind large framed glasses.

"I thought that voice sounded familiar," she said with a smile, "Severus how are you, dear?"

"Fine, Mrs. Millner," Severus replied cordially, "Been better, I suppose. And you?"

"Good, been good," Mrs. Millner said, stepping shakily out onto her stoop; she walked with a cane to hold her up, "Hip's been acting up again, but that's old age for you, isn't it?"

She carefully descended her steps, Severus meeting her halfway to help.

"Thank you, dear," she said kindly, taking Severus hand.

Severus observed the gauze wrapped around the boney hand in his grasp.

Mrs. Millner followed his gaze.

"Nothing to worry about," she told him, patting Severus hand, "That wound's old news; Abby's been in lock up for two weeks."

Mrs. Millner leaned over to peer around Severus to Lily.

"My daughter-in-law," she explained, "Got a bit of a temper."

Lily nodded, unsettled by how casual the old woman was about what was sure to be a bad injury on her to get the other woman locked away.

"They're not on the best of terms," Severus said to Lily over his shoulder, "Abby's not as sweet as Mrs. Millner."

"Oh you flatter me," Mrs. Millner said with a laugh, patting Severus's cheek, "You charming rogue."

Severus smiled awkwardly, never quite sure to what say to such compliments.

"Yes, well," Severus began, "Mrs. Millner, I was wondering if you could tell me what's going on? The house looks worse than before and my Mother's not here."

"Why there's a simple explanation for that, my dear," Mrs. Millner said simply. She tapped her cane against a pile of snow by the fence, shaking the powdery substance off a sign that advertised a real estate company, "No one lives here anymore."

"It's for sale?" Severus gaped.

Mrs. Millner nodded, "Eileen said you might stop by. Said she wanted me to give you this," the elderly woman rummaged around in her bathrobe a bit before pulling out a slip of paper.

"I'd best get inside," she said, handing the paper over to Severus. She patted his cheek again, "I'll catch my death out here in this cold. You take care, dearie—and nice to meet you, young lady."

"Um, you too," Lily said clumsily.

Mrs. Millner gave them a friendly wave before disappearing back into her house.

"What did she give you, Sev?" Lily asked after the old woman was gone.

"It looks like an address," Severus observed, showing Lily the paper, "89 Eldridge Grove."

"Do you think that is where your mother is?" Lily asked, leaning against Severus to get a better look at the address.

"Must be," Severus said, absentmindedly putting an arm around Lily's waist, "It's the only reason I can think of her leaving it for Mrs. Millner to give to me."

He tucked the paper into his pocket, bringing the arm at Lily's waist up to rest on her upper back, "Might as well check it out."

 

{page break}

 

It took about an hour of walking before Severus and Lily finally gave in and took a bus, their feet sore and aching. They managed to find a seat near the middle of the bus with not too many people nearby, at Severus insistence to not sit near others. This particular method of public transportation was one of the things Severus would always loath. It forced you to be in close proximity to strangers, many of which seemed oblivious to their invasion of your personal space as they crowded into the metal monstrosity. He tended to hate muggle trains for that reason too. Thankfully, very few people were on the bus at this time of day, most folk already at work and not intending to venture home until early evening.

The pair watched as the bus rolled by houses and shops, mills and steel houses looming in the distance as an ever present backdrop to their industrious town. As houses gave way to apartment complexes, it became apparent that their location was closer to the city than expected.

The bus rolled to a stop at the crossroads of Eldridge Grove and Willow Wood Drive, the corner marked by a street sign covered dead and withered ivy vines killed off by the cold. The two of them got off the bus and watched it roll away, a cloud of exhaust left in its wake.

Severus set off down Eldridge Grove, Lily following close behind. Counting off the numbers on the buildings, Severus took in the neighborhood. He noted the clothes hanging from wash lines fixed to from apartment porches, garden gnomes and lawn ornaments standing absurdly proud in random yards. The strong scent of marinara wafted from apartment's open windows, a woman on the porch of another apartment beating out a rug.

Finally reaching number 89, Severus stopped outside a chain link fence and took in the place.

"This must be it," Severus said aloud.

It was an old building, with faded brick and rotten shingles. An overgrown hydrangea bush sat in the front yard covered in snow and the shape of various flowerboxes and planters could be just barely made out. There was a bicycle sitting by the stairs and several toys littered the lawn, a snowman nearby sporting a button nose and bucket for a hat. The mailbox had a large butterfly painted on it.

Of the run down house itself, it looked like some effort had gone into fixing up the front porch, the paint fresher and newer, and several rockers sitting off to either side of the front door.

A light post stood in the yard just behind the fence, a sign dangling from it.

"Ms. Everdee's Home for Women," Lily read, examining the sign, "Sev…I think this is a women's shelter."

"Why would she be here," Severus wondered. He lifted the heavy metal lock chained to the fence's gate, letting it fall back with a clank, "How do you suppose we get in?"

Lily craned her neck to the side, looking up at the building. She pointed at the front window, "I think someone sees us."

An elderly woman with streaky white hair stared at them through narrow eyes from an armchair at the picture window. A frown settling on her face, she turned and seemed to call out to someone behind her, before turning back to the window.

When the front door open, a woman in her fifties stepped out onto the porch. She pulled a woolen shawl around her shoulders and stood by the railing with her arms crossed, watching Severus and Lily suspiciously.

"Can I help you, young lady?" she said distrustfully, addressing only Lily for some odd reason.

"Um, yes," Lily began uneasily, "We're looking for, Eileen Snape. We were told she was at this address."

The woman stared at them unblinkingly, sizing them up, "And the boy?"

"This is Severus," Lily explained, placing a hand on Severus arm, "It's his mother we're looking for."

"There are no Eileen Snapes in this house," the woman declared dismissively, "You've come to the wrong place." She turned to head back inside.

"Eileen Prince, then," Severus cut in hurriedly, "That's her maiden name. Are you sure no one's here by that name?"

The woman eyed Severus warily, her gaze trailing up and down.

"She mentioned she had a son," she said eventually, "I thought he was away at some school."

"I'm home for Christmas break," Severus stated, "Lily," he gestured to his companion, "Her parents have been my legal guardians since…since my parents were reprimanded by the authorities and my father incarcerated."

The woman didn't appear to have anything to say to that.

"Please," Severus said, hating to beg, "If Eileen Prince is here then I need to see her. My father just died in prison and I fear she isn't taking the news well."

The woman didn't respond right away, quietly observing the pair at her fence. Finally, she sighed.

"You may come in," she said begrudgingly, stepping off the porch to let them in. She unlocked the fence and opened the gate.

"But there better not be any trouble," she warned sternly.

Ushering them inside, she lead them to the sitting room while she locked up the door again.

"Thought we didn't let men in here, Addie," the old woman at the window griped.

"This one's still a boy, Gertrude," the woman who let them in called back, "Come with me; she's on the third floor." She ascended the stairs at a brisk pace, forcing Severus and Lily to jog to catch up.

"I'm Ms. Everdee," she introduced herself; "This is a home for young mothers and women leaving their homes for various…circumstances. I pride myself on keeping this place calm and safe for these women and their children, so I take any stress or trouble very seriously."

She side stepped a trio of giggling children between four and five as she reached the second floor landing.

"There will be no raised voices," she continued, plucking a vase from one of the children and sending them on their way, "That includes yelling, shouting, arguing, or just talking very loudly. Some of the women are sensitive to too much noise; be respectful of their wishes."

"Any door that is closed is closed for a reason," she went on, jogging up the stairs to the third floor. She stopped at an ajar door to give a kind wave and sympathetic smile to a young, frail looking woman rocking a squirming infant, "Please knock and do not enter unless permitted to. I ask that you do not ask any unnecessary or prying questions of our residents; it is not your business nor should it be."

Reaching the end of the hall, she knock on the door to her left.

"So the bastard's dead, huh?" she said while they waited for a response, "Good riddance I say. Still, it explains a lot; she's been holed up in here since daybreak, wouldn't come down for breakfast." She knocked again, "Eileen dear? You're son is here to see you."

There was the creaking of a bed, followed by slow, halting footsteps across the floor. The door opened a crack, someone peering out at them from inside.

"Severus?" Eileen croaked wearily. Slowly she opened the door wider, "Is that you?"

"Hello, Mum," Severus said, his voice soft as if he were talking to a frightened animal, "How are you?"

"Severus," Eileen breathed out. She stepped out into the hall, her hands coming up to cup Severus's face.

"It's been so long," she whispered, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks reverently.

Despite being Tobias's punching bag for much of her son's life, Eileen had easily seen better days compared to now. Painfully thing, her bones jutted out more than they used to, her hair graying faster than Severus had ever seen it. She looked years older than she should, her frame fragile as a faberge egg. Her eyes were red and puffy, tear tracks dried to her face.

"I'll leave you three alone," Ms. Everdee said gently, "Call if you need anything."

Eileen paid Everdee no mind as the woman departed.

"Come in, come in," she beckoned, stepping aside so that Severus could enter. She turned to Lily, seemingly take notice of her for the first time, "You're that Evans girl," she murmured.

Lily nodded, giving her a friendly smile, "It's good to see you again, Ma'am."

Eileen appeared not to have heard her, mind lost in thought.

"That's right; he's living with the Evanses now," she murmured, "That's right…"

"So mum," Severus began, "How have you been?"

"I've been alright," Eileen replied, shutting the door to her room. She gestured to a small chair by her bed, "Please, sit."

Lily took the chair while Severus settled himself at the foot of Eileen's bed.

"Looks like a nice enough place," Severus observed, looking around the room. It wasn't very big, but certainly cleaner than their old house. The walls were papered in a bright flowery pattern. Two dressers sat side by side by next to the closet door, along with two desks. There was also a second bed in the room.

"My roommate," Eileen clarified, "She's out for a walk at the moment."

"So this place is lacking in space," Severus stated.

Eileen shrugged, taking a seat up by the headboard, "We make do."

"Uh-huh," Severus said noncommittally. His eyes fell to a framed photo on the nightstand; Eileen's wedding photo, "You know about dad." It wasn't a question.

Eileen's face crumpled inward, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

"Yes…" she said softly, "They called me this morning," she glanced at her wedding photo, "My poor, dear Toby…"

Severus clenched his fist in his lap to ground himself; he wasn't here to argue, "How are you coping?"

"As well as I can be," Eileen admitted, picking up the picture off the nightstand. She traced Tobias's features with her finger, "It's so hard to believe I'll never see him again."

"Well you were without him for months already," Severus pointed out, "You should be somewhat accustom to it by now."

Eileen shook her head, "That was supposed to be only temporary though. Eventually he would have come home."

Severus inhaled deeply through his nose, knuckles turning white.

"But mum," he said patiently, "It was made pretty clear by the ministry that staying with him wasn't the best idea."

"Only because he didn't know how to control his temper; that could have been worked on," Eileen said feebly, "When he was released he could have started courses for his anger like I have; it could have worked out. You don't know how he used to be, Severus. Tobias was so charming and sweet when I met him."

"And how long before that little charade ended?" Severus asked a little more forcefully than he intended. He took a deep breath, "Mum, wasn't the whole point of the hearing that I could only come home to you if it was deemed safe for me? They made it clear that under no circumstances would Tobias ever be legally approved to come near me again. Would you really have chosen him over me? Your own son?"

"You're going to be an adult in January," Eileen reasoned uncomfortably, "You would have been moving out to start your own life in a few months anyway."

"So you  _would_  put me out for him," Severus said.

"Of course not, Severus," Eileen denied, "I told you, we could have worked on Tobias's drinking, fix his temper. Maybe you wouldn't have been allowed to live with us, but like I said you'll be an adult soon anyway; the restriction was only for you as a minor. You could have come visit us, had dinner just like old times. We could have fixed things, Severus."

"You cannot fix what was never whole in the first place, mum!" Severus snapped.

"Severus…" Eileen whimpered, startled.

Lily reached across the gap between them and took one of Severus hands in her own.

"Take a deep breath," she advised, "We don't want Everdee coming back up here."

Severus breathed deeply, eyes closed as tight as he could manage. Briefly, he listed off various potion ingredients in alphabetical order in his head, getting as far as frog spawn before he felt composed enough to speak again.

"You fix things that break, mother," he said, staring at his hands, "But this family has never not been broken. It was never in one piece; there's nothing to fix because we never had all the pieces to put it back together."

"That's not true, Severus," Eileen refuted.

"But it is," Severus insisted, "This family was never whole, not even your relationship with dad. You lied to each other right from the start; you being a witch and…him being a good person. Things were off to a bad start right from the beginning. You can't fix this family."

"Even if you could," he continued, "I'd never want to be a part of it, because I refuse to pretend that what that man did to us didn't matter."

"Of course it matters, Severus," Eileen insisted.

"Did it?" Severus questioned, "When did it matter; when he pushed me down the stairs when I was six? When he broke my arm when I was nine? What about when he tried to strangle the life out of me?" He leaned in closer to Eileen, "Be honest; if the Evanses hadn't intervened that night you never would have called the police. If I was even alive by morning, you would have gone right back to pretending everything was fine. Admit it?"

"What do you want me to say, Severus?" Eileen asked.

"I want you to tell me why I had to suffer all those years because you wouldn't leave him," Severus declared, "I want to know why we had to stay when even you were miserable."

Severus ran a hand through his hair tiredly, "Mum, do you have any idea how I feel? For years I begged you to take us away from him.  _Years_ , mum, and for you always had some excuse. No money, no place to go, and now that he's out of the picture and I'm no longer living with you, you come here. They let children live here; we could have come here together years ago. But you just wouldn't leave him."

"It wasn't my choice to come here," Eileem argued, "Without Toby, I couldn't afford the house. I had to come here."

"Oh, so if father had never been locked up you would have had us stay with him forever?" Severus questioned hotly.

"He was my husband," Eileen cried.

"And I am your son!" Severus hissed, "You made me, I didn't ask to exist. After bringing me into this world the least you could have done was protect me from him. But no, you were determined to stick it out, hanging onto some fantasy from when you two were young, as if you could recapture it after the real Tobias came out. He beat us mum!"

He was breathing harshly after that outburst, struggling to maintain some semblance of composure.

Lily got up and came to sit beside Severus on the bed.

"It's okay, Sev," she whispered in his ear, rubbing his arm, "It's okay."

Severus looked to Lily gratefully, thankful for someone to anchor him to rationality.

"Nobody's perfect," Eileen argued weakly, "I've done terrible things too."

Severus leveled Eileen with a cold, hard stare.

"Yes but your actions were a product of his," he bit out, "It was fear and hurt, it was anger; I understand those feelings because I have them too. What was his excuse? He was at the top of our pecking order; what possible reason could he have for turning his hand on his wife and child."

"You wouldn't understand," Eileen said sadly, looking forlornly down at her wedding photo. Tobias was smiling in the picture, "He was a different man a long time ago. I don't know what changed him, but I'll never regret the good times we had. I used to hope there'd come a day when things would go back to how they were, that the old Toby would come back to me. I really thought if I could just figure out what made him like this, I could fix it and everything would be okay again."

Severus crossed his arms, unimpressed, "You never spoke this highly of him when he was alive. You couldn't wait to lay out his faults when you two had a row."

"You don't realize what you have until it's gone, Severus," Eileen said, caressing the photo.

She looked up at Severus brokenly.

"He used to be a good father," she stated, "You don't remember it, but he was. He used to take you to the park, and dress you every morning. He'd come home from the mill and you'd coming running to cling to his leg and he'd just laugh. He loved you, Severus."

"Until I turned out to be something other than what he wanted," Severus pointed out, "Same way his feelings changed about you. Since when is true love conditional, mother?"

"You wouldn't understand," Eileen said again, her voice starting to sound weaker. She slumped against the headboard, "Maybe you will when you're in love someday…I feel tired," she announced suddenly, "If it's alright with you, I'd like a rest…" she started to lie down.

Severus nodded, his mouth set in a grim line.

"We'll leave you be," he said simply.

As he went to stand up, Eileen grabbed his arm in a tight grip.

"You'll come see me again, won't you?" she asked, almost desperately.

Severus kept his face neutral, though the ticking of his jaw was noticeable to at least Lily.

"Of course," he said calmly, "You're my mother, after all."

Eileen gave him a watery smile. Tugging on his arm, she made Severus lean over so that she could kiss him on the forehead.

Severus waited until Eileen situated herself before pulling the blankets up over her. As he headed for the door with Lily, he softly called back, "Merry Christmas, mum."

"Oh," he heard Eileen murmur sleepily, "Is it that time already…I could have sworn it was only October…" muttering to herself, she drifted off.

Severus closed the door with a soft click, careful not to disturb his slumbering mother.

Severus and Lily descended the stairs slowly, neither saying a word. Halfway down the stairs, Severus reached for Lily's hand, holding it tightly, almost as if to reassure himself she was actually there.

They passed Ms. Everdee coming out of a room on the main floor.

"Mum's sleeping," Severus explained, "She got tired rather suddenly."

"Did she?" Ms. Everdee said with a frown. She looked up towards the ceiling, presumably towards Eileen's room, "I wonder if she's gotten into  _those_  again…"

"We'll show ourselves out," Severus said awkwardly, watching as the woman stared at the ceiling in concentration.

"Oh, what?" Everdee said, focusing back on them again, "Right…Helen, dear," she called to a passing woman, "Could you lock up after these two leave? I need to check on something." She wandered up the stairs, muttering something about locking the medicine cabinet.

Severus and Lily allowed themselves to be escorted out, Helen never saying anything to them other than a brief hello and goodbye before she locked the gate and headed back inside.

Severus kept a firm hold of Lily's hand as they head back to the bus stop, the sky darkening around them.

"I'm glad he's dead," Severus said out of the blue, "The way he's warped her thinking—he deserves to be six feet deep," he shook his head with a bitter laugh, "I hate to say it, but him dying is a pretty good Christmas present."

"Not the most cheerful thought," Lily admitted with a grimace, "But I can't say I disagree with you. It's doubtful he ever would have changed his ways. It's best for your mother that she's away from him."

"I just wish she'd see that," Severus muttered sourly, "How can you love someone if they take such pleasure in hurting you? None of what he did was accidents; he wanted us to suffer. How can she still love him?"

"I don't know, Sev," Lily said somberly, leaning against Severus, "Sometimes people mistake things for love that really aren't. She gave up everything to be with him and he didn't even love her how she wanted. Maybe she doesn't want to admit it was all for nothing."

"Maybe," Severus conceded, "I just…she used to be happy. I can barely recall those times, but I remember her smile. Tobias took that all away, Lily. Why couldn't he have died sooner."

"Sometimes bad people don't get what's coming to them before others get hurt," Lily said, "Sometimes punishment comes farther down the line," She wrapped her arms around Severus, "I'm sorry it didn't come sooner, Sev."

"Me too," Severus replied, holding Lily close, "Me too."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy stuff this week, huh?
> 
> Many of you probably are not surprised that Eileen still loves Tobias. It's oftentimes hard for battered men and women to let go of the memories of what once made them love their abuser, the person the abuser was during the initial stages of a relationship. Sometimes that 'nice' side of them you feel for was an act by a practiced liar and it is hard to reconcile with yourself that the person you loved never existed; other times the 'good' person you loved really was there at one time but trauma or hardships like PTSD, grief, or addiction robbed them of who they once were and you stay because you cling to the hope that there is a way to bring the old them back.
> 
> Eileen knew a different Tobias, a man who was kind and charming. But fear and prejudice can warp a person, and being deceived can make a person feel bitter and entrapped. Eileen did contribute a teeny, tiny bit to her unhappy marriage by lying to him all the way to the alter. Just as no one deserves to be harmed, no one deserves to be misled and lied to on such a grand scale.
> 
> It's hard to be the child of an abuser, but even harder to be the child of someone who still loves the one who abused you and others. For Severus, it's like being told that his suffering doesn't truly matter. He's heard from plenty of people that what his father did was wrong, but he wants that validation from the one person who witnessed and was complicit to it all. Eileen's unwillingness to let go of a version of Tobias that Severus never even knew must be upsetting. 
> 
> Read and review


	53. Christmas Tidings and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas brings gits galore and news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!
> 
> As usual I would like to thank you all for the lovely feedback and reviews.
> 
> I'm glad the last chapter went over so well with everyone. It was difficult to write, as I had to drawn from my own experiences of someone making excuses for an abuser (theirs and mine). I've even had to listen to the pretzel logic of how me wanting to call the police on my abuser for threatening would be causing unfair stress on everyone else, making me the bad guy. And of course the few kind things said abuser occasionally (rarely) does-things like put their own plate in the dishwasher, hold a door open for me-gets turned into a big praise fest over how nice it was, as though it somehow negates being constantly threatened with physical harm, threats of suicide if I do not comply with their demands, and emotional manipulation where everything is turned around on me no matter how much my feelings were hurt. Basically, I have lived the life where my abuser can do no wrong because the other victim wants me to see the good in the abuser, and when they do something wrong, it "isn't as bad as you make it out to be".
> 
> I've had some newer readers express to me their opinions on Simone. I understand she can be very, very, preachy in the beginning chapters, and yes she oftentimes shows up to discuss moral dilemmas. If it helps, her role in the story recedes over time, as my main focus is Severus and Lily.
> 
> I know for these reviewers in question, it may seem unbelievable of my oc to have all these talking points on right and wrong when others do not, but to me, her backstory gives it a decent level of believable-ness. Simone's father is the wizard equivalent of a lawyer, giving her a closer look at the laws of the land and what is and is not excluded to magical minorities. As someone of a ethnicity discriminated in many places of the world (even now), she has experienced being denied what should be basic rights to anyone, so she has the insight to see others in the magical world being treated similarly. Her views on consent come from what happened to her father when he was younger and her views on child abuse come from the cases he represented and the court cases he researched when getting his degree.
> 
> But like I said, Simone will become less and less of a moral preacher as she recedes from the central plot. So if you can get past that, I hope you can enjoy the rest of the story. And thank you for your feedback and opinion. It's always welcome.

* * *

Severus woke up early Christmas morning to Lily clinging to him like a great, big limpet. Tucked close to Severus body with her hair in the boy's face, Lily slept dead to the world. She had her leg hiked up over Severus's hip, the other bent at the knee slightly to hook one of Severus's ankles with her own. At some point in the night, Lily's arms had moved from pressing flat against Severus's chest to wrapping loosely around his neck, one hand tangled in several strands of inky, black hair. Her breath lightly fanned Severus's face; morning breath, but Severus found he didn't really mind.

He really had missed waking up like this every day. The first few mornings of Sixth year had been disorienting to say the least; waking up in his dorm room, confused as to why Lily wasn't beside him. Realizing where he was and always filled Severus with disappointment, a first as his dorm room had formerly been the one source of calm and solitude Severus had at Hogwarts. Now he loathed to return to school and spend his mornings waking up alone once more.

Severus stared at Lily thoughtfully, a true smile coming over his face. Her face had slacken in slumber, her lovely features relaxed and still. She tended to wear a tiny hint of makeup during the day, just some eyeshadow and mascara, maybe a light lipstick, but her bare face in the early morning was just as lovely to Severus. Having taken a shower the night before, her legs were smooth and silky, something Severus relished as her leg slid up his own, dragging his pant leg with it. He'd never object to her habit of wearing shorts to bed regardless of the weather. The arch of her spine was she coiled around him created a rather appealing jut to her bosom, which Severus couldn't help but admire though he chastised himself for his lecherous hormones.

Lily was a fitful sleeper, never known for staying in one place or still as she slumbered. Severus could recall in his youth the rare sleepover at the Evans household, the times his mother actually allowed him away from home. In the morning Severus usually woke up to find Lily almost completely sideways on her bed or with one leg dangling fully off the mattress; she'd kicked him in the head once wriggling around like that.

Severus liked to tease Lily that she could not dream passively, just as she was not passive in experiencing anything in life. She simply could not lie still during an animated dream, traveling across her bed as she traverse unusual dreamscapes. Even now, Lily moved, one of her feet tapping sporadically as if she was running.

Lily sighed contentedly in her sleep, the hand entwined in Severus's hair tightening ever so slightly. Severus smirked; he wondered what her dreams were now? Did she think him some cozy teddy bear to snuggle, or did she actually dream it was Severus she was wrapped around?

It was hard to believe how things had changed between them. Until only recently, Severus had been under the impression his affections would be unrequited for as long as he lived. He had even prepared himself for the painstaking role of supportive confidante, the one whom Lily sought to complain and swoon about the various men she'd surely romance in her life. He even imagined himself forcing on a painful smile as a groomsman in her wedding party, watching the love of his life marry another.

It was a possibility Severus had accepted but felt nauseous to consider. Severus honestly doubted that he'd be able to remain friends with Lily if that future came to pass. He never was very good at masking his bitterness and surely he'd be nothing but a sour faced presence in Lily's life should she marry another. As cowardly and childish as it was, Severus probably would be better off heading for parts unknown when that day came. His only comfort in those dark thoughts was that hopefully, it wouldn't be Potter whom she said 'I do' to.

Now recent developments had his mind reeling. Lily wanted him. Him! If Severus was a more foolish man, he'd assume he was dreaming, maybe even pinch himself to make sure. As it was, Severus was totally and utterly at a loss for how this attraction came to be on Lily's part. She was aware there were better-looking men out there, right?

Yet she chose him. Well maybe 'chose' wasn't the best way to describe it. Would crush be better? A mutual attraction? It might be too soon to actually discuss a relationship; they hadn't hashed out what their feelings meant for them. Severus flushed, remembering the lingering kiss Lily had given him before falling asleep. Things were progressing slowly, handholding and kisses being the farthest either of them entertained going. They were a long way off from attempting any snogging, certainly, mainly because they were both sure the first time would most likely prove to be an awkward, clumsy affair. It wasn't like either of them had any experience, Severus only ever having eyes for someone he thought unobtainable and Lily's potential suitors over the years being chased away by James—and maybe by Severus as well if he were being honest.

What they had was still tip toeing around the phase adults would call 'puppy love', though Severus could assuredly state his feelings ran much deeper than childhood infatuation. Things were new and exciting, but also unfamiliar and tentative, neither knowing how to proceed or even broach the topic of whether they were together now.

It would seem Lily had no intention of broaching the subject with him and Severus couldn't say he blamed her. Everything happened to fast, from the first kiss to Tobias's death, and then the depressing visit with his apparently delusional mother. There hadn't been any time to really bring up where they stood with each other. If they became an official couple right after Tobias died, would anyone take them seriously, or would people assume that the relationship was born out of loneliness on his part and pity on Lily's? Let's be honest; there were plenty of people who would believe Lily would have to be crazy to date him.

Severus suspected Lily also still held some reservations about intimacy after what Avery did. She was a wise enough girl to know what she did consentingly was in no way the same as what Avery had done, but Severus knew Lily still at times became self-conscious of touch, be it from friend or family. Considering his own difficulties with touch aversion after years of dodging his father's fists, he wasn't about to push Lily out of her comfort zone.

Lily's parents were another variable to consider. It wasn't let any parent would want someone wooing their daughter under their very roof. If Severus was in Hank's shoes, it was doubtful he'd want a hormonal teenage boy living so closes to his daughter if the boy expressed interests in her. He'd probably be overcome with fear for his daughter's purity if he were Hank. Would Severus be allowed to stay if a relationship bloomed between him and Lily?

Severus also felt a little guilty to pursue anything while staying with the Evanses. This was a family that stuck their necks out for him, welcomed him into their home. They even went to bat for him against the ministry and Wizengamot, an authority that lorded over others with unquestionable power. To repay Hank and Willow by saddling their youngest daughter with a boy from the wrong side of town with no prospects seemed unfair, even cruel.

There was also Severus's persistent self-doubt. Never fancying himself as anyone's first choice, Severus couldn't help but be wary of jumping into anything serious with Lily. After all, for him this was a lifetime long love he'd nurtured from early childhood, but for Lily, her feelings were something new even to her. While it was possible she'd always held some level of hidden romantic affection for him and only now became aware of it, there was still the greater possibility that this was a passing fancy on her part.

While Severus would love to confidentially enter into a relationship with Lily and throw caution to the winds, he was never an optimistic person, but a logical one. That logic painfully reminded Severus that while he may have Lily's affections, he may not yet have her trust, not wholly, a fact he came upon none too happily a week ago.

He hadn't meant to find the letters from Lily's friends, really he hadn't. He'd come upstairs to find Lily's favorite scarf at her request. Whilst searching on his hands and knees, Severus's stumbled across the creased but otherwise untouched letter, apparently having fallen behind the desk.

Folded neatly on top of the envelope it arrived in, Severus was perplexed the letter had been so carefully preserved, especially after seeing who it was from. For weeks now, Lily had thrown away letters from Meldonna the same as Jessica's, responding with bland well-wishing instead of addressing or even reading any of the concerns her judgmental friends had written. Yet she saved this one. Perhaps Lily had simply forgotten to throw this one away; she could have set it down intending to do away with it later when she wasn't busy, but Severus could fight the niggling feeling that she's meant to keep this one.

Scanning the letter's contents—he wasn't snooping, the letter fell open on its own—Severus found a rather well thought out and pervasive rant against associating with him. Meldonna certainly had the cunning of a Slytherin, playing on Severus's ambition as a means of implying his inability to change. Her guise of a concerned, loving friend would probably pull at Lily's heartstrings, but Severus could easily see it as a manipulative ploy to make Lily second guess her decisions. The flattery and praise of Lily's kind nature was just Meldonna's way of coming off less confrontational; she wouldn't get very far with a hot tempered person like Lily if she was condescending.

The fact that  _this_  was the letter that Lily hung onto—not the rude, patronizing, and insulting missives from Jessica or Meldonna's previous letter—is what made Severus so paranoid. Had Lily actually given Meldonna's words real thought? Was it possible she still sat on the fence over whether or not he'd truly changed? Even he could see Lily's concerns over his interests in certain subjects still remained, but he had hope she'd become more willing to see he side of things.

That made his hesitation with Lily all the stronger. Clearly he had Lily's interest, but without her trust, she could easily fall out of…love with him or whatever it was she felt. Lust? Attraction?

Severus shook the thoughts away. There really was no point worrying himself sick over matters at a time like this. As much as he wished to confront Lily with his concerns, he didn't want to ruin Christmas, especially when a possible confrontation with her would ruin everyone else's good day as well.

Lily chose that moment to groggily return to the waking world. Giving a small groan of annoyance at having somehow roused herself from a peaceful sleep, she rubbed her eyes with a yawn, squinting under the daylight's glaring brightness.

Her eyes falling on Severus, Lily smiled.

"Morning," she said sleepily.

Any concerns Severus had fled his head as Lily tightened her hold on Severus's and drew him in for a lazy kiss. It was uncoordinated and messy, Lily not fully awake, yet it still succeeded in making Severus's stomach flip and his toes curl pleasantly.

"Merry Christmas," he said in return, running a hand up and down Lily's back. Lily arched into his ministrations with a contented sigh like a cat.

'Mmmm, Christmas," Lily mumbled, nuzzling Severus's ear. After a moment, she stiffened, drawing back in surprise.

"Christmas!" Lily nearly shrieked, scrambling out from under the covers. She looked at the clock on the nightstand in panic, "My parents will be up by now; they're going to come wake us all up any minute! The last thing we need is them finding me here."

Severus sat up in bemusement, watching Lily grab her robe and put her slippers back on. Seeing no sense in lounging about any longer, Severus flipped back the covers and drew his own bathrobe, beginning to make his bed for the day.

Everything in order, Lily rushed to the door and swung it open with the intent of a speedy and sneaky exit, only to find her father on the other side of the door, hand poised to knock.

"Lily," Hank said in surprise, "You weren't in your room; I figured you were using the toilet. What are you doing in here?"

Lily stared up at her father, her mind working furiously for a response.

Severus mercifully came to her rescue, "This little imp decided to wake me up bright and early to see if Santa came," he lied easily, "I can certainly say that jumping on me is what I'd call a rude awakening."

Thankfully Hank bought the fib without suspicion, "You're truly one of the family now, Severus; Lily does the same to us and her sister every year too. But I woke up before you this year, Lilyflower," he added triumphantly, grinning at his daughter.

Lily stuck her tongue out at her father, "Just for that, I'm waking you up early New Year's Day."

Hank put a hand to his heart, "After partying the night before? How cruel!"

"Are mum and Petunia already up?" Lily asked.

Hank nodded, "Bribed Petunia with some coffee mixed with cocoa; that got her out of bed. Come along you two; let's see what Santa brought us." He headed back downstairs.

Lily turned to Severus, "Quick thinking," she praised.

Severus smiled, though he had the good grace to look a little ashamed, "I don't exactly like lying to your father."

"I know," Lily said, "But I'd rather not get into it with him about sleeping in a boy's room. It's Christmas; we're meant to have fun today."ow cruelH

"This Christmas is already sure to beat all my previous ones by a mile; Tobias isn't here to ruin it for me," Severus observed, "I suppose I'll have to get used to people expecting me to be sad about it though." Ever since yesterday morning, Willow's face sat in a perpetual pitying frown whenever Severus entered the room, as though she expected him to burst into tears at any minute and throw himself sobbing into her arms.

"That is the average reaction to a parent's death," Lily agreed, "But they didn't know your father; they don't understand how unbearable he was."

"Well either way, it's done wonders for my Christmas cheer," he held out his arm for Lily to take, "Come, let's see what other good news St. Nick's brought me; do you think I'll find Black and Potter's bollocks under the tree?"

Lily laughed, "One could only hope!"

 

{page break}

 

Petunia tore open the neatly wrapped gift before her with gusto, the contents inside eliciting a joyful gasp from her.

"Oh, Lily, it's beautiful!" She gushed, raised the Unicorn painting up for everyone to see, "And they move. Mum, dad, they really move!"

"That's wonderful, Pumpkin," Willow said, staring at the painting in awe, "Dear, come look at this."

"I'm looking," Hank said, curled up in the new bathrobe his wife bought him and digging into the dark chocolate from Severus, "That surely is a lovely gift."

"It's from both of them," Petunia observed, looking at the gift tag again, "Thank you, Lily, thanks Severus," to the boy's surprise the eldest Evans's child pulled him into a hug."

"You're welcome," Severus returned the hug awkwardly, "We actually have two gifts for you." He pulled out an oblong shaped parcel wrapped simply in brown packaging paper.

Petunia eagerly took the present, openly it just as hurriedly as the last. When she saw what lay inside, her eyes lit up, "Is this that cosmetic potion Simone uses?"

Severus nodded, "Yes. Lily and I brewed it up during a study period at school. Now you don't have to borrow Serapeum's to have a glowing complexion."

"I'll be the envy of the University!" Petunia exclaimed. Again, she threw her arms around Lily and Severus, "Thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome, Tuney," Lily said happily.

"Now I feel silly giving you something so bland," Petunia admitted, handing a package to Severus. Inside he found with a portable apothecary chest, antique by the looks of it."

"Simone said many brewers carry them," Petunia explained, "This was one of the more affordable models; I figured you weren't into the flashy stuff."

"It's perfect," Severus replied, giving Petunia a kind smile, "The potions kit I got from school has been falling apart for years. This will do nicely."

Petunia smiled relieved.

So far, everyone has gotten a good haul. Lily's parents each got a robe and slipper set from Lily and Severus along with Willow's shawl and gloves. Hank was tickled pink by the refilling coffee mug, while Petunia received quite a few fashionable, yet tasteful additions to her wardrobe from her parents. Willow and Hank gave Lily similar gifts, but leaning more towards her fashion sense, as well as some Charm books that came highly recommended to them by Severus. Petunia gave her sister some heeled shoes and a set of makeup she knew Lily had been admiring in a shop window for weeks.

Severus received some brand new shirts and pants, as well as a fine pair of boots from the Evanses, all in neutral colors, as was his preference. He also got a collection of muggle classics; Frankenstein, Dracula, the Legends of King Arthur.

Severus wasn't shocked to find a large pile of gifts under the tree for Lily from her friends, but what did surprise him was the rather decent mound of presents for him. Davis had sent him a wizard chess set, while Nesme sent him a muggle book of riddles and brainteasers. A few other students from their study book sent him chocolates and sweets, and an anonymous package of colorful socks came to him as well, addressed from Hogwarts and nothing more. Mary sent him a book on plant care for potioneers, a useful gift to be sure.

Hagrid owled over a basket of his homemade cakes for Lily and Severus to enjoy, though neither was sure they'd eat any of the rock-hard confections. They were more inclined to eat the crystallized pineapple Slughorn sent them.

For some odd reason, Marlene had sent Severus something; a magazine on the most romantic places in London, a note attached that said in big fat letters, "Hint, hint" with a drawing of a Lily and a bat at the bottom.

Severus had wondered if Lily had told anyone about her feelings for him; now he was quite sure  _someone_  knew.

Lupin sent him something as well, thought Severus couldn't say that it surprised him given how sincere the boy was trying to be about making amends. Severus dislike the gift either, laughing aloud when he pulled out a moving photo of Potter and Black with antlers, apparently victims of a prank Lupin pulled over the holidays. The boys were laughing in the photo instead of miserable as Severus would have hoped, but the sight of them looking so ridiculous was nice enough. Remus even hung ornaments and garlands from his friends' new appendages before taking the photo.

The picture helped improve Severus mood after seeing Lily open a gift from Potter earlier. The gift came with a note claiming Potter had ordered two by mistake when picking out a gift for his mother and figured he'd send the extra to Lily, but Severus knew the Emerald encrusted necklace Lily received had been selected for her deliberately.

"What an expensive thing to order two of," Lily said, looking over the pricy gift, "Not sure why he didn't just return it to get his money back."

Severus feigned a disinterested shrug, "Maybe the store had a no refunds policy.

He tried not to let his upset show and focused on the embarrassment on Potter's face in Lupin's photo to calm his nerves.

Lily gave Severus a book on Alchemy and Severus gifted her a pair of monogramed gloves. He intended to give her the necklace he bought later that night in private. It seemed too personal to give to her in front of her family. As it was, he was hoping his gift wouldn't be downplayed in significance now that Potter had stolen the show with that overpriced necklace of his.

Despite that one unpleasant hiccup, the morning was spent making merry in the living room while Christmas specials played on the telly in the background, plates of cookies and cups of cocoa taking the place of breakfast. Lounging in their jammies, everyone was content to laze the day away in cozy comfort.

It was around lunchtime when Petunia and her mother set about making sandwiches that the doorbell rang, followed by rapid knocking.

"I'll get it," Petunia called, heading for the door. When the door opened, she let out a happy squeal, prompting Severus and Lily to peek into the hall.

"Simone!" Petunia said excitedly, "Thea! What a surprise to see you here today." She swept her two best friends into a group hug.

"Pet," Simone greeted warmly, patting her friend on the back. Clad in a muggle winter coats, she and Thea brushed the snow off their shoulders before stepping inside, "I trust your Christmas is going well?"

"It's going wonderfully," Petunia declared, "More so now that you two are here. Did you get my presents?"

"We did," Simone replied, stepping over the threshold. As she did, her muggle clothes morphed into a wizard cloak and robes. She opened her cloak to show off a feathered broach, "Peacock feathers; how did you know?"

Petunia giggled, "You love to stand out in a crowd, it was an obvious choice."

"Thank you for mine as well, Petunia," Thea said happily, proudly flaunting a Kneazle broach of sterling silver.

"We haven't come empty handed," Simone announced, pulling two large boxes from her cloak, "Happy Christmas, Pet."

The first box contained a jewel encrusted necklace that had Petunia's eyes as round as dinner plates.

"Oh my, Sim," Petunia breathed, "This is too nice to accept."

"You touched it, no take backs," Simone said childishly with a smirk, "Open the other one, Thea picked it out."

Petunia opened the other box hesitantly, only for a smile to split her face as she pulled out a large picture frame.

"Another unicorn portrait!" she exclaimed, overjoyed, "And…is that..?"

"It's you," Simone answered, "We had it custom made."

"This will go perfect with the one Severus and Lily got me," Petunia said in wonderment, "They're both so beautiful!"

"If you hang them in the same room close to one another, the unicorns will move from one frame to the other," Thea explained.

"Really?!" Petunia gasped, "This I've got to see!" she grabbed a smiling Thea by the hand, dragging her into the living room where the other picture currently sat.

Simone watched them go with a smile before turning her attention to Lily and Severus.

"Now that, they're busy," she crossed the space in three quick strides and enveloped Severus in a tight hug, "Sorry about your father. He was an ass who deserve no better, but you shouldn't have to go through this."

Severus stood back, confused, "How do you know about my father? It's not even in the paper yet."

"Maybe not the muggle paper," Simone said, pulling a rolled up newspaper from beneath her cloak, "Rita Skeeter has been snooping, it would seem."

Emblazoned across the front page of the  _Daily Prophet_  was Severus face in black and white, scowling up at them. Besides it was a photo of a body covered in a white sheet surrounded by muggle police officers. Both photos sat beneath the headline:  **"Hogwarts Hero's Father Found Dead: Natural or Murder?"**

"What in the world?" Severus muttered, unfolding the paper to read.

 

_It has been brought to this reporters attention that early on the morning of Christmas Eve, muggle Tobias Snape was found dead by muggle authorities in Cokeworth, England._

_If this name sounds familiar to you, it should. Tobias Snape is purported to be the father of none other than Hogwarts' recent summertime hero, Severus Snape, who last June fought off to alleged conspirators of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in an effort to save two muggleborn classmates._

_What you probably didn't know was that Tobias Snape was in prison at the time of his death having been incarcerated in the early summer for an attempt on his son's life, a recent addition to what was apparently a long list of abuse on his part towards his son over the years._

_Now naturally, such a grievous attack on one's own child is abhorrent to say the least, so many of us should feel no grief about such a tyrant's passing, but it doesn't leave any less questions left unanswered. How did he die? Undercovere Aurors at the scene of the investigation say no sign of a struggle was shown, nor any muggle ailment conducive to a natural death, be it heart attack or failing health. Does that mean Tobias met his demise through magical means? This reporter certainly thinks so!_

_The question is why, though? What wizard or witch would conspire to end the life of a muggle already facing justice behind bars for his actions? Severus Snape is reported to have been home at the time of Tobias's death, safely tucked away in the home of his new guardians. His mother Eileen could not be reached for comment._

_Many of us recall that the trial of Severus Snape's attackers ended in an explosive confession by Calix Avery of collusion with You-Know-Who and a threat of revenge, promised by Avery to be carried out by the Dark Lord himself. Could this be a warning to Severus? If so, why target the man who caused his own son so much harm?_

_Or is there another motive? Rumor has it Severus was sought after by the Death Eaters for his skills and snubbed them most profoundly when he fought on the train. Could this be an incentive by You-Know-Who? Has he killed the one who caused Severus so much harm as a peace offering to the boy he wishes to recruit? Or is this all just speculation and an avid fan of Severus's heroics acted of his or her own volition to avenge the wrong doings against Severus by his own father?_

_One can only guess, but this reporter will be ever vigilante, to give you readers the information you deserve just as soon as it comes in. Stay with me as the story unfolds in the days to come!_

 

Severus groaned, handing the paper off to Lily.

"Great, now everyone knows about my personal life," he sighed, "I'm sure Potter and his goons will have a field day with this."

"They better not, or they'll make bigger asses of themselves than they already have," Lily said, looking over the paper with a frown, "It won't make them look too good to be mocking child abuse."

"We've got bigger problems," Simone pointed out, "Rita has you poised as both a martyr for the light and a possible Dark wizard recruit. She wants to stir up as much suspicion and support for you to drum up publicity."

"Like I don't have people already judging me enough as it is," Severus muttered.

"Do you think what she said is true?" Lily asked, "That Tobias was killed by magic?"

"It does sound likely," Simone answered, "From what I understand, he was in pretty decent health up until they found him yesterday. Magic is the most logical explanation."

"So do you think it was done on You-Know-Who's orders?" Severus asked, "Rita seems to think that's the most likely answer."

Simone rubbed her chin in thought, "It's wouldn't surprise me."

"But why though," Lily pushed, "You heard Rita; it would make little sense to punish Sev by hurting someone he cares little for."

Simone tapped the paper, "Rita also said this might be an attempt to recruit Severus. They could be trying to appeal to his thirst for revenge against Tobias."

"I wouldn't call it a thirst," Severus argued with a roll of his eyes, "I was perfectly content with the image of him rotting in jail," he glanced at the paper, "Still, I can't say they didn't do me any favors. Better them than me, at least this way it's their souls tainted by murder; not mine."

"Severus," Lily admonished, "You can't honestly appreciate what they've done. They're clearly trying to trick you."

"I know that," Severus said with a scowl, "But is it really so bad that they bumped him off. It's not like he was ever going to change his ways. One less bastard in the world if you ask me." He frowned at Lily, "It's not like I'm going to up and join them now out of thanks."

"Still…" Lily mumbled her voice laced with disapproval.

"Let's not dwell on theories," Simone interrupted, "The point is, they've already got some sort of sight on you. If Thea's warning from Lucius is anything to go by—" she missed the warning look Severus shot her.

"Thea's what?" Lily cut in, "What did Lucius say? Why was Thea even with him?!"

Severus sighed angrily, he'd hoped to avoid worrying Lily with Lucius's words.

Simone scowled heavily, "She was invited there to discuss her betrothal to Rabastan Lestrange."

"Betrothal?" Lily squawked, "They're going to make her marry that madman? I hear he was a monster in school."

"He and his brother both; it's why either of them made a perfect match for Bellatrix," Simone said sourly, "It's an arranged marriage that Thea's parents decided to spring on her over the holidays."

"Arranged marriages are traditional in many pureblood families," Severus explained to Lily.

"It's slavery," Simone growled, "People selling their children into sexual servitude to heirs and heiresses from more powerful families. They're practically property after the wedding; their own parents don't even get a say in how their child is treated by the higher class family or spouse."

"That's awful!" Lily cried, "Why would her parents allow a thing like that?"

"Because they're power hungry sycophants who care more for prestige than their own daughter," Simone seethed, gritting her teeth, "They'll marry Thea off to that monster over my dead body."

"Careful what you wish for, or they might do just that," Severus cautioned.

"Those bastards don't scare me," Simone declared.

"So wait, what did Lucius say about Severus?" Lily pressed.

Simone exchanged a glance with Severus, realizing that he'd kept this from Lily for a reason. Too late to hide it now, though.

"Lucius warned Thea that Severus had angered You-Know-Who," Simone revealed, "It sounds like they might have it out for him now. Lucius advised against Severus continued association with you, posed it as though Severus may earn leniency if he cuts you out of his life and reconsiders their offer. He warned that the consequences would be dire…" she crossed her arms, "It would seem they are issuing Severus an ultimatum of sorts: join them, or everyone he loves will be in danger."

"That's madness!" Lily cried in outrage, she turned accusing eyes to Severus, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Severus held his hands up, "I didn't want to worry you."

Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Gee thanks, finding out now is so much better."

Severus groaned, "For god's sake, Lily it isn't like I'm actually considering joining them."

"You better not be," Lily warned.

"I'm not," Severus snapped, "I'm through with those people. I'm not stupid enough to fall for their trap."

Lily stared at Severus angrily, concern in her green eyes.

"I'm sorry," Severus said pointedly, "I should have told you. I just didn't want you to stress out, or worse blame yourself for them threatening me."

Lily looked away, "I hadn't thought about that…you did anger them for my sake…"

"See, that's what I wanted to avoid," Severus said, frustrated. He lifted Lily's chin so she'd look at him, "You didn't cause this. His followers are crazy; look at Bellatrix. Chances are I would have been in hot water with them eventually for not being on board with murdering children or eating puppies or something."

Lily let a small giggle slip, "They are mad, aren't they?"

"Completely bonkers," Severus agreed, "So don't think you had anything to do with them setting their sights on me; they'd have done it sooner or later. I think they're just prone to turn on one another. After, it's what Avery and Mulciber did in court."

"True," Lily admitted, leaning into Severus's side. Her ire seemed to be cooled for now, but Severus doubted this would be the last he heard of it. Meldonna's letter came to mind again. She'd have a field day wearing down Lily with this new development.

"Still, I wish they weren't after you," Lily said after a moment.

"Same here," Severus murmured, "I never thought things would be so complicated when we were teenagers; this all seems like things were should have had to face as adults."

"War makes adults out of it's children," Simone said sadly.

"Isn't that the truth," Severus mused, "Right now we have more pressing matters to worry about. This article is going to put even more eyes on me. That's going to make our research on the diadem harder to keep discreet and me and Lily had managed to acquire a bombshell of information."

"Oh," Simone said, raising a brow, "Do tell."

"After lunch," Severus promised, "We should probably join Thea and Petunia before they get suspicious. I'll tell you one thing; we may be on the right track with this Tom Riddle fellow."

"Nesme will be over the moon that her suggestion panned out," Simone said as they headed for the living room, "Of, before I forget."

Simone pulled two items out of her cloak, waving her wand to enlarge them.

"A set of formal cloaks for each of you," she said, handing them to Severus and Lily casually, "I didn't bother wrapping them. Enjoy."

Severus and Lily stared bemused down at their gifts.

"Where would we ever wear these?" Severus questioned.

Simone only laughed, "Commoners."

 

{page break}

 

"Hey, Lily," Severus lightly tapped Lily's shoulder as she passed him to join her family in front of the fireplace for the evening, "Do you have a minute?"

Simone and Thea had departed shortly before dinner, citing a need to return Thea to her house before her parents noticed she was gone. Considering the girls spent several hours at the Evans household, it spoke volumes of how little interaction Thea had with her parents if they barely noticed her absence on Christmas.

The subject of Thea's betrothal went over very poorly with Petunia, who was vehement she give Thea's parents a 'stern talking to' and was only talked out of it with much begging on Thea's part and a sticking charm cast by Simone to keep her from leaping up leaving to search for Thea's parents herself.

When the girls left, Petunia vented her displeasure over the whole matter by throwing herself into her work, namely, her cooking. She whipped up a meal that could contend with Hogwarts fine cuisine, a perfectly seasoned roast taking center stage with roasted potatoes, bread pudding, sautéed asparagus, and hash coated in a béchamel sauce as side dishes. Cooking while made seemed to agree with her, something her mother joked would come in handy when she was married, as husbands were notorious for getting under one's skin. Hank dipped his finger in his wine and flicked the drippings at Willow for that remark.

Since Petunia cooked, it seemed only fair that Lily and Severus clean up, the pair more than willing to wash dishes and put away the leftovers. When everything was clean and dry and in its proper place, Lily was all but ready to curl up on the couch with her parents and watch some old Christmas movie by the light of the fire. Severus was more than amendable to that, but first he needed to take care of something.

"I was hoping we could have a word," Severus stated, "In private?"

Lily blinked, "Oh, sure."

Lily followed Severus upstairs to his room, the dark haired boy closing the door behind them.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Lily asked warily. The issue of Lucius threat and offer hung over them like a dark cloud. The betrayal and irritation Lily felt at the secret was still fresh and Lily doubted she could exchange a civil word about it if Severus chose to bring it up now.

Severus knew it was the last things Lily wanted to discuss and frankly, he shared her sentiments. If he had it his way, Lily never would have known about Lucius recent words regarding him, finding it better to push the subject to the back of his mind and never deal with it. It wasn't like he was going to join Malfoy and his master, so why bother worrying Lily over something that would never occur? In hindsight, Severus should have wrote to Simone informing her of his decision to keep matters discreet, but it was too late to fix things now.

Secrecy was no longer an option with this problem, but that didn't mean Severus wasn't going to avoid it like the plague. Therefore, Lily could rest easy since he had no intention to discuss it up now. Honestly Lucius's words were probably very empty holding little promise or malice. Severus was a sixteen-year-old boy; Voldemort had more powerful men and women to target for opposing him. Voldemort could take a back seat for now. Things that are more important rested on Severus's mind. Like the item currently hidden in Severus's trunk.

"There's something I wanted to give you," Severus began, "for Christmas."

He pulled his trunk out from under his bed, rummaging around in it. After a moment or two of searching, he produced a small, azure box from one of his trunk's hidden compartments.

"It didn't seem right to give it to you in front of your parents," Severus explained as he turned back around and presented the gift to Lily, "I wanted this to be a private moment, just between us."

Lily took the gift with a bemused smile, "I thought the gloves were enough, but if you insist," she carefully untied the purple ribbon on the box and lifted the lid.

Lily's eyes lit up when she saw what sat inside, a gasp springing from her lips.

"Oh…Severus," she breathed, lifting the necklace out of the box. She held it up to the light, completely enamored with the tiny, near translucent doe inside the glass bauble. From its frail, lithe limbs to the intricately detailed etching of fur tufts on its ears and tail, the creature was almost ethereal in appearance, the whole scene done in simple whites and grays to give it a near ghost-like quality.

Severus wanted to give himself a pat on the back for the charm he managed to place on the necklace. With a little bit of magic and ingenuity, the doe inside grazed just like a real deer, small, dainty steps across the landscape, tail and ears flicking occasionally.

"It's beautiful," Lily exclaimed, cradling the necklace in her hands, "It's so delicate and elegant," she looked up at Severus with a big smile, her eyes swimming with adoration, "I love it!"

Careful of the necklace, Lily pulled Severus in for a heartfelt kiss, the corners of her lips turning up smugly as she felt the normally reserved boy melt a little under her touch.

Pulling back, Lily's gaze returned to the little doe in the necklace.

"It looks so fragile," she said, "I'm almost afraid to wear it."

"It's charmed," Severus told her, "The shop owners said the spell last up to ten years before it needs to be reapplied. It should withstand most wear and tear."

"Perfect," Lily said happily, turning around and pulling her hair back from her neck, "Put it on me?"

With gentle hands, Severus carefully brought the chain around Lily's neck, clasping it in the back. He let his fingertips brush softly, but deliberately against Lily's skin, trailing his nails over her pale flesh for several teasing seconds.

"There," he said, pulling away.

Lily turned back around, wishing Severus's hands had lingered more. She looked down at the necklace now resting on her collarbone.

"This is the sweetest gift, Severus," Lily said admiringly, "How did you find something like this?"

"It was in a store front in Hogsmeade," Severus replied, "I saw it in the window and for some reason I thought of you."

"Well I love it," Lily declared, "Thank you."

Severus smiled, pride welling in his chest at the sight of his gift hanging from Lily's neck while Potter's still sat discarded under the tree.

"You're welcome," Severus said easily, "Well I guess we better go join the others downstairs."

"Wait," Lily said, stopping Severus from leaving the room, "I have something for you too."

Severus raised a brow, "I thought the alchemy book was my present. I can't wait to read it."

"That was just present number one," Lily explained, "I prepared the other one weeks ago, but didn't really want to give it to you with mum and dad watching. They'd do the whole annoying parent thing; cooing, saying 'isn't that cute' and 'that's so sweet'. I'd rather avoid that whole ordeal."

"Let me fetch it," Lily said, dashing out of the room. She returned moments later with a rectangular box wrapped in shiny silver paper.

"Open it," she demanded with youthful impatience.

Severus inspected the box, feeling the object through the paper.

"It looks like a picture," he said teasingly, snickering at Lily's groan of impatience, "It feels like a picture," he pulled back the wrapping paper agonizingly slow, "And lo and behold it is a—"

Severus trailed off, the words dying on his tongue.

In a simple frame sat a photo of two children, one boy and one girl. The girl had a rosy smile lighting up her face while the boy stood beside her, glancing at her shyly from time to time with a little grin of his own. Dressed in Hogwarts robes, the pair stood under a tree.

Severus watched as the little girl danced around the trunk of the tree, popping out from either side to poke her friend in the stomach playfully as the boy fought hard not to smile.

"It's from our first year at school," Lily pointed out quietly, watching Severus's expression, "Our first time by the lake since we rode the boats over."

"I don't…" Severus said softly, "I don't understand…Lily how did you get this?"

Lily smiled tenderly at him, "It's a memory…mine."

Severus looked up at Lily in amazement.

"Professor Flitwick extracted it for me," Lily went on, "It took quite a bit of effort; he's not as familiar with memory magic. I did some extra charm tutoring for his younger students in exchange."

Severus recalled Lily being a tad bit busier than usual near the end of term, "You did that for me?"

Lily nodded, "It was a cherished memory for me; back when we were young and things were simple," she looked down, "Back before everyone started trying to separate us. I wanted you to have a good memory from school like I do…before Potter and his friends began ruining it for you."

"Lily, this is incredible," Severus said, his voice choked with emotion. He tried to choke back the lump growing in his throat, "You're incredible, Lily."

Lily wrapped her arms around Severus and the boy clung to her like a lifeline, breathing in her scent like it was what kept him alive.

"You've made my life far better than I ever dreamed it would be," Severus whispered.

If Severus was crying, Lily made no mention of it, simple choosing to hold onto Severus as if he meant the world to her.

Because honestly, he did.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down, dozens more to go!
> 
> So is anyone really surprised the likes of Rita Skeeter had to put in her own two cents on Tobias's death?
> 
> What did you think of Lily's gift?
> 
> I must say I am glad that some of you feel so comfortable venting your HP frustrations with me, especially in regards to how much Severus is vilified in the fandom for his behavior as an adult. Do I approve or condone Adult Snape's actions? No. But that doesn't mean I do not see how a childhood of abuse, harassment, and zero support can shape an individual well into adulthood, especially in a series where therapist do not seem to exist. In fact, his actions as a teen mirror my own. To compensate for the feeling of helplessness in childhood, I developed a mean streak verbally when upset. It was rare, usually when I felt absolutely wretched (like when I thought someone was making fun of my father; the one pillar of safety and support I had back then), but when it came, watch out. I once told a girl (the one I thought making fun of my father for his poor health and weight and laborious job) that I was glad her cousin drowned to death a year earlier. I regret that to this day and have since worked on my temper, to not let it control me when I feel trapped or lost, but it is easy to see how I developed such a tendency. Not excusable, but explainable.
> 
> So anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!
> 
> Read and Review!


	54. The Transfer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some quality time and barroom visits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loving all this feedback, people! Seriously you guys are awesome. 
> 
> I really mean it. Your advice and critiques, your theories and predictions are wonderful because it lets me know how invested you are in this story. 
> 
> Bringing some coupley stuff and a secret meeting in this chapted. 
> 
> Blam!

* * *

While the appearance of the  _Daily Prophet_  didn't ruin Christmas at the Evans's household, the article had exactly the effect on the Wizarding World that Severus predicted. According to letters from Severus and Lily's friends, magical communities all over the British Isles were abuzz with gossip and speculation over both Severus's home life and his former ties to Voldemort's followers.

Letters came in daily to the ministry demanding answers on the case of Tobias's death, many people wanting to know if a murderer was in their midst and inquiring about the safety of their families. Since Severus's current address couldn't be released, people wrote to the papers instead. Letters posted in the community section of the  _Prophet_  expressed pity and sympathy for Severus's mistreatment at the hands of his father and outrage that it had gone unnoticed for so long. Some even ridiculed the school for not intervening sooner.

There were also who held onto old house biases and jumped on the implication of Severus being connected in any way to the Death Eaters. People threw about insane theories about Severus's near death at the beginning of summer to be a scheme by You-Know-Who to martyr Severus to the general public so that he could act at behest of the Dark wizard without suspicion. Other's claimed that Tobias's death was his reward for carrying out the scheme, or a peace offering to tempt him into rejoining if his betrayal of them was genuine. The rumors varied from there into claims that he had killed his own father, all the way down to insinuations that he was a vampire or other dark creature.

There was even one about him supposedly being a thirty-year-old man trapped in a teenager's body, sent from the future to change his past. Then again, that one came from a local barfly, Bethsheba Rapshe, who regularly wrote into the Daily Prophet about spotting creatures never proven to exist or that she dated Merlin's reincarnation.

Severus had no doubt at least one rumor or two came from Potter and Black. If not, they were at least fanning the flames; this was too perfect an opportunity to discredit him for them to pass up.

Of course, with the flood of sympathy and anger at Severus's abusive father came those who sought to take advantage of the situation to push various agendas. The most prominent one, unsurprisingly, was anti-muggle sentiments. People, oftentimes anonymous, wrote into the Prophet or whispered around Diagon Alley about Tobias's crueltry being proof muggles posed a real threat to wizards and witches. Citing Snape Senior's willingness to harm his own child for possessing magic, many blood purist claimed muggles to be violent beings that lashed out at the gifted and magical out of jealousy and greed. They insisted that more acts like this would follow, committed by muggles seeking to wipe out wizard kind and by muggleborns envious of purebloods's far superior magic.

"What bunk!" Lily exclaimed, scowling over the paper one morning. She and Severus were sharing the window seat that overlooked the back garden, enjoying breakfast and each other's company while Lily's parents were at the market and Petunia was visiting friends. Curled up besides one another with some tea and toast, Lily's head and Severus's shoulder, the very domestic scene would have been wonderful if not for the distasteful commentary from an anonymous 'concerned citizen' glaring up at them from the paper.

Lily frowned in disgust at the article, "Superior? They honestly think the strength of magic is the result of 'good breeding' or something? The Carrows claim their ancestry nearly traces back to Merlin himself and Alecto nearly burned her brother's face off while attempting a levitation spell. They're two halves of a whole idiot!"

"Not to mention their family's history of mental impairments and physical disfigurements," Severus added between bites of toast, "Result of inbreeding; some purebloods honestly think generations of misshapen morons is worth it to 'keep the bloodline pure'. Pretty stupid risk considering there has been no credited research or study proving blood lines are themselves responsible for the strength of one's magic."

"Dumbledore always said magic was the luck of the draw," Lily stated, "You could come from an entire family of purebloods and still wind up a squib while a muggle family could randomly produce the next great wizard of the ages. Blood might not have much to do with it at all."

"Try telling a stuffy pureblood that sometime," Severus scoffed, "Even the pro-muggle ones seem to think heredity contributes to the ability of their children. Augusta Longbottom is likely to expect any child her son as to be as adept at magic as he is."

"And Alice said she's hard to please," mused Lily sadly, "I feel sorry for any grandchild that has to live up to her expectations."

"I just feel sorry for Frank," Severus muttered, "Speaking of him, this letter of his says the Auror office got back to him and approved my request for warding the house. Someone from their department should stop by in about a week or so to do it; a patronus will arrive the day before to give us the actual date and time to expect them."

Lily sighed in relief, "Well that's good. With all this renewed fuss over things in the paper, it would be nice to know we have some security here. I'd rather not start getting unwanted visits from crazed fans or dissenters should anyone manage to get our address."

"Good thing the law would have Rita's head if she released it in one of her articles," Severus said, "But who's to say she won't let it slip verbally to someone and get the news spreading through word of mouth. Better to have the wards up just in case."

Lily hummed her agreement, thumbing through the  _Prophet_. Absentmindedly reaching for her cup of tea, she smiled in satisfaction when her hand found the cup, unaware of Severus casually sliding it towards her as she groped blindly around the table. He even reheated it with a simple wandless bit of magic before Lily even brought the cup to her lips.

"Mmm," Lily groaned happily, "Petunia makes the best tea. So glad she left some for us."

"And how she keeps it at just the right temperature will forever be a mystery," Severus said causally, a knowing smirk on his face.

"I know, right?" Lily agreed, clueless.

Severus just continued to smirk.

Lily flipped to the other side of the  _Prophet_  to continue reading.

"Look here," she said, "Dumbledore finally has something to say about this whole issue."

"One can only hope it's better than cryptic letter he sent me," Severus groused. The morning after Christmas, a letter from Dumbledore arrived by owl outside Severus's window. Inside the contents were vague and nondescript, the headmaster offering condolences for Severus's loss while not committing to a concise answer on whether Severus should view the death as a warning or offering. Instead, he offered up advice on trusting one's own judgement and something about light always being brightest in the dark or some other nonsense. Severus couldn't really say it surprised him to get such useless words from the man.

"He's seems to be avoiding any accusations about you," Lily revealed, examining the article before her, "Let's see here… 'We must direct our attention to the truth. You-Know-Who is targeting our youth, be it for violence or manipulation. He is taking advantage of those who have faced hardships, exploiting their traumas for his own gain. We must be there for our children now more than ever, to lead them off the darken path.' Hmmm, that's seems to be it," Lily finished looking up at Severus.

Severus finished the last of his toast, graciously accepting the napkin Lily offered without being asked.

"Well at least he didn't wax poetic about my 'traumas' personally," Severus conceded, taking the paper from Lily, "Though anyone with a brain would know he's referring to me. Not sure I appreciate being portrayed as some sniveling simpleton that was preyed upon by You-Know-Who."

"I hardly doubt that was his intent," Lily said, plucking the paper from Severus hands and folding it up, "And he's not wrong about people being taking advantage of; you know Lucius and his friends misused your trust terribly. Dr. Marcus said there is nothing wrong in acknowledging your victimhood; being a victim means someone hurt you and the blame rests with them, not you."

"Yes but that technically only partially applies to me," Severus pointed out, "With you its obvious: no one should have ever attacked you in any form. But with me…yes they used me, but you can't deny I let some of it happen even after I knew what they were doing. I was angry enough about my life to be willing to put up with it in order to get my way. That doesn't exactly make me blameless. Look at all the things I turned a blind eye to, things you pointed out countless times. It wasn't that I didn't know; I just didn't want to care."

"You were also isolated in a place where saying no would have gotten you hurt," Lily shot back, "I know that now, and it's why it still bothers me that I never realized how alone you were in Slytherin. You literally were sleeping in a snake pit; all these Death Eaters in training just waiting for the Half-Blood to cross them so that they could strike," Lily cuddled closer to Severus, "I had all the back-up and support I could ever want and you just had…well, you."

"I had you," Severus murmured into Lily's hair, running his fingers through her soft locks, "You didn't know what was going on because I never told you. It wasn't very fair of me to expect you to understand when I wasn't even willing to tell you what I was dealing with."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Lily asked, "Simone had to practically hit me in the face with the truth before I ever knew."

Severus thought long and hard about his answer. He carded his fingers through Lily's hair for a few minutes in silence before giving a response.

"I guess I didn't want you to think less of me," he confessed, "When we were kids, you looked up to me like I had all the answers and I liked being the one who was sought after for a change. When we got to school, I fell to the bottom of the pecking order instantly. I was the creepy kid, the weird one."

Severus sighed, "I was humiliated enough on a daily basis by Potter and the others; I didn't want you to know I was un-liked even in Slytherin. I didn't think you'd want to hang out with the most hated person in school."

"You weren't the most hated," Lily soothed, "Some people didn't like you, but most barely even knew who you were; it was mostly people in our year who picked on you. I'd say any of your former friends were more despised, simply because they made a reputation for themselves of picking on anyone and everyone. I can think of plenty of lower years who had never heard your name before that day on the train, but every first and second year knows who Wilkes or Rosier are."

Lily almost added that Severus shouldn't be so quick to think she'd abandon him over everyone else's opinion, but shamefully she'd almost done just that at the end of fifth year. Her confrontation with Simone had thrown that fact in her face. It was regrettable to admit, but Lily had already been growing fatigued by her other friends' constant naggings long before Severus had called her a mudblood. Her own inability to withstand other's judgement and cruelty nearly cost her someone very special to her.

Lily pressed herself tighter to Severus. Thinking about how easily she almost cut him out of her life made her heart feel as if it were caught in a vice.

"Well I was probably the loneliest kid in school," Severus bargained, "Rosier and Wilks may be despised or feared, but they always had an assortment of cronies or followers that flocked to them. People stick by them because they're either in awe of their cruelty or hoping to avoid being the next target. I was mostly the latter; had to keep admiring someone's skills and power when they use it on random harmless first years instead of actual enemies."

"You wanted to learn how to defend yourself from Potter and your father, while they just wanted to hurt anyone and everyone for fun," Lily surmised understandingly.

Severus nodded, "I mean, I can admit there were times I found some amusement or…satisfaction in their actions, especially against Gryffindors. It was really just the relief that someone else was getting it worse than me at the time. But sometimes, the people they targeted, they looked so pathetic, so hurt at even a simple hex…the look they'd give you…"

Severus sighed, "Sometimes it was like seeing myself and that just made everything worse."

"But feeling remorse is what makes you different than your housemates," Lily said, "Empathy; that's something I doubt they feel much of."

"They most likely don't know the meaning of the word," Severus scoffed.

"You know, it's not often you open up to me like this," Lily observed, taking Severus's hand and lacing their fingers together, "You usually clam up or keep things simple…this is nice."

Severus snorted, "I hardly see what's so good about it; I've effectively dampened the whole morning with my commiserating my own selfish choices."

"Nothing's dampened," Lily chided, "Don't be so dramatic. I like it when you share with me. I feel special that you trust me so much," she poked Severus's cheek with her free hand, "I'm sort of jealous of Marcus. He gets to see so much of the real you."

Severus batted Lily's hand away with a chuckle.

"You see plenty the real me plenty," he said, "Marcus just gets the pleasure of suffering through my obsessive, neurotic side. Goody for him."

"There's a 'neurotic Severus' now?" Lily asked with a laugh, "I've met picky Severus, finicky Severus, even 'so serious he's got a stick up his bum' Severus. But I've never met Neurotic Severus. What does he do? Does he proofread his homework five time in a row instead if four? Organize his notes by color-coding? Iron his underwear?"

"Ha-ha," Severus said sarcastically, "Aren't we the comedian? Are you quite done?"

Lily held up a finger, laughing a little bit more to herself. Finally, she settled, "Now I'm done."

Leaning back against Severus, she smiled, "In all seriousness, though, I am glad you feel you can be yourself around me. I used to see some of the real you when we were kids, but even then you were so guarded about yourself. You told me everything there was to know about the wizard world, but never," she turned to look at him, "Your world. We mostly kept focus on me. How I was doing, if me and my sister were getting along. You didn't talk about yourself often."

"I didn't want to scare you off," Severus told her, "As it was, your parents were probably wary knowing I came from a rougher part of town; if they'd known just how bad it was, they probably would never have wanted you around me."

"More like my mum would have kidnapped you and stuffed you silly with home cooking," Lily giggled, "You know my parents never had a problem with you or where you came from. It was who you came from that they didn't like."

"Well he's dead now and we can all rest easier at night," Severus concluded with a stretch.

Lily frowned, unamused, "Try not to look so pleased about it; bastard or not, him being murdered isn't exactly a good thing."

Severus shrugged, "I wasn't saying it was. Trust me, I don't find the idea of some killer running around any more comforting then you do. But being worried about who did it doesn't make his death any less welcome. I'm telling you, if it turned out to be some random guy just trying to end a terrible man's life, I might thank them…if it's You-Know-Who then we've got bigger problems to worry about."

"Like him or his followers being so close to home," Lily shuddered.

"Hence the wards Frank will have put up," Severus said, pulling Lily closer, "And you know I'll always be here to protect you."

"Only as long as you let me protect you," Lily challenged, "I'd prefer to have you not running off to get killed, thank you."

Severus rolled his eyes dramatically, "Nearly get my head cut off  _one time_  and you're branded reckless for life."

"For good reason," Lily scolded, elbowing him. Her expression sobered, "I mean it though, I don't want you throwing your life away for me. It's clear things are escalating out there and I don't want to lose you, Severus."

"You couldn't lose me if you tried," Severus promised, pecking Lily on the lips.

"I'll hold you to that," Lily warned, returning the kiss. Slowly, the kiss deepened, the pair melting together seamlessly. As Severus's hands went around Lily's waist, Lily's threaded through Severus's hair, drawing him in closer. Keeping a respectful, reserved hold on Lily's waist, Severus moved his lips against her own experimentally, testing what felt right and natural.

Things had been getting easier with them, more relaxed and carefree. Kissing still brought butterflies to both their stomachs, but there was an air of confidence about them, as if they were finally starting get the hang of it. Their noses still butted occasionally, but for the most part, but they were working on that.

Lily was almost in Severus's lap, so lost in the moment, when the click of the front door being unlocked reached her ears.

"Lily?" Petunia voices traveled down the hall, "Severus? Are you two home?"

"We're here," Lily called back, putting a little space between her and Severus on the window seat. She smoothed out the rumples in her clothes while Severus smoothed his hair down.

Petunia came around the corner into the room, a few bags in her arms, "Finally done exchanging gifts with everyone I shopped for," she declared, "I got this cute little skirt from Allison, Lily. You just have to see it."

She paused, taking notice of Severus's flushed face and Lily's breathless look.

"Am I…interrupting something?" she asked suspiciously.

"No," Lily said a bit too quickly, "We were just reading. You know, the paper…having breakfast. Weren't we, Sev?"

"It's a very interesting read," Severus said awkwardly, avoiding looking at anyone.

"Right," Petunia drawled knowingly, a smirk appearing on her face, "Well I'm just going to put all this stuff away…I trust you two can keep your hands to yourself in the meantime?"

Lily's face went scarlet and Severus blushed all the way to his ears as Petunia waltzed out of the room cackling.

 

{page break}

 

In the dusty, dark corner of the equally dark and dusty Hog's Head inn sat a tall figure shrouded in shadows. Surrounded by the usual array of riff raff and ne'er do wells making of the bars patronage, he stood out very little by comparison. His height was a little above average, but that was not unusual a sight for a pub that welcomed in the most unwelcome of wizarding society such as half giants and werewolves. If not for the glittering of his blue eyes illuminated by the moonlight that seeped through the near impenetrable grime of the windows, you'd hardly know he was there at all.

The pub's door flew open, emitting an icy blast from outside that caused several patrons to grumble and shout about the cold. Others made little fuss, far too use to the chill always at their backs.

In with the cold came a bulky, haggard looking man. His face riddled with just as many scars as wrinkles, his mouth was set in a grimace as he clomped into the pub on one good leg and a wooden one. His remaining real eye narrowed as he took in various people scattered across the bar while a bulging, enchanted monstrosity rested in the other socket, swiveling in circles. The magical eye rolled up into the man's head and he turned to look at the corner behind him, at the figure cloaked in shadows.

Lumbering up to the mysterious figure, the man sat down at the table with a huff. As he did so, the shadowy figure raised their wand and a buzzing sound fell over their table.

"It's nasty out there," the haggard man said, commenting on the weather, "I'm surprised you picked here instead of flooing to my office."

The mystery person chuckled as they leaned forward, a long nose and bright blue eyes coming into view along with a voluminous white bread.

"I thought we might have this conversation where we were least expected to be," Dumbledore said, "With the reports flocking to the Ministry lately I doubt my presence there would go unnoticed for long."

"That's vigilant," Alastor Moody declared with a shrewd nod, "If folks thought you had any involvement in the investigations they'd really start panicking. Best keep them in the dark about things for now."

"Indeed," Dumbledore nodded, "Will the Auror's miss you? I understand tonight those two are scheduled to be transferred."

"I put my best men on the job," Moody assured, "Plus half the office. Things go smoother when I'm there, but I have confidence in my men. Trust me, Avery and Mulciber will make it to Azkaban without a hitch."

"I had heard to two were far more subdued as of late," Dumbledore remarked.

"That's true," Moody agreed, "Mulciber stopped crying about a week ago and we haven't heard so much as a peep from Avery in the holding cells. It's strange; that boy was all piss and vinegar when we first brought him in."

Moody signaled Abeforth to bring him a drink, the gruff, bearded man giving Dumbledore a derisive glare as he handed a lager to Moody.

"He could be expecting something," Dumbledore warned.

"Hence my best men taking this job," Moody replied, "Besides, the only reason we kept them out of Azkaban this long was to ensure their buddies would have no idea when they'd be transferred. Less information on our part, less organization on theirs." He hunkered forward, the candlelight casting shadows across his face, "But that's not what we came here to discuss, is it?"

Dumbledore nodded, "That is true. We have another matter that concerns me. What have you found?"

Moody leaned back in his chair, a frown on his face, "Just as you suspected, the death can't be contributed to natural causes. No heart failure, no underlying illness, no signs of trauma. The man just stopped breathing, Albus. It's congruent with the killing curse."

"Not a curse just anyone brandies about," Albus stated.

"No shit," Moody huffed, "There's more information coming in. Apparently there was no guard in that hall because they suddenly got a rather bad gash on their shoulder, can't explain how they got it. While they were having it looked at, the hall was void of any surveillance."

"And what do you think of that?" Albus questioned.

Moody fixed him with a hard stare, "You know what I think. The guard said they'd heard something before they were cut, someone said something. He couldn't make it out but next thing he knew he was bleeding like a facet," Moody shrugged, "He figured one of the inmates must have done it when he wandered too close to the door to their cell. Yet, when guards investigated the place later, they couldn't find one weapon on the prisoners nearest that section. Sounds to me like someone tried to off him with a curse and missed. He got lucky; reports say he came back to the cell to find the guy dead after he heard laughing…a woman laughing."

"Bellatrix," Dumbledore murmured.

"He's lucky all he got out of the night was a cut; Bellatrix must have been in a hurry or she would have stayed to finish him off."

"If she didn't stay to kill anyone else she must have been ordered to a very specific task," Dumbledore said, "That means Tobias Snape was her prime target."

"So that makes the rumors more than rumors, now doesn't it?" Moody growled, "This was a message to that boy. You think they believe they can win his favor by offing his old man?"

"I believe they are greatly underestimating a young man's convictions," Dumbledore said, "Voldemort understand natures of the heart very little, I doubt he thinks anyone would pass up power for love."

"You best be right about this boy, Albus," Moody warned, "You say he's on our side because his little girlfriend is and I'll take your word for now. Just know, I'm keeping my eye on him. It took a lot of pulling strings to get his hearing waived for the spell he created. A lot of paperwork I had to make disappear."

"With an added benefit for yourself," Dumbledore pointed out benignly.

Moody huffed, "Yeah, getting that spell approved for Auror use certainly gives us a better edge in this war. But it's a dangerous spell, Albus. Created by a mere kid. I'm putting a lot of trust in you that he's truly changed for the better, so don't make me regret it."

"I'm sure Severus will show himself to be quite the formidable ally for us," Dumbledore said enigmatically.

Moody drummed his fingers on the table, scowling at Dumbledore's infuriating smile.

"So what do we do for now?" he asked eventually, "They've got their eye on this kid too. We still don't know for sure if it's an invitation or a threat."

"For now we stay ever vigilant," Dumbledore advised with a slight smile, quoting his friend's favorite phrase, "Severus has already requested wards be placed around the Evans' house and Aurors will be watching after the family in secret. Once Severus returns to school, he will be under my protection and supervision."

"What of his mother?" Moody inquired, "The woman's shut herself away in some Home; hasn't gone outside in weeks."

"I want you to have someone watching her as well," Dumbledore instructed, "Regardless of whether Severus is a target, his loved ones could be used as collateral by the Death Eaters."

"Whether they want to induct him or incinerate him, either option he'd end up dead," Moody mused, "Death Eaters aren't known for keeping promises, and they tolerate failure very little. I've seen plenty of You-Know-Who's followers who screw up scattered in bits and pieces in the alleys."

"Which is why it is imperative we stop Severus from being one of those unfortunate few," Dumbledore said giving Moody with a stern look, "Treating him with the same bias that first pushed him down the wrong path will only cause him to second guess his choices now. He's shown remarkable strength through incredible hardship no child should have to go through."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Moody stated knowingly.

Dumbledore's normally twinkling eyes dimmed with sadness, "I have made many mistakes over the years, Alastor. Ones that my students have bared the consequences of, when it was not their responsibility. My misguided attempts to protect some of those in my care has cost others even the basic trust and security a child should be able to put in their elders; Severus is the prime example."

Dumbledore heaved a heavy sigh, "My own experiences with who Voldemort once clouded my judgment of all Sytherins, to the point that I'd forgotten the house was not founded on hatred alone. Severus's ambition was not born out of greed or thirst for power but a necessity and drive to survive to survive where he could not rely on the help of others."

"Not the first time someone let house bias cloud their judgment," Moody said with a shrug, "Slytherin alumni were garnering bad reputations for their House long before He started making a name for himself. Some felt emboldened by Grindelwald to be more vocal about blood purity, thought money and titles protected them from the repercussions of following his lead."

"But that is the very reason I shouldn't have been influenced by generalizations," Dumbledore said, "The very wizard inspiring the resurgence of dark magic and blood purity wasn't a Slytherin; Grindelwald wasn't even a former Hogwarts student. And it wasn't just Slytherins that became enamored with his ideals," this last part was said quieter, almost to himself, "Was it really so hard for me to believe that people with good intentions can be led astray? In trying to forget my own mistakes, I overlooked that others are capable of making the same ones."

"Getting a bit introspective there, Albus," Moody said with a wry grin.

Dumbledore allowed a small smile, the twinkle returning to his eyes, "Perhaps. Regardless, Severus isn't the only student I've unfairly judged and failed to give guidance to."

"Anyone in particular?" Moody asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Dumbledore replied, "My deputy Headmistress has informed me that all Hogwarts letters addressed to Sirius Black, grades or otherwise now redirect themselves to the Potter residence and have been doing so for over a year. Given how strongly aligned his family is with Voldemort, it comes as no surprise to me that tension over his sorting with prompt him to move elsewhere, but now I find myself questioning if the decision was based on more than a wish to distance himself from parental disappointment. One has to wonder how much pressure he was facing at home."

Moody took a gulp of his drink, wiping his mouth off on the back of his hand, "You think the younger Black might have the same reservations is brother did?"

Dumbledore nodded, "I have been observing him this past term. His fondness for House Elves reminds me greatly of his cousin Andromeda own love and respect for other magical beings, if not far more discreet and subdued. He lacks the propensity for violence Bellatrix showed in school, as well as the indifference to the suffering of others that Narcissa had. With his timidity, it's possible much of his drive to join the Death Eaters is really a desire to please his parents."

Moody chuckled, "You plan to try and take this one under your wing as well."

"Surely a child deserves an alternative to becoming a murderer?" Dumbledore said.

Before Moody could respond, a streak of light shot through the window, blinding him. When his vision cleared, both he and Dumbledore were looking at the glowing image of a lynx on their table.

"Kingsley!" Moody exclaimed.

" _Death Eaters intercepted the prisoner transfer,"_ came Kingsley's harried voice,  _"Bellatrix Lestrange and five masked individuals. Three Auror's dead, two injured."_

" _Mulciber and Avery have escaped,"_  his last words hung heavily in the air as the Lynx patronus vanished into thin air.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bum bum BUM!
> 
> Saddle up your drama llamas, the next few chapters will begin to dole it out!
> 
> Wondering how you lot will respond to this more considerate Dumbledore. Don't get me wrong, he's still an ass who puts too much of the weight of the world on his students he deems worthy, but he is still a human capable of remorse and feeling guilt and regret. I think to some degree, he sees in Severus a parallel to himself. Albus nearly succumb to the dark side of magic for love, one that ultimately wasn't returned (or was broken by the death of his sisters; they never confirm if Gellert ever returned hi feelings) whereas Severus was brought out of darkness by love. The difference between Severus and Dumbledore is the things Severus loved Lily for, the kindness, the consideration, the compassion, are things that didn't exist in Gellert. Loving Gellert for his mind and intellect, blinded Albus to the true darkness in the man's heart.
> 
> Don't forget to review ;)


	55. Dark Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily deal with the news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome back!
> 
> As per usual, a big, fabulous thank you to everyone who reviewed, faved, left kudos, etc. Your continuing discussions and opinions are wonderful. :)
> 
> So, big heads up on this chapter: there's a trigger warning.
> 
> Nothing too bad, but this does bring up the concept of dubious consent, in this case someone pursuing sex they do not actually want.
> 
> That being said there is NO RAPE in this chapter. Nor sex.
> 
> This warning will make more sense once you read the chapter.

* * *

It was a dark morning in the Evans household.

Sitting in silence around the breakfast table, Willow, Hank, and Petunia attempted and failed to act casual. Beside Hank, Severus sat staring into a cup of black coffee, no longer warm, never even sipped. He shot discreet glances to the redhead on his left as Lily stared vacantly into the distance, mechanically eating her porridge.

Spread out before everyone on the table was the  _Daily Prophet_ , the front page baring an alarming headline for all to see:

 

**Death Eaters Ambush Prisoner Transfer**

**Criminals on the Loose!**

 

The story detailed the sudden appearance of Death Eaters, led by Bellatrix Lestrange, upon the transfer party midway to Azkaban prison. At least three Aurors lost their lives in the initial firefight, two others severely injured. This number didn't remain long, as by the time Moody and back-up arrived, the body count had risen on both sides, a ten Aurors casualties to the DE's seven. Captured Death Eaters included Wilks Senior and Lancaster Travers. Bellatrix, however, managed to escape, taking advantage of the chaos to take Avery and Mulciber with her. As of early morning when the papers went out, there was no news on the escaped prisoners' whereabouts, nor any leads.

This news was naturally receiving very poorly by Lily's family. Horrified and angered that such a thing could happen, Willow and Hank were at a loss for how to comfort their daughter. For years, they'd taught their girls to put their trust in police, in authority figures sworn to protect and uphold justice. It was the level of security a step above their own, for when the strength and will of good old mom and dad was not enough to assure their girls that they were safe.

Now the law had failed their youngest, losing track of her attacker in what should have been a routine transfer. And the law in question possessed magic; if they couldn't be expected to protect their little girl, then who could?

Instead, they clung to muggle ideals of home security, unwilling to acknowledge how futile it might be against something like magic. Hank went over in his head all the places in the attic he'd stored his old hunting rifle and equipment, while Willow had plans to look into perhaps purchasing a guard dog. Severus, having heard their whispered discussion early that morning when he woke up, didn't have the heart to tell them a dog was no use against wand, and there were little records of successful kills to wizards by guns, considering apparition and disillusion gave many the advantage of escape.

If they were lucky, they'd never have to put either option to the test. A patronus of a Basset hound arrived shortly after the start of breakfast to inform them all a warding expert in the Auror department would be over that afternoon. The defenses going up would hopefully lay everyone's worries to rest.

It probably would not assuage Severus's concerns, though. Mulciber was a follower and a coward; it was very unlikely he'd pose further threat to anyone on his own. With his decrying of You-Know-Who's cause there wasn't much risk of him being used in attacks. If he was allowed to live at all for his betrayal, chances are he'd be kept as little more than a battered reminder to others to not fail as great as he did. He'd be little more than a human House elf to the cause now, sniveling, serving the more dangerous followers while praying a wand was never turned on him.

Avery though, was a different story. While normally more subdued and discreet in school over his alignment in the growing war, when crossed Avery showed a surprising level of viciousness. He was similar to a trained animal at the circus, willing to perform, tame as you please, until you poke him too hard or annoy him too greatly. Then he'd strike with calculated precision, all venom and fangs.

While far from scholarly and barely average in intelligence, Avery demonstrated a surprising amount of cunning when angered. He lack the foresight to prepare for possible consequences, even lacking the common sense to avoid someone catching him, but the actual vengeance he implemented was oftentimes harsh and brutal. It was only Roiser and the older Slytherins' influence in the school that kept some of Avery's nastier actions hidden behind the closed doors of their common room, where housemates often met his wrath in place of those who angered the boy.

Now he was free of the mask he'd been expected to wear at school. A self-confirmed Death Eater; he no longer had to mask his intentions and had the freedom to act indiscriminately however he chose. His unpredictability when mad made him a bit of a wild card for Severus. He most certainly hated Severus and Lily for his incarceration, but whether he'd seek them out wasn't necessarily guaranteed.

For years, Avery kept up the mask of a neutral or mildly biased student at school by redirecting his anger onto people he could get away with hurting. So used to taking his anger out on who was available rather than who was to blame, he'd grown accustom to simply receiving the satisfaction of revenge without context. In his mind, someone, anyone, was hurt and therefore he was appeased.

Which was why it was so hard to guess whether he'd carry out his promise of revenge on Lily and Severus. He could come after him or he could very well feed his lust for violence with some unsuspecting witch, wizard, or muggle at random. It generally didn't matter who upset or wronged him so long as someone paid for it as soon as possible. It could very well be that Avery would grow impatient waiting for the opportunity to present itself to get Severus and Lily and just move onto to someone else.

Regardless, Severus didn't wish to take chances. Avery was a monster, rival to that of Bellatrix. For years, Severus thought no one compare to the eldest Black daughter in terms of cruelty and inhumanity. Her appetite for pain and misery was insatiable, found in the most innocent of creatures. Bellatrix's penchant for harming animals and children borderlined on predilection, a desire for suffering that turned even the hardest man's stomach.

Now came Avery with his abhorrent willingness to violate someone in the most unforgivable of ways and it seemed he and Bellatrix were far more similar than first thought. While Bellatrix herself never showed an interest in victimizing her targets in such a manner, she reveled in the carnal misdeeds of the male Death Eaters, lording female victims' helplessness and terror over them during the act. She showed an utter lack of empathy for her own gender and sex, enjoying the pain of her fellow women. Severus shuddered to think what a pair Avery and Bella would make if partnered together for an attack; the pair were savage by themselves.

Severus rubbed at his neck self-consciously. Ever since the paper first arrived, he kept having little phantom pains where his scar rested on his throat. He'd experienced a few sporadic ones early on in the healing process, but now they were coming every few minutes. Clearly it was all in his head, but it didn't do much to ease the bubbling well of anxiety inside him. Perhaps another session with Marcus was in order. It'd been a few weeks since he last saw the muggle doctor.

Severus side-eyed Lily; he wondered if she would send a letter to Professor Sprout due to this new development. The woman had helped her greatly back at school. It was either that or try and convince Lily to see Marcus with him and even though Lily knew Marcus was a nice man, Severus doubted she would feel completely comfortable discussing her trauma with someone sharing the same anatomy as her attacker. Then again, she'd been doing fairly well around boys for a while now…maybe she'd be alright with a male doctor…?

"Lily," Severus began only to stop when said redhead suddenly put her spoon down.

"I'm not very hungry," she declared monotonously. Pushing up from the table, she walked rigidly out of the room without another word.

"Lily," Severus called after her, standing up as well. He paused to give a polite smile to Lily's parents, "Breakfast was lovely, Willow. Please excuse me." He hurried off after Lily.

Severus found Lily not in her own room, but his. Sitting on the bed staring at the hands in her lap, Lily looked neither sad nor angry. Just lost.

"They'll be caught, Lily," Severus assured, though he doubted the conviction of his own words, "They won't get us."

Lily didn't give any indication she was listening, continuing to stare off into space.

Severus licked his lips, trying again, "The wards will be up this afternoon. It'll be safe here."

Lily's eyes flickered up to Severus for a moment, and then dropped back down to her lap.

"They'd have to be crazy to attack a house that's heavily guarded," Severus reasoned.

"They had to be crazy to attack us on a busy train in broad daylight," Lily said suddenly.

Silence hung heavy between them after that statement.

Severus looked off to the side, ashamed he had no rebuttal to that argument.

"They don't care about consequences," Lily said eventually, breaking the silence, "They barely consider that they can get caught, and that just means there's little chance they'll restrain themselves to avoid discovery."

Lily laughed, just a single, hollow chuckle, "They're stupid, but that just makes it scarier. Someone smarter might not act at all out of fear of arrest. But them, they'll probably come charging in here without a second thought."

"And the wards will bring the Aurors here straight away," Severus said.

"And how quickly will that be?" Lily challenged. She looked away sadly, "A lot can be done in a matter of minutes, Sev. It only took a second for me to nearly lose you."

"But you didn't lose me," Severus said softly.

Lily wiped her eyes with a sniffle. Quickly getting up from the bed, she went to Severus's side, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

Severus returned her embrace, "I'm here for you, Lily," he promised, "Avery can't tear me away."

Sniffling, Lily squeezed Severus tighter.

"But what if it isn't Avery," she asked, "Lucius threat was pretty clear; they're after you. What if they send someone else; someone stronger?"

"Then I will fight like a rabid dog," Severus said with resolve, "I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, Lily."

"That's what they're counting on," Lily whimpered, tucking herself further into Severus's arms, "I'm the bargaining piece."

Severus wraps his arms around Lily tighter, "No you're not."

"But I am," Lily insisted, pulling back some to look at him, "Severus, promise me you won't join them for me. I don't care what they promise you, whether it's to kill me or spare me. Just promise that you won't."

Severus sighed, not this again, "Lily, we've been over this…"

"Promise me," Lily repeated.

"I promise," Severus said firmly. It baffled his mind how Lily honestly still thought that a risk for him. He wasn't stupid; he knew a trap when he saw it. Lucius just wanted to trick him.

"Good," Lily said. She leaned up and kissed him.

Severus returned the kiss, expecting the usual sweet, slow indulgences as of late. Therefore, it came as a surprise to him when the kiss turned harsher, more urgent.

Lily clung to Severus fiercely, digging her hands into his hair and holding on tight. Kissing with bruising force, Lily pressed herself as close to Severus as possible.

Severus welcomed the urgency, threading one hand through Lily's hair and placing the other low on her back, groaning when Lily bit his lip lightly.

It wasn't until he realized he was being moved that Severus started to question things.

"Lily," he began, his voice muffled as Lily mashed her lips against his again.

Severus tried not to trip as Lily walked backwards, pulling him along without breaking the kiss. Confusion rolled inside him as he attempted to extract himself from Lily's arms to ask just what it was she thought she was doing.

Suddenly, Lily took Severus by the shoulders, moving them around to switch places.

The back of Severus's knees hit his bed and he fell backwards in alarm, "What?"

Lily was on him in a heartbeat. Resuming their kiss, Lily straddled Severus working at the button on his nightshirt.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked when Lily broke the kiss.

"Just go with it, Sev," Lily whispered, "Let's just…Let's just enjoy it."

"Lily," Severus protested, "Lily wait!" Severus managed to push Lily back a bit, faltering her movements.

"Lily, think about what you're doing for a minute," Severus insisted, "This is crazy."

"But why is it crazy?" Lily asked, "You want me, I want you. Can't we just…be together and forget everything else for a minute." She reached for the waist of Severus's pants.

Severus grabbed hold of Lily's hands, "Lily, stop," he said sharply, "Listen to yourself. This isn't like you."

Lily refused to meet Severus's eyes. Feebly, she tried to tug her hands out of Severus's grip, but he held form.

"Would it really be so bad if we did this," Lily asked softly, "I mean…it should be with someone I want...Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do," Severus said. It was honestly killing him to have Lily so close, practically offering herself on a silver platter, "But is it really what you want?"

Lily looked away, her eyes red rimmed. She muttered, Severus straining to hear it.

"Avery can't take it away if I give it to you…"

Understanding flooded Severus features. Carefully, he loosened his grip, gingerly taking Lily's hands in his own.

"That's not a reason to lose your virginity, Lily," he said softly, "Think about it: do you honestly want your first time to be like this?"

Lily didn't answer him.

"Do you?" Severus pushed.

Worrying her lip between her teeth, Lily shook her head, her eyes watery.

"But what if he comes back," Lily whispered brokenly.

"Then he'll have to go through me," Severus stated, "I'm not going to let him hurt you again."

Severus pulled Lily into his arms, backing up to rest against the headboard. He let Lily cling to him as they stared out the window at the gloomy, cloudy sky.

A small immature part of Severus's was yelling at him that he'd missed a chance in a lifetime with Lily, but he ignored it. Instead, he found his resolve growing stronger. He would protect Lily.

Glancing at his trunk by the bed, Severus considered the books locked away inside, the notes he'd written over the years.

Maybe it was time to bring back a spell or two.

 

{page break}

 

James scowled down at the Daily Prophet.

"Blast the lot of those good for nothing Aurors," he grumbled.

"Something got your knickers in a twist, Prongs?" Sirius asked, lying on his stomach on the floor.

James and his friends commandeered the Potter sitting room for the day, each taking up space in a comfy chair or sprawled across the plush rug by the fire.

"The bloody rotters escaped, Padfoot," James explained, smacking a hand on the paper, "Now those lunatics are roaming the countryside doing Merlin knows what!"

"They could be dead, James," Remus reasoned, "There was a lot of pandemonium during the attack, and neither Avery nor Mulciber were ever good duelists. For all we know, they got hit with a spell or splinched when Bellatrix fled."

"Or my cousin used them as a punching bag the second they were miles away," Sirius suggested, "As 'punishment' for failing her precious master. Knowing her, she'd get carried away and kill them."

Peter nodded, "I don't think Mulciber made himself too many friends on the dark side after selling them out during the trial," he stroked the fur of the big, fat tabby lounging in his lap, "Maybe he was broken out to be tortured."

"The point is no one knows where they are and Lily's in danger," James fumed, "How incompetent can those Aurors get? They're supposed to catch dark wizards; not lose to them."

"Technically, they did catch some of them," Remus pointed out, looking up from his word search, "Including Wilks's father."

Sirius snickered, "Can't wait to see that sod when we return to school. He won't be so high and mighty then."

James threw his hands up in the air, "You aren't taking this seriously! Those bastards are out there somewhere and they could strike at any moment. What if one of them goes after Lily again?"

"I doubt the ministry will leave her unprotected, James," Remus said.

James huffed, "How can we count on them to protect her, when they couldn't even prevent this escape?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "You seem an awful lot worried about her, but I think Avery represents a threat to everyone, don't you think? Perhaps you should send off a letter to Jess to see how she's fairing with this news. I bet she's as scared as any girl out there."

James flushed, "W-well I…Lily was targeted by Avery. She's at a higher risk than everyone else. Just because I've moved on doesn't mean I don't worry about her, Moony. She has been through a lot."

"She has," Remus agreed, "And I'm sure she has plenty of people there for her right now."

"Like Snape," Sirius put in, "He probably can't wait to comfort her."

"That's another thing," James blurted out, pointing at Sirius, "Snape's pretty fishy in all this."

Remus quirked a brow, "How so?"

"First his father died under mysterious circumstances," James began, "And now Avery and Mulciber escape. Doesn't that all seem too coincidental?"

Sirius hummed in agreement, "You heard what the papers said, Moony. This could be some arrangement between him and his Slytherin friends. They kill his old man, he lets go of his grudge over Avery trying to kill him."

"I hardly think that's the case," Remus said, unimpressed.

"He had to have hated his dad, Moony," Sirius insisted, "I bet he'd give anything to have that guy kick the bucket."

"I'd probably feel the same," Peter admitted quietly, staring pensively into the fire, "If my parents treated me like that. It sounds pretty awful."

"Now don't go feeling sorry for Snivellous, Wormtail," Sirius said with a snort, "The crab apple couldn't have fallen far from the tree. If Snape's dad is a bastard, Snape is probably ten times worse."

"That's not exactly a fair assessment," Remus scolded disapprovingly, "It sounds like Snape had a very bad childhood. It's not something to be made fun of."

Sirius waved him off, "I'm not making fun of anything. I'm just saying maybe Snape did something to deserve it. Who hasn't want to take a swing at him?"

Remus spied Peter looking uncomfortably at Sirius; it seemed he didn't quite agree with making light of this either.

"Still," Peter began, "It must be hard to grow up like that…I don't think I'd ever want to go home if it were me." Peter looked away guiltily and Remus could only imagine what he was thinking; they made Snape's life miserable at school.

"Well now he doesn't have to go home," James stated, "And his Death Eater pals had something to do with it, I'm sure. Merlin only knows where he's staying now."

"Probably taken in by one of his Death Eater friends," Sirius mused, flipping through his motorcycle magazine, "Ooh! Now this one I like."

"The bike or the half-naked girl straddling it?" Remus inquiring observantly.

Sirius flushed.

"A man can like two things," he grumbled.

"Well anyway," James went on, "Wherever that slimy snake is, I just hope it's far away from Evans. She doesn't need him skulking around her."

"Maybe he's living with her," Sirius joked, "She did say her parents 'adore him'."

"Don't even joke about that!" James ordered, "I don't even want to picture him sleeping under the same roof as her."

"Once again, you have a girlfriend," Remus reminded him.

"I'm concerned as a friend, Moony," James snapped, "Snape's bad news and I don't want her—anybody—to get hurt by him. He has to be involved in all this somehow."

Remus sighed, "I really don't think—"

"They did say most of the Death Eater wore masks during the attack," Sirius pointed out, "So they could have been anyone."

"Exactly" James cried triumphantly, "Who's to say Snape wasn't one of those involved in the attack."

"Do you really think Snape would be walking free right now if they suspected him in the slightest?" Remus asked, "Dumbledore's vouched for him personally."

"Dumbledore's gone barmy," Sirius said dismissively, "Has been for years. I used to think he was alright, but the fact that he didn't get rid of the whole Slytherin house when he first became Headmaster shows his head's not on right."

"Wouldn't that just mean potential Slytherins would be sorted into the other houses based?" Peter asked skeptically, "The hat has to put them somewhere."

Sirius glared at Peter, "Yeah, Azkaban."

"At age eleven?" Remus questioned doubtfully, "Really, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged, "Hey, all I'm saying is that Bellatrix was practicing unforgivables on neighbors' cats long before that. Evil has no age limit."

"Your cousin is an exceptional kind of crazy, Sirius," Remus said flatly, "I hardly think she represent all Slytherins' mental state."

Remus redirected his attention to James, "And you're pretty focus on your 'concern' for Lily, but what about Mary? She was attacked to and yet I don't hear you up in arms about her safety."

"Well…she's not spending the holidays with a scheming Snivellous," James stammered.

"But surely she's just as rattled as Lily is over the escape," Remus pointed out, "Shouldn't you be worried about her too? Maybe write inquiring how she is coping?"

Sirius snickered, "I'll write her."

Remus stared down at Sirius, his expression devoid of amusement, "I doubt she wants to be hit on right now, Sirius. Given the circumstances, frankly it would be distasteful."

"I was only joking," Sirius scowled.

"Sure you were," Remus said sarcastically, "Speaking of letters, Peter, I couldn't help but notice Marlene's address on an envelope by your front door when we picked you up. I didn't realize you two were friends."

"Well, we're not really," Peter denied awkwardly, "I mean, we never really spoke before the train ride home for Christmas. After she made me help with her luggage, I thought that was the end of it, but then she started owling me. She said if I didn't write back she'd come find me," Peter gulped, "And I bet she would."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, "Marlene's found she likes bossing Peter around! Can't say I don't see the appeal; you're really a pushover, Wormtail."

Peter flushed hotly.

Remus chucked a wadded up piece of paper at Sirius.

"Be nice," he scolded, before turning back to Peter, "It sounds like you've got a bit of a pen pal."

Peter nodded, "I've never written to a girl before…"

"Let alone spoken to one," Sirius whispered to James, only for another piece of paper to ricochet off his head.

Peter smiled gratefully at Remus, looking down at the cat sprawled out in his lap, purring loudly.

"It's weird how much she likes you," Sirius stated, staring at the cat.

Remus chuckled, "More like ironic."

James huffed, irritated with being ignored, "Well if no one else wants to care about the situation, then I will. I'm going to write to Lily—after I write to Mary, of course," he added hastily, shooting a quick look at Remus, "Just to check up on them."

"It better not be so you can bug Lily about Snape," Remus called out to his departing friend, "Dislike him all you want, but you promised to leave him alone this year. Sabotaging his friendships would fall under giving him trouble."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "What's with you lately, Moony. I know you said you wanted to be a better prefect, but for years you never cared what we did to Snivelly. Why start now?"

"He's been publicly humiliated, nearly lost a friend, and almost died in less than a year," Remus said matter of factly, "I find little joy in kicking someone while they're down. I've been the underdog enough times to know it isn't fun for anyone."

"You and Snivelly are nothing alike, Moony," Sirius said firmly, "You're one of the good ones, you know?"

"Well then I should act like one of the good guys, then shouldn't I?" Remus asked, closing his book, "Just something to think on. I'm going to get a snack."

He left Sirius mulling over his words in puzzlement.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning makes more sense now, doesn't it? 
> 
> If anyone is confused by Lily's behavior, there are various ways people cope with being sexually assaulted. For some, an aversion to touch can develop. A distrust of of those who resemble your attacker can occur, be it race, gender, or mannerisms. Some become more emotional, others more distant. Some of us shutdown. 
> 
> Some of us become a lot more sensitive to consent even in non-sexual scenarios. I became very hostile to people ignoring my bodily autonomy even in innocent scenarios. I hug and grope and get groped by my friends with no trouble at all because they know my boundaries and listen to me, but if someone ignored my boundaries or pushes after I've said stop, the gloves are off. If I said don't hug me and someone did it anyway, I got angry, really, REALLY angry. Someone held my hand without permission or touched my shoulder when I had already shrugged them off; I'd snap. Now I don't have an aversion to sex or sexual contact; I'm just asexual and don't crave it and pretty uninterested in it. Never been afraid of sexual encounters. But people need to LISTEN to me when I say what I do and don't like, even in innocent contact. Once at a party I was sitting on a friend's lap and he was running his fingers through my hair. Then he pulled it...do NOT pull my hair. he asked if it was okay and I told him it wasn't, made it very clear I did not like it and wanted him to stop. He said he understood. Then did it again. Hard. I nearly clawed his face off. 
> 
> There are also those who become very sexually active. It may seem odd or hypocritical to some of you, but to the survivor, they feel they are taking control back over their body by being very open to sexual encounters. In their mind; they are reclaiming themselves. Some even feel they will be preventing rape by just consenting to sex with people even when they do not actually like or want that person. These are just some of many ways a survivor might cope. No one who has gone through any of these methods should be judged for it, just better understood and given more support. 
> 
> Lily feels if she voluntarily loses her virginity, she is giving Avery (or anyone else) one less thing they could possible steal away from her. But having sex when you do not want it isn't healthy. It should be when you are emotionally ready for it. Lily isn't, she's just scared and confused. So Severus hit the brakes. 
> 
> Hope this chapter wasn't upsetting to anyone. I thought the Marauders might help ease back on the tension after all that. 
> 
> Review if you would be so kind :)


	56. Extreme Measures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus ups his defenses and Petunia meets someone new...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I have returned to you all. Are you sick of me yet :p
> 
> Thanks for all the awesome reviews and feedback as always. For those of you who are just joining us who have given feedback for earlier chapters; your advice and feedback is well received and appreciate, so don't think I am ignoring you if I don't address it or change things. It would be a little much to ask my readers to go back almost fifty chapters to reread things after I changed them, that's all. 
> 
> Get ready guys! Someone some of you might have hoped to never see is making an appearance!

* * *

Severus took a deep breath, readying his resolve. Standing over the dirty, drunken vagrant in the alleyway, Severus sneered down at the man. Steeling his senses against the barrage of unpleasant odors, the scent of filth and cheap whiskey, he waited patiently for the man to regather his wits. It took a few minutes for the drunk to fully come around, having only been roused moments prior by a kick to his leg Severus doled out with disdain.

When the man finally looked up at who woke him, blinking groggily the last remnants of a drunken stupor, Severus raised his wand and pointed it levelly between the man's eyes.

" _Legilimens,"_ Severus said forcefully.

In an instant, Severus was thrust forward into the man's mind, a swirling mass of tangled emotions and racing, scattered thoughts. They chattered and shouted at him from all sides, a myriad of chaos that made it hard to focus. Severus pushed onward against the current of disorganized recollections relentlessly. It took him a minute to fully direction his attention to one memory at a time, but eventually he managed to tune out all the noise to work through them one at a time.

Honing in one thought at random, he rummaged through the drunkard's memories as if leafing through a scrapbook, not really looking for anything of consequence.

He saw an image of the man tumbling down a flight of stairs, confused and disoriented, a half empty bottle crashing to the ground beside him. He witnessed the man barely clinging to consciousness in the hallway of a tattered home while a baby cried in the background and a woman sobbed, the man's shame the only emotions penetrating the drunken haze before the front door slammed shut.

Severus saw the man crouched behind a car, despair and longing swelling inside the memory as he watched a woman with a young child walk home with groceries on the other side of the street. Severus felt the man's sadness and resentment at the absence of a ring on the woman's finger.

Another memory sprung forward, a frenzied scene on a war torn battlefield. A younger version of the man trudged through the mud, pride and fatigue fighting for dominance among the arrogance of an optimistic youth. The imaged shifted to the man alone at the back of a funeral procession, an empty bottle clasped in his fist as he stared hollowly at the casket.

The memory that followed was more recent, the man closer to his current age. Severus watched as water swirled and churned beneath the bridge the man stood on, a near suffocating sense of fear and hopelessness hung cloyingly in the air. The man brought one foot up, hovering over the open air hesitantly out in front of him. After an agonizing amount of time, he pulled back and climbed back over the railing onto solid ground, the memory choking Severus with a surge of regret and self-loathing.

Severus pulled out of the man's mind with a gasp, stumbling back a few feet. Dizzy, overcome by the lingering emotions not his own, Severus swallowed back the bile in his throat, taking deep, gasping breaths. Steadying himself, Severus spared the drunk a glance, noting he'd slipped back into alcohol-fueled unconsciousness.

Severus took a moment to regain composure, running over the thoughts he'd seen inside the homeless man's mind. The man looked far more pitiable now, less contemptible.

Sighing, Severus fished through his pocket for some spare change. Dropping all he had next to the man, he headed home, making mental note of his findings.

This had been his most successful attempt yet. Normally, the mind was harder to breach and near impossible to sort through without severe strain on Severus's part. The memories inside were often blurry and muddled as he struggled to separate them, experiences and thoughts mixing together and distorting individual moments. This was the first time Severus was able to peer into some distinct memories, up until he was pushed out by the man's meager defenses.

Severus found it easier to work with vagrants and drunks, their minds more open and unguarded due to drugs or liquor. He'd read that using legilimency on a resisting mind caused the target pain and mental strain, so it was better to work with those so unaware of their surroundings he could slip in with ease. It came with the unwanted drawback of less coherent recollections, but Severus was only looking to practice right now so he didn't need the memories to properly recall an event.

It was actually quite interesting to how the distortion effected the mind's interpretation. Some of events he witnessed were pretty obvious and clear-cut, but the person's mind clouded itself with contradictory emotions, convictions made up of absolution of guilt in matters they were clearly at fault.

Severus tried to push aside the guilt he felt each time he made a successful connection. The memories he viewed were private, and given the circumstances of the poverty stricken, weary people he worked on, they were full of pain and hardships. Given his own reluctance to share his harrowing past with others, the hypocrisy of this invasion ate away at him. Occlumency came in handy for pushing the more prevalent feelings away, but it was still there at the back of his mind. He knew he'd loath to have someone privy to his most private thoughts, especially those of him at his weakness, so the very act of him doing this in turn made morbid fascination give way to wretchedness.

Lily certainly would be against these experiments, but then, she was the reason he started this. With their return to Hogwarts approaching in only a few days time, Severus needed to bolster his defenses. He couldn't rightly trust Rosier and his ilk wouldn't try anything against Lily or him. He could handle himself in a duel just fine, so he was confident he could take whatever they dished out, but Lily was a different story. Even if she won a duel, the very thought of her facing someone as devious as Rosier filled Severus with dread. If he truly wanted to keep her safe, he would need to preemptively put a stop to any plan against her.

Chances are Rosier was versed in at least some moderate Occlumency, his family probably wishing to prevent Legilimency wielding Auror—or headmaster—exposing their ties to You-Know-Who. Therefore, Severus would need to focus on Rosier's underlings, people he instructed on his plans.

Ever the clever Slytherin, Rosier collected an assortment of 'friends' who were unremarkable and overlooked. Dismissed as little more than mindless social climbers Rosier kept around to boost his ego with their praise, they made perfect followers few would suspect to be trusted with pertinent information. They were Severus's prime means of obtaining any secrets Rosier had that could prove harmful to Lily or anyone else and Severus fully intended to exploit that. There was also the chance Rosier knew where Avery and Mulciber were; something Severus was very keen on finding out.

Of course, he'd have to keep it secret from Lily. He could understand why someone who went through what she did would object to the invasion of someone's mind without consent, but honestly, he saw little other options to ensure her safety. Rosier would surely be planning something. If the threat Lucius made were genuine, he'd no doubt employ allies on the inside to goad and pressure Severus. Targeting those he cared about would be the most obvious way to hurt him, as Severus could handle what happened to himself; he was less capable of standing any harm coming to Lily.

Severus shook his head; it wasn't like he'd hurt anyone doing this. Those vagrants hardly felt his presence. If anything, most just seemed confused after he pulled memories to the forefront of their minds, wondering why they would remember such a thing at random. Technically Severus was  _preventing_  harm in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing Rosier or his friends could do was good. After Avery and Mulciber's actions, Severus could trust anyone sided with You-Know-Who to have a shred of restraint or ethical qualms with brutality or depravity. They were all potential predators in his eyes and he couldn't trust any of them to not try and complete what Avery started.

Ever since Avery's escape, Lily's nightmares had returned, bringing with it many nights of her clinging to Severus with a vice-like grip in her sleep. The bags under her eyes that she often times tried to hide with makeup grew more pronounced as time went on and it ate away at Severus to see her in this state. She'd made a valiant effort of hiding it from her family, but Severus could see right through her; she was scared and she had every right to be.

Being home should bring most people comfort—provided their home had never been like Severus's, but Lily was far more frightened to sleep in her own bed because it was just a muggle house standing between her and the Death Eaters. Even with the new wards, she didn't feel safe.

Severus knew Lily had started to sleep better at Hogwarts mainly due to the knowledge that no one could just wander into the girl's dorm at night due to various enchantments in play, ones created by the school itself and therefore no magic could override it. The boys' dorms were not so heavily guarded for whatever bizarre reason, but the ridiculous stair slides and barriers in play for the girls' dorms safeguarded the ladies inside, providing Lily with the peace of mind to drift off. But that provided a new problem; the security Lily felt within Hogwarts would surely cause her to lower her guard, make her vulnerable.

So Severus would have to be her shield. Call it chauvinistic if you wanted, but Severus would rather Lily be angry at his lack of faith in her defending herself than leave her to the snakes in his House.

Severus wouldn't fail Lily; not this time. She'd been hurt too much already and breaking a few morals would keep her safe, so be it.

Severus got home in time for lunch, arriving just as Lily was helping her sister set the table.

"Welcome back," Lily greeted with a smile; it was good to see Lily smiling again, "We made sandwiches."

"I'd be delighted to have one," Severus said, shrugging off his coat, "Because I'm famished."

"Did you have a nice walk?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded. Several times that week, he'd told Lily he wanted to clear his head, to sort out his feelings on matters such as his mother, basically get his thought in order. In actuality he was go off to practice Legilimency, but the less Lily knew the better.

"Let me just wash up," Severus said, heading upstairs while Lily and Petunia put lunch on the table. Bypassing the loo entirely, Severus ducked into his room and went over to his trunk.

He pulled an innocuous looking notebook from amongst his school supplies, the place Lily was least likely to look as she always asked first before borrowing his notes. Flipping open to the most recent page, Severus grabbed a pen and jotted some quick observations down regarding his legilimency attempts for the day.

' _Subject 26,'_  he wrote,  _'Fleeting consciousness, difficult to rouse. Severely inebriated. Defenses easy to bypass, memories harder to discern.'_

' _Took two and a half minutes to concentrate,_ ' Severus added,  _'Half a minute less than previous attempt with subject 25. Singling out most prominent memory allows for focus; can proceed to more reclusive memories from there.'_

Severus flipped to the front of his book, looking over various theories and information he and his friends had acquired about the diadem. He had no doubt legilimency might prove useful in that endeavor too. Being able to delve into a person's mind could provide him with the necessary information on the diadem and if Tom Riddle had any connection to it. He certainly seemed suspicious enough; swaying the board of governors to expel Hagrid without a proper investigation on Myrtle's body to confirm a cause of death.

Hagrid seemed relatively convinced Riddle had merely acted as a concerned student who made a knee-jerk assumption, but Severus couldn't help but find Riddle's motives questionable. Riddle came off more as an opportunist he found the perfect scapegoat in Hagrid. He if truly had the school's best interests at heart, why would he wait until a student was killed to acted on supposed suspicions against the half-giant?

Had Riddle been the Hogwarts alumn whom Rowena said Dumbledore refused to hire for the DADA position? Dumbledore clearly didn't believe Hagrid to blame for Myrtle's death, hence providing him a home and a job after his explusion, so that maay have meant he doubted Riddle's assertions at least...or suspected him.

Severus would need to probe deeper into Riddle's time at Hogwarts. Perhaps Nesme could ask a few professors about him. She was the least suspicious of them, so most would honestly believe her to be asking out of harmless curiosity over the award she saw in the trophy case.

With that plan in mind, Severus stashed his journal back in the trunk, stopped in the loo to wash his hands, and headed back downstairs.

"So what sort of sandwiches have you made?" Severus inquired when he returned to the table.

"Watercress sandwiches," Petunia answered proudly, "They're fancy."

"And tiny," Lily commented teasingly, "You can eat five or six of them and still not be full." She dodged a swat Petunia made at her head.

Willow laughed as she and Hank sat down, having returned from working in the garden, "There's nothing wrong with eating light. Finger sandwiches are healthy."

"Here's something you may not know about finger sandwiches," Hank said picking up of the finger foods, "You put more than one of them together-you've got a sandwich!" He then proceeded to bite into both sandwiches at once.

"Lovely table manners, daddy," Petunia deadpanned, "Truly impeccable."

Hank grinned at her, "I think I'm ready to meet the queen."

Lily and Severus snickered while Petunia looked quite unimpressed.

"So," Willow began, spreading her napkin across her lap as Petunia began to serve everyone, "What do you all have planned for the afternoon?"

"I've got second shift at work today," Petunia informed her mother, "I'll be home by eleven."

"Severus and I are going to the Piroshki Tea House," Lily said, "Albina makes the best chocolate chai tea for me. It's not even on the menu; she whips it up special for long time customers."

Severus had been indulging Lily's whims over the past few days in hopes of seeing the old Lily come out of shell again. From snowball fights to ice skating—which he was terrible at, mind you—Severus did whatever popped into Lily's mind. She still occasional resorted to gloom, but she'd begun to smile freely again, laugh openly.

Willow smiled, "Sounds like a fun time. Got any plans after that?"

"We're heading over to this herbal shop down the street afterwards, get some ingredients for treating colds and flus. Don't want to get sick right before starting the new school term."

Severus nodded, "While muggle medicine trumps magic in some medical fields—surgeries, transplants, whatnot—when it comes to more mundane things like colds and fevers, magic tends to do better. Muggle herbal remedies have some effective uses despite doctors' opinions on them. When someone with magic makes them, they do the job far more effectively than cough syrup."

"See if you can pick something up for a sore throat," Petunia instructed, "The cold air has been really irritating mine. But nothing mint; not a fan of the taste."

"We'll see what we can find," Severus acquiesced.

"If Tuney if working, then who's going to make me dinner?" Hank asked playfully.

"You could make it yourself if you were capable of doing more than burning toast," Willow quipped.

"Why would I ever need to learn how to cook when I have so many helpers here," Hank asked, eyeing Severus and Lily with amusement, "After all, what's the point of having children if you can't make them do chores?"

"When have I ever given any indication I could cook?" Severus asked wryly.

Hank shrugged, "Can't be that much different than potions, right? You measure out ingredients, add them accordingly, watch the timer, and follow instructions. Voila! Cooking."

"And yet you burn water," Severus snarked.

Hank raised his hands, "Like I said,  _you're_  the potions expert, not me."

"Again, excelling at potions doesn't mean I can cook," Severus pointed out.

"Oh, sure you can," Lily chimed in, "You told me the reason you can chop up potions ingredients so fine is from years chopping vegetables for stews and soups growing up."

"Okay, so I can chop potatoes and boil water," Severus admitted with a snort, "Not exactly culinary marvels."

"Still food isn't it?" Hank asked with a grin.

Severus gave Hank a bland look.

"How about we bring back some Pelmeni and boiled cabbage from Piroshki's?" he bargained.

Hank stuck his hand out enthusiastically, "Deal!"

 

{page break}

 

"Pretty quiet round here at night," Simone observed, glancing around the restaurant, "I like it."

It was just after eight in the evening and the dinner rush was dying down at the little restaurant Petunia worked in. Stragglers sat patting full bellies at some sparse few tables while the majority of diners had long gone home. As the activity died down in the dining room, it livened up in the bar area, college kids and married couples coming to gulp down a few glasses to take off the edge of their day.

Simone sat with Thea at the bar, coffee cups in hand.

"I'll never understand how I went so long without knowing what coffee is," Simone said, cradling her cup adoringly, "It's lovely."

"And bitter," Petunia remarked, setting a plate of hash down in front of her friend, "Like you."

Thea giggled, "Simone likes her coffee black as the depths of her soul."

"Careful, Thea," Simone warned, "Or next time you put sugar in your drink, you'll find it's salt instead."

Thea did her able best to stifle her snickers, looking away evasively.

"Isn't it a little late to be having coffee?" the bartender asked in passing.

"Its morning somewhere," Simone quipped.

The bartender shrugged and walk down the bar.

"Hard to believe you've never had coffee before we met," Petunia said, taking advantage of her short break to sit with her friends, "Didn't they have it at Hogwarts?"

Simone nodded, "For older students, yes it was provided with breakfast, but I never had much interest in the stuff with such little knowledge I have of it. Coffee is more a muggle thing; a muggle invention. Most purebloods have never heard of it within the wizarding community. Sure my parents would have had no trouble with it's origins, but they've been all about tea since they moved here when I was young. Thinks it makes them more English."

"What?" Petunia questioned with a laugh.

Simone shrugged, "Mom's French and Dad's from South Africa. They feel like fishes out of water in Britain. They try to fit in more by doing the whole British thing; tea time, biscuits, the works really."

"Why did your folks move here again?" Petunia asked.

Simone took a relishing sip of her coffee, contemplating the question, "Well, mom thought Beauxbatons would make me too vain and prideful like it did a lot of her classmates and they only recently started allowing black students at the school in Dad's country. Before that, you had to be taught at home by your family. My parents wanted something more inclusive and it was either this or America, and they only just got rid of Jim Crow laws over there about 12 years ago, so mom didn't feel it would be a good fit."

"Must be rough to have some many places excluding you," Petunia mused, "The only place I ever felt unwelcome was the wizarding world, but just about everywhere else has no restrictions for me. Well, except for sexism."

"Men fear our mighty loins," Simone declared, clinking glasses with an unprepared Thea, who nearly spilled her drink, "But I get what you're saying. If you have the right skin color and something between your legs, the world's essentially your oyster. But don't let that get you down; working harder for the rights we deserve means we don't take things for granted. We aren't spoiled with privilege, so we aren't jaded and callous. We've got bigger hearts than those blinded by life catering to them."

"I suppose you're right," Petunia agreed, "Anyway, I'm surprised to see you here, Thea. I thought your parents were keeping you home this break."

"Her folks are out for the evening," Simone supplied, "I've been sneaking her out all break whenever they're busy, letting her cut loose some. Exploiting a little loophole; they told their house elves she couldn't go anywhere with friends. They never said she couldn't go anywhere with other house elves."

Petunia grinned, "Minks."

Simone nodded, "She's been a real life saver lately."

"Waitress," called out an impatient voice, "Waitress!"

Petunia looked around. Of the few remaining diners in the restaurant, there was a couple sitting in one of the tables situated closest to the bar. The couple were rather beefy and large, both sporting broad shoulders and think middles. The woman who had been calling out was purple faced and portly, a dusting of hair across her upper lip too noticeable to ignore. Petunia noted she had several empty beer glasses around her already.

"Waitress!" the woman all but shouted, "Blast it all, I know you can hear me!"

It took Petunia a moment to realize that the woman was talking to  _her_.

"Excuse me," Petunia said to her friends, heading off to the table.

Simone watched her leave, her eyes narrowing on the loud, unpleasant woman waving at Petunia.

"May I help you," Petunia asked when she reached the table.

"It's about time," the woman complained, "We've been trying to get your attention for hours. Here," she thrust an empty breadbasket into Petunia's hands, "Refill that."

Petunia took a deep breath and set the basket back down on the table, "With all due respect, I believe Candace is the waitress in charge of this section. If you wish for me to go get her—"

"I don't bloody care if 'Candace' works this table," the woman snarled, "I'm telling  _you_  to do it!"

"That isn't my job," Petunia began with feigned politeness.

"The hell it isn't your job," the woman boomed, "I'm the customer, you're supposed to accommodate me."

The woman jabbed the man besides her with her elbow, "Vernon, can you believe this woman?"

The man, Vernon, had been doing a rather impressive job of eating his chicken primavera without giving the conversation an ounce of notice. Large as his companion, he had a thick neck and equally purple face. His dark, bushy mustache was more impressive than the woman's but overall, the pair looked strikingly alike.

When the woman addressed him, Vernon looked up startled, a bit put out to be interrupted from his meal. Seeing his companions upset state, he followed her gaze, intending to unleash his own bit of venom on whoever had upset her.

When his irritated gaze fell on Petunia, however, the look wiped clean off his face at the sight of the tall, willowy woman with flashing dark eyes and wavy blonde hair.

"Yes,  _Vernon_ ," Petunia said, addressing the man by the name the woman revealed to her, "Can you believe this woman?" she pointed at his dining partner.

The woman's face purpled even further.

"How dare you," she cried in outrage, "You call yourself a waitress?"

All proper pretenses gone, Petunia glared at the obnoxious customer, "No. I call myself the Sous Chef. As in the one who prepares the meals, makes masterpieces out of common ingredients, and made the dish you so greedily inhaled early this evening. And above all," she leaned down in the woman's face, "I do not serve the belligerent."

"Now see here," Vernon began, coming to the now stutteringly furious woman's defense.

"No, you see here," Petunia said with authority, "Our establishment reserves the right to deny service to the disorderly, especially those who are drunk. This woman had had more than enough drinks to fit that role to a tee. I will not be talked down to like a servant, nor will I subject the wait staff to such mistreatment."

Vernon leaned back from Petunia, clearly not used to anyone but his female companion talking to him so forcefully. A flush spread across his face.

"Mistreatment?" the woman squawked, "For expecting the staff to do their jobs."

Petunia glared at her unmercifully, "No, for expecting the staff to tolerate your abuse."

"Now that's sort of an over exaggeration," Vernon, "Marge was just asking for more bread."

Petunia directed her glare to Vernon, cowing the man, " _Marge_  was demanding I wait on her hand and foot. Forgive me if I find such behavior appalling."

"Well then if you won't do it, send someone else," Marge ordered, "Where's our server? That Candace tramp."

"Candace is serving more than just your table," Petunia stated, waving away a curly brunette server so that she wouldn't have to return to this horrible table, "But even if she were available, I wouldn't allow her to come back here and be treated this way. She works hard at her job, as do the rest of our staff, and if a pamper stuffed shirt like you can't understand the value of hard work—"

"Now wait just a minute," Vernon cut off, "I can certainly appreciate hard work. I'm a working man myself."

"Then show some respect for others," Petunia said flatly, "If you have a problem you can take it to the manager, but I assure you that he won't be too keen on working with someone who insults the staff, seeing as how your server Candace is his  _daughter_."

Marge growled, "Enough of this place. Vernon, you handle the check; I'm leaving." With one last contemptuous look at Petunia, Marge stormed out of the restaurant.

Petunia signaled Candace over with the bill, "If that will be all, sir?" She walked away before he could respond.

"What a fiery display," Simone chuckled as Petunia returned to the bar, "I'm impressed."

"Lily's temper must be rubbing off on me," Petunia said, sitting down with a sigh, "I'm usually more patient with the customers."

"Nothing wrong with giving someone an attitude adjustment," Simone stated, "If you hadn't she would've just taken her bad mood out on some other poor girl."

"Still," Petunia fretted, "Maybe I was a bit shorter than necessary. She might have thought I was a waitress because she saw me bring you two your food."

"To share with us," Simone countered, "And so what if she made an honest mistake; she dug her own grave when she decided to act like a shrew."

"Maybe…" Petunia agreed, halfhearted.

"Don't you dare second guess yourself," Simone warned, "You stood up for yourself. You have every right to not be pushed around."

"The customer's not always right, Petunia," Thea offered kindly, "She was being very rude."

"And I don't think she was fully drunk yet," Simone added, "Merlin knows how much worse she would have got. I had half a mind to hex her."

"You could actually get away with that now too," Thea said.

Simone gave her friends a toothy grin, "It feels great to be seventeen."

"Pardon me."

All three girls looked up as Vernon came shuffling over.

"The check," he said hesitantly, presenting the payment to Petunia.

"Thank you," was Petunia's clipped reply, "Enjoy your evening." She turned back to her friends.

"If I may," Vernon said, reclaiming her attention, "I find it rather impressive that you've been promoted so far at such a young age. A sous chef at eighteen—"

"Nineteen," Petunia corrected, "Though I fail to see how it is any business of—"

"I only meant," Vernon cut in, "That it is a very admirable accomplishment. You're practically running the place."

"I wouldn't go that far,' Petunia said.

"But I would," Vernon stated, "You command respect; that's nothing to sneeze at."

"How about an apology for your friend's awful behavior," Simone said suddenly.

Vernon flushed, looking away, "Yes, I suppose my sister can be rather abrasive."

"That's one way of putting it," Petunia said.

"Still not an apology," Simone called.

Vernon pursed his lips at Simone, before turning back to Petunia, "Anyway, I would like to apologize for my sister's behavior. The food was wonderful."

Vernon looked down at his feet for a minute.

"Perhaps, I can return sometime to sample more of the menu," he suggested.

"Without your sister?" Petunia challenged.

"Of course," Vernon agreed all too readily, "Well I'll…I'll be sure to come back here sometime soon."

He backed away, casting furtively glances at Petunia, managing a clumsy wave before turning and walking out.

Petunia looked back at her friends, "Well, that was strange."

Thea started giggling while Simone just shook her head.

"Oh you poor, poor girl," Simone bemoaned.

"What?" Petunia asked.

"Petunia, he likes you!" Thea cried out before dissolving into laughter.

"What?!" Petunia almost shrieked, looking back over her should to where Vernon once stood, "That's impossible."

"Seems Vernon likes bossy women," Simone observed, "I'd say you made quite the impression on him."

"B-but," Petunia stammered, "That can't be right. His sister was so rude—and he was defending her!"

"And you knocked all of his arguments out of the park," Simone pointed out, "You put him and his sister in their place; something I imagine he doesn't see too often where his sister is concerned. She seems like the sort who usually runs the show."

"You're both being ridiculous," Petunia insisted, "I barely spoke to him. I just scolded him."

"And he liked it," Simone teased.

"You're crazy," Petunia said firmly.

Simone reigned in her mirth, "Hey, I'm not saying you have to go out with the guy. Or to not go out with him; your choice, really. But it seems like he may be taken with you and if he's going to be bossed around by anyone, it might as well be someone who's heart is in the right place and not his bitchy sister. She'd just steer him more down the path of pigheadedness."

Petunia huffed, "Well it doesn't matter because I doubt he's actually coming back. He was just being polite."

"I don't know," Simone disagreed, "He doesn't strike me as the type to say something just to be nice. If he gives a compliment, he means it."

"Either way, it must be flattering," Thea suggested, "He clearly thinks you're attractive. The look on his face when he saw you said it all."

"Now I know you're crazy," Petunia said with a sniff, gathering up her friends plates.

"Is it so hard to believe a man might like you?" Simone asked with a smirk, "What's the matter, scared to get a boyfriend?"

Petunia's blushed, "If you're both so hung up on dating, why don't you get boyfriends?"

"Men are icky!" Simone cried childishly.

The trio stared in dead seriousness at each other for a few moments before erupting in laughter.

"Get home before you both turn into pumpkins," Petunia said, chuckling as she carried the dishes away.

"I still only partially get that reference!" Simone called after her as her friend disappeared into the kitchen.

 

{page break}

 

Severus tapped his pen against his notebook contemplatively. He'd been working through a few theoretical possibilities and still found only half of his ideas were even probable.

Crossing out another theory, he spared a glance for the spell written neatly in the margin.

 _Sectumsempra_ …

It was strongest spell in Severus's arsenal, but ever since Avery revealed he knew it as well, using it would be less of the edge Severus desired in dire circumstances. He'd witnessed enough duels in his day to know that two people throwing the same exact spell back and forth at each other provided little advantage to either side; they would both be expecting it and know how to block it if need be. Considering the usefulness of it for offense, Avery would be expecting Severus to use it and already have prepared to parry it.

If Severus didn't use it at all, then he'd still be in hot water up against Avery or anyone else who the little sneak had taught it to. Given the curse's propensity for maximum damage and difficulty healing, any Death Eater with a brain would be dishing it out at any given moment. With it being Severus's most powerful spell to date, he didn't exactly have anything else in his repertoire to counter it and over power his foes.

That left Severus with little choice but to either make an entirely new spell—an enormous undertaking in so little time given he had no idea when and if Avery or his friends would strike—or alter that which he already had. So naturally, Severus chose the latter.

The trouble with altering or improving upon his spell was that having made the curse in the first place had not been an exact science. Call it a 'happy accident' or what have you, but the original development of the spell was based on pure conjecture and countless failed attempts. The successful end result had seemed almost a fluke when Severus managed to create the right incantation. So altering the dynamics or elements of the spell was like running blind through the woods. He honestly had no idea where to start.

How ever he changed the incantation would need to create the desired effect, but without altering the level of damage produced. He wanted to keep the original intent of his curse, but with added effects, not effects that took the place of the previous ones. He still wanted the curse to produce many substantial wounds and be exceedingly difficult to heal with normal means. But he needed something to make the spell…more. More what? He didn't know; he just knew he needed his curse to do more for him in some way than whatever it did for Avery. He needed an advantage. Something to catch Avery off guard or be hard to block, perhaps, or maybe something more lethal.

Severus circled his current theory, a potential addition to the incantation that hopefully wouldn't alter the potency. Out of all the theories he'd work through, this one seemed the most probable for success. He'd need to attempt it somewhere safe to see the results, but so far it had worked itself out on paper rather well.

Spell work was trickery than many realized. Most would assume it was simply a matter of stringing together words expressing the desired effect and keeping your mind focus on the intent. It made sense why people thought that; the Latin incantations used in most spells tended to have straightforward translations.  _Aqua Erecto:_  Water Erupts _; immobulus_ : unmoving.

But simply speaking certain phrases with intent was not enough to actually give life to such spells. It took intricate, careful constructing of magic to design. Precise wand movements channel magic in the proper sequence necessary for every spell. You didn't just wave a wand willy nilly and have it produce whatever you shouted.

That's why Severus initial discovery of  _Sectumsempra_  was so surprising. He'd come up with the wand movement instinctual, after hours of carefully thought out moves and gestures had failed. Ironic really, that the one time he should stop thinking and just act, the very move he needed was created. Unsurprisingly, it was thoughts of the Marauders and their daily torments that guided his hand in the slashing gesture needed to weave his magic and intent into the incantation.

Severus circled his current idea once again. It held a lot of promise and he believed he had the movements worked out. It would require a variation on the previous movement; carrying the downward slash horizontally and thrusting forward. Hopefully it would create the redirection he was aiming for.

" _Cogitatia_ …" Severus mumbled to himself. He glanced at the mirror above his dresser and grinned.

He almost had it.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Severus is dabbling in more ethically questionable magic. That can only end well...right?
> 
> It is hard to write about Legilimency because it is difficult to come up with a description of how one would go about picking through ones mind. Sort of like trying to write how Superman controls the speed of flight...I mean does he just holds his arms out farther in front and concentrate really hard to go faster?
> 
> The unprepared mind is easier to enter than a prepared one, so it makes sense for Severus to pick muggles who are not truly with their wits about them, one because they are so open and two because they are lacking in making and therefore not suspecting or on guard for mind magic. A lot of people tend to write Severus as some unbelievable prodigy in fics and while he was no doubt talented and more skilled than most, he isn't super powered. It's almost like some give him god like powers where he is perfect at everything. I wanted a Severus who had to work had to get anywhere, so he has to start small.
> 
> I'll be honest, I have been debating introducing Vernon at all, and I'm still on the fence about which way I'll go with him. He sure as hell is an ass, so I won't change much, but he did seem to truly love Petunia in canon, to the point that he not only didn't turn tail when faced with her 'unnatural' family members like Lily, but also stuck around throughout all of the upheaval caused by magic and housing Wizarding Britian's most sought after wizard. Harry was technically only Petunia's responsibility due to the blood protection. Vernon could have easily ducked out when he realize they would be stuck caring for the child. He was so outright against magic and yet stayed with Petunia when he had no actual obligation to stay and help raise her nephew (not that you can call what they did 'raising'). So he clearly loved Petunia through thick and thin. A part of me wonders if he could be willing to put up with magic this time around because she matters more to him than normalcy.
> 
> Leave a review, please and thank you :)


	57. Fragile like a Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the strongest of bonds can be rattled by the impulsiveness and irrationality of youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at chapter title* Uh-oh, you know this isn't going to be good.
> 
> Thanks as usual to all my wonderful readers and reviewers. You guys rock!
> 
> Enjoy the first have the of the chapter for some fun and humor...shit gets real after that.
> 
> Also...meet Pudge the Smug...
> 
> *whispers* you'll see

* * *

New Year's came and went and it was once again time to return to school. New Year's Eve had been relatively quiet, as Lily's father came down with a nasty cold that day and spent it with his family caring for him. Everyone in the Evans household mostly just curled up watching holiday special or reading, the peace broken only by the countdown to midnight.

Severus couldn't exactly kiss Lily Happy New Year in front of her parents, but it was probably for the best. Lily had not been feeling particularly amorous since news of Avery's escape spread and Severus frankly felt awkward with intimacy since that disastrous occurrence in his bedroom the morning the news had broken.

Not that he didn't still desire Lily. He did; what man wouldn't? However, he was more wary then ever of possibly pushing Lily past what she felt comfortable. He didn't want her to go further than she truly felt ready for, but could he trust her to actually say stop when she needed to? Severus wanted their relationship to progress because they both desired it to, not because Lily felt it was a better alternative to whatever anyone else may want to do to her.

It was with great relief that Severus ready his trunk for King's Cross. Hopefully, the distraction of friends would be a welcome relief to Lily and give Severus the space to think. He truly wanted to be with Lily, but with how things were for her emotionally, he almost felt like dating her would be taking advantage of her. She needed a friend, not a boyfriend. Nevertheless, that didn't change how much he wanted to be with her. It truly was a difficult and delicate situation.

A loud pecking at his window drew Severus's attention away from his schoolbooks and clothes. Sitting outside on the sill was a rather large pygmy owl; unusually large for it's breed, at least ten inches tall compared to the average six.

"What on earth did they breed you with?" Severus asked, mystified.

"Sev?" Lily voice floated down the hall before she appeared in the door way, "What's wrong?"

"Just pondering over our little friend here," Severus said with a gesture in the owl's direction.

"How cute!" Lily cooed when she spotted the feathery creature. She crossed the room in record time and popped the window open so that the owl could hop through, "Who's do you think he is?"

"Simone's" Severus answered, "She did mention during her Christmas visit that her parents gifted her an owl. I was told it was a Northern Pygmy Owl…but even though it looks like one…"

"It's massive," Lily breathed.

It wasn't an understatement. The owl was not only taller than it's breed should be, but also wider, seeming to have a thick abundance of feathers. It had enormous eyes—which of course Lily fawned over—and an expressively disapproving-looking glare. On top of all that, the cocky little thing kept puffing it's feathers up the way one would to ward off predators, as if challenging Severus as it hooted at him.

"He's adorable," Lily exclaimed, tickling it under it's beak, giggling when it lightly nipped at her fingers, "Does he have a name?"

"We'll find out I'm sure," Severus said as the owl stuck it's foot out at him to reveal a scroll. It hooted impatiently at him, "Yes, yes, I see it."

Carefully detaching the scroll—no easy feat because the blasted creature seemed to amuse itself by retracting it's foot whenever he reached for it—Severus unrolled the parchment and glanced through it's contents.

 

' _Snape,_

_Meet my new owl. His name is Pudge. Pudge the Smug. I imagine with great relish how undignified you shall feel each and every time you have to say (or even think) his name._

_Anyway, I thought I would write to inform you that while it had been my intent to ride with you all during all train rides in tribute to my final year at Hogwarts, I am afraid I will not be taking the train back this time._

_It would seem Thea's parents wish to see us off from the departure point with their house elf this time. They must be worried that if they do not see us off under proper supervision, I'll spirit Thea away somewhere else to spare her from her end of the year nuptials._

_Can't say I haven't been tempted, but Thea so greatly wishes to finish school with all her friends._

_Anyway, I'm sure you are very much concern—though denying you are—over the paper's report on your family situation over the break and no doubt are not looking forward to any prying eyes and wagging tongues that may cross your path seeking to speculate and gossip. For that, I deeply and sincerely apologize that I will not be there to assist in warding off curious trespassers. Please give me a list of names when you arrive at school and I will be sure to put an itching hex on their trousers._

_I hope to see you in well health and good form upon your arrival to school._

_Your Friend (deny it all you want, you know I am!)_

_Simone.'_

 

"I wonder how long she spends deliberating over her letters to make them sound so formal," Severus mused with a smirk. He turned to Lily, "Simone and Thea won't be taking the train as planned. They'll be transported by a House Elf like last year."

"That's too bad," Lily commented, "What did it say about the owl?"

"His name is…" Severus took a deep breath, groaning inwardly, "Pudge…the Smug."

Lily's face lit up, "Pudge? I love it!"

"It's completely ridiculous," Severus argued, "What sort of name is that?"

"Oh come on, Sev," Lily said, "It fits him perfectly."

Severus would not be swayed, "It's undignified," he turned to the bird, "You're name is George now."

Lily cocked an eyebrow, "George, Sev?"

Severus shrugged, "He looks like one. Better than 'Pudge' anyway."

'George' did not look impressed.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Pudge if fine for a name. Look at him. He's just so plump and fluffy!"

"Fat," Severus corrected, "The word you're looking for is fat."

Pudge screeched menacingly at Severus, fluffing up even further to Lily's great amusement.

"Intimidating," Severus drawled, "Truly it is."

Almost seeming to glare at Severus, Pudge marched rather than walked over to Severus's open trunk. Hopping into the trunk, Pudge began to shuffle around in it, pecking and mussing up clothes and picking up items in its beak to throw out.

"Hey!" Severus cried, scrambling to pick up flying quills and vials, "Knock it off." He grabbed at one of the thin notebooks Pudge got hold of, only for the naughty owl to pick up another as soon as he wrest free the first one.

"Get out of here," Severus growled, swatting the owl out of his belongings, "You ruddy bird."

Pudge leaped off the trunk, satisfied his work was done. In triumph, he proceeded to strut back and forth across Severus bed, hooting happily to himself.

"He's so funny," Lily laughed.

Severus huffed, gathering up his things, "Easy for you to say; he didn't just put a hole in several of your socks—only the left ones, might I add" he glared daggers at the devious creature.

"Maybe you should have been nicer," Lily chided with a grin, offering Pudge a treat from the cup on Severus's windowsill, "Animals responded better to kindness.

"They also respond to a kick in the rear," Severus muttered. Pudge hooted in disagreement, "Quiet, Fred!"

"I thought he was George," Lily questioned.

"Either works," Severus said dismissively, "They sound like the names of troublemakers."

He opened the window and shooed Pudge out, "Out with you now. Shoo."

"I doubt that's the last you'll see of him," Lily pointed out teasingly, "Simone probably will bring him to Hogwarts."

"Brilliant," Severus groaned, "I'll have to hide all my left socks, lest he put holes in them all."

Severus repacked his trunk and closed it with a thud, "Well, that's everything. I'd better help your dad load things into the car."

"I'll meet you there," Lily said, "I still need to iron my robes."

"You can use magic for that on the train," Severus reminded her as he carried his trunk out of the room.

"It looks better when done the old fashion way," Lily called back. Waiting until she was sure Severus was downstairs, Lily turned to Severus's bed and picked up his pillow.

"You're coming with me again," Lily declared, nuzzling the pillow and inhaling that soothing, familiar scent.

Pillow in her possession, Lily went to leave the room only for something to catch her eye peeking out from under the bed skirt.

"What's this?" bending down, Lily lifted the edge of the bed skirt to reveal a notebook.

"This is one of the books Pudge threw out," Lily said to herself, "Sev must have accidentally kicked it under here while trying to grab everything else."

Shrugging Lily tucked it under her arm, "His trunk's already been packed twice now. I'll just put it in mine and give it to him later. It's not like he needs it right this second; classes haven't started yet."

 

{page break}

 

Nesme turned her hand this way and that for her friends to admire, getting many oohs and ahhs from the girls.

"That's beautiful, Nesme," Mary exclaimed, taking the Hufflepuff's hand and bringing it closer to examine.

Nesme waggled her fingers, enjoying the attention.

"It is, isn't it? She gushed, showing off the reddish brown dye twirled up each finger in an intricate vine-like pattern. Even her nails were stained the dark shade. Flipping her hand over, Nesme displayed a large flower blossom painted onto her palm.

"So what's it mean again," Marlene asked.

Nesme shrugged, "It doesn't have any specific reason design-wise. But my dad says dyeing the tips of my fingers and palms is a celebration of womanhood. It signifies beauty and festivity according to him. Many unmarried women do it during the Bohag Bihu."

"Which is…?" Marlene prompted.

"Assamese new Year," Nesme clarified, "It falls around April, but my dad did this special for the regular New Year while telling me all about Bohag Bihu. He wanted to 'impart some culture' to me."

"He's been doing that more and more over these past few years," Davis commented.

"I'm not bothered," Nesme reassured her friend, "Dad doesn't have any kids of his own blood, so he wants me to be a part of all his family traditions. I wouldn't be surprised if he expects me to have a traditional Indian wedding ceremony someday."

"You're white as mayonnaise, but sure, I could picture you in a Saree," Severus said with a smirk.

Nesme stuck her tongue out at him, "Says the guy paler than milk."

"What's it like having a stepdad," Mary inquired, tactfully changing the subject.

Again, Nesme shrugged, "Not that much different from having a regular dad, I imagine. I've never known any father other than him; he married mom when I was four. I mean, we stick out like sore thumbs at his family reunions; everyone can see I'm not biologically his, but they treat me like I'm one of the family. So I'd say it's pretty much the same as a regular family."

"Except his culture is so neat!" Marlene groaned enviously, "The bright vivid colors, the dresses, the jewels. I'd feel like a princess! Britain is so boring by comparison. Dull as dishwater."

"Wizarding robes are pretty vibrant," Mary pointed out.

Marlene huffed, "And most of them are as unflattering as a circus tent. And even with the good ones, so what? I can't wear them around outside of magical places because muggle fashion over here is far more subdued; prim and proper. In India, wizards  _and_  muggles dress bright and fabulous."

"You're obnoxious enough without loud colors," Severus stated.

Marlene flung her shoe at him, which Severus proceeded to hold hostage for the duration of the train ride.

During a very loud argument between Nesme and Marlene about how the Hufflepuff was missing out on how wonderful beef tasted—the former wanted to uphold her stepfather's traditions—there was a bit of whispering coming from outside their compartment.

"Is he in there?" came one voice.

"I can't see without them spotting me," came the other.

"Do you think the rumors are true?" asked the first.

Everyone exchanged knowing, exasperated glances. Heaving a sigh, Marlene stood up and went to the door, sans a shoe.

Yanking open the door rather abruptly, no one was surprised when two second year girls nearly came tumbling through the doorway.

"Get going, you nosey little monsters," Marlene barked, sending the panicked second years scampering off down the hall.

"The nerve of some people," Marlene muttered as she sat back down.

"That's the fourth time today," Davis stated.

Severus frowned but said nothing; he'd been expecting the recent articles to garner him some unwanted attention.

"I can't believe they're being so rude," Mary huffed, disgusted, "After all you've been through and what you did for me and Lily, people are suddenly skeptical of you because of some trash printed by a glorified gossip monger like Skeeter?"

"People are fickle," Marlene said wisely, "Believing the worst in people tends to be more entertaining than believing the best. That witch who wrote those watered down versions of Beedle the Bard? Perfectly wholesome—if not uptight—sort of woman. No one cares a wit about her aside from hating her writing. But if it was printed in the  _Prophet_  tomorrow that an oversized cucumber had been her only romantic partner, people would be talking about her for centuries."

Nesme and Mary groaned in revulsion.

"I…didn't need to picture that," Severus said, screwing his eyes shut.

"Me neither," Davis agree, "No amount of therapy will make that image go away."

Marlene cackled "You've seen it, you can't unsee it!"

"Can't unsee what?" Lily asked, returning from the Prefect carriage.

" _Don't_  make her repeat it," Severus begged, cutting off Marlene before she could reply.

Marlene turned to Lily with a smirk, "We were discussing vegetable marital aides."

Lily's face went red up to the tips of her ears, "Marlene!"

Marlene waved her off, "Oh don't look so scandalized. We're all old enough to know about sex."

"But we didn't ask for a glimpse at what lewd things go on in your head," Severus snapped, "That was just unpleasant."

Marlene rolled her eyes, standing up and stretching, "You prudes can all sit here and shine your chastity belts. I'm going to hunt down the trolley lady to tie me over for the remainder of the ride. Be back in a jiff."

"I'll go too," Mary offered, getting up, "I'm feeling a bit hungry as well. The sandwiches mum packed didn't fill me up nearly enough."

"Then let us be off," Marlene exclaimed dramatically, throwing an arm around Mary's shoulders. She dragged Mary—who was already regretting her decision—out the door.

Lily snorted, "Well she's in top form today."

"I swear she is the oddest person I've ever met," Severus said wryly.

"Marlene's certainly a free spirit," Nesme said.

Severus laughed, "I'll say…she's still only got one shoe." He held up the other one.

Lily and Nesme laughed while Davis let out a small chuckle.

"So Davis, I see you've already put your robes on," Lily pointed out when she stopped laughing.

Davis nodded, "We're crammed in here like sardines so I figured changing all at once would be a struggle. Decided to drag mine out of my trunk early."

"He just wants to look scholarly," Nesme told the others, "Typical Ravenclaw."

Davis crossed his arms, "Better that than a dunderhead."

"I should probably put mine on too," Lily interrupted before the two could start bickering, "I'll be making rounds on the train with Remus shortly, might as well look the part."

"Hopefully he'll lock those toerag friends of his in their compartment before he leaves," Severus mused.

Lily laughed, standing up to pull her bag down from the luggage rack to get her robes, "If he doesn't then I will. Oh, while I have the chance," she rummaged in her bag and pulled out the notebook she'd found in Severus's room, "Sev, this fell out of your trunk when Pudge was making a mess. You forgot it when we left."

Severus looked at the notebook in alarm, snatching it from Lily's hands without a second thought.

Realizing the strange looks he was now getting from everyone, he cleared his throat awkwardly, "Um…thanks."

"Sev…" Lily began suspicion heavy in her voice, "What's in that notebook."

"Nothing," Severus lied quickly, "Just…you know…Notes."

Lily regarded Severus with thinly veiled distrust, a storm brewing in her eyes.

"Then why didn't you want me to have it?" she asked.

The atmosphere in the compartment became very chilly, Severus and Lily locked in a stare off.

"Nesme," Davis began, ill at ease with the tension brewing, "Why don't we go see if there's anything on that trolley for us."

"But I already ate," Nesme protested, unable to read the room. Befuddled, she allowed Davis to lead her from the compartment, leaving Lily and Severus alone.

"What's in the notebook?" Lily asked again.

"It doesn't matter," Severus dismissed, standing up to be on even footing with Lily, "It's nothing bad."

Lips turned down, Lily reach forward and yanked the book from Severus's hands.

"Sectumsempra?" Lily asked, angrily, flipping through the pages, "I thought you said you were done with this spell."

"I was when I thought Avery was going to be locked away for good," Severus said, "But he's on the loose now and he knows my strongest spell. It's an uneven playing field now, Lily, and I can't be at a disadvantage."

"Then use a different spell," Lily demanded, "Invent one. Or research one that Auror's use; just so long as it isn't dark like this one."

Severus scowled, "I thought you had put your prejudice of Dark Magic behind you."

"I did," Lily defended, "But that doesn't mean I'm okay with a spell that can kill people. It nearly killed you!"

"Because it fell into the wrong hands!" Severus snapped, "That's why I'm working on it; so that I have a version Avery doesn't know, nor anyone else in his group."

Lily scoffed, "Yes because making it deadlier is a grand idea."

"What do you want me to say?" Severus growled.

"That you're done with that spell," Lily nearly shouted, "Use shield spells. Or deflecting enchantments. Dueling spells. For Merlin's sake, Severus that curse nearly took your head off!"

"And Avery still knows it and will use it again if given the chance," Severus shot back, "That's why I need to improve it to prevent that. I'm doing this for you, Lily."

"Well don't!" Lily cried, "I don't want blood on my hands," she scrubbed her hands over her face, "I said I didn't want you to do anything stupid because they threatened me. I said I didn't want you joining them."

Severus rolled his eyes, "Yes, because this automatically means I've gone over to the dark side—after everything I've done to convince you otherwise."

"Well what am I supposed to think?" Lily challenged.

"That I'm running out of options!" Severus barked, "Lily, there's a war out there and we can't win with handholding and cheering charms. People are out to hurt us and we can't afford to be lax."

"So what, we're just going to stop to their level to win?" Lily scoffed.

"How many times have we been over this?" Severus groaned, "Magic isn't black and white. Taking drastic measures to defend people doesn't make us dark."

"No but designing spell that kill might," Lily said harshly, "Sev, what would our friends think?"

"Do I look like I care what people think?" Severus sneered, "I've done everything short of taking on the Dark Lord myself and all it took was a few rumors from a gossip column to get people suspicious of me all over again. If it happened to escape your notice, I have gotten on just fine without giving two shits what others think of me. I don't need people pretending to like me to save face about being wrong."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked.

Severus raised his arms, "Oh come on, Lily! You think I don't know how many of my so called 'acquaintances' at school are only being nice to me now that I've done something they deem 'good?' Sure, Mary and the others that were here like me for real, but how many others are just trying to save face after having written me off? I mean, did you hear Hagrid? 'You're a good kid. I've always known.' Bullocks! Once you and I started drifting apart he saw me the same as everyone else did. He thought I was beyond saving; especially because Dumbledore did."

Lily shook her head, "That's not true."

"You and I both know it is," Severus said, "And I shouldn't have to nearly die for people to finally see something good in me. Nor should I have to sacrifice my safety—or yours—just to play it safe so that people won't think less of me."

"But to go about it like this?" Lily exclaimed. She turned to a different page, her eyes going wide.

"And what is this?!" She demanded to know, pointing at one entry.

"I told you, I need to keep us safe," Severus insisted.

Lily scrolled over the entry, "Subject 19…minimal resistance…incoherent thoughts—Sev, you've been experimenting on these people!"

"No, I've been researching," Severus said firmly, "I'm doing this for us. Who knows what Rosier has been asked to do by Lucius?"

"But Legilimency, Sev?!" Lily cried, brandishing the book as if it was something foul, "It's unethical, it's awful!"

"Any worse than the Ministry forcing Veritaserum down a person's throat whenever they suspect you of something?" Severus asked with a scowl, "So it's okay when the ministry invades your privacy, but not when I do it?"

"No one has the right to invade someone's head!" Lily shouted.

"And no one has a right to try and kill us!" Severus hollered back, "What do you expect me to do if they come for us, hm? Just blow bubbles at them? Talk it out?"

Lily shook her head, "I should just destroy this," she said.

"Don't you dare!" Severus barked, ripping the notebook away from Lily, "Do you have any idea how much work I put into this?"

"What matters more?" Lily pushed, "Me or your research?"

"I'm researching  _for_  you!" Severus yelled, "Why is that so hard to believe. I'm doing this because I want to protect you and yet you want to think the worst of me."

"Because I thought I knew you," Lily said, her eyes burning, "And yet you've been keeping secrets from me. I trusted you."

Severus sneered, "Do you? Because your dear friend Meldonna doesn't think you should."

Lily stiffened, "What do you mean?"

"I saw the letter," Severus informed her, "You're lovely friend sounded quite convinced I couldn't be trusted. Given that you never threw it away, I can only assume you were on the fence about whether you felt the same."

"I forgot about that letter," Lily said, "I was going to throw it out."

"So you've never had second doubts, maybe worried I wouldn't be able to tear myself away from dark magic?"

"No," Lily said, "I mean, I knew you always had an interest in it…so I wondered if it would be easy to give up, but…"

Severus scowled, "Thought so."

"Well what do you want me to say, Sev?" Lily demanded, "Here you are doing exactly what you're mad at me for worrying about."

"What I am doing has nothing to do with temptation or a lust for power," Severus stated, "I can't believe after all we've been through that you would think so little of me."

"There's not much else I can think," Lily defended, "Here you are making deadly spells and forcing your way into people's heads. And practicing on poor defenseless muggles."

"I never practiced Sectumsempra on them," Severus snarled, "I'm not a monster."

"Well how would I know?" Lily cried, "I want to trust you yet here you are actually like a no good…Death Eater!"

"In case you've forgotten, I'm a halfblood," Severus said icily.

"Didn't stop you from wanting to join up before," Lily said heatedly, "Wanted to make the world pay for how your father treated you. You were going to turn into a brute and be no better than him—"

As soon as the words left Lily's mouth, she knew she'd gone too far. Severus father was a sore subject for him and she'd never used it as a weapon against him. Until now.

Lily watched as Severus's expression darkened, something akin to hurt flashing in his eyes before it was replaced by a dull, blank look.

"I didn't…" Lily stammered, "I didn't mean…when I said—"

"I believe you've said enough," Severus said coldly. Taking out his wand, he summoned all his things together from the luggage rack.

"Good afternoon, Evans," Severus swept out of the compartment without another word, leaving Lily standing numbly.

He didn't return for the remainder of the train ride.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teenagers, huh? Always impulsive and shit under pressure.
> 
> Lily of course didn't mean what she said, but ultimately it doesn't make her assessment any less true. Severus's canon induction into the Death Eaters DID make him no better than his father in many aspects. We have no idea just how bad he got in Voldy's service before switching to the Light side and we DO know he relentlessly bullied students. As much as I love Severus and relate to his childhood, him picking on kids as an adult and turning a blind eye to the Death Eaters more brutal actions for so long isn't much different than his father beating on his wife and child: both were the strong picking on the weak. Severus was willing as an adult to let others get hurt if it meant he finally had a sense of revenge for his own crappy childhood. Lily may not want to admit that what she said in the heat of the moment might have at one point had the potential to be true, but she hit the nail on the head. At one time, he WAS heading down a path no better than his father's.
> 
> In an earlier chapter, people were split down the middle on whether Hagrid's acceptance of Severus was in character or not. This chapter touches upon that to some degree with Severus's words. Hagrid did accept him when they first met, and later after Severus and Lily had mended their friendship, but inn between that he DID have some reservations about Severus the more he saw him drift from Lily and fight with Potter. Hagrid is someone who is kind but also swayed by society's perceptions of things and people, like how in canon he dislikes Goblins as a whole and thinks Slytherin is a bad house. And he probably had people like Dumbledore to thank for enforcing and encouraging some of his biases.
> 
> Severus is well aware people like Hagrid haven't truly "Always believed in him" and it upsets him that it took only the most severe and life threatening of circumstances for people to finally give him a chance. And now he may have to deal with pity now that people have found out just how difficult his life truly was.
> 
> On a lighter note, I had fun fleshing out Nesme's backstory a little more.
> 
> Leave a review, please and thank you ;)


	58. A Dark Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some old foes make an untimely appearance to our tale...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's good to be back, folks!
> 
> So as per usual, thank you all for the lovely reviews. You know I appreciate you.
> 
> A few of you have weighed in on the last chapter and many of you expressed opinions that Severus's actions are nothing like his father's. And you're right, ultimately Severus is not acting from a place of malice or cruelty, but concern and loyalty to his loved ones. However, canon Snape sacrificed a lot of his morals all in the name of power and respect. Perhaps he didn't do the depraved things his fellow Death Eaters did, but if you honestly think he didn't ever brew a deadly potion or two, or deliberately turn a blind eye to the suffering of innocent people, then you are far too optimistic. Watching a murder isn't much better than committing it yourself; Snape would have the power to try and prevent it, he chose not to either out of fear of selfishness. It isn't much different than Tobias turning a blind eye to the pain and suffering he caused his own family. It may even be worse, because Severus knows first hand the feeling of pain and helplessness and fear and still stood by while others were subjected to it, all for his own goals. 
> 
> Of course here, canon Snape will never come to pass because he has help for his bitterness and struggle, but Lily is right in saying that originally, if things hadn't changed, he was going down a path set to cause pain for others. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this next chapter. It's a doozy!

* * *

Mulciber fidgeted nervously in his seat, picking self-consciously at the slivers of wood sticking up from armrests of the aged chair.

"What do you think the Dark Lord wants?" he asked fearfully to his companion.

Avery shrugged arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the decaying mantelpiece over the hearth.

"Rookwood didn't say," he answered with little concern.

"Well it must be important if he's asked to speak with us specifically," Mulciber fretted, "He's never spoken to either of us personally before. It was always Malfoy or the Lestranges that relayed his messages. So what could this meeting be about?"

"Perhaps it is to address your severe disloyalty," Avery stated snidely, "You made quite the spectacle of yourself on trial just to save your own skin. I doubt he's pleased about that."

"They were going to give me the Kiss for sure," Mulciber whimpered, "There's no mercy for those who use Unforgivables. What else could I have done."

"You could have stood up for our cause like a real wizard," Avery snapped, coming to tower over Mulciber.

"Stop your sniveling," Avery hissed, "You're a disgrace to the Knights of Walpurgis. If you didn't have the guts to serve time for an Unforgivable, then you shouldn't have cast one. You lack even the bravery to own up to your actions; I'm  _proud_  of what I cast. You're just a coward with no conviction."

"I'm just a teenager," Mulciber said feebly.

Avery snacked him on the top of the head, "You're almost a man! You have been blessed with the glorious opportunity to serve our Lord and you threw it away to save yourself. The Dark Mark would be squandered on a wretch like you."

Mulciber continued to sniffle, "How can you be so cruel. We're supposed to be friends."

Avery scoffed, "Who needs friends when power is all that matters? Friends are a weakness; they stand in the way of ambition and glory. I don't need useless sentiments like friends. Not if it will cost me all that I deserve. I don't need anyone so long as I serve the Dark Lord."

"Well said," came a high, cold voice from across the room.

Voldemort stood in the dilapidated doorway, face masked in shadows caused by a moth eaten tapestry hanging sideways down the wall from its one remaining nail. Besides him stood the hulking form of Walden Macnair.

Avery straightened himself immediately while Mulciber scrambled out of his chair with haste.

"M-Master," Mulciber croaked.

"My Lord," Avery greeted, bowing.

Voldemort raised a hand, "No need to be so formal."

He turned to Macnair, "Leave us."

Macnair sneered at Mulciber and Avery—the latter of which retuned it threefold—before departing into the darkness of the house.

"I trust you have been well," Voldemort asked casually, gliding into the room with graceful, serpentine movement.

"In perfect shape, my Lord," Avery assured.

"You'll have to forgive me for the poor accommodations," Voldemort said, gesturing to the ramshackle walls surrounding them, "We need our safe houses to remain inconspicuous so as not to draw the Ministry's attention. They'd never suspect I'd conceal my," he patted Avery's cheek, "loyal followers in such squalor."

"This has been more than enough," Avery stated, "We would willingly do with far less if it was for the good of the cause."

"Of course you would," Voldemort smiled, but it lacked the warmth his tone imitated.

"But what's this?" Voldemort swopped down upon Mulciber, circling, "Why do you cower from me, Magus? Are we not friends?"

"N-no, my Lord," Stuttered Mulciber, "I mean yes! Yes, of course."

"Then why do you cower so?" Voldemort asked, "Could it be because of how you failed me at the trial? How you…betrayed me?"

Mulciber looked ready to wet himself with fright.

"Please, my Lord," he begged, "I did not mean to disrespect you. I-I'm a lowly ranked follower. Hardly a Death Eater. The ministry wouldn't think twice about sending me to Azkaban and I had no reason to believe I would be rescued, useless as I am to you."

Avery made a noise of disgust, appalled by Mulciber's pathetic cowardice.

"Yes, you are lowly," Voldemort mused, taking Mulciber by the chin to look him over, "One of my lowest ranked Death Eaters. Why should I keep you around?"

Mulciber began to quake.

"Because you are still of use to me," Voldemort answered his own question, "Your failures do not mean you lack worth. You can serve me well…despite your mistakes."

Avery looked like he wanted to protest, but knew better than to question his Master.

Mulciber fell to his knees.

"You are merciful, Master," he groveled, clutching the hem of Voldemort's robes and kissing it, "Truly merciful."

"Indeed I am," Voldemort agreed, "Now rise, Magus. I have a task for you two."

"We are at your disposal, my Lord," Avery swore passionately.

Voldemort regarded Avery with an approving glance.

"Yes," he said, "You are."

 

{page break}

 

When the trio landed where Voldemort had apparated them to, Avery and Mulciber were met by the roaring of waves and the howling of wind.

Avery nearly slipped on the wet, slippery ground as he looked wildly about him. They stood upon a ledge of rocks jutting up from the middle of the water, a churning ocean surrounding them on all sides, miles out from shore. The salty spray both wetted and dried out his lips as the waves splashed up at them with great crashes of force, as if consciously trying to dislodged them from their precarious perch.

Mulciber whipped around in fear, practically on all fours to avoid falling off, "Master, where are we?"

"Almost to our destination," Voldemort answered cryptically, "This is as close as we can get through conventional means."

"Close as we can get to where?" Avery found himself asking.

"There," Voldemort pointed to a large mountainous structure far off in the distance. It rose up from the ocean like a dark goliath, all sharp edges and hard angles created by the relentlessly pounding of the sea. It had most likely once connected to the inland and shore, but rises waters over the centuries had engulf the path.

It was quite a ways off, and they were stranded out in the middle of the raging waters.

"My Lord," Avery started hesitantly, "If we cannot apparate in…how will we get there?"

Voldemort did not reply, instead opting to grab Avery's arm in a vice-like grip.

"My Lord?" Before Avery could ask anything further, he was suddenly wrenched into the air, clear off the ledge.

Mulciber screamed as the ground flew out from under him.

Avery was stunned. Staring at his feet hovering several feet above the rushing water, he dangled in the air like a puppet by its strings.

"How is this possible?" he gasped.

Turning his head upwards, he stared in shocked wondered at his Master, faced washed in pure amazement. The Dark Lord could fly without a broom!

The group sailed towards the mountain at alarming speed, the wind whipping past them and salt water pelting them in the face. Just when it seemed they would crash right into the rocks, Voldemort drew up to a sharp stop.

"We're here," he said, dropping his passengers unceremoniously at the mouth of a cave, "Follow me."

Pulling themselves up from a crumpled heap on the floor, the pair of former students walked hurriedly after Voldemort into the cave.

They had only been walking for a few minutes when they reached a large wall, seemingly a dead end.

"What now, my Lord?" Avery asked curiously.

He didn't receive a response, but rather he was grabbed roughly by the hand.

"Wha—?" Avery asked, only to hiss in pain as Voldemort drew his wand sharply across Avery's palm, blood spouting from the wound almost instantly.

Mulciber quivered fearfully, shying away from Voldemort, lest the same be done to him.

"My Lord, what are you doing?" Avery asked. He attempted to cradle his hand to his chest, only for Voldemort to jerk it back.

"For the entrance," was Voldemort's only explanation. Dragging Avery forward, Voldemort slapped the boy's hand onto the cave wall.

As soon as the blood touched the cold stone, the wall began to rumble and shake. It shifted and scraped against itself as a doorway opened up, revealing a large, cavernous tunnel.

"This way," Voldemort order, dropping Avery's hand like it was rubbish.

So far away from the cave entrance, it was incredibly hard to see within the tunnel, and yet Voldemort moved down the path with practiced ease while his followers stumbled behind him like newborn calves learning to walk.

After a long trek in the dark, the cave finally opened up to a bit of light as they came to a cliff, but it was a far cry from the sunlight Avery hoped for.

Before them was a large, placid pool of water, a lake if there ever was one. But this lake did not sit by a scenic field adjacent to a quaint country village. It was a pool blacker than coal, fathomless and glimmering like a great void.

In the very center of the lake sat a small island with a pedestal on it and it was from this object that the eerie glow decorating the cave walls came from.

"Welcome," Voldemort said, "To your new abode."

Avery looked questioningly at Voldemort.

"Here?" he asked.

"Here," Voldemort replied, "I have tasked you with the very important job of guarding something most precious to me."

"B-but how can we stay here?" Mulciber questioned, "There's no beds, no light…what will we eat?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Voldemort answered, "I dare say that will not concern you for much longer."

"What do you mean—" a dark streak of light hit Mulciber squarely in the chest, his final words dying on his tongue. A strange hollow look came over his features as he fell off the edge of the cliff and plummeted into the waters below.

"Magus?!" Avery cried out in alarm. He turned to Voldemort in bewilderment, "I don't understand."

"Don't you recall?" Voldemort asked, "You said it yourself: You're at my disposal."

"But," Avery looked down to the water; several things were twisting and writhing around in the darkness where Mulciber just fell, "Y-you said you needed us."

"And I do," Voldemort said smoothly, "But I never said I needed you alive. In fact, you'll be far more of use to me as the opposite. This is a permanent assignment I am giving you."

"It doesn't make sense," Avery floundered, "Mulciber…h-he was worthless to you. A coward. Even I could see he didn't deserve to serve you, but what about me? I've been a loyal servant. I took the charges against me with pride, all in your name!"

"That you did," Voldemort agreed, "But you were caught and though there was little information they could truly get from someone so far down in the ranks, you still created…loose ends that must be taken care of," he pointed his wand at Avery's chest, "You're that loose end, I'm afraid. You're rash…impulsive….too much of a liability. After all, what good is a soldier who acts without his captain's orders?"

Avery went for his wand, only for Voldemort to chuckle.

"You let your guard down far too easily," Voldemort chided, holding up Avery's wand.

Avery glowered at his Master, hands balled into fists.

Voldemort laughed, cold and uncaring, "Going to fight me with your bare hands? I doubt that will work."

Avery growled, taking a step forward. However, he only made it a few steps before stumbling to a stop, swaying slightly. Raising a hand to his face to rub his eyes, he pulled it back in alarm when he smeared a sticky, metallic-smelling substance across his face.

Voldemort cut his hand deeper than expected. Deliberately.

"How much blood loss can someone stand before they're too weak to fight back," Voldemort mocked, "Not much at all, it would seem."

Avery gulped, "Y-you'll never get away with this," he bluffed, "When my father finds out what happened to me—"

"Your father is nothing an imperio cannot fix," Voldemort informed him, "The same for Mulciber's. Even without their own minds, they'll still serve me well. Now," he aimed his wand at Avery, "Farewell, Calix."

Avery did not recognize the curse his master uttered and he would never find out, as it was the last thing he ever heard as he tumbled backwards off the ledge and into the icy waters below…

 

{page break}

 

The Welcoming Feast proved to be a solemn affair for Lily. Severus never returned to their compartment after the argument, nor did he ride a carriage up to the castle with Lily and their friends. He tucked himself into a carriage of shy second years, not giving Lily's carriage a single glance, and burying his nose in a book almost immediately.

When Mary and the others inquired as to the sudden frosty exchange between the pair, Lily had no answers. She knew  _why_  things were tense; she'd caused them. However, the details were not solely hers to share. Severus father not a subject to openly discuss without Severus present, nor did she wish to reveal she had used it as a weapon in a battle of words against Severus. They would all be quite cross with her, rightfully so, but Lily didn't want to be berated just yet.

And how could Severus start working on that spell again? That was one of the burning questions that kept the spark of anger warring with the guilt Lily felt. Severus was the one who did wrong first, right? He knew how she felt about that spell, about Legilimency too and yet he still sought both subjects out. Behind her back no less! Did he expect her to be touched that he'd been experimenting on helpless muggle for her? She didn't want such terrible misdeeds done in her name!

Lily cast her gaze towards the Slytherin table. The Feast was nearing its end and Severus still had not looked her way once. Thankfully he'd chosen to sit alone near the end of the table isolated away from Rosier and his friends, but that didn't do much to improve Lily's mood when he continued to give her the cold shoulder. Being ignored was making it significantly difficult for Lily to let go of her anger.

Lily cursed her temper, digging angrily into the remains of her scalloped potatoes. She was well and truly upset with what Severus had been doing—furious even that he could justify such actions—but ultimately she knew she'd been the one to strike a low blow. His father should never have been brought up and she couldn't blame Severus for being upset that she had compared them to each other.

Still, try as she might to shake the ill temper from herself, it kept springing back up with a vengeance. Those notes in Severus's journal kept popping into her mind, the cold, unfeeling descriptions of Severus test subjects flitting across her thoughts. And he kept secrets from her!

…Still not as bad as what she said, though was it? Or maybe they were tied in atrocity. Yes, that sounded the most accurate. But even with her own faults so clear, part of Lily just wanted to stay mad. It rather felt like when her monthly would come around and she'd start to feel irritable over every little thing. Sure, she had control over herself to not fly off the handle, but she'd simmer in irritation unbeknownst to her family for several days over nonsensical things. She always knew there was little sense in being upset at someone for flipping a page too loudly or clearing his or her throat too often, but it didn't change how irked she felt about it and how impossible it was to force the irrational feeling away.

So here she was now, angry and frustrated when she knew she should apologize.

Lily sighed, though it came out more as a groan; she just couldn't help being mad! Why did Severus have to dredge up that spell? Hadn't they agreed it was a little too dangerous to brandy about? It was too dangerous to have around because who knows who might get a hold of it next. Severus seemed confident that remodeling the spell to something different that only he knew would be the answer, but he'd thought the spell was safe and secure last time too, hadn't he? Yet it still wound up in Avery's hands.

Then there was the Legilimency. Severus was well aware why she took issue with someone rooting about in a person's head. No part of a person's body, not even their brain, should ever be considered an open invitation for someone else to do as they please. Severus could argue all he wanted that he had good intentions, but the muggle saying goes 'the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions.' Not that Lily was really the religious sort, but the point still stood: taking away someone else's free will was cruel and doing so for the 'greater good' wasn't exactly what she would call ethical. You were literally forcing someone to expose their most private thoughts.

It was why Lily had no plans to tell Mary the nature of her argument with Severus. Mad as she was at him, Lily did not wish to see Severus lose any friends after having been so lonely most of his life. Telling Mary—someone who's mind was compromised by the imperio—that Severus was dabbling in mind intrusive magic would not go over well. The others might become wary of him too, and Lily would hate to see Severus lose all the people he had come to trust.

Maybe Simone would be best for getting through to him, Lily reasoned. Simone tended to do a fine job of slapping sense into people for making ridiculous choices. Her eyes scanned the Slytherin table, spying Simone among a group of third years. The dark skinned girl appeared to be casting furtive glances down the table at Severus, probably perturbed by his suddenly bad mood.

Lily was pulled from her thoughts by Dumbledore beginning his closing statements for the end of the feast. He did his usual spiel about unity and light finding a way in the darkness, but Lily tuned most of it out, her eyes firmly on Severus.

She had hoped she could snag him before they all parted ways for the night, but was dismayed when the moment the students were dismissed, Severus darted from the Great Hall like a dementor was after him, not once looking Lily's way.

Lily dourly made her way back to the dorms in a funk. She didn't want things to be so stressed between her and Sev, really she didn't. Not when they'd become so close; they'd been on tentative, shaky ground with each other regarding their blossoming feelings and the last thing Lily wanted was for Severus to retroactively undo all the progress they'd made towards something more.

They'd had differences of opinion before, but normally they'd make up rather quickly, Severus seeking her out to make amends.

Now that she thought about it, this was the first time Severus had ever stormed off in a huff and resolved not to talk with her. Normally she gave the cold shoulder.

Maybe she should go to Sev's dorm and ask for him…

"Hey Evans," James called out to her suddenly, "Wait up."

Lily groaned, last thing she needed right now was Marauder shenanigans, "What do you want, James?"

James held his hands up, "Woah, what's will the hostility? I just wanted to ask how your holiday was."

Lily sighed, fixing her expression to one a little less unfriendly, "My holiday was great, James. And yours?"

James smiled, "It was great. Fantastic even. Spent some quality time with Jess. Romantic stuff, like dinner and candles. The works, you know?"

Lily couldn't help feeling a tinge of jealousy. She and Severus should be doing things like that, "That sounds lovely, James," she bit out, cringing at how unconvincing she sounded.

Something flashed across James' face for second—glee, perhaps—before he adopted a look of concern.

"You seemed a little glum at dinner," James stated, "Something happen between you and Snape?"

Lily was a little taken aback that James could be so astute, more so that he actually chose to refer to Severus by his surname instead of 'Snivellous'.

"I'm alright," Lily assured, "Just had a little disagreement is all."

"I'm sorry to hear that," James said.

Lily snorted, "Please, you've never liked Sev. You must be overjoyed at the thought of us possibly fighting."

James shook his head, "No really. I'm sorry you two fought. I know how much he means to you."

Lily side-eyed James suspiciously, he wasn't normally this mature, "Well…that's very kind of you…Goodnight."

"Actually," James called, "I was wondering if you could help me out with something."

Lily rolled her eyes, of course he needed a favor, "So you didn't just want to ask me how I've been."

"No I did," James claimed, "But look…there's this flower, right? It grows right outside the greenhouse and only in the snow, not one of Sprout's flowers. I know Jess absolutely adores it. It's like a purple winter rose or something."

"I think I know which flower you're talking about," Lily said, recalling the plant from when it sprouted up previous years.

"Great," James said excitedly, "I need you to come with me to get it."

"What?" Lily asked in confusion, "Right now?"

James smiled, "Of course! I'm not allowed outside after curfew, but Prefects are. You could just say you were escorting me back to the dorms if we got caught."

"Why don't you pick it in the morning?" Lily asked.

"Because it has to be tonight," James insisted, "I want it as a gift for Jess, for our first night back together at Hogwarts since the holidays."

"But you saw her  _during_  the holidays," Lily pointed out.

"Please, Lily?" James begged, "It would really mean a lot to me."

"…"

"I'm going out there with or without you and if I get caught, that's points loss for Gryffindor on the first night of the new term," James wheedled, "Doesn't look good on us, does it."

"Fine," Lily said in exasperation, "Let's get this over with."

James beamed, "Thanks Lily. Jess will be thrilled."

"Whatever," Lily stormed down the hallways, eager to get this down and put this whole crummy day behind her.

James followed merrily, a spring in his step.

"So…pretty romantic of me, huh? Risking detention for my girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Lily griped, not even bothering to hide her irritation this time, "Real romantic."

She missed the triumphant look on James face at her mood.

 

{page break}

 

' _Well isn't this familiar,'_  Severus thought.

Settling down outside the portrait hole, he waited for the third year he sent in with a message to return with Lily.

"Why is it always me begging outside the door?" Severus wondered aloud.

After quickly leaving the Great Hall, Severus fully intended to go to bed quite anger and righteously so for once. There was a bit of satisfaction in knowing that regardless of how his research started the fight, Lily was ultimately the one who had crossed a line for once. The more common routine was Lily being unreasonable, Severus getting mad, and then he'd be the one saying something he shouldn't and Lily would leave. This was the first time he'd ever felt truly the wronged party in an argument.

Still, as Severus stared at the canopy of his bed, he could not find peace. He kept replaying the argument in his head, reevaluating his words, Lily's words, generally just the whole conversation. Things could have turned out so differently if they weren't so quick to anger.

He kept thinking of Lily, how upset she'd been.

What if she was crying?

With a sigh, Severus gave up on sleeping his bad mood off and begrudgingly made his way to the Gryffindor tower.

' _I'm not apologizing,'_  Severus had told himself the whole way there,  _'I'm just going to suggest we talk about this rationally._ She's _the one who needs to apologize.'_

And so here he sat, waiting on Lily to get over her high and mighty attitude of 'rightness' and come talk things out reasonably. Really, she was lucky he even bothered to speak with her after what she said.

When the portrait hole swung open, Severus got to his feet, expecting the wall of stubbornness that was Lily Evans to come out and apologize while still berating him. However, instead of a contrite yet defiant Lily, it was Mary standing in the portrait hole.

"Severus," Mary said, confusion clear in her eyes, "Someone told me you were out here. What are you doing?"

"I'm here for Lily," Severus explained, "I was hoping she and I could have a talk. Clear the air, you know?"

Mary nodded, "Ah that makes sense. Unfortunately she isn't here right now."

"She isn't?" Severus cocked an eyebrow, "Is she on patrol?"

"Not exactly," Mary said, "From what I understand, Potter wanted her help with something, practically begged for her assistance, so she left with him."

"She's with Potter?" Severus repeated, a frowning overtaking his face.

"Yeah," Mary said, "Something about picking flowers, I think. I didn't really catch the gist of it, just what Black said."

"Flowers?" Severus parroted, gritting his teeth. That Potter was a clever one; luring Lily out under such a pretense. Picking flowers out in the moonlight was romantic enough as it is, but given the snowy weather, there was only one type of flower Severus could see them looking for, and it was a truly beautiful one. Surely Lily would be able to see what an obvious ploy it was, no matter what reason Potter gave for wanting it.

Or…was that it entirely? Did Lily know it was an attempt to get her alone and go willingly, just to spite him? Was she so mad about the research that she would willingly fall into his most hated enemy's arms just to rub salt in the wounds? He'd like to say he didn't think Lily capable of such cruelty, but he also never thought she'd compare him to his father, or mock him for his circumstances.

" _I'd wash my pants if I were you,"_  she'd said by the lake during their falling out. She'd deliberately attacked his poverty then, knowing full well his clothes were dirty not due to a lack of cleanliness, but due to being years old and bought second hand. She knew he couldn't afford to care better for himself or his belongings, much less his clothes and still she'd lashed out at one of the elements of his life that he'd felt the most shame.

And now she'd run off with Potter, a boy who fancied her. Considering how close Severus and she had become recently, she must know how that would make him feel.

"Severus?" Mary prodded, drawing Severus from his thoughts, "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Severus said unconvincingly, leaning against the wall, "Just…tired is all," he slid down the wall with a sigh, "Didn't have the best ride in."

"Yeah, I heard about the fight," Mary said, sitting next to Severus, "Did you two get into an argument?"

"You could say that," Severus replied, "We had a difference of opinion."

"What about?" Mary asked.

Severus shook his head, "It's complicated…or maybe its not…I'm not sure anymore. It's just," he searched for the right words, not really willing to go into details in case Mary decided to get mad about it too, "Avery's out there and he's coming for us. I'm sure of it. And if it isn't him, then it will be someone else. Shouldn't that mean we should take every available opportunity to defend ourselves?"

Severus sighed again, "And yet Lily seems to think that pulling out all the stops would just be stooping to their level…that I'd be no better than them."

"That's not true," Mary said.

"Yeah," Severus agreed noncommittally.

"I mean it," Mary said more forcibly, turning to look at him, "Severus, you are nothing like those guys. You helped people, you helped me."

"I helped Lily too," Severus pointed out, "But that doesn't change how she feels about certain magic."

"Well it changes how I feel," Mary declared, "Listen, Sev. Mulciber's out there and I'm scared," she reached over, taking Severus's hand, "I'm scared and I don't know what to do anymore. If you have some way of protecting us from the likes of him, I'm all for taking it."

Mary looked Severus over contemplatively, "You're thinking of using that spell, aren't you?"

Severus blinked, "How did you—?"

Mary shrugged, "You said Lily is against you using certain magic to protect us. That was a pretty strong spell you made back then. I figured if you were going to start upping your defenses, might as well start with what you know."

"And you're okay with that?" Severus inquired.

Mary huffed, "After what Mulciber did I'm okay with anything you can do to him."

"There's more to it than that," Severus admitting, venturing on unsteady ground with what he was about to say next, "I'm working on Legilimency…the power to enter someone's mind—just to ensure Rosier isn't planning something," he added hastily, "Who knows what he might try and do?"

Mary didn't say anything, just sat thinking it over.

"Mary?" Severus asked after a few minutes of silence, "How do you…feel about that?"

Slowly, Mary turned to look at Severus.

"Do it," she said, her eyes hard, "Those bastards lost the right to privacy when I lost the right to mine."

"I mean it, Severus," Mary continued, squeezing Severus's hand, "If you think that can keep us safe, do what you have to."

Severus smiled a little, relieved, "At least someone sees my side of things."

"Lily will come around. She's been your friend for forever, after all," Mary put her head on Severus's shoulder leaning into him, "You're really something Severus. Looking out for us, standing up to those two, and now you're fighting to keep us safe."

"I just don't want anyone else to get hurt," Severus admitted.

"I'm glad you're here for us," Mary said fondly. She paused, looking away, "Listen Sev…there's something I've been meaning to give you for a while now."

"Oh?" Severus asked.

"Think of it as a late Christmas gift," Mary went on, "It's what I wanted to give you in place of that silly book."

"The book was much appreciated," Severus said, becoming confused. He couldn't help notice that Mary was still holding his hand.

"But it's not what I wanted to give you," Mary insisted, "I've been thinking about this a lot and…"

Severus flinched at the unexpected touch of Mary's hand upon his cheek, drawing him towards her. Before he could question what she was doing, Mary leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I should start running now, shouldn't I?
> 
> For the record this twist was planned out from the beginning. I wonder if any of you picked up the small hints of Mary's interest in him, like her sudden change to using makeup and caring about his opinion on it.
> 
> Never fear people, I am a devoted Snily fan. But what is romance without a little drama, eh? 
> 
> So here's a little look into both Sev and Lily's heads. You'll notice they can be quite hypocritical and narrow minded, as impulsive teenagers are.
> 
> Lily is unable to see past the damage caused by Severus spell and mainly, is acting out of fear. It's hard to get over seeing someone nearly bleed out in front of you. Much like a child scarred by the horror of accidentally shooting a friend while playing with their parent's gun, Lily is frightened by the spell that caused the harm, even though it wasn't she who fired it. The very thought of the spell instantly sends her back to that day, watching the life leaking out of her best friend.
> 
> So naturally she is going to be very biased against the use of it, no matter how useful it could be for protecting them both. She's also digging her heels in, in true Gryffindor fashion, at the idea of using dark magic to fight dark wizards. Because people like Dumbledore are light and are so powerful, she is fully convinced there are light magic spells that can trump over darkness, completely oblivious to the fact that Dumbledore is so powerful in part due to his willingness to use dark spells when the occasion calls for it. But of course that fault lies with Dumbledore for leading people to believe he is above using dark magic.
> 
> Lily's also thoroughly against toying with someone's mind because of her own traumatic experience with someone toying with her body. For many sexual assault victims, the mind is an escape; a place to retreat to that even your attacker will never have access to. In a way, it represents the one last fortress of your body when all others have fallen. So to Lily, the mind is a very sacred thing. Not that she is calm enough to explain it to Severus during the heat of the moment.
> 
> Severus is very single minded here. He's too hurt to make excuses for Lily, despite the fact that he is himself guilty of lashing out at someone when angry. Heck, he even thinks about what Lily said to him at the lake, a low blow he thought she would never strike, but he's too blinded by his own hurt feelings right now to think about how he had literally done the same to her that day. Normally he'd be far more level headed, but with all the stress of his mother, his father, and now the argument, he is sort of at an emotional overload and too exhausted to sort out his thoughts.
> 
> Keep in mind that canon Snape tended to have tunnel vision when upset fixating majorly on how he was wronged and how someone needs to be at fault for it. His single mindedness in wanting revenge against Sirius in the third book is a good example of how focused he can be on one thing to the point of tuning out all reason (not saying he was wrong for hating Sirius, but he WAS more concerned about getting back at the guy than the fact that this believed murderer was possibly endangering Harry and his friends; he didn't want to catch Sirius to save anyone at that moment, he just wanted to settle an old score and we all know it).
> 
> Anyone sad to see Avery and Mulciber go? I'm not. This was also planned for the start. I couldn't imagine a more fitting use for them after they had failed Voldy. He's a cold, calculating man who utilizing everything at his disposal. Throwing away his followers would be foolish, and something he only stated doing near the end of the second war out of desperation and rage over losing control of the situation with his Horcruxes. He strikes me as someone who would want to ensure his followers aren't free of servitude even in death, so that's how I imagine he acquired some of the inferi in the lake, by using his own men.
> 
> Please leave a review. Much Obliged :)


	59. Bathroom Chitchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to ask Myrtle some questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, everyone!
> 
> I'm loving the reviews right now. Everyone sharing their own viewpoints and perspectives on right and wrong, Severus's choices and the moral ambiguity of war in general has been quite enlightening. I can certainly see all of your points and concede that Severus looking out for himself during the war is perhaps not outright selfish; there isn't much he could have done to prevent Voldy's actions after he joined, even less he could have done to try and convince the guy to stop targeting an infant. So yes, him choosing to beg only for Lily's life was him probably accepting the grim reality that there was no way in hell he would have gotten Harry to be spared the Dark Lord's wrath and pursuing the issue would have most likely cost him his life for insubordination. So, Lily was the only one he could save, being the most inconsequential to the Dark Lord.
> 
> One thing I stand by though is this: Snape WAS a bully as an adult. It wasn't strict teaching as some have referred to it as. No volatile substance is a reason to abuse your power to belittle, taunt, goad, and intimidate CHILDREN when you are in a position of authority capable of getting away with it, nor is it an excuse to make up violations to punish them for (blaming harry on his first day for supposedly not warning Neville about a potion ingredient in what Snape claimed was an attempt to look better by comparison) or deliberately encouraging the behavior of bullies (Draco) and turning a blind eye to their actions (he not only refused to acknowledge what Draco did to Hermione's teeth in fourth year, he taunted her for her appearance by claiming the outrageously sized and absurd looking teeth looked no different than her usual appearance).
> 
> Severus did exactly what his former tormentors did by capitalizing on children's self esteem, lack of confidence, and insercurities and made several students absolutely dread and fear his presence. That's not much different than him dreading and hating his own school days due to trepidation of insults, and hexes at the hands of people who would get away with it.
> 
> Maybe you could argue that what he did was unintentional and only a desire to protect students from dangerous potions...if he hadn't absolutely RELISHED how it made students miserable. As much as I love Snape and relate to his childhood, keep inn mind he DID once threaten and techinically attempt to poison Trevor, Neville's beloved pet, by force feeding it a potion of Neville's that he had no proof was harmless.
> 
> How would you feel as a chemist if your teacher decided to take a concoction you messed up and then forced it down your kitten's throat to "see if it worked"?
> 
> Pretty sure you would call the police.
> 
> I personally think standing over an injured child and screaming insults at them for their mistakes is akin to child abuse and Snape did that on several occasions when students got hurt in his class, especially Neville. You wouldn't stand over someone who was hit by a car to tel them they were stupid for not looking both ways. You'd show concern first, get them help, THEN process the mistake they made that could have been avoided.
> 
> Snape should know better and it was a shame that the harsh world he lived taught him such behavior (let's be honest, the adults' indifference is part of the reason he took over the role of bully, because he literally sees people demonstrating an abuse of power whenever they had it, so what else was he going to do once he got the reins?) It doesn't excuse his behavior, but better explains it and that's why I still love snape despite his shitty actions
> 
> Well regardless, that's simply my personal opinion and you're welcome to disagree with me.
> 
> Well enough of that, on with the show!

* * *

"So…" Davis began hesitantly, "How are we going to do this?"

Severus and his friends stood outside the bathroom infamously known as Moaning Myrtle's abode. Even in the hall, they could hear sighs of melancholy and sniffling, broken up by the occasional dramatic wail. Myrtle was in true form that day, as the floor beneath their feet was wet from the flooded sinks and toilets spilling into the hall. It was anyone's guess what had set her off this time.

"What do you mean 'how'?" Simone asked, "We go in there and ask her."

Davis scoffed, "Yes, because I'm sure several nosey students popping into to ask her 'Hey Myrtle…how'd you die?' is not going to offend her."

"If I was a subject of a discussion I'd like to know about it," Mary pointed out, "Better be upfront with her than talk about someone behind their back."

"It's not like we can tell her anything, though," Severus put forth, "Myrtle is a notorious attention seeker. If we give her crucial information, there is no guarantee she won't share it with someone else just to be the center of attention for a few seconds."

"Good point," Simone agreed, "Look how she gave you clues about the Baron. Even while trying to respect his privacy she still managed to share enough to feel special."

"I'm not saying we tell her everything," Mary said, "But we can tell her we're curious about how she died—which we are. Given how much she likes the focus being on her, she might be flattered that we're so interested."

Severus mulled the suggestion over, "So we play her love of the spotlight to our advantage. Yes…that could work. Good idea, Mary."

Mary beamed at Severus, leaning in closer to him.

Lily tried to ignore the way Mary's arm wrapped so tightly around Severus's, the dark haired boy oblivious to the closeness or unbothered by it.

"Well, we're burning daylight here," Simone announced, "Let's head in."

"Hold up," Davis said suddenly, halting everyone's trek into the bathroom, "This is a girl's loo. Why are Severus and I needed for this at all?"

"Because Severus has built up somewhat of a rapport with Myrtle," Thea explained, "Besides, she may want to talk just to impress you two; she's…a little boy crazy."

"Happens when you died at the peak of teenage hormones," Simone quipped.

Severus grimaced, "I'd like the plan better if I didn't have to seduce information out of her…"

Nesme patted his shoulder, "Consider it spy work. You're like James Bond."

Severus snorted, "Which one? The one who thinks he should be able to slap women, or the one synonymous with forgettable?"

Nesme blinked, "Which one was the latter?"

"Exactly," Severus said.

"Enough dawdling," Simone proclaimed loudly, "Let's get going."

Trudging through the water, the group entered the bathroom with a fair amount of unease. Myrtle was harmless, but her presence could be particularly draining given her dour and moody personality. There was also the issue of never knowing when she was going to spray you with toilet water for a perceived insult.

Coming to stand by the nearest sink, Severus stared up at where Myrtle was currently hovering forlornly, sniffling and whimpering to herself.

"Rough day, Myrtle?" he asked casually.

Myrtle jumped with a start, sending herself up towards the ceiling in surprise.

"Severus," she cried, "You scared me have to life."

"Doesn't she mean half to death?" Nesme questioned, only to be shushed by Simone.

"I see you've brought girls with you," Myrtle said disdainfully, her eyes lingering particularly long on Lily, "Including that one. She intruded on our evening in the library."

Mary shot Severus a questioning look, looking back and forth between him and Lily.

"Research," Severus said, waving off her concerns before addressing Myrtle, "I do believe Peeves proved to be a bigger interruption in the end."

Myrtle's face screwed up in distress, "It's been a month since I thought of that. That wretched pest! How dare he make fun of meee!" she floated over to a corner, shoulders quaking.

"Don't get her worked up," Simone hissed, cuffing Severus in the back of the head, "We can't have her taking off down the U-bend before we get some answers."

"She's acting like she and I had a date that night," Severus shot back, "I only asked her to come with me because as a ghost she could provide useful surveillance. I didn't ask her out!"

Simone sneered, "Oh wah! What's more important; your pride or our mission?"

"Are you mocking me—"

"Look here, Myrtle," Nesme said suddenly, taking charge of the situation while Simone and Severus bickered, "We brought a friend we'd like you to meet."

She dragged Davis out to the front of the group, waving her hands in a ta-da sort of fanfare.

Myrtle turned around, her gaze falling upon the Ravenclaw.

"Ooh, another boy," she cooed, coming back over to the others, "And he's handsome too…"

Davis flushed up to his ears, "Um…h-hullo. I'm Davis."

"Hello Davis," Myrtle said coyly, floating closer, "I'm Myrtle."

"Yes, I know," Davis said nervously, "I mean I've heard a lot about you. Good things of course."

"Of course," Myrtle said, "Nesme never talks bad about me. She and I can relate to each other."

"We're unconventionally pretty," Nesme declared.

"We are," Myrtle agreed, "Not enough people appreciate our…unique looks."

"I-I do," Davis said, keeping Myrtle's attention on him for the sake of the plan, "I greatly appreciate unique beauty."

"Is that so?" Myrtle side eyed Nesme, "So are you her…boyfriend."

"No," Nesme said quickly, lest Myrtle's interest in Davis wane, "He's my friend. Like a brother, really."

She missed the somewhat offended look Davis shot her.

"Ooh," Myrtle said, her interest in Davis renewed, "And he's a Ravenclaw. That was my House, you know?"

"Unsurprising," Davis replied, "Given how smart I'm told you are."

"Me? Smart?" Myrtle practically preened, "You're so sweet," she moved her hand as if to shove Davis playfully, but it just went right through him, causing Davis to resist a shudder at the cold chill.

"This is working out better than expected," Lily mused.

"Yeah, because unlike Snape, Davis knows how to talk to women," Simone said with a smirk.

"Severus does too," Lily defended in a hushed whisper, "He's just…shy."

She turned her gaze to Severus, Mary's hand still wrapped around his as they watched Myrtle and Davis.

"And unavailable," Lily added ruefully to herself.

Simone shared a questioning look with Thea, the latter shrugging her shoulders.

"So Myrtle," Nesme said, bringing everyone's attention back to the present, "I've told Davis here an awful lot about you since you and I first met. He's been  _dying_  to meet you ever since."

Myrtle giggled, seeming to like the morbid pun.

"But you know," Nesme went on, "There's one question I haven't been able to answer for him, one he would very much like to know."

Nesme thumped Davis on the back, signaling him to take over.

"Oh…well," Davis looked up at Myrtle hesitantly, "I was wondering…if it wasn't too rude of me asking…you know…"

Nesme elbowed Davis harshly.

"Howdidyoudie?" Davis blurted out in a rush.

Everyone held their collectively breaths, waiting for a response. Myrtle was so easy to set off sometimes, some moments she seemed proud of her ghost-hood, other times referencing her undead state sent her into a downward spiral of depression. It was really a roulette game wondering which reaction you could get.

To everyone's surprise, Myrtle lit up in excitement, her usually dowdy, glum features lightening into what could be considered almost cute.

"It was awful," she said with relish, "It happened here in this bathroom."

She glided over to the far stall, looking it over adoringly, "In this very stall."

"Can you recall anything specific?" Severus questioned.

"Yes," Myrtle said with glee, loving how intrigued everyone appeared, "Olive Hornby had been making fun of my glasses again, so I came in here to get away from her. I was crying, you see…dreadfully distraught."

"Olive being a right pain in the ass again," Severus said. As much as Myrtle worn his nerves and patience thin, he couldn't help but share in her resentment for the long since passed Hornby. Myrtle must have had it rough as it was being in school with few friends to call her own; she didn't need a bullying constantly wearing her down over her looks and unpopularity.

Myrtle took great pleasure in Severus trash talking Olive, "She was a nasty thing. Anyway, I was hiding in here to get away from her when someone came in. I thought it was very strange because I had locked the door."

"Only a prefect or teacher would be able to get in," Lily whispered to the others while Myrtle was wrapped up in reminiscing, "The bathrooms are spelled to prevent an invasion of privacy by other students, even with the use of alohomora."

"And we know one prefect who took credit for finding Myrtle's killer," Severus said out the corner of his mouth.

Davis and Nesme meanwhile, were schmoozing Myrtle for whatever information they could get.

"How awful, Myrtle," Nesme said sympathetically, "You were already being treated unfairly and then someone had the audacity to barge in here when you needed time to yourself."

"Downright rude, it is," Davis agreed.

Myrtle glowed under all the attention she was getting, loving a captive audience, "Oh it was! And to top it off, they were speaking utter nonsense. Some sort of funny, made=up language, I think. Whatever it was I couldn't understand a word of it."

"Did you see who it was," Mary asked.

Myrtle shook her head, "Never got the chance to, I'm afraid. You see, I realized it was a boy speaking. Boys were not to come in here—not that I mind them now, though," she added, batting her eyes at Davis, "But at the time, it was absolutely unheard of. So I came out of my stall to tell whomever it was to go away…but's that is about as far as I got. I died on the spot."

"That's all you recall," Severus pushed, "This boy didn't say a spell or anything? No flash of light?"

Myrtle shrugged, "Nothing of the sort."

Severus sighed, "Well it ticks off a few of our suspicious, but leaves some questions unanswered."

"I did see something though," Myrtle announced.

Severus perked up, "You did? What was it?"

Myrtle stared off into the distance, her eyes going hazy as she sifted through her memory.

"I only saw it for a moment," she said seriously, "But I'll never forget it. The last thing I saw was a pair of great, big, yellow eyes…" she pointed across from her stall, "Over there…by that sink."

It was the farthest sink from the door, tucked into the corner adjacent Myrtle's stall, right below the dingy stained glass window. All the other sinks had layers of grim appearing in streaks due to constant streams of water washing segments of dust away during Myrtle's repeated bathroom flooding. However, the final sink was untouched, the grim in one thick and consistent layer.

Cautiously, everyone approached the filthy sink. They moved slowly as if something would burst out of it at any minute. Yet nothing happened.

Curious, Severus walked over to examine the sink. He felt along the wall around the mirror, traced the pipes underneath with a finger. He found nothing amiss.

"Looks like a normal sink to me," he announced, stepping back.

"It's in worse shape than the others," Nesme observed. She wiped away some dirt from the mirror and grimaced at how much of it caked to her hand, "Much worse." She turned the faucet and stuck her hand under the tap expectantly.

"That's sink's never worked," Myrtle informed them, "They say that it has been broken for as long as the school has existed."

"That has to be an exaggeration," Lily said, "That such a pointless legend to pass down through the years."

Nesme stepped over to the next sink, washing off her hands, "Well it certainly isn't working now, regardless. They should probably get that fixed."

Severus ran a finger along the surface of the sink, "Still, it's strange how anything large could have wedged itself into this tight space between the sinks and stalls to kill you, Myrtle. Are you sure you didn't hear anything other than the boy talking? No other footsteps of someone or something entering, perhaps?"

"No," Myrtle replied, "I felt some shaking, but that was it. It didn't feel like footsteps though…more like the castle shaking."

Severus tapped his chin in thought, "An earthquake perhaps?"

"I think more people would have noticed before then," Simone pointed out, "Had to have been localized to this area."

"That just creates even more questions," Severus muttered, "Mrytle, you're sure you never saw anything else. A little of what the thing looked like, maybe?"

Myrtle shook her head, "I never got a chance to see what sort of face those eyes were in. I was drawn to them the moment I opened the door. My eyes just sort of locked onto them. Then everything went dark."

She paused, looking at Severus, "You're asking an awful lot of questions? Why do you want to know so badly?"

"I…just thought it might be nice to actually know what happened to you," Severus lied, "Surely you've had your own questions about this since the day you died. It's all so strange to just wake up dead, so to speak. Weren't you confused?"

"I was," Myrtle admitted, "But I didn't dwell on it long. I was too busy waiting for someone to come and find me. I thought I'd finally get the chance to see someone care; to witness someone drop to their knees and weep for me.  _'Not Myrtle! Poor, sweet, Myrtle!'_ …but it was hours before they found me. No one even cared that I was missing for several hours."

Myrtle sniffled, wiping her eyes, "The only reason I was even discovered was because Headmaster Dippet sent that wretch Olive Hornby to come looking for me," she sniffed, "I imagine he thought she'd apologize and we'd move on. He never took her bullying seriously."

"I can relate," Severus said under his breath.

"Oh, but I got her good," Myrtle said gleefully, "You should have seen Olive when she found my body. She never got over it; I made sure of that. Haunted her most of her life, you see. Only came back here when she finally went to the Ministry to have me chased off."

"Not my first choice, honestly," Myrtle added, looking towards the broken sink, "I can still picture those eyes when I look at that sink. It's why I keep my stall door closed, so I don't have to look at it."

No one could blame her for feeling that way. It was hard to imagine spending eternity floating around the place where a mysterious creature killed you. Rather eerie to think about.

"Still it would have been nice if someone missed me," Myrtle mourned, "My parents were heartbroken, but did anyone else care?" Myrtle buried her face in her hands, "No! In fact, I'm sure they were all thrilled. No more moping, moaning, miserable Myrtle!"

With an a painfully loud shriek of despair, Myrtle shot up into the air and dove into her stall, water splashing up loudly behind the closed door.

"Well that was informative at least," Davis said finally.

"Most informative," Severus agreed, ushering everyone out of the bathroom and out of earshot of Myrtle, "It's safe to say Riddle may very well be behind all this."

Simone nodded, "We can't be sure yet, but the facts are certainly adding up. He was a prefect; only prefects and professors can enter locked bathrooms. And I doubt a professor would kill a student."

"At least not one who would continue to be employed here," Thea said, "It sounds like Dumbledore was pretty confident Hagrid wasn't responsible, so he probably had a good idea who did kill Myrtle."

"Plus spiders have more than one set of eyes," Severus said, "And they definitely aren't yellow. It also seems very unlikely one could kill Myrtle without leaving any discernable mark—a fact overlooked by the school board in their desperation to name a culprit and assuage parent's fears for their children's safety."

"Riddle's middle name is Marvolo," Davis added, "That sounds Romani. Do you think that was the language Myrtle heard him speaking?"

"Anything's possible," Severus conceded.

Mary screwed up her face in thought, "So Riddle is certainly suspicious enough to play a part in Myrtle's death…do you think that he also is the one who hid the diadem?"

Severus mulled it over, "It's highly possible at this point; someone capable of manipulation and duplicity like that would have no trouble charming Helena into revealing where she hid it prior to her death. And if he truly did kill Myrtle, then dark magic on a relic would be child's play to him."

"If we could find a picture of him, we could show it to the Grey Lady and ask if he looks familiar," Nesme suggested, "She can't recall off the top of her head who exactly tricked her back then, but perhaps a photo could job her memory."

"Hogwarts doesn't have year books, though," Lily pointed out.

"What's a year book?" Davis asked curiously.

"A book with pictures of all the students of a school, divided by year and events," Lily explained, "My sister Tuney got one every year from school."

Simone hummed, "Something like that would be rather useful right now. Riddle's our prime suspect, but for all we know there were other devious students during his time at Hogwarts; any of them potentially capable of murder or dark magic, or both."

Thea nodded, "From what I gathered in our dorm, Riddle was Head Boy, just like the student who Helena spoke of, but that doesn't automatically mean they are the same person. It could have been a Head Boy from before or after Riddle's Seventh year. What we need is to show Helena a number of pictures to see who stands out to her."

"A useful tool which we do not have," Severus said.

"Or maybe we do…" Lily said suddenly.

Everyone stopped to look at her.

"What are you on about, Evans," Simone asked.

Lily grinned, "Slughorn has pictures of every slug Club group he's ever had. I've seen it in a photo album he keeps in his office. Slughorn is so hungry for the greatness of others, that I'm sure that plenty of those students over the years were prefects and Head Boys and Girls who excelled and were therefore 'marked for greatness'."

"And Riddle was a Slytherin Prefect and Head Boy who received an award from the school for 'solving' Myrtle's death," Severus said, his eyes lighting up, "He'd definitely be in the Slug Club. Good thinking Lily."

Lily held his gaze, smiling back at him. After a few seconds, realization dawned on Severus's face just who he was talking to and he broke eye contact, looking away awkwardly, leaving Lily feeling sad and dejected.

No one seemed to notice the exchange except Simone.

"We should get to our next classes," she announced loudly, clapping her hands and making shooing gestures, "Come on, come on, we don't want to be late."

"But what about the pictures?" Nesme whined, looking for any reason to not go back to class.

"Snape and Evans are Slughorn's favorite students," Simone pointed out, "They would have an easy time getting close to him. He'll probably whip the album out if asked, just to show off how many people he 'discovered' before they got famous."

Mary sidled up to Severus, "Walk me to class, Sev?"

Lily bristled at the use of  _her_  nickname for Severus.

Severus cast uncomfortable look at his friends before shrugging, "I suppose."

Pleased, Mary linked arms with Severus and led him away.

Nesme stared after them, perplexed, "Is anyone else getting a weird vibe from those two…?"

"Class, Nesme," Simone barked.

Nesme jumped with a start, casting a bewildered glance at Simone as she reluctantly walked off with Davis.

"Hold it," Simone said, throwing an arm out in front of Lily as the redhead went to pass her.

Lily groaned, "I'm going to be late."

"Only if you beat around the bush and don't answer my questions," Simone replied, "Now spill: what's going on between you and Snape?"

Lily sighed, she really didn't want to talk about the rift between her and Severus. She hadn't even had a chance to talk with him yet. The next time she saw Severus since the argument, Mary was already wrapped around him like a limpet.

Lily was took hurt then to do anything.

"Nothing is going on. If you were paying attention just now," Lily gestured towards where Mary and Severus once stood, you can clearly see that I'm not the one he has something with."

"What I see if that MacDonald is suddenly glued to Snape's side when last I checked, you and he were about one confession away from settling down and having dozens of gangly ginger children running around," Simone replied.

Lily frowned, "Well things change."

"What things?" Thea asked.

"It's complicated," Lily answered.

"So is life in general," Simone said back, "To be honest, I'm surprised Mary had the nerve to steal him from you. I was under the impression you two girls were friends."

"She didn't know things were heating up between Sev and me," Lily defended; though part of her really wanted to tear Mary's hair out, "I never exactly told her I had feelings for him."

Simone snorted, "And she couldn't figure it out just by watching you two together?"

"You were pretty obvious," Thea agreed.

"She thinks he's just my best friend," Lily stated, "Mary's not the type to assume two people who hang out a lot are automatically a couple."

"So she's oblivious," Simone surmised, "Probably too busy caught up in her own little crush to notice your feelings."

"I think it's more than a crush," Lily said morosely.

Simone shook her head, "I don't think so. I mean, what does she have to be in love with? The fact that he saved her? Sounds more like hero worship to me."

"He saved me too," Lily pointed out, "What's to say I'm not in love with him for all the wrong reasons as well?"

"You and Severus have a history together," Thea said.

Simone nodded, "Quite right. Mary wasn't mean to Snape like other people were, but up until this past summer, she hardly paid attention to his existence. He was just 'Lily's Slytherin friend'. Now he's saved her and she's romanticizing the ordeal like something out of a dime store novel. But you," Simone poked Lily in the chest, "Try and tell me there wasn't a part of you that's always felt a little something for Snape."

"Well I mean, I had a little crush on him when we were children," Lily admitted, quite flustered, "But that's just because he was the first boy I ever spent time with. After that he was my friend;  _just_  friends. My feelings are just as recent as Mary's."

"Oh really?" Simone asked with a grin.

Thea smacked Simone on the arm, "Sim, don't pry."

"It's alright," Lily assured Thea, before turning back to Simone, "No, I didn't 'always' have a thing for Severus."

"Then let me ask you this," Simone suggested, "When you pictured coming to Hogwarts for the first time, did you think of Snape there?"

"Yes," Lily said.

"When you imagined graduating…was Snape there?" Simone continued to prod.

"…Yes," Lily said, confused by where this was all going.

Simone grinned, all teeth, "And when you thought about your dream wedding someday…was Snape there as well?"

"Of course he was," Lily snapped impatiently, "He's my best friend. Why wouldn't he be there?"

Simone just continued to smile, "Tell me something, Evans. When you pictured your wedding…did you ever imagine some mystery man waiting for you at the end of the aisle as your groom…or was the only guy in your imagination Snape and you just never stopped to question why?"

Lily blinked, "I…"

Simone smirked, "Got you stumped, don't I?"

"That's not…" Lily stammered, "You've got it all wrong…I…"

"How many firsts have you imagined experiencing with Snape that you just never stopped to think about?" Simone asked curiously, "Ever girl thinks about their first kiss. Did you hope yours would be with him?"

Lily blushed, "I wouldn't say hoped. I just rather assumed it would be. I mean, we did everything together."

"So being romantic together was something you assumed would just naturally come to be?" Simone inquired, "Sounds like your crush was a little more than you make it out to be."

"Well it doesn't matter now," Lily said bitterly, glaring at Simone in embarrassment, "I've lost my chance with him."

Simone hummed, crossing her arms over her chest, "And I would like to know why that is?"

"We fought okay," Lily bit out sullenly.

Simone cocked her head, "About what?"

Lily refused to answer, looking away stubbornly.

"If you can't tell us, who can you tell, Lily," Thea asked honestly, "It may help to get it off your chest."

Lily thought about it, her resolve starting to crumble. She didn't have anyone else she could talk to about this. Jess and Mel were out of the question due to their overall lack of support for Lily's friendship with Sev and Mary was definitely the wrong person to discuss it with considering she was with Sev now. Marlene would do her best to keep it a secret, but the fact of the matter was she tended to get loose lips when she had a few fire whiskeys in her.

Lily had wrote to Petunia seeing as her sister was already aware of the developing feelings between Lily and Severus, but it would be a few days before a reply came back and talking things out over letters wasn't nearly as satisfying as a face-to-face conversation.

"I compared him to his father," she said softly.

Long silence met her statement.

"And what," Simone began after a short pause, "in Merlin's green earth possessed you to do something so monumentally stupid?"

"Because Sev was doing bad things," Lily protested, "Things he shouldn't do."

"Care to enlighten us?" Simone asked sarcastically, "Because I fail to see how anything he did would justify it."

"I didn't say it was justified! I just snapped. I…Severus is working on his spells again," Lily admitted, "The bad one. The one that almost killed him."

"Sectumsempra?" Thea asked, "I thought he didn't trust that spell anymore."

"Well apparently he changed his mind," Lily sniffed, "He's been perfecting it, trying to improve it or something. I can't imagine why he'd want to have anything to do with that awful spell after what it nearly did to him; it's as dark as they come."

"Now hang on a second," Simone interjected, "I thought you understood now that dark and light magic weren't black and white."

"I do!" Lily insisted, "But that spell nearly killed him. Why go back to it?"

"Because it is a useful defense?" Simone suggested, "I assume he wants to better protect you and himself. Can't say I blame him."

Lily huffed, "Why can't he use other spells though? Why one so…dark."

"Because it's effective," Simone stated, "Why use a knife when you've already got a sword?"

"That  _sword_  nearly took his head off!" Lily exclaimed, "He could have died that day. You weren't there, you didn't see what it did to him."

"Lily…" Thea began.

Lily cut her off, "No! You didn't watch him bleed out, feel his life slip out of him. I was there. I almost lost him!"

Thea's eyes widened in understanding.

"Ah," Simone said beside her, "I get it now…"

Lily frowned, "…what?"

"You can't think of that spell without fearing you're going to lose him again," Simone summarized, "When you hear that spell, you think about how close he came to dying."

Lily wrapped her arms around herself, "Can you blame me?"

"Not at all," Simone assured her, "It's no different than how certain things triggered your memories of the assault."

"Any other spell," Lily said to herself, almost begging, "He could use any other spell and I could make do with that. But Avery used it and I want no part of anything that creep does, especially after Severus nearly died from it."

"But it's Snape's spell," Simone reminded her, "And it's his choice to use it or not."

"Lily scowled, "Someone should obliviate that wretched spell out of everyone's mind."

Simone frowned in disapproval, "I wouldn't go that far; doesn't exactly seem fair to trifle with someone's head."

"That's another thing," Lily exclaimed, "He's been practicing Occlumency on muggles."

Simone's frown deepened.

"See?" Lily said triumphantly, "Even you disagree with it."

"It does rub me the wrong way, I'll admit," Simone said softly.

"Now do you see why we fought?" Lily asked.

"Still doesn't mean you didn't royally cross a line, Evans," Simone said.

"Me cross a line?" Lily squawked "He's invading people's heads! You yourself think that's wrong."

"It's complicated," Simone said evasively, walking over to look out the window.

"What's so complicated," Lily persisted, "People's minds are their own business. You can't tell me you disprove of Obliviating and yet be okay with him rummaging around someone's head. You're appalled by it too!"

"That doesn't mean I'm against it, Lily," Simone said sharply, stunning Lily.

Simone heaved a tired sigh, rubbing a hand along her brow. She turned to Thea, her friend giving her an encouraging smile.

"Let's face reality, Evans," Simone said finally, "War is coming. We can pretend all we want that everything's fine, up here in our safe, little school, but the fact of the matter is a war is taking place, right outside our windows. Maybe not on the forefront, maybe not in the public eye, but in some shape and form, people are fighting for right and wrong and it's only a matter of time before we have to join them."

"Sides have been drawn," Simone continued, "And we can tell ourselves all we want that picking the light means all our actions will be heroic and righteous, but war isn't black and white. Decisions will have to be made. Morals…may have to be compromised."

Lily was flabbergasted, "But what Severus is doing is wrong."

"What's he's doing has nothing to do with alignment," Simone shot back, "And everything to do with survival."

She turned to Lily, her eyes remorseful, "War is dirty; people fight dirty, and the only way we're going to make it out alive is by doing whatever it takes to ensure ourselves and our loved ones survive."

"We can't count on the other side to fight fair, Lily," Thea reminded the girl gently.

Simone nodded, "Thea's right. Do you think someone like Bellatrix is going to engage someone in an honorable, rule-abiding duel? Count off and walk a certain distance away with the promise to not attack until it reaches ten? She's ruthless and you know it. She's the type to set an orphanage ablaze with children trapped inside; kill a pregnant woman while her husband watches."

She took a step closer to Lily, "Look me in the eyes and tell me that if it was a choice between your ethics and stopping her flaying a child alive you wouldn't blast Bellatrix's limbs off and leave her rot."

Lily bit her lip, looking away.

"You'd throw your principles away then, wouldn't you?" Simone pressed, "We both know that doing the right thing doesn't always mean doing what's fair or ethical. There may well come a time when you or I will have to do things we never thought we would do, and I'll do it if it keeps those I love safe."

"But we're not like the Death Eaters," Lily reasoned, "We're better than them."

"You're right," Simone agreed, "But not because of what magic we use, but because of who and what we're fighting for. We're fighting to save lives, they're fighting to take lives. It's intent that makes the difference."

Lily nodded, recalling Simone saying something similar during their first confrontation.

"You know how I feel about consent," Simone said quietly, "You know how I feel about taking something so personal from someone without permission. I'll never be okay with the sort of thing Severus is doing but…if I was at risk of losing Thea or my family…I'd stoop as low as I could go if it would save them…even if I hated myself for it. Because I know I'd hate myself more if there was something I could have done but didn't in order to stick to my morals."

Thea wrapped her arms around Simone in comfort.

Lily hugged herself tighter, wishing she had a friend to lean on at that moment as well, "So what now?"

"You apologize to Snape," Simone answered.

Lily sighed, "I know. I plan to, but…it won't make a difference. He's already moved on."

"You don't know that," Simone argued, "Mary's getting clingy, but I don't see them snogging or even holding hands. They're taking things slow like you and Snape were; probably so she doesn't overwhelm him and scare him off."

"Mary might even eventually realize how little she has in common with Severus," Thea added, "She's infatuated with the idea of him right now, not the real him."

"That's all just speculation," Lily said, "You guys don't really know how deep her feelings go."

Simone shrugged, "Perhaps not, but we know how deep yours go. And Severus was happiest with you. He shouldn't use Mary to ease his hurt. Mary deserves someone who loves her just as much as you love Snape, and I doubt he can give her that if he's so hung up on you."

Thea patted Lily's shoulder, "Talk to him, make amends. Severus may be stubborn, but he'd have to be pretty stupid to throw it all away over an argument."

Lily grimaced, "You mean like I almost did."

Thea smiled lopsidedly, "True, but we got you to see sense."

"Simone insulted me until I felt bad," Lily said blandly.

"Whatever works," Simone said dismissively.

"Compose your thoughts," Thea advised, ignoring Simone, "Give Severus some time to cool off. In the meantime, you should take the time to think about what it is you want to say. Tell him what you told us; about your reason for hating that spell. He might be more understanding of why you got so upset if he knows your reason for it."

"She's right," Simone agreed, "Right now he probably thinks you're just falling back on more narrow minded views like you used to have."

Lily nodded, "Okay…I'll give it a shot."

"Don't give up yet," Thea urged, "You and Severus have been through thick and thin and you always come out better for it. Don't let this fight end it all."

Lily was determined to make sure what she and Severus had wasn't over.

She'd fix this no matter what.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So our...'brave' heroes finally decided to ask Myrtle what it was that killed her. Not that she could give much of a description, but hey, at least now they have more reason to suspect Riddle as a shady guy. So far they are still lacking any solid proof that he is connected to the diadem other than that he matches a bit of Helena's description of a former Head Boy, but they DO know he acted mysteriously in Myrtle's death and considering he's their only person of interest during that timeline, hes their focus. 
> 
> (of course we know they're definitely on the right track. Oh the omnipotent power of fandom!)
> 
> Lily it seems has some work to do if she wants to make things right with Severus. we've gotten more to the route of the matter on why she's so adamant against Severus using that spell; she doesn't trust it not to be used to kill him. As for her distrust of reading minds, Lily is still a compassionate person who works on the principal of "treat others how you wish to be treated". She can't see herself doing to someone what she would never want done to herself, a courtesy she'd even extend to people who are bad. She feels stooping to their level would be forgoing kindness and compassion, essentially condoning acts she would never want done on herself. She feels that what separates good from evil is empathy, mercy, and restraint. She has yet to realize that a real fight might require you do unthinkable things to a foe to defend the innocent. 
> 
> Simone and Thea have to deliver some harsh truths about war, something they are more familiar with as Thea's family is so readily allied with the wrong side.
> 
> Leave a comment/review, please!


	60. T.M. Riddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea shows the other a very odd discovery she found in her trunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone!
> 
> Much thanks for the awesome reviews and feedback as always. And as many of you have questioned and pointed out, yes the points where Lily is bringing up Occlumency, she WAS supposed to say Legillimency. That was a mistake on my part. I struggled for so long to spell Occlumency right that I eventually started putting it in even when I meant Legillimency. My bad XD
> 
> So a few of you have voiced some concerns about Mary and Severus's relationship, so let me ease some worries and tell you this: this isn't a relationship right now.
> 
> Severus hasn't agreed to date Mary. He's hurt and depressed and Mary has been spending time with him and honestly, he is mainly enjoying her company at the moment because she is expressing the understanding he hopes to finally get from Lily. He hasn't commented on the kiss, nor has he consented to another. Right now he is merely distancing himself from Lily and Mary is capitalizing on his newfound separation from Lily.
> 
> That isn't to say Mary is trying to steal him away. As far as she knows, Sev and Lily are just friends. But they're friends who are ALWAYS together. Mary sees the recent argument as a chance to spend time with Severus one on one and try to win him over. She's knows he isn't sure at the moment so she hopes to change his mind. She's aware right now that Severus doesn't know quite how he feels about her; the kiss was her way of just giving him a heads up that she is interested and wants him to consider whether it is something that could develop between them.
> 
> So Severus isn't leading her on. He's more confused than anything. He honestly is questioning if he and Lily should be together if they can't get through hurdles like these. Dark Arts are a part of him whether she likes it or not, and he can't see a relationship working if Lily doesn't try better to understand him. He isn't dating Mary and none of what they are doing is dates in his eyes. They're studying like usual, but more often just the too of them and with a bit more affection from Mary as she hopes to get him used to the idea of seeing her in a romantic light. Since Severus has no idea if Lily even wants to be with him now that she knows what he was doing with his spells, he doesn't see a point in telling Mary he may be unavailable due to a relationship that may be now nonexistent.
> 
> Hope that makes a feel people feel a little better. Now on with the show!

* * *

At a secluded table at the back of an empty classroom, away from prying eyes and ears, several teens were gathered. Being the middle of a Wednesday afternoon, there was little chance of them being discovered, Ravenclaws off in the library getting head starts on homework, the majority of students were at lunch or playing in the snow during free period. The rest remained trapped within busy classrooms, the unlucky ones trying to will themselves to stay awake through Binns' monotonous sermons.

For a select group comprised of three Slytherins, two Gryffindors, a Ravenclaw, and a Hufflepuff, there was no frolicking in the white powder outside, no head starts on recently assigned classwork, nor class time naps. For them, all focus rested on a simple item, sitting innocuously on the table they gathered around.

A book.

An old, musty smelling book complete with faded leather cover and yellowing pages. Bronze embellishments at the corners had rusted over and the leather was cracked and dried out as if left in the sun too long. Clearly, someone had taken good care of it and old age simply took its toll, as despite the wear and tear on the cover, the overall pages seemed to be in relatively good condition, yellow but not stiff or crumbling like one would expect.

Overall, it seemed like an innocent, unassuming journal lacking in suspicion.

At least it would have if not for the name printed neatly in faded ink Thea found written on the very first page earlier that day.

_T.M. Riddle._

"You're powers of serendipity is starting to stretch my suspension of disbelief past normal levels, Thea," Severus stated sardonically.

Thea raised her hands helplessly, "This one isn't on me. My powers lead me to things; they don't just appear in my trunk among my school books!"

Simone nodded, "I've witnessed quite a bit of her discoveries; she inadvertently goes to them, they don't come to her."

"Well then this is a damn interesting coincidence, don't you think?" Severus drawled, causing Simone to bristle at his tone.

Lily stepped between Severus and Simone, "Let's just back up a bit. Thea, could you please tell us how you found it again?"

Thea sighed, "It's like I said: I filled up my notebook for Divination and needed a new one. I bought blank ones before the start of term and went to get one from my trunk. And that," she pointed at the book on the table, "Was tucked in between the top two notebooks in the pile."

"You don't recall buying it with your other supplies?" Nesme suggested.

Thea shook her head, "No, all my things are new; this looks ages old."

Severus inspected the inside of the cover, running his finger over a label at the top.

"Winstanley's Bookstore & Stationers," he read aloud, "That's a muggle store in London, I think. You're father shops there sometimes, doesn't he Lily?"

Lily nodded, "I think so."

"Never heard of it," Thea explained, "I definitely didn't buy this book."

"It looks like a journal," Davis stated, picking the book up. He thumbed through it, "It doesn't seem to have seen much use though; there's nothing written in it."

"Seems a waste," Mary observed, "It's like…fifty years old? Yet the inside's still in such good condition. Why go to the trouble of preserving it if he wasn't going to use it?"

"Beats me," Davis said, continuing to give the diary a look over. A frown crossed his face, prompting him to close the book. Flipping it over in his hands a few times, he frowned down at the book in befuddlement.

"What's wrong, Davis?" Simone asked.

Davis shrugged, "I just…I get this eerie feeling from it."

"You did with the diadem too," Severus recalled, "Give it here."

Davis dropped the book into Severus's outstretched hand, allowing the Slytherin to examine it closely.

"It didn't feel the same as the diadem," Davis elaborated for everyone else, "But something felt a little off about it. The diadem felt wrong…like something awful was going on in it. This just feels…I don't know how to explain it," he shrugged again, "Call it a sort of intuition, but it gives off this vibe like there's more to it than it seems."

"I didn't get that feeling at all," Thea said, confused, "Sure, I was baffled by why I had Riddle's diary of all things, but it seemed exactly that; just a diary."

"I'm not getting a read on it either," Severus announced, setting the book back down, "Are you sure you didn't just imagine it? We've all hyped ourselves up about the mystery of this Riddle fellow."

"I don't think so," Davis replied, "My mom's an empath, so we have a pretty good sense for these things."

"News to me," Severus mumbled, "Not that I doubt your suspicions, though. So far we haven't learned anything too positive or trustworthy about Mr. Riddle, this thing very well could be cursed in some way."

"We've learned he took credit for solving a murder he didn't actually solve and may have in fact caused," Simone tacked off on his fingers, "Dumbledore clearly doubts his account of the so called evidence he provided to accuse Hagrid. There's also the fact that he was a prefect and Head Boy, which Helena said were titles the one who tricked her once held in this school. And the timeline of when he attended school and graduated lines up with when Helena first encounter the guy who asked about the diadem."

"I'm having trouble keeping track of all this," Nesme said, "Did Helena say the guy she spoke to  _was_  a Ravenclaw? Or that he could have been from any House  _except_  Ravenclaw?" Flipping open to a random page in the diary, Nesme procured a quill and dipped it in ink, preparing to write.

"Are you mad?!" Severus exclaimed, grabbing hold of Nesme's hand before the quill could touch the paper, causing a glob of ink to splash down on the open diary.

"What? I was going to make note of what we know so far," Nesme asked with genuine surprised. She looked down at the ink blot, "You're making a mess."

"Do you have any idea how foolish it is to tamper with something we know nothing about?" Severus asked angrily, "Something that was owned by a person who could very well be dangerous? If he is the one who killed Myrtle, do you really want to poke around in his things?"

Nesme rolled her eyes, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe up the ink, "It's a blank book, he didn't even bother to write in it. How dangerous could it be?" She laughed at Severus's paranoia, making the dark haired boy scowl.

Turning back to the diary, Nesme's smile faded away to confusion, "Where'd the ink stain go?"

Everyone looked down at the diary. Where once sat an ugly blot of ink blemishes its pages, the paper was now pristine and untouched, though just as old and dated as ever.

"Disappearing ink?" Mary suggested.

"More like disappearing paper," Davis muttered. He flipped the pages to make sure the stained one wasn't somewhere else, "It just got sucked in."

Curious, Severus plucked the quill from Nesme's fingers. Dipping it in the inkwell, he lifted the quill up without shaking off any excess ink.

Everyone watched with baited breath as he hovered the quill over the unmarked pages and waited. Carefully, Severus lightly shook the quill and dripped a spot of ink onto the diary. Then he waited.

Right before everyone's eyes, the ink began to disappear into the pages as though it had never been there at all.

"I think you're on to something, Davis," Severus said.

He dipped some more ink onto the paper to find the results were the same.

"It just vanishes," Lily said in amazement, "Do you think it is a prank diary? Maybe he wanted to trick people into writing things in it only for it to disappear."

Severus shook his head, "Mr. Tom doesn't strike me as much of a prankster."

"Maybe he wanted to keep his own secrets hidden," Simone theorized, "Perhaps a charm can bring what is written back up to the surface."

"That is a possibility," Severus agreed, dripping another glob of ink onto the diary.

The ink got sucked into the pages again, but this time a surprising response bubbled up in it's place.

Everyone watched in amazement as words seeped to the surface where the inkblot once was.

' _Would you kindly stop dripping on me?'_  Was the simple request.

Severus dropped the quill in shock, taking a big step back.

"Okay, the diary is talking," Simone stated, "Does anyone else think that is a little questionable?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure objects aren't supposed to talk to you," Davis agreed, "At least not with actual thought of their own. I've seen a teapot screaming German at people, but only a set list of phrases. This seems…aware somehow."

"This is against my better judgement but," Severus dipped the quill in ink once more.

'To whom am I speaking?' he wrote. He watched as the words sunk into the paper.

"Sev!" Lily hissed, "Don't talk to it!"

Again, a response appeared,  _'I am Tom Marvolo Riddle.'_

"He's…in the diary?" Nesme asked hesitantly.

"That's not how magic works," Simone assured her. She tapped Severus on the shoulder, "Ask it something else."

"We shouldn't be asking it anything," Thea pointed out, "Who knows what this thing is."

"We need to know if we can trust it," Severus said sternly.

"How?" Mary asked, "I doubt it will tell us if it was lying."

"Ah, but it doesn't know what we know," Severus said, "I have an idea."

Redipping the quill, Severus quickly scribbled out his question.

'Do you know about the murder of 1943.'

The answer came straight away.

' _Yes,'_  said the diary.

'How did the student die?' Severus wrote.

' _A creature killed her,'_  the diary replied.

Severus dipped his quill again, 'What kind of creature?'

The reply was quick,  _'An Acromantula. A student was hiding it in the school.'_

"Now we get down to the heart of the matter," Severus told his friends. He wrote out his next question, 'How do you know that's what killed the student?'

This time it took the diary a moment to respond.

' _I witnessed it,'_  the diary said finally,  _'I saw the creature fleeing the place the body was found.'_

Severus shut the diary.

"It's lying," he declared, "Hagrid said the causalities leading up to the death that year were all victims of petrification. Acromantula venom can't do that."

"Plus Hagrid kept Aragog in a box locked away in the dungeons," Lily added, "There's no way it could have gotten loose."

"Even if it did, there is no way it would have gotten to that bathroom and back so quickly," Severus pointed out. There were other factors to consider as well, "Hagrid said Riddle didn't confront him until that evening, but the body was found in the afternoon, Olive Hornby being the first to see Myrtle's body. If Riddle had found Myrtle first, why wait all that time to act? And why not go to the authorities first?"

Simone scoffed, glaring at the diary, "Does this thing actually expect us to believe that a student saw a spider the size of a dog running through the school and didn't hex it on the spot."

"Tom knew more than he is letting on," Severus stated, tapping the diary, "Whatever happened that day, his actions alone indicate he used whatever info he had to his advantage. I'm personally more inclined to believe Hagrid's innocent and Dumbledore thought so too; he vouched for Hagrid when he was expelled."

"Even if Riddle didn't kill Myrtle, why lie?" Thea asked, "Aragog wasn't the creature Myrtle saw in the bathroom, meaning even as an innocent in all this, Riddle never would have seen Aragog leaving the girl's room. So why lie and say he did?"

"All I know is this," Simone said with finality, "However Riddle made this thing and whatever he made it for, it can't be good. This diary can't be trusted. I think it's best we stop talking to it."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Severus said, pushing the diary away from him.

Thea picked the diary up gingerly. She carefully wrapped it up in a handkerchief and with a quick spell, transfigured the cloth into a thin, wooden case, "I'll keep it safe for now. If I was meant to come across this thing, then that must mean it's up to me to hide it."

"I'm still unsure how it wound up in your things, Thea," Lily said curiously, "It's sort of strange that you had it."

Thea shrugged, "It definitely is weird. I mean, I haven't really touched my school trunk since I first got home for Christmas. My house elves clean it out for me."

"Maybe we should ask one of them," Severus suggested, "Which one cleans your things?"

"That would be Heeby," Thea began, but before she could finish her sentence, a tired looking house elf popped into the room.

"Mistress Thea be needing Heeby for something?" the house elf asked eagerly.

"I think she's missing you already," Simone muttered.

Thea smiled kindly down at the house elf.

"Heeby," she said, taking the house elf's hand in her own, "Do you know where that diary came from? You put it in my trunk and I don't recognize it."

"Heeby found it in your cloak, Mistress," Heeby replied, "It was empty so Heeby thought it was a journal for notes. Did Heeby make a mistake?" the last part was asked in worry.

Thea was quick to assuage Heeby's fears, "No Heeby. You did fine; I quite like having an extra notebook. I'm just curious…what cloak did you find it in?"

"Your formal cloak, of course," Heeby said, "The one with the raven feathers around the collar. A grand cloak that one is, Mistress. The diary was in the pocket."

The color drained from Thea's face, but she put on a smile anyway, "Thank you, Heeby. That will be all."

Heeby curtseyed low and vanished.

"Thea," Simone prodded, looking at her friend with concern, "What's wrong?"

"That's the cloak I wore to the Malfoys," Thea said softly, as if talking to herself. She turned to the others, "I haven't worn it since that night. I was just so disgusted I wanted nothing to do with anything related to it. I threw the cloak on the floor as soon as I got home."

"If it came from Malfoy's, that confirms this diary is no good," Severus said.

"How could something from the Malfoy's house get in your cloak, Thea?" Mary asked.

"Lucius!" Thea gasped, "I came across a room that was supposed to be hidden—serendipity, you know—and it seemed very important that no one find the place. The little house elf guarding it was quite cross with me. He re-hid it, but Lucius just seemed to know I had seen it. He opened the room up and everything. Then he personally escorted me out to my parents. He wouldn't let the House Elf take me to them."

"If he was supposed to be hiding it, why would he give it to you?" Davis questioned.

Thea was at a loss, "I don't know, but it all makes sense. Why else would he show me there was a room there when he had no proof I actually knew about it?"

"It's a trap," Severus stated, "Whatever this thing does, clearly Malfoy intends it to cause you or others harm."

"What was Malfoy doing with it in the first place?" Simone inquired.

"Whatever the reason it can't be good," Lily said, shuddering, "That whole family gives me the creeps. So heartless and arrogant. And Lucius is the worst. I remember him from my first few years in school; so pompous, like Salazar himself ordained his birth."

"Safe to say we should never use that book again," Davis said adamantly, "If anything, we may want to add it to the 'destroy' list."

"Agreed," Simone confirmed, "Thea, keep that thing safe."

Thea nodded, "You can count on me."

"Now, we better get out of here before the next class comes in," Simone addressed the group, "Don't want to be caught sneaking around."

"Last thing we need is to be accused of plotting something," Davis agreed.

Severus snorted, "What could they possible think we'd all be doing alone in a classroom together? Having an orgy?"

Lily giggled and Simone waggled her eyebrows.

"Hey, Sev," Mary cut in, making the smile drop from Lily's face, "If we're done here, I was wondering if you'd like to study together," she twirled a piece of hair around her finger, "Just the two of us?"

"Studying," Severus repeated, considering the idea. He nearly looked in Lily's direction, but changed course at the last minute, staring out the window, "I guess that would be fine."

Mary beamed, "Great," she linked arms with Severus, as had become a common practice for her and together they left.

Lily watched the two depart forlornly.

Casting a concerned glance in Lily's direction, Simone ushered Nesme and Davis out the door with Thea, leaving her and the redhead alone.

"I take it you haven't patched things up, yet?" Simone queried.

Lily sighed, shaking her head, "I know I said I would apologize, but it hardly seems like it would be enough. I said some pretty awful things. I have no idea how to fix it."

"You once thought being called the M word was unforgivable," Simone reminded her, "And yet you managed to forgive Snape."

"An abstract slur isn't the same as being compared to the man who beat you!" Lily exclaimed, "You didn't see how hurt he was. The look he gave me, he looked so betrayed. I'm the one person who is supposed to see the good in him and then I go and say the worst thing imaginable."

"That doesn't mean you can't fix things," Simone stated firmly, "And you might want to get on that at some point, before you lose him to Mary."

Lily scoffed, "It looks like I lost him already. Did you see how she clung to him?"

Simone shrugged, "They're not official yet; things are casual right now. I'm sure Mary wants to be his girlfriend, but right now she's playing it safe to not scare him off. There's still time to make your intentions known and win him over."

"But I could never do that to Mary," Lily bemoaned, "She's been through so much and she trusts me."

"You've been through a lot too," Simone interjected, "And our experiences don't mean we are entitled to get what we want. You don't owe her the love of your life because of what she's been through. Mary's a big girl; I'm sure she can get over any infatuation she has over him."

"But what if she really loves him?" Lily fretted.

Simone snorted, "We've been over this; she hardly knows him. Sure, she's warmed up to him and seen his better side, but she's still mostly in the dark about his life or who he is. She's romanticizing the tall, dark, and mysterious aspect of him."

"If you're so sure them being together is a mistake why haven't you spoken to him?" Lily asked.

Simone shrugged again, "Honestly, I've meddle enough with your lives at this point. It's time for the two of you to work things out on your own; you're big kids now. The only reason I'm giving you advice is because you clearly want it. I have no idea what Severus wants, whether it's you, or Mary, or if he just wants to be mad for a little while—which given what you said is technically his right," she reminded Lily.

"You had no problem telling me how to feel after the last fight Sev and I had," Lily grumbled.

Simone shook her head, "I never told you have to feel; I simply pointed out that you were using that argument as a scape goat to end a friendship that was plagued by other underlying problems. You weren't trying to see his side of things to look for a deeper reason for Snape's actions. Hell, you yourself have pretty much admitted that it wasn't what was said that bothered you so much as what was unsaid. Also, on your end it was pretty obvious you planned on staying severed forever out of stubbornness; I highly doubt Severus is going to manage a grudge against you for long."

"You think so?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Definitely," Simone assured, "Maybe you two don't end up together. Who knows? What I do know is that you've been his candle in the dark for so long he's never going to throw away your friendship. You'll probably always be someone special to him in some way."

Lily sighed mournfully, "I'm not sure I could continue being friends with him if it meant watching him be happy with someone else."

Simone placed a hand on Lily's shoulder, "Then pursue him. Love is subjective and complicated. If you give up without even trying, you're going to spend your whole life wondering what could have been. Is that really something you want hanging over your head?"

Lily snorted, halfhearted, "You sound like you're talking from experience. Have you ever been in love?"

"I suppose I am familiar with it," Simone replied vaguely, "Perhaps been swept away by it a time or two."

Lily couldn't help but notice Simone staring at a moonstone bracelet on her wrist, one Lily hadn't ever seen before.

Simone continued, unaware of Lily's quandary over the jewelry, "If my dabbling in love will give my words more credence so be it. Take my words to heart: never knowing if you could have had love is far more painful than loving and losing. 'What if?' is a truly agonizing question."

"So overall, you're saying I have to solve this on my own and pray to whatever's listening that this doesn't end with my heart getting stomped on," Lily quipped.

Simone grinned, "That's love. And you better get a move on quick. MacDonald's beating you right now, and she started without even having an inkling of whether or not Snape even felt the same way. You at least knew Snape shared mutual feelings with you, so what's the holdup? Own up to your mistake, explain the real reasons you're upset, and pick up the pieces. Maybe there's still a chance to fix things between you two."

"But you won't know until you try," she added knowingly.

"Going to be a little hard with how things are right now," Lily pointed out, "He's still very peeved at me."

Simone waved the concern away, "Like I said last time, he needs to cool down a bit first. Give him a week or so to stew in his bad mood, get a good sulk going on. Once he gets it out of his system, he'll start to miss you and realize what a constant you are in his life. In the meantime, maybe try and play some gentle interference."

Lily raised a brow, "What do you mean?"

Simone raised her hands, "I'm not saying sabotage Mary or anything. I like her enough to not want to screw with her life. But she's still feeling out the whole crush thing with Snape; testing the waters and seeing if he can reciprocate. So…play the third wheel. Come up with excuses to be around them. Hell, invite the others. Study groups, big get togethers, ask Mary to spend girl time with you. The more time she spends in the company of others, the less time spent alone with Snape. That will also keep him from doing something stupid like feel pressured to date Mary as a rebound."

Lily nodded, considering the plan carefully, "So…give Sev space and attention to Mary. Then apologize when Sev's less mad and start slow all over again," she scrubbed a hand over her face, "It'll be hard to go back to 'just friends' with him, but if that's what it takes, I'll do it."

"Atta girl!" Simone cheered, slapping Lily on the back, "I've got to say it's weird to see you chasing after him for a change."

Lily looked at Simone in puzzlement, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Simone shrugged, "Just, you know, he's been hounding after you for years. This is an interesting change."

Lily blinked, "He has?"

"Of course," Simone said. She looked at Lily, realization spreading across her face.

"Oh dear, sweet Merlin," she cried, "You honestly had no idea? Evans, his feelings for you aren't a recent development. It's been going on for years!"

Lily blanched, "Years…But, surely I would have noticed."

"How  _didn't_  you notice?" Simone asked with a cackle, "He's spent every year since he's known you, following you around, hanging on your every word. He gets defensive every time someone new comes into your life and steals your attention."

"Well we were best friends," Lily explained feebly.

Simone snorted, " _Please_. Do you honestly think Snape would have shared his potions notes with a friend? His heavily guarded techniques. No, you sweetie, were special to him. Very special. Everyone could see it."

"Everyone?" Lily gawked, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Simone sneered, "Because your pesky little friends in Gryffindor didn't want you returning those feelings. That and I'm sure they had a good laugh watching Snape chase after someone who they thought was too good for him."

"I'm not too good for him," Lily protested, highly offended, "Sev is plenty good enough for me. More than, in fact. Better than a dunderhead Quidditch player or hoity toity rich snob. But wait, if everyone knew, why is Mary pursuing him? Surely she knows he has feelings for me."

"But she also thinks you don't have feelings for him," Simone explained, "Plus, she knows the two of you are on the outs at the moment. She probably thinks Snape will start to get over you if he realizes there are other fish in the sea and that one is ready and waiting to be caught."

Lily frowned, "Well that's not going to happen."

Simone patted Lily on the arm as she gathered her stuff.

"See to it that it doesn't," Simone said, leaving Lily to plan her next move.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Lily is this dense! Lol at least to me canon Lily was dense. Seriously, she never knew James continued to bully Snape during their final year at Hogwarts? She honestly couldn't see that tormenting someone "because he exists" is no different than purebloods hexing muggleborns? Canon Lily could be a bit of an oblivious twat. You heard me: Twat, I didn't mean twit. XD
> 
> So people have been pretty torn on Simone's opinion of Mary's feelings and that's good. Do not take everything Simone says as gospel. Regardless of what turns out to be true or not true, Simone is still a teenager giving advice on a subject she herself has limited experience in. Even if she was experienced, her own dalliances in love do not make her keen to the feelings of others, no matter how observant she thinks she is. She mainly encouraging Lily to act so that everyone's feelings can be out in the open so that the three of them (Sev, Lily, and Mary) can clear things up and figure stuff out. She honestly has NO IDEA what exactly Mary feels or why. She just wants Lily to stop sitting around and DO SOMETHING instead of playing the 'if only' and 'what if' cards of uncertainty.
> 
> Welp, now our friends have spoken to Mr. Riddle and unlike little ginger girls they are smart enough to know you can't trust talking diaries with a mind of their own.
> 
> So our heroes know better than to keep talking to this thing, but don't think that's the end of it! Diaries are tricky and teenagers can be stupid! What horrors does this little diary hold?...scratch that, we all know what's in the chamber, blah, blah, blah.
> 
> Ahem.
> 
> What lengths will the diary go to have it's horrors unfold?!
> 
> Review lovelies :)


	61. Careful What You Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily makes some shocking discoveries and James would like a great deal less of his friends's skepticism, thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah! I've returned!
> 
> Thanks again for all the reviews and feedback. You guys are the best!
> 
> Not much to say leading up to this chapter, though I do appreciate those of you continuing to share your viewpoints on Severus's actions as an adult and how that compares to some of the other Hogwarts' staff's own poor treatment of students. 
> 
> Without further ado...the chapter.

* * *

"I'm telling you guys, the plan is working," James insisted one chilly but sunny afternoon by the lake.

Peter shivered and snuggled deeper into his winter robe, grateful for the thick sweater his mum knitted him for Christmas. He cast an unsure glance James's way.

"I don't know, Prongs," he said, "I haven't exactly seen Evans falling for you."

"I'm telling you, the night I said I wanted a romantic flower to give to Jess, Evans was green with envy," James said, "She looked like she was going to be sick."

"She could have just been sick of the dramatic lovey dovey display you and Jess are putting on," Sirius mused with a laugh, "The whole school's sick of it."

James smacked Sirius playfully and shook his head, "No, she looked sad. Like…like she wanted someone to treat her just as romantically. She's definitely starting to notice all I have to offer."

Sirius leaned against the trunk of the tree, stretching, "Either way, there's at least one good development. Haven't seen Evans and Snivellus spending much time together."

James grinned wickedly, "Seems Evans has finally gotten realized how worthless he is. I knew he couldn't compare to me. He certainly wouldn't court her like a gentleman with flowers and jewelry. He can't even afford it!"

"He used to not even be able to afford clean underwear," Sirius said with a snicker, "Wish I knew who had taken him in to buy him better clothes; I'd warn them not to waste their money."

"Probably got placed with some Slytherin family full of dark wizards," James groused, "Sneaky and underhanded, the whole lot of them."

Peter resisted rolling his eyes, 'Pot calling kettle; you're black,' he thought, thinking of James's ploy with Jess. Speaking of which…

"And if you do win Lily over," Peter questioned, "Then what? You'll just drop Jess like a bag of Doxy dung? Seems a little cold, don't you think?"

James scoffed, "She's a wealthy Pureblood; there's guys coming out of the woodwork for her, just waiting for a chance to win her hand. I doubt she'll care much to cut me loose."

"But you've spent so much time with her, telling her she means something to you," Peter persisted, "Don't you care for her at all?"

James looked contemplatively out over the frozen lake where Jess and her friends glided around on transfigured skates.

"I'm fond of her," James admitted, "It's nice to have someone so attentive and interested in everything I have to say. Someone who's loyal, laughs at my jokes."

Sirius snorted, "Oh what am I, chopped liver? I do all that!"

James threw a handful of slush at him, "I can't snog you! Anyway, Jess is nice. She's pretty, she's relatively smart, and she's fun. She's…easy."

"Send her my way, then," Sirius suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

"Not like that," James said with amused exasperation, "I mean she's easy to get along with. Easy to woo, easy to sway. Lily though…Lily challenges me. Everything interaction with her is like…a dance. I move a pace forward, she takes two steps back, we circle around each other like partners in a ballroom."

"Hate to break it to you, but you're dancing alone," Sirius said with false sympathy, "Evans isn't stepping with you, she's  _side stepping_  you."

"Hush up," James said dismissively, "The point is she's exciting. She isn't like other girls; she doesn't give in easily."

"Meaning you want her simply because she says no," Peter theorized. It was his turn to be hit by a ball of slush, making him shuddered as it seeped down the back of his robe.

"That's not why!" James denied with a scowl, "She…she makes me think. Makes me work harder…and stuff. I want to be a better person for her. Catch the bad guys, make a name for myself, really impress her."

"Face it, Prongs," Sirius said, "You're really big on winning and it kills you when things don't go your way. You never had an eye for Evans until she hit puberty and even then it wasn't her eyes you were so entranced by," he turned to Peter, "His gaze was a little more south."

Peter chortled, muffling it in his hands.

"Then Evans turned you down for a snog and suddenly you had a whole new dilemma on your hands: someone said no to you," Sirius laughed, "You took it as a personal affront to your pride and have been harping on it ever since."

James pouted, "That's not why I like her. She's smart, and kind, and outgoing…a-and fierce, and—"

"And gorgeous, and curvy, and popular, and she turned your down," Sirius reiterated smugly.

James flicked his wand, causing a slew of snow to fall from a branch over Sirius, coating him in powder.

Peter giggled uncontrollably.

"You guys are just jealous you don't have girls chasing after you," James said petulantly.

Sirius laughed, "Ha! Now that's a laugh. I have girls coming to me by the hour; got a new one on my arm any day of the week. And I'll have you know Peter here," he pointed at their twitchy friend, "has been spending an awful lot of time with Mckinnon lately."

James directed his attention to his stouter friend, a grin on his face, "Really?"

Peter flushed, looking away, "It's not what you're thinking. We're working together on a Charms assignment. We're both rubbish at it; her in pronunciation, me in wand movements. Marlene figured combing what we're actually  _good_  at could help each other fix what we're bad at. That's all."

"Which is why the two of you hang out alone every evening," Sirius said with a grin, voice dripping in skepticism.

"She's sat with you for breakfast a lot lately too, hasn't she?" James asked, smiling, "Pretty sure I've seen her on your right these past few mornings at the table."

Peter blushed deeper, sinking into his robe, "We're just going over notes, okay?"

"Besides," he added, "It's not like she'd be interested in me anyway. She's really popular; she could have anyone."

"She's had everyone," Sirius said with a boisterous guffaw, "Almost everyone, anyway. Girl really gets around, if you know what I mean." He made a lewd gesture at James, prompting the other boy to laugh.

Peter's cheeks glowed red, but by the fierce glare he directed at Sirius it was clear it wasn't caused by bashfulness, "She's not like that."

Sirius waved him off, "Calm down, Wormtail. I'm only stating facts. More people have rode her than the school broomsticks."

"Everyone knows that's an over exaggeration," Peter said angrily, "She been with a lot less people than you think, so shut it."

"What?" Sirius asked in confusion, a hint of annoyance creeping into his tone, "It's a good thing isn't it? It means you actually could have a chance with her."

"That's not why I'm friends with her," Peter growled, "And I would appreciate if you stop insinuating that's all she's good for."

"Why are you getting all up in arms about this?" Sirius asked, irritated, "She's a slag."

"Oh, but what you do is any better?" Peter snapped, rising to his feet suddenly, "A guy sleeps around and it's all 'congratulations' and pats on the back, but a girl does it and she's not worthy of any respect."

"Calm down, Peter," James tried to pacify him.

"No," Peter shouted, waving a furious finger at Sirius, "He leaves a trail of broken hearts and yet he still clearly thinks himself a good person. Well from what I understand, Marlene is at least upfront with her intentions to the boys she sees, so why is she somehow a worst person than he is?"

He glared back and forth between his two friends, "She isn't leading anyone on. There's nothing wrong with her being herself."

Gathering up his things, Peter beat a hasty retreat back up to the castle, passing Remus without a word.

Sirius and James stared blankly at each other.

"What was that?" James asked eventually.

Sirius shook his head, "Did he just…stand up for himself? When'd he start doing that?"

James shrugged, utterly bewildered.

"Hey guys," Remus greeted when he reached them, "What's gotten into Peter? He almost ran me down back there."

"It seems Padfoot struck a nerve," James surmised, "He told Sirius off."

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, not particularly happy about it, "I was just messing around. He didn't have to get all defensive over it."

"You did sort of call his friend a whore," James pointed out.

Remus's eyebrows shot into his hairline, "You did what?"

Sirius scowled, "Don't give me that look."

"Is this about Marlene?" Remus asked. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Listen, I get there's some rumors out there about her, but I had hoped you at least would have the good sense not to believe them, Sirius!"

"They're not all rumors though," Sirius defended, "Some of them are true. Ask any of the guys on our Quidditch team. She's the community chest!"

"What she does is her business;" Remus said sternly, "The point is Peter considers her a friend, a good one. This is the first person he's been close to outside of us in…forever," he thwacked Sirius with his notebook, "The least you could do is not make fun of her in his presence."

"But of all the people he could spend time with, it had to be her?" Sirius bemoaned, "She'll ruin his reputation just like she ruined her own. I'm just looking out for the guy."

"No, you're just peeved he has other people to hang out with instead of spending all his time mooning over you two,' Remus remarked, "Be honest, you miss him worshipping the ground you walk on."

Sirius pouted, "That's not true."

Remus sighed, "Yes it is. The only reason you tolerate James having a girlfriend is because he brings you to almost all their dates. If I suddenly had a girl on my arm and started spending less time with you, you'd throw a fit over that as well."

Sirius sat up with a start, a look of alarm falling across his face, "You have your eye on somebody?"

Remus shrugged, "Not currently, but I might someday. Last thing I need is you in a snit because I had someone else to enjoy the company of."

Sirius relaxed a bit, settling back into the snow, though neither of his friends seemed to notice, "Good…good. You're too young to date."

Remus snorted, "Like you're one to talk. Why does it matter to you if the rumors are true about Marlene anyway? You aren't exactly the model of chastity yourself, you know."

Sirius scoffed, "That's different; men are supposed to play the field. Sow their wild oats, as the saying goes. It's all to get it out of our system before we settle down and have to stay faithful."

"Meanwhile, women should always stay chaste and true and don't get a chance to work out their own tensions or desires," Remus surmised for Sirius, unimpressed.

James scratched his head, "You know when you put it that way, it does sort of sound like one of those 'double standards' some of the girls keep ranting about."

"Those girls are feminists," Remus pointed out, "And they have a point. It doesn't exactly seem fair that boys are encouraged to snog and grope while girls who do it get viewed as immoral or less wholesome. Hell, the boys in our dorm seem to praise each other for getting handsy with a girl, while condemning the girl as loose in the same breath."

"But it's different for guys," Sirius defended, "We're hot blooded, passionate animals. We need to vent our hormonal frustrations or all chaos will break out."

"Somehow I don't think missing a good wank will cause the world to end, Siri," Remus said sarcastically.

James let out a laugh before calming himself, "Seriously though, it is different for men, Moony. Girls don't even like sex as much as guys do. It's a well-known fact."

"From whom," Remus challenged, "The older boys in the Quidditch locker room?"

James shrugged, "Well…yeah. I mean, guys are supposed to like sex, it's instinct you know, to have as many heirs as possible. But girls, what they want is romance; sex is secondary."

"The fact that you actually believe this is frightening," Remus moaned, rubbing at his brow.

"As if you understand women better," James said, sticking out his tongue.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "Me and Prongs at least have experience with the fairer sex. I think we'd know better than you what it is girls want."

Remus sighed, standing up, "Whatever. Clearly, I'm not going to get a more intelligent conversation out of you two 'lady killers'. I might as well head back in and see where Peter went off to."

"Try not to catch a cold," he added before heading on his way.

James smirked, "Well you're two for two today, Padfoot," he mocked, "You managed to piss off both our friends."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Peter's just got his briefs in a bunch. He'll come around soon. And Remus is just being mister goody-goody like always."

"Still, weird he got so ticked at how you talk about women," James mused.

Sirius scoffed, "Maybe he's jealous."

Sirius paused, mulling over that last thought. He turned to James, a gleam in his eyes.

"Do you think he's jealous?" he asked curiously.

James shrugged, "How would I know. What's it matter to you anyway?"

"It doesn't," Sirius said quickly, turning away.

 

{page break}

 

Slughorn positively beamed as he guided Lily into his office.

"Oh course you can look at my albums," he declared happily, "You know I love showing off my most accomplished students."

"Thank you, Professor Slughorn," Lily said graciously, "I've heard a great many things about your previous Slug Clubs, but I never had the nerve to ask after them before."

Slughorn laughed, "No need to be shy, my girl. I am more than happy to share with you."

He picked a heavy album off the shelf, a large glossy book with golden filigree across the cover and bindings.

"Some of the Wizarding World's finest movers and shakers have undergone my fine tutelage," he informed Lily with pride, "I imagine someday, I'll be showing off your picture to students, saying 'I knew the esteemed Miss Evans when she was but a child!' I bet my life on it."

"You're too kind, Professor," Lily said, feigning flattered.

"Now let's see," Slughorn licked his thumb and opened the book, flipping through the pages, "You of course know Lucius Malfoy; he's not that much older than you. Fine man, that one. I hear he's up for a position in the Ministry."

"You don't say?" Lily replied, unable to keep the displeasure out of her voice.

"Oh yes," Slughorn nodded obliviously, "There's Narcissa Black—Malfoy now, I believe. Lovely girl, charming really."

He flicked through some pages, "Hm, you know all of these students. Let's go farther back. Did you know I taught the famed biographer Eldred Worple? His work with vampires is groundbreaking."

Lily nodded, showing well-performed interest and astonishment, "That's incredible, professor. You know so many famous people."

Slughorn preened under the praise, "Indeed I did. And not to boast, but they never would have gotten anywhere if not for me. I taught them everything I know; got them all the right connections. It's no wonder so many of them still send me gifts to this day."

"What an enviable life," Lily gushed, laying on the charm. It seemed to be working, as Slughorn became more and more enamored with remembering the past, flashing through dozens of photographs of prior years running the Slug Club.

Lily paused on one picture, noting the date scrawled at the bottom, "Who are these people, professor?"

"Hm?" Slughorn shook himself from his reminiscing. He looked down at the picture Lily had her finger on, "Oh, that was my Slug Club from…1942 I think. Promising lot those boys. There was Nott, clever boy. Over here was have Lestrange; poor man, I hear he passed recently. Left two sons. You may remember them, Rodolphus and Rabastan?"

"I think I may have had the pleasure of meeting them once or twice," Lily said sourly.

Slughorn was ignorant of her disdain, "Then we have…well that there is Avery…I'm afraid you have met his son Calix…" he sighed, "Where does a boy go so wrong?"

"Beats me, professor," Lily said flatly. She studied Avery Senior's face, noting his eyes strikingly similar to his son's; cold and vain.

"There's Rowle," Slughorn carried on, hoping to ease the tension, "Over here is Royce Ferguson, he manages Dragons in Romania currently."

"What about him?" Lily pointed to a rather young man seated to the left of Lestrange in the picture. He was a handsome lad, with dark hair and piercing eyes, but the eerie thing about him was his smile. It was eerie, empty. Still he was a looker. If this was the boy who tricked Helena Ravenclaw's spirit, it was no wonder she fell for his charms.

Slughorn faltered, "That…that's Tom Riddle. Good lad…I suppose. Studious, always polite. He became a prefect the following year if I recall."

"Is he the one who's name is on that award in the trophy case?" Lily asked innocently.

"Oh, you noticed that?" Slughorn asked wearily, staring down at the picture, "Yes, I suppose he was rewarded for services to the school. He was…fond of Hogwarts."

"What was he rewarded for?" Lily inquired.

Slughorn looked away, studying a distance spot on the wall, "Well he helped prevent a great disaster, I suppose. We had trouble with a dangerous creature on the grounds that year. He found it…though not before we had lost a student," he shook his head, "I'm sorry my dear, it was a rather dark time in the school. I'd rather not go into too many details. The student was a sweet girl, really. But lonely, I heard."

Lily nodded sympathetically, "It's a shame Mr. Riddle didn't stop the creature sooner."

Slughorn didn't answer right away, a haunted, knowing look coming over his face, "…Yes. It's a shame."

"What did Tom go on to do after Hogwarts, sir?" Lily asked curiously.

"Nothing," Slughorn said evasively, "As far as I know, I mean. He rather dropped off the face of the earth after he graduated. Last I heard, he worked for a time in Borgin and Burkes, handling ancient heirlooms and artifacts. Of course that was many years ago. That's…that's all I know."

Call Lily paranoid, but it sounded like Slughorn was trying to convince himself more than her.

"He worked with heirlooms?" Lily asked, "Like jewelry and ornaments?"

Slughorn nodded, "Among other things; from what I understand he had quite the gift for talking folks out of their valuables."

"Really?" Lily said quietly, taking that bit of information in with growing trepidation. She needed to get back to her friends and tell them, quick.

"Do…you have any family heirlooms you're particularly proud of, professor?" she asked suddenly.

"Of course," Slughorn perked up, seemingly relieved to change the subject, "I have the most extraordinary oil lamp, rumored to have once belonged to Godric himself. It's been in my family for years." He waddled off to fetch it.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Lily took out her wand and waved it over the picture in the album, muttering 'Gemino' under her breath. Immediately, she found herself in possession of an exact copy of the picture. Tucking it into her robes along with her wand, she silently thank Professor Flitwick for teaching her the charm the previous year.

Smoothing down her robes, Lily put on an air of nonchalance was Slughorn returned to the room bearing a large, bronze lamp reminiscent of something out of the tale of Aladdin.

 

{page break}

 

Lily raced down the stairs, paying no mind to the scolding of fellow prefects and tsking of portraits at her reckless pace. She side stepped a gaggle of first years and maneuvered around two moseying fourth years kissing, not even bothering to write them up for public affection. Reaching yet another flight of stairs, she took them two at a time.

' _Sev should be in the library by now,'_  she thought to herself, managing not to trip over a student's cat lounging at the top step,  _'he's going to want to hear about this.'_

Lily raced for the corridor leading up to the library when a glimmer of translucent silver caught her eye. She turned just in time to spy a misty figure gliding around the corner on the far end of the hall.

"Grey Lady!" Lily called out, "Wait!"

She rushed frantically after the spirit, making a fast pursuit.

"Grey Lady," she cried again to the figure's retreating back, "Excuse me, Grey Lady."

Still the ghost kept on going. They had reached a deserted corridor and it was becoming exceedingly clear that in a matter of moments the Grey Lady would pass straight through the stones and out of Lily's reach.

"Helena!" Lily shouted in desperation.

At that name, the Grey Lady did indeed stop. Gliding to a halt right before a wall she'd planned to phase through, Helena slowly turned around to face her pursuer.

"Rare that someone knows my true name," Helena commented softly, "I take it you are friends with that boy, then?"

Lily nodded, hands on her knees as she caught her breath.

"Yes," she panted, "His name is Severus, I'm helping him try to destroy the diadem."

"So he still wishes to accomplish that," Helena said musingly, "I honestly thought perhaps I had been tricked last term and he was merely seeking to use me like the last one did."

"No," Lily said firmly, "Sev is definitely doing all he can to figure out how it can be destroyed. In the mean time, we have it locked up, safely out of people's reach. We don't want it to hurt anyone or for it to be tampered with further."

"So he was genuine," Helena said. Her expression almost look hopeful, perhaps even happy, "I'm relieved."

"I have something to ask you," Lily said, reaching into her robes. She pulled out the copied picture from Slughorn's office, "You told Severus you couldn't remember the name of the student who cursed the diadem, but would you recognize him if shown a picture?"

Helena thought about it, "…Yes. I believe I could. His name escapes me but his face is still burned into my mind. His sickening false sympathy still haunts me; if only I could see then what a ruse it was."

Hesitantly, Helena floated closer to get a good look at the picture. Examining every face carefully, recognition flashed in her eyes as they fell upon one particular face.

"There," she declared, her ghostly finger floating over the handsome visage of a boy no more than fifteen, "That is the boy who lied to me, who sought my mother's legacy for his twisted desires."

"That's Tom Riddle," Lily told her.

Helena reached out to touch the image, but her fingers glided straight through.

"I remember those eyes," she murmured, "They were so unreadable. I hardly paid it any mind back then, so grateful to have someone who claimed to understand me. But now…I question how I never realized those eyes were so devoid of warmth. His eyes were deader than mine."

Helena turned to Lily, "Where did you find this?"

"Copied it from Slughorn's office," Lily said, tucking the picture back into her pocket, "It was taken in 1942. A year later, several students were attacked and one girl died. Tom was credited with catching the student responsible. Helena, we think Tom actually had something to do with that death. If so, you aren't the only one he ever tricked into believing his sincerity."

"I see," Helena said noncommittally, yet it was clear from her face that she took some comfort in that knowledge, "I remember that year. They planned to closed the school permanently if the culprit was not caught. A terrible shame it would have been, to deprive students of the knowledge in these hallowed halls. But parents were fearful for their children, especially the muggleborns."

Lily looked up, alarmed, "What do you mean?"

"All the students that had been attacked were muggleborns," Helena explained, "Including the girl who died. No pureblood or halfblood was ever harmed during the attacks."

Lily's thoughts were racing.

' _Hagrid did say the attacker left messages claiming to be the Heir to Slytherin,_ ' Lily thought,  _'And that they supposedly opened the Chamber of Secrets, built by Slytherin himself…could Tom have been targeting muggleborns?'_

Lily shook her head. It made little sense; Tom's surname was clearly muggle, yet he tried to kill muggleborns? What sort of sense was that?

There were other concerns too. Slughorn said the last job he ever knew Riddle to hold was at Borgin and Burkes, dealing with the buying and selling of rare items. Slughorn said he had a particular gift for talking people out of guarded possessions.

Like he did Helena…

"Helena," Lily started, "When Tom first spoke to you, did he ask about any other items besides your diadem?"

Helena nodded, "Yes. He seemed quite interested in all the founders' prized relics. Godric's sword is the only one account for at Hogwarts, but that boy seemed quite interested in where the others may be located. He asked me about Helga's Cup."

"And Slytherin?" Lily prodded.

Helena shook her head, "There wasn't anything I could tell him about Slytherin as no one knew what his prized possession was. I didn't think much of the questions at the time; I assumed he was simply looking to preserve history like he promised to do for my mother's diadem."

Seeing little point in talking further about the matter, Helena left without so much as a goodbye, disappearing through the nearest wall.

Lily stood frozen in place, her mind going a mind a minute. After several second of shock, Lily turned around and took off at a run, heading to the library to find her friends.

' _He was collecting them,'_ Lily thought in a panic, a rush of fear trickling down her spine,  _'He was making more cursed items! The diadem is not the only one!'_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our friends are getting closer to...well not the end. Nowhere near there, in fact...so they're getting...somewhere. That's close enough, right?
> 
> In all honesty, Slughorn is a very poor Slytherin. He tends to wear his emotions on is sleeve and is easy to read, making his attempts to hide anything next to impossible.
> 
> As for the first part of this story, I've had reviewers point out to me before how unlikely it would be for people of the 70's to have such self awareness for sexism and double standards to the level we do unless provided with a reason to have noticed the issue, like how Simone cares about consent because of what happened to her father with a love potion years ago.
> 
> So, Peter is getting his first hand glimpse of the unfair standards men and women are held to because it is directly impacting how his friend Marlene is viewed. Because he is getting to know the real, kind and funny Marlene, he sees the absurdity of her being judged so harshly for being openly sexual while guys like Sirius do the same thing, while also being a bullying jerk and yet still is viewed as better than Marlene due to the idea that "Boys are like that." The idea that Marlene is somehow less deserving of respect for her own sexual experience upsets Peter because he knows she is a good person and what she does with a willing partner shouldn't make her any less of a decent human being in the eyes of others when those same fold do not judge Sirius for sleeping around.
> 
> It doesn't help that both Sirius and James come from old money purebloods, who probably had the same stifling viewpoints of men and women as muggles did long ago. A woman was to be raised to be the perfect wife, with her virginity to be essentially a prize to her husband for marrying her. Meanwhile, people could turn a blind eye to men's escapades so long as no illegitimate heirs came about from their dalliances. James and Sirius don't mean to be so narrow minded, but they are a product of their upbringing; a high society of champagne, scandals, and mistresses (though I'm sure James parents succeeded in being one of the couples that had no infidelities).
> 
> James doesn't seem to appreciate his feelings for Lily being called into question, but really, what did he see in her before they started dating? To me it always seemed that his fixation stemmed in part from her turning him down; I doubt he truly had an interested in her as a person until she finally accepted a date from him and he began to see and appreciate the real her instead of the idea of her.
> 
> Leave a review, please :)


	62. Bathroom Browsing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus takes a gander at the broken sink...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, babies!
> 
> Thanks again for the lovely reviews and feedback. I appreciate everyone's viewpoints and perspectives :)
> 
> Not much to say in this author's note, other than that I'm glad people enjoyed the previous chapter. I'm also sort of amused and pleased by the number of people still weighing in on their dislike of canon Lily. I'm sure Remus was right that she was generally a nice, kind person, but I honestly never agreed with her overall dismissal of Severus's struggle at school and her inability to understand what drove him to the wrong side. Harry may have had a hard life and turned out good, but while they both pretty much had no one to count on for the beginning of their childhood, the key difference is Harry found a slew of friends the moment he turned eleven. Severus only found more enemies and people willing to exploit him. Harry had friends willing to break the statue of secrecy to fly a car and rescue him from his relatives house, for goodness sake! Severus had one actual friend as far as we know, a friend (Lily) who trivialized his mistreatment at the hands of her own Housemates. 
> 
> So yeah, not a fan of canon Lily either. Glad so many share my sentiments, but its fine if some of you don't. Not saying she was a terrible person; she did fight tooth and nail to save her only son.
> 
> Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

Severus tugged at the mirror adhered over the broken sink. Hiding yet again in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, he searched for any inconsistencies or details to the structure that would set it apart from the others.

It seemed almost ludicrous that a bathroom sink would have anything to do with the Chamber of Secrets giving the indignity of connecting a founder's supposed greatest secret to a restroom, but Severus couldn't shake the feeling there was more to this that meets the eye.

Most would believe it inconsequential that the creature that killed Myrtle just somehow happened to be in the same bathroom as she that night; a bathroom seemed an unlikely place for a lair. However, given that no creature was ever seen the night in question—aside from Aragog who Severus had already ruled out—it would make sense that rather than the creature having entered the bathroom and left without being seen, it instead came from the bathroom and never left, giving it no opportunity to be seen.

Given the eye level at which Myrtle indicated she was at with the beast, the creature was large, far larger than Aragog at the time and even less likely to leave the bathroom without garnering quite a bit of attention.

Severus also couldn't help but find it intriguing that the very sink Myrtle saw it by was rumored to have been broken since it was installed when new plumbing was put in place. It seemed suspicious that anyone would install a sink that was already broken, meaning it had to have been tampered with shortly after being put in place. The fact that the sink had never worked led Severus to believe it had another purpose. It would be an ideal way to hide a secret; if everyone knew the sink didn't work, they'd leave it alone and never examine it closely enough to find what was hidden.

According to legend, Salazar Slytherin hid the Chamber of Secrets away in the school at it's founding, claiming to have concealed a terrible monster within its depths. If the Chamber was opened back in 1943, it would be entirely plausible that whatever killed Myrtle and attacked the other students came from within the Chamber. Therefore, it couldn't be Aragog as Hagrid brought him to the castle from the outside.

When Lily had come running into the library a few days ago, Severus had been near speechless with what he had heard. He was so shocked he nearly forgot he wasn't technically on amicable terms with Lily at the moment. He hadn't a chance to coldly rebuke her as he had been doing all week because she instantly started talking and her words left him stunned.

Not only had Helena confirmed that Tom—the supposed hero of the school—tricked the diadem out of Helena's safekeeping and corrupted it somehow, but the students attacked in 1943 were all of muggle birth.

When Hagrid first mentioned that a student had been going around leaving messages claiming to have opened the Chamber, Severus had been somewhat inclined to brush it off as a kid making up stories to further scare their classmates during the panic over the attacks. The very idea of a teenager opening a supposedly nonexistent chamber seemed laughable. Now with the knowledge that the attacks only harmed muggleborns that year…Severus wondered if the Chamber truly did exist. If so, the heir of Slytherin was among the students back then and Tom seemed to fit the bill.

Severus normally wouldn't jumped to unfair bias and conclusions against his own House, but he couldn't deny an ambitious Slytherin seeking knowledge and power made the most sense to be Slytherin's heir. With Tom being the one who cursed the diadem for some nefarious reason, it made it even more likely he was the 'heir' who opened the chamber to wipe out Muggleborns. Being a prefect and later Head Boy gave him the perfect cover to operate under while carrying out Salazar's will.

His own heritage bared little consequence. Marvolo was a name of wizarding origin, so any muggle blood Riddle got from his father would probably make him half blood. The idea of a half blood carrying out a role of such prejudice towards muggleborns wasn't as unbelievable as Severus would like to claim it was. After all, Severus had found himself wrapped up in that blood purity nonsense out of a hatred for his father. Tom might have been in a similar boat, only with a far darker heart than Severus bore.

Riddle most likely reveled in his wizarding side. Being a descendant of one of history's most famed wizards would give anyone a big head. If Riddle had gone to the trouble of carrying out his ancestor's wish to remove all muggleborns from the school, it was very likely he himself held quite a great amount of ill will towards them as well.

The trouble was Severus could find no record of Riddle after graduating. Even his short-term job at Borgins and Burkes was mere word of mouth. Who knew what sort of horrors Tom was wrecking on the world, magical and muggle alike? And if what Lily said was true, he might have gathered a collection of items to curse, for Merlin knows what.

The Cup of Helga Hufflepuff was long rumored to be hidden away by her descendants, but that didn't mean Riddle was incapable of finding it. He certainly managed to find the diadem everyone believed lost forever. It was all a matter of charming the right people for information.

A position at Borgin and Burkes would have put him in the ideal spot to sniff out valuable and presumably powerful family treasures purebloods normally guarded in secrecy. He could flatter them and get them preening under his praise, making them feel important enough to brag, possibly. He somehow convinced an entire board of school governors to condemn Hagrid for a crime without any real investigation, so he could probably accomplish a great deal by word alone.

Slughorn's behavior was strange too, considering how Lily described it. The man seemed unnaturally reserved when speaking of Riddle, an unusual reaction to the mention of someone who once 'saved' the school from permanent closure. Normally, anyone achieving even the most miniscule of achievements meant Slughorn was sure to swoop in and take credit for having taught them, insist his influence shaped their greatness, so to speak. But he seemed almost ashamed to speak of Riddle, as though somehow the boy's accomplishments weren't enough to sway his opinion of the lad. Slughorn must have known some sort of truth about Riddle, be it Tom's culpability in Myrtle's murder, the diadem, or something much worse.

According to Lily, not even Slughorn's claim of not knowing Riddle's current whereabouts seemed convincing. Rather, it sounded as if he knew and wish he didn't. It was obvious that whatever Riddle went on to become after graduating, Slughorn saw it as too terrible to reveal. Meaning Dumbledore wasn't the only one who distrusted Tom.

Unfortunately, Slughorn was a notoriously obstinate man when trouble, so it would yield little results to harass him about what he knew. At worst, he may run to Dumbledore. If Severus suspicions about Dumbledore were correct, the man could and probably would use legillimency on Severus or his friends to extract information from them, leading him right to the diadem Severus didn't trust him to have.

Slughorn's assistance would have to end with the album he showed Lily; there was little chance Slughorn would share any further in regards to Riddle. This left Severus at a disadvantage once again, filled with new useful information, but with the inability to utilize such knowledge at this moment, he was burden under their weight. Being back at an insufferable square one, Severus had to resort to his usual investigative methods; tireless examination.

Severus actually didn't intend on opening the Chamber if it existed. Even with the utmost confidence in his abilities and skill, a teenager had little hope of confronting and surviving an encounter with any creature deemed worthy enough to serve someone as powerful as one of the Hogwarts founders. His goal was rather to find the Chamber and—once he worked up a believable reason to have 'stumbled upon it—bring it to the attention of the teachers. If all went well, discovering the true beastly murderer of Moaning Myrtle would clear Hagrid's name and simultaneously place scrutiny on Tom.

Once the papers got wind of a possible cover-up over the murder all those years ago, the best and most determined reporters and investigators would no doubt seek to uncover every single detail about the boy who the school once called a hero. All Severus would have to do then was sit back and let the information on Riddle come in the form of every juicy expose the media could publish.

It might seem lazy for Severus to let others look into Riddle, but given how questionable the man's past and present appeared, Severus didn't wish to get himself or his friends too closely involved in uncovering the truth. Who knew if Riddle was still dangerous or what he'd gotten into since his disappearance?

It was bad enough Severus and his friends had to take on the burden of destroying the diadem. If Severus could guarantee without any doubt that the item wouldn't fall into the wrong hands, he would pawn the responsibility off on the staff. But given their inability to simply protect one student from a quartet of his harassing classmates…well Severus doubted the lot combined could destroy the diadem without something going wrong.

To top things off, his group might have to destroy the diary too. Riddle's curse on the diadem demonstrated a great deal of skill, making anything belonging to him and enchanted quite dangerous. So Severus and his friends already had their hands full, they didn't need any threat from Riddle being added to it for openly snooping.

If Severus was going to learn about Riddle, he planned to do so from a safe distance…just as soon as he found the Chamber.

Back to the task at hand, Severus gripped the sides of the sink and pulled experimentally, testing for any give. Unfortunately, there wasn't any; as far as he could see, it appeared to be a normal, dirty sink. There hadn't been any visible signs of a button or handle on the sink that could open a door, though Severus knew magic probably could prevent such a thing from being obvious to passersby.

Still there had to be some indication that the Chamber resided here. How else would the heir find it? Salazar died centuries ago, so it wasn't like he could tell his heir where to find it. His bloodline faded into obscurity after his passing with many professing familial ties to him, but no claims being proven. And given Riddle's surname, his branch of Slytherin's bloodline would have had to have strayed so far from the clan's roots that it was doubtful Tom would have any real connection to his heritage that could pass down the information to him. He might not have even known his relation to the founder prior to discovering the Chamber. So what could he have possibly found to tip him off that this was the place?

A pair of hands suddenly came over Severus's eyes, "Guess who?"

"Judging by the scent of strawberry chamomile, I suppose I can rule out a ghoulie," Severus said with a sigh.

"It's me!" Mary declared, jumping back with a giggle, "I thought I'd see if you wanted some company."

"That is kind of you," Severus said, wanting to be polite.

The predicament with Mary was proving another perplexing issue on Severus's mind lately. The kiss she gave him their first night back to school caught him off guard and to put it bluntly, surprised the hell out of him. He'd no idea the girl even felt that way, so used to being at the bottom of the food chain when it came to looks and popularity that a girl's interest was a foreign concept.

Just having Lily express a desire for him had been enough to blow his mind. The only explanation he could provide was that perhaps Lily was just close enough to him that their shared interests and similar personalities matched up in her eyes. They'd known each other long enough that Lily developing any fondness for him was somewhat believable.

Severus frowned inwardly. Things with Lily hadn't lasted long though, did it, he thought sourly.

Still, Mary was the definition of surprise. Figuring out what could have honestly attracted her to him plagued Severus thoughts. It was a tiring quandary to say the least, as all question of how she could possible like him circled back to a cycle of self-deprecation, and Severus was growing weary of reminding himself of his own flaws. It did little to stave off the confusion though. Mary knew so little about Severus and his good traits were few and far between.

Mary never had an interest in Severus before he helped her on the train. In fact, she hardly acknowledged his existence, though proved a lovely alternative to the number of Gryffindors who taunted him. He honestly couldn't figure out what changed.

It wasn't like Severus had become sunshine and rainbows about the incident. His alignment may have changed, but he was still the same irritable bastard he always was. He took little enjoyment in most games; preferred reading in silence to engaging in conversation, and his humor was always on the dry side with more than its fair share of bite than merriment. He smirked instead of smiled, scowled heavily in most situations, and overall his patience for foolishness and tomfoolery was almost nonexistent.

To put it lightly, he was a rather prickly person that few found enjoyment in being around. Even those with newfound respect for him were more than happy to keep him at a distance, finding little pleasure in his dour presence. His ragtag group of friends seemed capable of enduring his brisk attitude due to their own stubborn, absurd quirkiness that already made them misfits in their own rights.

Nesme was oblivious even by Hufflepuff standards and her notoriously silly brand of curiosity had led to more than one occasion of her getting her thumbs, foot, or in one rare occasion, her head stuck in something. Her whimsical nature was certainly on par with the Hufflepuffs she roomed with, but her decision to befriend Slytherins went against the perceived weak timidity most people expected from a Puff.

Davis was probably the only Ravenclaw to have ever cheated on a test and been proud of it. Unlike his fellow housemates, Davis did not take pleasure in tests, feeling anyone can memorize a subject to spout a monotonous paragraph for an essay, but the really goal should be to properly apply one's knowledge in the real world. By that logic, he saw no reason to put an effort in a test that favored parroted information over real world application.

Thea's gift made her housemates naturally wary of her and her selflessness went against the very ambition Slytherins defined itself by. In fact, Simone revealed that the only Slytherin trait Thea demonstrated to get sorted there was a desperate attempt to bribe the hat with a new stool to sit upon, all in an effort to comply with her overbearing parents' wishes. That sneakiness was enough to convince the hat that Thea had what it took to be craftily resourceful.

Simone was an outcast for obvious reasons. Her explosive temper contradicted the Slytherin motto of keeping things close to the vest. Her outspokenness in regards to fair rights and equality for all didn't match up with blood purity ideals and her drive for friends and inclusion didn't fit well with the aloof nature of most Slytherins. Then there was her crass way of always sharing what's on her mind and her penchant for mischief when left unsupervised too long; a noteworthy trait that in her fourth year led to a series of detentions after Simone had decided for whatever reason to try and make a classmate's toad hatch an egg she'd nicked from Hagrid's chicken coop. Severus knew there was some sort of significance to that, but it escaped him. Either way, McGonagall had been fit to be tied that day.

In a way, it made perfect sense such an unusual bunch could tolerate Severus for all his particularities.

But Mary and Lily weren't those who stood on the outskirts of society. They were popular and loved by most of the student body, radiating a sense of belonging and capability to fit in with any crowd. Their looks made them the envy of many girls, and their kindness won them the favor of their classmates and teachers alike. The very fact that either of them enjoyed Severus's less than cheerful company was baffling. Lily, perhaps he could understand; they'd grown up together. But Mary had no reason to seek Severus out, there was no charming quality of his she could admire. He was just…Severus.

After the kiss, Severus had sat in stunned silence for quite some time while a very nervous Mary waited for any kind of response. She'd probably been worried that Severus had stopped breathing, he was so still. When the shock had passed—or at the very least subsided—Severus had attempted to make sense of Mary's actions, though her reasoning proved unhelpful.

"I don't know," she'd said, "I just…I really like you Sev. I have for a while now, I guess."

She'd been at as much of a loss as he'd been as to why she'd like him. All she could provide was a description of a fluttering in her stomach when he was close, a heat to her cheeks when he looked her in the eyes or complimented her.

Severus's attempts to rebuff her—gently of course—had gone just about as well in that it hardly went the way he expected at all.

Mary seemed very well aware that he didn't return her feelings, been expecting it even. In fact, she'd very accurately surmised that Severus's heart resided with Lily. However, she appeared to be under the impression that those feelings were unrequited, something Severus saw no reason to correct her on; no matter how mad he was at Lily he wasn't about to ruin her friendships by telling Mary that Lily had returned his feelings, nor that they had acted on them to some degree. It seemed like unnecessary conflict, especially since Severus was sure Mary's infatuation with him was only temporary and would die out soon enough.

For that matter, he didn't exactly know where he stood with Lily now either.

Matters with Lily aside, Mary seemed unbothered by Severus' lack of mutual affection for the brunette. Rather, she seemed fairly confident that things would change if Severus gave it a chance.

"Just get to know me a little better," she'd insisted, "Maybe you and I will find a lot of things in common. You're not dating anyone right now, so what's the harm in spending time with me? Who knows, you might even grow to like me."

And so began Severus's newfound companionship with Mary. They weren't dating; Severs made sure Mary understood that. It did little to change Mary's joyous mood though, the girl enjoying every single moment of extra time spent in Severus presence. She seemed convinced that given time, Severus might transfer his affections from Lily to her and thus had taken it upon herself to show him how nice 'dating could be' by being overly affectionate. She'd hold his hand under the table at the library, hook arms with him in the halls. She made an effort to be attentive, asking him how his day was and even listening to him describe his work with legillimency and occludmency.

Severus couldn't deny, having someone agree with him and support his efforts to protect people was a lovely change. Mary demonstrated an open-mindedness Severus always yearned for. For a time, he'd gotten just that from Lily, her opinions on Dark Magic having lightened up a bit after the attack on the train. Unfortunately, they'd come back with a vengeance during the ride into school this term and Severus didn't know if she'd changed her mind, or if she'd never come around to his way of thinking at all.

Mary's voice brought Severus back to the present, "So what are you doing in here?"

"Checking out the sink," Severus replied, "If the attacks did indeed originate from this bathroom, this would be the most likely place. Why else would someone install a sink that didn't work?"

"So you think the sink is a ruse?" Mary queried.

Severus nodded, "Most likely. It makes sense, really. I'm sure every girl who ever tried to use this sink just brushed it off as broken and moved on with their lives. There'd be little reason for anyone to think this thing didn't work for any reason other than faulty plumbing."

"But you've found nothing so far?" Mary asked.

Severus sighed, crouching down to look underneath the sink, "Not a single thing. It looks just like the other sinks; it's just the only one with a tab that doesn't work."

"Where's Myrtle, by the way?" Mary inquired, glancing around, "She usually hangs around during your visits."

"Someone may have flushed her down the U bend while she was daydreaming about death," Severus said evasively.

Mary laughed, nudging Severus, "You cad! She'll be very pissed when she finds out it was you."

"Doubtful she'll find out," Severus said, "She tends to get disoriented and lost in the lake from all the spinning. It will take her a bit to find her way back the right direction; she'll probably get sidetracked spying through the common room window in my dorm along the way. She…likes to watch the boys."

Mary whistled, "Hot blooded even as a ghost."

Severus walked around the ring of sinks, poking and prodding at their decors, the molding of the stonework around them. There didn't seem to be any discrepancies in the pattern, all the sinks were for all cases and purposes uniform. It really was a wonder how anyone could have ever stumbled upon a secret entrance in so inconspicuous a place.

"You said it was this sink that doesn't work?" Mary pointed at the first sink Severus looked over.

"Yes," Severus replied, returning to the sink in question, "Or rather, the tab doesn't work. I've poured water into the sink using charms, and it drains out just fine, so the plumbing technically works. But the tab," he wrenched on the faucet, "It's like it isn't hooked up to anything. Normally when you turn a faucet, you hear the pipes doing something even if water doesn't come out. Like…air in the pipes, lots of rattling, you know? But the tab doesn't do anything at all. That's why I'm sure there is another purpose for it; it clearly wasn't hooked up to the plumbing for a reason."

Severus rubbed at his head with his other hand, "I feel like I'm missing something but for the life of me I can't figure out what."

Mary rested her hand over top of Severus's on the faucet.

"You'll figure it out," she assured, rubbing her thumb back and forth across the back of Severus's hand, "I know you can. If anyone can makes sense of all this, it would be you, Sev."

Severus smiled gratefully at Mary, the vote of confidence was appreciated.

Mary smiled dreamily at Severus, her eyes half lidded. She took a step closer to Severus and for a minute he feared she'd try to kiss him again.

Thankfully, something else caught Mary's attention.

"What's that?" Mary asked, looking down at their hands.

"What's what?" Severus asked, grateful for the distraction.

"That," Mary pulled her hand away, taking Severus's with it. When the full faucet was uncovered, Mary lightly fingered the metal curiously, feeling it out for anything odd, "I felt something…it was near the back of the faucet."

Growing curious himself, Severus gently pushed Mary's hand away, replacing it with his own. Sure enough, there was something there. A shape of some sort, curvy and thin.

Intrigued, Severus bent down, his nose practically touching the sink as he craned his neck to see the faucet better. He brought up his wand, "lumos."

The light lit up the shadows in the recesses of the sink's frame, illuminating the cramped space beneath the mirror. There, along the curve of the faucet protruded the shape of a serpent.

"There," Severus exclaimed excitedly, "There's a snake on this faucet."

"There is?" Mary asked in surprise, peering around him to get a better look at it.

Severus nodded, running his hand all over the faucet.

"It's small," he said, "Tiny even. No wonder I didn't feel it before with how far back it is."

Severus raced around the other sinks.

"It isn't on any of the other faucets," he declared triumphantly, "Do you know what this means?"

Mary shook her head, "Not exactly."

Severus ran over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"It means you found the key to the Chamber," Severus cried.

Mary blinked, "I did?"

Severus nodded enthusiastically, "Yes. Don't you see? I knew the faucet held some importance, but the snake on it confirms it; the faucet is what is used to open the chamber."

He crouched down, feeling around the faucet, turning it this way and that, "It isn't a faucet at all. It must be a handle or something…maybe a trigger. Whatever it is, this has to be what Riddle found to tip him off the Chamber resides here."

"Soooo, how do we open it?" Mary asked.

"Well it won't open with Alohomora," Severus explained, "I tried that on the sink a few times before you arrived. No luck. There must be a specific spell that opens this; or even a password of some sort."

Mary titled her head to the side, looking at the little snake etched on the tab, "Riddle's diary knows about the murder and attacks, so he must have been writing in it prior to opening the chamber. Maybe he left a clue in there."

Severus snorted, "Yon can sure as hell bet no one is going to risk fiddling with that thing again if Riddle made it. We also don't know entirely what the enchantment is that makes it write back to us; for all we know whatever spell he used allows him to see who's using it now and what they're saying to it. Provided Riddle didn't die somewhere along the line, I would rather him not knowing we're prying into his secrets. It's too risky to fiddle with the diary without knowing what it was designed to do."

"So what now, then?" Mary asked.

Severus stood up, "For now, we need to tell the others what we found."

A gurgling from one of the toilets started up.

"And get out of here before Myrtle shows up!" Severus added hastily, grabbing Mary and dragging her from the bathroom, the girl laughing all the while.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we have a good look into the workings of Severus mind with the whole Mary situation. He's not really agreeing to date her, but he doesn't have the stomach to coldly tell her it will never happen. Instead, he is hoping the crush will run its course when Mary fails to get the romantic reactions she wants to coax out of Severus and move on. Meanwhile, Mary thinks of Severus as a guy needing a little push to get over what she believes is an unrequited love for Lily.
> 
> It was only a matter of time before someone *coughSeveruscough* decided to look into why the flipping sink doesn't work. Seriously, I question how in canon no one found it aside from Harry and Riddle. You mean to tell me no one ever complained to whatever maintenance Hogwarts has that the sink wasn't working? I mean they would be there to fix clogged toilets or broken stalls, right? It's odd that people simply went, "Oh well, that sink is broken, lets leave it be." Wouldn't someone, a wizard repairman maybe, have fiddled with that tab enough at some point while inspecting it to discover that snake on the side? Seriously, I'm honestly writing Severus out of character here by having him give that 'well hidden-ness' of the snake so much credit. Hell, Myrtle fucking lives in that bathroom, she memorized which sink she saw the eyes at. How could she have never taken a closer look at it?
> 
> Okay, rant over. Be sure to leave a review, lovelies!


	63. Downtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed puttering around doing nothing while simultaneously accomplishing something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people! Welcome back. 
> 
> As per usual, you are all amazing and wonderful for giving me feedback so I can improve and sharing your own thoughts and theories. You guys rock!  
> I am surprised about something though. I really thought you guys would get a laugh out of the mentioning of Simone once trying to hatch a chicken's egg under a toad and getting detention for it. 
> 
> Glad Severus's thoughts on the whole Mary situation were we received. I didn't want people thinking he'd honestly used someone he became friends with for a petty revenge against Lily. He honestly just has no clue how to deal with this because aside from Lily, he's never encountered a girl who liked him that way before. Hell, even with Lily he had no idea what to do. 
> 
> Anyway, to the merry making!

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Severus griped from his seat on the floor.

A slight jerk of his hair stifled his complaints.

"Hush," Nesme said, seated on the couch behind him, "I need to concentrate."

Delicately weaving her fingers through Severus's dark locks, Nesme trailed the pads of her fingers across the boy's scalp, feeling out every little detail, each lump and hollow. Mindful of her nails, she tapped at different places on Severus's head in intervals, careful not to miss anything. Every so often, she cast a glance at a worn book sitting open on the couch beside her.

"You have such nice hair," she commented, allowing some of the ebony locks to fall through her fingers like a waterfall, "Soft."

Severus said nothing, but inwardly he was relieved to hear it wasn't greasy. Even with proper shampoo and hygiene, he found it hard not to be self-conscious after years of people's mockery over his appearance.

"Phrenology is bunk muggle science," Severus huffed instead, arms crossed over his chest.

"Doesn't make it any less fun," Nesme chirped back in reply. She parted Severus's hair down the middle, running her finger down the center as if scanning the index of a book. Parting a new segment and beginning her search anew, her movements were slow and deliberate, careful not to miss a single variation in Severus's scalp. She flipped sections of the Slytherin's hair like pages, rubbing her fingers against his skin with feather light touches.

Nesme lifted a section of Severus's hair straight up so that she could feel out a spot at the roots with her free hand, carefully inspecting the spot before dismissing it as inconsequential and moving on.

"Anyway," Nesme said, gathering the back of Severus's hair up and flipping it forward over his head, "Phrenology isn't really about exact science; it's more about dragging things out of your subconscious."

"I somehow highly doubt that," Severus said from beneath his curtain of hair, feeling very much like Cousin It from the Addams Family.

"It's true, though," Simone said from the settee, bottle of nail lacquer in hand. She'd managed to talk three of the kitchen house elves into getting pedicures or foot massages, "There are many 'sciences' out there in the muggle world that don't do what they claim, but allowing people to think they do gives them better insight into themselves—other foot now, please," she requested of Grie, a knobby kneed elf.

Davis looked up from cleaning his chess pieces, "You mean like muggle tarot and palm readings?"

Simone nodded, "Exactly. Naturally, the readings these so-called psychics make are not accurate, but it forces people to supply answers for themselves, based on thoughts they were unaware were bothering them. The reader claims a person has a past regret, so naturally the person scrounges their subconscious looking for an event that caused them guilt or remorse and attributes that to the reader's claims."

Simone filed down the nail on Grie's big toe before careful applying the first coat of lacquer, blowing on it softly to quicken the drying time, "It's a great way to make people pry things out of their mind they once buried; gives them circumspect."

Lily listened intently from the armchair, threading her long fingers through Mary's hair, "But I thought tarot and palmistry were actual magic; we learn them in school."

"Yes, but true divination of any kind requires magic," Simone explained, not taking her eyes off the toes she was in the process of painting fuchsia, "A proper tarot reading requires channeling ones magic into the cards during shuffling, ensuring the cards drawn accurately describe the client based on what your magic sensed of them. The same goes for Palmistry; you have to use the inner eye to understand the true meanings behind the lines."

"Technically, you're reading the clients magical core, not the lines," Thea corrected, lounging with a copy of the Beedle Bard.

Lily nodded in understanding, sectioning off the center of Mary's hair to beginning braiding. Taking Simone's advice, she'd started requesting a lot of bonding time with Mary, frequently spending time with the girl both in groups and just the two of them.

She felt bad about interfering with Mary's relationship with Severus—though Simone assured her there wasn't one yet—but, considering she'd had Severus first and they never had a chance to officially discuss whether they were over or had even been together, it was only fair Lily get the answers she needed before Severus moved on to anyone else.

If waiting for Severus to forgive her enough to talk to took weaseling between him and Mary in the meantime, Lily wasn't going to miss the opportunity. She knew what she had with Severus was something real and even if it was over, Severus—and in part Mary—owed it to her to clear the air and see where she stood with Sev before he sought out any new entanglements.

Lily took comfort in the thought that her attempts to win Severus were not dastardly like Potter's past attempts to woo her. She was getting between Sev and Mary, but not maliciously. Potter mocked Sev ruthlessly and dogged his steps, all in some misguided attempt to flatter Lily with his antics. James deliberately riled Severus up so that Sev's hostile attitude afterwards would drive a wedge between him and Lily.

Lily was at least spending time with Mary making the girl laugh and smile…it just happened to cut into Mary's alone time with Severus.

She hoped that the time spent together would show Mary how much Lily did honestly care about her, so that the friendship could be saved if and when Lily got back together with Sev.

"Okay," Nesme announced, breaking Lily's concentration. The Hufflepuff sat back, holding her grandmother's phrenology book.

Using her free hand, Nesme arranged Severus's hair back into natural order, allowing him to see again unobscured by hair.

"It says here," Nesme said, tapping a spot at the front of Severus's crown, "that the traits of humor are focused right here. The bigger the lump, the better your sense of humor is. However…" she dragged her finger back and forth across a dip inward on Severus's skull, "The hollower that section is…the less humor you have. Severus…you have no sense of humor."

"I could have told you that," Simone quipped as she waved the next elf—Autch—to take a seat before her while she lathered up her hands in moisturizer.

Severus scowled, "I have a sense of humor."

"Sarcasm is not humor," Simone said with authority, "That's called being a prick."

"You're pretty sarcastic, Simone," Lily pointed out.

"Yes, but I am also bloody hilarious," Simone declared, rubbing moisturizer into Autch's feet with gentle firmness.

"Riiiight," Severus drawled, causing Lily to snicker. The pair smiled at each other before seeming to remember themselves, looking away.

"A Phrenologist once told Mark Twain that a cavity on his skull indicated he lacked a sense of humor too," Davis decided to add to the conversation, "He'd gone under a fake name. When he came back months later as himself, the Phrenologist had no clue it was the same man he'd already looked at once. He declared Twain had a wonderful sense of humor because he already knew Twain wrote satire. Never mentioned any cavity that time."

Severus smirked, "There you have it; a satirist accused of having no humor. What further proof do you need that this is all a load of dragon dung?"

"Focus," Nesme scolded, moving onto a new place on Severus's head, "Over here on the side of your head we have things like acquisitiveness, secretiveness…" she paused, smoothing her hand across the spot, "I see your secretiveness and cautiousness are immensely large…"

"You know, they say P.T. Barnum scored high in all traits except for cautiousness," Simone said absentmindedly, working the tension out of the soles of Autch's feet.

Severus snorted, "Now  _that_  I believe."

"Down by the ear we have destructiveness," Nesme went on, circling a place just above Severus's left ear, "Hmmm…it's not as big as I expected it to be."

"Okay if those lumps are telling you Snape's  _not_  destructive, then it has to be bunk," Simone joked, earning a few giggles from the others at Severus's expense.

Severus sent a rude gesture Simone's way.

Nesme shushed everyone soundly, eyeing her book, "Behind 'destructiveness', we have combativeness, which—ooh! I knew it, this one is extremely large."

"Phrenology vindicated!" Simone cried uproariously, making a few of the Ravenclaws in the blue clad common room send glares in their direction.

"Hogwash," Severus grumbled.

Nesme hummed, "The lumps don't lie, Severus. Your combativeness section is massively oversized compared to the other planes of your head."

"All of the lousy—," Severus reached up, touching the spot Nesme's finger was on, "That's not 'combativeness'; that's where Black deliberately struck me with a bludger in third year," he scowled, "He sent it right into the stands where I was sitting."

"Whoops," Nesme giggled, flushing red, "My mistake."

"I want to try," Simone said, dismissing the final house elf with an affectionate pat on the head. She jumped to her feet and came up behind Severus. Using Nesme's book for reference, she jabbed her finger at the back of Severus's head, "It says here that this is where 'inhibitiveness' is. Judging by this divet, you have no inhibitions."

"I think that says 'inhabitiveness', Simone," Nesme corrected.

"Really? The writing's so cramped," Simone looked closer at the book, Severus's head still firmly grasped in her hands. She looked down at Severus contemplatively, "Hm…safe to say this one's uninhabitable."

"Okay," Severus said sharply, batting away Simone's hands and standing up, "That's enough fun for now. Let's do something else."

"The hell with that," Simone said, throwing herself down in front of Nesme on the floor, "Do me next."

Severus rolled his eyes as the process started all over again.

"Phrenology is absolute drivel," he told Simone.

"Don't care; it feels amazing," Simone said dreamily, luxuriating in the sensation of Nesme's fingers gently carding through her hair.

Lily plucked a few hairpins from the tin in her lap, pinching them between her pursed lips while she finished off the end of Mary's braid. Using the pins to secure the hair in place, she admired her handiwork.

"It's done," she declared.

"Ooh, let me see," Mary pleaded, taking the mirror Lily offered her. Turning this way and that, she examined her reflection.

"It's beautiful," she said happily, patting her hairdo, "Sev, what do you think?"

Severus cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well it's…very nice…?"

Mary beamed at him, while Lily held back a frown of displeasure.

"How about you do mine next, Mary?" Lily suggested.

Mary nodded eagerly, enjoying some girl time, "Okay, let's switch seats."

The pair traded spaces and Mary straight away began finger combing out Lily's long hair.

"You're so lucky your hair is straight," Mary mused as she smoothed out any tangles, "Mine takes an hour to get all the snarls out; curly hair is the worst."

"And yet nearly ever straight haired girl wants curls," Simone murmured, leaning back into Nesme's touch as the girl did her examination.

Lily laughed, recalling her sister, "Petunia once slept sitting up just so she wouldn't mess up the curlers she put in before bed. She'd read in a magazine that curly was in."

Simone grinned, amused at the mental image that created, "I myself never got into the curls obsession; it's more work to accomplish that look with my hair."

"Yeah, you have a different texture than ours," Nesme noted thoughtfully, twisting a lock of Simone's hair between her thumb and pointed finger, "Why do you straighten it?"

"Easier upkeep," Simone replied, "I'm actually quite proud of my natural hair, but keeping it clean and tidy takes a lot of time and braiding. Most cosmetic charms can't quite replicate the intricacy of cornrows; a spell to make it sleek and straight is simple though."

"You use to cornrow your hair by hand," Thea remembered, "It looked so pretty."

"That was before the course loads increased more and more," Simone explained, "There's hardly any time in the morning to do a proper hair care procedure these days."

"Not that all this hair talk isn't fascinating," Davis drawled, "But are we actually going to do anything productive today? So far we've been sitting around doing nothing."

"I'm doing something," Nesme defended.

"Speaking of which, any lacking qualities in Simone, Nesme?" Severus asked sardonically, "Any massive hollows in her head indicating some profound shortcomings?"

Simone stuck her tongue out at Severus, "I'll have you know my head is as flawless as the rest of me."

"Actually," Nesme said interestedly, "This dip right here would indicate you lacking in appropriateness."

Severus pointed triumphantly at Simone, "Ha! Stick that on your broom and fly it."

"I'm chalk full of appropriateness," Simone insisted, "So fuck off."

Thea, being unfortunate enough to have chosen that time to take a sip of tea, promptly choked.

"Classy, Simone," Davis said, patting Thea on the back, "Very classy. Ranks right up there with the time you went an entire week pointing at things with your middle finger to see if anyone would notice."

"Made a lot of enemies that week," Simone mused fondly.

Davis shook his head, bringing the conversation back to the topic at hand, "Anyway, I was asking if we were going to do something today? You know…something important."

"The important matters you're obviously speaking of aren't the sort to be discussed with so many prying eyes and ears around," Simone replied, gesturing to the other students in the common room.

"I've got that covered," Severus announced, casting  _muffliato_  with a lazy flick of his wand.

"We're sadly at a standstill regarding both the diadem and the Chamber," Severus said with disappointment, "We don't know how to open the Chamber's entrance in the girl's room and we have no clue how or why Riddle cursed the diadem, which makes destroying it near impossible too."

"We've also reached a dead-end with information on Riddle," Davis added, "there's no one in the school we can safely ask."

"That's true," Simone agreed, "Slughorn is sort of out of the question since he'll avoid answering and any other teacher we ask might eventually repeat it back to him. He'll get suspicious of why we're poking around in that subject, maybe even run to Dumbledore if we're not careful."

"That leaves us up a creek without a paddle," Lily stated.

"Unless we got his school records," Mary said, clearing doubting it even possible.

Severus snorted, "I had considered that, but it's not possible. It's unlikely we could get access to the archives."

Nesme paused, her hands stilling on Simone's head, "Maybe not…"

All eyes turned to her.

"What do you mean, Nes?" Davis asked.

Nesme tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Technically, the school records are only protected for the safety of children."

"Yeah…" Simone prompted expectantly, "So?"

"So Riddle's not a child anymore," Nesme clarified, "His records aren't really under the same stature of confidentiality that they were when he was a student."

"Then his records are already discarded," Davis sighed.

Nesme shook her head, "Not necessarily. If I recall, older records are moved from the archives into storage once someone graduates."

"How do you know all this?" Severus asked.

Nesme grinned, "My first year here, I fell from the staircases no less than 27 times; couldn't get used to them moving on their own at random. It had to be logged in my record as incident reports to cover the school for liability. Madam Pomfrey usually summoned my file to make the write ups right in front of me. I got curious so I eventually asked about it."

Nesme giggled at the memory, "I guess I asked a lot of questions; she got really exasperated with me and offered me a calming draught just to shut me up."

"Aside from the humorous visual of you falling down a never ending staircase…" Simone began.

"How does that help us?" Lily finished.

"Well, from what I understand," Nesme elaborated, "No one physically removes the records when a student graduates, the records are moved magically by the school itself and only returned to the archive drawers when requested by a teacher, typically the Headmaster or Pomfrey."

"So?" Severus asked.

Nesme turned to Severus, "Soooo, if there isn't necessarily a place Hogwarts keeps old records, then they're simultaneously here and not here…sound familiar?"

Simone sat up, "You think we can get them through the Come-and-Go room?"

Nesme shrugged, "It's worth trying. The room supposedly turns into whatever you need of it, so why not a storage room for dusty old records no one looks at anymore?"

Severus frowned, "Dumbledore was exceptionally distrusting of Riddle, yet he and Slughorn both seemed to have kept his secrets hidden for some reason. Who's to say Dumbledore didn't have Riddle's records destroyed to keep others from learning about him?"

Nesme waggled her eyebrows, "It's not the Headmaster's decision; it's Hogwarts. According to our history books, the school can technically override any decision made by the Headmaster if it so chosen, acting with a will all its own. Just like any name in the student roster, Hogwarts adds the names itself when a witch or wizard is born and no authority can strike a students' name from the list unless they attend a different school or are expelled. Riddle graduated Hogwarts, so there is no legal authority to remove him from Hogwarts personal records. Maybe they're still here."

"That's a fairly big maybe," Simone said, mulling it over, "But I suppose it couldn't hurt to look into it. The worst that could happen is we find nothing and are back to square one; no harm, no foul."

"Exactly!" Nesme cried, happy to have someone on board with her idea, "So let's get going."

"I'm afraid we'll have to put off your experiment on hold for now," Mary informed the excitable girl, "Filch has been up in the seventh floor for hours, cleaning some sort of muck off the walls. I think Gideon and Fabian had something to do with it; they seemed pretty smug about something this morning."

Nesme deflated visibly, sitting back in her seat with a pout.

"Notice how those two hellions can prank without hurting anyone," Severus said of the Prewett boys, "A feat Potter and his lot seem incapable of accomplishing."

"But they've stopped bothering you, haven't they?" Lily asked.

Severus frowned, "Technically, though I've been hit in the past with some tripping jinxes and such that I'm positive were them. Though they haven't actually bothered me since this term started."

Lily smiled, relieved, "Good. I'm glad Potter's finally leaving you alone."

Severus scowled, "For all you know, this just means they're planning something bad."

"Or it means they're changing for the better," Lily argued. She didn't actually care what Potter was accused of, but she wished Severus wouldn't waste so much energy hating the guy when he could just spend time enjoying himself. Bitterness had to be exhausting.

"What makes you think he's capable of change?" Severus asked angrily.

"Nothing, I just think it's getting a little old to be hating someone who is no longer bothering you," Lily insisted, "Can't you bury the hatchet."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

Severus's scowl deepened, "If you think Potter's so reformed, why don't you go pick flowers again together."

Lily sat back with a start, surprised, "What?"

"You heard me," Severus snapped, "Go get all cozy with him in the moonlight."

The other's watched the exchange with interest, Davis and Nesme looking exceptionally confused.

It was Lily's turn to scowl, "I'm not sure what you thought was going on, but I didn't do that for fun, Severus. He wanted to get a flower for Jess. He even threatened to deliberately get caught and lose us points if I didn't help him."

The frown slid of Severus's face, giving way to genuine surprise and prompting Lily to wonder just what Severus thought she was doing with James.

"Now, now, let's not fight," Mary soothed, misreading the tension. She moved to sit next to Severus, wrapping her arms around him, "Lily's not about to turn her back on your friendship to date James, Sev. You two are best friends; she wouldn't let some arrogant jerk come between that."

"Right," Severus said lowly, looking away, "We're still friends."

Lily masked her sadness well, passing her frown off as annoyance for the overall argument.

Nesme caught Lily's eye and gave her a questioning look.

'I thought you two were together,' she mouthed when Mary wasn't looking.

Lily shook her head.

'It's complicated,' she mouthed back.

"Am I…" Davis started, gesturing between Mary, Severus, and Lily, "Missing something here?"

"No, you're not," Simone interjected quickly, "Davis, get over here and let Nesme feel your head. Let's find out what your shortcomings are."

Davis frowned, "I refuse to take part in such obvious ridiculousness. We've already determine that Phrenology is based on zero facts or research."

"Don't be a spoilsport," Simone chided, tilting her head back to look at Nesme.

"Don't you want to know how lumpy Davis's head is?" she asked her pleasantly plump friend.

Nesme nodded eagerly, "I do!" she turned puppy dog eyes to Davis.

"Please, Davis," Nesme begged, batting her wide hazel eyes at the studious boy, "I'll be real quick. Think of it as a massage."

Davis flushed, "That hardly makes the concept more desirable."

"Are you sure?" Simone teased, "It doesn't titillate you a little bit?" She looked back and forth between Nesme and Davis, waggling her eyebrows.

Davis flushed deeper, hunching down so that his shoulders came up past his neck, "I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Simone leaned forward, a shark toothed grin etched into her face, "Really?"

Nesme tilted her head, completely oblivious to the undertones of the conversation, "I'm confused; what's so funny about a massage? Davis, if it's your first time, I promise I'll be gentle."

Davis went tomato red while Simone cackled gleefully.

"What?" Nesme asked, lost, "What'd I say?"

"Nothing," Davis snapped, "Let's just get this over with." He plonked down in front of Nesme, his arms crossed and face scarlet.

Everyone else laughed. Even Severus allowed himself a slight smile, the previous tension temporarily lessening.

Still, he wouldn't meet Lily's eyes for the remainder of the day, meaning Lily was going to have to try a lot harder to get the stubborn boy to soften to her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have been channeling a little asmr in this chapter. It's actually very, very soothing to write about things like brushing hair or anything involving quiet, personal attention really. For me at least.
> 
> So I had a fun time with; got inspired on the Phrenology snippet after watching an epi of Mysteries at the Museum that covered the occasion where Mark Twain went to a famed Phrenologist; once under a fake name, once as himself. When the phrenologist thought Twain was some regular joe, he was quite adamant that a hollow in Twain's head indicated a severe lack of humor. But when Twain came back months later the Phrenologist, not recalling the previous encounter and knowing Twain to be a famed satirist, claimed that Twain had a great lump on his head indicating a vast capacity for humor. Twain marked this down as indisputable proof that there was no science to Phrenology, it was all a new aged (for the time) hoax.
> 
> Nesme is the sort of girl who is into all sorts of kooky things, even knowing when some of it isn't real. If magic didn't exist, she'd be the sort of girl who would still put out fairy houses for the ones that lived in her imagination, because it's more fun to indulge in make believe and fantasy.
> 
> Leave a review, please and thank you


	64. Light Reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily browses the library.
> 
> So does Severus...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at it again, folks!
> 
> Like always, a big shout out to all my readers, reviewers, and advice and feedback givers. You know who you are and you rock! ;)
> 
> Glad people like Nesme's quirkiness and the bit of down time the gang got. Sometimes nonstop action gets old and too perdictable. Also, if the actions always follows in rapid succession...it starts to play off like a soap opera.
> 
> "Raul! My wife left me for another man! Then the pair accidentally drove off a cliff, taking with them my unborn child whom I didn't know about till just now! Whatever will do I, Raul?"
> 
> "I don't know. You're not the man I once thought you were...and I'm not Raul!"
> 
> "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
> 
> Seriously, it gets melodramatic without lulls between some events, right?
> 
> Anyway let the chapter begin!
> 
> Brace yourself for our characters questioning morality.

* * *

Lily perused the shelves with reluctance, running her finger down the spine of some book so gingerly, one would think she fear a book would jump out and bite her at any moment.

Of course this was the restricted section, so for all anyone knew, a book just might do that.

It didn't take much convincing to get a pass into the restricted section. A little fib to Flitwick about possible extra credit work got Lily clearance under the guise of researching outlawed charms for an essay. Of course, Lily fully intended to do some sort of paper for her trusting, diminutive professor, if only to ease her conscience about lying to him, but Lily's true goal was far from a lousy research paper.

"Let's see," Lily murmured, her eyes scanning the list of titles before her, " _Poisons Throughout the Ages_ , no… _Fun with Cursing_ , not quite… _100 uses for Giant's Blood_  …ewwww….no that isn't right either," She tipped a few tomes towards her to better look at the covers, standing on tiptoe.

" _Adlebert's Encyclopedia of Blood Magic_ , not exactly what I was looking for… _The Rise and Fall of Grindelwald_ …that could prove useful, but no…"

While it was certainly a possibility that anything to do with a Dark wizard like Grindelwald could prove beneficial in unraveling the mystery of the secretly dark Tom Riddle—or at least help them understand the boy's thinking better—it wasn't particularly wise to check out so alarming a book from the library. The only reason Lily and Severus had sneaked into the restricted section last time was that the subject of cursed items would very well raise suspicion if Pince logged it in her records as being checked out.

With Severus under the spotlight on and off for the ongoing drama of the train incident, followed by his father's death and Avery's escape, anyone associated with him would look very questionable suddenly taking an interest in so sketchy a subject. Now that there were gossip columnist speculating that he was somehow still wrapped up in You-Know-Who's schemes, Lily—or any of his friends for that matter—checking out a book on the darkest wizard of all time would be like painting a target on their backs for Dumbledore to investigate.

Last time their research called for covert operations and infiltration. Not wanting to repeat the chaos of outrunning Filch, however, prompted Lily to try a more discreet, permissible method. She wasn't looking for cursed items this time anyway and it was entirely believable that so scholarly a girl such as she would be curious about Charms, her best subject. Flitwick had mentioned in previous classes that many older Charms once thought harmless had to be stricken from the school teaching list due to their revealed probability to cause harm. If Lily recalled, there was a wine producing charm that had to be banned ages ago after it was discovered that the conjured drink contained higher concentrations of a substance akin to anti-freeze and as such was poisoning wizards across the globe, proving the dangers of attempting to produce complex mixtures out of thin air.

So Lily had the perfect cover for browsing the restricted books Hogwarts held. Might as well make the most of her visit.

Lily leaned forward, squinting at one of the titles, " _Magic of the Morally Ambiguous_ …perfect!"

Lily plucked the book off the shelf, opening to the back index to narrow down her search.

"Lesser known defense," she read, skimming the pages, "Little known poisons, Magical maladies…Mind Arts! Page 306: Legilimency, 309: Occlumency."

After Lily and Severus's library heist last term, Lily couldn't risk taking out a book specifically speaking of mind reading. Word was going around that Pince was on the warpath after an inventory check revealed several restricted books missing, including the one Severus took on Occlumency/Legilimency. A student up and trying to check out a book on that very topic would shoot them straight to the top of the suspect list, a place Lily wished to avoid.

If Lily intended to get to know the subject better, she would have to rely on snippets of it from less obvious books. That's why she was looking for books holding large selections of magical subjects, hoping that among the pages would be the information she needed.

Sitting down in the aisle with her legs crossed, Lily hesitated before opening to the correct page and reading.

' _While the most naïve would refer to the practice of Legilimency as mind reading, practitioners find the term to do the skill little justice. Legilimency ranges far beyond mere mind reading; it grants access to a targets mind in its full capacity. A Legilimens can view thoughts, emotions, dreams and even the deepest subconscious the target themselves may not even be aware of. The most skilled of Legilimens possess the ability the extract memories, removing them from a person's mind without use of Oblivation. The act of legilimency is oftentimes held in high esteem as the ideal method of information gathering'_

"You mean privacy invading," Lily huffed with a frown. Honestly, you can take someone's thoughts away from them if you so choose? Why would Severus ever think that was okay?

' _Initially thought to be a learned trait, historians and researchers have noted some wizards and witches throughout history bearing this skill naturally and have theorized that the most powerful of Legilimens can pass the ability down through bloodline; thought this has yet to be proven. Further evidence to the born ability theory is the naturally presence of the skill in magical creatures such as the Wampus Cat, native to North America and noted as capable to use the ability shortly after birth.'_

"So some people are naturally born with the ability," Lily muttered, "I suppose you can't really fault someone who can't  _help_  reading your thoughts." It was surprising to learn some magical folk had a predisposition to Legilimency; she'd been positive it was a dark art developed by the foulest of wizards, created solely to invade and violate. To know some people didn't exactly get a choice on possessing the skill was certainly unexpected.

Still, Severus was  _not_  one of those people. He chose to learn an ability for robbing people of their privacy.

Curious, Lily ventured on.

' _Used for centuries in various aspects of magical society, in more recent years, the practice of Legilimency is viewed as morally grey, the ethics coming under fire after various accounts of unskilled Legilimency attempts leading to catatonia in its victims, both Legilimens and target alike.'_

Lily's eyes widened in alarm.

' _This is because becoming a Legilimens requires the utmost patience, skill, and mental willpower. Those of weak will are advised to avoid such practices as a weaker mind could be easily overwhelmed when delving into the thoughts of someone stronger._

_It became quite common in the middle ages for novice Legilimens to become trapped in their target's mind, rendering both comatose and unresponsive, usually for the remainder of one's life unless a more skilled practitioner could break the mental connection.'_

"Sev, what have you gotten yourself into?" Lily said worriedly, her eyes trailing over the picture of a woman in a hospital bed, prone and unresponsive with her eyes hollowly fixed upon the ceiling.

Lily continued to read, becoming more and more distraught with every sentence. Terms like 'vegetative', and 'memory trauma' swam before her eyes in blocky text, causing a weight to settle uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach.

Severus wasn't just crossing a line; he was endangering himself as well. One wrong move could plunge him so deep into someone's psyche he may never recover. He could be overpowered by someone far stronger than him, rendered little more than a lifeless sack of flesh and bones, kept alive only by magic in the halls of St. Mungos.

Severus had said he worried about Rosier and Wilk's capabilities; that he wanted to see what they were doing long before they could implement a plan of attack. But what if one of Rosier's skills was Legilimency? Severus could try to read his thoughts only to have it pushed back on him, leaving the door to his mind wide open for Rosier's invasion, giving the conniving creep access to all Sev's secrets. Dear merlin, what if he learned about the diadem?!

Worse still was the possibility Rosier knew Occlumency. Even if Severus mastered that skill enough to protect his mind from being read, if Rosier could guard his thoughts too, a Legilimency attempt by Severus could prove disastrous. According to the book, Occlumency could not only project false images to shiled the real memories, a skilled Occlumens could quite literally throw a Legilimens from their mind if they fought hard enough, usually at the cost of the Legilimens own mind, the severing of the connection creating a devastating blow to their brain.

An image of Severus sprawled out on a bed in a white room flashed before Lily's eyes, him staring across the room at nothing, unblinking, unseeing. The very thought horrified Lily. Why would Severus risk it?

…Why would he risk it for her?

Lily looked down at her hands, recalling the fight at the start of term. Severus said he was doing this to protect her, hadn't he? He was putting himself in harm's way all for her…and she'd thrown it back in his face, berated him for it. He only wanted to protect her.

Lily was at a loss how to feel at this point. She wanted to stay true to her principals. After all, she'd been through, the thought of subjecting someone else to any form of violation sickened her, made her feel dirty. However, Severus was right; people weren't going to play fair in this war. How far was she willing to go to ensure what happened to her once never happened to her again? Or worse, to someone she cared about?

She thought of her mum and Petunia, defenseless muggles, women depraved Death Eaters wouldn't think twice about putting their hands on. Hell, she thought of her father, of what sort of twisted assault the likes of Bellatrix or her friends could do to him to degrade him in his final moments. Simone had said it herself; no one deserved to have their consent taken from them and no one was immune to the risk of it happening. Simone's father certainly hadn't been safe.

How far would she go to defend those she loved? As far as Severus? Lily didn't honestly think she had the stomach or willpower to force her way into someone's head. It seemed too cruel…and yet…where did she draw the line at acceptable?

When Avery escaped Azkaban, for those first few nights, Lily slept with her wand hidden under the pillow she and Severus's shared in his room. She'd pulled it from its hiding place after Severus fell asleep, herself lying awake for hours clutching it in her hand and staring at the door, waiting for Avery to burst through any minute, his sickening smirk smeared across his face.

Could Lily really say she  _hadn't_  considered blasting the bastard to pieces if she ever saw him again? That Sectumsempra  _hadn't_  been on the tip of her tongue as dread coiled inside her every time she heard a floorboard creak in the hall?

A part of her should be flattered Severus cared so much about her. Honored, even. As much as Lily strove for independence as a young woman, there was no deny the flutter in her heart when she recalled Severus bravely coming to her aid at the end of fifth year on the train. She had loved and admired courageous way he fought for her, the compassion he showed when he took her in his arms after every nightmare the following weeks. He'd become her knight whenever fear kept her from sleep, her own fantasy of safety and protection.

But the reality wasn't a glamorous picture of an armor clad Severus on a white horse saving the day. Reality was much bleaker with victory less assured. In fairytales the prince always won, but there was no guarantee in real life that Severus's attempts to protect her wouldn't end in his own demise. That was what terrified Lily most. What good would surviving in one piece be if she had to live on with the gaping hole in her heart and an empty place beside her where Severus once stood?

It was clear Severus intended to place himself directly in harm's way if it meant Lily was spared, but such a sacrifice seemed far more selfish than if Severus had taken the easy way out and simply fled with her. At least running as cowards could potentially assure they made it out alive, and more importantly together. If Severus actually thought Lily could make it through Severus dying for her, he greatly underestimated just how much he meant to her.

Lily glanced over the final paragraphs in the Legilimency section of the book, dreading what new sort of horrors it would reveal.

' _While the duplicity and unethical nature of Legilimency is the subject of much debate, many can agree that when used consentingly the practice of Legilimency can prove beneficial in many aspects of healing that other magic cannot accomplish.'_

Lily perked up, intrigued.

' _Several notable cases of Legilimency have made critical acclaim in magical world of healing. One such case being the study of Darcy Bougard, a girl render catatonic after a fall from a broomstick resulted in head injury. Her father was noted to have spent six years perfecting Legilimency in order to enter his daughter's mind and, with repeated sessions, eventually drew her consciousness to the surface. Though lacking the majority of use of her right side, Darcy went on to live sixty years, marrying and starting a family._

_Proponents of Legilimency in healing have proclaimed it's value in trauma recovery; granting Legilimens access to suppressed or traumatic memories that put an unnecessary toll on survivors of great hardship. Many famed Legilimens claim that suppressed memories can break down a person's emotional and mentally stability on a subconscious level, leaving the victims unable to process or treat the symptoms, as they cannot pinpoint the cause. Legilimens argue that their ability to draw thoughts out from the deep recesses of someone's allows them to cope with their past and overcome it rather than fear it.'_

"So it's not…all bad?" Lily questioned, puzzled. She hadn't given much thought to consenting use of the ability. The way Severus had described it, it sounded like Legilimens spent all their time diving unpermitted into unsuspecting victim's heads, rifling through their private thoughts with reckless abandon. She hadn't considered that anyone would willingly welcome a Legilimens into their head.

Still…that didn't change that much of Legilimency use consisted of entering someone's mind without their knowledge or permission. The few times it was consented to by a person didn't really make up for how often the ability was abused to invade someone's privacy. However, it did help to know Severus could potentially use the ability to help rather than hurt.

Who knows, perhaps when the war was over—something she prayed happened in hers and Sev's lifetimes—Severus could venture into the healing arts and utilize that skill for beneficial purposes. She'd already considered his potential for being a curse breaker or auror with his knowledge of Dark Magic. If he could put it to use in a way that  _wouldn't_  hurt someone…maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Of course, first she would have to get him out of this mindset of selfless risks and sacrifice. She didn't want Severus compromising his morals for her safety. She'd once heard talk in the common room that use of true dark magic could alter one's soul, ruin it even. She refused to let Severus go that far all for her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if he did.

Having had her fill of Legilimency for one day, Lily picked up the book and sandwiched it between two tomes on illegal and dangerous charms in order to make her excuse of extra credit charms research more believable. Leaving with plenty to think about, Lily completely missed sight of a black head of hair bowed over a book several tables away.

 

{page break}

 

Severus reread the passage before him, jotting down notes here and there in his notebook as he went. He'd managed to get a tad farther in the basics of Legilimency and had made some decent progress in clearing his mind. The latter would certainly come in handy for Occlumency, something Severus did not intend to abandon simply because he'd taken on researching Legilimency. With all the secrets Severus and his friends had stumbled upon as of late, it would be foolish to not consider strengthening his mental shields against prying eyes, namely Dumbledore's.

Perhaps Severus should consider teaching his friends Occlumency as well. While it was true Severus would be the most likely target of any curiosity Dumbledore could have, it would be a sever underestimation of his intelligence to assume he wouldn't seek out information through Severus's friends. Their honest, open and easily read faces made them a goldmine of information for the average Legilimens, so Severus shuddered to think what could be uncovered from them if they just happened to make eye contact with the headmaster one day at lunch.

There was also the concern of Rosier and his group. Severus did not know for certain that any of them knew either form of mind magic, but Severus wouldn't put it past a pureblood like Rosier to have been taught some level of protection against Legilimency to keep his family's secrets out of Dumbledore's grasp. After all, they'd need some level of cunning to raise a future Death Eater under the headmaster's nose.

It was even more likely they'd want Rosier well-guarded when they learned Thea would be in his year. The Rosier's would want nothing more than to ensure all their secrets were protected from Thea's opportunistic family.

Merlin help them if Rosier knew Legilimency. If his parents were to teach him at all, they'd most likely have started when he was younger, which would give him a leg up from Severus. A severe disadvantage Severus were prefer to avoid. The danger would be even greater if Rosier attempted to look into the minds of Severus's friends. Doubtful the rotten berk would exercise restraint on their vulnerable minds. Severus was confident he could manage somewhat against a Legilimens with his mind still intact, but the results would be disastrous for his friends.

It could be beneficial to teach his friends some basic mental practices, but it would be near impossible to teach some many people Occlumency when he was still learning it himself. He'd at least have to make sure to stress the importance of avoiding eye contact with Rosier or any of his lot and above all, never, ever look Dumbledore in the eye.

"Penny for your thoughts?" came a gentle voice to his right.

Nesme slipped into the seat next to Severus, the Daily Prophet and a dream journal tucked under her arm.

"Wouldn't it be a 'knut for your thoughts' around here?" Severus asked.

Nesme smiled, "Just used to my mum saying it the muggle way. It's what she is, after all."

Severus tilted his head, intrigued, "So that would make you…"

"Muggleborn," Nesme answered, "My biological father was muggle too. The only magical influence I had on my life prior to Hogwarts was my dad Rajesh."

"That would certainly explain some of your more muggle colloquialisms," Severus remarked, "So what brings you to the library?"

Nesme shrugged, "Nothing much. Davis is reviewing his transfiguration notes and that's boring, so I ducked out."

"Back to build a fort of books again?" Severus queried.

Nesme snorted, "Maaaaaaybe. So, hows the mind magic going?"

Severus looked at her suspiciously, prompting Nesme to shrug her shoulders.

"Simone told me," she said nonchalantly.

Severus sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, "And I suppose she's made her displeasure on the subject clear, hm?"

"Don't take it too hard," Nesme assured, "It has nothing to do with it being light or dark magic; just the potential it has for bad."

"Well I'm trying to utilize it for good," Severus said in frustration, "Why do people have to take a noble action and dissect it into something foul?"

"Maybe because the path to bad is paved in good intentions?" Nesme suggested, "Or something like that; I forget how it goes. Either way, you can't argue that Legilimency has just as much potential to hurt someone as it does to help."

"Yes, but the only people I could possibly hurt probably deserve it," Severus growled, "I mean, have you  _met_  Rosier? He's just as bad as Avery or Mulciber. Who knows what he's capable of."

"Then shouldn't that concern you?" Nesme questioned softly.

Severus looked at Nesme curiously, "What do you mean?"

"Well if you're in Rosier's head, you'd have access to all his memories and thoughts, wouldn't you?" Nesme asked, "Not just the ones you're looking for. What if he is as bad as Avery? Or worse? I imagine you don't get to see only what you want in there; you may find some things too terrible to speak of if he truly has sided with You-Know-Who. Do you think you could handle looking at the worst of him? Knowing just how big a monster he might be on the inside?"

"I…" Severus began, "I hadn't thought of that."

"Maybe it's time you should," Nesme suggested, "This isn't like playing a spy in the movies, Severus. Even with a consenting subject, Legilimency isn't a victimless crime. Seeing who someone really is can change you, Severus. Sometimes it's better not knowing just how bad someone can truly be."

"So even you're against this," Severus sighed, massaging his brow, "Great…"

Nesme shook her head, "No, I'm just making sure you realize the risks. I'm not going to try and stop you or anything."

"Well at least I have you and Mary on my side," Severus said. He side eyed Nesme, "Sort of anyway."

If it makes you feel better, Simone isn't hung up on this because it's dark magic," Nesme offered, "Her problem with it lies in what it can essentially do. Consent and privacy are very important to her and Legilimency is sort of…well morally unethical. Did you know she hates the Statue of Secrecy for that very same reason?"

Severus's eyes grew wide, "She does?"

Nesme nodded, "I mean, she gets why we need the Statue and she loves muggles; of course she wants to protect them from those who would use magic to hurt them. However, there is a certain aspect of the Statue that has always rankled her."

"What?" Severus prompted.

"Obliviation," Nesme responded, looking at him, "It's standard practice with all accidental or intentional magic in front of muggles outside of those with magical children, siblings, or spouses. If you have no connection to magic; the second you catch a hint of it, it's stricken from your memory like that," she snapped her fingers.

"Simone hates it because it takes away muggle's choices on how to handle magic," Nesme explained, "Instead of protecting muggles from severe danger like Death Eaters and blood purists, she sees it as invalidating them when they actually are harmed by magic. No one asks them if they want to remember it or not; they could be assaulted and the ministry just wipes it away. Poof!"

"But in that case, wouldn't you think some things are best forgotten?" Severus asked with genuine interest.

Nesme shook her head, "The memory is never really gone though, is it? Sure, the details would be lost, but we have enough wizards and witches in the wards of St. Mungos after accidental obliviation who still respond to certain smells, still cry when hearing certain songs. Think about what sort of triggers could exist for a muggle who's been harmed irrevocably by magic? To have lingering fears and sorrow, but no idea why must be awful."

"That probably would be terrible," Severus conceded, his mind going back to his recovery at St. Mungos. There had been an old man constantly wandering out of the ward for permanent spell damage. Various healers said he was the victim of obliviation, though the culprit was never determined.

The man used to chatter quite good naturedly with anyone who passed him, but whenever the smell of egg sandwiches wafted by around lunch, the man became a hysterical mess, ranting about a trolls, an unimaginable foul stench, and a man with remarkably white teeth and a fake smile. He never knew where any of his ramblings stemmed from, as he couldn't recall a single detail of his life for certain, let alone any time he ever encountered trolls. But that smell always seemed to set him off, presumably because many likened the scent of mountain trolls to that of rotten eggs.

Severus shuddered; he'd hate to be reduced to a gibbering by remembering something he didn't realize was even a memory.

"That's a fair point," Severus agreed.

"The problem with Legilimency is you not only can see someone's private thoughts, but, given enough practice, you can actually take some of them away if you want," Nesme said "That's not much different than oblivation."

"Simone says that robbing someone of the rights or abilities to process grief in their own way is essentially stealing the legitimacy of what happened to them. I can't say I disagree," Nesme's gaze grew wistful, her eyes glassy over.

"Nesme?" Severus prodded with concern.

"My birth father left when I was just a baby," Nesme explained, "Mum insists he died of a fever, but there was this picture she used to carry of them on their wedding day. The man in the photo; I saw him from time to time in our town with a much younger, thinner woman than my mum. Richer too."

Severus listened silently.

Nesme shifted in her chair, getting comfortable, "When my birth dad left, we couldn't afford the rent on our flat, so we were kicked out. We lost everything. It was just me and my mum, an infant and single mother living on the streets."

"My earliest memories are being hungry," Nesme went on, "So hungry. It felt like there was a hollow pit in my stomach that could never be filled. And of course, it rarely was filled. There would be times we wouldn't eat for days, drank dirty rain water collected in tin cans during the downpours. It made us awful sick sometimes, it did. My mum, she ate less than me, gave me most of the portions she could pilfer or earn in whatever way she could. She won't talk about what she did to earn some money here or there, but…I have a pretty good idea…"

Severus looked away, pity pooling in his stomach.

Nesme pushed on, "When I was nearly four, mum brought me to a nearby park to play. We'd managed to wash up in the sinks at a coffee shop bathroom that day so mum saw it as a chance for me to play with other kids without being picked on for being dirty or smelling funny.

"A kid shoved me off the jungle gym," Nesme said flatly, "Called me ugly and pushed me backwards off it. I should have hit the ground but…I stopped an inch or two before I made contact, just floated there."

"Accidentally magic," Severus said knowingly.

Nesme smiled, "Yep. My mum was pretty freaked out, naturally. She'd seen me do stuff like that before but this time was different. I mean, there were witnesses, a whole park full of them. She grabbed me and ran. We must have gotten about half a block away before this man appeared in front of us. Just popped out of nowhere, like magic. That was the first time we met Rajesh. He'd been visiting on holiday and saw everything, realized what had happened. He sought my mum out to help her because he knew she had no idea how to raise a magical child. Somewhere along the way, they fell for each other and I had a father again."

Nesme smiled fondly down at the now faded henna on her hand, "Do you know what really makes a Hufflepuff?"

Severus blinked, taken off guard by such an odd question.

"People have several choices when faced with troubles," Nesme began, "You can try and become a fighter, put on some bravado to hide your fears and shine the brightest, like a Gryffindor, or you can turn it into a learning experience and make every obstacle from then on a challenge to overcome, like a Ravenclaw. You can also let it make you bitter, cause you to lock your feelings up for fear of perceived weakness," she looked at Severus, "Like a Slytherin."

"But…" Nesme went on, "when you make it out alive and can still smile the same, still find joy and love and good in the world…that's Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff means to survive, with every part of what makes you you still intact. It means to not let life's cruelties change you, to not let it extinguish the light you have inside you. I can smile each and every day because I know even with the ugliness I faced, there is still lots in this world to be thankful for, there's still beauty."

Nesme looked Severus in the eye, unblinking, "The days before Rajesh came along were pure hell, but if given the option to forget them, I don't think I'd take anyone up on the offer. They were my hardships, my struggle, and I want to remember them because they're a reminder that I survived, that it didn't break me, that it didn't make me into something I'm not."

"You don't have to talk about what you grew up with," Nesme added, "I have a pretty good idea what went on anyway. Just answer me this: how would you feel if someone came in and took those memories away? Even if they thought that they were helping you in some way by making you forget; good or bad those memories are  _yours_. Would you really want to just forget everything you've been through up till now?"

Severus considered the question carefully. It was true he'd been through a living hell most of his miserable childhood, been subjected to cruelties no one, especially not a child, should go through. He'd forever be angry at the man who tormented him, the man who destroyed the woman Eileen once was. He'll probably never get over the resentment that boiled inside him at the very thought of Tobias. Not even the man's death could quell the disgust and hatred he felt for that wretch.

And yet…Severus couldn't say he would rather forget what happened. If there was a way to go back and ensure none of it had ever occurred, sure he'd do that in a heartbeat, if only to save his mother from the lifeless shell she was now. But to have the memories removed while the facts still very much existed…it would be like an insult to how hard he fought to keep going.

Even surviving out of sheer spite was something in which he took pride. His father thought raising him with hate would make him too soft to fight back, but instead Severus proved his resourcefulness but letting that very hate be the motivator to thrive. He found a better life in spite of his father; that was something he would always be proud of; he didn't need that man to have a good life.

So no, Severus didn't think he'd want the memories of what he suffered to be erased. Awful as they were, they defined a large part of his life and to forget it ever happened would be spitting in the face of everything he endure, everything he got through and succeeded with. As bitter as the resentment made him, it also reminded him of how fortunate he was now.

"No…" Severus admitted, "I don't think I would."

"And I can't say I blame you," Nesme said.

"I don't get it," Severus confessed, utterly confused. It was the first time Nesme had ever had a serious and composed conversation with him. He hadn't expected such depth to her character before, "What is it you want me to do? You want me to stop researching this?"

Nesme shook her head, "No, I just want you to be aware of the weight of your actions. Bad things are coming, terrible things and everyone knows it. We're all probably going to make some hard choices out there. I can't fault you for doing something drastic. I only hope that if and when you do, you recognize all the repercussions and consequences that may come with it."

Nesme's gaze was the most serious Severus had ever seen it, unflinching, unwavering. She held Severus's gaze for a long, silent moment, before Severus broke away and nodded in understanding.

"I'll only use it if I absolutely have to," he agreed.

Nesme smiled, relieved, "Good. I know you'll make the right choices when the time comes, Severus." She gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.

"Now," Nesme said, standing up, "I've got my eye on a nice secluded pair of shelves that would be ideal to build a book fort between," she pulled out a magazine and a bag of crisps from her bag, "If you need me, I'll be in my inner sanctum."

She walked away with purpose, leaving Severus smiling in bemusement.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I didn't intend for the title to be ironic or punny when I wrote it, but given the chapter deals with morally ambiguous magic and light versus dark magic, I can see it coming off that way XP
> 
> Mind magic in the HP universe always struck me as more risky and dangerous than it is portrayed in canon. Sure, it's acknowledged as difficult to learn and dangerous for those who's secrets are exposed, but I personally feel there must be some level of mental and emotional risk towards the legilimens to dabble in other people's must secretive thoughts. Not only could a person uncover things potentially too terrible for them to handle, but being inside the memory would cause them to witness the awful deed in question. I imagine using Legilimency on a suspected rapist would be traumatic for even a trained Legilimens.
> 
> There's also the risk of the mind's defenses. Surely a skilled Occlumens could do worse then just forcibly push a legilimens from their head? Couldn't they damage the other's mind in retaliation, or trap them in the connection? Opening someone else's mind just leaves you susceptible to the link being opened back in your direction.
> 
> I'm sure some of you have begun to wonder if anyone other than Simone ever takes a moral high ground to be the voice of reason in the group. Well here's perceptive, contemplative Nesme!
> 
> I know most if not all of us have been firmly on Severus's side in this whole issue because war isn't fair, but let's admit, if the tables were turned and Severus was on the receiving end of Legilimency-say by Dumbledore-we'd be demanding the legilimens pay for the indiscretion because Severus doesn't deserve to have his privacy violated in such a manner. Nesme is someone who personally lives by 'treat others how you wish to be treated', so she wants Severus to understand just exactly what he is doing and how easily he could be in someone else's unfortunate position.
> 
> Last resorts need to be just that; something you do last when all else fails.
> 
> Review, folks!


	65. Spying is Easier When You're Good at it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyone wondering what the Marauders are up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings!
> 
> Like always, I love and appreciate all the feedback and reviews. Really just the fact that ya'll are still hanging in there with me for this story is a gift. It truly is ;)
> 
> I'm pleased so many of you enjoyed Nesme coming more out of her shell.
> 
> I know some of you feel her speech was a little shoehorned in, but I honestly wasn't trying to make it that way. I've been setting up Nesme's backstory for a while, with little snippets here and there about her stepfather, his culture, and above all, Nesme's bloodline as a muggleborn. She's more quirky in a way we all can relate to or believe because she's from a muggle heritage.
> 
> Nesme honestly seemed like the best person to talk with Severus about the particular issue of legilimency because she can relate the most to Severus on hardships. Neither of them is necessarily ashamed of what they've lived through, but that doesn't mean their experiences and feelings revolving around it aren't private or important to them. Tampering in the mind is a controversial subject and Nesme, as someone not really inclined in either leanings about it, can best give Severus some perspective on what exactly he is risking and the importance of understanding that what he uses it for must be worth compromise his morals.
> 
> Simone preaches about right and wrong, but she's only experience a certain type of hardship; discrimination. She knows nothing of poverty or abuse, has had support and love from her parents and the security needed to truly come into her own. She can preach all she wants the moral dilemma of what Severus's is doing, but she can't give him the perspective needed for him to see just exactly what he is risking and what lines he would be crossing.
> 
> Nesme can get Severus to see his situation from both sides, because she can get him to realize how he'd feel on the opposite side of the wand, stressing to him the importance of not abusing this ability.
> 
> Okay, I really loved writing this chapter. Adds a bit of levity mixed in with "Uh-Oh, is the secret out?"
> 
> Trust me, that statement makes sense once you read the chapter.

* * *

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Sirius asked with disinterest.

"Because," James said—with waning patience—for the fourth time, "Snivellous is up to something. I just know it."

The pair were staking out a mostly empty corridor just shortly after breakfast. Though safely concealed beneath James's trusty cloak, they still crouched low behind a suit of armor waiting with baited breath for their target.

"Of course he's up to something," Sirius drawled, "He's a slytherin; they're  _always_  up to something. It's what been a slimy snake is all about."

"But this time it's more than the usual sneakiness," James argued back, "Now he's skulking around in secret, ducking into weird places and dragging his loser friends and poor Evans along."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You know she might be going willingly."

James shook his head, "Doubtful; they still don't seem to be talking much to one another. Whatever they fought about must have been big."

"I'll say," Sirius agreed, smirking, "I hear they didn't even really celebrate each other's birthdays this year. It was just them sitting on opposite ends of their friends in awkward silence while sharing a cake. They exchanged cards, but no presents."

James turned to Sirius, "How'd you hear that?"

"Meldonna," Sirius explained, "She has been gossiping about it. I guess she's excited Evans has had another falling out with Snivelly."

James clenched his fists, "If he called her a mudblood again, I'll—"

"Fly in on a gold plated broom, hex the nasty git, and sweep precious Lily off her feet," Sirius theorized, "Up away into the sunset where you'll live happily ever after, right?"

James narrowed his eyes at his friend, "You make it sound stupid."

Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender, "I have nothing to do with that; it's a dumb thought on its own."

James glared at Sirius when a bit of noise down recaptured his attention, "Look!"

James and Sirius watched as Nesme, that round faced Hufflepuff Snape hung around with, poked her head out into the corridor. Looking shiftily up and down the hall, she smiled in relief and waved to someone behind her.

In short order, Thea and Simone slipped out of the bathroom, closely followed by Lily and Mary. Stepping far more cautiously, Snape and Davis brought up the rear.

"That's the girl's loo," James whispered, "What's dirty ol' Snivellous doing in there?"

"It's the haunted loo," Sirius pointed out, "Maybe Snivelly's dating that pimply-faced ghost." He snickered to himself.

"Why are the other's with him?" James persisted, "What's Snape planning?"

As the pair looked on, the group of bathroom cavorters talked quietly amongst themselves for several minutes, heads together. After a few minutes, they all straightened and nodded to one another.

"They're planning something," Sirius said, finally drawn in by the secrecy.

As Nesme and Davis headed down the far end of the corridor, Mary hooked arms with Snape and Lily and led them down the opposite end, heading straight towards James and Sirius's hiding spot.

"Shit," James cursed, ducking down.

"We're in the cloak, you idiot," Sirius hissed, "Just keep quiet and we'll be fine."

The girls passed the spying Gryffindor's without conflict, having no clue they were there. However, Snape did pause for a minute on his way by them. Tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, a puzzled look came over his face. He sniffed the air.

Sirius muttered a little spell, sending a small breeze downwind of them.

Confused, whatever Snape thought he smelled was gone. Shaking his head, he went on his way.

"Do you have to wear so much cologne?" James asked Sirius in exasperation.

"At least I thought of a way to disperse it," Sirius defended, "How was I supposed to know he'd smell me."

James glared at Sirius from under the cloak, "Have you  _seen_  the size of his nose?"

The pair held each other's gazes for a moment, before twin grins spread over each of their faces. Holding back their laughter, they turned their attention back to the stragglers of Snape's group.

Thea and Simone stood whispering by the bathroom. Every so often Simone would gesture to Thea's book bag, a look of concern on her face. Thea seemed to mirror her concern, yet she shook her head, shrugged the bag over her shoulder and clutching it more firmly to herself.

"Wonder what's she's got in her bag that's so important?" Sirius mused.

"Whatever it is, I bet you it has to do with Snape," James said with great conviction.

As the Slytherin girls stood talking, a large furry mass waltzed out of the bathroom, sending James's heart plummeting into his stomach.

"Fuck," Sirius cursed behind him.

Amadeus strutted towards his owner as Simone crouched down to pick him up. Cooing to the hairy beast, Simone cradled it like a child, nuzzling her face into its belly. Setting the oversized creature back down, Simone gave it a gentle pat on the behind.

"Behave yourself, Amadeus," She called as she and Thea went off to their first class.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Sirius muttered, taking a careful step back as Amadeus paused and turned in their direction.

"That thing sees through cloaks," James recalled with panic.

Amadeus headed towards, his great, bushy tail swishing lazily in the air.

"We have to stay hidden until Serapeum and her sidekick are gone," Sirius hissed, "Back up!"

The pair inched backwards at a hurried pace, doing their damnedest to keep their footsteps quiet while out running the cat.

Amadeus would not be stopped, however, picking up the pace into a jolly, playful prance.

"Fuuuuuuck," Sirius ground out, nearly tripping over his own feet.

"Just a little longer," James said in a hushed voice, eyes on Simone's retreating form, "Almost…almost…"

Simone and Thea rounded the corner and out of sight.

"There!" James came to a halt, forcing Sirius to trip as the cloak abruptly yanked out of his grip and sent him crashing to the ground out of its coverage.

"Hey," he snapped, glaring at James and rubbing his side, "A little warning, next time."

"Relax, we're in the clear now," James said dismissively as he tucked away his cloak. He looked smugly down at the cat waddling towards them, "You almost exposed us, you little rotter. Better luck next time."

Amadeus sat down with a thump, eyes narrowed in displeasure.

"Now we just need to see what Wormy found out," James said to Sirius.

As if on que, a chubby rat scurried out of the recently vacated bathroom, its beady eyes swiveling back and forth to ensure the coast was clear.

"Well speak of the devil," Sirius said, dusting himself off.

The rat turned in their direction and made a beeline for them. It was halfway to James and Sirius when it's eyes landed on the cat nearby.

Unfortunately for the rat, Amadeus had seen it as well. Perking up, the enormous feline sprung to its feet and crouched into position.

"Uh-oh," Sirius uttered, "Oh…oh no, wait just a minute kitty."

It was too late. With a playful wiggle of his hindquarters, Amadeus leaped towards the plump little rodent.

The rat squeaked in fright, frantically running away with the cat in fast pursuit.

"Bad cat!" Sirius scolded, " Very bad cat!"

"Wormy, come this way," James called, "This way!"

Sidestepping the pursuing feline, the rat serpentine down the hall back towards James and Sirius. Shooting past them, it ducked behind a pillar as the cat followed. Moments later, a rather human yelp sounded out.

"…caught him," Sirius said with a cringe.

Peter came out from behind the pillar in a disheveled state. Hair askew and robes rumpled, he glowered at his snickering friends as he trudged towards them.

Dragging behind him on its belly was Amadeus, chewing and tugging on his robes with gleeful abandon, purring madly.

"So…uh," Sirius began, fighting away a grin, "I see you may a friend…"

"Sod off," Peter snapped, tugging his robe out of Amadeus's grasp, "See if I do anything for you two ever again."

"Don't be like that, Peter," James pleaded, still smiling.

"Yeah, we wouldn't have let him eat you," Sirius added. He plucked up Amadeus by the scruff of his neck, "You're a naughty kitty, aren't you? Yes, you great big pain in the ass."

Amadeus meowed plaintively, ears flattened to the sides of his head.

Sirius grinned wider, wagging a finger in the cat's face, "You can't outsmart us, you hairy fiend. We're smarter, cleverer." He let out a shout when Amadeus snagged his waving finger with is claws.

"Furry Bastard!" he cried, dropping the cat and sticking his finger in his mouth.

Amadeus held his head up triumphantly before darting off down the hall.

"Forget the cat," James said, turning to Peter, "What did you find out?"

Peter shrugged, "Nothing I could make sense of. They were talking about needing a password for something. Or a key; they didn't seem sure which."

"A key?" Sirius parroted, still nursing his hurt finger, "For what?"

"Dunno," Peter replied, "They needed to get into something, but I couldn't make out what; Myrtle was sobbing on and off the whole time, making a big racket."

"Must be why they pick there to meet," Sirius theorized, "Using Moaning Myrtle to drown out what they're saying."

"Maybe," Peter conceded, "They were messing with the sinks a lot too. Kept circling them; twisting handles and poking at the mirrors."

James and Sirius looked at each other in bafflement, "Well that's weird. You think they hid something in the sink?"

Peter shook his head, "I couldn't check because if I changed back in the bathroom Myrtle would have seen me."

"Good thinking," James complimented, "Can't have her running her mouth and outing us."

Sirius tapped his chin thoughtfully, "So they're looking to unlock something; that isn't much to go on. Any idea if it has anything to do with Thea's bag?"

"Bag?" Peter questioned.

"Yeah, that quiet girl," Sirius explained, "She was clutching her school bag awful tightly when she left. I think she's hiding something in there."

"Oh," Peter said nodding, "It was probably that book, then."

"What book?" James asked.

"They had this book with them," Peter elaborated, "Thea and Simone were the ones who brought it in. They were prodding it with their wands and trying various spells on it."

"Was it a spell book?" Sirius pushed.

Again, Peter shook his head, "Couldn't tell, it didn't have a title anywhere on the cover. But Snape was dead set against opening it. He got into an argument with Simone about it even. She seemed convinced it had something to do with the key they were looking for."

"Must have been a notebook then," Sirius said, "Snape's gotta be keeping his plans in there; probably something about this 'key' or something."

"Then why wouldn't he want Simone to open it?" James questioned.

Sirius waved his arms in exasperation, "He's a Slytherin! They don't trust anyone, not even each other. Whatever he's cooking up, I doubt he wants Serapeum to be totally in the know; she'd steal his ideas."

"She and Thea were the ones who had the book, though," James pointed out, "And they apparently left with it."

Sirius shrugged, "Then I haven't a clue what the hell it is. Either way, if Snape is involved, it's probably really bad."

"All the better reason to tail him until we have our answers," James said decidedly, "But first, let's see what's all the fuss with this bathroom."

"Are you sure, Prongs," Peter asked nervously, pretty sure Myrtle will blab if we all just flounce in there."

"First off: Sirius flounces, I strut," James clarified, earning the finger from Sirius, "And secondly, we won't be seen by her at all," he waved his bundled up cloak, "Shall we, gents?"

It was a tighter fit under the cloak with three people as opposed to two, but nothing they hadn't managed before. With careful, slow movements, they crept into the bathroom. Watching where they stepped—lest they walk into a puddle and alert Myrtle to their presence—they converged on the sinks in stealthy silence.

Above them, Myrtle hung listlessly in the air, sighing and simpering to herself in forlorn self-deprecation.

"Which sink were they at, Wormtail," James whispered as softly as possible.

"The one on the far right," Peter whispered back, "The one with the dirty mirror."

"Looks pretty ordinary to me," Sirius said quietly. He turned the faucet, "Doesn't even work."

"Maybe Snape messed with it," James suggested, "Jammed something inside it, I bet."

Sirius stuck his finger in the spout, feeling around.

"Nothing here," he concluded, "Did they do anything else?"

"Well, they were trying to pulled the faucets and mirrors off," Peter confessed, "They seemed convinced something was behind them."

"That's weird," James observed.

"This is a waste of time," Sirius huffed, "Let's just follow Snape and see what he's up to."

As he said this, Sirius took a step backwards, only to land his foot plop in a puddle.

Immediately the crying stopped.

"Who's there," Myrtle demanded, glancing around furtively, "Come to make fun of me?"

James held a finger to his lips as he and his friends stayed deadly still.

"Show yourselves!" Myrtle cried angrily, "Is this some sort of joke? Playing games on poor Myrtle?"

Growing frustrated with the lack of response, Myrtle scowled.

"I don't have to stand for this," she declared, "Out with you!"

Waving her hands, Myrtle brought a deluge of water spewing out of the toilets in a great, big wave and sent it hurling in the direction she heard the splash.

"Incoming!" Sirius shouted.

Scrambling out of the wave, he and his friends made a mad dash out of the bathroom as water rained down on them, dredge up from Merlin knows where. Stumbling over the soaked cloak, the trio collapsed just outside the bathroom, falling over each other to land in a heap on the floor.

"Do you think she saw us?" Peter asked worriedly.

James shook his head, spitting out some water with a grimace, "I don't think so, we had our backs to her."

"Now can we go follow Snivellous?" Sirius asked in annoyance. He stood up, shaking out his wet pants legs.

James sighed, wringing out his sodden cloak, "Sure."

A gaggle of girls passed them, eyeing the odd site.

"Ladies," Sirius said with a bow, prompting the girls to giggle as they walked away.

James elbowed Sirius, "You can flirt later. Take out the map; let's find what Snape's been up to."

 

{page break}

 

"Can you see anything?" James asked, trying to see through the narrow space in between two heavy books.

Sirius shook his head, "Nah, the angle's not right. We need to get closer."

Now water-free curtesy of a few drying spells, the trio of nosey Gryffindors slide in and out of the rows of bookshelves in the library. Trying to find the perfect place to spy from, their eyes peeked out between crevices in the stacks of books, fixated on the goings on of one lone table tucked away in the corner.

"He's not doing much," Sirius observed from a better hiding spot, "He's just reading."

James leaned forward, "Reading what?"

"I can't see the title when the book's lying flat on the table now can I, Prongs?" Sirius quipped sarcastically.

James glared at him, "Don't get your skivvies in a twist; I was just asking."

"Well the answer was obvious," Sirius shot back, "We're bloody standing next to each other. If you can't see the book, what makes you think I can?"

Peter wrung his hands together fretfully, "You guys, be quiet or he'll hear us."

"This was a waste of time," Sirius complained, "We've been here nearly an hour and he's done hardly anything. We missed Transfiguration; that's a detention for sure."

"It'll be worth it when we catch Snivellous in the act," James argued.

"Though in the act of what, is anyone's guess," Sirius groused stepping back from the shelves, "I'm out of here."

"Wait," James said suddenly, grabbing hold of Sirius's sleeve, "Someone's coming over."

He pointed frantically at an approaching figure.

Sirius sighed, "It's just Serapeum. And her crony," he added as Thea came into view, "They must be out of class by now. You know…because they actually went to class."

"Shh!" James waved Sirius off, staring eagerly at the Slytherins.

"They've got the book again," James whispered excitedly as Thea produced a leather book from her belongings, "Maybe they're going to read it."

"Reading, how exciting," Sirius drawled.

At the table, there seemed to be a hushed argument taking place between Snape and Simone. The taller girl brandished the book about angrily, gesturing to it insistently while poking Snape in the chest from time to time. Snape for his part, was unmoved by whatever the girl was saying, his face resolute and impassive as he shook his head and crossed his arms in front of him in an X over and over.

"Whatever Serapeum wants with that book, Snape's not having it," Peter observed, "Do you think it's cursed?"

James snorted, "As if Snivelly's afraid to play with cursed items. He probably cursed it himself."

Fed up of whatever conversation took place, Simone shoved the book into Snape's, forcing him to take it with great reluctance.

Begrudgingly, Snape muttered something James and his friends couldn't make out, then sat down and hesitantly opened the book, Simone and Thea crowding around him.

"We can't make out the words of anything from here so a fat load of good it does us to have them open the ruddy thing."

James frowned, thoroughly put out, "True. It is all just scribbles from where we're standing. I can't—wait a minute."

"What?" Sirius inquired.

James stood on tiptoe, craning his neck to see better, "There isn't anything written in that book."

Sirius whipped back around to the table, "What?"

"The book's blank," James pointed out, "Look. Every page they flip; there's nothing on it."

"So it's a notebook after all?" Sirius asked, baffled, "I would have thought Snape would have it loaded with writings; especially since he's being so secretive about it."

Snape had his head bowed over the book, saying something out the side of his mouth that drew a flippant gesture from Simone, the girl jabbing at the pages with her wand insistently.

"Are they trying to enchant it?" James asked.

"Maybe the words are hidden with vanishing ink," Peter suggested.

Batting Simone's wand away, Snape brought out an inkwell and quill. Scribbling something in the book, he and his two female companions watched as the ink faded from sight.

"Would you look at that," Sirius said, impressed, "That's one way to keep your journal private."

"Hey, something else is appearing," Peter pointed out.

Sure enough, a slightly longer sentence than the one Snape put down seeped forth onto the page, though it was still too far away for James or his friends to make out.

"So…give a secret, get a secret?" Sirius ruminated.

"Not sure a book can do that," James said, unsure, "Do any enchantments or charms work that way?"

"Well, what else could it be?" Sirius asked, as Snape wrote a few more lines in the book, "It's not like the bloody book can talk to him."

"Shh, we don't want to be overheard," James warned, though it may have come too late.

Snape turned towards their hiding place, narrowing his eyes and squinting at the shelves.

James and the others kept as still as possible, hoping the Slytherin wouldn't be able to make out their eyes hidden among the shadows.

Shrugging his shoulders, Snape seemed to dismiss whatever he thought he heard, though clearly he wasn't going to take any chances. Closing the book, he tucked it under his arm and nodded for Simone and Thea to follow him, departing the library together.

"Come on, before we lose them," Sirius urged moving forward. A hand across his chest stopped him.

"Don't be hasty," James advised, "We don't want to be seen. Let's give them a head start and then use the map to track them."

The trio pursued their targets throughout the castle; to conceal the truth of their map from others, they acted as though it was a star chart for Astronomy they were looking over whenever anyone passed them in the halls.

"They're heading for the seventh floor," Sirius said, pointing at a group of footsteps wandering across the map.

"What do you suppose they're up to?" James asked.

"Beats me," Sirius said, "But whatever it is, I can't wait to catch them in the act,"

Picking up the pace, Sirius drew his wand, eager anticipation on his roguish face.

James smiled, holding his own wand at the ready, "If we catch them doing something particularly foul, maybe they'll get expelled."

Sirius gave his friend a wolfish grin, "That's what I'm hoping!"

"You can't run around with your wands out," Peter cried, struggling to keep up with the pair, "Or people will think  _you_  are up to no good."

His warnings fell on deaf ears.

"Almost there," James said, sparing the map a quick glance, "Right around….here—gotcha!"

Leaping around the corner, James and Sirius held their wands confidently out in front of them, grinning proudly.

Whatever victory they were hoping to achieve, however, never came as they realized they were staring at a blank wall.

"Wha," James gaped, flummoxed, "Where'd they go?"

Sirius pocketed his wand with a scowl, clearly put out.

"Did you read the map right," he asked with a frustrated growl. He grabbed the parchment from James and scanned it with fervor, "Maybe they ducked into a classroom somewhere nearby."

James shook his head. Taking a corner of the map, he indicated where they were standing, "I'm telling you, they were right in this very spot a few seconds ago. That's not enough time to get to a classroom; there's hardly any rooms on this floor as it is."

"Well there's no door here," Sirius stated, gesturing to the corridor, "So it's not like they disillusioned it; the map would still show it."

"Then where are they?" James asked.

"How should I know?" Sirius shot back.

Peter piped up hesitantly, "Um…guys. Didn't this happen once before?"

James and Sirius looked at him questioningly.

"What's happened before?" Sirius asked.

Peter tapped his fingers together nervously, looking about, "People disappearing from the map. It happened that time in the common room when we were spying on Snape. A few days after Halloween; one minute he and his friends were there; the next they weren't."

"Hey you're right," Sirius said, eyes going wide, "Then it wasn't a fluke."

"Not only that," James said, examining the map closely, "It was in this very spot too."

Sirius approached the wall, running his hands along it.

"What are you hiding it?" he asked to no one.

James came up besides him, "What no, Padfoot?"

Sirius turned to James, a glint in his eye, "I say we wait right here till they reappear. If there's some secret entrance we don't know about, they'll have to come out of it eventually."

James nodded, a devious grin spreading across his face, "And when they do, we'll hex them good—"

"You!" croaked a raspy voice.

Filch hobbled up to them, his trusty cat at his side.

"You three!" he cried, brandishing an accusing finger at them, "What are you doing up here? Back to mess up this corridor again with your slop? I spent three days cleaning up that mess!"

"Uh…" James stammered, sheepishly pocketing his wand; that didn't help the suspicious against them, "Beg pardon?"

"You heard me," Filch bit out, "I was scraping gunk off the walls till my fingers cramped. I won't have you doing it again."

"That wasn't us," Peter insisted, recalling talk of such a prank, "It was the Prewe—"

Sirius slapped a hand over Peter's mouth.

"Prankster don't snitch on each other," he scolded in a harsh whisper.

"Get going with you," Filch growled, advancing on them menacingly, "Get going. Get! I won't have any more mischief from you three."

Flapping his arms about him, Filch chased the boys from the corridor, snarling after them.

"I guess having our reputation proceed us has its downsides," Sirius grumbled.

"Now how are we going to catch them?" James complained.

Sirius patted James on the shoulder, "Cheer up, Prongs. If there is a passageway there, they'll surely go back to plenty of times to come. We'll catch them another day."

James nodded glumly, "I suppose so. We'll have to keep an eye on them for now on."

"More importantly," Sirius declared, "We have to get a hold of that book."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all been wondering what our resident knuckleheads have been doing, right? Well here you go; they've been doing a whole lot of nothing and accomplishing very little.
> 
> Had a great time fleshing out the guys some more. While I despise Sirius's actions, I can't deny that he has some level of charm in the presence of people he likes. He also is very loyal and dedicated to those he cares about. So it's interesting to try my hand at writing those aspects instead of focusing solely on his jerk persona.
> 
> Peter has been great fun to work with. I've always felt that his cowardice and ultimately his betrayal were the result of years of everyone teaching him to lack confidence in himself. The teachers thought little of his abilities, most adults had low expectations of him, even his own friends basically dismissed his capabilities on a regular basis, joking constantly about his lack of skill or talent. He was more skilled than people give him credit for if you look at his accomplishment in framing Sirius and creating a spell strong enough to kill so many so he could escape. He even managed to become an animagus-no easy feat, mind you-and his friends wouldn't even let him have that victory, pointing out in canon that he supposedly needed their help greatly to do it.
> 
> He was built up to be this utter failure, the definition of incompetence that even he doubted he could do anything right. So of course he would be fully convinced he stood zero chance against Voldemort. It sounds like he joined Voldemort before Voldemort had actually heard the prophecy or chosen which family to target, so it wasn't like from the get go he decided to sell out his friends. It seems rather he joined when confronted in order to avoid being tortured or killed and then when the Potters were targeted, he was already enslaved to Voldemort and knew he'd be murdered if he didn't cooperate. It was still wrong to reveal their location, but for all we know, Peter might have believed that James or Lily was smart, strong, or skilled enough to make it out alive.
> 
> Please review, my dears.


	66. Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets some news that leaves him conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, people! Welcome back!
> 
> As always, you are all wonderful people for reading this story and a big thank you to those who reviewed.
> 
> I'm tickled that the direction I'm taking Peter is being so well received. He's an interesting and honestly tragic character in that he never got to have true, real support from his friends despite them clearly expecting him to go so far as to risk his life for any of them. The very fact that they picked him as Secret Keeper not because they trusted him, but rather because they thought so little of him they figured no one would suspect him speaks volumes for how he was viewed by his so called friends. I don't agree with his decision to sell out Lily or baby Harry, but I can't say I blame him for not being willing to stick his neck out for James. I mean, how sad is it that the only respect he ever was given came when people thought he had died as Secret Keeper? And even then that respect came with a lot of "never would have thought he had it in him", further illustrating how unremarkable they saw him as.
> 
> Well, let's give you what you came for: Drama!
> 
> Trigger warning for references to domestic abuse. Not sure how triggering the chapter would be since it's sort of just someone recalling and talking about their past, but the author notes at the end might get heavy for some.
> 
> Also, minor (really minor) character death.

* * *

Of all the things Severus would expect waking up to in Slytherin—a curse upon his trunk, a hex on his way to the bathroom, possibly even an enchantment rendering him immobilized in bed—he certainly wasn't expecting his Head of House hesitantly knocking at the door to the sixth year boys dorm.

A normally jovial and self-assured man. Slughorn hung back in the doorway this sunny morning, an uneasy and somewhat somber expression on his face, his drooping oversized mustache giving him the look of a sad cartoon walrus. Without his boisterous charisma, Slughorn almost seemed to shrink in on himself, diminishing in size, a spectacular feat given his massive belly.

"Severus…my boy?" he asked tentatively, "The Headmaster would like to see you, please." Despite the uncertainty in the professor's voice, it wasn't a request.

Casting a subtle glance at his eavesdropping dormmates, Severus slowly got up from his bed, setting his homework revisions in his trunk and sealing it tight.

Following Slughorn into the common room, Severus did his best to appear nonchalant as he passed by the few students out and about so early in the morning. Truly, it wasn't even six o'clock yet, students weren't due to class for three more hours. The early birds who did flitter about the common room cast a curious eye at Severus as he walked passed with his professor.

Severus spied Simone stumbling groggily out of the girl's dorm, her hair wrapped up in a silk scarf and a steaming mug of tea in her hand. Blinking blearily back at him, Simone cocked her head at Severus questioningly, gesturing towards Slughorn with her mug in obvious inquiry. Severus could only shrug, mimicking her confusion.

"What exactly is it the Headmaster wants, sir?" Severus finally asked as he and Slughorn strode through the dungeons.

"There's something he needs to discuss with you," was Slughorn's vague reply.

"Sir," Severus pressed, his concern rising, "Has something happened? My mother," he said as the thought occurred to him, "Is my mother alright?"

Slughorn was quick to reassure him, "Your mother is fine, lad."

"Then what happened?" Severus asked again.

Slughorn shifted uncomfortably. He took Severus by the shoulder, gently urging him onwards.

"It's probably best if the Headmaster explain it to you," he said.

Confused more now than he was before, Severus allowed himself to be guided to the stone Gargoyle outside Dumbledore's office.

"Licorice whips," Slughorn said, causing the statue to spring to life and jump aside.

Riding the staircase up to Dumbledore's office, Severus couldn't help but puzzle of the choice of password. A lover of sweets, Dumbledore was notorious for candy related passwords to his abode. Sweets he liked, that is. From what Severus understood, even the whimsical Albus Dumbledore had little love for the taste of licorice. So why choose something so unpleasant for today's password?

Severus's ponderings were cut short when the staircase came to an abrupt halt outside the office door.

Slughorn unceremoniously knocked on the door, drawing a beckoning from within from Dumbledore himself, only much more reserved than usual.

Entering the office, Severus immediately honed in on Dumbledore seated behind his opulent desk, hands steepled in front of him pensively. A student could always tell a summons to Dumbledore's office was serious if he did not get up from his desk. When the news was good, the Headmaster was open, friendly, circling around his desk to shake your hand or inquire on your health. He was a friend in those circumstances, a confidante.

When he didn't rise to greet you, however, was when things were dire. He was reserved and formal, commanding respect without saying a word. . It was in times of severe matters that Dumbledore became your professor, a symbol of authority and order.

Severus also noted that McGonagall stood beside Dumbledore, her face marred with a grave frown. It never boded well for a student to have the headmistress involved as well.

"Severus," Dumbledore began, waving Severus closer with a hand, "How are you?"

"I've been well, Headmaster," Severus said, not making direct eye contact with Dumbledore. He couldn't help worry that this summons had to do with the diadem and diary, two things he would like to keep from Dumbledore's hands until the threat of each of them were diminished.

Dumbledore nodded, "Good. Lemon drop?" he held up one of the candies in the dish on his desk.

"No thank you sir," Severus declined politely, "With all due respect, I don't believe I was called here for pleasantries. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned by the suddenness."

McGonagall tutted quietly, not at all pleased with Severus tone, but for whatever reason she held back from scolded him.

Clearly, the matter was very dire.

"Slughorn has assured me that my mother is safe?" Severus said, looking briefly over his shoulder at his subdued Head of House, "I trust that is true?"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, "You're mother is safe."

"And Lily?" Severus questioned, his mind searching for any reason and anyone who could cause such an early invite to the Headmaster's office. Was Lily alright? He hadn't seen her yet today to be sure, "What about her family?"

Dumbledore raised his hand, silencing Severus's questioning.

"Fine," Dumbledore said, "They are all safe and accounted for."

"Then may I be so bold as to ask what all of this is about?" Severus queried, "Because I was led to believe something awful had happened and I can't fathom what that can be if my friends and family are alright."

Dumbledore chuckled quietly, "It warms my heart to see you have so many who are dear to you, Mr. Snape."

Severus flushed, looking away.

"All will be explained shortly," Dumbledore assured, "We are merely waiting on one more person—" a knock sounded at the door, "And here they are."

The door pushed open slowly and Lily poked her head timidly into the room, accompanied by the Head girl.

"You wanted to see me, Headmaster?" Lily asked nervously. Her eyes landed on Severus and her face morphed into one of complete bewilderment.

"Ms. Evans," Dumbledore greeted kindly, "Do come in. I believe there is a seat next to Mr. Snape available for you." He kindly waved the Head Girl off.

Worriedly, Lily took a seat next to Severus, exchanging a glance with him, searching for answers. As awkward as things had been between them lately, the present matter distracted them from any muddled feelings they may have towards one another, replaced instead by cautious curiosity.

Dumbledore took a deep breath, folding his hands upon his desk.

"I'm afraid I bring you some concerning news," he began gently, "As of one o'clock this morning, there was a reported attack upon a small town in Britain. In Cokeworth."

"Is my family alright?!" Lily asked in a panic, jumping to her feet as Severus simultaneously shouted, "You said everyone was okay!"

Dumbledore held up a hand, "Rest assured, you have not been called here to discuss the passing of a loved one. All of your family is quite safe, Ms. Evans. Your mother as well. Severus."

"Well, what happened?" Lily pushed, turning confused, frantic eyes to her Head of House.

Minerva for her part looked quite conflicted.

"It would appear an attack was orchestrated by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," she said gravely, "By the time the morning papers come in, all of wizarding Britain will know his mark was seen floating over Cokeworth."

"Several muggles were victims of random attacks by Death Eaters in the ensuing chaos," Dumbledore continued for his Headmistress, "Auror's were dispatched quickly to the town, so casualties were a minimum. And of course, your families were not a part of those numbers. Ms. Evans, the wards put in place around your parents' house helped it avoid detection; it seems the Death Eaters came to Cokeworth expecting no magical failsafes in place on a predominantly muggle town."

"The wards Moody and Frank put up," Severus realized.

Dumbledore nodded, "The very same. haThe wards have since been strengthened in the meantime and Aurors will begin patrolling your neighborhood. Should any further cause for alarm arise, we will move your family to a safer location, Ms. Evans."

"What of my mother?" Severus inquired.

Dumbledore's face grew serious, "Your mother is the reason I have called you here, Mr. Snape. It is true she has come to no harm, but we very well feel it was the original intent of the attack."

Severus sat up straighter, "What do you mean."

"It was a fire that alerted authorities," McGonagall cut in, her face fraught with turmoil, "A fire that was clearly magical in origin; it took several hours of Aurors efforts to put out. Without their help, it could have consumed the entire block. As it is, several houses were lost in the blaze."

She looked directly at Severus, her eyes pitying and sad, "Severus, my dear, I'm afraid the source of the flames was your house."

Lily gasped, hands going to her mouth in shock.

Severus sat there stunned.

"It is of my understanding that few are aware your mother no longer resides at Spinner's End, correct?" Dumbledore asked.

Severus nodded dumbly; in any other situation, he would have scoffed at the Headmaster's feigned inquiry. The Headmaster was oblivious funding Eileen's stay in the Women's home in secret.

"Did anyone know of your former residence in Spinner's End, Severus?" Dumbledore asked seriously.

Severus shook his head, "I never liked telling my housemates because some of them didn't know I was halfblood."

"So you told no one?" Dumbledore repeated.

Severus thought about it a moment.

"Wait," he said, recalling something, "Back in second year…Lucius told me before winter break that he would send me a letter over the Holidays. He seemed okay with my blood status at the time, so I didn't see the harm in giving him my address…I trusted him." The card had been a simple well wishing, complete with an enclosed photo of Lucius's grand family festivities, doing little more than to dishearten young Severus to his own dismal holiday.

Slughorn inhaled sharply, his face stricken.

Dumbledore regarded the Potion's Master carefully.

"You've known my suspicions for some time now, Horace," he chided, before turning his attention back to Severus, "Mr. Malfoy is aware you were relocated to a new home under temporary guardianship, Mr. Snape. Presumably he thought your mother was still residing at your old home."

"You think the fire was intended to kill my mother," Severus said dully. It wasn't a question.

Dumbledore nodded gravely, "It would appear that way, yes. Fortunately she was no longer living there, so their plan failed."

"And they think my father was killed by Death Eaters," Severus said speculatively, "That's what everyone's been saying around school. Some think I orchestrated it as revenge for how he treated me," he glanced in Dumbledore's direction.

Dumbledore gave Severus a benign smile, "I assure you, no one present here thinks you would commit Patricide. But evidence does suggest the series of incidences revolving around your family were instigated by You-Know-Who's followers; be it as a warning, or a bribe."

"You actually think they expect Severus to be  _happy_  they've done all this?" Lily asked in horror and outrage.

Dumbledore tilted his head towards Lily, "Gossip and speculation has unfortunately made Severus's circumstances at home general knowledge for some time now, Ms. Evans. Even before Tobias Snape's death, Severus own housemates would be aware of the contention between Severus and his father. It is not out of the realm of possibility that someone thought removing one of his main abusers in life would draw him back to their…oppressive way of thinking."

"What about his mum, then?" Lily challenged, "Why would they think he'd want her dead. He's never said a bad word about her in his life."

"Ah, but there lies the problem," Dumbledore pointed out, "Severus has never mentioned his mother at all to my knowledge, nor to the knowledge of my colleagues."

' _And you've no doubt been spying on me for years,'_  Severus thought crossly, mind still somewhat askew from all the information dropped on him.

"With no real idea the sort of woman Eileen is, those targeting Severus would have to base their beliefs on pure conjecture," Dumbledore carried on, "The fact remains that Eileen was aware, if not compliant to Tobias's actions over the years. It would make sense for one to assume therefore that Severus bared some ill will towards her."

"I don't" Severus said quickly, coming to his mother's defense, "She's as much a victim as me."

Dumbledore nodded, "Of course. Regardless of the reasons for this most recent attack, it is clear someone wishes to send some sort of message to you, Mr. Snape. I'm interested to hear what you think their intention is."

Severus exchanged a look with Lily. A few unspoken words passed between them in that gaze, before Lily nodded in encouragement.

"Back during Christmas," Severus started, "Our friend Thea was invited to dinner by a friend of her parents. The invite came from the Malfoys."

Slughorn ran a hand over his face, shaking his head in disbelief. McGonagall pursed her lips.

Dumbledore meanwhile, listened quite intently.

"The overall discussion of the evening was in regards to a betrothal…Thea's to Rabastan Lestrange," just saying the name made Severus feel like he had swallowed curdled milk.

"Yes, I'm aware of the arrangement between the Mnemosynes and Lestranges," Dumbledore confessed, "A mismatched pair those two would be."

' _You're telling me,'_ Severus thought, thinking of the cruel, leering face of Rabastan, "That's not all though. Thea informed me over the break that prior to leaving that night; Lucius pulled her aside."

"I take it he had a rather clandestine reason for that?" Dumbledore theorized.

Severus shrugged, "Not sure why he needed to be secretive about it; his whole family—through blood or marriage—shares his beliefs. Thea's parents seem to as well. He could have said whatever he wanted in front of them."

Dumbledore nodded, "So what was the knowledge he wishes to impart upon Ms. Thea?"

"A warning," Severus replied, "for me specifically. Apparently I've angered his master."

Slughorn was muttering behind him, wringing his hands.

"Such a charming boy," he muttered, "Could have been great….where'd it go wrong? Another Slytherin Prefect gone wrong…"

Severus couldn't help taking note of that last part. He discreetly looked at Lily out of the corner of his eye; she was clearly thinking the same.

"That's enough Horace," Dumbledore chided softly, "We'll address that at a later time."

Turning his attention back to Severus, Dumbledore beckoned him to continue, "What precisely did young Mr. Malfoy say, Severus."

"Basically that I had a choice," Severus explained, "I can either rejoin them, or…"

"Or?" Dumbledore prompted gently.

Severus shot a glance at Lily, "Or those I care about will suffer."

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose, "And you've known about this since the holidays? I must say, Severus, I'm surprised you didn't come to me."

"Well presumably, students are safe at Hogwarts," Severus said challengingly. Even heated, Severus knew better than to look directly at Dumbledore, avoiding his eyes, "That's what you always assure the papers, isn't it. It's not like any student nearly died in the past year or so and nothing was done about it." The sarcasm was heavy in his voice.

Lily looked nervously at Severus; it wouldn't do to start a fight with Albus Dumbledore.

If Dumbledore register that as a slight against himself, he didn't rise to the bait. However, his gaze took on a slightly sad, remorseful expression.

"Hogwarts is certainly the safest place for you," he agreed, "Every brick of this castle is steeped in old magic, the likes we could never hope to recreate. There is no safer place than this school."

"However," he went on, "that only applies to outside threats. That protection does very little in regards to your fellow classmates, as you are, unfortunately, well aware," he inclined his head to Severus slightly.

Severus only continued to scowl.

"We should arrange escorts," McGonagall came round the desk, placing a hand on both Severus and Lily's chairs, "Prefects to look out for them and ensure they get to class safely."

"Now, Minerva," Dumbledore protested well naturedly, "Ms. Evans here  _is_  a Prefect; one of the most diligent, I might add."

McGonagall huffed, "Still, someone should be looking out for them. If you won't expel that riffraff when they're clearly well in You-Know-Who's pocket—"

"Any expulsion I make would have to be on provable grounds," Dumbledore said, "Not suspicion. If I expel them for merely seeming bad, people would demand a reason."

' _Didn't stop you from threatening to expel me that time with Lupin,'_ Severus thought sourly, "Are you talking about Rosier and his lot?"

McGonagall pointed at Severus triumphantly, "See?  _He's_  their housemate. He'd know better than anyone what they get up to; he's forced to be around them more."

"As I've said, people would protest," Dumbledore reminded everyone, "Rosier and several of his compatriots come from prominent families, they could push for their readmission if I expel them without concrete proof."

"Still," Dumbledore mused, stroking his beard, "They are the most likely to carry out any ill intent on Lucius's part. Perhaps surveillance would be necessary."

Severus did his best to keep the alarm off his face. If Dumbledore had Severus and his friends under supervision, they'd never be able to find out the truth about Riddle.

Coming to his rescue, Lily wisely interjected, "Forgive me, Headmaster, but wouldn't it not be a better solution to follow  _Rosier_  and his friends? Yes, with chaperones,  _we'll_  be safe, but what would keep Rosier from harming other students out of frustration that he cannot reach us as ordered? I'd hate to frolic in safety while other students are at his mercy."

Dumbledore studied Lily carefully, prompting Severus to hold his breath. He prayed Lily remembered to avoid eye contact.

"I'm certainly sure Mr. Rosier would not risk calling undue attention to himself by attacking students at random," Dumbledore said sagely, "But perhaps you are right; if we wish to ensure Mr. Rosier and his group do not pose threat to the school or its students, we need to keep a close eye on them. Perhaps that is a better use of our resources."

Severus resisted breathing a sigh of relief. Problem averted. For now.

"Now," Dumbledore said, "I'm sure both of you are greatly worried for Ms. Evans family and would like to see them. I've arranged for an auror to escort you to Cokeworth for the day to check up on them, if only to assuage your fears. The teachers have been alerted and your classwork will be postponed a day."

"Thank you, sir," Lily said, smile in relief.

"But sir, what about my mother," Severus asked.

Dumbledore smiled, the maddening twinkle in his eyes, "Your mother has been graciously offered a stay at Augusta Longbottom's home until a time when we can find proper residence for her."

Severus blinked, he hadn't expected that, "Thank you, sir."

"Is there anything else," Dumbledore added, as Severus and Lily rose to leave, "You wish to tell me, Severus."

Severus kept his expression cooly blank, neutral.

"No, sir," he said, "Nothing at all."

 

{page break}

 

"I wish I could go with you," Mary said, forlorn, "You need the support."

"My mother wasn't hurt, Mary," Severus assured her, "This isn't a tragic visit, just a wellness check for Lily's folks."

Mary pouted, "Still, you need your friends there with you. It was your home, Severus."

Severus sighed, "It hasn't been home for me in a great many years, Mary."

By the time Severus and Lily made it down to the Great Hall, the school had been near hysteric with the news. The Dark Mark appeared in Cokeworth; the first time it's been seen in months.

Almost immediately upon setting foot in the Great Hall, Lily was swarmed by her housemates in a flurry of tears and inquires to her wellbeing, many acting as if it were Lily herself who'd been attacked. Of course, they paid no mind to Severus, not a one besides Mary and Lupin inquiry about Severus's mother. Severus doubted most of Lily's housemates even bothered to remember Severus lived in the same town as her. Most of them probably were under the assumption he lived in some dark, foreboding dungeon year round or under a bridge, somewhere dark and dank.

Potter, of course was quick to lay on the charm, swooping in to rescue Lily from the hoard of questioning classmates while Sirius played guard. Bringing her over to a very concerned and melodramatic Jess, James played the part of loving boyfriend quite well with his arms wrapped consoling around Jess. All the while though he asked Lily how she was faring, attentively inquiry to her family's health and giving convincing platitudes about how he hoped everyone Lily loved was fine.

Severus begrudgingly admitted—to himself at least—that Potter probably was worried about Lily, but it didn't change that even when the boy was being genuine, he still subconsciously worked the angle of winning Lily over. It was as if it were ingrained into his brain to do so.

Severus didn't have long to dwell on the matter, as no sooner had he reached the Slytherin table, he was set upon by a demanding Simone and near frantic Thea. The taller girl nearly strangled him from her chokehold on the front of his robes as she demanded confirmation that Petunia was alive and well. As soon as Severus had assured the two girls enough to be released, Nesme nearly toppled him to the floor with her embrace, Davis hot on her heels with Mary as they all fired question after question at him.

When Mary managed to extricate Severus from Nesme's arms, he did his best to answer everything he could, but the truth was, they all already knew there was a mark out for Severus and that Lucius didn't make idle threats, so it wasn't like he could give them new information.

"Here," Simone said, thrusting an envelope into Severus's hands, "You give that to Petunia immediately when you arrive. I want to hear back from her straight away."

"Will do," Severus conceded, stuffing the letter in his robes.

"And this," Simone added, holding up a necklace featuring a Phoenix wrapped around a geode, "My mum gave this to me for protection when I travel. Pet needs this more than I do."

Severus pocketed the necklace, "I'll make sure she gets it."

"I hope things are well at home, Severus," Thea said sincerely, "You've both been through so much already."

Nesme nodded, "This was the last thing you needed. You come find us if you ever need to talk, okay?"

Severus smiled crookedly, "I would, but I've already got Marcus for that." He'd probably have to schedule an appointment with him after all this was said and done.

"What do we do while you're gone?" Davis asked suddenly, "You're sort of leading the search on Riddle."

"Shh," Severus shushed, looking around. Casting his silencing spell quickly, he directed his attention to Nesme and Davis.

"You two keep looking for Riddle's record," he instructed, "That records room the Come and Go room made is huge, but he has to be in there somewhere."

He turned to Simone and Thea, "You two go about your day, but act secretive when Potter's watching. I think he and his pals are up to something. Keep them on a wild goose chase if you must so that they don't go looking for Nesme and Davis."

"Got it," Simone agreed.

"What about me?" Mary asked.

"Help them keep Potter distracted," Severus said, pointing at Simone and Thea, "Get his girlfriend worked up about romance or something; she'll be all over Potter and keep him tied up paying attention to her for hours."

"Sev," Lily asked, coming over with a tall, stern faced auror, "Are you ready?"

 

{page break}

 

"So this is all that's left," Severus noted dully.

Before him stood the ashen, dilapidated remains of Severus's childhood home, rendered little more than a smoky husk of charred beams and blackened floorboards.

Aurors still flitted about, disguised in muggle garb and impersonating the fire brigade to steer curious muggles away with a well placed confundus charm every so often.

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an improvement," Severus intoned insipidly, kicking at a smoldering brick at his feet, "At least it smells better."

"Sev," Lily said for lack of anything better to say. She was at a loss. There wasn't much she could say in current circumstances.

Shortly after arriving in Cokeworth, Lily and Severus had been promptly swept up into the embraces of Willow and Hank, the pair nearly squeezing the life out of the two teens in their worry. Even Petunia rushed to greet them, thoroughly shaken; Simone's letter was a comfort to her, but not by much. It wasn't like a few kind words could change that people had tried to kill someone within her own little town and even though they failed at finding their target, they still managed to rob several random passersby's of their lives.

After formality and reassurances were out of the way, it didn't take long for Severus to grow restless. He was dying to find out how bad the damage to his former home was, just how severe the attack had been. Dumbledore said the fire was magical, unable to put out by regular means. An enchanted inferno would mean Lucius words were no idle threat; you had to know what you were doing to summon flames that great. Too easily could they turn on a weak-minded wizard lacking the conviction to do harm.

So enduring some final fussing by Willow, Severus managed to convince the Auror escorting him to bring him to the scene of the fire. Lily quickly insisted upon coming along, adamant she not leave Severus to face this journey alone.

Now they stood in front of a hollowed out carcass of wood and brick still glinting with the occasional warm ember, a reddish glow tinting rotted beams of wood and curling back the remains of matted, dirty carpeting.

One side of the house remained semi-intact; the brick chimney apparently having withstood the fiery onslaught if just barely. The fractured and split wood siding trailed up along the brick structure in jagged pieces, several floorboards from the upper level still hanging on. It gave the remains of the house an overall broken eggshell look.

Other than that, hardly anything remained to indicate Severus every lived there. His room was gone, his parents' bedroom partially consumed by flames, the furniture either barely standing or completely demolished into ashes everywhere you looked.

"I'm sorry, Sev," Lily said sadly, "Did you lose anything important in there?"

Severus shook his head, "Not really; anything of value your dad helped me move out the day you took me in. Everything else was my parents; dishes, furniture, many some old photo albums. Whatever mum didn't take with her to the women's home I guess."

"Then I guess it's fortunate this happened after you both left," Lily murmured, staring at the lopsided chimney, "You didn't lose anything of value."

"I wouldn't go that far," Severus muttered.

"What was that?" Lily questioned, having missed it.

"Nothing," Severus said evasively, "It just…feels unreal. To be frank, it seems strange that the next time I walk past Spinner's End, I won't see this house looming over me. For years, just looking at it from the outside filled me with dread," he wrapped his arms around himself, "I hated walking home to this place every night."

He could still hear the breaking glass, the muffled screams.

"Maybe it's for the best then," Lily suggested, "Better to have this gone and replaced by something new, better even."

Severus looked at Lily, "Best for who, though?" he hadn't meant the question to sound so hostile.

"Well, I'm just saying," Lily began cautiously, "If you had so many bad memories in this house, it's good to get rid of it. Part of moving on, you know."

"Moving on shouldn't mean pretending it never happened," Severus grumbled.

Lily looked at him in confusion, "I don't get it."

Severus sighed, "No offense, Lily, but I wouldn't expect you to understand."

In truth, Lily couldn't. Lily, who's own home was filled of so many happy, homey memories couldn't fathom Severus's own desire to remember this place. In fact, her abundant happiness prevented her from relating to Severus.

To Lily, the worst was best laid forgotten, put behind you so you can heal and grow. It something hurt you, cut it loose and push it from your mind, replace it with something better. It was that mindset that nearly separated them for good last year. Severus had become someone hard to smile around, someone who stirred up more memories of arguing than laughter. Ultimately, Severus wasn't surprised Lily had started subconsciously looking for a way out; it was in her nature to cast aside the unpleasant rather than deal with it.

But Severus wasn't the sort to walk away when things get bad. Call him stubborn, but he was more prone to dig in his heels and remain the harder things became. It was a mark of his own need to prove he could endure anything. He wanted to show that world that even though it turned its back on him, that didn't make him disappear. He still existed, no matter how hard one tried to ignore his presence or cast him out.

The same applied for how he dealt with his father. For years the only thing that kept him going in that hopeless, tragic house was the knowledge that every morning he got up and looked his father in the eye—cut lip, bruised cheek, broken nose and all—his father didn't win. Every effort Severus made to show his scowling face to Tobias was just further proof that the pathetic man couldn't beat his problems away.

Looking at all that remained of his house now, Severus almost felt…insulted. After all the years of suffering and struggling to make it, the very house that stood a testament to his survival was little more than smoldering debris. People would look upon the remains and think what an eyesore it was instead of what terrible things once happened within it's four walls.

To Severus, it was as if his past was erased, the proof of what he endured burned away and disintegrated. Severus wasn't naïve to believe that if he chose to let go of his past he would somehow forget about what he went through. So he'd rather remember it and hold it close as evidence that he was stronger than his father—or anyone—had ever given him credit for; that he hadn't been broken. A part of him wanted others to remember it to; at least as repentance for the number of folks in town who surely suspected the abuse and turned a blind eye.

Now, there was little left to remind anyone of the horror that once resided in the last house on Spinner's End. With Tobias dead in the ground and Eileen off losing what remained of her fragile mind, Severus was the last living proof that his hardships ever existed at all; and he felt slighted by it.

"Sev?" Lily questioned, watching Severus with thinly veiled concern.

"It's nothing," Severus replied, shaking his head. He turned his back on what remained of his old house, "We should go before it gets dark."

Lily followed him, worrying her lip between her teeth.

"Sev," Lily began again, seeming to deliberate over her next words, "About what happened on the train…"

"I'd really rather not talk about that right now," Severus said wearily.

"I know," Lily persisted, "But I have to say….you should know that I'm really very sorry and—"

Severus cut her off, "I know you are. I know you would never hurt me intentionally. But at the moment I don't want to hash out our disagreement."

"But Sev," Lily pushed.

"Please, Lily," Severus said, turning to her with tired, pleading eyes, "I've got a lot on my mind right now with all this," he gestured back at the house, at the scorch marks littering the streets, "Now's not the best time."

Lip bit her lip, "I just wanted you to know— _what's that?"_  Lily's gaze shot past Severus to the alleyway behind him.

Turning around, Severus followed her gaze to a heap of garbage piled up against a dumpster. At first glance the pile was inconspicuous, but upon closer inspection.

"Is that a…hand?" Severus said slowly in growing alarm.

Lily clasped a hand over her mouth.

The Auror that was accompanying them drew his wand.

"Stay here," he barked, signaling over several of the disguised Aurors.

Severus and Lily hung back as the Aurors trudged down the muddy alleyway, wands at the ready.

One of the Aurors kneeled down to the trash pile, prodding it carefully with the tip of her wand. Receiving no reaction, she reached out her hand and slowly pulled back several sheets of wet cardboard.

"We've got a body," she called, shifting the rest of the garbage out of the way. The Auror rolled the body over with little effort, the lifeless form immensely light given its emaciated frame.

A flash of silver on the person's wrist caught Severus's eye; light gleaming off of a soda tab secured by string, "Wait…I know her!" he rushed forward, pushing past the Aurors to reach the dumpster.

"Sev, wait!" Lily called after him, hot on his heels.

Pushing a final Auror aside, Severus gazed down at the body before him.

Blank glassy eyes stared back at Severus from a haggard face, skin too sallow and cracked for the young body it clung to. Dirty brown hair spilled out in snarls and tangled along the ground in a crude halo around the woman's head, several beads and braids woven into random locks.

"It's Gwen," Severus said softly, prompting a gasp from Lily.

"You know the vic?" the head Auror on the scene inquired gruffly.

Severus nodded, "A neighbor. She…lived around here." He wasn't about to divulge the level of poverty Gwen had found herself in during the last ten years of her life. Poverty in the wizarding world was rough, but not an outright sentence to living off bare necessities. Magic could alter a tent into a livable home, moldy bread into a passable meal. Muggles on the other hand were well and truly in the slums when they fell on hard times and it was hard for the magical world not to perceive that as inferiority.

Even the kindest wizards already struggled to keep biased out of their assessment of muggles; many of them would surely fail to not find judgement in a woman on the streets.

"Looks in pretty rough shape," One Auror noted, examining Gwen's malnourished form.

"She always looks like that," Severus corrected, "She didn't tend to eat much…and she's known for her…eccentric tastes in fashion."

"You're telling me," the Auror muttered, eyes sweeping Gwen's rag clad body, "So what's the verdict, Hals."

Hals, a bushy browed Auror with heavy creases in his forehead cleared his throat roughly. Pulling out his wand, he waved it back and forth over Gwen's prone form.

"No signs of a struggle," he noted brusquely, "No blood, can't make out an injury on her," he bent over and peeled back her lips to examine her gums and teeth, "No signs of poison. I'd say she died of shock; must have been right scared when the fire broke out."

A surly, young faced Auror scoffed, arms crossed over his chest.

"That's a load of dragon dung, Hals," he said snidely, "There were Death Eaters all over this place last night. She clearly got hit with the killing curse."

Hals, straightened to his full height, scowling down at the younger Auror, "Trainee Bones, may I remind you that I'm am head of this investigation?"

Bones rolled his eyes, "Then do a better job of it. This has killing curse written all over it."

"She's died smiling," Hals pointed out, gesturing to the dreamily merry grin frozen on Gwen's face, "Who dies smiling at the killing curse?"

"Oh, like smiling through a heart attack is any more feasible?" Bones challenged.

"Such, impertinence!" Hals blustered.

A small cough brought everyone's focus back to the body.

"Not to put a damper on your pissing contest, gents," said the female Auror who uncovered Gwen's body, "But neither of you is correct."

"Oh?" Hals said peevishly, "And what makes you say that Carraway?"

"The fact that the poor girl's been day for over a day and a half," Carraway quipped, waving her wand across the body, "This happened before the fire ever occurred. Completely unrelated, if I wagered a bet."

"Then," Lily started hesitantly, "What killed her?"

Carraway rocked back on her knees besides the body, "I'm not much of an expert on muggles, but I reckon this," she held up an item from the rubbish, "did her in."

The dirty syringe glinted wickedly in the sunlight, the clear glass tube in the middle caked over and smudged with scummy fingerprints.

"If you look closely," Carraway went on, "There's a tiny pinprick of blood on the girl's right arm. I found this too," she held up an empty bottle. Bringing it to her nose, she took a quick whiff.

"Smells like," she took another sniff, "what's that drug muggle use? Morphine? Too much of this would probably put anyone six feet under. She must have nicked it from a clinic somewhere."

Carraway looked pityingly at Gwen's body.

"Poor girl must have wanted to go quick," she said. With surprising gentleness, she reached over and drew Gwen's eyelids down.

Severus hastily backed out of the alleyway as the Aurors gathered to collect Gwen's body.

"Are you okay, Sev," Lily asked compassionately.

Severus sighed, "Define okay."

"I can't say I'm surprised she did it," Severus admitted. He glanced up and down Spinner's End at the grimy windows and rotted shingles on crooked houses, "I can't begin to tell you how many here have probably thought about doing the same."

Lily touched Severus's shoulder, looking sadly into his eyes.

"Most people don't turn out as lucky as I have Lily," Severus told her, "Good people don't come knocking on everyone's door offering to save them. They all have to save themselves here and let me tell you…that harder than you'd expect."

He spared one last glance towards his old home, his past, "Let's get back before your parents worry."

Unsure what to say to ease the heaviness in Severus's heart, Lily simply followed in silence.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...you all still with me?
> 
> I'm sorry if Gwen's death troubled any of you. To me, she represented a very harsh reality of poverty and how it isn't so simple as to 'pick yourself up and brush yourself off'. Not everyone came dig themselves out of a hole; there's nothing wrong with needing help. The trouble lies in the fact that help rarely comes for most of us.
> 
> Severus conflicting feelings over his house are drawn directly from my mother's own thoughts.
> 
> My mother endured what I can only describe as a hellish childhood, as I'm sure many of you have picked up on from other scenes in this story that were inspired by her experiences.
> 
> Her father was a dangerous man who had multiple women in his home despite being married and he abused them all to the point that they would help each other hide the abuse to save him from going to jail, not because they lived him, but because they feared him. He beat his second wife mercilessly while having an affair with her sister, forcing both of them to witness each other's beatings. In turn, his second wife, my mom's stepmother, beat her and emotionally and psychological messed with her to cope with the feeling of powerlessness.
> 
> My mom can recall covering her baby sister's ears to drown out the screaming as they sat on the sidewalk in front of their house (the farthest they were allowed to go because the girls had little freedom), trying to keep her little sister from hearing her mother be beaten an inch within her life.
> 
> My mother remembers her brother accidentally setting himself on fire with their father's gunpowder, receiving second degree burns (made worse by jumping in a chlorinated pool to put the flames out), and instead of being taken straight to the hospital, their father tried to beat him to death as punishment for going through his things. Mom also recalls her brother, after finally going to the hospital, being brought home covered head to toe in bandages and having the mirror placed in his room to face his bed, so that when the bandages came off his eyes, he'd be forced to look at his wounds while bed ridden.
> 
> My grandfather was a monster who's suicide I do not mourn. I only wish he wasn't buried besides his first wife-my biological grandmother-so I could spit on his grave without disrespecting her, one of is earliest victims.
> 
> A few years ago my mother's childhood home burned down in a massive fire. My mother and my aunt traveled to the town they grew up in and stood on the sidewalk outside their old home, their personal house of horrors. Mom told me they had different feelings about it. My aunt, who was honestly spared a great deal of the physical abuse but has PTSD from witnessing how many times her mother was beaten, felt relieved to see the house go. To her it was the end of the nightmare for real, the last shred of evidence that that monster existed wiped from the earth with the dwelling he once ruled with an iron fist.
> 
> To my mother...she told me it was like her suffering was erased, like every secret within those walls died with the house. Mom bares mental scars from her father, those can't be seen by others. That house was, to her, physical proof of what she endured and she wanted it to remain standing as a testament to her survival.
> 
> Sorry for the heavy stuff. This chapter has been brewing in my for months, driven by the need to in someway convey the impact domestic abuse can have.
> 
> Review please.


	67. Breaking Bathrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone has a breaking point, don't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, gang! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all the support last chapter. It was difficult to write that last author's note, but I felt it was necessary to help you all understand the mindset Severus was in is in fact a very natural one for many survivors of abuse. You were all very respectful and kind. You guys are so sweet. 
> 
> Not much to say before this chapter, but heads up, here comes drama

Severus's return to his daily school life was a dreary one. He tried to focus on schoolwork and just navigating the tumultuous time that was being a teenager, but he couldn't stop picturing the smoky crater where his house once stood.

It was honestly never a place he called home; recognizing from his time spent with Lily as a child that 'home' was reserved for a place filled with love and warmth, safety and comfort. Even calling it a dwelling would be giving it too much credit, the term usually used regarding places of peaceful, stable existence, if not outright contentment. 'House' was the best he could call the place he grew up, as that's truly all it was; just four walls and a roof, barely held together by nails, held together even less by familiar affection.

He lost essentially nothing in the fire, having owned very little in the way of earthly possessions before coming to live with Lily's family. In fact, his belongings were so few in number that the small handful of new shirts and pants Willow bought him the first week there actually tripled his wardrobe size.

He'd never told Lily this, but much of the clothes he wore as he got taller were actually his mum's, Tobias being too thick and meaty to fit anything his son fit into. Eileen did her model best to lend Severus the plainest, most non-gendered button-ups she had, but there were subtle indications that they were women's clothes. Things like the buttons going up the wrong side, things like the pockets being decorative instead of functioning. Lily never took notice, but Severus always felt embarrassed dressing in such obviously feminine hand-me downs.

Whatever furniture he'd owned was lost in the fire, a loss Severus hardly felt given how rickety and worthless the collective lot had been to him over the years. He could recall many a splintered finger from his desk and chair, achy joints and a sore back from his poorly contrasted bed frame and it's lumpy, nearly flat mattress. Most of his items were swiped from church tag sales when Tobias was feeling just generous enough to allow Severus an actual bed to sleep in but not generous enough he'd actually pay for it. Severus doubted he'd even miss such poorly assembled junk.

He did mourn the loss of his mother's things. Not knowing what Eileen brought with her to the Women's home or just how much she was allowed in such a cramped place, Severus could only assume most of her things were left behind. Severus felt saddened more by his own loss of those items than for his mother's loss of them. They had been his only connection to his magical heritage for the first ten years of his life, dusty tomes of spells and grimy potions equipment that he clung to with such yearning for a better life away from such simplicity and squalor.

He recalled many lonely afternoons and evenings spent crouched up in the muggy, hot attic pouring over his mother's old textbooks, playing with her Gobstones set and chocolate frog cards, things far too whimsy and silly for the grim-faced woman he knew. Those tattered, old remnants of his mother's previous life were the only thing that kept him truly sane growing up among the riff raff of Spinner's End.

Well, that and Lily, that is.

Still, it was a shame so much of his mother's own history was wiped out in a single night. Disowned by her own parents, it was doubtful Eileen could ever hope to recover the things she lost or find replacements for possessions so sentimental. Tobias took away so much of what made Eileen a witch when they married. Now, his house had claimed the rest of it in a fiery blaze.

Thankfully his mother was at least safe behind strong wards in the Longbottom manor, though she'd have to put up with the likes of Augusta Longbottom. In the letters Frank sent Severus after the fire, he assured Severus that Eileen was settling in wonderfully, having been warmly welcomed and attended to in every way.

Frank did express concerns about Eileen's memory, as Eileen occasionally seemed to come under the impression she was in her childhood home and would question where her mother's garden had gone. Other times she would speak fondly of her husband as though he were still alive, telling those who would listen that they simply must meet him when he arrived.

Severus had impressed upon Frank the delicate nature of his mother's mindset since Tobias was murdered. Already a stubborn woman prior to her husband's passing, Eileen wasn't very likely to openly admit her marriage had been a mistake. Losing Tobias before she could ever divorce him or stand up for herself left her lacking closure, so she wasn't entirely willing to accept he was gone.

Frank promised his family would tread lightly on the subject, though Severus was skeptical as Augusta Longbottom tread about as lightly around controversial conversation as an Erumpent in cement shoes. Severus could only hope her blunt nature would do his mother more good than bad, perhaps finally shake her from her self-imposed stupor to accept that Tobias was never the man she wanted him to be and better off dead.

Severus thought of his mother sitting in Longbottom manor, surrounded by people and yet feeling alone in ways others couldn't understand. He pictured her glazed over expression as she stared off into the distance, imagining a fairy tale romance and married life that never truly existed for her, eyes unseeing and lost.

Much like the lost, empty gaze of another woman Severus knew.

Severus shook his head, trying to dispel the image of Gwen's body from his mind.

They'd never been particularly friends, the age gap just high enough that friendship seemed awkward, but cordial acquaintance they were well enough. Severus respected Gwen's drive and desire to make it on her own, gleaming that her destitution was the result of fleeing a man much like Severus's father.

While not thinking poorly of prostitutes as she sympathized with their plight, Gwen steadfast refused to sell herself to make ends meet. She once confided in Severus that the decision stemmed from the fact that too much of society viewed prostitutes with contempt and poorly concealed judgment. She said she realized this after having noticed storeowners turn away known street workers more often than they turned away beggars, the shop owners claiming 'dirty money' was no good in their establishments. She stood a better chance of survival begging because at least then she knew people would actually accept her money in exchange for basic essentials she needed to get by.

Gwen must have been beautiful in her youth, Severus could tell. With bright, almond shaped eyes and voluminous hair, she was probably a stunner when she was eighteen, though the hardships of life on the street aged her dramatically well before she was out of her twenties. A straight smile replaced by chipped, yellowing teeth, skin worn and cracked like dried out leather. Pianist fingers became gnarled and knobby from carpal tunnel and meticulous labor to construct the various wares she sold.

Severus meant it when he said he wasn't surprised that Gwen chose to end her life. As happy a façade as she tried to maintain, no one was made of stone. There was no way Gwen wasn't bothered by the life she was forced to live, by the clawing cold and aching hunger. Staying up each night to protect herself from men with ill intent searching for vulnerable, sleeping homeless, it must have taken quite the toll on Gwen over the years. Each and every time a full shelter turned her away and a church closed its doors to her—even in a blizzard, for Merlin's sake—she must have been painfully reminded just how cruel humanity can be as it toted a mindset that ruefully cried 'I help those who help themselves'.

This world had little pity or mercy for those who truly struggled. Gwen must have grown tired of it all. Severus couldn't blame her.

Severus thought back to those first few days after Lily ended their friendship. He recalled how devastated he felt, how agonized. The mere thought of returning to Spinners End without Lily's sweet smile as a reprieve washed him in cold dread.

He'd considered it then, if for only a moment. He'd considered how easy it would be to just turn his wand on himself…maybe swallow a potion and slip off to sleep for good. The very thought of Lily leaving his life honestly felt like being robbed of all that made life worth living, as he had no one else. It would have been all so easy. But in the end…he couldn't do it. Call it cowardice, or maybe pure rationale, but he couldn't bring himself to end it all. Perhaps he was saved by his own stubborn need to survive even when he wasn't wanted.

He briefly wondered where Gwen would be buried. Lacking a loving family, the town would be left to handle her remains, but it was doubtful they'd waste much funding on a funeral or even a proper headstone.

Severus pushed it from his mind; Gwen didn't leave this world wanting people to feel sorry for her. She'd be mad if she thought Severus was wasting his time grieving her, bothered that she caused him pain.

He understood her reasoning, and though he didn't agree, it was too late to hold it against her when she was long gone.

"Sev," Mary called, drawing Severus from his musings, "Potions is over."

She stood next to his and Lily's table, waiting patiently for him to pack up his things.

Severus nodded distractedly, feigning Mary's sake, "Right. Sort of zoned out for a minute there."

"Thinking about your mum?" Mary asked sympathetically, a frown creasing her lips.

"Yeah," Severus said; it was partially true anyway, "Just hoping she's doing well."

"Frank and Alice will be there often to look after her, Severus," Lily jumped in, helping Severus put away his potions equipment before Mary could offer to do so; she'd been jumping to help him an awful lot lately, "You know how lovely they are, they'll make her feel right at home."

Severus stood up, bringing his vial of completed work to Slughorn's desk.

"It's more her mental state that worries me," Severus said when he returned to his desk, "You both saw the last letter Frank sent. She had a bad dream and wandered the hall, looking for her mum. That's not normal."

"She must miss her parents an awful lot," Mary said pityingly as they entered the hallway, "Maybe what she really needs is help from them."

Severus shook his head, "She was disowned, remember? Her family was against her marrying a muggle."

"Well that muggle's dead now," Lily pointed out, "Maybe the disownment only applied to the actual time they were married."

"Doubtful," Severus dismissed, "Blood purity disputes rarely have such technicalities. If someone turns against family tradition; they're out for good. Beside, I'm not sure how null and void my grandparents would consider the marriage when it produced me. I'm pretty permanent a result of that union."

"Still, it couldn't hurt to look into," Mary joined in, "It must be awful to be banished from your own family. After all she's been through, maybe her parents would feel compassionate enough to let her come home."

"You say that as if there's a guarantee any of the Princes are still alive," Severus pointed out, "No one's heard of them in years. From what I understand, they were recluses. You only ever knew they were still around and kicking when a new member of the line enrolled in Hogwarts."

"Besides," Severus went on, "Why would I want my mum to go back to people who would only care about her existence after Tobias is dead. If they couldn't care about mum's well-being while she was married to that rotten bastard, I don't think I'd want them around her at all."

"But perhaps they've changed," Lily suggested, "Or maybe not all her family feels the way her parents did. If we found a more lenient, open minded relative of the Prince line, Eileen could be well cared for."

Severus looked skeptically at Lily, "Don't you think if any such person existed, they'd have contacted me or my mum by now? A few papers have listed my mum's maiden name in some of their articles about me. It's not like they'd have no idea we're alive."

"Just consider it," Lily insisted, "Look, send out a few letters. If any of the Princes still live, an owl will surely find them. Let's see if anyone writes back. What could it hurt?"

"My pride," Severus drawled, "Perhaps my dignity."

Mary giggled.

Lily stared Severus down, her hands on her hips.

Finally, Severus sighed, "Fine. I'll try to contact them. Not like they'll write back anyway."

Lily smiled, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

"On a lighter note," Mary suggested, "Sev, would you like to come with me this weekend to Hogsmeade? Since we couldn't hang out on Monday?"

Severus looked at her, puzzled, "What? What was so special about Monday?"

Mary frowned, a little saddened by Severus's response.

"The day your house burned down…Monday was Valentine's day," she explained, downcast, "You and Lily spent the whole day in Cokeworth, so you missed celebrating the holiday with me."

Lily looked away, the pleased smile fighting to spread across her face going unnoticed by the pair.

"Oh," Severus said, surprised. He honestly hadn't thought much of the date when he woke up that day. The news about his house honestly pushed everything else from his mind. He and Lily essentially spent all of Valentine's day together.

' _No wonder Potter's been in a foul mood all week,'_ he realized. He smirked inwardly.

"That's why I figured we could spend the day together on Saturday," Mary went on, oblivious to how quickly that wiped the smile from Lily's face, "Just the two of us. We can window shop, grab a bite to eat, maybe come back and sit by the lake."

"Uh…" Severus mumbled, at a lost seeing Mary's hopeful expression, "I'm going to be working on the diary more that day since I haven't had time all week."

Mary lowered her eyes in disappointment, "Oh…"

"But," Severus added hurriedly, not wanting to hurt her feelings, "We could hang out maybe late afternoon for a bit…possibly."

He caught the disapproval in Lily's eyes and gave her an exasperated look of his own.

' _What would you have me do?'_  he wanted to say.

"That would be nice," Mary said, perking up instantly, "I can bring us a snack from the kitchen. It'll be like a little picnic."

"Great," Severus said unconvincingly. He was at least thankful Mary wasn't calling it a date, though he knew Mary clearly hoped the time spent together would start to win him over.

Severus resisted a sigh; why were so many things in his life getting so complicated?

 

{page break}

 

"Any luck?" Severus asked Nesme and Davis when everyone met back in the bathroom on Saturday.

Nesme grinned, presenting a musty, old folder, "Total success," she declared.

"Well, not a complete success," Davis corrected, taking the folder from Nesme. He turned it on it's side and shook it lightly, prompting several tiny bits of paper to rain out, "Moths got to some of it."

"But we still were able to gleam some information from it," Nesme said, snatching the folder back, "Took a quite a bit of time to find it, but our efforts paid off."

"Let's see it then," Severus said, holding his hand out for the folder.

Placing it down on the rim of a sink—currently one of the only dry surfaces in Myrtle's bathroom—Severus opened it to the first page.

"See there," Nesme pointed, "Hogwarts lists his mother's name as Merope Riddle, nee Gaunt. And the father's name is Tom Riddle Senior."

"Gaunt," Simone mused, "Where have I heard that name before?"

"It does sound vaguely familiar," Thea agreed, "Wasn't there a crazy family that went by that name?"

Simone nodded, recognition lighting up her eyes, "Oh yeah, a whole inbred lot. Madder than hatters. Last I heard they all died out," she looked down at the file, "Turns out one survived."

"As far as we know," Severus pointed out, "We still have no idea if this man is even still alive."

"Anyway," Nesme butted in impatiently, "The trail on the Gaunt family goes cold; nothing we looked up could provide any information on them other than a man named Morfin who died in prison."

"Which makes it surprising that Merope is in this file," Davis added, "Hogwarts itself most likely makes the magical records for students containing their birth parents. But I digress. We did a little research on Tom's father, Tom senior and  _that_  actually garnered some interesting results."

Severus raised a brow, "Do tell."

Davis tapped Tom senior's name in the folder, "Well clearly, Riddle isn't a wizard name from what we could find. So we went looking for muggles with that surname and not only did we find a Riddle family with a Tom Senior, but that family is well known for one key reason."

Lily leaned in, intrigued, "What reason is that?"

"Murder," Davis said seriously, "Apparently all three members of the family were found dead in their home in Little Hangleton."

"And that's what Morfin Gaunt was left to rot in Azkaban for!" Nesme jumped in excitedly.

Simone looked to Severus, "Another murder our dear friend Tom has a connection to. This time he's a relative of both the victims and the supposed killer. What do you make of that?"

"I think given Tom's likelihood of having framed Hagrid for murder, he very well could have done the same to Morfin."

Nesme clapped her hands, "That's exactly what I was thinking."

"Tom's looking less and less trustworthy," Mary announced, "Glad he isn't in school with us."

"In a way he is," Severus muttered as Thea pulled out the diary, "That thing is nothing but bad news."

"Any luck with that so far?" Davis asked.

Severus shook his head as he took the diary from Thea, "None whatsoever. It's too risky to ask him about the diadem; if this book is still somehow connected to him we don't need him knowing what we know. When we ask him about himself, he talks quite casually about his school years. His grades and his favorite classes, etc, real mundane things."

"He's clearly trying to paint himself as an upstanding person," Davis surmised.

"Obviously," Severus agreed.

"We decided to ask him about the Chamber of Secrets," Simone revealed, "Said we heard rumors that the murder was connected to that. He told us the Chamber had been opened. Blamed it all on Hagrid."

"While from what I understand," Severus joined in, "The claims about the Chamber were brushed off as a prank to stir up more hysteria. Not even Hagrid believed the Chamber had been opened."

"And yet Riddle is pretty confident it was," Lily summed up nicely, "That's a little telling. I really wish you guys wouldn't talk to that thing though, Sev."

"It was only once or twice," Severus assured her, "Trust me, it wasn't something I wanted to do, but we're out of leads. At least we were, before we got this folder," he gestured to the folder laid out on the sink.

A wet plop sounded over by the doorway, making everyone freeze.

"Did you hear that?" Simone asked warily.

Severus nodded, "Think it means anything?"

"There's no one there," Lily pointed out, "Maybe Myrtle is messing around somewhere. I think we would have seen someone if it were anyone else."

"True," Severus conceded, "Unless they had a certain cloak…"

He glared at the doorway suspiciously.

"Sev?" Lily asked worriedly.

Severus shook his head, "It's nothing, I'm sure. But we can never be too careful. Let's put the file away for now."

Nesme shrunk the folder down and stashed it in her pocket.

"In the meantime, I'm not entirely sure there's much else we can get out of this thing," Severus said, holding up the diary, "Frankly it's too risky to have around at all."

"So what do you propose we do with it?" Simone asked.

"There's one thing we haven't tried," Severus said, drawing his wand, "Destroying it."

Simone raised a brow, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but last thing we tried to destroy couldn't be destroyed."

Severus shrugged, "Still worth a shot."

Level his wand at the diary, Severus took a deep breath, "Incendi—"

"Now!" shouted an unpleasantly familiar voice.

"I knew it!" Severus cried triumphantly, right before a stunner flew past him.

"Fox in the hen house," Simone declared, whipping out her wand. A het of light shot over her shoulder as she dropped low to the ground.

In a matter of seconds the room was awash with an array of colorful flashing lights. Severus and his friends fired off all sorts of spells into every direction, while spells came from an unseen assailant moving rapidly about the room.

"Split up," came Black's voice, just as he seemingly appeared out of thin air.

Severus ducked another stunner, crouching by the sink.

"Find the cloak," he ordered, "The others are under it."

"What cloak?" Simone called, firing hexes from her and Thea's cover behind a stall.

"Potter's got an invisibility cloak!" Severus shouted.

Simone's eyes went wide, "The rotten bugger!" Incensed she cast a strong wind charm, sending everyone's robes whipping around their legs.

Potter and a cowering Pettigrew came into view as the cloak was blown off.

"Found you," Simone crowed victoriously.

James cursed loudly, sending off a round of hexes and jinxes.

"James, are you out of your bloody mind?" Lily questioned, leaning out from her cover to block a stunner aimed at Nesme.

"You'll understand later, Evans," James assured her, slashing his wand at Severus.

Mary waved her wand at Peter, cursing when the timid boy managed to narrowly to jump out of the way.

Black managed to blast off a faucet, sending water flying everywhere.

Outside, the commotion began to draw a crowd. Curious and nosey students stood on tiptoe to peer over each other into the bathroom, none brave enough to enter.

"I'm getting a teacher!" One third year cried, darting off down the hall.

Inside the bathroom, chaos reigned.

A stray spell hit the window, sending shattered glass everywhere.

Davis used a door to block a hex from Sirius, the wood splintering.

"What kind of spells are you using, Black?" he exclaimed.

"He's up to no good, Evans," James shouted over the din, gesturing at Severus, "I don't know what he's been telling you, but he's clearly using you. And his Slytherin pals here are in on it."

"You're daft, Potter," Simone scoffed, "Still painting people with a biased brush." She blocked a spell headed Thea's way and turned fiery eyes on Pettigrew, "How…dare….you."

"It was just a stunner," Peter simpered in fear, "I wasn't trying to hurt her."

"You sneaky little rat," Simone said angrily, "I'll teach you to attack someone when her back is turned!" She waved her wand at the sinks, sending a jet of water shooting at Peter, knocking him down with a yelp.

"Leave him alone," Sirius demanded, "Not his fault you lot are all wrong in the head."

"The only one wrong here is you, Black," Lily yelled, hitting Sirius with a tripping jinx. She immediately ran over to him.

"Incarerous," she chanted, binding Sirius thoroughly.

James looked at Lily in shock and dismay, "Evans, what are you doing?"

"Enough is enough, James," Lily said angrily, "Put your wand down."

James eyed Lily's wand warily.

"I don't want to have to hex you, Evans," he implored.

"Then don't make me fight you," Lily stated, "Drop your wand."

James stared at Lily, conflicted. His wand hand wavered.

That was all the opening Severus needed. He jumped away from the sink, shouting, "Expelliarmus!"

"Hey!" James's wand flew out of his hand.

Severus caught James's wand and glared at the boy, "Call this checkmate, Potter," he spat.

James glowered at Severus. Looking between the Slytherin and Lily, James grit his teeth.

"It's over, Potter," Severus said, "Consider this fight over."

James growled, "It's not over until I say it's over."

James lunged towards Severus, only for a hand to snag his collar and jerk him back.

"Oh, it's over," Remus said humorlessly.

"R-Remus," Peter squeaked, "What are you doing here?"

"A student came and got me," Remus said crossly, "Said that some madmen were tearing apart the Girl's room."

He surveyed the damaged with disapproval, "Seems they weren't kidding."

"Listening, Remus," Sirius said when the binding spell was lifted off him, "We were only trying to—"

"What were you thinking?" Remus cut Sirius off, turning to him, "Sweet Merlin, Sirius, you guys almost destroyed the entire bathroom."

"Hey, they threw some spells too," James defended.

"Yes," Remus said, turning a withering glare on James, "But who fired first?"

James said nothing.

"Thought so," Remus remarked dryly.

"Remus," Sirius tried again, "You've got it all wrong. We were only trying to prevent Snivellous from doing something bad. He's been sneaking around all year, you know, and now he's got this book and—"

"So you've been spying on him?" Remus interjected, "All this time? And after you promised me you were done with this." Spying a parchment roll sticking out of James's pocket, Remus snatched it up.

"I should have known you couldn't resist spying on him," he said despairingly, "You just can't help yourselves can you?"

"Is that a map?" Simone asked disbelievingly.

"That's how he knows where I am all the time?" Severus roared, outraged.

Lily looked equally appalled, "That's a complete invasion of privacy, James!"

"You don't understand," James pleaded to both Lily and Remus.

"No, you don't understand," Remus snapped, "Apparently your word means nothing to you, and the same goes for respecting my wishes."

"Remus," Sirius said feebly, reaching for Remus's shoulder.

Remus shook him off, "No. You don't get it. I told you I wanted this fighting to end. After everything that happened at the end of fifth year, I wanted this all to stop. I'm sick of you two going out of your way to hurt Snape. And I'm sick you expecting me to let you get away with it."

"Well, what's Snape been doing in here so often?" James challenged, "It's the girl's bathroom, isn't. What has he been up to?"

"Visiting Myrtle!" Remus cried, "I introduced them, and Nesme knows her too. They visit her so that she won't be lonely."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Don't tell me you actually believe that crap."

"It doesn't matter what I believe," Remus said hotly, "What matters is what I know and that is this: you don't care what I say, you don't care what I think, and you don't care how I feel."

Sirius reached for Remus again, "…Moony, that's not true…"

Remus batted his hands away, "But it is. I'm sick of making excuses for you. I knew I was crazy to forgive you after the Whomping Willow, but I did. Now you're right back to messing with Snape as though that whole incident never happened and I realize you clearly don't take what almost happened seriously."

"Of course I do," Sirius insisted.

"No you don't" Remus shouted, "Do you have any idea how that made me feel? How sick to my stomach I was to think what I could have done? You nearly made me do the one thing I would never wish upon anyone and even that isn't enough to make you realize you've taken this stupid rivalry too far. I mean, you still call it a prank gone too far. A  _prank!_  Since when was gambling with people's lives funny?!"

"That's not what I meant by it," Sirius denied.

Remus held up a hand, "Don't. Just don't. I'm tired of your excuses."

He sighed, "It was stupid of me to think I could trust you after that. And yet I did, and here I am, hurt, but somehow completely unsurprised."

"Moony," Sirius said.

"I'm done," Remus announced, his eyes swimming with tears, "I've tried for so long to rationalize your behavior, come up with a reason it isn't as bad as it seems. Why I ever thought things would be different after the Whomping Willow, I don't know."

Sirius looked at Remus in broken shock.

Severus stared at the scene unfolding before him uncomfortably. It was…strange to watch a friendship fall apart from the outside perspective. It should have caused him nothing but satisfaction to see the Marauders disbanded, but instead it was a hollow victory. Perhaps he pictured it involving a lot more yelling and less of Lupin looking so miserably small.

"I think we've seen enough," Simone whispered to the others, "Let's just get our things and go. The professors can talk to us about our side of this fight later."

"It was self-defense, anyway," Thea added, casting a worried, unsure look at Remus, before gathering her things, "They can't really hold that against us…wait, where's the diary—hey!"

Peter kneeled in the corner with the diary in his hands. At Thea's exclamation, he slammed the book shut in alarm, looking at the Slytherin girl with wide, fearful eyes.

"Give me that," Thea cried defensively, snatching the book from his hands, "It's very rude to look through other people's things."

'I wasn't reading it," Peter defended weakly, hands raised in placation, "It was already open on the floor…I didn't want it to get wet." He gestured to the rapidly growing puddle of water around them all.

"Trying to save the enemy's property? Perhaps I hit him with that water jet too hard," Simone muttered out the side of her mouth. Sparing Peter one final glare, she ushered Thea away.

"I wasn't stealing it," Peter called out lamely, "Honest…"

"Sev," Mary called out, "Lily, are you two coming?"

"Yeah," Lily replied hesitantly glancing between Remus and his friends in concern, "I'll go report to a professor what happened." She cast a wary glance at Remus as she left.

Severus stood there a moment longer, watching the silent standoff between the four Marauders, a teary-eyed Remus on one side, and a very sad Sirius, remorseful James, and a worried Pettigrew on the other.

Saying nothing, Severus placed James's wand on the sink and walked out of the bathroom, unable to shake the sinking feeling in his stomach.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all knew this fallout was coming, right? I mean, they've been sneaking around Remus back this whole time to try and get Severus.
> 
> I wanted to really express the bottle up betrayal I imagine Remus is probably still feeling over the shrieking shack incident. Sure, in canon he forgave Sirius, but how much of that was real forgiveness and how much of it was him caving out of loneliness and preferring to have a shitty friend over no friend? Sirius referred to the event as a prank well into adulthood, demonstrating his own lack of ability to grasp just how much he endangered Remus and betrayed him by using his condition as a joke. Remus greatest fear (aside from the moon) is subjecting someone else to the curse, or worse killing them. For Sirius to ignore that just to settle a petty rivalry shows how little he gave Remus's feelings and well-being a thought. Considering Lycanthropy was Rowling's allegory for Aids, it would be like Sirius injecting Remus's blood into someone else, not only making Remus responsible for infecting someone, but also risking outing Remus for having Aids. I can't truly picture Remus ever fully getting over Sirius so effectively disregarding his safety and using him in such a way. 
> 
> So I figure 16 year old Remus would still feel sort of raw about what happened and finding out that Sirius and James are STILL targeting Severus after not only nearly killing him but also being requested by Remus to leave the boy alone would be the last straw for Remus. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Review please.


	68. After the Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the great Marauder break-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!
> 
> Okay so as usual I thank you all for your reviews, but I'm too excited to focus on it because I have wonderful news!
> 
> I'M A LICENSED DRIVER!
> 
> That may not seem like a big deal for some of you, so here's some context: I'm 29. I have suffered for years from severe anxiety and depression. Like, majorly so. It is so severe that for the past six years, I have been unable to get behind the wheel of a car without a panic attack. I never bothered learning to drive in high school because my father died my junior year and coping with that sort of took priority. Then in College, I lived on campus in a populated main street, so everything was in walking distance (and parking for campus was hell so most of us didn't bother with cars).
> 
> After graduation, I began my struggle to learn to drive but unexpectedly developed an irrational phobia of driving or even riding in the car. I started to become quite hysterical in a vehicle and terrified on highways. I didn't feel in control of the car while driving. I felt out of control, the car outweighed me, how could a little steering wheel keep it in line?
> 
> So for years I have struggled with this, failing every road test and further ruining my confidence. It has greatly limited my way of life, carpooling with my mother greatly restricting my job opportunities and leaving me stuck with a minimum wage, part time job because I can't go too far from my mother's job if we share a car (since I couldn't drive alone on just a learner's permit).
> 
> Then for some reason, it changed this year. I can't explain where the confidence came from, but suddenly I felt more assured of myself and my abilities. It could be that driving a bigger car made me feel like I had a better vantage point on the road and that I would better survive a crash. Either way, I finally passed my test!
> 
> So yeah, I'm over the moon with that right now, hard to think of much else. But I do appreciate everyone's reviews from the last chapter.

* * *

True to the gossip in any school, word spread fast: the Marauders were on the outs. The 'Bathroom Brawl' between three-fourths of the infamous quartet and Severus Snape's diverse group of companions managed to acquire quite a number of witnesses and most were keen to recount the tale to anyone who would listen.

Many would recall the odd falling out the four boys had the previous year mid-way through second term. While James was reveling in the heroism of saving Snape from some perceived threat—though precisely what the school may never know—out by the Whomping Willow, Lupin had cast himself out from the group for quite some time. It lessened the satisfaction felt by Potter and Black to see their merry fourth so distant with them. All was right and well again eventually though, so the Marauders resumed their antics once again inseparable.

This time though, it seemed the severance may be for good.

Though all who bore witness to the fight were unclear on the actual cause—something about not trusting Snape; no surprise given the hostility between him and Potter—the general understanding was that it somehow broke some sort of promise. From what anyone could gather, Lupin apparently marked Snape off limits at the beginning of the school year and implored his friends to swear they'd do the same.

Unsurprisingly, Potter and Black could not resist a good fight and finally incited one at random in the bathroom—at least that's what word around the halls consisted of. No one had any idea why Snape and his gang were in the abandoned bathroom, but considering it was a whole group, it provided little scandal to gossip over. If it had been Snape and Lily Evans  _alone_  in the bathroom, or even that Davis fellow and Nesme, the subject would be entirely too titillating to pass up. A group of friends just…hanging around a bathroom came off more boring and weird than saucy and intriguing.

Thus the real scandal was the falling out of Gryffindor's dream team. When a fight was started by Potter, Black, and Pettigrew—though the latter hardly anyone counted since he was merely a tagalong—it apparently was the final nail in the vampires coffin for Lupin. In what many recounted as a tearful, heart rendering display, Lupin severed ties with his friends, specifically Potter and Black, citing their total lack of disregard for their promise as evidence of how little they cared for or respected Lupin.

Danica Patrice, vapid fourth year gossipmonger, claimed it to be the most moving and sorrowful display she'd seen since the all goblin rendition of  _'The Hag and the Goatkeeper._ '

While Snape and his friends turned themselves in and abashedly endured the finger wagging of McGonagall and the other House Heads, Lupin swore off friendship with his long time companions before pushing his way through the clamoring crowd of onlookers and fleeing in tears. What followed was a rather unseemly display of brother turned against brother as Black lashed out at Potter.

Black reportedly blamed Potter for the entire mess due to his unending rivalry with Snape. In the ensuing argument he brought forth several other occasions in the past year were they had tracked, followed, and outright stalked Snape solely on Potter's orders, though many dispute the validity of such a claim since Black was not one to follow orders. If Black was party to any plan against Snape, it was due to his own desire to suspect and target the guy.

Many witnesses claimed Sirius stated he and his friends targeted the reformed Slytherin due to Potter's jealousy over the latter's closeness with Lily Evans. This however, was dismissed as nonsense by many as anyone with eyes could see Jessica and James were the new 'It' couple—and anyone who did believe the rumors were loudly berated by Jess and Meldonna for their apparent idiocy.

Either way, Black was quick to lay the blame at Potter's feet for the dissolving of their friendship with Lupin. For whatever reason, he took losing Lupin's camaraderie worst than his friends. As most saw Potter and Black thick as thieves while Lupin and Pettigrew came off as little more than sidekicks, no one could fathom why Lupin turning his back on the Marauders would be such a heavy blow to Black. Regardless, the boy blamed Potter.

Not one to be accused of wrongdoing under any circumstances, James did not take the turn of events very well at all. He turned the tables on Black, citing the boy's tendency to go after Snape harder than the rest of them, in doing so alluding that unknown danger Potter rescued Snape from the previous year at the Whomping Willow was somehow the result of Black's machinations to begin with. That little reveal did not sit well with Black in the slightest.

By the time the screaming and finger pointing was broken up by McGonagall—still furious from chewing out Snape's group for their shared destruction of the bathroom—Potter and Black had severed ties as well, leaving the Marauders group in shambles.

Since then the once inseparably friends were little more than strangers in the halls. Upturned noses were exchanged in passing between Potter and Black, desperate longing and cold indifference between Black and Lupin, and Pettigrew stuck in the middle of it all desperately trying to remain friends with both of his groups enigmatic leaders while trying to salvage any sort of friendship with Lupin.

Severus would love to say that the recent turn of events made him the happiest man on earth, but he'd be lying if he did. For some odd reason, the Marauders disbanding didn't bring Severus the joy he thought it would. He should be thanking the heavens, cheering through a bullhorn, proclaiming to the world his elation over the insufferable gits' misery…but instead he felt hollow.

There was a time where the thought of Potter and his friends miserable and lonely would put a smile on Severus face. After the werewolf incident that had Severus sworn to silence, the only consolation Severus found in the indignity of his situation was that Potter and his friends had become divide. Of course that failed to last as Severus hoped it would. Ever since the day the wretched gaggle of buffoons reconciled Severus had been praying for something, anything really, to come along and break them up for good.

Now he had exactly what he wanted and the victory tasted bland and unappealing.

It truly made no sense. He'd watched the foundation of Potter and Black's friendship crumble and give way beneath their feat, watched reality humble them with the figurative slap in the face they so rightly deserved. But it brought him no happiness, only a weird—and in his opinion misplaced—sense of guilt.

Perhaps it was that Potter and Black being at odds with one another came at the expense of Lupin's feelings. Severus was begrudged to admit he'd gotten along fairly decently with the unfortunate lycanthrope since their visit over the summer. He wouldn't necessarily called the boy a friend, but cordial acquaintances fit rather nicely. As hard as it was to let go of hard feelings in regards to Lupin's complacency to his friend's cruel antics, Severus would be hard pressed to say he hated the boy now.

If anything, Severus felt an underlying sense of pity towards Lupin. Despite his infuriating cowardice in the face of his friends over the years, there was the overpowering sadness to Lupin's situation now that Severus looked closely. You couldn't argue that Lupin's plight was a harsh one, being cursed with a condition that yielded so little happiness for its suffers. He certainly didn't ask for the life he led no more than Severus had his. Given how pitiful Lupin's circumstances truly were, seeing him fighting back tears was discomforting to say the least. It was as if looking at a kicked puppy, though given the nature of Lupin's affliction one could argue that comparison demeaning.

So yes, Lupin's hurt feelings might be what put a damper on Severus reveling in the Marauders end. He'd feel better if Potter and Black had simply turned on one another and Lupin had simply spent his time flitting between the two to maintain both friendships. Surely such go between would prove tiresome—if Pettigrew's efforts to do so were any indication—but at least then Lupin wouldn't be the one who got hurt.

Hell, if Lupin had just up and said, "You know what? I can do better than friends like them," and ditch them it would be a better alternative to the crying, broken display Severus witnessed in the bathroom.

Of course, with little else for true companionship in his life—not entirely anyone's fault but his own since Lupin pushed people away from discovering his furry little problem—Lupin was quickly adopted by Snape's group. Lily and Thea, bleeding hearts through and through, wasted little time in consoling Lupin for his brave choice, hoping to ease the poor boy's broken spirit. It changed little dynamic in their group with how easy going most of Severus's friends were.

Davis remained cautious around Lupin, not fully willing to welcome the boy into their fold given his previous ties to Potter and Black. However, he could be persuaded to play chess with Lupin or work on assignments together, his studious nature winning out over most grudges.

Nesme never turned down the friendship of anyone, it turned out, provided they were kind and friendly. Chances are, she could even befriend Potter, but probably only if the latter was truly very sorry and promised to never do a mean spirited thing ever again.

Lily and Mary, having the closest ties to Lupin as fellow Gryffidors, had no trouble whatsoever making Lupin feel welcomed. Already friends to a degree with him beforehand, the girls acted as they always had with Lupin, though with more inclusion to their various past times and hang outs.

Severus had heard about the thorough tongue-lashing Thea had given Lupin for his culpability in the Marauders mistreatment of others—particularly Severus—so it came as a surprise to him that Thea was so open to befriending Lupin. Despite her initial disdain, Thea easily buried the hatchet out of respect for Lupin taking a stand against his friends. The quiet girl made it her priority to involve Lupin in any given activity she and her friends enjoyed, from Gobstones, to study sessions. She took to inviting him to eat at the Hufflepuff table with her and Nesme whenever possible and regularly reached out to him to ensure he never felt lonely.

Of course, Lupin wasn't included in anything related to their research on Riddle and his cursed trinkets. Severus still maintained that it was better to involve as few people as possible.

Simone for her part accepted Lupin as their newest addition, but it was apparent her acceptance came begrudgingly. She certainly took some sort of issue with Thea spending so much time with Lupin.

Pettigrew frequently stopped by to make small talk with Lupin in an effort to rebuild the broken trust. Lupin bore little contempt for the watery-eyed boy given that he had no say one way or another over attacking Severus. While their exchanges were frosty at present, it was possible Lupin might eventually reform some sort of friendship with Pettigrew.

It was for this reason that the others tolerated the boy's presence, though their suspicion didn't wane after seeing him with the diary, convinced he really had intended to swipe it on Potter's orders.

Apart from Simone, Severus was the only person to have a difficult time with Lupin's inclusion. He didn't hate the boy anymore and truthfully they had a lot in common academically, but it was odd to interact with someone knowing that they have essentially witnessed or played part in some of your most miserable experiences at school.

The blame rested squarely on Potter and Black's shoulders for the most part, but you couldn't deny that Lupin could have spoken out against them sooner. In addition, Severus knew that Lupin had found some amusement in Severus's torment, if only because he had biasedly assumed his friends' claims about Severus alignment to evil to be true. It would be hard to let go of the past. Severus supposed he couldn't truly fault Lupin for that last part, considering  _everyone_  from the other three Houses seemed to paint Slytherin with the same brush.

It was just  _weird_  having Lupin as part of the gang. Weirder still was having Lupin, even in his wallowing self-pity, was showing concern for Severus over his house burning down. It was odd enough of a feeling to have people Severus cared for showing him concern in the face of their own troubles; his own parents rarely managed to shake themselves out of their self-absorb sorrows to even ask about Severus's day.

That lack of awareness for others made it awkward for Severus to accept Lily's worry and doting when he awoke at St. Mungos; she'd forgone acknowledging her own hardships at the hands of Avery in order to care for her oldest friend.

Severus was still growing used to the concept of familiar care and nurturing. Having parental figures like Hank and Willow in his life to look after him even when they were having a bad day was still nearly foreign to him. And they were his caretakers. It was even stranger to have Lupin do it when for someone hardly even a friend.

So Lupin inquiring to have Severus was—how he was coping, was his mother alright, etc—felt surreal and frankly uncomfortable when one factored in the near constant tired and red eyes Lupin sported lately. Severus wanted to yell, "Quit asking after me and worry about yourself!" because it was honestly becoming unnerving.

"Sev," Someone prodded Severus with a finger, "Sev are you listening?"

Severus glanced up from the book he was pretending to read. He'd started off with real intent when he sat down in the library with the book, but wandering thoughts about how peculiar his life had become left him rereading the same line over and over without taking any information in.

"What was that?" Severus asked, turning to the person who called for his attention.

Mary frowned, a bit of a pout forming on her face, "So you  _weren't_  listening."

"Sorry," Severus apologized, closing his book, "I've got a lot on my mind."

Mary nodded in understanding, "Well that's sort of what I was trying to talk to you about. I know things are tough for you right now, what with all the drama that's sprung up concerning your home…"

Wasn't that the truth. Aside from gossip about the Marauders, word of Severus's house burning down spread, ironically, like a wildfire. According to Mary, the day Severus left for home, all anyone could talk about was the arson. Many brought their copies of the  _Daily Prophet_  into class, the haunting image of the Dark Mark swirling in the clouds of a photo on the front page.

"So I was wondering," Mary continued, drawing Severus from his thoughts, "If you had sent any letters out? You know, to your relatives?"

Severus sighed, "I have, thought I hardly expect to hear anything back. I sent one of the school owls out days ago; I said Prince Manor and it seemed to understand what I meant. Took off like it knew where it was heading, anyway. Still, don't get your hopes up; I doubt my grandparents are dying to hear from me."

"You're related to the Princes?" Lupin asked, surprised, "My dad says they're a reclusive bunch, especially since their daughter ran off."

Severus eyed Lupin warily.

"That daughter is my mother," he said stiffly.

Further surprise spread across Lupin's face, edged with a hint of embarrassment, "Oh, I didn't know."

"I hardly would expect you to," Severus replied, "I only really used my mother's pureblood title around my Housemates. Not that it matters; I'm not an acknowledge member of the house of Prince anyway. You sort of lose that birthright when you're half muggle."

Lupin blinked, "Oh, so they're  _those_  kind of folks. Sorry, Severus."

Severus shrugged, not committing to a response.

"So…" Lupin said hesitantly, "You don't think they'll write you back?"

"It's unlikely," Severus said,not even sure why he was sharing this with Lupin. Maybe he enjoyed how uncomfortable it apparently made the other boy, "They disowned my mum for marrying a muggle. It seems farfetched that they would want anything to do with the product of that union."

"But you don't know that for sure," Mary interjected, "Maybe they've changed over the years. People change."

Severus snorted, "Yes, but changing usually comes with some sort of effort to show others that you have. They've never reached out to me or my mum. If their stance on mixed marriages were any different, I suspect they would have sought us out by now."

"Besides," Severus went on, "They hated muggles, or at the very least thought they didn't belong as part of our world. I don't particularly want to face them knowing they've heard how awful Tobias was and thinking it proves their prejudice right."

Lupin winced, "Yeah, can't say I blame you for wanting to avoid that."

Mary frowned again, eyes fixed on Severus, "So what, if they respond you're going to ignore them?"

Severus shrugged, "I never said that. But if you think I won't be reading between the lines of whatever polished little correspondence they send back—if they send anything at all—you're mad. Purebloods never say exactly what's on their mind, whether in public or on parchment. It's all about subtext and connotations. Whatever they send back—once again, if they write at all—is not going to be what they mean, good or bad."

Mary rolled her eyes, "You know, not everyone is sneaky and distant like your housemates. I imagine people with less biased views of those around them are more forth coming on their feelings, regardless of their 'refined' upbringing. Look at my House; all the purebloods there say whatever is on their mind."

"And remain uncouth and uncultured for it," Severus quipped.

Lupin chuckled, "Yeah, Gryffindors are a rowdy bunch, but that's part of our appeal. Life of the party, James always said—" Lupin cut himself off abruptly, instantly disheartened by the name that passed his lips.

"You okay, Remus?" Mary asked gently.

Lupin nodded, shoulders slumping, "…yeah. It's just more difficult than I thought. I never realized just how much my life revolved around those guys. Can't even reminisce about good times without every memory being somehow connected to them; they were the good times."

"Well you can make new memories," Severus said offhandedly, "Ones that aren't dependent upon them for your happiness. No man is an island, but no man is hive; you have to find things in life about yourself that can make you happy from time to time. You can't rely on others to be the sole reason you get up in the morning."

"What Sev is trying to say," Mary said, giving Severus a scolding glance for his harshness, "Is that it's important to have friends, but you need to be able to like yourself too. Some of who you are comes from yourself, not other people. What you liked about James and the others was that they made you feel good about yourself. But you have to do that on your own too."

"Not quiet the direction I was going," Severus said casually, "I just meant he should work on being an individual instead of one of Potter's sheep."

Mary thwacked Severus with a rolled up parchment.

"You are terrible at advice," she declared.

"I'd like to think I'm practical," Severus said in turn.

Mary continued to frown at him, while Severus pretended to be very interested in figuring out what sort of wood grain the table was made out of.

After a few minutes, Lupin laughed softly, "You two seem to be getting along well."

Mary beamed, "We just fit, don't we?" she looped her arm with Severus's squeezing tightly.

Lupin smiled, "I'll be honest, I never imagined you two would ever be friends, let alone so close."

"It's funny how things work out, isn't it?" Mary sighed dreamily, "To think I never would have known what a nice person Sev was if I'd actually listened to Jess and Mel."

"If you don't mind me asking," Severus spoke up suddenly, "Why didn't you?"

Mary shrugged one shoulder, "Honestly, I didn't really want to get sucked into all the drama. Everyone seemed to get so wrapped up in house rivalries and I thought it took the fun out of everything. Think about it: All you ever see from Gryffindor is red, red red. People get so up in arms if you wear the color of a different house, but my favorite color is blue! Now I can't wear my best sweater on the day of a Quidditch game or I get accuse of supporting the wrong team? Ridiculous."

"House politics," Lupin snickered, "It'll drive you mad."

Mary huffed, "Tell me about it. Anyway, I never bought into the whole idea that our house determines everything about us. I don't actually have much in common with most of the girls in my dorm aside from Lily, and yet supposedly we're all the exemplary traits of Gryffidor. Seems like a poorly concealed way of tricking students into behaving better; by setting up hatreds between houses so you'll always want to outshine them and be a better student to show them up."

"A tactful concept," Severus mused, "Though flawed in design. If they had simply arranged the points system by year rather than house, there could be unity and still a motivation for students to improve themselves. It's sort of weird how every year Dumbledore talks about harmony between the houses and yet still instates an archaic system designed to pit the house against one another.

"Totally barmy, right?" Mary asked.

Severus nodded, "Indeed."

"I guess I also never got caught up on hating you like the others because," Mary looked down, "Well, I guess I felt Lily was capable of making her own choices. If she saw some good in you, what did I gain by siding with the others and trying to force her to see differently? I was pretty neutral about you. I wanted to be a good friend to Lily because I could see how much it bothered her to be constantly picked at by others for her choice."

"Well…thanks for standing by her," Severus gave Mary a genuine smile. He couldn't help but wonder if Mary's unwillingness to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else and hate him had somehow helped Lily not write him off for good that day. Sure, Simone's words had an impact on Lily, but if she hadn't already been questioning her decision to end things, she probably wouldn't have put as much weight in what Simone had to say.

Walking back to a dorm of people who had already made up their mind on Severus would be like an echo chamber for Lily: all a bunch of biased idiots telling her over and over that she was right and he was awful, better off cast aside and forgotten. Maybe Mary's lack of commitment to the hate made it easier for Lily to question what she really wanted instead of what she thought she needed to hear.

Before Severus could dwell on it any longer, a hand slammed down on their table, drawing a glare from Pince on the otherside of the room.

Marlene loomed over the trio, one hand on her hip.

"Have you guys seen Peter," she asked in lieu of a greeting, "I've looked for him everywhere."

Lupin shook his head, a sad look on his face, "I haven't really been speaking to him much. Though, he does still try from time to time."

"He does miss you, you know," Marlene said. Her tone of voice seemed to indicate she wasn't entirely pleased with Lupin giving Pettigrew the cold shoulder, "Freeze out the other two idiots, sure, but Peter isn't actually responsible for their actions."

"Still he could have told me they were up to something," Lupin insisted.

"And what? Get Potter's next line of pranks be all on him?" Marlene scowled. She shook her head, "Whatever, I'm not here to argue. Point is, Peter was supposed to come watch me at Quidditch practice, but I can't seem to find him. Practice is in ten minutes and I'd really like him to be there."

"He could be hiding in his dorm," Severus suggested, "I don't exactly think he'd be keen on watching Potter and Black try and knock each other off their brooms out of spite."

"He's not going to be there for them, he'll be there for me," Marlene said firmly, arms crossed over her chest.

"Maybe he's in one of the boy's bathrooms," Mary theorized.

"Already looked," at the blank stares she got, Marlene raised an eyebrow, "What? You lot always go in the girl's loo."

"Yes, but we're not doing it with the intent to drag someone out with their pants around their ankles," Severus drawled.

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Look, I'm going to check out the pitch. If you see Peter, send him my way." She stormed off.

"He's in the kitchen," Lupin admitted after Marlene was gone, "That's where he always goes when he's sad."

"Why didn't you tell her then?" Severus asked.

"Because it's where he goes to be alone," Lupin explained, "I doubt he wants a girl to see him moping. I may not be friends with him, but that doesn't mean I am going to give away his secrets."

Severus cocked a brow, "Admirable sentiments. I suppose I can appreciate your respect for other's privacy even after they've disrespected you. My own housemates took my severing of ties with them rather poorly and I imagine if they had any of my secrets, would not be so kind as to guard them. Though, I can't help but wonder if your kindness is simply because your former friends have much greater secrets about you that you'd like kept."

Lupin glared at Severus, "That's not why I'm doing this. I may not trust those guys to actually listen to what I have to say, but I do trust their principals on…delicate subjects." His eyes darted cautiously over to Mary.

Mary tilted her head, "Wait…secrets…" she snapped her fingers, "So you are a werewolf?"

Lupin practically flew across the table to clamp a hand over Mary's mouth, shushing her while sending surreptitious glances around the library.

Severus quickly waved his wand, Muffliato descending over them.

"Okay, first off," Severus began, looking to Mary in suspicion, "How, in Salazar's name, do you know that?"

Mary batted Lupin's hand away with a huff.

"Lily used to tell me you had this 'ridiculous theory' about Remus," she explained, making quotation marks with her hands, "When you two had a particularly bad argument, she'd usually come and vent to me. That was one of the topics that came up," Mary shrugged, "I honestly thought you were just barmy at first, but then I started paying attention to the moon and things  _did_  seem to match. Still, I figure it could be a coincidence; I mean it wasn't like I had any reason to believe Dumbledore was breaking the law to smuggle someone into school."

"Plus," she added with a wry smile, "Remus here may have said more than he should when letting Potter and Black have it. I'm sure most people have no clue in the slightest what you meant, Remus, but I couldn't help but wonder what Black could have possible done at the Whomping Willow to endanger Sev that would somehow get you in trouble. As far as I had been led to believe, you and Pettigrew were supposedly inside when Potter went to stop Black."

Lupin flushed, mortified that he gave so much away in the heat of his anger.

Mary grinned, "So it got me thinking…what connection could you have to a prank you weren't apart of that would somehow make you the greatest perpetrator if Sev had actually gotten hurt…during a full moon no less?"

"H-how," Lupin stammered, "How would you even remember what part of the moon cycle it was? It's been almost a year since it happened."

Mary jerked a thumb at Severus, "This one here had Lily in quite the tizzy when she heard he'd been by the Willow. Her biggest issue was that he was out at night. She still didn't think Sev's theory about you could hold water, but she did believe the rumors of werewolves being in the Forbidden Forest. She was raving for hours about how reckless it was for Sev to go 'gallivanting around' on a full moon by himself."

Severus scoffed, "It was hardly like I was taking a leisurely stroll. Black lured me!"

"And you, despite knowing what you did, went out fully expecting to see proof of a full grown werewolf," Mary pointed out, head in her hand, "I'm baffled as to why you thought that was a good idea. You knew exactly what you would find…yet you still went down there alone."

It was Severus's turn to flush, "I-I wanted proof. Black was goading me, mocking me. I wanted evidence once and for all."

"Sirius should have been more considerate," Lupin mumbled, "Given that you could have been killed and I'd have to live with that for the rest of my life. If I wasn't put down by the ministry."

"I'm sure Dumbledore would have covered my death up to protect you," Severus said sourly.

Lupin gawked at him, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Severus blinked, "Doesn't it?"

"No!"

"Anyway," Mary cut in, "The point is I've had my suspicions for a little while now and you two have just confirmed it."

Lupin shrunk down in his chair, abashed.

Severus crossed his arms, "To be fair, I neither confirmed nor denied it. Lupin filled in the blanks."

Mary cuffed him, "Regardless, I was going to say that it doesn't bother me what Remus is. It's not like I'm ever going to be wandering alone under a full moon, unlike  _some people._ "

Severus grumbled, looking away.

"Your secret's safe with me, Remus," Mary assured her friend with a kind smile, "I wouldn't rat out a friend."

Lupin relaxed marginally, "Thanks, Mary."

"I take it Lily already knows?" Mary inquired.

"I know what?" Lily asked, plopping down beside Severus, "Sorry I'm late, got caught in a conversation with Jess."

"Which was enthralling, I'm sure," Mary drawled in a very convincing impression of Severus.

Lily grinned, nudging Severus in the ribs with her elbow, "Stop rubbing off on her. Anyway, what's this about things I know?"

Severus breathed out a short laughed, "Well, you've missed an interesting conversation," he began, proceeding to fill Lily in to the amusement of her friends.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you have noticed, I find it very hard to believe that only James, Sirius, Peter, and Hermione ever discovered Lupin's condition. Seriously, he's gone every full moon and the school teaches Astronomy! Don't some of those classes, considering they take place at night, occur during full moons? You mean to tell me no other classmates of his ever noticed the absences, never questioned the growing injuries on his person upon his return? And as much as I love Snape, he's spiteful as all hell. He definitely was telling other people besides Lily about his theory. So others would have had to have heard about the rumor of Lupin's ailment and started to get curious about the coincidence of it landing on full moons.
> 
> Well, review if you would be so kind :)


	69. Startling Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little detention leads to a big, bad discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!
> 
> Thanks for all the congratulations on my driver's license. I'm finally experiencing some real freedom in my life and you know what? I actually look forward to opportunities to drive now. I used to dread it.
> 
> Anyway, glad to hear the wonderful feedback as usual. People are weighing in on their opinions of Remus's complicity in his friends actions and how much of that was fear or selfishness. It's pretty interesting to hear your thoughts about it.
> 
> Here's some bathroom antics.

* * *

"Sorry for all the trouble, Myrtle," Thea apologized yet again, dipping her sponge into a puddle on the floor and ringing it out over a bucket.

Myrtle crossed her arms, the epitome of petulant teenager.

"You should be," she sniffed, "Here I've been nothing but kind to you lot and you get my bathroom, my  _home_ , destroyed. I should think you should be groveling more."

"Oh come off it, Myrtle," Simone snapped, scrubbing a scorch mark out of the wall with her toothbrush, "How were we supposed to know those louts were going to come in here and wreck the place? Most of this damage is there doing, not ours."

A displeased hum came from the doorway.

"That still doesn't explain why the lot of you were traipsing about the girl's loo," McGonagall said as she supervised the detention, "Alone. With several boys to boot."

"but just two, though," Simone defended.

McGonagall was not impressed.

Simone gave a sheepish grin to her teacher, "I know that looked bad, Professor, but I promise we were just talking. Honest," she added, seeing the skeptical expression on her professor's face.

McGonagall raised a thin eyebrow, "I hardly think the bathroom is an appropriately place to hold a conversation."

Simone waved her hand dismissively, "Are you kidding? The bathroom is the perfect place to talk. So quiet and private. Me and Thea get all our best talking done in the loo, don't we, Thea?"

"Don't drag me into this," Thea said, focusing on cleaning up the water around her.

Simone sighed, returning to her scrubbing, "This is would be a lot easier with magic."

"If it were easy, it wouldn't be a punishment," McGonagall quipped.

Simone rolled her eyes, thankfully facing away from her professor, "Yeah, but we've been at it for days. This would have been done ages ago if we could use magic. Instead, it's taking forever and no one can use the loo here. Snape and Evans have cleaned, Nesme's cleaned. MacDonald…Davis…"

"All of whom helped in destroying the bathroom," McGonagall said, "And therefore in just as much trouble."

"A great deal of trouble," Myrtle added angrily.

Simone held her hands up, "Technically, we didn't destroy anything. Black was firing the real explosive stuff. I just deflected it…into the wall," she eyed the segment of crumbled stonework off to her left.

"Which will take Professor Flitwick quite a bit of time to repair," McGonagall said with a hint of irritation, "All because you lot were so reckless."

Simone huffed, "Again, it was self-defense. Potter and his cronies started the whole thing. Shouldn't they be here doing this?"

"I assure you, Mister Filch has been overseeing their evening tasks of re-grouting the tiles," McGonagall pointedly informed Simone, "By hand."

"Well, that's at least something," Simone muttered, ignoring Thea's attempts to hush her, "Seems a little unfair that Lupin is left out of this. He was there too."

"Oh hush," Thea chided, "Remus wasn't a part of the fight. Besides, he's got enough to deal with after breaking up with his friends."

"Oh boo-hoo," Simone said mockingly, "He finally ditched people who were toxic to him. How awful."

Thea glared at Simone, unimpressed.

"Why are you so defensive of him anyway?" Simone asked, side eyeing Thea, "I thought you didn't like the guy. You chewed him out and everything."

"Just because I disliked his past complicity in his ex-friends' actions doesn't mean I hate him," Thea said simply, "He deserves a second chance just as much as anyone else. If he's going to try to make up for his past choices, who am I to hold it against him?"

Simone eyed Thea suspiciously, "Still…you're spending an awful lot of time with him lately."

"He's lonely," Thea defended, "Why are you so bothered by it?"

"Because he's a Maurader," Simone said.

Thea rolled her eyes, "Former Maurader."

Simone scoffed, "Yeah, let's see how long that lasts—"

"Girls," McGonagall admonished, "This is a detention. There is no time to be chattering like a pair of babbling baboons."

"Excuse me," Nesme called out, sidling past McGonagall into the bathroom, "I may be Hufflepuff, but let me just  _slither-in_ ," she grinned broadly at everyone.

"That…was terrible," Simone said bluntly.

"For once, we can agree on something, Miss Serapeum," McGonagall said before turning to the new arrival, "Dear, you may go work on the flooding over by that corner. I think I see the beginning of mold springing up from the damp."

Nesme saluted her, the hand she snapped to her head firmly clutching an old toothbrush, "Aye-aye, Professor!"

"And I certainly hope that isn't Mister Filch's toothbrush," McGonagall warned sternly, "I won't have a repeat of last time."

"I solemnly swear this is not his toothbrush," Nesme said seriously.

"…is it a classmates?" McGonagall asked.

"…I solemnly swear there this isn't Filch's toothbrush," Nesme repeated.

McGonagall sighed, pulling a hair clip from Nesme's hair. Waving her wand, she transfigured it into a toothbrush.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked tiredly.

Nesme grinned, "Cherish me forever for my bubbly personality?"

McGonagall stared at her and deadpanned, "Clearly, Pomona doesn't keep a good enough eye on you."

"Not to belabor a point," Simone said casually, watching Nesme skip to her assigned corner, "But some of this mildew and mold was here  _before_  the fight. This bathroom is wet most of the time; Myrtle's constantly flooding the bathroom out of spite."

"I do not," Myrtle denied, stamping her foot in midair.

"Do too," Simone shot back.

"Do not," Myrtle fumed, "The plumbing's faulty."

Simone rolled her eyes again.

"Right," she drawled, "Regardless, my point is that most of this mess wasn't even caused by us; be it faulty plumbing," she spared Myrtle a skeptical glance, "Or something else. But it wasn't us."

"Well then consider your work here an extra service to the school," McGonagall replied with a slight smirk.

"Service to the school," Simone groused, "Oh yes, what heroes are we."

Thea muffled her laughter with her hand.

"Yeah," Nesme giggled, "What, are they going to give us a special plaque like Tom Riddle?"

"Nesme," Simone hissed warningly. She chanced a peek in McGonagall's direction to find her eying them curiously.

"Riddle?" McGonagall asked, "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Just some supposedly incredible prefect, Ma'am," Simone lied, "Nesme found an award of his in the trophy room. I think he left school before you attended, judging by the date on it."

"Riddle," McGonagall repeated again, tapping a finger to her lips, "Hm…oh, that's right. I remember that award. It was quite an honor to receive I imagine."

"Why  _did_  he receive it, Professor?" Simone inquired, feigning ignorance. She was curious to see how much McGonagall knew.

"Well he prevented the school from clos—" McGonagall paused, catching herself, "There was an incident back before I attended Hogwarts. Some students were…injured."

"Injured, Professor?" Simone acted worried, "Was it serious?"

McGonagall nodded, "Quite serious, but nothing the Professors couldn't handle," she looked at the girls, "There is no place safer than Hogwarts, I assure you."

Simone and Thea shared a look.

"Anyway," McGonagall went on, "Mr. Riddle was apparently quite helpful in putting things to right and as such was rewarded for his dedication to the school."

"Wow," Simone whistled, "He sounds like a real outstanding guy."

McGonagall nodded, "Quite so."

The sound of footsteps came down the hall, prompting McGonagall to poke her head outside of the bathroom.

"No running, Miss Weiss," she scolded.

"Professor," Tiffany Weiss, a second year Gryffindor came to stand panting before her Head of House, "Professor Flitwick ask me to find you. Peeves got into Mister Filch's office. He's throwing confiscated dungbombs at people in the library."

McGonagall pursed her lips like she'd swallowed a lemon, "That ill-mannered little fiend. Girls," she looked back at Simone and her friends, "You three will remain here until I return. You are to keep cleaning; this is not an opportunity to slack off. Those floors better be sparkling by the time I get back."

McGonagall strode from the loo, muttering about the peskiness of poltergeist under her breath.

Once McGonagall and Weiss were out of earshot, Simone turned to the others, "We all caught that, right?"

Thea nodded, "Professor McGonagall knows about the Chamber of Secrets. And she obviously believes it was more than mere rumors. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been so cagey about it. If it really were just hearsay caused by a gossiping student, she would have said so. Instead, she steered around the subject entirely."

"And she believes the stories that Riddle saved the day," Simone finished, "Meaning Dumbledore hasn't shared his suspicions with her. She one of his most trusted confidantes; why would Slughorn be let in on the secret and not her?"

Nesme raised her hand, "Ooh, I know! Maybe Dumbledore didn't tell Slughorn. Maybe…maybe he found out something about Riddle on his own."

"Slughorn was teaching back when Riddle was a student here," Simone said contemplatively, "Riddle was in the Slug Club, so Slughorn probably spent a lot of time with him. Nesme, I think you're right…he must have found out something on his own. That's why he knows not to trust Riddle."

"Meanwhile the rest of the staff is relatively knew and Dumbledore continues to feed them the story of Tom's supposed heroism," Thea added.

"What's all this about Tom Riddle?"

The three girls jumped, looking up with a start to find Myrtle floating over them.

"Myrtle," Simone breathed, hand on her chest, "I'd forgotten you were here."

"Of course you would," Myrtle sniffed, "Who would ever remember Moaning Myrtle."

"Hang on," Thea cried out, eager to stop Myrtle's ensuing tears before things got off track, "Myrtle, you knew Tom Riddle?"

Myrtle crossed her arms, "Of course I did. We went to school together."

"How would you say he was as a person?" Simone asked curiously.

Myrtle shrugged, "He was alright I supposed. Smart, well liked…handsome," she let out a little sigh, "The very sort of boy who'd never notice me. Why are you all so interested in him?"

Simone and Thea looked at each other warily.

"Myrtle," Thea began hesitantly, "You do realize Riddle is credited with having supposedly caught your killer…?"

Myrtle blinked, "What?"

"He accused another student of releasing a creature in the school," Simone explained, "He got an award in honor of the school and everything."

"I always figured it was the Headmaster that put a stop to the attacks," Myrtle admitted, "They stopped after I died. Who'd he say did it?"

"Hagrid," Nesme replied.

"Hagrid?" Myrtle frowned, "That tall, friendly boy? That can't be right…granted we didn't really know each other, but he was always nice to me. He wouldn't hurt anyone."

"That's how we see it too," Simone said, "But Riddle was convinced Hagrid was responsible, at least indirectly. Hagrid had a pet spider of …the exotic variety. Riddle claimed it got loose and killed you."

Myrtle's face got deadly serious.

"It wasn't a spider," she said her expression severe, "I'm terrified of those things; I would have noticed all those beady little eyes looking at me. Trust me, if it had been a spider in this bathroom, they would have found my body much sooner, because I would have been screaming with my final breaths."

She floated closer to the girls.

"That thing had two eyes," she whispered ominously, "Great big, yellow ones. They were bigger than my head, I'm sure of it."

"Well rumor has it, Riddle claims he saw the spider leaving the bathroom," Simone lied, unwilling to reveal Riddle himself had said it through his diary.

"Then Riddle was lying," Myrtle insisted, crossing her arms and turning away stubborn, "It was no spider. It had two eyes only, and I died the instant I saw them. Nothing bit me."

"She looked at it and she died?" Nesme questioned quietly, looking at Simone, "Why do I feel like I've heard that somewhere?"

"Shh," Simone raised a finger to her lips, "We'll figure that out later."

"How dare Riddle lie like that," Myrtle glowered, working herself up the more she thought about it, "If he had seen something leave the bathroom, why'd it take hours for them to find me? Why would he lie about what happened? It get some glory off of my death? The nerve! If that smug, arrogant, sweet talking little jerk was here, I'd—wait," Myrtle paused, "That voice…"

"What voice?" Simone asked, cocking a brow.

Myrtle turned back to them, "The voice I heard that night in the bathroom. It was a boys; that's the reason I came out of the stall," she looked Simone in the eye, "I think it was his voice."

"Are you sure Myrtle?" Simone asked gently, "You need to be absolutely sure—"

"I'm positive," Myrtle declared, "I hadn't given it much thought before; the voice was the least of my concerns after I died. I-I was more preoccupied with the eyes I saw. They still terrify me."

Nesme tugged at Simone's sleeve, "You guys, I'm telling you, something about the eye thing sounds familiar."

"Hush," Simone admonished.

Myrtle continued, unnoticing of the interruption, "That voice, if I concentrate hard enough, I'm positive it was his. Sounded like him at least."

"But how can you be sure?" Thea asked.

Myrtle shook her head, lost in thought, "He had a certain way of talking. Smooth…syrupy even. Girls used to say he sounded richer than chocolate, whatever that means. He was always speaking softly, slowly. It's part of what people thought was so suave and charming about him."

"Well," Thea prompted, "what did he say?"

Myrtle waved her off, "I told you before, it was total gibberish. I couldn't make out a word of it."

"Nothing though?" Nesme pressed, "Surely something stood out."

Myrtle shook her head again, "It was all made up sounds. Sounds and stuff. Honestly, it sounded more like hissing than talking in some parts."

"Hissing," Simone said disbelievingly, "Like a snake?"

Myrtle nodded, "Now that you mention it, yes."

Simone chuckled, "So Riddle thought he could talk to snakes. There's hasn't been a Parselmouth in ages. And he's muggle, what are the odds of him having that ability. Ridiculous, eh, Nesme?….Nesme?"

Simone turned questioningly to her friend, only to find the Hufflepuff's face rapidly draining of color, "Nesme?"

"I have to go," Nesme said quietly, "We have to go." She threw down her cleaning supplies, grabbing hold of her friends' arms and frantically tugged them towards the door.

"Nesme, what's gotten into you?" Simone asked in confusion, barely managing to side step the bucket of water Thea had been working with.

The three became wedged in the doorway as Nesme tried to drag them all through, the Hufflepuff dislodging herself and stumbling into the hallway.

"Nesme, just tell us what's wrong?" Thea pleaded in alarm.

Nesme merely shook her head, her face devoid of color.

"Girls," McGonagall cried, surprise and disapproval on her face, "What on earth are you all doing out here?"

"Feelin' sick," Nesme croaked out, "They're taking me to the hospital wing," she latched onto Simone and Thea by the arms again and took off down the hall.

"I hardly think that requires both of them," McGonagall called out after them, but they were already well on their way.

"Nesme, you're starting to freak us out," Simone said, "Just tell us what's wrong."

" _I'm_  wrong," Nesme answered, "At least I really, really hope I am. Please, let me be wrong!"

Simone and Thea exchanged worried glances and allowed themselves to be dragged through the castle.

To their surprise, Nesme dragged them past the kitchens and into the Hufflepuff dorms, sprinting past housemates who raised a curious eye at the pair of Slytherins but otherwise offered little objections.

Once they reached Nesme's dorm room, the girl released her friends and shot straight to her school trunk, throwing open the lid with little fanfare and driving inside, rummaging loudly and frantically through its contents.

"Where is it?" Nesme wondered aloud, a hint of desperation to her voice, "Where'd I put it."

"Nesme, just tell us what is going on!" Simone demanded, hands on her hips, "You're scaring Thea."

Nesme finally found what she was looking for, pulling back from the trunk with an indiscernible look on her face. Turning around, she showed her friends a well-worn copy of  _'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'_.

"It's my favorite book," Nesme explained softly, looking back and forth between her friends, "I like animals. I must have read this book cover to cover so many times now."

"There was something Myrtle said that struck me funny," Nesme went on, her lower lip trembling, "I knew I'd heard it somewhere before."

She flipped the book open, flipping quickly through the pages. Landing on one page in particular, her eyes ran over it rapidly before stilling, a look of sorrowful resignation upon her face.

"I knew it," she whispered, "The killing with a look...the boy hissing…Why Hagrid's pet Aragog was so afraid back then…"

"You talking in circles," Simone scolded, "Tell us what's going on."

"They can live for over 900 hundred years," Nesme's voice quaked, "If this is what killed Myrtle, it's still alive."

"What's still alive?" Simone asked in exasperation.

"You should know, Simone," Nesme said, "You tried to hatch one once."

She turned the book around to her friends.

There, splayed across the yellowing, dogged eared parchment was a frightening image of a massive, scaly serpent.

"A basilisk," Nesme said hoarsely, "It's a basilisk in the chamber…"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUN!
> 
> This is another thing I find a little odd wasn't figured out sooner in canon. I get that Basilisks hadn't been spotted in ages, like, anywhere, but still, the roosters turning up dead when roosters are the only thing that can kill it? Thousands of tiny spiders all over the school leaving in noticeable droves everywhere you look? The fact that Salazar was said to be a parselmouth and his very symbol was a fucking snake?!
> 
> Seriously, I get that Hermione is supposed to be extraordinarily smart, but some of the things she discovered that were supposed to be due to her cleverness were thing others probably could have uncovered with just a teeny bit more thought. I mean come on people, the creature is listed in one of the very books required for school. You mean to tell me only Hermione could figure that shit out? Hell, several professors should have put two and two together after learning roosters were turning up strangled, spiders were fleeing, etc. I guess Professor Snape was too busy glowering about being snubbed for the DADA position yet again to apply any of his own DADA know-how to figure it out.
> 
> I find it odd Myrtle doesn't seem to recall Riddle when she found the diary (or rather, Ginny threw it at her in an effort to get rid of it). She went to school with him and as one of the most popular head boys of his time, reportedly quite handsome, I think a boy crazy girl like Myrtle would probably have known who he was just for being 'dreamy.'
> 
> Given Dumbledore's penchant for keeping all his cards hidden until the end of the game, I doubt he told any of his professors the truth about Riddle's supposed heroism when the Chamber was first opened. He most likely would want as few people to know Riddle's true identity as possible, as being the only one in the know gave him an edge on Riddle, made him seem more formidable to Voldemort.
> 
> Review everybody!


	70. The More the Merrier, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another monkey gets added to the works. Not the wrench, the whole monkey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Did you miss me?
> 
> ...no?
> 
> Anyway, it's good to be back. As usual I adored all your reviews and feedback. You know you're awesome; you don't need me to tell you that.
> 
> So...now the truth is out...well, some of it anyway. They still haven't cracked the case of Tom Riddle. Not fully.
> 
> Must be killing some of you how slow it's taking them to figure it out, huh? *evil laugh*
> 
> On with the show!

* * *

Everyone sat around the far table in the most secluded part of the library. The tension in the air was palpable, as thick and cloying as rancid milk. No one said a word, simply staring dumbfounded into space, letting Nesme's unpleasant news sink in.

Finally, Severus broke the silence.

"So," he began, "Things may have become more complicated."

Simone snorted, "An understatement, wouldn't you say?"

Severus glared, "What do you want me to say? That we're all royally fucked?"

"You'd at least be being honest if you did," Simone drawled.

"We have to tell Dumbledore," Lily interjected, "I know we were against his involvement before, but a Basilisk may be a bit more than the seven of us can handle."

This brought forth a round of protests.

"Evans, do you have any idea what the Headmaster would do if he found out that thing was in the school?" Simone asked.

"He'd shut Hogwarts down," Davis stated, "If not him than the board of Governors would as soon as they caught wind of it. Who knows when this place would reopen?"

"That's if they were allowed to reopen at all," Thea added, "I doubt many parents of muggleborn children would want their kids attending a school quite literally founded on a blood purist's mission to wipe out all muggleborns. Plenty of purebloods would be afraid to send their children here too because of how dangerous it would be."

Severus rolled his eyes.

"You're all acting on the assumption Dumbledore would even care about the dangers enough to report or act on it," he drawled, "Need I remind you of the various ways Dumbledore has willfully put students in danger? Let's review: there's the Werewolf he allows to attend school—the student themselves admittedly harmless but so poorly guarded on a full moon he could be released by a simpleton…and has for that matter…on a number of occasions."

Nesme leaned over to Davis, "He's talking about Remus, right?"

" _Shh_ ," Davis hushed in a panic, before remembering they had a spell in place to hide their conversation, "How'd you know that?"

Nesme shrugged, "He has Astronomy with me; missed every class that falls on a full moon."

Severus pressed on, ticking off on his fingers, "Then Dumbledore had a murderous, violent tree placed on the school grounds to conceal said werewolf, which could very well be more dangerous than the creature he's using it to protect students from. Is that irony or just carelessness?"

"It's at least incredibly stupid," Simone offered.

"Anyway," Severus continued, "There's the fact the school is bordered by a rather dangerous, and wild range of forest, which we now know contains at least one, if not more, Acromantula—thank you, Hagrid. The lake's infested with Grindylows that could drown you in a heartbeat. And even if you survived that, the mermaids are territorial enough that they might kill you on impulse before realizing you're a harmless student."

"Not to mention Dumbledore let a student who attempted to murder you with a werewolf get off relatively Scott-free," Simone finished.

Severus glared at the table, "Yes…as if I could forget that little indiscretion. We must also remember that Dumbledore supposedly already suspected Riddle's guilt and Hagrid's innocence. Yet he allowed school to continue knowing Riddle would walk it's halls for another year or so as the potential murderer of Myrtle. Doesn't sound like he prioritized safety then, did it?"

"You put it that way and it does sound rather bad," Nesme admitted.

Severus gave Nesme a ' _you think?_ ' look, "The point is we don't know if Dumbledore would take this threat seriously and even if he did, the end result could be us all losing the one place we all truly feel like we belong; Hogwarts."

"It's like a second home," Nesme murmured sadly.

Everyone else nodded solemnly.

"There's always the fact that Dumbledore has no reason to believe us at all," Severus went on, "We'd probably come off as a bunch of overly dramatic teenagers making up stories. To be honest, the only way to really convince any teacher that we're serious about the Basilisk—let alone explain why we were even looking into information on the Chamber to begin with—would be to reveal the diary and diadem, which we've all agreed time and time again is a terrible idea."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Mary asked with genuine concern, "I can't say I'm too keen on living in a castle with a monster under it…especially if I'm one of the people it would likely target for my heritage."

"And fighting it is out," Davis said, "I don't think DADA has prepared any of us for taking on something like that."

"We may not have to worry about that," Nesme revealed, pulling out a library book from her bag, "I got this on loan for the week. According to  _Most Macabre Monstrosities_ , Herpo the Foul discovered that one could induce hibernation of a Basilisk using Parseltongue. It can sleep for centuries at a time. With Riddle being gone from school, I doubt there are any parselmouths left to awaken it, hence why no attacks have occurred since Myrtle died; he probably put the Basilisk to sleep and resealed the chamber to cover his tracks."

"And without a means to open the chamber, it's not like the beast is going to come up here even if it does wake up," Severus said with consideration, "Then the best course of action is this: we continue looking for ways to destroy the diadem—and the diary for that matter. Once both those items have been dealt with,  _then_  we can reveal what we know about the chamber and let the professional handle it."

"So then," Nesme began hesitantly, "The school will be closed?"

Simone patted her shoulder, "I honestly don't think it will come to that. It's a worst case scenario sure, but I mean come on, the school stay open after Myrtle died, didn't it. If they get rid of the bloody snake, Dumbledore probably could tote his usual 'there's no place safer than Hogwarts' speech and win over all the skeptics."

Davis smirked, "The benefit of stopping Grindelwald is everyone thinking the sun shines out of Dumbledore's ass."

"There's an image I didn't need," Simone groused, prompting a laugh from everyone else.

"You do realize what this means, though, don't you?" Severus said, sobering quickly, "If the Chamber was said to open for the Heir of Syltherin and Riddle opened the chamber…then he is a descendant of Salazar himself."

"That's all rather ominous, but it changes little right?" Mary asked, "I mean, we already knew he was dangerous, what difference does it make to know he was related to a muggle hating bigot?"

"It means," Severus said, leveling a meaningful look at everyone around the table, "That we may be messing with a wizard far more formidable than we thought. The descendants of the Founders are said to carry far more magical prowess than the average witch or wizard. Whether that's a rumor or not remains to be seen, but I advise we do not take the risk. If he is the Heir of Slytherin, than looking further into his maternal family should shed some light on the subject."

"About the Gaunts," Davis interjected, "Nesme and I did a little research on Riddle's file. It lists his mum and father's names, but the mailing address for where Riddle was residing when sent his Hogwarts letter isn't the home address for either of them. Further research into Tom Senior's death in Little Hangleton revealed that a family of pariahs known by the surname Gaunt lived relatively nearby. But the address Tom Riddle was living at when he received his letter…"

Severus gestured for him to continue, "Well?"

"It's an orphanage," Davis stated, "For Muggles. Wool's Orphanage in London, to be exact. Nowhere near the Yorkshire area either of his folks lived in."

"Merope's date of death is the same year as Riddle's birth," Nesme helpfully supplied, "So Tom would have not only had no knowledge of magic, he wouldn't know a thing about his family history."

"Which begs the question of how he realized he was related to Salazar," Severus muttered.

Simone sighed, "It's a shame Morfin died in prison. It would make things a whole lot easier if we knew whether he ever met his nephew."

"Sim, your father works in law," Thea pointed out, "If Morfin was arrested for the death of Tom Senior and his family, then as a wizard, Morfin's case would be filed with the ministry. Do you think your dad could take a look at it?"

"Hey yeah," Simone perked up, "I could tell him it was for a school project. He can't give me any actual details of the case, of course, but he probably could dredge up any tidbits about the Gaunts that would seems peculiar."

"That, and if they were known for claiming to be descended from Salazar Slytherin," Lily added with a grin.

Severus frowned, "I'm not sure you could accomplish that raising some sort of suspicion. The Gaunts are apparently a very obscure magical family given have little we've found out about them. You're dad would surely question what sort of 'school project' you could possibly be doing that involved them."

"That's true," Simone agreed, rubbing her chin, "I guess I'll just ask Minks to read the file for me." She sat back with a satisfied smile.

"Sim, seriously?" Thea sighed.

Simone shrugged, "What, there's nothing wrong with exploiting loopholes. Technically, Minks has access to files as an assistant to my father. Technically speaking, there isn't any rule specifically set saying she can only access filed of cases my father has overseen."

"Meaning she isn't breaking any rule by snooping in the other files around his office for 'organizational' purposes," Severus mused.

Simone nodded, "And as long as I explain the severity of the situation to Minks, she'll be willing to help me."

"By deceiving your father and keeping secrets," Lily said, "Aren't you worried she'll punish herself for that?"

"That's why I will have a punishment already lined up," Simone said sneakily, "She may only have one and a half cupcakes after dinner instead of two. Because of my love of sweets, Minks believes that in my mind, that is a dire punishment. So she'll do it and suffer very little, while satisfying her need to reprimand herself."

"Still haven't weened her out of scolding herself, huh?" Davis asked.

Simone sighed, "I swear if I could go back in time and find whoever first started the whole House Elf thing, I'd wring their neck. It's like ingrained into all of those poor little things."

"Back to the matter at hand," Severus interrupted, before Simone could go on a rant about the unfairness of unpaid house elves again, "If you honestly think that plan will work, Serapeum, by all means, try it. In the meantime, the rest of us will have to continue researching on our own. Understood?"

Lily and Mary nodded.

"Got it," said Davis.

"More homework," Nesme whined, slumping down in her seat.

Severus waved his wand, dispersing their silencing spell.

"Don't be too eager, Nesme," he said sarcastically, "There's nothing wrong with a little extra credit."

"What's this about extra credit?" Remus asked, sitting down.

"There's a Basilisk under the school," Nesme said with a grumpy pout.

Remus blinked, "Beg pardon."

One could probably hear a pin drop in the dead silence that descended over the table.

" _Nesme_ ," Severus hissed, casting  _Muffliato_  once more, "What the ever loving hell?!"

Nesme shrugged, "What? I thought he was part of our group now."

"Our study group," Severus snapped, glowering down at the girl, "Whatever made you think we were going to tell a former Marauder about any of this? For Merlin's sake, why don't you just tell him all our secrets?"

"Just to be clear, you're being sarcastic with that last part, right?" Nesme asked warily.

"Of course I'm being sarcastic!" Severus nearly roared, causing Nesme to shrink into her chair, "You can't just go around telling people everything."

"But I didn't," Nesme defended hotly, "I haven't told a sold. I just thought, since we've incorporated Remus into everything else, someone might have let him in on this by now."

"Excuse me," Lupin butt in, waving his hand to gather everyone's attention, "But what is this about secrets and why in heaven's name does it include a Basilisk."

Mary sighed, "Listen, Remus, if we tell you this, you have to promise to keep it secret."

"We shouldn't be telling him anything," Insisted Severus, "I thought we agreed we didn't need too many people in the know."

Remus looked back and forth between Mary and Severus, "Is this why you guys have all been hiding in the girl's loo? So you  _have_  been up to something?"

"You would see it that way, wouldn't you?" Severus sneered, "Despite the absurd and unfounded suspicions of your former cohorts, our dealings are far from nefarious, despite what Potter would have everyone believe."

He turned back to the group, "He isn't a part of this matter. I see no reason to include him just to make him feel welcome. This isn't primary school; we have bigger things to worry about than someone feeling left out."

"Yes, but Remus could be helpful," Thea reasoned, "After all, he's got that map now that his friends used to follow people all over the school. It could help us find the chamber."

Simone scoffed, "You would take his side. And don't mention the chamber; we haven't decided to share anything with him yet."

"But would it really be so bad to include him?" Davis asked while Simone and Thea glared at each other, "As a prefect, he can gain access to information from places we can't. The library's restricted section is open to him and Lily more readily than us. Plus, he's so unassuming; no professor would be suspicious of him snooping around."

"Still right here, guys," Lupin reminded everyone awkwardly.

"Are you all forgetting that his former friends are still hoping to make amends," Severus asked in exasperation, "Last thing we need is to share vital information with him while those dunces are dogging his every step—and yes, Lupin, pun intended with the dog quip!"

Lupin cringed at the mention of Sirius's animagus form.

"Severus, Remus is very smart," Mary coaxed gently, "It would be helpful to have another analytical mind working on this."

Severus turned to Mary in dismay, "Now you're for this too?"

Mary looked away, ashamed, "I'm just saying that we need all the brain power we can get."

"Well I agree with Severus," Lily announced.

Everyone looked in shock at Lily, while Severus almost seemed relieved.

"No offense, Remus," Lily assured her friend, "It's not that I don't trust you, but you've got so much on your plate already. What with your condition and then James and Sirius sneaking around your back. We're dealing with a very serious issue here and I would hate to drag you into something so complicated."

"Shouldn't that be my decision?" Lupin asked.

"No," Severus and Simone deadpanned.

"Once again, it isn't anything against you," Lily threw in comfortingly, "It's just that adding more people to the mix would only make more for us to keep track of. Secrets usually only work when they're known by as few people as possible."

"But we need the extra help," Nesme whined.

"No," Severus said, "We don't."

"I say we put it to a vote," Davis suggested.

"Don't bother," Severus growled, "I can see the majority rules here. If you need me, I'll be in my dorm."

He stormed off as fast as he could without inciting Madam Pince's wrath.

"Severus, wait," Mary called after him. She made to follow, only to be held back by Lily.

"Give him time to cool down," she advised, "Trust me, he doesn't reason well when mad."

"Speaking from experience?" Simone inquired, "While you're all filling in your precious Lupin, I'll go pull the broomstick out of Snape's ass."

"Sim," Thea said softly.

Simone gave her a pointed look, "You want to fill him in, go right ahead. I can't stop you." She strode off towards the exit.

"So…" Lupin said after a few moments of silence, "What exactly am I missing here?"

 

{page break}

 

Severus was sitting sulkily on his bed when Simone entered.

"Just invite yourself in, why don't you," Severus said sourly.

"Don't mind if I do," Simone replied. She turned to Stebbins, one of Severus's dorm mates.

"Out!" Simone barked angrily, pointing a long, manicured fingernail at the door. Stebbins fled as if a dementor was on his tail, the door closing behind him with a resounding thud.

"Did you come back here to pout," Simone asked, plopping herself down on the end of Severus's bed.

"Did you come in here to bitch?" Severus quipped.

Simone raised her hands in mock surrender, "Ooh, the little snake has fangs today, I see."

Severus turned away from Simone with a scowl, "Save it, Simone. I'm not in the mood for your games."

"No games here," Simone said honestly, "Truthfully I'm just as uneasy about letting Lupin in on the secret as you are. Though, I imagine your reasons are more personal than actual concerns on his trustworthiness."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Severus denied.

Simone raised a disbelieving brow, "Really? So this has nothing to do with him being a former enemy of yours? You're basing your objection to his inclusion entirely on the safety of sharing our secrets with any more people?"

"Yes," Severus insisted.

Simone only stared.

Severus sighed, "Okay, if you're not going to budge until you get what you want out of me, then yes, I don't want him involved because it's  _him_."

"Old grudges die hard," Simone recited.

Severus grimaced, "Don't I know it. Look, he and his friends made my time here miserable. The one place I should have been able to escape all the utter dragonshit that made up my life and they came in and ruined it. Sure he hasn't been actively a part of it in years, but he used to raise his wand just as willingly as them, just as gleefully. And he's a prefect now; all those times he could have intervened, he didn't."

Simone nodded, "Yeah, he did let them run wild."

Severus's scowl deepened, "And for what? The flimsy excuse that he may lose his only friends if he refused to let them have their fun? Are his excuses acceptable while me hanging around my dorm mates for fear of my own safety was somehow inexcusable?"

Severus picked at a loose thread on his bedsheets, "So what if Lupin's changed? It was long overdue. That doesn't mean he suddenly deserves a free pass simply because he feels guilty; he  _should_  feel guilty. Why should I have to include him in the first real group of friends I've ever had? This is my group and our mission. When I talk, you all listen to me. You  _trust_  me."

"You think we'll end up liking him more than you?" Simone theorized.

"Everyone always does!" Severus snarled, "Why do you think he and his lot have gotten away with so much for so long? Because  _everyone_  likes the Marauders. They're the 'good guys', the heroes. People just naturally follow them."

"Well, Lupin's no leader," Simone pointed out, "That's more the other toerags thing. Lupin's just a mopey, sad werewolf," she punched Severus in the arm, "And fuck you and Thea for keeping that from me, by the way. I have a right to know."

Severus rubbed his arm, "You really didn't. How'd you find out anyway?"

Simone snorted, "The bloody idiot actually told me himself during a study session with him and Thea. He mentioned it casually because he assumed I already knew by now."

"So he's a blabbermouth even with his own secrets," Severus groaned, putting his head in his hands, "And they're down there telling him everything."

"Well at least Lily was on your side," Simone said optimistically.

Severus nodded, "Yes, that was unexpected. A part of me worries she is only doing so to win me over."

"I doubt that," Simone said, "Lily typically doesn't have the selflessness to just tell people what they want to hear. She's too opinionated. If she voices a thought, you can be sure it's her own."

"True," Severus conceded.

"You two make up yet?" Simone asked.

"No," Severus said dourly.

"Can't get past your differences, I take it?" Simone queried. She turned her gaze to the framed picture on Severus's nightstand, spelled to be untouchable by his dorm maters. Inside the cherished Christmas gift, a young Severus and Lily frolicked about the school grounds under a tree.

"There's nothing to get past," Severus said firmly, "She said before she understood not all Dark Arts are truly as bad as they seem, just as not all light magic is harmless. Then I start dabbling in it—for our own safety, I might add—and she suddenly goes back on her stance."

"You're doing more than dabbling in it," Simone pointed out, "You're back to working on a spell that nearly decapitated you. I think that's sort of cause for concern."

Severus scoffed, "That's hardly the part she's fixating on. She wants to preach to me about morals because I'm trying to stay one step ahead of our enemies."

"You're poking around in people's heads," Simone stated sternly, "That's far from simple. I mean, how would you feel if—"

Severus cut her off, "Save it; I'm well aware of your feelings on this matter. I don't have to justify myself to you."

Simone pursed her lips, "I wasn't saying you had to. I get why you're doing it. Still, though, if there was a less…questionable way to do it…"

"There is no other way," Severus insisted, standing up to pace the room, "As of now, I have no way of knowing what Lucius has planned for us short of looking into his head. If that's the only option, I'll gladly take it. I honestly felt you of all people would understand."

Simone frowned, "What makes you say that?"

"Because this is war," Severus cried, turning to face her, "You know as well as I do that this is no time to fight fair. You can't always skate through life upholding the moral right. Sometimes your principals must be compromised. No one gets through this squeaky clean."

"And I realize that," Simone replied, "Trust me; I don't expect you to pussyfoot around the issues when people's lives are at stake. I'd do the same in your position."

"Would you, though?" Severus questioned, "For all your bravado, you are infuriatingly insistent on taking the high ground, if only to make yourself look good."

Simone choked out a disbelieving laugh, "What?"

Severus threw his hands up, "All the speeches. The rants, the lectures about right and wrong, fair and foul. You just love to have the moral high ground. Don't tell me you would throw all of that away and actually fight dirty if the occasions called for it."

"Hey I stood up for you," Simone argued, "I told Lily you weren't doing this to be a bad person. I tried to smooth things over between you."

"Oh, why thank you," Severus gushed with much sarcasm, "It warms my heart that you would go to such lengths for me despite it conflicting with your own beliefs."

Simone narrowed her eyes, unimpressed, "Don't give me an attitude. I get why you're doing this."

Severus laughed darkly, "Do you? Because I was under the impression you were quite content to sit on your high horse judging me."

Simone rolled her eyes, "Just because I don't necessarily agree with your tactics, doesn't mean I am judging you. For the record, I support your decision to protect Lily, to protect yourself. I just hope you realize what it is you're doing."

"I understand better than anyone else," Severus snapped, "The question is do you? At this point, I truly doubt you can understand my feelings."

Simone glared at Severus, "And what feelings are those?"

"Powerless!" Severus shouted, "Helplessness. You've lived in your cozy bubble of privilege your whole life, protected by mummy and daddy. For all your talk about the name calling and the racial discrimination, you were still living a life others would kill for, with hardly any worries other than hurt feelings. At the end of the day, you still returned to your safe little bubble, where daddy has the money and influence to make everything go away."

"How dare you belittle me," Simone hissed, "Don't presume to know me or anything about me, Snape."

"I know enough," Severus said hotly, "What you went through is insignificant to what's happening around you now. For once in your life, the Great, unflappable Simone is out of her depth and it scares you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Simone growled.

"Thea!" Severus bit out, "She's well on her way to marry what can only be described as a madman and for all your wealth and privilege, you're powerless to do anything about it. It gnaws at you, doesn't it? Knowing that she is headed for hell on earth and you can't do a damn thing about it. The Great Simone doesn't have the answers for once."

Simone clenched her fists, "You take that back."

Severus sneered, "Why? Does it offend you to hear the truth? For all the times you had to be right, all the times you've preached down to us, telling us how to solve our problems like we were simpletons, here you can't even save your best friend."

"Shut up, Snape!" Simone barked.

"Make me!" Severus challenged, "You're not all knowing. You don't have all the answers, and that scares you. Yet you want to sit there and judge me for my choices. At least I'm actually doing something. Lily needs me and I'm doing all in my power to protect her while you can't do a damn thing!"

"What is wrong with you?!" Simone snarled, "I didn't come up here to fight, so don't be an ass."

Severus bit out a laugh, "So I'm an ass if I tell you what you don't want to hear? Admit it: you've searched for loopholes and quick fixes to this mess the 'right way' and you've got nothing. There is no good way to save Thea, not one that allows you to keep your principals. The question is, will you act to help her or will you let her marry that bastard and live in misery just to keep your pristine moral compass intact?!"

He never saw the fist coming. One minute Severus was standing in the middle of the room and the next he was on the floor, splayed out by the nightstand, a red mark blossoming across his cheek.

Simone stood over him, rage still burning in her eyes for a split second before it faded and was rapidly replaced by shock.

"I…" Simone began in mortification, slapping a hand to her mouth. Shame spread across her face. "I-I'm sorr—"

She turned on her heel and threw the door open, running from the room.

"Sim?" came Thea's voice, having returned from the library, "Sim, what's wrong? Sim!"

The slamming of the common room door echoed loudly.

"Severus?" Thea called, cautiously poking her head into the boy's room. Her eyes searched the room before finally landing on him.

"Severus!" she cried in horror, rushing forward. She dropped to her knees besides him, cupping his cheek carefully, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Severus replied, wincing.

"This isn't nothing," Thea insisted, cradling Severus's face in her hands, "I passed Simone in the common room. Did…did she do this?"

"No," Severus lied, not sure why he did it, "I was testing modifications on Sectumsempra and it ricocheted. I'm just glad it didn't cut me. I have no idea what Simone's problem is."

Thea didn't look very convinced, but for some reason Severus couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. He wasn't sure if he felt proud or ashamed that he managed to undo Simone's well put upon composure.

He knew he'd been pushing, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. After all he'd been through, he was sick of people pretending to understand him and yet question his choices. None of them were in his shoes, but everyone wanted to weigh on on how he should live his life, Simone in particular. She always had to have the last word; because she thought she was always in the right.

Severus was never one to back down. In the face of challenge or opposition, Severus tended to fight back, as underhandedly as possible. Having spent his life being beaten on by people bigger than him physically or outnumbered, more often than not his words were his best weapon, derailing focus and catching other's off guard. It's worked a number of times on Potter. It had mixed results with his father, but most days, Severus would just relish the reaction he got out of the most hated man in his universe.

So he pushed. He pushed, he pushed, and somehow, he managed to undo all her hard work over the years. He tore down her unshakable demeanor and brought back out the volatile, impulsive child she had locked away out of shame back in her first year. It would be satisfying if her reaction in the aftermath hadn't been so unsettling.

Severus swallowed. The look of absolute horror on Simone's face put a gnawing feeling in his stomach that felt very much like guilt.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their breaking point, guys. Simone's not immune to that fact.
> 
> For all the experiences and perspectives Simone has had the liberty to go through and provide, she still lived within one bubble of privileged; wealth. Most of her problems with discrimination can hurt emotionally, devalue her even, but can never truly harm her in a physical way or endanger her. Money has the power to shield her from much of the worst of society and humanity. So being put in a position where she can't solve a problem, where someone she cares for can be hurt, that rattles her. What rattles her more is the knowledge that someone else is aware of that powerlessness. 
> 
> Review friends!


	71. The Remus Rundown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's enlighten Remus, shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Glad to have you!
> 
> Thanks for all your awesome reviews!
> 
> So, some big drama went down last chapter. I'm pleased everyone was thrilled to see some real vulnerability in Simone for once. She can't be infallible and she can't be perfect-Dear God is she not perfect.
> 
> We've got some mixed feelings in the comments about Severus's reaction to Remus's inclusion. Some of you agree that Severus shouldn't have to share this part of his world with a former bully (or someone complicit to bullying) and some of you think Severus should be mature enough to recognize that his friends like him for a reason and that Remus isn't going to steal him away. Glad to hear your thoughts about it. :)

* * *

Simone avoided Severus like the plague after they came to blows—figuratively for him, quite literally in Simone's case. Outside of classes, Simone kept mostly to her room, even the Slytherin common area lacking her presence. Occasionally, Severus caught a glimpse of Simone disappearing behind a corner or quickly fleeing a room when he entered. Other than that, she was a ghost.

Clearly, she was beating herself up over losing her temper. In retrospect, perhaps Severus was unfairly hostile to her that day. He knew Simone saw her temper as a shameful secret, regarding her past as a confrontational child with much remorse and deep rooted self-loathing. She probably saw every outburst of hers as doing herself and her family a disservice. Fighting for so long to rise beyond unkind stereotypes surrounding her heritage and skin, lashing out probably made Simone feel less in control, uncivilized like the bigoted would claim her to be. To lash out at a friend, probably made her feel even worse.

And so, Simone kept her distance. Most communication Simone had with their group came through Thea. Severus couldn't imagine what sort of conversation those two had, but he knew quite well Thea didn't believe his attempt to cover for Simone's actions. Whatever transpired, Thea appeared quite out of sorts each and every time she made an appearance at their table in the library. The fact that she came baring messages from Simone was the only indication that she was on speaking terms with the other girl.

This made it ironically convenient that Lupin had been let in on their secret. Being down one person, they needed some extra brainpower now that Simone was M.I.A. Loath as Severus was to admit it, Lupin's help could prove useful.

Of course, a day or two was spent relentlessly arguing with Lupin and following him around to ensure he didn't just run straight to a teacher the second their backs were turned. Lupin took the news of the Basilisk about as well as one would expect…in that he was instantly in fear of his life as well as everyone else's life. Adding to that the two cursed items in their possession and Lupin was thoroughly convinced they were all in over their heads and in desperate need of professor assistance.

At first, it was hard to get Lupin to budge on that stance. The need to ensure there were no other beasts in school capable of harming the students was great—he already lamented his inability to prevent himself from endangering anyone during the full moons, Dumbledore's 'secure' hiding place notwithstanding.

Attempts to coax him down from his position were initially met with understandable resistance. Under normal circumstances, Severus couldn't blame him; any rational wizard would seek authorities in matters such as these. However, it was this very expected reaction that was precisely why Severus didn't want to include Lupin in the first place.

"Look, Lupin," Seversu finally said through gritted teeth, massaging his furrowed brow after the fifth argument that day, "Let's make a deal: if you keep this secret—and help us solve it—I'll keep your old friends' little secret. Sound good? I don't think the Headmaster would be thrilled to hear there was three unregistered animaguses running about the school…nor that they've been letting you run loose from the shack for months."

Lupin paled, whatever argument he had dying on his tongue.

"Not too keen on seeing them arrested, are you?" Severus mused, "They'd probably think you were the one who told me, given how nicely you've integrated into our little group."

"Sev, that's low," Lily scolded.

"Do you want to risk him running to Dumbledore?" Severus challenged, "Or anyone else for that matter? Consider this is little assurance on our part. He keeps our secret; we keep his, or rather, his friends' secret."

"Fine," Lupin ground out, giving Severus a mild glare, "I don't appreciate being blackmailed, but if you really think it's safer not to get Dumbledore involved—"

"He lets you transform near the school with the weakest fail safes in place," Severus said simply, "Do  _you_  think his judgement is the best in matters of safety?"

Lupin faltered, "It's not like he knew James and the others would become animaguses…"

"No, but you would think a man holding the life of every student in his hands would plan for every possible risk instead of just locking you in a flimsy shack with the most basic of shields and spells to contain you," Severus drawled.

Lupin sighed, "Fine. You make a fair point. No Dumbledore. Though I hardly see why we can't go to any other professor for help. Or even an Auror."

"Just about everyone you can think of looks up to Dumbledore," Davis interjected, "Or opposes him, in which case they'd be a dark wizard and we don't exactly want them involved. But everyone else sees Dumbledore as some beacon for good and justice. They'd want to inform him right away. And if we get the ministry involved, Dumbledore could easily talk them into letting him handle the matter himself."

"At which point he'd find out about the items that led to you discovering the chamber," Lupin surmised, "And you already explained why you don't want him knowing about that."

Severus nodded, "So we have a deal? You will keep this secret to yourself and discuss it with no one."

"Other than us, of course," Nesme chirped.

Lupin sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, "I have to admit, this is a lot to take in. I'm still trying to come to grips with it all," he looked at Lily, "I can see why you thought it better that I not be involved."

Lily smiled sympathetically, "I told you it was a lot to handle."

"You had a few days to mull this information over," Thea said primly. With Simone gone, the timid girl had taken on a more aloof, business-like approach, a coping mechanism if there ever was one, "Aside from your concerns have you had any time to think about ways we could solve this problem without professor involvement?"

"Actually yes, "Remus replied, "Given how dangerous the matter is at hand…we need to find out what opens the chamber."

Nesme cocked her head in curiosity, "So…you  _want_  to let the creature out?"

Remus shook his head, "No, far from it. I want to prevent it from ever escaping. We need to ensure that no one, not even a random student, can ever stumble upon the chamber. I say we find out how it opens, then destroy the means to use that method. Throw a wrench in the works, or what have you."

"Sound logic," Severus agreed diplomatically, "There really isn't any guarantee that we'll be the only ones to ever piece together the clues. Hagrid is terrible at keeping things to himself and Myrtle will talk to anyone who gives her the time of day. Either one of them could let slip to a student various details that could send the kid snooping."

"And we found the mark for the chamber entirely by accident," Mary pointed out, "That snake might be small and in an obscure place, but it wouldn't be impossible to find."

Nesme nodded, "McGonagall's got me scrubbing the sinks in there as part of the punishment for wrecking the place in that fight. Any random person assigned to that task would have found the symbol by now."

"So let's say someone came across some clues to the chamber," Remus suggested, "They get curious, more so when the Professors they ask about it have little to no information. No one in the school would know why there is a snake etched into one of the faucets, so they can't turn to anyone else for assistance on solving it. They go snooping, they start fiddling around with it, maybe start rattling out spells and trying out patterns completely at random…"

"And discover the chamber by fluke," Severus finished, "In all honesty the possibility is very unlikely, but still  _technically_  possible. Best be on the safe side and cover our bases."

"Well we can't just sit around trying random spells and patterns," Davis said crossly, "We'd be at it forever, and who knows if it is even a spell or sequence that opens the thing. For all we know there's a key or something."

Thea threaded her fingers together, "You're right. We may need to consult the diary for this." She pulled out the aforementioned item, wrapped tightly in thick cloth.

Davis blanched, raising his hands defensively, "Hey, let's not go that far. That thing is trouble."

"As much as I'd like a new lead in this case, I'm inclined to agree with Davis," Severus admitted, "It remains to be seen whether or not the diary is cursed the same as the diadem, but we can't deny that there is an unsettling…weight to that item."

Lily nodded, "It feels cold, unnaturally so."

"Even I feel less than comfortable around it," Remus revealed, "Though I can't say whether or not that because of the diary or because you told me to be wary of it."

"Davis, you said your mother is an empath," Thea pointed out, turning to the boy, "Can you gleam any information off of it?"

Davis shrugged, still warily eyeing the diary, "Technically, all I inherited was a slight sensitivity; I'm not a true empath like mum. But I get a weird feeling whenever I hold that thing."

Steeling himself with a deep breath, Davis picked the book up, eyes closed tightly as if waiting for something awful to happen.

When things remained relatively unchanged, Davis let out a breath.

"Okay," he began, "It feels…there's this underlying foreboding. Like a prickling at the back of my neck. I feel like I should be afraid of something, but not sure what."

Davis glanced down at the diary.

"It's like holding a mean cat," he described, "Sure it's not scratching and biting you like you expect it to, but you still feel like it's going to go mad on you any minute, once it's done feigning innocence."

"That's a good way of putting it," Mary agreed, "I always feel like something's going to jump out at me from the pages."

"There's also the matter of its ill effects," Severus ruminated, "For everyone who's written in the diary—Thea, Simone, myself, Davis—the same results have been observed. Severe fatigue and a hazy feeling."

Davis nodded, "I feel drained afterwards. Overly tired, or something, even in the middle of the day."

"It's like your brain's in a fog," Thea went on, "I always feel a bit muddled after writing to Tom."

"The same goes for me," Severus noted, "Whatever this thing is, clearly, it has some influence over its users, though what influence that is remains to be seen."

"Thankfully none of us has attempt to communicate through the diary by ourselves," Thea said, "We've always had at least one other member of our group present when attempting to contact Riddle."

"That's weird," Nesme said suddenly, "I tried writing in the dairy and I didn't experience any of that at all…"

Everyone stared at her.

"You what?" Severus asked, aghast.

Nesme looked at him in confusion, "I don't see what the big deal is. Lily and Thea let me try it. I was fine afterwards."

Severus turned accusingly to Lily, "Have you lost your mind?"

Lily glared at Severus, "Don't get so testy. Thea and I just wanted to see if it had that effect on anyone else."

"But Nesme," Severus said, "She'd the most trusting person here. You can't just let her play with an talking inanimate object; it'll tell her anything to get her on it's side."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Nesme said sarcastically.

"Don't blame Lily for this, Severus," Thea said sternly, "It was my idea and I take full responsibility for it."

"It was an asinine idea if there ever was one," Severus retorted.

"We had a legitimate reason for having her try, Severus," Thea said firmly, narrowing her eyes at him, "So I'd appreciate it if you'd trust me."

Severus snapped his mouth shut with a click, glaring at her.

Unfazed, Thea continued, "There has been a reoccurring factor in all of your experiences with the diary, including mine."

"And what factor is that," Severus sneered.

"We all come from magical families," Thea stated bluntly, "At least on one side of the family, if not both."

Lily nodded, eager to defend her reasoning, "Thea said there was a common occurrence with all your interacting with Riddle. At some point or another, he asks about your heritage."

He asked if your parents went to Hogwarts," Thea went on, "What your last name is, whether you are in the same house either of your parents were in. He was fishing for information on the background of whomever he spoke to."

"We all know Riddle is a fanatical blood purist at this point," Severus said, rolling his eyes, "It was pretty obvious even when he was questioning me. I fail to see how any of that is a ground breaking discovery."

Lily breathed deeply through her nose, trying not to lose her temper at Severus's impatience, "Well, when I used the diary—"

"You used it too?!" Severus cried, "Does anyone have any common sense?"

"If you'd let me finish," Lily said mockingly sweetly, narrowing her eyes at Severus, "I was going to say that your reaction to the diary may be entirely based on your blood."

Severus blinked, "What?"

"When Nesme revealed that her mother and biological father are in fact muggle," Thea explained, "The diary stopped responding to her. On top of that, she experienced no ill effects of writing in the diary the way we did."

"And that's how it turned out for me too when I revealed my lineage," Lily added.

"So what does that mean?" Lupin asked curiously.

Thea glanced around the table, "Severus already made it clear; this thing is trying to influence us, similar to the diadem. The muddled thoughts, the confusion, that's it trying to get something from us, or to get us to do something. But whatever its plan is, it doesn't want anything to do with muggleborns."

"It doesn't want our dirty muggleborn hands involved in its plans," Mary mused.

"It wants to reopen the chamber," Severus murmured, mystified.

Thea nodded gravely while everyone else looked on in shock.

"What was that, Sev?" Mary asked.

"The chamber," Severus elaborated, staring hard at the diary, "Riddle opened the chamber when he was in school. He probably saw his relation to Syltherin as a sign he must carry out his ancestor's work. But he couldn't succeed while in school, not with Dumbledore watching him."

"So he closed it down and made the diary to reopen it for him at a later date," Davis said, eyes wide in realization.

Thea nodded to Davis, "But he doesn't want muggleborns because only those 'worthy' may be used by him to open the chamber and carry out Salazar's work."

Nesme rubbed her chin in thought, "Funny, you almost think it would be more poetic to have a muggleborn open the chamber. You know, make them responsible for wiping out their own kind."

"Yes, but this is a task set by the Great Salazar Slytherin," Severus reminded her, "If Riddle is as proud of his heritage as we think he is, he wouldn't want just anyone to take on the task he viewed himself ordained for by fate. He's thinks highly of himself and lowly of muggles, despite his own paternal lineage. He wouldn't let some 'lowly' muggleborn bear the 'glory' of his grand plan. He'd rather use a pureblood or half blood."

Severus paused, furrowing his brow, "In fact, he seemed rather fixated on my own half-blood status."

"What better way for Riddle to spit on the relation to his father than to have another Half blood carry out his plan and besmirch their own muggle half," Thea said musingly, "It goes without saying that you're not going to be writing in this diary anymore, Severus. If he's most interested in you, then we need to keep you away from it."

"No arguments here," Severus said, "Though I would like to be kept informed if you do use it anymore."

"Agreed," Thea replied, "Admittedly though, we will probably be keeping the diary closed from now on. Too risky. Now that I think about it, asking too much about the chamber on our own would seem suspicious to Riddle if he does have a connection to the diary still."

"Right," Davis agreed, "He'd want to have us under some control by this thing before it revealed anything to us. Otherwise he might realize our goal is to thwart him."

"There's one thing I don't get," Lupin said suddenly.

"What's that, Remus?" Lily asked kindly.

"Well, you all said the diary was left in Thea's cloak by Malfoy," Lupin began, "If Riddle did make the diary with the sole purpose of reopening the chamber, wouldn't he have rather left it somewhere in the school where it can be found by someone? What connection does Lucius Malfoy have to Riddle that would lead to the latter possessing the diary?"

"That's…a very good question," Severus admitted, "Lucius attended school after Riddle already graduated. As of late, Lucius only surrounds himself with other purebloods and men of status. Riddle is neither, first for his blood and second for the fact that no one has apparently heard of him since he left school; not exactly the influential socialite Lucius would cling to."

"But they're both Slytherin's fixated on blood purity," Lily pointed out, "Maybe they met by chance once."

"Or they met through one very formidable source," Severus theorized, "You-Know-Who."

"That madman would probably jump at the chance to show up Dumbledore's claims on how safe the school is," Thea said nervously.

"And Riddle would provide him with the perfect way to do that," Severus said, "Given the circumstances, I'm sure he could overlook Riddle's muggle half if the man brought him something as useful and famed as the Chamber of Secrets."

"Which would be the perfect way for him to meet Lucius," Lily added, "Riddle is already suspected by Dumbledore, he probably gave the diary to Lucius so that he himself would not have any connection to the chamber reopening."

"And then Lucius stashed it on the first pureblood he wouldn't be opposed to framing," Thea said moodily, "What a lovely future in-law."

"Well he didn't count on his intended patsy already knowing of Riddle and therefore being wary of the diary," Davis said, "He really screwed the pooch on this one. If he'd stuck it with any of his half-wit friends still in school, he may have gotten one of them to fall under its spell and do Riddle's bidding. Instead, the pounce gave it to the one person most likely to be cautious of anything falling into her possession, especially after she'd recently visited him."

"His pride oftentimes leads way to arrogance," Severus drawled, sneering at the image of Lucius's pompous face. Then he frowned. Something about this conversation was prodding at the back of his mind. Something very familiar and forgotten.

"Wait," Severus dug around in his bag, "It's Lucius."

"What's Lucius?" Lily asked, raising a brow in confusion.

"The clue I got on Halloween," Severus declared, finally finding what he was looking for. He pulled out an old potion vial he had shrunken down. Pulling a small snippet of parchment from inside, he unrolled it carefully.

"Look familiar?" he asked, presenting it for the others to see.

" _A secret is hidden among pompous pride_ ," Thea read, " _Vain arrogance loosens lips thought sealed_ …it does fit him to a tee now that I think about it."

"And he's an vain moron arrogant enough to give a valuable item away to someone he hoped to curse out of spite," Nesme said excitedly, "How did we not realize it before?"

"I think most of us thought maybe the diadem was the secret the note was talking about," Thea confessed, "I mean, Sim and I did find it right around the time Severus got this message. They correlated in timing."

"Except the message may not have been talking about the diadem after all," Severus said, "The question is: who knew Lucius had this thing and would warn us about it?"

"Well look at the other part," Mary said, " _Those who serve unseen see all."_

"And ' _One who is silent hears whispers the loudest'_..." Davis read, examining the note, "Could it be a house elf?"

"They'd be disobeying their master big time to sneak this note," Thea pointed out, "And any House Elf of Lucius  _has_  to be taught to punish themselves brutally for disobedience. I can't see one taking the risk."

"Besides, it was a wizard who slipped this into my pocket," Severus explained, "Too tall to be a House Elf."

"It could be stood House Elves standing on one another's shoulders," Nesme suggested.

"So two elves of the Malfoys risking extreme punishment to warn us," Severus said skeptically, "Unlikely."

"So why else would they mention house elves?" Davis asked.

"A house elf might have told them," Mary threw in.

Severus shook his head, "They would still be disobeying the master by speaking of it to outsiders."

"Unless," Lupin said thoughtfully, "It…wasn't an outsider…"

"If you know something, I suggest you spit it out, Lupin," Severus demanded tartly.

Lupin scratched the back of his neck, "I'm just tossing the idea out there but…according to Sirius," he grimaced at mentioning his old best friend, "The Black family House Elves technically now are required to obey the Malfoys and Lestranges as well, as a result of the union of Narcissa to Lucius and Bellatrix to Rodolphus. So, logically, one can assume the Malfoy's elves are under the same orders to obey all three families. Meaning someone within those families could have been informed of the diary by an elf without it being a true sign of disobedience."

"The only one who didn't turn out as mad as Bellatrix or as evil as Lucius is Sirius Black and he's been disowned," Davis pointed out, "So who remaining within any of those families would willing warn us so that we could try and stop it?"

Lupin turned an expectant gaze upon Severus, "I'm sure you could think of someone, Snape…"

Snape raised a brow, "You can't mean Regulus?"

"The little Black?" Nesme gasped.

Lupin shrugged, "You'd know him better than any of us since you used to run in the same circles, but from what Sirius told me, Regulus has always been rather close with the family house elves. In all honesty, he treats them far better than Sirius or anyone else in his family."

"He does have a soft spot for them," Severus noted.

"He does?" Thea asked in surprise.

Severus nodded, "He keeps it very well hidden at school—I doubt his housemates would be thrilled to find he treats his servants like people instead of property—but it's true. His family's oldest living house elf, Kreacher, has always been his closest companion. It wouldn't be that farfetched for him to have bonded with Malfoy's elves when the families merged."

"The little one I encountered at Malfoy manor was unexpectedly concerned for my safety," Thea recalled, eyes going wide, "He didn't want me in the room the diary was hidden in. He clearly knew it was dangerous."

"Then given his attempts to keep it from you, he doesn't like the evil within his master's house," Severus summed up.

"You think that little elf told Regulus about the diary?" Lily asked, "Even if that is true, why would Regulus help us? He's well on his way to joining You-Know-Who."

"He's on the fence," Severus revealed, "Whenever I talk to him it is clear he has mixed feelings about where his allegiance should lay. He might think purebloods are superior, but it doesn't sound like he feels muggles should be harmed or mistreated. He just wants more freedom with his magic, outside of the statue of secrecy."

Severus looked down, "That was one of the appeals for many of us who feel trapped."

Lily nearly reached out to take Severus's hand, but stopped short when Mary rested her head on Severus's shoulder.

"Either way," Severus went on, oblivious to Lily's inner conflict, "Regulus may not know what to think about muggles, but he  _does_  feel strongly about house elves. He's starting to realize that whatever future You-Know-Who is promising his followers, it doesn't include better treatment for his beleaguered friends."

"All the more reason for a house elf to warn him about the diary," Lupin stated, "Because it knows he might be willing to put a stop to this."

"Well done, Remus," Davis praised, "It would seem recruiting you was the right idea."

Lupin flushed under the attention as everyone smiled at him, with the exception of Severus who continued to glower stubbornly.

"If Regulus is having second doubts we need to keep that to ourselves," Thea announced, "Do not seek him out."

"What?" Nesme asked, "Why not? If he's one of the good guys, he should be helping us."

"He's our in to the happenings of the Death Eater recruits," Thea explained patiently, "Right now, what he learns in there could prove very useful, especially where Lucius and this chamber are concerned. If we approach him openly as a friend, he's allies will grow suspicious. Severus turned his back on their cause and none of us were never supportive of that cause to begin with. We want them to think we hate him and he hates us; that way they are more inclined to share information with him believing it will be well kept."

"It is my suggestion," Thea went on, "That Severus meet with him discreetly. We are only mostly sure he's the one who sent this message, so play it close to the vest, Severus."

"You can count on me," Severus said seriously.

"But be careful, Sev," Lily urged, "If it turns out Regulus isn't on our side..."

Severus smiled at Lily, "I'll be careful."

"See to it that you do," Mary butt in, slipping her arms around Severus's arm to give it a squeeze, "You mean a lot to me. To all of us, really."

"Even to Simone," Thea added quietly, "If she'd just get her head out of her ass and apologize."

Davis craned his head, looking past their group, "We've got company."

Standing several shelves away, Marlene stood beside a very meek and sad faced Peter. Peter was more behind Marlene than next to her though, peering around her shoulder at their group nervously.

Never taking her eye off the group at the table, Marlene muttered something out the corner of her mouth, to which Peter shook his head frantically. Rolling her eyes with a sigh, Marlene took hold of Peter's arm and yanked him out from behind her. With a push between the shoulder blades, she shoved Peter forward, causing the timid boy to stumble.

Peter turned his watery eyes back to Marlene pleadingly, but the girl only shook her head and pointed at the table sternly. She then turned hard eyes to Lupin.

Lupin sighed, "I should probably go deal with this. I'll catch you all later."

He gathered his things carefully into his bag and slung it over his shoulder, walking over to meet Peter and a glaring Marlene halfway.

"She's been trying to get them to make up," Mary whispered, "Marlene, I mean. She hates how sad Peter's been since the falling out."

Severus scoffed, "What did she expect to happen from him cavorting with idiots? He chose to work with Potter and Black, now he gets to rue his choices."

Mary shook her head, "Marlene doesn't think Peter can really be blamed for going along with everything those two say. Peter's always been a follower; James and Sirius just shouted orders the loudest."

"Still to try and bring that wretched group back together," Severus growled.

"Marlene doesn't care about the other two," Mary admitted, "They made their beds; they can lie in them. That's what she says, anyway. But she doesn't want Peter to lose the closest friend he's ever had over the other two's schemes. From what Peter told her, James had him pretty convinced that Remus was only refusing to prank you anymore because you were blackmailing him with his secret."

Severus rolled his eyes, "Really?"

Mary nodded, "James told Peter that with you being considered a hero for saving me and Lily, Dumbledore wouldn't be able to save face if he expelled you for blabbing Remus's secret. The other two may be acting maliciously, but I think Peter might have honestly though his best friend was in danger."

"And Marlene believes this?" Severus snorted.

"Peter's not a very good liar," Lily pointed out, "It's the reason he hardly talks at all when they get in trouble; he can't come up with plausible excuses like James and Sirius can."

Severus huffed, "Don't tell me you believe this story too?"

Lily gave a half smile, "Would it really be so bad if Peter managed to befriend Remus again? The little guy probably needs a friend."

"Someone Lupin can blab to," Severus groaned, "Brilliant."

"Lupin won't tell him," Thea assured, "I've already sworn him to secrecy on this matter."

Severus looked at Thea skeptically, "Like an unbreakable vow?"

Thea shook her head, "Nothing that serious. Hell, I don't even know how to do that. No, I just weaseled who his crush was out of him and threatened to tell them if he ever spilled the beans."

Severus blinked, "Why that's…downright Slytherin of you…"

Thea grinned, "I didn't get sorted there without good reason."

"Ooh!" Nesme squealed, "Who does Remus like?"

Thea leveled Nesme with a bland look, "I'm not telling you. It's personal."

Nesme pouted, "Spoilsport."

"Well I certainly hope your blackmail is as embarrassing as you say," Severus stated, watching Remus navigate a rather awkward and stilted conversation with a stammering Peter, "Because we can't afford to involve anyone else."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure they say that now, but here they are talking about confronting Regulus, so...
> 
> So Thea's not so passive without Simone around. That isn't because Simone keep Thea meek or anything, but that Thea is so accustom to never having to worry about things with Simone around. Giving how much she walks on eggshells within her own house, it's a relief to come to school and have the freedom to relax while someone else does the worrying and problem solving. But without Simone around, Thea doesn't want to let her friend down, so she has to bring forth a little more hiss and bite like a good little Slytherin.
> 
> Thea's got dirt on Remus. Ooh the mystery! Who could he like?
> 
> I can't remember if anyone guessed it would be Regulus who sent the note on Halloween during Slughorn's party. He seemed perfect for the role due to how close he'd be to several of Voldemort's most devoted and fanatical followers, like Bellatrix and Lucius. Being that the latter is both an ass kisser and incredibly arrogant and proud, Regulus would at least have been given some cryptic bragging from his cousin-in-law that he'd been entrusted with something important. That would certainly perk his curiosity. And given the way Kreacher obeyed Bellatrix despite her not being his Mistress or the children of his Mistress and Master, presumably the house elves of the Black family are required to obey ALL family members and extended family-hell Kreacher is required to obey Sirius as the last heir of the House of Black, even though the latter was disowned. So this would give Dobby the loophole to work with on seeking help to stop Voldemort without disobeying Lucius; Lucius trusts Regulus to be on his side, he's now extended family, Dobby could pick up on Regulus waning loyalty and seek him out.
> 
> I originally wanted to sign Regulus's note as R.A.B., but I didn't want to give away who it was so easily.
> 
> Review folks!


	72. Up in Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire comes up a lot in this story...doesn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! Miss me?
> 
> Big thanks as always for the reviews and feedback. You fuel my creative process!
> 
> A few of you have expressed a bit of surprise and confusion about Severus's feelings of guilt over the fight with Simone. We can clearly see that in this case, some of what Severus said crossed a line, but some of you have noted that even times when Severus has said nothing wrong and yet recieved violence, he internally places some blame on himself, even while rightfully blaming the other person. This is not actually an unusual trait of abuse victims (not that Simone is an abuser, just an idiot who needs to sit in the corner and do some hard thinking). I myself endured many undeserved incidences in my childhood and teenage years where the fault should rest wholly on the person who abused me (always the same person) and yet...maybe a few hours after my anger and hurt had died down, I'd find myself questioning my own choices leading up to the moment. Sure, I didn't deserve to be hit or screamed at, but...could I have done something to avoid the situation, said or done something that would have gotten me out of there before things got bad? If I hadn't come home at that time, if I had just stayed in my room...would things have turned out differently?
> 
> Ultimately the fault rested solely on my abusers shoulders, but you can't help but dissect the situation and wonder if you could have avoided it all completely by just doing one thing differently.
> 
> Sorry to get all heavy on you guys. Anyway, let's get a move on.

* * *

Severus sat across from his mother in the sunroom of the Longbottom Manor, slowly rotating his spoon in his teacup simply for something to do with his hands.

They'd sat in relative silence since his arrival at ten that morning, sparse snippets of idle chitchat that, while pleasant, left much to be offered. Severus came due to the concerns expressed upon him in Frank's most recent letter, detailing the steady decline of his mother's grip on reality. He'd hoped to better access the situation himself, but a fat lot of good it did if his mother was content to sit in silence the whole visit.

His mother reaching out to cup his face caught him off guard.

"You've grown so much, Severus," Eileen said softly, a fond, yet far off smile on her face, "When did you get so tall?"

"One tends to do that with age, mother,' Severus said blandly, taking a sip of his tea.

Eileen giggled, "Also so serious, aren't you? Just like your father."

Severus frowned; he had a feeling this was about to venture into unpleasant territory, "Mother…"

"Look at this house, Severus," Eileen went on, unhearing, "I grew up in a house just like this as a little girl. So many rooms, and yet I don't have to clean a single one! The kitchen is so expansive and here I don't have to cook."

"She laughed, "I hope your father doesn't mind when he gets here. He always preferred my cooking."

Severus frankly couldn't help but recall all the times Tobias said Eileen's cooking was lower than pig slop, but he chose not to mention it, "Mum…dad isn't coming here…"

Eileen waved his concerns away, 'Of course he is, silly. Yes, your father is very stuck in his ways; prefers to get by on the sweat of his labor, but this will be a good change for him. No more working long nights, no more coming home late and too exhausted to get up in the morning. Really, this will be good for him."

Severus said nothing, holding his cup to his lips to hide his frown. While alive, Tobias was out late  _drinking_ , not working, and he stayed in bed the following morning because he was too hungover to function. Rarely had Tobias Snape been a hardworking man, succumbing to the bottle early in his and Eileen's marriage and finding a slovenly lifestyle in front of the telly or at the bar a far better use of his time.

"I'm sure he's digging his heels in right now," Eileen went on merrily, "But you'll see, the temptation of a worry free life will be too much for him. Eventually he'll see this life is better than working the grindstone. He may say he's not cut out to be a 'stuffy rich', but he'll come around."

Severus snorted, Tobias's despising of the wealthy elite had little to do with personality or 'stuffiness' and everything to do with jealousy. He had absolutely loathed the fact that others had it better than him, feeling himself deserving of a life of ease despite doing little that would warrant a fortune such as earning it.

Much of his hatred of Eileen was over the realization that she came from money and he'd never see a cent of it, something she'd neglected to inform him of prior to marriage, back when he thought her to be some lower class mill girl. Upon realizing that the financial freeze out from his in-laws was over their hatred of his 'kind', he in turn decided he would vindictively hate all magic. Of course, what he intended to be a sting against the Princes fell short of effecting them at all, as it was doubtful they would care what a muggle thought of them.

"Mum," Severus began gently, placing his cup down primly on the saucer, "You do realize our house…burned down, yes?"

Eileen nodded, a wistful expression taking over her face, "Yes, what a shame. I built so much of my life there. Got married, started a family, and now it's all gone."

"Well," Severus worried about how he could put this delicately, "You make it sound like dad is sitting around at home…but there's no home there now, is there?"

Eileen waved a hand dismissively, "He's at the men's shelter, Severus."

"The men's shelter," Severus deadpanned.

Eileen nodded, "Yes, the fool's too stubborn to just admit I'm right about this place and come here. But he will, mark my words. Then we all can be a family again."

Severus clenched his fists, wanting to scream. Again? They were never a family at all. The life Eileen remembered was a fabrication she chose to invent and it vexed Severus endlessly how determined she was to tune out reality for her own version of the truth. Tobias was not a hard worker. He was not a loving man, and there had been no happy memories in that house.

The very fact that Eileen could sit there and sigh about the supposed wonderful life they led to the son who suffered the most at Tobias hands was infuriating.

He wanted to lash out at her, curse her inability to protect her son as a mother should. He wanted to demand she stop her foolish fantasizing about a 'good man' who never existed, a man whom never emanated the warmth she claimed him to possess in her dreams. Severus wanted to shake his mouth and make her see the truth, that her life with Tobias was horrible and her unwillingness to admit the marriage was a mistake and leave made her partially to blame for the hardships she and Severus had suffered.

But…Severus looked down at his hands, letting his grip go lax. What could he do? Confronting her was tempting, yelling out his frustration a truly satisfying feeling, but ultimately it would accomplish very little. Eileen rarely responded well to shouting—very few people did—at her worst responding in kind with barbed words and cutting remarks, and at her most frail cowering and weeping in fear. As much as Severus wanted to unload his anger on his mother, he didn't think he'd be able to stomach her huddled in the corner crying and knowing his anger was the cause.

"Yes, mum," he said instead, heaving out a tired, weary sigh, "We'll be a family again."

He stood up slowly, careful not to startle his mother.

"I need to return to school now, mum," he said softly.

"Right," Eileen said distractedly, blinking owlishly at Severus as if just remembering her was there, "You have to keep up with your studies."

"Yes," Severus crossed round the table to Eileen, bending at the hip to give her a light kiss on the forehead, the most affectionate gesture he'd ever been able to exchange with his mother to date, "Take care of yourself, mum."

"You too, dear," his mother said with a smile.

Severus turned to leave, only for Eileen to grabbed hold of his arm.

"Severus?" Eileen said hesitantly.

Severus turned back to her expectantly.

Unexpectedly, Eileen tugged on Severus's arm, forcing him to lean in close.

Eileen gently cupped Severus's face in her hands, stroking her thumbs across his cheeks.

"You make me so proud…," she said eventually, her eyes swimming with emotion.

"…Thank you, mum," Severus said, "That means a lot to me."

Eileen released him then, turning back to the window, humming to herself.

"I see what you mean," Severus announced when he rejoined Frank out in the foyer, "Is she like this often?"

"Daily," Frank replied gravely, "She's out there most mornings until past lunch, and then she moves to the garden, always saying the same things."

"That my father is coming," Severus noted.

Frank nodded, "Usually she acts as if he'll be here any minute or by the evening. Regardless of the time, she believes he's on his way."

"And when he doesn't make an appearance?" Severus asked.

"That's the weird part," Frank said, "She right up until she goes to sleep, she maintains he's on his way. The next morning, the whole process repeats again…like she's reset herself. She doesn't recalling having said the same things the day before, she just starts over again."

"That explains a few things," Severus muttered. When he first arrived, he'd noticed his mother asked him some of the same things as she had during his last visit, almost as if she believed it was her first time inquiring.

"I know I shouldn't say anything," Frank began cautiously, "But my mum's been talking. She wonders if Eileen needs treatment at St. Mungos…"

"Absolutely not," Severus refused, "She won't be treated there, just stored away in a ward and forgotten; they're terrible at treating ailments of the mind. I won't have that for her. If caring for her becomes too difficult for your family, I understand. I'll seek new arrangements, but I won't have her going into a facility."

"Oh she's no trouble at all," Frank abated, "Really, we have plenty of help with the house elves. She's not a burden; mum just worries we're making things worse by not getting help."

"The only thing that can be of help to her is re-acclimating her to the magical world," Severus said firmly, "She's been kept away from it too long. How's her magic?"

Frank shrugged, "Mum lent her an old family wand, but she hasn't had much luck in using it yet. I know the wand choose the wizard, but she can barely get a spark out of it."

"She hasn't touched a wand in years," Severus confessed drearily, "I imagine holding one feels rather foreign to her now."

"She has shown some accidental magic," Frank revealed, "Just little things. Teacups moving on their own, flowers opening and closing, things like that. Still it's a good sign."

"Better than I could hope for, given the circumstances," Severus conceded, "Her mind may be weak, but at least her magic is growing in strength."

Severus sighed, feeling quite drained from the whole ordeal, "I should probably return to school."

Frank placed a hand on Severus's shoulder, "Hang in there, mate. We'll get through this yet."

"I wish I could share in your optimism," Severus admitted.

Bidding Frank goodbye, Severus stepped into the fireplace and threw down a handful of floo powder, "Headmaster's Office."

He reappeared in a cloud of clean smoke in Dumbledore's fireplace.

"Ah, Severus," Dumbledore greeted, "I trust you had a pleasant visit."

Severus stepped out of the hearth, brushing off his robes, "As much as could be expected. Thank you for letting me use the floo, Headmaster," he added politely.

Dumbledore inclined his head slightly, "You're very welcome. Tell, how is your mother?"

Severus frowned, "Doing about as good as can be expected, though she seems to prefer fantasy over reality as of late. Frank tells me she is under the impression that my father will be coming to live with her at Longbottom Manor."

Dumbledore quirked a brow, "Really now. That is peculiar. Given his recent passing I can see of such an event would be quite farfetched."

"Indeed," Severus agreed, "If it is alright, Professor, I would like to schedule an appointment with Marcus during the next Hogsmeade visit. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to talk to him."

"Of course, Mister Snape," Dumbledore obliged, "I'll arrange for it this evening. I should hope though, that you know I am available should you ever need to talk, as if the rest of the staff."

"I am aware," Severus replied carefully, "But I hope you do not find it rude that I prefer an outside, unbiased ear."

Dumbledore nodded congenially, "Of course. Have a good afternoon, Severus."

Severus gave a polite smile that came off closer to a grimace and left.

 

{page break}

 

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm up here?" Mary asked for the umpteenth time as she sat on Severus's bed.

"It's fine," Severus assured her.

"You sure?" Mary questioned, "Because the amount of dirty looks I got heading up here says otherwise."

"If you recall," Severus said lazily, "I never said you had to come up here. You could have waited outside the entrance while I gathered my things."

"Yes, but I've never seen your dorms before," Mary protested, "And it seems everyone is allowed all the other Houses' dorms, so I figured it would be alright for me to come in."

"I don't believe that applies to girls in the boys' dorms," Severus pointed out boredly, "Nor on their beds."

Mary shrugged, bouncing up and down a little on the mattress, "There's nowhere else to sit."

Severus shook his head, returning to gathering his homework.

"So," Mary began, "How'd it go with your mum?"

Severus sighed, "How long have you been waiting to ask that?"

"Since you came back yesterday," Mary replied simply, "So how is she?"

"She's…okay physically," Severus said slowly, "Mentally, not so much. She seems to think my father is still alive."

Mary grimaced, "That's not good."

"Indeed," Severus intoned.

"Do you think she'll get better?" Mary asked as Severus came over to sit down beside her.

Severus gave a half shrug, "Honestly I have no idea what to expect. I'd hope brining her back to the wizarding world would help lift her spirits, but so far she seems content to play a muggle living among magic. She keeps talking about some wonderful life we led as a family that never existed outside her own hopes and dreams. Tobias wasn't a Prince Charming, and my mum is no Cinderella. Her life was worse after she married him, not better."

"I'm surprised you know that reference," Mary said.

Severus snorted, "I did grow up with Lily."

Mary chuckled, resting her head on Severus's shoulder, "I'm sorry things you've had to put up with so much, Sev. It can't be easy on you."

"I suppose I've dealt with worse," Severus said dismissively, referencing the years under Tobias's roof.

"So?" Mary asked, a bit of anger in her voice, "Just because you've been through harder stuff doesn't mean you should have to endure anything less. It still more than anyone should have to go through."

"Our life experiences aren't measure by how much good fortune or misfortune we've had," Severus replied, "It matters little to the hands of fate that I may have already suffered before this."

"Still it seems so unfair," Mary insisted, "You've had to deal with bullies and terrible fathers. Even attempted murder! I think you've gone through enough for a life time."

Severus rubbed at the faint line around his neck, the only remains of the once life-threatening wound that marred his flesh, "Like I said, there isn't a quota on pain to be filled or maxed out. It's all random occurrences, or things you brought on yourself inadvertently. Usually what we go through is based on some unseen law of what's deserved, but rather it's just us being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It happens."

Mary frowned, tucking her head into Severus's shoulder, "It happens too often to you."

Severus shrugged, "It is what it is."

"Lily's worried about you," Mary confessed, "We all are. You've had a domino effect of one bad thing after another lately. First with your father being found dead and the prophet leaking your private life to the public. Then your house was burned down and now everyone knows You-Know-Who is targeting you. And after all of that you've mother's doing poorly…it's just a lot for one person to go through."

Severus massaged his brow, "If it eases your mind any, my father's passing was of little consequence to me; it was something I'd wish for a great while ago if I'm being honest. And my private life has always fallen under some speculation thanks to Potter and Blacks efforts to remind me daily of my poverty and hygiene since I first came to Hogwarts. Everyone's always suspected I came from a bad home, because those two buffoons always shined a light on it every chance they got."

"As for my house and my mother," Severus went on, "I can deal with the lose of that wretched place; it held no good memories for me. I realized long before that turning against You-Know-Who would bring some repercussions on me. Did I think he'd take it so personally that a fifteen year old rejected his offer, no, but I can't imagine he'd be pleased I got two others of his flock incarcerated. I'd braced myself for some fallout."

"And your mum?" Mary prompted.

Severus sighed, "My mother…well I can't say I'm truly surprised she's doing so poorly. She has been in a bad state of mind for many years…just not this bad before. Still, I suppose I always knew she was barely hanging onto reality all these years. Life's been terrible for her under Tobias's thumb."

"Why didn't she leave?" Mary asked.

"And go where?" Severus shot back, "She couldn't go back to her parents, she had no worldly skills, no life savings to fall back on. And she had me to take care of. For as much as she loathed my father, she clung to him and pretended it was by choice because she didn't want to admit she had nowhere else to go. I think being cut off from her family and magic for so long started to take its toll on her somewhere down the road."

"I take it then that no one from your mother's side has written back," Mary said matter of factly.

Severus nodded, "Not a one. Though I suppose I can't just write that off as confirmation; most purebloods would at least send a missive demanding I never contact them again. The fact that I've heard nothing could just mean they haven't gotten around to reading it yet, if the letters ever made it there."

"So there's still hope," Mary said optimistically.

"Or still a chance for rejection," Severus said sardonically.

Mary flicked his forehead, 'You can't sit around waiting for the worst all the time. There's being a realist, and then there's being a pessimist."

"The latter sounds far more appealing," Severus drawled.

"I'm serious," Mary said firmly standing up to face him. She put her hands on her hips, "I'm not pushing you to reconnect with your family for kicks, you know? I just don't want you to throw in the towel until we've exhausted all the options. As much as you dislike your relatives on principal, you don't really know them. If there is even the slim chance one of them is a decent person, wouldn't it be nice to reach out to them and give your mum some ties to her old life?"

"I suppose," Severus conceded reluctantly.

"If there's route goes tits up, I'll be the first to support you cutting all ties with them," Mary assured, "I just don't want to rule anything out before we know for a fact that they're a lost cause."

Mary looked sadly down on Severus, "I just want you to be happy, Severus."

"And here I thought you were trying to help me get my hands on the Prince family fortune," Severus joked dryly.

Mary gave an undignified snort.

"You ass," she laughed, shoving Severus, "If I was after money, I'd just betroth myself to Black."

"A fate worse than death, I assure you," Severus said gravely, though with a hint of a smile.

"You know I like you for you, right?" Mary asked, giving him a crooked little grin, uncertainty in her eyes.

"You've said that many times," Severus admitted, "Though I can't help but worry that you—do you smell something burning?"

Mary sniffed the air.

"I do," she replied, their conversation momentarily forgotten, "Where is it coming fro—"

"Fire in the common room!" the terrified scream from out in the hall rang out loudly through the room.

Severus looked to Mary in alarm.

"Have your wand ready," he ordered.

Mary nodded, fear paling her face.

Severus snatched up his school bag, not wanting all their research to be lost to the flames.

"Let's go," he said, heading for the door.

Kicking the door open, Severus and Mary entered into a scene of pure chaos. A fire was raging in the center of the common room, growing out of control as it caught the ornate tapestries on the walls and the draperies lining the lake-view window. Students ran frantically from the room, piling up at the exit as people all tried to escape at once.

"Single file!" demanded a prefect, stopping to drag a terrified, sobbing first year to her feet, "Everyone remain calm."

Smoke billowed across the room, rising high into the air and amassing like a thundercloud. Students choked and cough as the more knowledgeable of the crowd guided others into crawling on their hands and knees to the door.

Flames traveled up a tapestry by the stairs Mary and Severus stood on, the heat licking threateningly at them.

" _Aguamenti!"_  Severus chanted, aiming his wand at the fire.

A jet of water shot out the tip of his wands, but the fire it hit didn't recede. It didn't even sizzle.

Startled, Severus tried the extinguisher spell, all to the same effect, "What in the—"

"You can't stop it!" A frantic seventh year cried out from the stairwell to the girl's dorms, "Nothing puts it out!"

They all watched in alarm as the flames shot higher and higher, shifting and churning to form distorted images of beasts.

"It's Fiendfyre!" Severus cried out.

Screams began anew at this announcement, what few students remained fighting to fit through the door renewing their struggle with frenzied kicking and hitting.

"We have to get out," Severus yelled to Mary, grabbing the scared-stiff girl and dragging her down the stairs.

As they join the fray clustered by the entrance, Severus pushed and shoved with all his might, dodging elbows and fists as he struggled to keep a hold of Mary.

"We'll never all make it through," someone cried despairingly.

Suddenly, the door enlarged to a disproportionate size and everyone fell forward.

"Good work, Miss Evans," Slughorn complimented, "Your charm work is extraordinary."

"Thank you professor," Lily said, her wand still trained in front of her as she scanned the crowd for familiar faces.

"Sev!" she cried, scrambling forward when she spotted her friends, "Mary! Are you two alright?!"

"What are you doing here?" Severus asked, mystified.

"I was coming to see you when I heard the screaming," Lily said, helping Severus and Mary to their feet.

"Students, remain calm," Slughorn commanded, assisting several students up from the pile, "Enter the hall in a quick and orderly fashion and report to the Great Hall immediately. Prefects, please escort the injured to the Hospital Wing." He aimed his wand at a crying girl still crouched behind an armchair farther in the room, summoning her to him wordlessly.

"There now," he said, patting the girl comfortingly on the back, "Miss Ambrosia, please escort Tabitha to Madam Pomfrey, would you?" he gently passed the weeping girl off to a prefect before turning his focus back to the growing flames.

Raising his wand, Slughorn began sealing the door, large, unusual bricks seeming to form out of nothing steadily closing the hole.

"All our stuff is going to be ruined!" One sixth year complained loudly.

"That's what you're focusing on?" a boy nearby snorted derisively, "We could have been killed!"

"Let's get you two to Pomfrey," Lily advised, beginning to lead her friends away.

"It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it," Mary murmured to Severus, "First your house, now this."

"It's all material things," Severus said dismissively, "I made sure to take our research with us. The rest is just clothes and books. I can replace those. There's nothing else of…"

Severus trailed off his eyes going wide.

"The picture!" he cried, his mind going to the gift Lily had made him for Christmas. He could still see it, sitting on his nightstand.

"I can't leave it!" Severus ripped his arm out of the girls' grasps and charged through the gap still remaining in the wall.

"Sev!" Lily shrieked in terror, jumping through after him before anyone could stop her.

"Miss Evans!" Slughorn shouted in alarm, "Mister Snape!"

"Sev! Lily!" Mary made to go after them.

"No, Miss MacDonald," Slughorn said, blocking the frantic girl with an arm, "It's too dangerous!"

"Sev!" Mary screamed into the flames, "Lily!"

 

{page break}

 

Severus covered his mouth with the sleeve of his robe, hacking into it as the smoke cloyed his senses. Squinting through the haze of smoke, he sought out the stairwell, the flames not having consumed it yet. He made his way forward, stumbling over overturned furniture and discarded book bags.

"Sev, wait!" Lily called dashing towards him.

Severus whirled around, horror on his face, "What are you doing here?!"

"I couldn't leave you," Lily said, grabbing hold of Severus's arm.

"You shouldn't be here," Severus shouted over the roaring flames, "Go back!"

"Not without you!" Lily shouted back.

Severus shook his head, "I can't; not without the picture."

"What picture?" Lily asked, but Severus was already heading to the stairs.

"Go back," Severus demanded as Lily followed him up.

"No!"

Severus huffed, frustrated with Lily's stubbornness. He looked searchingly around the room, having a better vantage point from the stairwell, "Why hasn't it completely burned this place? Fiendfyre can consume a room in minutes."

"Look," Lily called out, pointing to the walls.

Above them, sections of the common room was changing, morphing in and out of existence. Segments of charred tapestry strewn walls were replaced by barren stone, furniture vanishing and leaving empty space.

"I think Hogwarts is fighting back," Lily stated in amazement, "Like the stairwells or the Come-and-Go room; it can change anything."

"It's giving it less to burn," Severus observed, "Unfortunately, the spell isn't designed to burn things, it's designed to seek out—"

The wall of flames suddenly curved towards them.

Severus swallowed thickly, "—people…"

"Run!" Lily yelled, urging Severus up the stairs. Ahead of them, the door to the boys room was blinking in and out of existence; Hogwarts efforts to prevent the fire from spreading. On the door's reappearance, Severus wrenched it open and he and Lily dived inside before it could disappear again.

"This won't hold it off for long," Lily said, back pressed against the door while she caught her breath, "Grab what you need and go."

"There!" Severus cried. He rushed across the room, tripping and sliding on parchment and notes scattered across the floor.

Strange, he didn't recall leaving the place in such a mess.

Focusing on the task at hand, Severus snatched up his picture from the nightstand, cradling it like a prized jewel.

" _That's_  what you came back here for?" Lily asked, "Severus, I can make more!"

"It wouldn't be the same!" Severus argued.

"I don't know whether to be touched or infuriated with you!" Lily declared angrily, "We have to get out of here!"

"Fine," Severus stowed the picture in his robes, "But I doubt we're getting out how we came in."

Cautiously opening the door, the two peered out only to dismay at the fire rapidly climbing the stairs.

"We're trapped," Lily lamented.

"Not quite," Severus said, an idea coming to him, "Climb up."

"What?" Lily asked, allowing herself to be lifted up onto the banister.

"The chandelier," Severus said, pointing to the opulent crystal piece hanging in the center of the room, "Jump for it."

"Are you crazy?"

"It's the only way!" Severus yelled harshly, "Now jump!"

Lily took a blind leap, her hands out in front of her, groping wildly for the chandelier. Managing to grab hold, she hung helplessly as the fixture swung back and forth with her added weight.

"Sev, come on!" Lily called.

Severus climbed shakily onto the bannister, wobbling with the effort to remain steady.

"I need it to swing back this way," Severus said, watching the chandelier sway.

"Well hurry," Lily hollered, "you don't have much time!"

Severus glanced over his shoulder at the rapidly approaching fire. It slithering up the stairs like a cobra coming in for the kill.

"It's now or never, Sev," Lily cried.

Severus made a leap for the chandelier as it swung back his way, just as the fire crest the top of the staircase.

For one horrifying moment, time slowed down as Severus's fell towards the chandelier. He barely managed to grab hold of the thing, slipping down to the lower tier of crystals, sending a shower of glass raining down to the floor.

"Yes!" he cried, only to panic when the rod in his hands cracked under his weight, "No!"

"Severus!" Lily screamed as Severus slipped from the chandelier.

He crashed into the remains of a burnt up ottoman and tumbled across the floor, lying prone in a heap.

"Sev!" Lily cried. She swung the chandelier hard, aiming herself for a chair and throwing herself into it with a grunt.

"Sev," Lily cried again, righting herself. She scrambled to Severus side, "Sev!

"I'm okay," Severus groaned, rubbing his wrist, "I think I sprained something."

"Better than what could have happen— _look out!"_  Lily screamed suddenly tackling Severus across the floor. The chandelier plummeted to the ground and crashed into the spot they'd just been kneeling in moments before.

"We have to get out of here," Lily moaned, looking around them for a way out of the flames, "I don't think Hogwarts can hold it off for much longer."

"Look over there," Severus said, pointing.

Not too far from them, a wand laid forgotten on the floor, fire streaming endlessly from it.

"That's where the fire started from," Severus said, "Who's wand is it?"

"There's no time for that," Lily said crossly, dragging Severus to his feet, "We have to find a way out."

They'd barely made it a few feet when the iron rod of a fire-eaten wall hanging gave way from it's bindings and feel down before them, cutting off their route.

"We're trapped!" Lily said in a panic.

Fire loomed ever closer, bearing down on them in the disturbing shape of a dragon, its maw gaping.

"This is it!" Lily cried in fear, cowering beneath the rising wall of flames.

"Lily!," Severus threw himself over Lily without a moment's thought.

The fire seemingly roared its fury then crashed down on them, intent on consuming them both.

It never hit its mark though, as a giant, luminous shield sprung up around them.

"Professor!" Lily yelled in relief.

"Stand back children," Slughorn shouted, his features set in stiff determination. Bravely, he kept his wand trained on the flamed serpent, "Stay back; the Headmaster has arrived."

Sure enough, a lone figure appeared in the center of the room. Midnight blue robes billowing around him, Albus Dumbledore stood poised among the flames, facing down a barrage of fire-made creatures.

"We must get you out of here," Slughorn announced, walking backwards towards the door with Lily and Severus safely behind him.

The doorway opened up a fraction, Flitwick poking his head through, "Hurry, this way!"

Professors unceremoniously yanked Severus and Lily through the door, Slughorn in tow.

Behind them, the flames rose higher still, a wave of fiery destruction set to engulf the room and the headmaster whole. Still, Dumbledore did not falter. Normally twinkling eyes steeling with icy clarity, he aimed his wand at the discarded one on the floor, the source of the fire.

The wand snapped in half with a flash of red, the flames sputtering out from the end of it.

Turning back to the near sentient wall of fire, Dumbledore raised his wand high in the air and began to circle it widely around him at the fire, sending it swirling around him in a whirlwind.

Just as the roaring fire reached its deafening crescendo…it stopped, the fire sucked up into Dumbledore's wand, the inferno extinguished.

"Never in my years," came McGonagall wavering voice, drawing Severus attention. The deputy Head mistress was visibly shaking.

"Never in my years have I witness such blatant stupidity!" she roared, "What were the two of you thinking, going back in there? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?"

"Now, now, Minerva," Filius soothed, "They're safe now. Let's just be glad of that."

McGonagall was beside herself with anger, fear and relief warring with itself on her face. If Horace had been even a moment later…

"Detention," she barked out, struggling to form words over the emotional overload, "For both of you!"

Before she could say more, a blur shot past her, tackling Severus and Lily to the floor.

"You idiots!" Simone croaked out, her face buried in Severus shoulder, "You bloody idiots!"

"Glad to see you're alright too," Severus said sarcastically.

"Shut up," Simone hiccupped; Severus thought he could feel a wet spot growing on his robes.

"You almost died," Simone said, "And here I've been too stubborn to just apologize." She pulled back, streaks of mascara painting a ghastly image on her face.

"Look at you," she went on, "You've got glass stuck in you."

"The chandelier broke," Severus informed her, "…after we took a ride on it."

Simone hiccupped again, a mix of a cough and a laugh.

"Idiots," she repeated as Thea came to stand next to her, "Bloody, bloody idiots."

 

{page break}

 

Clean up for the Great Fire of Slytherin—as it quickly became known was a messy ordeal. Wands could whisk away ash and debris, but relocating furniture Hogwarts had vanished away was a trickier matter. Slughorn mourned the wreckage of his beloved House while Flitwick carefully extracted ashwinder eggs from the ashes scattered about, hoping to remove them before they managed to hatch. Students picked their way through the room to locate any salvageable possessions, lamenting the loss of clothes and books, letters from home and favorite trinkets.

While the dorm rooms remained relatively untouched, Dumbledore decreed that all Slytherins would be staying in the Great Hall until repairs were complete.

All except the owner of the wand that started the fire, that is…

"I'm telling you, I didn't do it," Wilkes shouted, unable to struggle under the body bind McGonagall placed on him, "I don't know how my wand got there, but I didn't cast the bloody spell. I'm innocent.  _Innocent!"_

"That will be for the authorities to decide," McGonagall said coldly, "Casting a spell so dark in nature is practically as bad as an Unforgivable, Mr. Wilkes."

"It wasn't me though," Wilkes growled, baring his teeth at her, "Ask anyone. Ask Reg! He and Rosier were with me when the fire started. I didn't have my wand on me then, did I, Rosier?"

"With all due respect, Professor, I never saw his wand," Rosier admitted cooly, "He was talking with me when it happened."

McGonagall pursed her lips, "Be that as it may, it was his wand that started this. Rest assured we will get to the bottom of this matter, post haste."

She floated a still cursing Wilkes out of the room, Slughorn hot on her heels, his face creased in obvious disapproval as he tutted at his student.

"Who would have thought it," Mary said, standing in the doorway with the others.

Davis snorted, "Who would have suspected Wilkes, you mean? Umm…all of us!"

"Still, he seems sincere," Nesme mused, "He seemed almost insulted they think it was him."

Severus watched Wilkes be carried off, "Something doesn't seem right. If Wilkes had done it, he wouldn't have been stupid enough to do it while he was so far in the room. He'd have set it at the entrance and run."

"And he certainly wouldn't have done it to this dorm," Simone added, studying the damage around them, "It's the pride and joy of every Slytherin. Our legacy. He'd sooner burn down his house than something created by Salazar himself."

"So you think someone else cast the spell?" Lily asked curiously. She gently dabbed at a cut on Severus face, smearing some cream from Pomfrey over it.

"It's been done once before, remember," Severus pointed out, hissing as Lily touched his cut, "Back in Ravenclaw decades ago. When it happened then, it was Helena manipulating a student to cover up her secret."

"So you think someone was doing something similar," Simone said with consideration, "Couldn't have been Helena's doing; she's on our side."

"Well what goal could someone have in mind for doing this?" Davis inquired.

Just then, Thea came wandering back from the girl's dorm.

"Hey, Thea," Simone greeted, "Our things okay, I take it?"

Thea didn't answer, her face unnaturally pale.

"Thea?" Simone cocked her head, brow furrowing in concern. She took a step closer to her friend, "Thea, what's wrong?"

Thea shook her head, her lower lip trembling.

"It's gone," she whispered, "It's gone."

Simone grabbed hold of Thea's shoulders, looking the girl in the eyes, "Calm down, Thea. What's gone?"

Thea looked at Simone, her eyes watery, "It all happened so fast…when the fire started; everyone just ran out of the dorms…there was no time to think about anything else…"

"You're not making any sense," Severus said impatiently.

"I left my things in my room," Thea admitted, shamefaced, "The diary's gone..."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the Mayor would say on Action League Now (great moments from my childhood), "Uh-oh...here's trouble."
> 
> Pretty exciting, eh, folks? Never a dull moment in the land of Harry Potter.
> 
> So Eileen's mindset is at a fragile state right now, born mostly out of a necessity to hide from the truth of her own circumstance. She made an impulsive decision in her youth that cost her stability, safety, and ultimately her identity as a witch. By running off straight from wealth into marriage she effectively sealed herself off from potential fall backs and back up plans one might have had should the future not pa out the way they wanted it to. Others probably could have left in her situation, but those people would have had skills to apply to survive in this world, maybe family to turn to and maybe not a hungry child dependent on them. Eileen had little choice but to endure the hell she unwittingly stepped into and while being abused is not her fault but her abusers, she still faults herself for lacking any means to escape.
> 
> So she withdraws into a dream world, a place beyond rhyme or reason where she's still a little girl safe at home, while simultaneously a woman in a happier marriage; everything she ever wanted. It's easier for her than to cope with the lack of justice for herself or closure for her trauma.
> 
> I wonder who set the fiendfyre, don't you? And just when Severus was going to try yet again to let Mary down gently. Poor timing if anything, huh?
> 
> And Simone makes an appearance! Maybe now she can get her head out of her butt and work through some things.
> 
> Review please :)


	73. Overdue Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the diary theft drama unfolds, Simone has something she needs to get off her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> Thanks again for the reviews and feedback. Some of you have just gotten a hold of this story and I'm tickled pink you have reviewed so many chapters in one sitting!
> 
> Glad you all liked the intensity of the last chapter. I had to use some artistic license with both Fiendfyre's nature (it's loosely described in the books as to what it can and can't do) and Hogwarts abilities. It's almost a sentient being with the various abilities it exhibits such as sending out the school letters and adding names of every new witch and wizard born to it's future hogwarts registry (all probably the result of enchantment by the founders rather than an actual consciousness). 
> 
> I'm sort of surprised no one reacted to Slughorn's valiant efforts to protect the students. I wanted to portray the normally reserved and oftentimes cowardly wizard as rising to the occasion for once. I guess the excitement of nearly burning my heroes alive might have been a teeny bit distracting, eh?

* * *

The girls tore the dorm room a part, but unfortunately, the diary was never found. They could account for everything else in Thea's possession, her schoolbooks, her class notes, even the cloth they'd kept the diary wrapped in still resided in the smoke damaged girl's dorm. The diary had vanished without a trace.

It left Thea beside herself with grief.

"I'm so sorry, you guys," she said tearfully, "It never occurred to me to take it with me when I left. Everyone just dropped what they were doing and ran."

Lily shushed her, sitting down next to her on Simone's bed, "Hey, the dorm was on fire; you needed to put your safety first."

Thea shook her head, "No, I should have grabbed it. I've never let the thing out of my site before, this shouldn't have been any different."

"Again, your life was at stake," Severus stated, the wards that kept boys out of the girls' dorm temporarily lifted for cleanup, "It wouldn't have brought any of us much solace if the diary was secured at the risk of your safety."

"Just like  _other_  things aren't worth throwing your life away over," Lily said pointedly.

Severus glanced down at the framed picture of him and Lily playing beneath a tree by the lake. He still kept it clutched to his chest, "Apples and oranges."

Before Lily could argue, Simone butted in, "Don't be so hard on yourself, Thea. None of us could have known the fire was a ruse to get the diary. I figured it was just some dunce showing off and that they got carried away."

"So you do think the fire was a distraction," Severus observed.

Simone nodded, "I can think of no other reason for nearly burning down a segment of the school. Whoever did it wanted the opportunity to search our things without someone walking in on them. My stuff was gone through too," she gestured to her haphazardly rearranged vanity, "They riffled through all the drawers."

"Now that I think of it," Severus murmured, thinking back, "My stuff was all over the floor. Papers and books. I was a little preoccupied when I came back for the picture, but thinking on it now, that's definitely not how I left my things."

"Was anyone else's stuff messed with?" Mary inquired.

Simone shook her head, "Nope, just me and Thea from what I can see in here."

"It was all my things scattered on the floor," Severus added, "I'd recognize the handwriting."

"So this was clearly a job with a goal in mind," Davis said, "At the very least, someone knew one of your three had something. What we don't know is who that someone is, and whether or not they knew it was the diary they were looking for."

"That's true," Simone agreed, "There's quite a number of people in this dorm who don't think too highly of mine and Thea's alignment. The same goes for Snape. We can't be sure the person was just looking for dirt on us in general and figured the diary was worth stealing only after they saw the lengths we went to hide it."

"Regardless of whether they realized the diary's purpose at the time," Severus put in, "They're bound to know what it can do eventually."

"And if it's someone in Slytherin, how long before they are used to open the Chamber?" Thea asked miserably.

Lupin poked his head into the dorm room, "Hey, you guys…how…how is everyone?"

"No worse for wear physically," Severus said stiffly.

Lupin nodded, stepping carefully over some debris, "I heard you and Lily got caught in the flames; I was worried."

Lily smiled appreciatively at him, "We're fine, Remus. Really we are."

"Still that must have been terrifying," Lupin said, "What in Merlin's name were you even doing in there?"

"The diary's been stolen, Lupin," Severus cut in with a scowl.

Lupin froze, "What? But I thought you were keeping an eye on it."

Thea whimpered, hiding her face in her hands.

Simone wrapped her arms around Thea, glaring at Lupin.

"When a magical fire is burning down everything in its path, you tend to prioritize your life over your possessions," she snapped.

Lupin raised his hands in surrendered, "Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to imply anything by it. Of course your safety should come first. I'm just surprised someone found it during all the panic."

"We think the panic was what the caster was counting on," Mary revealed.

"Remus, they only looked through Simone, Thea, and Severus's things," Lily explained, "We think the fire may have been intentional to chase everyone out."

"And since no one would be stupid enough to waste time grabbing their stuff," Lupin missed the glare Severus shot him at that comment, "People would naturally leave everything but the clothes on their backs behind. So they knew what to look for."

"At the very least, they knew we were hiding something," Simone said, "So the question is: how much time do we have before a Basilisk starts rampaging through the school?"

"Now can we go to a teacher?" Lupin asked.

Severus sneered, "Of course you want to run off and tattle."

Lupin rolled his eyes, "It's not like that."

"Don't forget, Remus," Thea said, her words muffled by her hands. She looked up, her eyes watery and red, "I've still got dirt on you. Don't make me regret trusting you."

Lupin blanched, "Got it."

"Besides, what could we possibly say?" Thea went on shakily, accepting the proffered tissue from Nesme to blow her nose, "That for months we've been carrying around a dark item that can reopen the Chamber? And we told no one? We'd probably be expelled on the spot."

Davis nodded, "They'd break our wands for sure."

"Not old reliable!" Nesme said despairingly, clutching her crooked wand.

Lupin looks around, "You do realized you've essentially backed us into a corner from the beginning, right? You didn't want to tell a professor because it could fall into the wrong hands, now it's in the wrong hands and you'll be in trouble if anyone finds out you've had it all this time and  _not_  told a professor."

Nesme looked at Davis, "Is that irony or…?"

Davis sighed, "Stupidity, Nesme…the answer you're looking for is stupidity…"

"It's a moot point," Severus snapped, "What's done is done. Now all we can do is try and stop the Chamber from being opened."

"But how?" Lupin asked, "We don't even know who it is that has the diary. How can we stop them if we can't confront them?"

"Well, we can cross Wilkes off the suspect list," Thea announced, dabbing at her eyes, "If he took it, the diary would leave with him. That doesn't serve any purpose for the Chamber."

"Plus Wilkes would have to be an idiot to cast Fiendfyre and then leave his wand behind to be found," Simone pointed out.

Severus nodded, "He's not a strategical planner either; he wouldn't have thought to come up with this whole scheme to begin with."

"So we've taken Wilkes out of the running," Davis said, "So what? We still have the rest of them to suspect. How do we keep them from opening the chamber when we don't even know who to be looking for?"

"We have to keep them out of that bathroom," Lily stated, "Even if we don't know who it is currently, we can buy ourselves some time if they can't get to the secret entrance to open it."

"Hey yeah," Mary agreed, "Having the diary won't do them much good if they can't access the chamber."

"Sounds like some handsome young lads need to convince Myrtle to be on her most wicked behavior," Nesme said, smiling evilly at Lupin and Davis, "I'd include you, Severus, but you're attitude doesn't do much in the way of wooing, no offense."

Severus waved off her concern, "None taken. Now Myrtle's antics won't be enough; anyone with their mind set to it could endure a barrage of toilet water if they chose. We need something more to keep people out."

"Well…we could take a page out of Hogwarts book," Nesme said, "Or should I say,  _Hogwarts: A Histor_ y?"

"Nesme, you magnificent madwoman," Severus said approvingly.

Nesme beamed at him.

Mary frowned, "I'm confused; what are the rest of us missing here?"

"The charms around the school," Severus said, "The ones guarding us from discovery."

Lily perked up, "Of course! Aside from the illusions that make the castle appear as a ramshackle ruin, the school's defended by several charms that prevent even the most curious muggle from coming to take a closer look. There's charms that make you forget what you were thinking of doing here, charms that make you suddenly think you have somewhere else you need to be. Any of those charms could prevent people from entering the bathroom if we apply them right."

Nesme nodded eagerly, bouncing on her heels, "And it wouldn't be suspicious in the slightest. If everyone aside from us who goes near that bathroom forgets wanting to go in, none of them will question why that is because they won't recall why they wanted to go in there in the first place."

"So how do we prevent ourselves from being affected?" Davis asked.

"By all casting the charm together," Severus answered, "Maybe more than one, even. Either way, doing it all together will not only strengthen the charm, it will ensure we're all immune to it."

"This means study session, folks," Simone declared, clapping her hands, "The charm is a pretty standard one for Seventh years; prepares us for hiding magic in our daily lives as adults and all that. So, I'll provide the material from my classes. All the rest of you have to do is learn it."

"In the meantime, we'll ask Myrtle to ward people off from the bathroom as much as possible," Severus added. He looked at Davis and Lupin, "Good luck gentlemen."

"Why do I get the feeling that statement was entirely sarcastic?" Lupin asked wearily.

"Because it was," Severus sneered, "Now, I have to make sure my own property is safely secured before I'm forced to sleep on the floor of the Great Hall."

"It won't be that bad, Severus," Nesme said with cheer, "Think of it like a great big sleepover!"

"With a vast majority of the people there despising me," Severus deadpanned.

Nesme shrugged, "At least you'll have Simone and Thea."

"I think they'll probably be separating us by gender, Nes," Simone pointed out.

"Leaving me with Rosier and his sorry lot," Severus finished, "All of whom are surely quite sore over losing one of their ranks, especially since it appears he's been framed."

"I can't say I feel sorry for him," Mary admitted sheepishly, "Sure, he didn't do the crime, but that's not to say he wouldn't do things just as bad."

"Back when we associated with one another," Severus said, "Wilkes once cryptically implied that the number of cats and dogs near his home dropped dramatically after he got his first hunting knife. I don't doubt someone like him has the proclivity for terrible things."

Everyone grimaced.

"Is it really better for him to be expelled though?" Lupin asked, "At least here, Dumbledore could watch him."

Mary nodded, "That's true. Most of what Mulciber did at school was pretty discreet or low key; I mean, aside from nearly suffocating me…it was only when we were isolated on a train away from professors that he and Avery tried worse."

Lily suppressed a shudder.

"If he isn't incarcerated," Simone said, "If he's just expelled, he can merrily go off to join You-Know-Who's ranks early."

Severus nodded, conceding to that point, "Unfortunately you may be right. As of now though, he isn't our concern. If anything, it is one more person we don't have to worry about inside these walls. Let's be thankful for that."

"Well then," Severus went on, "If you'll excuse me, I have a room to tidy up."

"I'll help," Mary offered.

Severus shook his head, "If it's alright with you, I'd rather have some time to myself right now."

Mary reluctantly nodded, stepping back.

Severus took the stairs down into the common room, sidestepping students searching for lost items and professor working with house elves to repair damage. Hogwarts was repairing itself relatively quick, scorch marks on the walls vanishing as the blackened floor faded back to a remarkably clean.

"Hey Severus," Someone called out, "Wait a second."

Simone picked her way through the remaining mess of the common room, managing a ballet pirouette around the sudden appearance of a house elf that popped out of thin air to scamper by with new throw pillows.

"I wanted to talk to you real quick," Simone said when she reached him.

Nodding, Severus led the way to a seat by the window. It had been one of the first places accessed in the aftermath, professors reinforcing the damaged glass to ensure it held against the weight of the lake outside. Apparently, Hogwarts took it upon itself to create miniscule holes in the frame to leak in lake water in an attempt to douse the fire. The school was certainly a tricky, crafty little mystery.

Sitting down on a settee, Severus gestured for Simone to join him, cast a quick  _muffliato_.

"The floors all yours," he said casually.

"Right," Simone let out a breath, "So…you know how I said you could have died before I could apologize? Well…it occurs to me that I haven't actually don't it yet. Apologize, I mean."

"I assumed it would have been implied," Severus shrugged.

"Well it isn't," Simone stated, "After how I behaved…you deserve an actual apology, not just the implication of one."

Simone took a deep breath, straightening up, shoulders back.

"I'm sorry I struck you," she said sincerely, "I'm sorry I didn't want to hear what you had to say and I'm sorry I lashed out at you. No matter how mad I was, it doesn't excuse my actions."

Severus shifted in his seat, stretching his back, "I can't say it was wholly unwarranted on your part. If we're being honest, I was feeling a little vindictive; I wanted my words to hurt."

Simone shook her head, "That doesn't make it right. I shouldn't have hit you. I…I should have handled myself better…but I didn't."

"We're allowed to be flawed, Serapuem," Severus replied sagely, "I'm certainly bearing my fear share of…inadequacies."

"Yeah but flaws aren't supposed to be some quirky traits that you tote as endearing," Simone insisted in frustration, "It's not, 'Oh, I'm so clumsy, tee-hee.' It's things you're supposed to work on."

Simone drew her legs up to her chest, "I know how bad my temper gets. I know I need to work on it. When I slip up…I feel terrible…I don't want to be the person who loses it all the time while people make excuses for me."

"To be fair," Severus said, "I'm not making excuses for you. That would imply I was covering up blame for you. I'm not. I pushed, you fought back."

"Yeah, well I can push and push until the dragons come home, that doesn't give me the right to lay a hand on you," Simone said heatedly. She raked a hand through her hair, "Geeze, why do you always blame yourself when someone you care about fails you? You're allowed to say what you want, Severus, that doesn't mean that when you get hit you 'made them do it. You're not in charge of what others do."

Severus shrugged, picking at a pulled thread in his robes, "Force of habit, I suppose. There was always a correlation between my mouth and my father's fists. Hard to argue with those results."

"Well your father was an ass who hit you for the hell of it," Simone said, "He'd hit you even if you'd done nothing to him."

"But you wouldn't have hit me if I hadn't said what I said," Severus pointed out.

Simone huffed, "So? I'm still responsible for my own actions. I can't just pass the buck to you and say I didn't have a choice in the matter. I was upset, but it's not like I hate you or anything; you didn't deserve what I did. I just…I didn't want to hear it…I was afraid…"

"For the day I met Thea," Simone began, "From the day I met her parents, I knew life outside my house wasn't the same as the happy cheery life I lead. I knew there was a scary world out there that I'd be forced to face someday and I've been dreading it ever since."

Simone rested her head on her knees, "Feeling powerless…it's not something I generally experience. It's unsettling…terrifying. I'm so used to everything being simpler, easily fixed. But the thing with Thea, there's no one right or wrong answer. As much as I despise her parents, Thea will always have this connection to them, whether she wants it or not. She's got these expectations and rules enforced on her that my parents would never dream of imposing on me but are apparently quite normal for so much of the wizarding world. How can you fight something that everyone thinks is the norm?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Severus said, "But wasn't there a time where people like you being segregated was also 'the norm?' Last I checked that changed."

Simone scoffed, "Yeah, browbeating it into everybody that we were, you know,  _people_. But that took ages to accomplish; I don't have that kind of time to help Thea."

"Well not with the legal or political methods, no," Severus conceded cryptically.

Simone eyed Severus carefully, "It's like you said, isn't it? Sometimes you have to compromise what you believe in to save those you care about."

Severus leaned back in his seat, gazing out into the murky greenish hues of the lake, "The muggle saying is 'The path to hell is paved with good intentions.' Arguably, the path to heaven, or rather what's good, is probably paved with many questionable choices, all done because ultimately the end result will be a good one."

Simone listened intently, carefully considering Severus's words.

"No one can live a life free of mistakes or tough choices," Severus told her, "You don't have to like every choice you make, or even want to do it, but if it will help those in need, I don't think it wrong to occasionally stray from the path of 'right' to  _do_  what's right."

"There's lawful good and chaotic good," Severus went on, "One follows the law, one follows the heart. What's legal isn't always what's fair, what's right; isn't always what's legal."

"What about Neutral good?" Simone asked.

Severus scoffed, "Indecisive fuckers, the lot of them."

Simone snorted, "I don't think you quite understand the alignments."

Severus smirked, "I know enough. Regardless, you know as well as I that you can't always stand by your principals. Principals are a good thing, something we shouldn't forsake or cast aside on a whim. However, when it comes to what's truly important to you, or whom, that's got to take priority over a moral compass. What good is having your principals intact if you lose everyone that matters to you in order to keep it?"

Simone looked down at the ground, studying the patterns in the rug.

"Listen, you've got a lot to think on," Severus said, standing up, "But you don't have to make any decisions right this minute. There's still several months of school left, Thea's safe for now. Just…give what I said some thought."

He dispersed the muffliato spell, the din of the common room returning.

"And for the record," Severus added, turning back to look at Simone once more, "Apology accepted."

 

{page break}

 

Severus rolled over restlessly in his sleeping bag, unable to sleep.

Residing in a dorm room with many boorish, slobbering halfwits was difficult enough with the snoring, the sleepy mumblings, and the ghastly flatulence, but at least Severus could rely on spells to block out the worst of it. Here in the Great Hall though, spellwork had been forbidden, professors roaming up and down between the rows of sleeping bags to check for any mischief. Stuck in a room with his entire House and their various sounds and smells was unbearable for Severus, and so sleep was not a possibility.

'I suppose I could ask for a potion,' Severus thought bitterly. He'd seen her douse a few younger students who were still too shaken from the earlier mayhem. As much as he loathed being magically put under—he'd had enough of that at St. Mungos—it wasn't like he had many options if he planned on a good night's sleep. Regardless of the fire, they still had classes the following day, though it would mostly be reviews so Slytherins could rewrite notes or homework lost in the blaze.

'I could use some water, first of all," Severus thought. Scooting out of his sleeping bag, he waved over a professor to request a trip to the loo. Once a prefect was assigned to escort him, they wandered off towards the nearest bathroom.

There was already a prefect standing guard outside the bathroom when they got there.

"You go back to the Hall," Severus's prefect—a girl named Ambrosia—stated, "I'll take them both back when they finish.

The first prefect tipped his head towards her, "Sounds good to me."

"Go on then," Ambrosia ordered, "Be quick about it. My shifts almost up and I'd like to get some sleep."

Severus rolled his eyes at her brusqueness and headed inside, only to stop short in the doorway.

"Regulus," he greeted politely.

"Snape," Regulus replied, toweling off his hands at the sink, "I trust you are well?"

"Been better," Severus said stepping further into the room, "Nearly burning alive isn't my favorite activity."

"I wouldn't expect it to be," Regulus said simply, "If you'll excuse me," he went to leave.

"Leaving so soon…Babbity?" Severus drawled.

Regulus froze. Rigidly, he slowly turned to face Severus, "What was that?"

Severus waved his wand,  _muffliato_  descending over them, "What's wrong, Babbity? House elf got your tongue?"

Regulus stared at Severus in shock.

"Oh yes," Severus said, "I know you sent that note."

Regulus gulped, "How did you—"

"Figure it out?" Severus interrupted, "Not an easy task, I assure you. Admittedly, once my suspicion turned to you I had my doubts," he wisely chose not to mention his friends' assistance at the moment, "It was the name you signed that baffled me, really? What could 'Babbity' have to do with you?"

Severus walked around Regulus, the younger boy looking considerably pale.

"And then it hit me," Severus said, coming to stop before the boy, "Babbity  _Rabbity_. Rab…R.A.B…your initials. Most wouldn't have thought to think so obvious and childish…but that's what makes it perfect."

"So you know," Regulus spat.

"So I do," Severus said back, "The question is, what do you know?"

He pointed his wand at Regulus,  _"Legilimens!"_

Instantly, a barrage of images assaulted his vision. A dark haired toddler holding a house elf's hand. A stern face woman refusing her child's hug. Bellatrix laughing as a man pointed his wand at a young Sirius, while a smaller, familiar looking boy cried in the corner.

Then came a different image, more focused, more defined.

A small, timid looking young house elf crept over to a blank section of wall in a hallway. Urgently yet hesitant, it waved over Regulus, before snapping its fingers and causing a section of the wall to open up, revealing a hidden room.

"Master would be cross with Dobby if he knew…" the little house elf said, "But Master Regulus is family now, it's not technically breaking rules…"

Dobby led Regulus into the room, up to a large wooden desk. Opening it, Dobby revealed a humble, plain leather book.

Severus recognized it immediately.

"Terrible things are coming to Hogwarts," Dobby warned, "Master wishes to bring terrible things to the students there. Dark days are coming...and they must be stopped before it's too late…"

Just as Dobby was resealing the room, Severus found himself being unceremoniously thrown out of the memory, finding himself sprawled out on the bathroom floor.

Regulus slumped against the sink, panting.

"So you know Legilimency," he panted.

Severus nodded, struggling to his feet, "And you know Occlumency."

Regulus shrugged, "I dabbled in a little of both."

"So do I" Severus said, "I take it your father taught you?"

"Mother actually," Regulus said, catching his breath, "But clearly you were self-taught."

"Clearly," Severus said, "We don't all have people to teach us the Dark Arts."

"How unfortunately," Regulus drawled, drawing himself to his full height.

"You don't seem too fazed by having me in your head," Severus observed.

Regulus shrugged, "It's something one grows used to living around my mother and Bella. You could have just asked me, you know. You already know from the message that I'm on your side."

"All I know is you wanted me to find out about the diary," Severus pointed out, "I had no way of knowing whether you wanted me to destroy the diary, or hoped it would fall into my hands to control me."

"Fair point," Reg conceded, "So…what's it do anyway? Dobby wasn't precisely sure."

"Perhaps you should enlighten me on why it is you're helping me first," Severus suggested.

Regulus sighed, "You were right, okay…nothing good is going to come from joining You-Know-Who. I tried to tell myself that he means well, that it's all for the best but…his most favored lieutenant is Bellatrix, and she's crazy! Yet he favors her. He likes how cruel she can be. Bella isn't a part of the cause for the sake of wizards, to end the statue of secrecy. She just enjoys hurting people and he  _likes_  that about her!"

"You've met him then?" Severus inquired.

"Only briefly," Regulus confided, "He was at Rodolphus's house shortly after the wedding. Bellatrix hexed Kreacher to feel like he was on fire…everyone thought it was funny…even the Dark Lord."

"There's no better future for them in his new order," Severus stated, "Only more pain and cruelty."

Regulus nodded reluctantly.

"I see that now," he admitted sadly, "But I can't turn against him, not with my family involved."

"I know that book came from Him," Reg went on, "I thought, maybe you could figure out how to destroy it…or at least help me to."

"Considering the diary's been at the school since January, that's what we've been trying to do," Severus said bluntly.

Regulus's head snapped up, "What? It's here? How? And what's this 'We' business?"

"I'm not alone in my endeavors to destroy it," Severus explained, "As for how it got here, it would seem Lucius deemed it necessary to sneak onto Thea's person after her betrothal dinner. He means to open the Chamber of Secrets with it."

Regulus's eyes went wide, "The Chamber actually exists?!"

"Hurry up in there," came the angry voice of Ambrosia, "Don't think I won't come in to fish you out!"

"Later," Severus advised Regulus, dispersing his muffliato spell.

The pair stoically followed Ambrosia back to the Great Hall in silence, the older girl fuming to herself about a lack of beauty sleep.

When they all reached the Great Hall, Severus gave Regulus a slight nod, sending the boy on his way.

Ready to get some rest after so dramatic a day, Severus sought out Pomfrey for a sleeping draught.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...what did you all think of my convoluted explanation for the nickname Regulus used on his message all those chapters ago? 
> 
> As I already explained, I couldn't put R.A.B. or else all of my readers would figure out who it was immediately. So I needed a different name. Aaaaaaand, I came up with Babbity. Fuck it.
> 
> I hope you guys like Simone's apology. That girl needed to accept she can't save the world and she can't have all the answers. 
> 
> Review please.


	74. Reg Joins the Fold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to get Reg up to speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome back to another riveting chapter. I am currently typing this with a large, fat cat slumped over one half of my body, so forgive any typos; I'm forced to lay sideways to properly accommodate her. 
> 
> So a few of you have complimented me on the plan of Riddle opening the Chamber, stating it makes sense to act now, more so than in canon. While I'm glad you give me credit to believe I would think ahead like that, but in my story Voldemort doesn't actually knows about the plan to open the Chamber. 
> 
> Actually, I don't think Tom knew in canon that his valuable Horcrux would conspire to continue it's own ambitions. Given how important it was to him, I think he intended to save it for when he needed it most. I don't believe Lucius acted on his orders by giving it to Ginny. Judging from canon, no one within Voldemort's circle knew he had one Horcrux, let alone many. By giving it to someone else, it runs the risk of being destroyed (as it was in the second book). I think Voldemort planned to use the diary at some point under a more controlled scenario, like taking someone hostage and giving them the diary to write in, and they, being lonely, scared and desperate, pouring their heart out into it just for something to do and unknowingly giving it something more, their soul. Under those conditions, he could protect the Horcrux while still accomplishing the goal of revival.

* * *

Regulus stared on in open-mouthed shock as a door appeared in what once was an unassuming blank space of wall. Turning, he directed his questioning and stunned gaze to the smirking Slytherin beside him.

"Welcome to the Come-and-Go room," Severus said smugly.

Grabbing the knob, he opened the door to reveal a large, spacious living room, complete with decorative pillows of fuchsia and chartreuse. Wall to wall the floor displayed an array of intricate patterns across a rather expensive looking rug of geometric shapes and plush sofas formed a half moon in the center of the room.

Severus raised a brow, regarding his host.

Nesme only shrugged, "Don't look at me; I only wished for somewhere private where we could talk comfortably."

"Well you all certainly look…comfortable," Severus replied, glancing around the room at his friends spread out lazing across the sofas and floor cushions.

"Ooh, I love this sculpture," Mary gushed, picking up a gilded statue of an elephant, a flowery, henna like pattern etched into its every surface.

Severus wandered the room, leading a still gaping Regulus by the shoulder.

"This is the most luxurious couch I've even been on," Lily practically moaned, spread out across the silk.

"I never realized you had such exuberant taste, Nesme," Severus said observantly.

Nesme shrugged again, "It's my Nanni's sitting room. My Grandmum's," she corrected, "This place must have figured I'd be most comfortable there."

"I'm definitely comfortable," Lupin called, sinking into an incredible plush cushion.

"Lupin's here?!" Regulus asked, angrily wrenching himself out of Severus's grasp, "You let him in on this?"

"We have reason to believe he can be trusted," Severus said smoothly.

Nesme snorted, "Yeah, and that reason is collateral."

Lupin flushed, sinking deeper into his seat.

"You're mad if you think he can be trusted," Regulus said, pointing a finger at Lupin, "He's probably dying to offer up this information as a boon to patch things up with his lousy friends."

Lupin frowned, "I have no interest in ratting anyone out to them.  _I'm_  the one who told them to lay off Severus in the first place. Why would I throw him under the hippogriff now just to be their friend again."

"I don't know, because you're desperate?" Regulus snapped sarcastically.

Lupin glared at him, red staining his cheeks.

"And what the bloody hell is this place anyway?" Regulus demanded to know, "Is this where you all disappear to? You just come here and what? Sit around eating chocolate?!"

Everyone followed his gaze to Nesme, the girl frozen mid bite with a chocolate confection in her hand.

"Where'd you get that?" Davis asked.

"I don't know and I can't begin to bring myself to care," Nesme replied, taking another bite.

"So the room can make food out of thin air?" Davis questioned with a frown, "Do you really think you should be eating it if you don't know where it came from? Or what it's made of?"

Nesme narrowed her eyes at him, "If you think you're going to stop me, be prepared to pull back a bloody, bitten stump."

"Relax, you two," Simone soothed as the pair glared at each other, "It probably pops it up from the kitchens; just like the house elves do."

That gave Davis pause, "I suppose that would make sense," he glanced at Nesme, "Guess it's safe then."

"I'd better eat it all, just to make sure," Nesme insisted.

"Or you could share them," Davis suggested, extending a hand expectantly.

"Bloody stump, Davis," Nesme warned threateningly, "Bloody, bloody stump."

"Hello?!" Regulus shouted, "Some answers if you please! Where the hell are we?"

"I already told you," Severus said boredly, "The Come-and-Go room."

Regulus scoffed, "So there's just a secret sitting room on the seventh floor and you lot are the first to every find it?"

"It isn't always a sitting room," Simone pointed out, "Last few times we were here, it was a room of junk."

"Yes and we weren't the first to find it," Thea added, "Presumably, the last person in here before us is the one who hid the very thing we're here to discuss."

"Yeah, before we touch on that," Davis cut in, "What assurance do we have that this guy," he pointed at Reg, "Is actually as trustworthy as you think he is?"

Nesme nodded, "Yeah. For all his accusing Remus of ratting us out, we have even less reason to trust Regulus. So he wrote the note; that doesn't mean he wanted us to find the diary to save everyone."

"Maybe he was in on Lucius plan," Davis theorized, "Hoping to convince us to seek out the wretched thing earlier."

"And how would that make sense?" Regulus questioned in irritation, "It's not like you could just waltz into Malfoy Manor and take the stupid thing. Why would I try and lure you to it?"

Davis shrugged, "You tell me."

Regulus rolled his eyes in exasperation, "I wrote that note to  _warn_  Snape. Dobby told me Lucius was planning to release it on the school. I thought it was a book of curses and that he was planning to cast something from it. I didn't realize he was actually going to sneak the book into school on one of you."

"To be honest," Simone drawled, "I don't think anyone could have foresaw Malfoy actually giving away his weapon in hopes we'd be dumb enough to use it on ourselves."

"Regardless," Davis interjected, "We need to know for sure that Regulus is trustworthy first. I'm not about to share what we know if there's a chance he's going to run off to Rosier or worst with the info."

"I agree with Davis," Nesme stated, "We really should be better safe than sorry."

"Well I think we should trust Severus," Lily said, prompting a nod from Mary, "Severus is pretty perceptive about people. I think he'd know if Regulus was lying."

"Forgive me if I want more proof than someone's judge of character," Davis snorted, "No offense, Snape, but you did used to think this guy and his lot were your friends."

"I actually never said friends," Severus pointed out, "Acquaintances, yes, stepping stones to what I assumed would be my own greatness, sure. But never friends. Avery and Mulciber were slobbering cavemen. I barely tolerated them."

"Well you always seemed civil to this one," Davis argued gesturing to Reg.

"Because his family was prominent and powerful," Severus stated, "I'm not about to pick fights when I cannot win."

"So what makes you think you know Regulus enough to trust him now?" Davis challenged, "He wasn't your friend then, he's not a friend now, so how can you be certain he's being sincere?"

"I say we use veritaserum," Nesme declared.

Davis nodded, "I agree."

Severus scoffed, "And where ever would we get that?"

"We can nick it from Slughorn's office," Davis said.

"Let's try and talk this out rationally," Lupin tried to intervene.

"I'm pretty sure Slughorn would notice," Severus shot back, ignoring Lupin.

"Well you're a potion's genius, right?" Davis said, "Just make him a replacement."

"It takes ages—," Severus argued.

"No one is dosing anyone," Thea said authoritatively.

"But," Davis began.

Thea fixed him with a look, "No one."

Thea rose to her feet crossing the room in a few quick strides. As everyone looked on, the normally quiet girl regarded Regulus seriously. Standing nearly nose to nose with the boy, Thea stared Regulus down, eyeing him critically.

Finally she sighed, "I heard the whispers in the common room; I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your house elf…"

Regulus straightened, alarmed.

"What?" he asked, worry coloring his tone, "Why do you say that? Did something happen to Kreacher?"

Thea said nothing, she only continued to stare at Regulus sadly.

"What rumors?" Regulus grabbed Thea by the shoulders, "Is something wrong with Kreacher? Please, what have you heard?"

"Enough to know you have a good heart," Thea said simply, calmly detaching Regulus's grip from her shoulders, "Kreacher's fine. I just needed to gauge some things."

"You made that up," Regulus gaped, "That was all just a test?"

"And you passed," Thea informed him, sitting back down, "Congratulations."

She turned to the others, "Regulus might have been raised by more prejudicial parents that you all were, but clearly he struggles to buy into the mindset that others are truly beneath him by blood. If he love Kreacher so much, I highly doubt he enjoys seeing what people like Lucius or Bellatrix do to house elves."

"You want to protect those you care about just as much as we do," she said to Regulus, "Don't you?"

Regulus stared at her dumbstruck, "Y-yes?"

"Then I say we give him a chance," Thea announced to everyone, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"Where did this all come from?" Simone asked, staring at Thea in shock.

"She sort of took over while you were avoiding me," Severus elaborated, "You're absence prompted her to…rise to the occasion, so to speak."

Simone whistled, impressed, "Didn't think she had it in her."

Thea clapped her hands, "So let's get down to business. Sim?"

"Wha?" Simone asked, slightly dazed, "Oh, right…"

Simone cleared her throat.

"The diary," she began, addressing Regulus, "You're already aware no doubt that it once belonged to a man named Tom Riddle. You've surmised that it's likely cursed in some way. You would be correct. What you probably don't know is that it isn't the only thing of a dark nature that he left behind."

"Really," Regulus inquired shakily, slowly sitting down on the couch, "What else is there?"

"A diadem," Simone answered, "Cursed by him in his youth and left here after he graduated. Left in this place," she indicated the room they sat in, "Though not technically this particular room. It was a junk room when he found it…perhaps I'm not explaining this right."

"Wait a minute," Regulus interrupted, "back up a bit. You know when this guy graduated? How much do you all know about him?"

"Oh, right," Severus interjected, "Perhaps a little backstory is in order."

He took the student record proffered by Lily and slid it across the coffee table to Reg.

"It would seem that the mysterious Tom Riddle is a muggle hating half blood," Severus revealed, "Hell bent on bringing to fruition the endeavors of his ancestor Salazar Slytherin."

"H-he's related to Slytherin?" Regulus stammered.

"Evidence would suggest it, yes," Severus answered, "There's no way of truly knowing how a half blood convinced a blood purist like Malfoy to work with him, but it's likely his relation to the founding father of Slytherin House probably helped."

"I don't understand," Regulus said, scrubbing at his forehead, "What is it they hope to accomplish? You've mentioned to me before something about the Chamber of Secrets."

Severus nodded, "It exists, Reg, and Tom opened it once before."

"You've probably heard rumors that years ago a muggleborn was killed in the school," Lily took over.

Regulus nodded, "Some of the older students said their parent's told them."

"Well it wasn't a rumor," Lily explained, "Years ago, a series of attacks occurred in Hogwarts, all on muggleborn students. Mysterious claims were made that someone had opened the Chamber. It eventually resulted in one girl actually being killed. After that, the attacks stopped…supposedly because Riddle identified the attacker."

"He blamed a pet of Hagrid's," Severus said, "Though we've conferred with the victim that it wasn't a spider she encountered in the bathroom."

"The victim?"Regulus asked, perplexed.

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" Severus said causally, "You may know the victim as Moaning Myrtle."

Regulus blinked, "The ghost that haunts the toilets?"

"The very same," Simone replied, jumping back into the conversation, "It would seem Myrtle recalls someone speaking a strange language right before she was killed. A sort of hissing, as it were."

"Parseltongue," Regulus said in understanding.

Simone nodded, "When Myrtle came out to confront that someone, the very last thing she saw was a large set of large…snake-like eyes. She died on the spot without the creature ever touching her. Sound like any serpent you might know?"

Regulus blanched, "You can't actually be suggesting it was a Basilisk. Don't you think professors would have had an easier time finding it back then?"

"That part we have yet to find an answer to," Severus said, "But the fact still remains that the evidence adds up. The parselmouth, the death on sight…"

"The fact that Hagrid's accused pet was a giant spider that he recalls being terrified to leave it's box during it's time in the school," Lily threw in, "According to the books, spiders flee before a basilisk."

"Is anyone else starting to question how we didn't figure out it was a snake before," Nesme asked suddenly, "I mean…it's Salazar  _Slytherin's_  chamber…"

"Nes, I'd greatly appreciate if you'd stop pointing out our oversights," Simone deadpanned, "So shut it."

Nesme mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key.

"Anyway," Lily said, shooting her friends a look, "Looking back on it now, Myrtle is positive it was Riddle's voice she heard before she died. So it would seem Riddle opened the Chamber and framed Hagrid to throw suspicion off himself."

"But why would he open it in the first place?" Regulus asked, "You're notes in this file say he was raised in a muggle orphanage. What made him even think he was Slytherin's descendant?"

"Check the mother's side," Severus advised, "Gaunt. From what we've uncovered, there was once a wizarding family baring that name who claimed to be descended from Salazar himself."

"A bunch of inbred blood purists," Simone said, "Known only for their insanity and poverty…that and the last remaining Gaunt being arrested for the death of Riddle's father," she picked through the file in front of Regulus, pulling out a paper, "Riddle senior; Muggle. He and his parents were found dead of no known cause in their home just miles from Gaunt's house. An already established feud incited by Morfin Gaunt led to him being suspected and subsequently arrested."

"Thing is," Simone continued, producing a different file from her bag, "The information Minks was able to get me from the ministry sites that while the Killing Curse was the last spell to come out of Morfin's wand, his confession to the murders seemed inconsistent and muddled, like it was unfamiliar even to him despite being a memory."

"You think his memory was altered?" Regulus asked.

Simone nodded, "The question is, by who? At the time, the remainder of his family whom the ministry had records of were both dead; his father Marvolo having died not long after his own release from Azkaban for a previous crime, and Morfin's sister Merope dying shortly after Tom's birth. Most avoided the Gaunts on principle, but truthfully, that isolation meant very few knew the family enough to form any true animosity with them."

"Then Tom's father, grandfather, and grandmother were found murdered in their home," Severus took over.

Regulus rubbed his brow, "But you said Morfin already had an established history against the Riddle Family. He seems the most likely to do it then. Perhaps his memory was just foggy because he was so unstable."

"But what if he didn't do it?" Severus riddled, "You see, there's something else you should know about the two families. Before Tom Riddle was born, Tom Riddle Senior ran off with Merope Gaunt in what was the most scandalous and baffling elopement the town ever knew. This was in part due to Riddle Senior's good looks and wealth compared to Merope's poverty, presumed mental instability, and her notably homely appearance."

"Considering Riddle Senior abandoned a very well to do and beautiful companion to be with Merope," Lily added, "The village was understandably shocked."

"Months later," Severus pushed on, "Riddle Senior returned without Merope, claiming to have been 'bewitched'. It doesn't take much to guess what he meant by that."

"Love potion," Regulus breathed.

Severus nodded grimly, "Merope must have run out, thereby releasing him from her control. At any rate, Riddle Senior abandoned Merope, and given that Tom Marvolo Riddle was born not long after, he left when Merope was already notably pregnant. As was mentioned before, Merope died from childbirth, penniless, alone, and most likely heartbroken, though my pity for her is mixed."

"Hard to fully sympathize with a rapist," Simone said sourly, "Even if she had the misfortune of growing up with a nutter family."

Lily and Mary nodded, exchanging a look. Neither could say they'd feel much pity for Mulciber or Avery if they found out tomorrow the pair had lived tragic, abusive lives. There were just some things in life too heinous to be excused away by hardship.

Severus slid a picture across the table to Regulus, "This is a copy of Slughorn's Slug Club during Tom's attendance at Hogwarts. And this," he slid another photo across, "Was Tom Riddle Senior. Notice anything about the two?"

Regulus picked both photos up, studying them, "Tom and his father look nearly identical to each other."

Severus nodded, "That's right. Now, Riddle had no information on his family prior to attending Hogwarts, there isn't much muggle authorities can do to dredge up a background on a dead woman who didn't exist outside the wizarding world. All he'd had to go on was his unusual middle name and the fact that he had magic. Add to that the fact that he was sorted into the house founded on pride in one's magical heritage and it wouldn't be farfetched to assume Riddle believed himself to be a pureblood wizard who landed in a muggle orphanage by mistake."

"Marvolo Gaunt, while reclusive, was in the ministry records," Thea tact on, "So Tom could have very likely looked up his middle name and started searching out magical families that name was present in."

"Imagine being Morfin Gaunt," Simone poised, "You're poor, you're unwell, and not right in the head. Now imagine some teenager waltzing into your home who looks surprisingly like the rich muggle you used to hex, the one who ran off with your blood traitor of a sister. Don't you think you might have something to say about that?"

"Morfin was probably feckless enough to inadvertently reveal to Riddle that his father was muggle," Severus surmised, "Not only that, but a muggle who left Merope—the heiress of Salazar's last remaining bloodline—pregnant to die in the gutter. I'd say that would rankle any bigoted blood fanatic."

"In summary," Thea said, "That diary of Riddle's holds the key to opening the Chamber of Secrets, a chamber opened and used when Riddle was the school, making him literally the only culprit. Then we have the death of his father and paternal grandparents and a maternal uncle who served time for the murders even though his own confession was suspect. It goes without saying; we are dealing with a very dangerous individual."

"Okay," Regulus breathed out slowly, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pant legs, "Okay, you mentioned a diadem earlier. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Congratulations are in order, Reg," Severus drawled, "You're a part of the group that discovered Rowena's lost Diadem."

Regulus's brain froze to a halt, the boy staring at them in shock, "…what?"

"Well  _re_ discovered, anyway," Simone stated, crossing her arms and leaning back in her seat, "Riddle found it first, after tricking the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw into divulging it's location."

"He's met her ghost?" Regulus asked, amazed.

"You have too," Lily pointed out, "We all have in fact; the Grey Lady."

Regulus was well and truly flabbergasted, " _That's_  Helena?"

"Yes," Severus said, "Murdered after hiding the diadem she stole from her mother; though that's a tale for another time, perhaps. Regardless, Riddle, charming man that he is—he did tricked the school into believing Hagrid responsible for killing Myrtle, mind you—managed to beguile Helena with his charms and promises to destroy her greatest shame: the stolen Diadem."

"Only, he didn't" Remus jumped in, eager to be a part of things, "He cursed it instead and hid it here in the school."

"In the come and go room," Simone added, "A place that transforms into whatever you require."

"It's uncharted on the map, too," Remus said excitedly, "I checked. This would be the perfect place to hide something."

"Which is precisely what Riddle did," Thea said, "After cursing the diadem, Riddle stashed it in a junk room, one of the many forms this room can take."

Lily looked to Regulus, "We don't fully understand what Riddle intended to use the diadem for, only that it has a rather negative effect on anyone who gets too close."

Davis waved a hand, "Made me irrationally angry when I held it; the bloody things brings out the worst in you."

"It tried to compel me to put it on," Simone explained, "Stopped before I did, but I thought my head was going to split in two."

"It's dangerous," Severus summed up with finality. We don't know if Riddle intends to use it in tandem with opening the Chamber, but either way it and the diary must be destroyed…unfortunately, it would seem both have been enchanted to resist most methods of destruction."

"Which is where your input would come in handy," Simone said pointing at Regulus.

"Me?" Regulus blinked, "What can I do?"

"Duh," Nesme droned, sprawled on her stomach across the floor, feet in the air behind her, "You are now family to the guy who slipped the diary to Thea. Surely he knows how to destroy it."

"And whatever method that is could possibly work on the diadem too," Remus said helpfully.

Regulus glanced around, "Well, it's not like I could just ask Lucius."

"Sure you can," Nesme said, "Guy's a newlywed, right? To Prissy Narcissy, of all people; guy like that's got to appreciate a stiff drink."

"That's your solution," Regulus asked skeptically, "Get him drunk?"

"Just enough to do a little snooping," Severus said, "You know some legilimency, don't you. Getting through a drunk man's defenses would be rather simple."

Severus ignored Lily's frown.

Regulus nodded, running over the plan in his head, "I suppose that could work."

Regulus took in everyone's expectant faces, a grimace taking over his own visage.

Finally he sighed, "I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I."

"No," Simone replied easily, receiving an elbow to the ribs by Thea.

"He seems to be taking things rather well," Davis observed.

"I wonder how he'll handle it when he hears the diary was stolen," Nesme whispered none too softly.

"It was  _what_?!" Regulus shouted.

"Will someone distract her with a shiny object or something?" Simone grumbled, chucking a pillow at the girl.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may be giving Nesme too much liberty to be the resident wise-ass.
> 
> ...I offer no apologies.
> 
> So, do you think the guys handled this delicately enough? Do You think Regulus took it well?
> 
> Anyone against bringing Regulus into this at all?
> 
> Share with me, my lovelies!
> 
> Review please!


	75. Slip of the Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things get spilled at breakfast besides pumpkin juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I won't waste time dwaddling with useless blather, because I'm on my way to roadtripping for a friend's wedding (or on my way back from it depending on the time this uploads), so I have to work fast.
> 
> Thanks as usual for your awesome reviews! You guys are so amazing!

* * *

The day started out average enough by Severus and his friends' standards. Aside from the usual worry and suspicion cast upon the rest of the student body over the diary theft and a growing worry of if and when the chamber would be opened, things were pretty uneventful most days as of late. The Slytherin dorms had been repaired, though no one knew quite when the unpleasant odor of burnt rug would cease to linger.

Dumbledore and the professors were quick to assured the students that the culprit had been swiftly caught and dealt with, Wilkes, rather loud and furious protests providing a colorful show as he was dragged out by Aurors while he spit curses and slurs at onlookers.

Of course, Severus was still not convinced Wilkes was the culprit. Wizards of the highest caliber and skill knew better than to cast Fiendfyre in a confined space they were currently occupying, and even a halfwit, incompetent wizard like Wilkes was at least taught to never use that spell without a set escape route. Yet he was one of the few still trapped inside before Slughorn's arrival, far enough from the exit that he and Rosier managed to get caught up in the elbowing, tangled mass of students clustered together with no way out.

Surely, if Wilkes had meant to start the fire, he would have done so while much closer to the doors, as to ensure his own safe escape. He also wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave his wand behind as evidence.

There was the possibility Wilkes did the spell by accident, Severus supposed. His wand was a family heirloom, passed down in an ill-advised sign of pride rather than allowing a wand at Olivander's to choose him. It was a common practice of pureblood families, good and evil, which oftentimes resulted in a wizard wielding a wand unsuited to them and a mercurial relationship between the two.

This led to many mishaps with Wilkes magic over the years, his wand unyielding and cutting in nature contrasting strongly with Wilkes follower mentality and explosive temper. There could very well be a chance that the wand went off on it's own while tucked away in his back pocket. While not entirely common, wands could act on their own from time to time; the number of wizards holed up in St. Mungos with a buttock blown off was proof of that.

While an accident or act on Wilkes part was a viable possibility to most, the key factor that refuted it in Severus's eyes was the one factor only Severus and his friends knew of; the diary. Clearly, the fire was set as a distraction, granting the caster time in the chaos to raid the rooms unnoticed by the average panicked bystander.

True, it was almost unfathomable how the person would be able to weave up the stairs against the heavy flow of fleeing students, let alone slip back out unnoticed, but with or without those elements, Wilkes still was improbable. Trapped among the other frantic teens locked in a tussel at the entrance, Wilkes wouldn't have had time to raid the dorms. His friends fled with him, leaving their chances of being the culprit also rather slim.

Wilkes simply didn't fit the role in this case.

Still, Dumbledore seemed to want it perceived as an accident at the very least. Possibly unwilling to stir up fear and distrust within the walls of Hogwarts, Dumbledore assured the staff and students that the fire was in no way bore any connection to You-Know-Who and was in actuality a poorly constructed and mean spirited prank by Wilkes that he lost control of in his inexperience. The blame still rested at Wilkes feet, but without any fearful connotations of Voldemort's involvement.

What bothered Severus most was that Dumbledore could see into Wilkes mind if he so chose. As obvious as it was to Severus that Wilkes couldn't be the culprit, Dumbledore should be able to see that from miles away. Yet, he maintained a steadfast insistence in Wilkes's guilt, which created more questions than answers. Did Dumbledore actually find proof that Wilkes was guilty? Or was Wilkes in fact innocent and if that was the case, why conceal it?

The lack of answers left a feeling of unease to settle deep in Severus's gut.

"What's got your brow all furrowed, Snape?" Nesme asked, sitting across from him at breakfast.

Severus shook his head, dispelling the cloud of negativity swirling around his head, "Nothing, just the usual."

"Still worried about the Chamber?" Nesme asked, breaking off a piece of her muffin to dip in her pumpkin juice, earning a grimace of disgust from Davis.

Just as disturbed by the odd flavor combination, Severus nevertheless nodded, "It's been almost two weeks since it disappeared and still nothing has happened. I admit, the anticipation is…unsettling."

"Look, Severus," Davis said, pointing his spoonful of oatmeal at the Slytherin, "It's only March, we've got several more months to crack this case and we're still wholly unprepared. The fact that whoever took the diary hasn't made a move is favorable to us; we wouldn't have a real plan ready if they  _did_  open it now."

"Myrtle's doing a grand job of chasing people away," Nesme added, "Saw a group of fourth years storm away from the loo dripping and angry as wet cats. Even if the thief was able to endure the toilet water and faucet attacks; Myrtle's making enough of a fuss that she calls attention to the bathroom and no one suspicious would be stupid enough to hang around when the professors come running."

Severus nodded again, conceding to the validity of Nesme's words, "She's buying us time while we work on perfecting the warding charms. Speaking of which, how far along are you two?"

"Almost perfected it," Davis declared proudly, "Been studying it in depth for days now. I'll have no trouble performing the charm."

Nesme shrugged, "I'm doing alright. It's not the strongest yet, but with everyone doing the same charms at once, I don't think it will affect the integrity of the ward much."

"Well I've mastered it," came a reply as Severus opened his mouth; only it wasn't his voice.

Simone sat down to Severus's left with a grin.

"Of course, it was no trouble for me," She continued in a deep voice, still imitating Severus, "I'm incredible gifted in everything, you know. I right prodigy, I am."

Nesme snickered, hiding her mouth behind her half-eaten muffin.

"Hilarious," Severus deadpanned, flicking a crumb over to peck Nesme in the forehead.

Simone's grin widened, "Spot on, wouldn't you say? Thea thinks I've got you down pat."

"I never said that," Thea insisted taking a seat across from Simone, "I only said Simone certainly  _thought_  her impression accurate."

Honestly, Severus was relieved for some levity from Simone. Since the fire, she'd found various, poorly constructed excuses to hang around Severus, all under the guise of friendly banter and companionship. But Severus knew better; the thought of Severus dying clearly struck a chord with Simone, more so because she wasn't entirely convinced the fire was solely for the diary…she thought whoever cast it timed the attack for just the right moment where the diary  _and_  Severus would be inside.

The clinginess that came because of these suspicions was daunting, to say the least. It was nice to see Simone letting up a little.

"Joking aside, I have mastered the necessary charms," Severus stated, ignoring how Simone mouthed 'Told you' across the table, "Provided you two are prepared, we should be able to do the warding relatively soon. Hopefully in the next two nights."

"So you're just waiting on us?" Simone asked with a smirk, "I take it then that the genius Severus Snape has taught our resident Gryffindors all his holy wisdom."

"If you must know, Lily taught me," Severus admitted, pleased to see the surprise wipe the grin off Simone's face, "If you recall, charms have never been my strong point. But they're Lily's best subject."

"Next to potions that is," Lily announced, sitting down next to Severus along with Mary and Remus. Mary looked a tad put out to not be sitting next to Severus, but she didn't complain.

"Bragging about me, are we?" Lily teased Severus, helping herself to a hearty serving of scrambled eggs.

"Hardly," Severus drawled, "I was merely informing Serapeum that your tutelage came in handy for the warding charms."

"Oh yeah," Lily nodded, plucking a slice of wheat toast off a nearby tray, "Those were a breeze, weren't they?"

"So says the Charms Virtuoso," Remus quipped, salting his breakfast potatoes, "I thought I'd never get it right."

"It was near impossible," Mary agreed.

"Hey, I'm just surprised the high and might Severus Snape admitted he needed help with something," Simone laughed.

Severus rolled his eyes, "Just because I strive for excellence doesn't mean I am beyond accepting assistance from a competent teacher. I wouldn't come to you for help."

"I'll have you know, I excel in every subject," Simone bragged.

" _Arithmacy_ ," Thea coughed under her breath.

Simone frowned, "That subject doesn't count; it's hardly a real course."

"Let's stay on track," Severus said, "We're as ready as we'll ever be with these charms and we can't afford to waste time. Our diary thief could strike any day now, so we must ward the bathroom as soon as possible. I say we do it tonight; if not, then tomorrow."

"I should be free," Davis mused, "Gobstones practice was pushed back to the weekend."

"Thea and I are ready and available," Simone said.

"Same here," Lily agreed with a nod from Mary.

"And here," Remus added.

"I'm good," Nesme said, "Finished up my detentions yesterday."

"Is this the detentions for sneaking out to play with Hagrid's chickens, or for calling Hilda Heffigy a 'Bag of Dragon Dicks'?" Severus asked, bemused.

Davis promptly choked on his tea.

"You did what?" he sputtered, "I had a date with her for Hogsmeade. Is that why she called it off?"

Nesme looked away nonchalantly, "I did you a favor; she likes the Chudley Cannons. Who in their right mind would like the Chudley Cannons?"

"I do!" Davis snapped.

Nesme blinked, "Oh wow…I don't think we can be friends anymore…"

"How immature are you?"

"Davis shut it," Simone ordered, eyes on the Slytherin table, "Look who just came in."

All eyes turned to Regulus Black as he made his way down the Slytherin table, stoic as ever. Looking up to meet Severus's eyes, he gave a minute nod before dropping down into a seat besides Rosier.

"Is he keeping quiet?" Mary asked.

Severus nodded, "For now; he knows better than to double cross us since we know Dobby showed him the diary. He wouldn't want Dobby punished by Malfoy if that got out."

"Besides, we can trust him," Thea chimed in, "I've never been a bad judge of character."

"Come again?" Severus drawled, pointing at Simone.

Simone stuck her tongue out at him.

"Is he still mad we lost the diary?" Lily asked.

"We didn't lose it," Simone huffed, "We were robbed. Through no fault of our own."

She patted Thea on the shoulder. The timid girl was still rather downtrodden that the diary was swiped on her watch.

"But yes," Severus cut in, "Reg is not exactly thrilled the very thing he wanted us destroy is now somewhere in the school with Merlin knows who."

"We'll get it back," Simone growled, "And kick the micky out of whoever took it too."

"H-hi Remus," came a shy voice behind them.

Looking away from the Slytherin table, Severus and the others found Peter Pettigrew standing nervously next to them, a nervous look on his face.

Marlene was at his side, "How's it going?"

"Hi, Marlene," Lily greeted, "We're doing well."

Marlene smiled, "That's great."

She gave Peter a gentle push forward, prompting him to speak up.

"Hi," Peter said again, a little more confidently, "C-can we sit with you, Remus?"

"Sure," Remus replied easily. In the time passed since the Marauders break-up, Remus had managed a relatively tentatively friendship with Peter again. Being a follower and not a leader, Remus couldn't hold as much accountability upon Peter, given that much of his behavior was merely a product of James and Sirius's influences and a desperation to not be abandoned by his only friends, a feeling Remus could very much relate to.

It was shaky grounds at best, bridges were burned that day in the bathroom and Remus questioned whether any of them would ever fully be rebuilt. In the meantime, it was nice to spend time with Peter without Sirius's depreciating jokes and James's overall dismissal of the boy. Peter was a nice guy deep down, with a surprising soft spot for cats and a love of gardening, things he'd usually be mocked for if not for the Marauder's protection.

Peter smiled gratefully at Remus, quickly scrambling in to the seat next to him.

"Dining with the 'Puffs, you guys?" Marlene asked as she sat down next to Peter, "You'll still root for Gryffindor at the next match, though, right?"

"Of course, Mar," Mary said, "You'd hex me if I didn't."

Marlene hummed in amusement, "That I would."

"Hex me all you want," Nesme said challengingly, "But Hufflepuff has got you beat. Amos Diggory will mop the floors with you."

Marlene smirked, "Want to make a bet?"

"So, Peter," Remus said loudly, interrupting what was sure to be a rather obnoxious argument about Quidditch, "What have you been up to lately?"

"Oh, you know…" Peter said hesitantly, "This and that. Been hanging out with Marlene, mostly…and you…and…"

"Peter, you're allowed to stay friends with James and Sirius," Remus said in exasperation, "We've been over this; I never said you had to choose."

"I wish they shared the same sentiment," Peter muttered, casting a wary eye towards his own table.

James and Sirius sat on complete opposite ends of the Gryffindor table, sending heated glares and the occasional sneer each other's way. According to the gossip mill, Sirius still blamed James for Lupin's refusal to forgive them, sighting James's 'pathetic' fixation on Lily as the sole motivator to the whole fiasco. James of course denied the fight having anything to do with Lily, pointedly reminding all naysayers of his 'devotion' to Jessica; a statement the girl herself was quick to back up.

Of course, Severus saw through such claims and knew ultimately Potter was angry at Black for not only nearly blowing the whistle on Potter's jealousy ploy with Jess, but also for daring to imply that Lily's affections were not only not worth pursuing, but that Potter's quest for her was futile.

The pair clearly missed each other, if the dismal way they sulked around the castle was any indication, but the trouble with the very similar qualities that once brought Black and potter together was that one of those qualities was a feeling of deserving. Both thought themselves owed an apology, so neither would back down, waiting out the other until one begged for forgiveness.

So there they sat, James sulkily agreeing to whatever inane chatter Jess and Meldonna prattled on about, and Sirius feigning interest in the latest antics boasted by Gideon and Fabian.

Sirius cast a forlorn look towards the Hufflepuff table, only to accidentally meet Lupin's eyes and quickly look away, a red steadily rising to his cheeks.

"You'd think you dumped them by the way they're acting," Marlene mussed, elbowing Remus in jest, "You heartbreaker, you."

"It isn't like that," Remus protested, going red in the face, "Sirius and I are just friends— _were_  just friends."

"I don't remember singling out Black in particular, but okay," Marlene muttered smugly to herself, winking at the others.

Severus raised a brow; what on earth was she going on about now?

"So, Peter and I are going to help Hagrid weed his vegetable garden later," Marlene announced, gracelessly reaching down the table to snatch up a tray of honeybuns that Peter loved and passing it to him, "Anyone interested in joining us?"

The question was pointedly directed at Lupin, Marlene determined to assist Peter in piecing back together his friendship with the other boy at any cost.

Flinching under Marlene's gaze, Lupin shrugged, "I'm free this afternoon, I suppose."

Marlene's stern eyes softened with contentment, "Glad to hear it. The rest of you can join too, of course," she added casually.

"Can't," Nesme chirped, "I'm banned from Hagrid's cottage until further notice. Part of my punishment from sneaking off to play with his chickens so much."

"You mean, chasing the chickens," Davis muttered.

Marlene snorted, "Well, what about the rest of you."

"I promised to help Jess with her hair," Lily replied, "But I'll see if I can stop by."

At this Marlene rolled her eyes, "I can't figure out why you're still friends with her. Or Mel for that matter. Those two are the stuffiest pair I've ever met. Nothing's fun to them," she raised her voice a pitch, imitating Jess, " _Marlene, a lady doesn't play Quidditch. A lady doesn't snort when she laughs. A lady never makes rude gestures with a summer sausage at breakfast.'_  Blah, blah, blah, I've heard it all."

"What was that last one?" Davis asked curiously.

"Do not ask," Mary cut in before Marlene could answer.

"She sticks it out the front of her pants and flaps it at people," Lily answered simply.

Nesme dissolved into a fit of giggles while Thea looked mortified.

Marlene shrugged, "What? I was just telling Black that mine was bigger." She nudged a red-faced Peter with her elbow, laughing as his face flushed further.

"Remind me to invite you to one of Slughorn's parties," Severus drawled with a roll of his eyes, "I'm sure that trick would go over well."

"I'll come if you let me bring Peter," Marlene said merrily, linking arms with Peter, "He's the only one not afraid to dance with me."

"Because he doesn't mind if you lead," Lily pointed out with a grin.

"I'm a take charge kind of woman," Marlene said with a shrug, "Some men are intimidated by that."

"Who wouldn't want a woman who can pick you up and carry you like a suitcase," Severus said with a smirk.

Marlene flicked a grape at him, "You're just jealous that you're too tall to be picked up by Lily."

"Actually," Mary butted in, "Lily and Severus aren't togeth—"

Whatever Mary intended to say was cut off by the arrival of the morning post, owls descending over the four tables, laden with newspapers and early mail.

Not subscribing to any paper, Severus expected to received nothing and was therefore rather surprised when a letter was dropped into his eggs by a familiar looking barn owl.

"Is that the school owl you sent out?" Lily asked, "The one with the letters to your relatives?"

"It would appear so…" Severus said warily. Allowing the owl to swipe a piece of bacon so it would leave, Severus picked up the letter it dropped and examined it carefully.

"Is it from them?" Mary asked eagerly.

"Who?" Marlene inquired.

"Sev's grandparents," Mary explained quickly, "Now hush."

"Open it, Sev," Lily urged.

Blocking out the expectant gazes of his friends, Severus flipped the letter over in his hands a few times. It was a plain envelope, standard stationary in the yellowing color found only in wizard parchment. Bearing no return address, the only noteworthy feature on the letter was the wax seal, stamped with a decorative 'P' in thick calligraphy.

'That looks like the Prince's seal,' Severus thought to himself. Slitting the seal with a butter knife, Severus withdrew the letter from inside and unfolded it slowly.

"Well?" Simone asked expectantly, "Don't keep us in suspense. What does it say?"

"It's from the Prince's estate," Severus read aloud, "A barrister Ponderosa to be exact. It says here that he's been informed of my wish to contact my family and would like to meet with me this weekend at his office, on Saturday at noon."

"That's great!" Mary cheered, "Perhaps he wishes to set up a meeting with your grandparents."

Severus shook his head, "They would have written to me themselves if that were the case. It makes no sense to have their barrister handle it."

"Perhaps they're sick?" Simone suggested, "Maybe the barrister handles all their affairs now and wishes you to meet them before they pass."

"If that's the case, it helps my predicament very little," Severus replied, "I wanted to meet them to see if they could help care for my mum. If they're too sick to function, they can't do much for her."

"Except give you money," Nesme pointed out, "Maybe you have an inheritance from them."

"I find that hard to believe," Severus said, "But even if that were true, it's not what I'm after. Mum would do well back with her family, back to when she was safe and happy. I sort of need living, competent relatives to accomplish that."

Simone scratched her chin, "Still, you can't deny that coming into a spot of money would be useful. At least to reimburse the Longbottom's for taking care of her."

"Frank's mum has made it clear that if I attempt to give her a single knut she'll give me a set of donkey ears for the insult," Severus deadpanned, "She takes great offense to being paid; something about how she has the wealth to do something solely out of the goodness of her own heart."

The other chuckled at that.

"Oh good luck, Alice," Lily laughed, "Not sure I'd be able to handle a mother-in-law like Mrs. Longbottom."

"Well if Snape's mum gets fixed up, she'll be your mother-in-law," Marlene said in what she probably thought was a helpful way.

Lily chocked in her pumpkin juice, refusing to look at anyone.

Mary gave Marlene a glare, "Mar, they're just friends."

Marlene snorted, "Sure, and I'm the Minister of Magic."

Mary scowled, not appreciating the joke. She regarded Severus and Lily carefully.

Severus and Lily did their best to appear innocent as possible, pointedly avoiding looking at one another.

"Sev…" Mary started questioningly, "Is there something between you two?"

"No," Severus said quickly.

"Absolutely not," Lily jumped in.

"There used to be something," Simone muttered into her cup of tea.

Severus kicked her under the table.

Mary looked between her two friends.

"I thought you were just best friends," she said angrily.

"We are," Severus was quick to assure her, "We're not anything now."

"Now?" Mary asked frowning.

Lily raised her hands placating, "It's nothing. We just flirted a little…that's all."

"Yeah I bet," Simone snorted.

It was Lily's turn to kick her under the table.

Peter cocked his head, befuddled, "So you two actually liked each other?" he didn't seem to notice the twin glares he was receiving from Severus and Lily, lost in thought, "Huh…I guess James was wrong."

"Potter's always wrong," Severus snapped, "But whatever imbecilic thought he had bouncing around in his empty head this time, it is neither here nor there. Lily and I are  _friends_."

"Yeah, but you want to be more, right?" Marlene questioned, "That's what I thought you were getting at before, Lils. What happened there?"

Mary looked outraged, "Lily, do you have feelings for Severus?"

"No!" Lily sputtered, shying away from all the prying eyes, "That's insane—not insane, I mean," she added sending a meaningful look at Severus, "Just…impractical. We're friends….and…and with all that's been going on…well relationships hardly seem ideal right now and—"

"Severus," Mary interrupted, slamming her hands on the table as she stood up, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Without waiting for a response, Mary stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Mary," Lily called, "I…"

The brown-haired girl didn't seem to hear, disappearing out the door and around the corner.

Severus turned to Lily, a remorseful look on his face. A question lingered there as he stared at her.

' _Do you still…?'_

"I should follow her," Severus said instead, standing up as well. He spared Marlene a derisive sneer.

"Nice going, Mckinnon," he said scathingly before leaving as well.

Marlene looked around in confusion.

"What's got their knickers in a twist?" she asked.

"Mary's trying to woo Snape," Simone said bluntly, prompting Thea to drop her face into her palm.

Marlene whistled, "First Lily, now Mary? Is Snape hung like a Hippogriff or something, because I still don't see the appeal?"

The group collectively choked on their breakfasts.

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand the Kneazle's out of the bag!
> 
> How do you think this is going to go over?
> 
> Like I said, Cramped for time, so tah-tah for now!
> 
> Review please!


	76. Nervous Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Severus meeting with his family barrister arrives...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, friends!
> 
> I'm back and ready to rumble. The wedding was awesome; I met some new friends and got drunk while eating pizza and wings. A delightful time!
> 
> So back to making chapters and intriguing my readers. Who's excited?

* * *

Lily stared glumly up at the canopy of her bed with a morose sigh. It was far too early for her to be up, a fact made all the clearer by the soft snores of her dorm mates a few feet away. Still, Lily found herself having woken up before the sun and now sleep eluded her despite her desire to return to the land of slumber.

Today Severus would be meeting with the Barrister of the Prince family. It was everyone's hope that it would bring good news for Severus; a glimmer of hope that he may be able to find help for his mother's diminishing health. The letter requesting Severus appearance had been vague and cryptic, leaving no one quite sure if this day would yield good results or merely disappointment. They could all certainly do with some good news after the week they had had.

Thanks to Marlene's unintentional bungling, Mary and Lily had been sort of on the outs, so to speak. Now overtly suspicious of Lily's feelings for Severus, Mary took less issue with the idea of competition and more so with the fact that Lily had concealed her feelings. In Mary's words, Lily should have told her if there was any sort of relationship between her and Severus, regardless of if it ended.

Apparently, the only reason Mary felt confident in pursuing Severus was that she was under the impression Severus's feelings for Lily were entirely unrequited. Knowing that Severus's crush on Lily was—at one time—reciprocated rattle Mary's resolve, as she'd only thought she had Severus's lingering crush to compete with to win his affections.

Of course, Lily didn't feel it appropriate to point out that she still reciprocated Severus's feelings—not while Mary had every right in the world to be angry at the duplicity. After all, Mary did come to Lily shortly after kissing Sev that first night back from school. Too flummoxed to truly sort through her thoughts, Lily had only nodded dumbly when Mary revealed her intentions to date Severus, doing nothing to indicate Severus was anything more than a friend. In her own dumbfounded shock, she'd unwittingly led Mary to believe she had nothing to worry about; that Severus would be hers in no time and no one would deign to snatch him away.

When confronted by Mary after Marlene let the kneazle out of the bag, Lily was unsure what would be the right response. She wanted to admit she had strong feelings for Severus, but Mary put her on the spot. Moreover, it was obvious the answer Mary was hoping to get was that Lily was over Severus, which couldn't be further from the truth. The distance between them made Lily miss Severus more rather than wane. But she couldn't exactly tell Mary tell without ruining their friendship.

Mary was at least fairly casting blame, as Severus was just as much in the hot seat as Lily, if not more so. Mary was very forthcoming and straightforward with Severus over her feelings for him, so she expected him to at least be as honest with her. When she first brought up his feelings for Lily, the least Severus could have done was reveal that it hadn't been one sided like Mary assumed. He'd deliberately left Mary under the impression that he was just getting over a little crush when in fact things between him and Lily had gone much deeper by that point.

Not that Lily blamed him for clamming up, though. Mary might, but Lily didn't. She could understand Severus wish for privacy in regards to his own personal thoughts and feelings, regardless of how open Mary was willing to be with hers. He also probably worried mentioning his and Lily's blossoming relationship would have caused trouble between her and Mary. Lily honestly was sort of impressed Severus managed to keep so closed lip about it despite how angry he had been at her at the time; he could have easily spilled the beans just to cause a rift between her and Mary.

Mary was being a tad more forgiving with Severus, even though she was made at him. This was probably in part due to her desire to date him, so she didn't want to freeze him out completely.

Lily on the other hand, was getting a frosty cold shoulder from her once best friend. Charming Myrtle's bathroom had been a difficult affair for all involved due to how obviously Mary was freezing Lily out. It was with great difficulty that they managed to untie forces to cast the spells at all, the awkward tension hanging over them making concentration a little more of a struggle to maintain. Afterwards, Lily walked in uncomfortable silence with Mary back to their dorm.

The most discussion the two managed to have consisted of Mary wrangling a promise from Lily, not that she wouldn't pursue Severus, but if she did decide her feelings for the boy were more than friendship, she'd do Mary the kindness of telling her, rather than going behind her back. Lily was all too willing to agree to that if it meant clearing some of the air with her longtime friend.

Of course…she would have to broach the topic with Mary eventually. As much as she cared about Mary's happiness, it was painful to ignore her own longing for Severus. The more she examined her feelings for him and the longer they were a part, the more Lily strongly suspected her feelings went beyond a crush or puppy love. It wasn't some great, big epiphany, so much as the realization that deep down, she just sort of always pictured Severus in her life. A once childhood fantasy of walking down the aisle to him had long ago switch from fantasy to honest hope, even if Lily hadn't realized it. Now the thought of him going off with someone else…hurt.

She didn't want to hurt Mary, so she knew she owed it to the girl to tell her the truth; the whole truth. She didn't really know the depths of Mary's feelings for Severus, but she knew her own heart very well. If she really couldn't stand to be a part from Severus, she needed to be fair to Mary and tell her friend that she intended to pursue Sev.

But when was the right time? The truth was sure to upset Mary and with all the stress Severus was facing with the impending meeting with the Prince's barrister, causing a rift between the three of them would be a terrible decision. He didn't need teenager drama on top of far more important issues. Severus was spread much too thin already with the diary and diadem and now finding proper care for his mother. Adding a love triangle to the list would be too much on his already burdened shoulders.

Lily supposed she could wait a little while longer to mend things romantically with Severus. It would require some damage control with Mary and probably a bit of awkwardness for a while, but it would be worth it if Lily and Severus could be together again.

Lily cringed inwardly; was she being selfish? She knew Severus still loved her—at least she was pretty sure he did. Severus's most tragic trait was his inability to hate her no matter how badly Lily screwed up or treated him. During the incident at the lake, Lily not only ridiculed Severus for his misguided anger, but also threw his apology away like it were trash, effectively stomping on all that remained of their friendship.

Severus had been in the wrong too—he acknowledged that more times than Lily could count—but that didn't change the callous way Lily tossed him aside, all to make life more convenient and easy for herself among her Slytherin-hating peers. Finding humor in his humiliation was also a pretty nasty thing to do, one Lily would forever question her sanity and heart for having ever smiled at.

After disregarding Severus's feelings and circumstance so harshly, he had every reason to hate Lily. Yet he cared for her, loved her still, enough so that he threw his life on the line for her with Avery. Lily wanted to believe that he was still capable of loving her now, even after her cold words over his darker hobbies.

She'd need to apologize to Severus first, though. Severus deserved a proper one. Lily couldn't say she truly agree with what he was doing, nor did she think she'd ever be okay with it. However…would it really be so wrong to turn a blind eye to his dabbling in dark magic if it meant they could be together? It wasn't like he was doing his research to vindictively hurt others. He'd said it himself, it was a defensive measure. Lily was steadfast in her resolve to fight this war without wielding the spells and magic that separated her from You-Know-Who's ilk, but surely Severus having a backup plan couldn't hurt if playing fair failed.

Lily didn't want to kill. She didn't wanted to hurt, or maim, or seriously injure. Not if she could help it. It wasn't in her nature to harm others. Even the few times she'd managed to wound someone with mere words—while seeming satisfying in the heat of the moment—left a hollow, sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to relish the pain of others, didn't want to hurt someone and think "they deserved it". As much as she both feared and despised Avery, Lily doubted she'd be able to do more than block his own attacks if he ever came after her. She wouldn't be able to strike him down; watch the blood drain from his corpse. He'd certainly earned a death so terrible in her book, but Lily doubted she was strong enough to carry such an execution out.

She didn't want Severus to kill either, unwilling to entertain the thought of him damaging his soul for her. That spell he was working on was terrifying enough with just the fact that it nearly took his life. But to have Severus put his own humanity on the line to use it on someone just so he could protect her…

She'd stand by Severus if he wished to pursue this path, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to help and protect him enough that he never felt the need to use it.

As for his Occlumency…well Lily would just have to ask Severus to only use it when he felt he had to. She'd just have to accept that maybe Rosier and his friends were up to foul enough things to forfeit their right to privacy. Anyone who sided with Avery and Mulciber after what they had done was surely brewing terrible ideas of their own. So long as Severus didn't go around prying into random people's heads as he please, Lily could tolerate such a questionable skill…she'd try at least.

Lily sighed, watching the first creeping rays of sunlight flicker into the room, catching on the sun catcher in the window and sending a twinkling firefly-like glow across the floor and ceiling. A beam of sunlight trailed across the floor to land on Meldonna's sleeping facing, prompting the girl to grimace and roll over with a loud and rather undignified snort.

Lily turned to Mary's bed, the sheets untouched from the night prior. Ever since that day at breakfast, Mary had been sleeping in Marlene's dorm, something the older girl didn't protest out of guilt of her big mouth starting the trouble. This meant Lily had even less opportunities to hash things out with Mary and patch things up. Mary was normally gone from the dorms the moment she woke and sat between Jess and Meldonna at every meal, ensuring Lily wouldn't broach the topic with her around prying eyes and gossiping mouths.

It didn't help that the headmaster had turned down Mary's request to accompany Severus to the barrister's office. Even worse, Lily was given an okay to join Severus instead. The reasoning given was apparently that Lily served as a pseudo sister in the eyes of the law thanks to her parent's guardianship of Severus. Lily doubted anyone would have those sentiments if they knew how close the pair had become over winter break, but she wasn't about to bring that up and nix her chance to go with Severus in support.

With the headmaster's decision came the unpleasant reveal to Mary that Severus was living with Lily and only one bedroom away from him all holidays. Lily was regretting not telling Mary about the living arrangements from the start; at least then, Mary would have had time to come to peace with it before finding out how close Lily and Severus were. She also dreaded the idea of Mary ever finding out Lily used to sneak into Severus's bed every night back home.

Mary was understandably upset that the object of her affections and his childhood crush would be gallivanting alone together off school grounds, though it wasn't as if the pair were going to dinner or anything. Sitting around a stuffy legal office with indiscernible law speak being spewed at you didn't exactly make for a romantic outing.

Still, Mary was quite cross with the idea of the pair of them alone, so Lily was thankful Mary was avoiding her. It made it easier to calm her nerves in preparation for the meeting if she didn't have to worry about one of her closest friends glaring daggers at her all day and making cutting remarks under her breath.

The sun eventually took its rightful place in the morning sky as the occupants of Lily's dorm began to stir and still Lily stayed in bed, thinking.

The door to the dorm room suddenly banged open, rousing Jess from slumber abruptly and startling a dozing Mel.

"Need a sweater," Mary said, striding in, her words clipped.

"She's coming to watch me practice on the pitch," Marlene announced, flouncing in with a swagger.

"Up and at 'em, ladies," she crowed, slugging Jessica with a pillow.

"It's Saturday!" Jess groaned, withdrawing further into her blankets, "Too early for this."

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Nonsense, the earlier the better. Means I won't have to compete with anyone else for the practice space."

"Help me find my sweater and we'll go, Marlene," Mary ordered sharply, digging through her trunk.

"You should have brought it with you last night," Marlene pointed out, "You knew I'd be dragging you out there."

"Better yet," Jess quipped from her huddle mass of blankets, "You should have slept here so you didn't wake us up barging in like a Erumpent!"

"Why are you sleeping over Marlene's?" Meldonna asked curiously.

"No reason," Mary replied with feigned casualty.

"There must be some reason," Mel pressed, "Right Lily?"

Lily looked down at her blankets.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," she murmured.

Jess looked back and forth between Mary and Lily warily.

"Okay, you two," she started, a gleam of suspicion in her eyes, "What's going on between you? Don't think I haven't noticed that you two haven't said more than a word in passing to each other all week."

"Did you two have a fight?" Mel asked curiously.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mary insisted, "We're fine."

She fixed Lily with a forced smile, "Right, Lily?"

"Uh…yeah," Lily said, nodding slowly, "Completely fine."

"You two would be terrible actresses," Jess deadpanned, not believing them for a second.

She turned to Marlene, "You must know what's going on."

Marlene held her hands up, "Hey, I don't know nothing! I'm just as in the dark as you are."

"Why don't we believe you?" Meldonna asked skeptically.

Marlene shrugged, "Beats me, maybe you have trust issues." She began to back out of the door nervously, "You should really work on that, you know. It's never good to go around suspecting others over nothing."

She backed fully out of the room, "Hey, Mary, I'll be right out here, okay?"

The door shut unanimously after her.

Jess turned back to Lily, arms crossed, "So…what's the story here?"

"There is no story," Lily lied, "Honest, you guys are making something out of nothing."

"Ooh, is this about a boy?" Meldonna squealed, her eyes lighting up eagerly, "Is that why you're fighting?"

"No—,"

"Congratulations, Mel," Mary said drolly, "You've cracked the case."

"I did?" Meldonna asked excitedly. Beside her, Jessica lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Rowan Gowan," Mary intoned simply, "Seems Lily fancies him as much as I do."

"Gowan?" Jessica asked, eyes wide, "That handsome seventh year in Ravenclaw?"

Mary nodded, "I've been thinking of asking him to Hogsmeade, but Lily apparently likes him too. Things are…awkward at the moment."

"Oh, I love a good love triangle!" Meldonna cried with glee, "Who do you think he fancies?"

"Hard to say," Mary said with a shrug, "Guess we'll just have to wait and see."

She spared Lily a passing glance before picking up her sweater and leaving the room, Mel and Jess wrapped in a flurry of gossip.

Lily felt a rush of gratitude for Mary; it seems her friend wasn't angry enough at her to reveal who their true crush was. Lily was thankful she hadn't been thrown to the wolves that were Mel and Jess as the pair would surely harass her doubly if they knew Severus was the one she wanted, their years of prejudice against Slytherin's making them as unreasonable as James to see the good In Sev.

Jess would most likely spread this 'secret' around the school in no time, further deflecting suspicion from the real object of Lily and Mary's affections. She'd no doubt tell James and seeing as Remus had assured everyone that Peter wouldn't blab, the only source James would have was a very uninformed Jessica.

Though Lily wonder why it was so important to keep things quiet from James. Surely he'd moved on from his crush on her by now, considering how close he seemed to be to Jess.

Jess and Mel would need Lily very little for their gossip as it were, despite the topic being about her. Instead, they'd be too busy caught up in telling anyone they saw about the juicy tidbit they'd come across, spreading the rumor far and wide. They'd probably spend most of their time eyeing poor Rowan and bursting into giggles, confusing the lad endlessly as they waggled their eyebrows at Lily and descended into more hushed whisperings of excitement.

Really, those two needed very little to excite them.

Lily took the opportunity to dress while her friends chattered incessantly to one another.

"I'm going," she called over her shoulder, all but ignored as Mel walked Jess through random sightings of Rowan over the past year and counting it as proof he must fancy Lily over Mary.

Poor Rowan Gowan.

 

{page break}

 

"You sure you don't want anymore, Snape," Simone asked carefully, "Who knows when the meeting will end; you might not get a chance to eat again until dinner."

"I'm fine," Severus said, peering at her over the rim of his coffee mug, "I don't think I could stomach much right now."

Simone looked like she wanted to argue, but she merely pressed her lips into a thin line, staying silence. Normally she'd be more than willing to override Severus's protest and shovel a heaping helping of eggs onto his plate, but their little heart to heart recently seemed to have changed her. As hard as it was for someone as headstrong as Simone, she was making a valiant effort to stop pushing her own viewpoint as right.

"If you're sure," she said quietly, turning back to her own breakfast.

Severus gave her a slight smile, "I am…thanks."

"Are you excited, Severus?" Thea asked, wisely changing the subject.

"Excited it's the most accurate word, I suppose," Severus replied, "Nervous, is more like it."

"Understandable," Thea nodded. She casually passed Simone a napkin wrapped crescent under the table, not acknowledging the girl's questioning look, "But surely you're looking somewhat forward to it? This will be the first chance for you to actually get to know about your heritage."

"I supposed so," Severus agreed, "But who knows what I'm actually going to learn about my family? The picture mother painted for me when she first explained her banishment isn't a very comforting image."

"You're not wrong," Thea conceded. She nudged Simone with her elbow when Severus's gaze dropped to his plate.

Turning baffled eyes to Thea, Simone watched her friend subtly dart her eyes across the table to an expectant Davis.

Understanding lit up Simone's eyes.

"However, that doesn't mean there isn't anything redeemable about your family," Thea continued, holding Severus attention, "Perhaps age has softened them."

As she spoke, Simone carefully passed the napkin-clad pastry under the table to Davis.

Severus nodded reluctantly, "I know everyone keeps saying that—and I'm not ruling it out as a possibility—but it's a slim one."

Davis passed the bundle to Nesme who sneakily dropped it into Severus's bag, successfully ensuring the nervous boy would at least have a snack later if he grew hungry from skipping breakfast.

Lily plopped down into a set beside Severus, "Morning everyone."

Simone inclined her head to the girl, "Morning, Evans. No MacDonald again I see."

Lily sighed, grabbing a muffin"Unfortunately not. She's still mad at me."

She risked a glance at Severus, but when she caught the boy's gaze, they both looked away in awkward embarrassment.

"She can't stay mad at you forever," Simone assured, "You're best friends; at some point she'll have to calm down and take your feelings into account for once. You've been doing that more than enough for her."

"I'm confused," Lily said in exasperation, "Did  _everyone_  but Mary know about me and Sev?"

"Yup," Davis said.

"Same here," Simone added while Thea nodded.

"I thought you guys were dating last year," Nesme admitted, looking around in confusion, "That's what I thought the falling out at the lake was…a breakup."

"We were just  _friends_  then," Lily sputtered, accidentally spraying muffin bits everywhere.

"And now?" Nesme asked innocently.

"We're…we're," Lily looked at Severus, "I mean we're friends  _now_ , but…"

"It's complicated," Severus stated simply, "Admittedly there was something between us, but words were exchanged that have made our standing with each other rather tentative at best."

"While we're on that subject," Lily said, "Sev, I been meaning to speak to you about it for a long time."

Severus sighed, "Now's hardly the time, Lily…"

"It needs to be said," Lily cut in, "Listen, about what we talked about on the train…"

Severus closed his eyes wearily.

"I concede to your points," Lily said firmly.

Severus blinked, turning to face her, "What?"

"I'm saying that I can accept your point of view," Lily explained, "I may not be on board with it, but I can see how that doesn't mean you're wrong."

"Lily…" Severus breathed, stunned.

"I know you already know I never meant to say what I said about comparing you to your father," Lily went on, holding up her hand, "But that doesn't mean I don't owe you an apology for it."

She took a deep breath.

"Sev," she began, "I'm sorry I said such awful things to you. You're nothing like your father."

Severus's mouth worked noiselessly, speechless.

"And nothing you could ever do would make you like him, Sev," Lily added, "because you do what you do for those you care about…to protect them. As much as I don't like that spell of yours, I know you're using it because you want me safe. I…I'm touched you'd make such sacrifices for me."

"But that doesn't mean I want you to make them," Lily pushed on before Severus could say anything, "Sev, I know you'd never do anything like that unless pushed, but that still doesn't mean I want you to ever be in that situation in the first place. Look…I know I can't change the reality of war…but I don't want you out there fighting by yourself for me. You mean just as much to me as I do to you; losing you would hurt just as much as if you lost me."

"So what are you saying?" Severus asked, finally finding his voice.

"I'm saying that throw yourself away on some gallant gesture for me," Lily pleaded, "Don't put yourself on the front lines if you don't have to. You're a Slytherin, not a careless Gryffindor. Please, Sev," she took his hands in her own, "Let's play it safe…only go that far if we have no other choice. Killing someone can change you, Sev…I don't want you to take that step unless you absolutely have to."

"I…I don't know what to say…" Severus admitted, "Lily…of course I'm not just going to dive into this war head on. I'm not James bloody Potter, for Merlin's sake. I just…" he looked into Lily's eyes, "I know what people like Avery are capable of…and if it comes to it—" he left the statement hanging in the air.

Lily smiled, "Then you'll protect me…I know that Sev. I just hope it doesn't ever have to come to that."

"Me either," Severus said, "And…the Occlumency?"

Lily sighed, "I admit I'm still not a fan of rooting around in someone else's head, but…I've done some research on the subject and I guess at second glance…it's not all bad."

"You've researched it?" Severus asked.

Lily nodded, "Fibbed my way into a permission slip to access the restricted section. Turns out there are some valid good uses for Occlumency. In therapy mostly, though the treatments are still relatively rare and uncommon outside of extreme cases. Still, if looking into someone's mind could help them rather than hurt…I guess it's not as dark as I first thought."

"So…" Severus ventured, "You understand?"

"I understand," Lily huffed, "I may not like it, but I understand why you're doing it. I'm not going to stop you."

"That's all I wanted, Lily," Severus said, relief flooding his features, "Lily…you really…this means so much to me and…"

"Hey, it's Hagrid!" Nesme cried, ever the moment-ruiner, "He's coming this way."

"He must be here to bring us to the gates," Lily stated, "It's for the best, my stomach's in knots this morning and I doubt I could eat anymore."

She stood up, holding a hand out for Severus, "Ready, Sev?"

Severus gave her a genuine smile, "Of course," he said, taking her proffered hand.

Severus stood up, looking down into his bag, "…Where did this roll come from?"

"No give backs!" Nesme shouted as Lily ushered Severus out of the Great Hall.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually smuggled food into my friends bags before. Usually for their own nutrition...sometimes because we're heading to the movies and I ran out of room to smuggle a sandwich into my purse.
> 
> Anyone else ever eaten an entire meal in the movie theater? Hard to cover the smell of chicken and mashed potatoes...But more filling than popcorn!
> 
> It was about time Lily hashed things out with Severus. She's been holding off mainly because of Severus desire to avoid the subject (since he worried it would lead to more arguing), but now that the truths out-thanks to Marlene-she's got no reason to keep dancing around the subject. She had Severus once, she pushed him away, and now she wants to fix things.
> 
> Review, folks!


	77. Ponderosa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair meet the Prince's Barrister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my wonderful readers!
> 
> Everyone enjoying October? I know I sure am. It's only this time of year where my normally witchy wardrobe makes sense to people!
> 
> So, I've seen a lot of celebration in the comment section over Lily's apology. A lot of you are overjoyed the pair are back together...but are they? I mean, what a lukewarm way to become a couple again. "I'm sorry," "Apology accepted, let's move on." They haven't really spoken about whether they're together again or anything. 
> 
> But that may change...very, very soon...

* * *

The trip into Westminster was a subdued one, filled with sparse conversation and nervous silence. Neither Severus nor Lily really knew what to expect from the impending meeting with the barrister, this Ponderosa. It left them in a state of uncertainty. They didn't know whether to view the meeting with trepidation or optimism, it could easily go either way and the lack of indication in the barrister's brief letter left the possibilities up in the air.

Now they sat in a posh little waiting room, dusting floo powder off their clothes while a witch with a pinched face watched them pointedly over the rim of her magenta framed glasses.

"So," Lily said slowly, "Are you excited?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat; the cushions were too plush, too mushy, "Everyone's asked me that, and the answers is becoming more 'no' by the minute. Excitement isn't really the best way to describe this; it isn't like I've been invited to meet Nicholas Flamel. Nervous, perhaps. Wary, certainly."

"Why wary?" Lily inquired.

Severus shrugged, "A number of outcomes could come from this, Lily. Sure, this could be the grand beginning of reconnecting with my family, but this could just as easily be the end of my search for them. They might want me to stop pursuing them, worried my relation to them besmirches the Prince lineage. They could demand back what few items me and mum have from her youth on the grounds that they were bought with Prince money and therefore Prince property."

"I hardly doubt anyone would be that petty over a few old school books, Sev," Lily said.

Severus shrugged again, "Well you and I would like to believe people are better than that, but who really knows. I mean, what kind of family casts out their own daughter for falling in love? Even if it was with the scum of the earth," he added morosely.

"Okay, so let's say they haven't changed their ways," Lily ventured, "That still doesn't mean that this meeting will be a bad one."

"How do you mean?" Severus asked.

"Think about it," Lily said, "You told me most Purebloods are all about appearance. Plenty of them with stances on Blood Purity have been reigning in their behavior because they don't want to be associated with the likes of You-Know-Who. They can say and think anything behind closed doors, but to the public they have to maintain an image of social, charitable, high society."

"So?" Severus asked.

"So," Lily rolled her eyes, "You've been in the paper constantly for your bravery and sacrifice for me and Mary, then with your father's death and the leak about how he treated you. With how much of a spotlight is on you, don't you think your relatives might not want someone to turn a scrutinizing eye on them and question why they haven't reached out to you and your mum after all you've both been through. I bet it would look pretty bad of them to keep enforcing the disownment."

"So you think they might wish to reach out to me to save face," Severus said blandly.

"I'm just saying it would certainly helped their image," Lily pointed out, "And that could benefit you. Having connections, even ones forged insincerely or out of obligation, are better than nothing. With an attachment to the Prince family name, more opportunities could open up for you."

Severus mulled it over, "I suppose…"

Lily nudged Severus, "You and Simone both said that being muggleborn or halfblood tends to get you overlooked, despite your skills and talents. Wouldn't it be nice to have the connections to get a good potion's apprenticeship?"

"Not as good as earning it by my own merit," Severus huffed, "And anyway, I'm not doing this for my own benefit anyway, Lily. I'm doing this for my mother. Money and titles are all well and good, but they mean little to me if these people are still the same muggle hating family they once were. Being around that hatred would hardly do my mother any good."

"And you really think her reconnecting with her family can help?" Lily asked, genuinely interested.

Severus nodded, "You haven't seen what my mum's been like, Lily. All her waking moments are spent trapped in this dream world of her youth. It's like she's crafted a whole new reality for herself, one were her married life and her magical life intermingle. I may not be able to give her a husband who doesn't drink—or who isn't dead, for that matter—but I can at least try and reconnect her with her youth."

Severus turned to Lily, "From the few things mum ever shared with me of her family, she was happy with them. Back before she married my dad, her mother and father doted on her endlessly. If that side of them still exists somewhere, I really think they could help my mum get back to reality. If I can provide a world for mum that's better than the fantasy she's created, she'll come back. I just know it."

Lily didn't look convinced, "And if she doesn't?"

Severus looked away, "I'd rather not think about that right now."

"Okay," Lily acquiesced. She slipped her hand into Severus's intertwining their fingers.

A bell sounded from the pinched face witch's desk.

"Mr. Ponderosa will see you now," she said in a nasally voice.

Standing as one, Lily and Severus approached the office with careful steps as one would a sleeping dragon. Hand resting on the doorknob, Severus looked back at Lily for reassurance, receiving a comforting squeeze to his hand in response.

The office was massively oversized compared to the expensively cozy yet cramped lobby. High tray ceilings stretched up over their heads in deep, rich hues of mahogany and rosewood browns. Floor to ceiling shelves lined the walls, exotic little statues and sculptures from far off lands sat meticulously spaced settings between even numbered stacks of books.

A large desk stood in the middle of the room, placed before a large window that overlooked a set of topiaries and hedges that Severus remembered seeing outside on his way in.

Despite the overwhelming size of the desk, it was remarkably bare. Papers were lined neatly to the farthest corner in a tidy little stack and three quills and a glass inkwell had been arranged on the right. Other than that, nothing. There were no knickknacks, no folders, not even a photo of one's family.

A door on the far side of the room, in a place that no door or adjoining room could logically fit—bloody magic—opened up, admitting who Severus could only presume was Ponderosa.

He was a fairly tall man, thin, but not gangly, with dark black hair combed back and swept to one side. His face was all sharp features and points, with small, keen eyes and high cheekbones. His lips were thin to near non-existent and the smallest, most painstakingly symmetrical goatee decorated his chin.

"Severus Tiernan Snape, I presume?" he spoke in a high, somewhat nasally voice.

"That's what the T stands for?" Lily whispered.

"Shh," Severus hissed. He nodded to Ponderosa, "That would be correct."

Ponderosa smiled suddenly, an act so foreign looking on so tight and stiff a face it almost seemed as if his face would crack in half.

"Lovely to meet you," he said, striding forward with his hand already outstretched. When the man walked, it gave his prim and proper appearance a far more gawky and clumsy feel to it, wide steps and clunky movements. It was much like watching a Great Dane stumble about on their gangly legs, "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I understand you must be quite busy with your studies so I appreciate you taking time for this."

"No trouble," Severus stumbled out, his arm jerked around with Ponderosa's handshake. He was relieved with the man released him, "I mean, it's the weekend and all."

"Oh right, right," Ponderosa said, as if just remembering that himself, "No classes on weekends, right, right. Well come, sit, sit," he urged them to the pair of chairs in front of his desk, "I knew your mother, you know. Grew up with her; my father was formerly your family's barrister. Then I took over." He spoke a mile a minute, animated and lively.

"I'm sure you have some questions," Ponderosa continued, coming around to sit at his desk. He sat expectantly, steepling his fingers and looking brightly at his visitors.

Severus looked questioningly at Lily, at a loss, "Um…yes. For starters, I find it a little odd that my family themselves didn't contact me…"

"Of course," Ponderosa said understandingly, "Well that's because I contact you on behalf of someone who couldn't do so. You see, I am Saoirse Aurnia Prince, the matriarch of the Prince family."

"I see," Severus nodded, "So my grandmother."

"Oh no," Ponderosa said with a shake of his head, "That would be Siobhan Aileen Prince. No, this would be your Great Grandmother."

"I'm confused," Severus stated, "What does my Great Grandmother have to do with anything? Why is she the matriarch? Did something happen to my grandparents?"

Ponderosa frowned, "Saoirse Prince has always been the head of the Prince family, ever since the mantle was passed down by her father, Tadgh Ignatius Prince."

Severus shook his head, more confused now than ever, "I don't understand. I thought my grandparents were the head of the family. How else would they be able to disown my mother? Was that approved by this Saoirse?"

Ponderosa looked just as perplexed as Severus, "Mr. Snape, what exactly do you know of your mother and her family?"

"Mostly what my mother told me," Severus admitted with a shrug, "That they were purebloods…that she was close to her mum and dad. Then, that she was banished for marrying a muggle."

"I'm afraid there's been a bit of a misunderstanding," Ponderosa stated, "Severus—may I call you Severus—your grandparents didn't disown Eileen…your Great Grandmother did."

"Saoirse?" Severus bawked, "Mum never mentioned her Grandmother even being alive. What did she have to do with anything?"

"That's what we're here to discuss," Ponderosa explained, "You see, it was brought to my attention that you'd tried to get in contact with my client's family for some time now. At first, I had no idea you bore any relation to the Princes. Since you aren't official acknowledged as an heir of the family, there'd be no documentation of you."

"But with a little digging," he went on, "I managed to find the one thing that  _couldn't_  deny your lineage."

Ponderosa opened up his desk and rummaged around in the contents for a minute. With an 'ah-ha!' he pulled a tightly folded up square from within the confines of the desk.

"Just a moment," he said, drawing his wand. Setting the square down in the center of the desk, he carefully tapped it with his wand twice.

Immediately the square began to grow rapidly in size, spreading across the desk at an alarming rate as it started to unfold.

"Careful," Ponderosa said to no one, snatching up his inkwell before it could be upended by the growing square, "It is rather large."

Eventually, the square's growth ceased, the item now covering nearly Ponderosa's entire desk and hanging off the sides. It was only after Severus noticed the image of a tree with faces hanging off its branches instead of fruit that he realized what he was looking at.

"The Prince Family Tree," Ponderosa said proudly, "Well…tapestry to be accurate. Normally these would be displayed in the main sitting room, but for some reason I found this old thing shrunk up and stored away in one of my client's storage rooms…I probably shouldn't have been rooting around in there."

"Look, Sev," Lily breathed, "It's you."

Just where Lily was pointing sat an oval frame much like the others hanging off a tree branch. Severus's own unimpressed visage stared back at him from the tapestry, thoroughly uninterested in being gawked at.

"That's right," Ponderosa said, tapping the picture, "At first, all I had ever heard of yoyu was when you made the papers back this past summer, then again when your father passed. The reporters mentioned very little of your mother, so I didn't make the connection. I couldn't fathom what it was you wanted with the Prince family. Then I found this," he tapped the tapestry again, "and things became clear to me. See, there's your mother, and branching off from her is you."

"And my father?" Severus inquired. There was no picture of Severus's loathsome sire.

"That's him," Ponderosa said, pointing to a shriveled, rotten little fruit dried up on a twig, "The tapestry was enchanted to leave off the wrong sort of people as deemed by Saoirse."

"So because he's muggle," Severus said flatly, "Unsurprising."

Ponderosa shook his head, "We're still not on the same page here. Severus, Saoirse didn't take issue with your father's lineage."

"Oh really," Severus snorted in disbelief.

"No," Ponderosa continued unperturbed, "It would be rather silly for her to take issue with him while her own son-in-law was a muggleborn."

"Was a what?" Lily gaped.

"Could you maybe repeat that?" Severus asked in stunned bafflement.

"Your grandfather was a muggleborn," Ponderosa explained, "Technically, that would make Eileen half blood—or three quarter blood, but no one does the math. However, its generally accepted by wizarding society that so long as both parents are magical, the child is considered pureblood."

"My mother never eluded to any of her family bearing muggle heritage," Severus stated.

"I'm not surprised," Ponderosa said, "Saoirse didn't go around introducing him as such at every party. To most people, Brion Cullen—that's your grandfather—was a Nouveau Riche who integrated himself into high society, a virtual unknown. His family is relatively unknown to wizarding England, but they were exactly very prosperous merchants. Brion applied his magical education to his family trade and managed to amass quite a great deal of wealth. Even with the muggle-wizard conversion, it is still a good sum of money. When he asked for Siobhan's hand, it was far too profitable of a union for Saoirse to turn down."

"But she still wasn't fond of muggles," Severus clarified.

"Well of course she wasn't," Ponderosa agreed, "But then, most wizards weren't exactly fond of muggles at the time, even if they didn't hate them. The 1920's was a sort of revival of the religious based hate muggles applied to magical folk, both here and in the Americas. Regardless, Saoirse would have been a fool to turn down a bridegroom offering so much for her daughter, and a hypocrite if she rejected others for their blood thereafter."

"Then why did she disown my mother?" Severus asked.

Ponderosa grimaced, "That's where things get a little complicated."

Ponderosa strode over to one of the nearest bookshelves, reaching up to one of the higher shelves. What he pulled down was not a book, but in actuality, a stack of papers tightly bound together in a thick leather folder.

"You see, Severus," Ponderosa began, "I know I said your geat grandmother was responsible for disowning Eileen, but that's not wholly correct. As far as the outside world knows, your mother never  _was_  disowned…she was missing."

"Missing?" Severus asked, "How?"

"She just vanished from the wizarding world," Ponderosa explained, "No one knew where she had gone or what had become of her. Not even her own parents had a clue where she went. Poor things; they looked for her for years."

"That can't be possible," Severus sputtered, "They're the ones who sent my mum packing. She said so."

"Did she ever actually say who cut her off from the family?" Ponderosa pried.

"Well…no," Severus admitted, "She spoke often of her mother and father. I had no idea her grandmother was even still alive. When she mentioned she was disowned and couldn't go back…I mean, I just assumed…"

"Assumptions can make fools of us, Severus," Ponderosa advised, "Siobhan and Brion had no idea where Eileen went. Not even her grandfather Septimus knew; he died of heartbreak, saddest thing. However, his wife…Saoirse…she knew. Oh, she knew plenty."

Ponderosa waved his wand and the tapestry folded itself back into a square before shrinking down to miniscule size again.

"You see," Ponderosa said, carefully realigning the quills and inkwell back on his desk; he was a peculiar man, "There was no statement of disownment ever issued publicly. Normally, when a family disowns someone, the barrister draws up the official paperwork laying out the terms, any clauses or litigation, etc. However, there wasn't anything of the sort with Eileen. As far as wizard law recognizes, Eileen was and still is, a Prince."

"However," Ponderosa continued, raising his hand to silence any questions by Severus, "When I realized who you were I did a little digging. It was odd to me that Saoirse possessed the tapestry citing your existence, yet made no former acknowledgements of you. If she really was the grieving grandmother she claimed to be, wouldn't she have found it important to reveal that the tapestry showed she had a great grandson as well, someone else to search for? Yet she kept silent about this, even hid the family tree."

"So I did some searching through the personal records," Ponderosa explained, "And found this."

He slid an official looking document across the table to them.

"What am I looking at?" Severus asked.

"A marriage arrangement," Ponderosa revealed.

"Eileen Prince…" Severus read, "And… _Alphard Black?"_

"Sev's mum was going to marry Sirius cousin?" Lily asked in amazement.

"I take it this Sirius is the recently disowned heir of the House of Black?" Ponderosa ventured, "Yes, it would seem that was the plan, though judging by the lack of any other signatures on the form, neither Eileen's parents nor Saoirse husband were aware of this arrangement. I imagine Saoirse intended to reveal it at a later time."

"From what I've heard, Alphard is considerably reasonable and sane compared to his relatives…how mum go from engaged to him to marry to Tobias?" Severus asked in puzzlement.

Ponderosa tapped the parchment, "Look at the date, parties from both families signed it in March 1959. Eileen went missing the following month."

"She ran away," Lily whispered.

"And then she probably met my dad at some pub and nine months later I popped out," Severus huffed.

Ponderosa shook his head, "Not quite. The betrothal agreement was signed near the end of March. Eileen disappeared in April. And  _you_ ," he pointed at Severus, "Were born January of 1960, approximately nine months later."

Severus stared at him, "She was already pregnant with me when she left."

Ponderosa nodded, "Now, details are still a little hazy due to lack of concrete evidence, but how do you think it would go over with the Saoirse that her granddaughter got pregnant and ruined her whole plan to get her hands on the Blacks fortune?"

"Poorly, I'd imagine," Severus replied.

"Poorly indeed," Ponderosa agreed, "And how would the Blacks react to the bride to be becoming pregnant with a muggle's child?"

Severus's expression grew dark, "They'd kill it."

Ponderosa nodded with a grimace, "Unfortunately given their history, yes. But you're still alive. Even if the marriage were called off, the Blacks would consider it a great insult to their family that you exist at all. It would be a testament to Eileen preferring a muggle to their noble blood. They wouldn't have let your mother just up and leave to marry your father and have you. So…they must never have been told."

"It is my belief," Ponderosa went on, that my client gave your mother an ultimatum, either terminate the pregnancy and marry Alphard, or—if she wished to keep you without the Blacks finding out…leave, and never return."

"That's terrible," Lily said, horrified, "She'd really hold the life of a baby over someone's head?"

"Saoirse is many things," Ponderosa admitted, "Ambitious, driven, and prideful. Warm, she is not. That fact that she lives on only moderate wealth bothers her. She has probably always felt she deserved more. Alphard Black had quite an inheritance waiting for him from his father; I believe Saoirse would be quite eager to get her hands on it."

"There is one more bit of evidence," Ponderosa added, opening his desk. He set out in front of them a stack of yellowing, wrinkling envelopes, all bound together in twine.

"These letters were found in Saoirse's study," Ponderosa stated, "All nameless, all unopened. They're addressed to Siobhan and Brion Prince, your grandparents. The return address reads—"

"Spinners End," Severus read aloud, staring at the letters.

"They never made it to their intended recipients," Ponderosa said sadly, "They been hidden in Saoirse's study for years. She probably never wanted her family to find out Eileen was alive somewhere."

Ponderosa shook his head, tutting to himself.

"Poor Eileen," he bemoaned, "She was always such a quiet, sweet girl. I never imagined she'd been treated like this."

Severus stared listlessly at the stack of letters.

"So if my mother had chosen to marry a Black," he said hollowly, "She would have had a stable life in exchange for ending her pregnancy…but she chose exile and was stuck with Tobias…all because of me…"

"Oh Sev, I'm sure it's more complicated than that," Lily assured him, wrapping an arm over Severus's shoulders.

"You've explained your reasoning for calling me here," Severus pushed forward, face set, "Now onto why I agreed to come."

"My mother is sick, Mr. Ponderosa," Severus said simply, "She has been for a long time, but losing her home and her husband seems to have worsen it."

Concern and sympathy overtook Ponderosa's features, "I'm sorry to hear that. The Prince's have some marvelous doctors who would be more than willing to make house calls."

"It's not physical," Severus interrupted, "My mum is unwell in the head, so to speak. I've always noticed a bit of vacant detachment in my mother's eyes; she was often somewhere else mentally when her and father's fighting came to blows. But lately, she has retreated into a world wholly constructed by her imagination. A world where my father wasn't a bastard, one where she was never cast out by her family."

"It's growing worse," Severus confessed, "As time passes, what little remains of my mother's sanity is waning. I had hoped reconnecting her with her parents would give her something good in reality to cling to."

Ponderosa's eyes grew sad, pitying almost.

"I'm afraid that isn't possible," he said woefully, "Eileen's parents passed quite some time ago."

Severus stilled while besides him, Lily sucked in a breath.

"How long have they been dead?" Severus asked softly.

"Seven years," Ponderosa admitted, "You would have been about eight at the time, I believe."

"Is there…" Severus trailed off, wetting his lips, "is there anyone else of the family remaining?"

Ponderosa looked away remorsefully, "Only one, I'm afraid."

 

{page break}

 

Severus stood in the doorway, staring down at the wrinkled, prone form lying in bed.

"She spends most of her time sleeping now," Ponderosa explained. He'd brought them through to the Prince estate by floo network.

"I'll try not to wake her," Severus promised, taking a step forward.

Saoirse Prince was a frail, tiny woman in her advanced age, most of her size eaten away by gradual weight loss as she lingered well into her considerable years. Most of her hair had fled her body aside from a sparse smattering of wispy white still clinging to the crown of her head. Her face was comprised mostly of wrinkles now, eyes set deep in her head of sagging, shriveled skin and hollowed cheeks.

Severus wanted to hit the woman before him; a realization so startling it unnerved him. This was a frail, incredibly defenseless old woman and all her wanted to do was grasp her by the shoulders and shake the life out of her.

Severus took a step closer.

"I should hate you," Severus admitted quietly, "I should hate you with ever fiber of my being..."

She'd ruined his mother's life; he knew now. Her vanity and greed had driven her to throw away her grandchild in so callous a manner, leaving a pregnant and presumably scared young woman to fend for herself in a hard, world she knew nothing about due to her years of pampered privilege. Forced to marry the man who'd trapped her in her predicament, stuck with Tobias because her grandmother was too cruel and selfish to show Eileen leniency...trapped because Severus was growing in her belly…

"I'd like to go," Severus announced suddenly, moving quickly back towards the door, "Let's go before she wakes up."

"Sev!" Lily called out in alarm as Severus brushed past her, "Sev, wait!"

Severus didn't stop until he was safely back inside Ponderosa's office.

"I realize this has all been a lot for you to take in," Ponderosa stated as he stepped out of the floo after Lily, "This is far from a pleasant discovery, I'm sure."

"Understatement," Severus grumbled.

"This is one final matter," Ponderosa said before Severus could make his way for the door, "As Saoirse never legally disowned Eileen that makes you entitled to any rights and property left to inherit. Unfortunately for Saoirse's money lust, Siobhan and her husband left wills for if Eileen should ever be found."

Ponderosa handed over a scroll sealed with the Prince's coat of arms in wax. "Siobhan and Brion left Eileen to inherit their wealth, a great deal of it earned through Brion's own business savvy and therefore not at liberty for Saoirse to claim as Prince property."

"When Saoirse dies, as the last of the line of Prince, the manor will become yours and your mother's home by birthright," Ponderosa went on, "I'd say you were welcome to live in it now, but I'm sure given the circumstances, you probably would like to wait for Saoirse's passing."

"You may take the letter as well, if you wish," Ponderosa added, summoning the unopened stack of mail with his wand, "They were addressed to Siobhan, so they were never Saoirse's to keep."

"I truly am sorry, Severus," Ponderosa said with sincere remorse, "No one deserves to go through what you and your mother went through. I only wish we'd known sooner what Saoirse had done."

"Will you go to the authorities about her actions?" Severus asked as they walked out of the office, "Tell them she faked her grandchild's disappearance?"

"That's up to you, really," Ponderosa replied, "I felt it would be more publicity you did not want, considering the scandal it would cause and all."

"Good," Severus said, nodding absentmindedly, "Good…let's keep it that way."

"As you wish," Ponderosa acquiesced retreating into his office, "It truly was wonderful to meet you, Severus. I hope to see your mother sometime as well."

"Should you ever have need of me," Ponderosa said before closing the door, "You know where to find me." The door closed with a quiet click.

Severus was out the door and on the sidewalk before Lily could blink.

"Severus!" Lily called, running after him. She struggled to keep up with his furious pace, "Severus, slow down!"

"I shouldn't have come here," Severus was muttering under his breath, "Shouldn't have bothered…"

"Sev," Lily grabbed a hold of Severus's arm, tugging him back sharply, "Severus what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?!" Severus growled, whirling around on her, "What's wrong? Did you not hear any of that in there?"

"That's not what I meant," Lily defended, "I  _know_  what's wrong. I just want to know what you're feeling. Look, I know you're understandably upset about what your great grandmother did. Honestly, she sounds right awful."

"That's just the mere tip of the iceburg, Lily!" Severus snapped, "With or without that discovery the situation is clear; I came here for  _nothing!_  There's no family left for my mum, not anyone who matters. I came here hoping to find people who could bring her back to who she used to be, but there is  _no one_  I can turn to. Just some old crone dying in a bed!"

"But what about the inheritance," Lily suggested feebly, "I know money matters little to you, but it could probably get Eileen the best treatment money can buy—"

"There is no treatment for her!" Severus nearly shouted, "This isn't a broken bone or a backfired spell, Lily. Do you know what they do with nutters in the wizarding world? Throw them in St. Mungos. Do you ever seen those folks come back out?  _No!_ " spittle flew from Severus mouth, he was seething so hard, "They're locked away and forgotten by society, deemed unnecessary because they're unless."

"Sev…" Lily tried.

"And even if I used the money to keep her in comfort at home, what then?" Severus asked rhetorically. He let out a hopeless laugh, "She just sits around, and wasting away with every passing minute until the day comes where I look her in the eye and no longer seeing her looking back? Do you know how  _breaking_  that would be?"

Lily risked taking a step forward.

"What about Occlumency?" she queried, placing a gentle hand on Severus shoulder.

Severus wiped his face, "What?"

"The books I read said it could be used to help people with troubles of the mind," Lily reminded him, "Is there no chance it could help her?"

"But what if it doesn't?" Severus asked quietly, "What if everything I try  _fails_ , Lily. What if this is all for nothing?"

"Oh, Sev," Lily soothed, reaching for him.

"You know the worst thing in all this?" Severus went on, rubbing at his eyes, "I know the truth now. My mother didn't have to live the life she had. All these years I thought my mum had no one left to turn to, cast out by her family for loving Tobias and then being unable to leave him because they wouldn't take her back. But that wasn't it at all. She chose this life all because of me, Lily. She could have just gone back and married Alphard and all her dreams would come true, but  _I_  had to exist, so she was stuck with no one but Tobias to turn to."

"You don't know that," Lily said, "Perhaps she chose him because she loved him."

"Think about it," Severus cut in, "My mum spoke of when she and my father met. March, Lily, the year of the betrothal. She got pregnant with me soon after. Without support from home, she wouldn't have survived alone, so Tobias was all she had. She could have avoided all of it if she weren't pregnant, but she just had to have me; had to give me a chance at life. She gave up happiness for me. I'm the reason that she suffers. Me!"

"That's not true," Lily insisted vehemently, gathering Severus into her arms.

"But is it," Severus sobbed, "None of this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been born, but she thought it unfair to me to terminate the pregnancy. She felt obligated to me; I'm the reason she gave it all up. And now I'm losing her."

"I have no family," Severus choked out, "No grandpas or Aunt, no cousins or relatives. I won't even count that wretch old bitch back there as family. All I have is my mother and I don't even know how long that's going to last."

Lily shushed him, rubbing her hand up and down Severus back, "You're not alone, Sev. You have me, you'll always have me."

"Until you're sick of me," Severus hiccupped.

"Never going to happen," Lily assured.

"I never got to thank you," Severus muttered, stepping back to see her probably, "For coming with me, I mean. You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to come, Sev," Lily said firmly, "I would never let you face this alone. You mean…" she swiped away some of his tears with her thumb, "so much to me, Sev."

"I know," Severus admitted, wiping at his eyes, "I know. It's just…I'm so used to everything good in my life leaving me…or never happening to begin with."

"I'm never leaving, Sev," Lily declared softly, cradling his face in her hands, "I nearly did once, and it was the worst mistake I ever made. You mean everything to me, Sev. I can't imagine my world without you."

"I feel the same," Severus confessed with a watery smile.

They stared at each other for a moment, gazing deep into one another eyes.

Slowly as if drawn by some indecipherable spell, they moved as one, arms going around waists and shoulders, lips meeting lips.

In the back of her mind, there was some reason Lily knew she probably shouldn't be doing this. The timing wasn't right. Severus was vulnerable. And wasn't there a promise she made someone about this very behavior?

For the life of her, Lily couldn't recall the exact reason it was wrong. All she could focus on was the warmth of the arms wrapped tenderly around her, the scent of spice in Severus's hair, and the sense that everything she ever wanted in the world was falling into place…

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you appreciate the twist!
> 
> The common trope used in regards to Snape's maternal family is that his grandparents, Eileen's parent's, were such bigoted pure-bloods that they disowned Eileen and never spoke to her again. The other, equally common trope is that they weren't fond of muggles, but that they dearly loved their daughter and would have taken her back if they'd known how bad her life was with her husband.
> 
> It's never confirmed in canon that Eileen was a true pureblood or that she was disowned. The first was an assumption made by Harry in the sixth book after Snape kills Dumbledore. Official HP sites state that Severus would be halfblood either way, regardless of if Eileen was halfblood or pureblood, due to the way blood purity is actually measured in the wizarding world (as in two magical parents makes a pureblood, even if one of them is muggleborn, etc).
> 
> The belief that Eileen was disowned is pure speculation by fans based on things like how Severus apparently never possessed another abode aside from his parents' house (surely if there was a wizarding residence left to him by wizarding relatives, he'd take it in a heartbeat, right?) and Severus never opting to change his surname to his mother's family name.
> 
> I decided to mix things up a little, flip the whole concept on its head here. Most fanfics depict Severus's grandfather as the head of the Prince line, patriarch overall. But given how old wizards and witches seem capable of living, it wouldn't be far fetched that an older family member was still sticking around and calling the shots, much like the Queen of England.
> 
> Sooo...how do you think things are going to go down when our reunited lovebirds return to school?
> 
> Review please :)


	78. About What Could be Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Mary finds out...what could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Everybody!
> 
> So, as usual, I am absolutely tickled pink by the reviews and views from all of you. You guys are amazing!
> 
> I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. It was simultaneously fun, yet heartbreaking to write. I love writing someone as meticulous as Ponderosa, but the more I visualized Severus's great grandmother, the more I hated her. Despised her even. An absolutely fictional woman!
> 
> So...the kiss...
> 
> As expected, we're going to have to face this sort-of love triangle eventually.
> 
> Let's dive on in.

* * *

The aftermath of Severus and Lily's kiss was, predictably, bad.

As soon as they had done it, they knew it was a mistake. Well, their feelings weren't, but their actions were. Hadn't Lily promised Mary only that very morning that she would not pursue Sev without at least telling Mary first? Hadn't they all agreed that such an emotional time in Severus's family life was not the ideal time for  _any_  of them to be thinking about relationships?

Instead Lily let her selfish wants get the best of her, let the moment carry her away. She honestly felt like she'd taken advantage of Severus, though the latter would strongly swear he hadn't done anything he hadn't wanted to do.

Not feeling comfortable lying to a friend, the two of them had pulled Mary aside upon their return an hour or so after lunch. Mary took the news about as well as one could expect, that is to say that saying she was furious, hurt, and betrayed would be a grievous understatement. Considering that she had only just recently begun to fear she could lose Severus to Lily, finding out it quite literally just happened was not exactly an easy truth to swallow.

Lily would have to give her credit though, she did her best not to make a scene, even when Severus and Lily deliberately brought her somewhere secluded so that she  _could_  vent as loudly as she rightfully deserved. It probably helped that Severus was still red eyed and ashen from the troubling visit with Ponderosa. Instead, Mary had given the pair of them an equally nasty look and stormed off with little more than a 'how could you?' to say. She avoided them the rest of the day.

Yes, Lily would have to give her credit for maintaining composure.

Of course, she had no way of knowing she'd be taking those words back as soon as she'd walked through the portrait hole that evening after dinner.

It, of course, started with the not so helpful prodding of Jess and Mel. When Mary—who'd skipped dinner that night to sulk in the dorms—caught sight of Lily entering the common room, she'd clearly had all intentions of continuing her silent treatment, sending the redhead a frosty glare before heading to the stairs.

' _Well,'_  Lily thought,  _'At least I can avoid a fight for a little while longer…'_

Unfortunately, Jessica and Meldonna were the nosiest, most gossip hungry girls to ever walk the earth and naturally pounced on the latest development in Lily and Mary's strained friendship.

"Why do you seem more upset than usual, Mary?" Jess pried.

"Yeah," Mel added, "You seemed a little miffed before but now you're down right  _seething_."

It irked Lily how much Mel seemed to relish that little tidbit. What was with her and gossip?

"It's nothing," Mary said stiffly, "I'm just having a bad night."

"But it must be more than that," Jessica pushed, "The look you gave Lily was positively scathing."

Now that got everyone's attention. Suddenly the room was abuzz with excitement and curiosity. Just what could make two girls who were always so close suddenly be at odds with each other?

Lily wished her friends had the good grace to wait until they were behind closed doors of the dorms to interrogate Mary; this really wasn't something everyone needed to hear.

Lily couldn't help but notice that James in particular had seemed very interested in the sudden turn of events. Knowing Jess, she probably told him about Rowan Gowan, having no clue that Mary had only used the boy as a scapegoat for Severus.

There was no way James knew the fight was over Severus. Remus made sure Peter knew the condition to his continued friendship with the mousy boy was contingent on him not doing anything that would incline James to start picking on Severus again. Peter seemed reasonably fearful enough at the thought of losing Remus to agree.

So anything James thought he knew came from Jess, who frankly knew nothing. James probably believed Mary and Lily were still 'fighting' over the Ravenclaw.

Well, they were fighting over a boy…just not the one James thought.

"Ooh, this is about Rowan isn't it?" Mel asked suddenly, eyes lighting up.

Once that name slipped past Mel's lips, the common room gossip rose to a frenzy. Many girls fawned and admired the handsome, charismatic boy from the wisest House. His looks were notable to give even James and Sirius some concerns over their places as the heartthrobs of the school.

"Jess, let Mary be," Lily pleaded, "This isn't anyone's business."

Lily's insistence to keep things quieter was apparently taken by the two as confirmation.

"So something  _did_  happen," Jess said triumphantly.

"What'd she do, Mary?" Mel prodded, "Did she make a move?"

"You guys, leave it be," Lily demanded.

"We just want to know why you two are fighting," Jess stated, "Don't we deserve to know what's wrong with our friends?"

Lily scowled at here, "No you don't—"

It was at the height of the chattering crescendo that Mary's cool composure finally broke.

"I trusted you…" she hissed.

"I trusted you!" Mary repeated, turning on Lily.

"Mary," Lily pleaded, "I'm sorry."

Mary scoffed, "You're sorry? What good does that do me after the fact? You knew how I felt and you kissed him!"

"You kissed him?!" Jess shrieked excitedly.

"Jess, do the world a favor and  _shut the hell up for once in your life!"_  Lily snapped.

Several people in the room 'oohed', hushing only with Lily turned her icy stare on them.

Jess worked her mouth wordlessly in shock for several minutes.

"James can you believe she said that to me?" she said finally. Hearing no response, she turned sharply to her boyfriend, "James?"

James hardly heard her, staring at Lily in stunned silence.

"Don't take this out on Jess," Mary said sharply at Lily, "She's not the one being a bad friend here."

"With how she's egging us on?" Lily challenged, "I begged to differ. I'm not a bad friend, Mary. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"But it did," Mary snapped, "Even after I told you not to."

"What would you have me do, Mary," Lily asked in angry exasperation, "Hide my feelings for forever, just to make you happy?"

"If you were a real friend, you would have," Mary cried.

"What kind of friendship is that?" Lily criticized, "Even after you knew how much he meant to me, you still expected me to do nothing unless I asked you first;  _as if I need your permission to date someone who wants to be with me_!"

"You stole him from me!" Mary accused, pointing a finger at Lily.

"You were never with him!" Lily shouted, getting sick of defending herself, "He saw you as a friend and you knew that; you were just hoping you could win him over."

Lily straightened up to her full height, "And for the record, he and I were already together before you went after him!"

Several gasps came up around the room.

In hindsight, Lily wished she'd listened to Sev when he suggested she feign sick in the hospital wing for the night so that he could bear the brunt of Mary's anger in her place in the morning.

Mary went red in the face, "Well how was I supposed to know? You two kept it a secret. Besides, you two clearly broke up by the time I told him my feelings."

"It wasn't a break-up," Lily denied, "If anything, it was only a break. He has enough on his plate right now; I didn't want him to worry about the fight."

"Well if he was with me, there wouldn't be any fights to worry about," Mary declared hotly.

"Every couple fights," Lily bit out angrily, "Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you're perfect for him."

Mary laughed hollowly, "I guess we'll never know now, will we? Because you had to swoop in and snatch him away, without any regard for my feelings."

"I've been doing nothing but putting your feelings first!" Lily yelled, "Mary, for months I've been watching you throw yourself at him, hang off him, cozy up to him, all the things I wanted to do but couldn't because I didn't want to hurt you. I've literally been putting my feelings on hold so that you could intervene in our relationship."

"You didn't  _have_  a relationship!" Mary hollered, descending the stairs, "Not after the fight. You belittled him,  _insulted him_. He doesn't need someone who doesn't trust him."

Lily clenched her fists at her sides, "I've apologized to him for that. We all make mistakes, Mary. That doesn't mean two people can't be together because of it."

"You kissing him was the mistake!" Mary said in outrage, "You knew how I felt,  _you knew!_  And you went and did it anyway."

"And I came and told you the truth right after," Lily retorted, "I can't help how I feel, Mary."

Marlene chose that moment to intervene, "Lils, Mary, maybe we should take this upstairs…"

"What makes your feelings any more valid than mine?" Mary challenged Lily, "I care about him too."

"Yeah, well I love him!" Lily shouted, slapping a hand over her mouth as she realized what she said.

The room went deathly quiet, everyone frozen in gob smacked surprise. Even Marlene's eyes were wide as saucers.

Lily hadn't meant to say it, if only because up until that moment, she hadn't even realize just how deep her feelings for Sev went. She knew she was attracted to him, that she wanted to be with him. Heck, she knew she couldn't picture her world without him, but this was the first time she'd actually described it as real, honest to goodness love.

And the first time she admitted it was to a room full of gawking jerks instead of the boy she was in love with…wonderful…

Mary said nothing, just staring wide eyes at Lily, her lower lip trembling. Sucking in a deep breath, she straightened up, closing her eyes for a brief moment.

Giving Lily one last harsh glare, she turned and silently made her way back up the stairs, slamming the door to the dorms behind her.

"She's…uh…probably heading to my room," Marlene managed to get out, shrugging awkwardly. She patted Lily on the shoulder and gave her a weak smile, "I better go see how she's doing."

Marlene took the stairs two at a time, quite literally smacking Jess to the side when the girl made to follow her along with Meldonna.

All eyes were still on Lily, hushed muttering flitting about the room as she stood there in chagrined embarrassment. Lily looked around, seeking out a friend, an ally in her plight and was relieved to find Remus giving her an encouraging smile.

"Want to help me study for Potions, Lily?" Remus asked kindly.

A thankful smile overtaking her face, Lily nodded, "I'd be happy to."

The pair found a secluded corner of the common room, ignoring the stares and whispers until their housemates eventually grew bored at the lull in action and the gossip petered off. Peter at some point moseyed over from spending time with Sirius, wanting to spend more time with the former heir of Black, but knowing his potions scores were too dismal to miss out on a chance to be tutored by one of the best students in the subject.

As the fire faded to a glimmer in the fireplace and students trickled off to bed, Lily shot a forlorn glance to the girl's dorm, knowing that she'd be spending another night without her friend to talk to.

 

{page break}

 

"And she's been mad at me ever since," Lily finished her tale over breakfast the next morning.

"You mean madder than she was simply knowing you liked Severus," Simone pointed out, "You know…before you went and made out with him."

"Thank you for that unnecessary input, Serapeum," Severus said sardonically, "I can't say it was needed nor appreciated."

Simone gave a very exaggerated shrug, "Don't be snippy with me. I'm not the one who went snogging behind my friend's back."

"It was a kiss," Lily interjected tiredly, "One simple kiss. It's not like we did anything lewd."

"Was there tongue?" Simone asked, waggling her eyebrows.

Thea nearly spit up her juice when she choked.

Lily sighed, stirring her tea intermittently, "We know we shouldn't have done it. But things were…emotional. We got caught up in the moment."

Severus nodded, "You really can't fault us for having feelings for each other. It's not something we have control over."

"Yeah, but we still could have waited until we settled things with Mary before doing anything," Lily admitted sadly, "I never meant to hurt her. I was just hoping her crush would die down and she'd get over you, then we could pick up where we left off. No offense," she added, looking apologetically at Severus, "It's not that I don't believe she could have feelings for you…I just sort of figured her personality would eventually clash with yours."

Severus gave a grimace mixed with a smirk, "None taken."

"I guess I always thought I was the only one who liked your snarky personality," Lily confessed morosely, "It's what I saw so compatible about us. I never would have guessed Mary would also become smitten with you."

Simone took a sip of her tea, a thoughtful expression on her face, "We're still assuming this was real affection on her part and not just some damsel in distress thing."

Lily tilted her head, "How do you mean?"

"No offense, Evans, but you really are the only one who could possibly find this sourpuss," Simone pointed at Severus, "charming."

"Shouldn't that lack of offense be directed at me?" Severus questioned dryly.

Simone waved him away, "I don't care if I offend you. You've got a smug face; you're asking for it."

"Anyway," Simone continued, ignoring Severus's scowl, "Mary hardly even knew Severus before the end of your fifth year. She didn't have a strong opinion of him either way. Now, we know the type she prefer before she fell for Severus; flashy, conventionally handsome, roguish blokes. The whole 'Sirius Black' flare, you know?"

"Her and every other girl with bad taste in this school," Severus muttered.

"My point is," Simone said sternly, "Her previous preference is nothing like you. So why would she suddenly find you desirable when previously, you didn't match any of the traits she typically goes for?"

Severus stared at her blankly, "Am I supposed to know the answer to that?"

Simone groaned, dropping her head onto the table.

Thea, mercifully decided to take over, "You were practically a stranger to Mary before fifth year ended; a prickly stranger at that."

Severus frowned at her.

"He's not prickly," Lily defended poorly, "He's just…a more reserved sort of friendly…"

"Smooth," Simone teased with a smirk.

Thea pushed on, "Mary naturally gravitated towards boys who acted like typical guys, the manly, amorous Casanovas like Sirius or James. Then you sweep in and save her from something too terribly to think about."

"So?" Severus questioned.

"So," Thea said, "Don't you think after what she went through, the randy boys she was accustom to might make her…nervous."

"So you're saying I was a last resort," Severus said dourly.

"I'm saying you were safe," Thea corrected, "Severus, you burst in wand blazing and rescued her, cementing in her mind that such awful acts are the last thing you would ever do. But the other hormonal boys in school are an unknown to her. I doubted she thought Mulciber was capable of rape, even knowing how terrible he was. She feels unsure about other guys, has no clue what they're thinking or willing to do."

"The incident with Nesme didn't help," Simone interjected, "You saw how hard it was for people to take a love potion seriously. Some of the boys seemed to view it as an innocent way to have a one-night stand. Sirius was among them; Mary's former crush. I doubt Mary felt too confident about the morality of her male classmates after hearing that."

"To Mary, you were someone she could trust," Thea picked up, "You represented the type of guy who would never do anything to harm her. It's possible that somewhere along the way, she began to romanticize that."

"Hence, why she was crushing on someone with the emotional range of a teaspoon," Simone summed up with finality.

Severus glared at her, Simone made a kissy face in return.

"Look," Severus said, running a hand through his hair, "I like Mary. I really do. But I don't like her in that way."

"And you're not obligated to," Thea said simply, "Just as Mary had the right to choose to pursue you, you have the right to not be interested. You're mistake was not shutting her down firmly."

"I tried to," Severus said in exasperation, "She kept thinking she would change my mind."

Simone rolled her eyes, "That was when Mary thought no one else was vying for your affections. She probably assumed you'd go for her once you realized no one else was around."

"That's some…depressing low self-esteem," Severus said.

Simone ignored him, "What Thea's talking about is after it was out in the open that Lily wanted you back. You should have directly told Mary you wanted Lily, no ifs, ands, or buts. You never had an interest in Mary, so why the inaction once you realized Lily still wanted you?"

"Because Mary was pissed enough as it was," Severus snapped, "What was I supposed to do? Go up to her and say, 'Hey, now that you know the truth, mind if I go live happily ever after with your best friend?'"

"Probably still would have hurt her less," Thea stated.

"You know," Simone tacked on, "Provided you actually waited for her to start to get over you  _before_  you snogged your girlfriend."

"It was one, little kiss," Severus insisted.

"I feel awful," Lily said, slumping down on the table, "I never wanted to hurt Mary. She's one of the best friends I've ever had—next to you, Sev."

"I didn't want to hurt her either," Severus agreed with a remorseful sigh, "I'm not sorry you and I made up, but I never intended to make Mary think I didn't at least care about her feelings even if I didn't return them."

"Still, Mary shouldn't have assumed that having a crush on you meant she got dibs," Simone reasoned, "You did tell her that you didn't feel that way; she's the one who decided that meant she'd have to convince you to like her."

"But it isn't like she was trying to force me into anything," Severus pointed out, "She was just hoping spending some time with me would make me fonder of her. She was essentially just doing all the things we already did as friends…just with the hope it would become something more."

"Yeah, but with all the hand holding she initiated…" Simone reminded him.

"And hugging," Thea added.

"Listen," Severus sighed, "She may have been a little clingy, but it wasn't like I told her to knock it off. You all hug me and the like all the time; the only difference is that her actions had different context, romance versus friendship."

"I suppose we are a handsy bunch," Simone mused, fiddling with a strand of Thea's hair.

Lily snapped her fingers at them, "Can we all focus? What are we going to do?"

"Well for starters, I suggest you two laying low with your relationship for a while," Simone threw out, "Mary needs some time to work off some steam at you two, and I doubt it will be easier if she has to see you flaunting it in her face."

Thea nodded, "Let Mary get this anger out of her system. She may come to find she didn't like Severus so much as the idea of him."

"Make sure you both apologize too when you get the chance," Simone put forth, "I mean a real apology, one where you let Mary know you're aware that it wasn't fair to her to find out this way. She needs to know you're actually concerned about respecting her feelings. Sure, you can't return her affections, Snape, but you can let her know that you wanted to take her feelings into account."

"In time, hopefully the hurt will fade," Thea told them, "You both are important to her, I doubt she wants to throw all that away."

Simone leaned back in a stretch, "Meanwhile, I guess the rest of us will have to be the go between for you two and Mary. We've still got all the Diadem and Diary nonsense to figure out, so we can't afford to lose one of our numbers."

"Still no leads on who could have taken the diary?" Lily inquired.

Simone shook her head, "Myrtle hasn't seen anyone even attempt to enter the bathroom. Everyone that enters that hall seems to have no inclination to go near it; they don't even travel closer enough to activate the forgetfulness charms we put up. So who ever took it either doesn't know the bathroom holds the entrance, or they're steering clear because they know someone will be watching."

"Nesme and Davis have found nothing as well," Thea said.

"And Regulus hasn't seen anyone suspicious either," Severus admitted, "Well…more suspicious than usual for Slytherins."

"Speaking of the former, where are Nes and Davis?" Lily asked curiously.

Simone grinned, "Nesme dragged Davis to a breakfast with the Divination Professor. She's become obsessed with palm reading lately."

"Which critical, logical Davis wants nothing to do with," Severus summarized, "Poor bastard."

Simone laughed, "So where's Remus?"

Lily took a bite of her eggs before answering, "Marlene's spending time with Mary, so Remus is doing her a favor and looking for Peter. What with him splitting his time between three separate friends now, it's a lot harder to track him down. He goes missing for hours lately."

"Can't Lupin use the map?" Severus asked.

Lily shook her head, "James has it and apparently he's hidden it. The only way to get a hold of it would be to ask Peter to steal it, but Remus is too nice for that."

A commotion by the doors drew their attention to the Great Hall entrance. Storming in with a furious expression, a normally handsome faced young man in Ravenclaw colors was sporting a rather unflattering shade of puke green hair, inviting the laughter of many.

"Isn't that Rownan Gowan?" Thea asked, "I wonder what happened to him."

"Oh no," Lily groaned, slapping a hand to her head, "Mary's fib."

She looked over her shoulder towards the Gryffindor table. Lo and behold, James sat among his snickering classmates with a rather triumphant grin on his face.

"Okay, you may be right, Sev," Lily muttered, "Potter might still not be over me."

Severus smirked into his pumpkin juice, "I had no clue what's going on, but I can't say I hate hearing that I'm right…"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I only made Rowan up on the spot several weeks ago, but man do I feel bad for him right now! XD
> 
> So, I hope no one is that mad at Lily or Mary. They can't really help how they feel about this. Lily can't help but love Severus and technically Mary wasn't dating him. While it would be nice to warn Mary first of her intentions to re-pursue Severus, it's not really owed to Mary as Severus is his own person and Mary doesn't get a say on him wanting to be with Lily.
> 
> On the other hand, Mary does have a right to feel upset; no one is saying she doesn't have a right to her feelings. The trouble is, her feelings weren't reciprocated and she is going to need to learn that her intent to woo Severus doesn't make him off limits to others as she wasn't in a relationship with him. Still, she has the right to be upset that the person she wants doesn't feel the same way, and she's well within her right to be upset at the thought of watching her best friend get the chance to be with him.
> 
> Needless to say, feelings are complicated. Glad I'm asexual and aromantic.
> 
> Review please!


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